The budget categories that DH complains about most....

[Ann.without.an.e]

I am just going to be transparent here....I know that the response from you all will vary greatly because we are all from different walks of life, different incomes, different regions with different economies, etc. 

 

We have tracked spending in YNAB for years.  DH hates the amount we spend in gifts, clothing, household, school, and food. 

 

There are 6 of us.  

 

I budge $200/month for clothing for 6 of us (this includes shoes and I usually refuse to buy used or cheap brands because I value feet).

 

$250/month I budget for gifts.  That is 4 kids for birthday and Christmas.  A good bit of extended family that we buy for too for Christmas and some for Birthday too.  We do not usually by gifts for each other.  

 

$1100/month for food.  This is gluten free, dairy free which is painful sometimes.  We don't each much organic at all.  We limit meat to cheaper cuts.  I am picky about chicken though.  I buy the natural Springer Mountain farms chicken but I wait for it to be clearanced.

 

$250/month for general household.  Toilet paper, cleaning products, office supplies, etc, etc.  

 

$450/month for school.  Older two HS kiddos take DE at college and it is a great price but not super cheap, especially the textbooks and I can never seem to find them used.  I feel like this school rigs their textbooks so  you have to buy from them.  Youngest can still use most things hand me down.   He is still pretty cheap, haha.

 

So here....I open myself up to judgement.  Is this unreasonable?  

 

 

 

 

 

Edited December 30, 2017 by Attolia

[Spryte]

I think it sounds very reasonable.

[Joker]

There are only four of us but we spend more than you on food so no judgement here.

 

Clothing seems like a lot to me but everyone here has quit growing so we don't spend that much.

 

Gifts sound very reasonable. Dc here usually always ask for vacations as gifts so we spend more there too.

 

It all sounds fine to me.

[fraidycat]

That does not look unreasonable to me.

[BarbecueMom]

Hating the amount spent and it being perfectly reasonable are not mutually exclusive.   :lol:

 

The only one that may be a bit high is the non-grocery household items.  If you are including Rx/OTC meds, vitamins/supplements, makeup, and skin care products though, I can see where that would get high with teens in the house.  And why your DH might be a bit bewildered by it.

[prairiewindmomma]

We are also a family of six; those all seem very close to our numbers.

[marbel]

The only category that gives me pause is gifts.  But we are not huge gift-givers here, and we don't buy for extended family.  I'm only mentioning it because if your husband wants to cut spending, gifts for extended family could be a pretty easy place to start.  Or not, depending on family culture.  

 

ETA: I'm an idiot, we do buy some for extended family, but not much.  Just MIL and FIL birthday and Christmas, and Christmas only for great-nieces and nephews. Nothing for siblings or their kids, just siblings' grandkids.  And all are mostly token gifts.

Edited December 30, 2017 by marbel

[Soror]

Groceries look reasonable to me, we are GF too and mostly DF, it is significantly more expensive. I live in a pretty lcol area so I'm not quite that high but it would be easy to be that high somewhere else.

 

Household supplies sounds high, but I guess that depends on what all it includes. I think TP, toiletries, and cleaning supplies for that category and we don't even hit 100 a month for that but we keep it pretty simple. It would certainly be more if I included home repairs and maintenance, which can be zero some months and sky high another with being homeowners.

 

School sounds like a lot to me BUT I'm not paying for DE, which I know is lot more expensive than regular schooling. It also greatly depends on the options available. If the budget is really tight it seems like it might be good to consider if there are some classes you could do on your own.

 

Clothing seems like a lot, a whole, whole lot, with your oldest 2 the age they are there shouldn't be so much flex in size and if you are buying nice things they shouldn't wear out that fast. This IMO would be an easy category to cut back. Personally, I'd start the year with a spending moratorium and strive to go a minimum of 30 days, to determine what are wants and needs in this category.

 

Gifts sound reasonable considering all you are buying for, but I think you could also cut that a bit.

