sunshine Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 tonight after church I was talking with our Youth Director's wife, they are moving out of state next month and we were talking about the stress of being in ministry and the stress on a Pastor's family. She said that she had the hardest time adjusting to being a minister's wife because of the time it took her husband from her. then she said that she just needed to "breathe his air". It made me want to cry. She said he was her best friend. I was just wondering how many of you still love your dh like that? Or if you just love him and never want to be without him, maybe not the breathing air thing but can't imagine not being married to him. I wish I knew how to make a poll but I don't have a clue. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5kidsforME Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 tonight after church I was talking with our Youth Director's wife, they are moving out of state next month and we were talking about the stress of being in ministry and the stress on a Pastor's family. She said that she had the hardest time adjusting to being a minister's wife because of the time it took her husband from her. then she said that she just needed to "breathe his air". It made me want to cry. She said he was her best friend. I was just wondering how many of you still love your dh like that? Or if you just love him and never want to be without him, maybe not the breathing air thing but can't imagine not being married to him. I wish I knew how to make a poll but I don't have a clue. I cannot imagine my life without my dh. My dh is my very best friend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nestof3 Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 I honestly don't think I ever felt so intensely for dh like that. Not in the "he's my best friend" sort of way. Sometimes I really wish I felt that, b/c I always wanted my husband to be my best friend. I guess he is -- it just doesn't feel like the way I imagined it. I hope that makes sense. I envy people when they talk like that too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sagira Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 then she said that she just needed to "breathe his air". It made me want to cry. She said he was her best friend. I had to smile. That's how I love my dh. I'm not a very physically demonstrative person, but I still get excited when he calls me from work (which is virtually every day). We've been together for 12 years, married for 8. I'm 31, he's 30. We're growing up together :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emeraldjoy Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 I have been waiting for a husband brag; thinking of starting a thread on it. I am VERY pregnant and last week a sweet lady came to take family photos of the pregnancy; kids hands on stomache, etc. and she edited out my stretch marks which I liked very, very much. When my husband saw the photos he was mad that she edited them and much perferred my real belly to the nice, smooth, fake one portrayed. Tell me, how could you NOT love someone like that? It is bitter-sweet for us. We fight like h-ll and love like crazy; I am convinced that is how we have managed for 10 years with the passion that we still have today. Yes, today I am madly in love with him, tommorow I may not like him very much....but.....I always know that soon enough, I will madly love him again. Ebbs and flows for sure. emerald Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 Husband is my best friend. Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassenach Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 We fight like h-ll and love like crazy; I am convinced that is how we have managed for 10 years with the passion that we still have today. Yes, today I am madly in love with him, tommorow I may not like him very much....but.....I always know that soon enough, I will madly love him again. Ebbs and flows for sure. emerald I can relate to that for sure. Though over the years, the fighting has definitely mellowed. We are still absolutely passionate about eachother and I think more dependent on each other than we were in our early years. We've also grown up together. He's 30, I'm 28. Our 11th aniversary is on Saturday and we've been together since I was 15. We're a total best case scenario of teenage pregnancy :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joannqn Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 My marriage fell apart on our wedding day and went downhill from there. Five years ago, my husband asked for a divorce. He said I could continue to live in the family home until I found a job. He told me I would still be allowed to have visitation with the kids. It was one of the worst days of my life. I couldn't handle this one on my own so, for once, I turned everything over to God. I contacted a lawyer (since he retained one before even telling me he wanted a divorce) but then I canceled my appointment. Only God could fix this. Then things turned around. First, he changed his mind about kicking me out. He agreed to be the one moving out and to share custody of the kids, knowing that he'd have limited time with them due to their young ages at the time. Then he said he didn't have to leave; we could work it out. It's been five years. We've had ups and mild downs. Each year, I remember the anniversary of that day he told me he was divorcing me and kicking me out. This year was the first year I forgot that day. I forgot it because I have been following the advice in Love and Respect and our marriage is better now than I could have imagined. I love my husband now. I believe he loves me now. I'm glad we stuck it out and made it work. I'm looking forward to the day we need to breathe each other's air. I believe we'll get