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UPDATE inside. Could use some good thoughts/prayers this next month.


dirty ethel rackham
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So, last week I started classes for the Medical Sonography program.  I am loving it.  Long days, but I am so happy to have something that occupies my mind and where I am  getting to know new people ... inside and out, literally.  So, we have scan labs where we scan each other to learn scanning techniques, protocols, and what those grayscale swirly images really are.  Yesterday, we were practicing trans abdominal pelvic scans.  We often find differences that are often not clinically significant.  But sometimes, we find things that need to be checked out.  When it was my turn to be a patient, when they were searching for my ovaries (hard to find on postmenopausal women), they found a rather large cyst where an ovary would usually be and was approximately the size of an ovary  The instructor told me it was probably nothing, but given my age and menstrual status, it would be a good idea to get it checked out.  So, I got in to see the PA today so that I could get the referral for an official scan and a referral to a gynecologist.  My scan is scheduled for Sunday.  Please pray that this turns out to be nothing.  (No family history of ovarian cancer that I know of and I am asymptomatic.)  I staying busy enough not to worry too much, but the waiting between appointments is really hard.  

My other issue has to do with K.  We had a serious issue last March and K was arrested for assaulting dh.  She has been out of the house and life is calmer and less hostile at home.  She has chosen to go to trial (why, I don't know ... I think she just hasn't had any good legal advice despite my efforts to get her some through back channels.)  Which means dh was issued a subpoena to testify.  We had some reports of less hostile feelings towards us since she has been out of the house, but this may put her over the edge and may escalate any danger ... and make things worse for herself.  The trial is in 3 weeks.

In the meantime, she has really struggled ... couch surfing, squatting in a rental house with friends who then abandoned her.  I have been putting small amounts of money in her account to make sure she can get medications and food, but not enough for her to do something stupid.  My heart is breaking ... for the loss of relationship with her, for her lost future, for the difficulties she is facing now, and for what may come. 

UPDATE:

I had the scan yesterday.  As much as I tried not to worry, I started imagining all the horrible things that could happen, especially since this is a postmenopausal finding.  The tech took a long time visualizing things that were not this cyst, so of course, I made myself pretty crazy.  However, it is amazing what a good night's sleep can do.  I woke up able to put it out of my head and study like crazy for 3 quizzes I have this week.  I wasn't expecting the results until Wednesday, but I received a notice on MyChart that they came in.  Nothing else on there but a nearly 5 cm cyst on my right ovary.  It looks like a fluid filled sac, nothing bad in there and nothing else remarkable in the entire area.  So, I just need to check in with a gynecologist and will likely just need some follow up scans to make sure it doesn't become something more troublesome.  

I think you for your prayers and good thoughts.  We still don't know what will happen with K.  Trial is in 2 weeks.  Not sure if she will be homeless by then.  I hope she was able to connect with some of the resources we sent via backchannels.  

Edited by dirty ethel rackham
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I hope the scan is nothing or else, something easily dealt with. How fortuitous, though, that this anomaly was discovered through the class. One of the troubles with ovaries is the propensity for problems to go undetected for too long. 

I am so sorry about the relationship with K. I was just talking to a friend whose child has similar problems and it just breaks my heart into pieces. They are about the most outstanding parents I know but their child has profound mental illness and it’s hard to repair. Those are times I wish I had a magic wand and could just fix it. 

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Prayers, absolutely. I'm so sorry you're facing yet another trial, Ethel. I hope the scan gives you reassurance. As for K, sometimes no matter what we do or how hard we try and how much we love someone, things are out of our hands. You and the rest of your family matter, too. You need to be safe as well. I so admire how you have pushed through every difficulty with such love. Best wishes.

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I will pray for you. Tomorrow I was thinking of heading to the Holy Sepulchre; if I make it down there I will pray w special intention for you. 

You know I have had difficult years w my ds; just want to say it can get better. He told me a few weeks ago that he understood our intentions and that made our decisions (for treatment) ok with him. He is letting go of some of the anger and pain he felt WRT his residential programs and such. It was good to hear, and allowed me the grace to say we made mistakes, too (which I've acknowledged before, but this was another opportunity). All to say, I do hold hope for you and your daughter. 

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On 8/28/2019 at 5:13 PM, dirty ethel rackham said:

UPDATE:

I had the scan yesterday.  As much as I tried not to worry, I started imagining all the horrible things that could happen, especially since this is a postmenopausal finding.  The tech took a long time visualizing things that were not this cyst, so of course, I made myself pretty crazy.  However, it is amazing what a good night's sleep can do.  I woke up able to put it out of my head and study like crazy for 3 quizzes I have this week.  I wasn't expecting the results until Wednesday, but I received a notice on MyChart that they came in.  Nothing else on there but a nearly 5 cm cyst on my right ovary.  It looks like a fluid filled sac, nothing bad in there and nothing else remarkable in the entire area.  So, I just need to check in with a gynecologist and will likely just need some follow up scans to make sure it doesn't become something more troublesome.  

 

I'm very glad to read this part of the update. I've been doing assorted scans and diagnostic procedures for the last four or five weeks, and I know how tough it is to avoid conjuring up the worst case every time. So happy that at least this doesn't need to become a bigger issue for you!

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