[Ann.without.an.e]

Hating the amount spent and it being perfectly reasonable are not mutually exclusive.   :lol:

 

The only one that may be a bit high is the non-grocery household items.  If you are including Rx/OTC meds, vitamins/supplements, makeup, and skin care products though, I can see where that would get high with teens in the house.  And why your DH might be a bit bewildered by it.

 

 

 

Lawdy, ain't that the truth  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:

 

 

I feel like non-grocery is so high as well and I have no idea why?  Meds are separate.  It does include skin care, makeup, my haircuts (I only go 2-3 times a year), office supplies (ink for the printer, paper, etc), soap, deodorant, etc, etc.  I have sensitive skin and I can't use cheap makeup but I don't buy it often.  I feel like we go through an ungodly amount of toilet paper and flushable wipes  :huh:   I buy the sams brand in the large pack but we seem to go through it so fast.  DS does have a chronic illness that involves the intestines and he uses a ton though.  I cut everyone's hair in our house and just pay for haircuts for me because DH isn't cutting my hair  :lol:

Edited December 30, 2017 by Attolia

[Ann.without.an.e]

We spend less in all categories, though gifts is really close.  There are 5 of us and we live in the midwest.

 

Clothes, we only budget $25 a month.  I only buy clothes in inexpensive manners like goodwill, resale shops, etc.  DH wears a uniform to work, and although he has to buy them, he doesn't have to buy them often.  Plus, they just take the $5 a shirt costs out of his paycheck, so we just budget for the paycheck to be lower those months.

 

 

 

I am a stickler for good shoes.  That is what kills me, I think.  We don't have a ton of shoes.  But the 2-3 pair we have each, are good quality.  I shop clearance and places like sierra trading post when there is a coupon but I usually can't get a good pair of shoes for under $75 each for 5 of us.  Younger is still young enough that I can get away with $30 but he is still growing so he goes through them faster.  

We really just don't have any good thrift stores here.  We have one goodwill that truly sucks.  They overprice everything and have very limited things.  I can go to a town about an hour away that has a great goodwill but I just can't seem to find the time to make it a priority.  I tend to shop kohls when I can stack coupons and get kohls cash.

Edited December 30, 2017 by Attolia

[OrganicJen]

I think it looks great and I wouldn't worry about it if I were you. The only category I could imagine shaving is gifts. This is a personal thing for each family though so no judgement at all, but we spend far less on gifts here. We don't exchange with extended family, so for us it's just each child who we spend on and it comes to about $100 per year per child.

[wintermom]

All I can say is that if your dc were involved in private music lessons, your budget would be MUCH bigger. My dh would be thrilled with your budget. ;)  

[HomeAgain]

I don't know if it's unreasonable or not.

 

For a while I kept a budget book - a ledger and month's worth of receipts in a folder.   I would go through at the end of the month and highlight the things we spent frivolously on (a candy bar at the check out, for example), and see how it added up.  But I knew where every penny was going.  It was how we figured out dh's coffee habits and ways around them.

 

I have no idea how those budget categories break down, but the numbers sound decent on paper.  We spend $800/mo on food for a family of 3 here because of prices and convenience (I get Blue Apron about 2x a month).  $1100 isn't unreasonable at all.

[Cosmos]

The only category that gives me pause is gifts.  But we are not huge gift-givers here, and we don't buy for extended family.  I'm only mentioning it because if your husband wants to cut spending, gifts for extended family could be a pretty easy place to start.  Or not, depending on family culture.  

 

I think it looks great and I wouldn't worry about it if I were you. The only category I could imagine shaving is gifts. This is a personal thing for each family though so no judgement at all, but we spend far less on gifts here. We don't exchange with extended family, so for us it's just each child who we spend on and it comes to about $100 per year per child.

 

Those of you who don't do gifts with extended family, do you mean you don't buy gifts for your parents and in-laws? Nothing for their birthdays or Christmas? No flowers or cards for Mother's/Father's Day?

 

As Jen said, no judgement. I just find it interesting to see how other families work.