there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TN Mama Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 My husband is absolutely my best friend. We always have such a wonderful time together and it doesn't matter what we're doing. I hate it that he's gone right now and miss him terribly. But I am looking forward to seeing him in a few weeks. We talk several times every day (that was true even when he was home) and are always laughing together. I cannot imagine him not being in my life. :001_wub: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 Yes, I am absolutely in love with my DH and just the thought of him not being here with me makes me want to cry. We've been married 13 years. The kids say ewwww when they see us kiss, and we hold hands a lot. I tell him I wish I could crawl into his pocket to stay close to him all the time. He is definitely my best friend. He'll even listen objectively when I want to rant about him. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pata Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 Yes, my dh is my best friend. My heart goes pitter-patter when he comes home and I can't sleep when he's not here. He's my other half and I'm so thankful to have him! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paz Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 My dh and I feel that way about each other. We are best friends and couldn't imagine life without each other. Occassionally we argue like crazy because we are both very independent and strong-willed.:lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8filltheheart Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 tonight after church I was talking with our Youth Director's wife, they are moving out of state next month and we were talking about the stress of being in ministry and the stress on a Pastor's family. She said that she had the hardest time adjusting to being a minister's wife because of the time it took her husband from her. then she said that she just needed to "breathe his air". It made me want to cry. She said he was her best friend. I was just wondering how many of you still love your dh like that? Or if you just love him and never want to be without him, maybe not the breathing air thing but can't imagine not being married to him. I wish I knew how to make a poll but I don't have a clue. Absolutely. My dh really does complete me. We have been together for 3/5 of my life!! (Wow......I hadn't thought about in those terms before. I do remember when we hit being married longer than 1/2 of my life!!) Our relationship just gets closer and more wonderful with each passing day. Of course, since I married the world's most wonderful man, I'm sorry none of you get to experience the same marital bliss. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mad Jenny Flint Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 We like each other and there is fun and humor in our days. We listen to one another and we put our marriage in front of our personal needs. He is my touchstone, and I am his. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamaof2andtwins Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 I am sometimes very overwhelmed by the love I still have for my husband after 17+ years. It hasn't always been that way, but six years ago when I truly decided to follow God's will, it turned around 180 degrees. Things are not "ideal" or perfect like I would like them, but things re good, very, very, good. Jennie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catherine Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 My dh had a heart attack 2 years ago at the age of 46 and truly, I did not need this reminder of how attached I am to him but it sure did make me grateful for what we have now. And sure to not take a moment we have for granted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BritAnnia Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 I don't think dh and I are in the breathing each others air category and never have been. I do believe we were destined to be together. I love him, I don't want to imagine life without him, but we do not share a mad passion... neither of us are that energetic :tongue_smilie: We love, we are loved, we share, we care, we comfort, we are bonded. It's a beautiful warm fuzzy feeling :001_wub: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pongo Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 I say this sincerely from my heart. I fall in love more and more with my husband every day. We have been married for 11 years and the first few years were hard, but now it's amazing. He makes me smile everyday and we truly are the best of friends. We call each other like teenagers (my mom says) just to say, "how's your day" or " I love you". It's been a fun journey and I can't wait to see where it leads us. We have some pretty fun date nights, the last one a few weeks ago, we got a "girl movie" jumped into bed and ate Chinese food out of the box with chopsticks. I am thankful every day he is the face I see last, before I go to sleep and first when I wake up:001_wub:. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NicksMama-Zack's Mama Too Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 I still think he's the sexiest and smartest guy in the room.:tongue_smilie: We've been together for 22 years (married 18). We've had periods where we feel very disconnected and periods of intense togetherness. Ebb and flow. It's not all sunshine and roses, it's hard to be married and requires much work. We constantly work to maintain our relationship. Auto-pilot doesn't cut it here. We have a very traditional marriage and are dependent on each other. Neither of us get much sleep when we are apart. We have different "love languages" so it's doesn't come naturally to provide for each other's needs. It's work, but very rewarding work. I can't imagine being with anyone else. K Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lynn Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 Absolutely. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pam "SFSOM" in TN Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 tonight after church I was talking with our Youth Director's wife, they are moving out of state next month and we were talking about the stress of being in ministry and the stress on a Pastor's family. She said that she had the hardest time adjusting to being a minister's wife because of the time it took her husband from her. then she said that she just needed to "breathe his air". It made me want to cry. She said he was her best friend. I was just wondering how many of you still love your dh like that? Or if you just love him and never want to be without him, maybe not the breathing air thing but can't imagine not being married to him. I wish I knew how to make a poll but I don't have a clue. I do now. There have been times in my life that I didn't even much like the man. (And not because of anything that he particularly did or did not do -- this says more about me than about him, really.) It waxes and wanes. Then waxes again. It's not any sort of perpetual honeymoon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stripe Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 Hmm. Interesting. I am happily married but I would not say I consider that type of love to be a necessary or even important (!) way of feeling, in other words, I think there are lots of genuinely happy marriages where the parties are more independent but still quite attached. An interesting perspective from this book: First comes marriage: modern advice from the ancient wisdom of arranged marriages by Reva Seth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aunty Social Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blueridge Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 Oh my, I love my dh so deeply...I think of an old romantic song with the words 'our love is tangled like the branches of a vine...so intertwined'. We met on the marching band field when we were high school freshmen. He told me that he saw me as I was coming out to the field (as a new student) and couldn't believe how beautiful I was! Time has changed that LOL but he still says things like that to me. We are both now 49. His recent health crisis gave me the fright of my life, and yet I feel our lives have a renewed sense of freshness and thankfulness that we have been able to share each other's lives through the bad and the good. I cannot imagine my life without him. I really do believe that the Lord honors commitments and deepens them layer upon layer, with marriage ultimately a glimpse of heaven on earth. Ginger Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 I honestly don't think I ever felt so intensely for dh like that. Not in the "he's my best friend" sort of way. Sometimes I really wish I felt that, b/c I always wanted my husband to be my best friend. I guess he is -- it just doesn't feel like the way I imagined it. I hope that makes sense. I envy people when they talk like that too. My feelings exactly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peela Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 I love him a lot, he loves me a lot, but it's been one hell of a rough journey at times. If it weren't for the kids we wouldn't have hung in this far but we are open and honest with each other and very good friends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ria Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 My husband is my very best friend ever, and has been since we met at age 18. We are now 45 years old and have been married 23 years. I hate to be away from him. Given a choice of going away for a weekend or staying home with him, I'll be with him. I feel such peace when I'm around him. He is my soulmate. He completes me. Ria Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 My dh is very dear to me, and always has been. I was so surprised to fall in love with him--I had always been attracted to more intense, artistic, rebellious types. I have come to be so very thankful for the lack of artistic intensity--conversely, I am so very thankful for the steadiness, the companionship, the friendship. Yes, he truly is my best friend, and I do not sleep well when he is away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 My DH really is my best friend and I prefer him to all other adults. I just like being with him and feel comfortable with him. We have a happy marriage. But I do need time apart from him. I'm not particularly fond of breathing the same air 24 hours a day. I like that he has to leave for work. I don't mind evenings when he is out occasionally. I'm glad he doesn't travel anymore - that could be a bit much. My father always played golf and my mother resented the time it took from their family. DH's hoppies are tennis and painting/drawing. The art happens around the house. He's not particularly interested in activities with other men, and spends his free time with me. I like that. But I do need alone time more than most people and if we are together for days, I can get a bit restless. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KidsHappen Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 I am completely unable to put into words how much I love my husband. He is my reason for being. I love him so much that some times it is physically painful. It literally takes my breath away. I believe that he feels the same way. I can't imagine surviving if I ever lost him. I got very ill after my mother passed away. It took me six months to recover and I was no where near as close to my mother as my hubby. Plus my hubby gave me a reason to go on living. If I didn't have him, I really don't know that I would have a reason to survive. We have been married for 18 years and as others have said marriage is hard work. It hasn't always been easy. There have been ups and downs. But the downs have been far and few between (only two serious ones that I can think of in all this time) and the ups just keep getting better and better. I am truly blessed. :001_wub: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