[Julie Smith]

Lawdy, ain't that the truth  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:

 

 

I feel like non-grocery is so high as well and I have no idea why?  Meds are separate.  It does include skin care, makeup, my haircuts (I only go 2-3 times a year), office supplies (ink for the printer, paper, etc), soap, deodorant, etc, etc.  I have sensitive skin and I can't use cheap makeup but I don't buy it often.  I feel like we go through an ungodly amount of toilet paper and flushable wipes  :huh:   I buy the sams brand in the large pack but we seem to go through it so fast.  DS does have a chronic illness that involves the intestines and he uses a ton though.  I cut everyone's hair in our house and just pay for haircuts for me because DH isn't cutting my hair  :lol:

One think I do for my hair cuts (and I know this isn’t for everyone) is a place nearby gives free haircuts if you are donating at least 10 inches. This includes wash, cut, and style.

 

I do have to go at a specific time, but since I have a loose schedule I can do so.

[RootAnn]

$200/month for clothing for 6 of us (this includes shoes and I usually refuse to buy used or cheap brands because I value feet).

 

$250/month I budget for gifts.  That is 4 kids for birthday and Christmas.  A good bit of extended family that we buy for too for Christmas and some for Birthday too.  We do not usually by gifts for each other.  

 

$1100/month for food.  This is gluten free, dairy free which is painful sometimes.  We don't each much organic at all.  We limit meat to cheaper cuts.  I am picky about chicken though.  I buy the natural Springer Mountain farms chicken but I wait for it to be clearanced.

 

$250/month for general household.  Toilet paper, cleaning products, office supplies, etc, etc.  

 

Our food (for 8) is roughly what you have, but a lot of the stuff you include in general household is included in that number. Stamps, printer supplies, and anything extra is in a 'household' category which used to be $40/month but has doubled in the last couple of years. So, what you have for $1350/month, we have for just a bit less ($1100/month). We live in the midwest, are not GF/DF, and get our beef as a half steer every two years. So, I don't think this is an unreasonable number.

 

We have a lot less budgeted for clothes and gifts. But, we do a lot of hand-me-downs and we don't get gifts for extended family other than money for the nieces/nephews college accounts. YMMV.

 

My DH mostly gripes about our eat out budget. We basically can all go out to eat once a month plus a pizza night (for the family) or a date night (for the two of us). Eight people eating out adds up quickly!

[mommyoffive]

All of that seems crazy high to me. 

 

 

7 of us and our grocery store per month is 800 or less.  I don't do coupons or make things from scratch or any of that.  That is all of our meds, cleaning supplies, diapers, everything last thing.  Sometimes clothes too.  No diet restrictions.  We do eat organic and grassfed. 

This is all meals for 7 people.  No eating out at all. 

 

We spend 0 on gifts.  We only do Xmas gifts for the kids and mostly it is a trip. 

 

0 for school   I don't have DE.   Kids are in a charter

 

Clothing seems high too.  We buy a few things each year but not much.   Lots of clothes are gifts from family for the kids.  We buy high quality clothes for people so they can last a long time. 

We only buy good pair of shoes for all of us, but never pay 75 bucks.  Even when I buy dh's Cole Hann shoes brand new they are not that much.   Brand new shoes for the kids are all around $20 on sale.  I only buy good brand names for them too. 

 

We don't buy clothes monthly.  A lot less than that.  I may not need anything for few years.   Dh may need new things once a year or less.    He dresses in work professional clothing. 

 

Can your older kids work to pay for their clothes and shoes? 

Edited December 30, 2017 by mommyoffive

[RootAnn]

Those of you who don't do gifts with extended family, do you mean you don't buy gifts for your parents and in-laws? Nothing for their birthdays or Christmas? No flowers or cards for Mother's/Father's Day?

 

Nope. Only have my mother & DH's father left. On a rare occasion that my mother or his dad need something, we'll get it for them or chip in with other family members to do so. It isn't a yearly thing.

 

The only cards we send are thank you cards - and DD#2 makes them.