percytruffle Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 Absolutely. When he has to travel for work it is like part of me is missing. He is the center of my little universe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrsdash Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 Absolutely. When he has to travel for work it is like part of me is missing. He is the center of my little universe. This sounds like me. When my dh went out of town for 2 weeks, I lost 8 lbs, ha. I think about him all day. I tell him that I still have a giant crush on him :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elaine Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 Without a doubt. My husband is my hero, he puts me back together when I fall apart. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Erica in PA Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 I love my husband very much. He is the best friend I've ever had, and the person whose company I enjoy most on this earth. We love each other even more now than when we got married, and our love continues to grow over the years. I'm not the romantic sort of person who would use a phrase like "breathing his air," but I couldn't be happier than I am being married to my husband. He is a true gift from God. Erica Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laurad1125 Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 People talk about loosing a right hand. I think loosing DH would be more like loosing a lung. I couldn't even breathe without him. We've been together 18 years and each year we become closer. I don't think I could function without him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 We just celebrated the 25th anniversary of our engagement--we do that every year. I blogged about it, so you can read the story of how he asked me to marry him there--it's pretty funny, if I do say so myself. We have ups and downs. I have come to understand love in a different way than the fairy tales and such lead me to believe--I see love as a commitment, not a feeling. There are definitely feelings (Geez, I have feelings all over the place--I'm very feeling oriented) but I don't let the feelings drive my behaviour as much anymore. Dh is so tender to me--he does not ever want to say mean things, and he holds a lot in. Unfortunately, that means he doesn't communicate as much as I like. Once I accepted that my needs for intimate conversation were not going to be totally filled by my man, it became easier to love him and want him. I have great girl friends, but my husband fills my heart in a different way. After 23 years of marriage, we are still a little shy about some things, and we realize we are fallen creatures--but we love, we are committed, we can't imagine life without each other. It takes guts to stay when your heart hurts. It takes guts to walk with someone whose heart hurts. Because we've closed the divorce door, (and because there's no reason for a divorce--want to make that clear--), we've stuck it out when there was sickness, family trauma, denial of problems, lack of time, lost focus, less affection--and we have grown together thru it all. I don't want to breathe his air. I want to free him to have all the air he needs. But I do want to walk this path beside him, and hold his hand. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sleepy Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 I cannot imagine my life without my dh. My dh is my very best friend. :001_smile: That is exactly how I feel about my dh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tonia Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 My husband is my best friend. I DO like it when he goes to work because I don't get much done when he is home :001_smile: but I can't go to sleep at night until I know he's here and safe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chelle in MO Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 I do love him very much! Of course, I'd better say that after the anniversary message he posted here yesterday! He infuriates me at times, but I still think he's incredible. I need to tell him that more often. Chelle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirty ethel rackham Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 Glad to hear that there is someone who experiences the waxing and waning of a marriage. While I love my husband deeply, while we are very committed to eachother, we are in a waning cycle. We both are experiencing a very stressful season our lives and it is hard when the marriage is not nourishing the spirit. I crave the intimacy that I read about here, but dh does not. I need to fight the green eyed monster of envy when I hear about other people's marriages. I need to remind myself of my blessings. I need to remind myself that comparison waters the seeds of discontent. (One of the most important lessons from the Little House books!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lorna Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 Yes, I am absolutely in love with my DH and just the thought of him not being here with me makes me want to cry. We've been married 13 years. The kids say ewwww when they see us kiss, and we hold hands a lot. I tell him I wish I could crawl into his pocket to stay close to him all the time. He is definitely my best friend. He'll even listen objectively when I want to rant about him. :) Substitute 15 years and add 'me too!'. If only someone would invent a shrinking machine... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 Dh and I have been married 10 years and together for 12, but have never had a need to be in each other's pockets. We'd be in hysterics laughing if one or the other said that we need to breath the other's air. As for imagining live without him, well, that happens quire frequently. Not because I'm looking for an out, but because with his job he is more likely than some to not come home one evening. Being in law enforcement and a volunteer firefighter, it could happen at any time. I've got plans for the beginning falling apart time, plans for where dd and I are going to move, plans for what I'm going to do for going back to school and continuing homeschooling, and employment. I know that with these I can run on autopilot for quite some time. I don't know how common it is for wives of men who earn their living in the line of fire to have plans like this, but I talked to one of the other station wives here last year and compared plans. We debated the pros and cons of moving to New Hampshire and Connecticut,among other things, if the worst happens. So while I love him dearly, if he doesn't to come home tonight I could function without him. If he comes home and tells me he has to detail to NM for 6 months, I could keep the home together until he got home with out being devastated with him gone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nakia Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 I am crazy in love with my dh. We have been together more than half my life (met when I was 15!). He is my rock. I feel blessed every day to have him as my best friend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fivetails Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 I don't call my dh "my best friend" - because I do have a best friend and the relationship with my husband is on a different...level? Hmmm....That word doesn't really fit - but I haven't got one that does right now. (My best friend is a cousin of mine who is basically a brother to me. You'd swear we *were* brother and sister, not cousins.) ....My husband - is the other half of my heart. Sappy, but true. :) ...We've had our ups and downs - boy did we ever, especially in the beginning - but I can not imagine being with anyone else. We were meant to be together. Has anyone ever seen the movie "Untamed Heart"? There's a line in it that goes like: "He doesn't make sense, I don't make sense, together we make sense." ...... :D (extra info: We've been together for nine years {the kids in my sig are "our kids", but technically they're my stepkids - he came with a family} -- and finally got married this past January. 'Bout dang time.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweetpeach Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 I've been married for 10 + years. DH and I had never enjoyed, experienced that "best friend, passionate lover, confidante" type of marriage. I continued to press into the marriage but something was always missing. For the first time ever in our relationship, I think we are starting to uncover new shoots of vulnerability, we're starting to really see each other. It's such a joy. I hate to jump on a bandwagon, but it's because of Love & Respect. I needed love but didn't respect my husband. It's that simple. I wasn't giving him what he needed and I wasn't getting what I needed. The turn-around in our relationship astounds me, still. I'm always really super-happy for those of you who get relationship. It's a steep learning curve for me, but progress is sweet. If you asked this question again in a year, I betcha I could be one of the posters who says, "absolutely all the way in love with my DH!!" Today, I say I love him in a very hopeful way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jg_puppy Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 My husband is my best friend. I love him more than I could possibly be able to describe. Jan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rafiki Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Camy-7 boybarians 1 lady Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 I love my dh even more now than 17 years ago, when we first met. It has taken effort on my part to, at times, change my attitude and thinking regarding him as a man. I now respect and admire him w/ all that I have. He is my best friend, and I would rather be with him than anyone else. The passion still lives! Blessings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pink Fairy Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 My dh and I will be celebrating our 19th anniversary next month, and I love him completely. He's just a fantastic person--really, really special, like no one I've ever met--and I totally don't deserve him. I hate being apart from him for more than a day, but...I don't feel like I need to "breath his air" or anything like that. We don't hold hands and kiss all the time, or have to spend every minute together. That would drive me crazy, honestly, but it doesn't mean I don't love him with every fiber of my being. The longer we're married the more I love him, and the more we love each other, but it's not in that "falling in love" kind of way. It's deeper, more satisfying. :001_wub: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Lynx Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 People talk about loosing a right hand. I think loosing DH would be more like loosing a lung. I couldn't even breathe without him. We've been together 18 years and each year we become closer. I don't think I could function without him. Exactly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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