[KungFuPanda]

I’m the only dufus on these boards who has no idea what she spends in these categories! If you know you’re ahead of me. I hate to shop, so my policy on gifts is if we’re not spending that day together, I’m not buying gifts for people outside of my house. None of this shopping for every relative and shipping stuff across the country. Not exchanging gifts limits the amount of stuff coming into my house too, so that’s a big plus.

 

I do know that about $1000 a month goes to keeping Dd in college. Only three more semesters, but whose counting? Basically I just try not to buy it if we don’t absolutely need it.

[mommyoffive]

Those of you who don't do gifts with extended family, do you mean you don't buy gifts for your parents and in-laws? Nothing for their birthdays or Christmas? No flowers or cards for Mother's/Father's Day?

 

As Jen said, no judgement. I just find it interesting to see how other families work.

 

No gifts for adults period. 

[marbel]

Those of you who don't do gifts with extended family, do you mean you don't buy gifts for your parents and in-laws? Nothing for their birthdays or Christmas? No flowers or cards for Mother's/Father's Day?

 

As Jen said, no judgement. I just find it interesting to see how other families work.

 

Huh. Actually we do buy some gifts for extended family.  How did I forget that when I was posting?  But it is minimal and not for all so maybe that's what I was thinking about.

 

Probably $50 - 60 per year total on MIL and FIL.  Token gifts, really.  Christmas, birthdays. Cards for MD and FD.  We buy cheap cards or make them; I can't stand spending $3+ on a card that is likely to be thrown out.

 

Small Christmas gifts only for great-nieces and nephews.  Probably $10 each for 5 kids each year.  

 

My parents are dead, my siblings and I don't generally exchange, and I stopped giving to nieces and nephews when they graduated from high school. I do give wedding gifts!  

Edited December 30, 2017 by marbel

[Alessandra]

I'm curious. What categories does your dh *not* object to? Have you already cut down on those or is there some wiggle room? I would want to look at overall budget, not just a few categories.

 

My personal opinion -- and I know not everyone sees it this way -- is that food should not be the first item to cut. I don't need super fancy food, but good healthy food. I think your chicken is a fine choice.

 

I agree with you about getting good shoes too.

 

The gifts is the area that stands out to me. $3,000 a year is a lot, imo.

[Hilltopmom]

We used cloth TP for years (wet it and then wipe) instead of buying flushable wipes- gets just as clean as a bidet ;)

 

I agree on shoes. My feet hurt in cheaper shoes. I buy expensive and then put expensive insets in them too. Not worth it to be in pain if I can help it!

Edited December 30, 2017 by Hilltopmom

[OrganicJen]

Those of you who don't do gifts with extended family, do you mean you don't buy gifts for your parents and in-laws? Nothing for their birthdays or Christmas? No flowers or cards for Mother's/Father's Day?

 

As Jen said, no judgement. I just find it interesting to see how other families work.

In our famiy we are more about making or doing things than buying things, and really the only people who get purchased gifts are the kids. I guess we feel like it's weird to buy something the recipient (adult) could have just bought themselves. So gifts might be taking someone on a hike somewhere beautiful, making a birdhouse or bat house or something out of spare wood for someone's garden, using spare tile samples to make a mosaic decoration, a painting, a handmade item like woven towels, or doing something like painting a room a relative wanted painted or yard work they've been saying they need done, or reorganizing a garage etc. We stress giving of time and talent the most. With kids who can't really buy things for themselves we buy things though, like the toddler for Christmas got a set of Duplos, and he got some kind of latch board thing on his birthday, so we spent around $55 for his birthday and Christmas combined for items from a store.

[marbel]

Shoes are a killer here too.  The only comfortable pair of shoes I own right now cost $150.  I can walk forever in them and my feet never hurt anymore. My husband wears size 15 shoes so those are automatically more expensive. 

 

But I try not to buy super cheap shoes or used shoes (unless shoes were very lightly used). My mother was the most frugal/cheap person I have ever known and she would not buy used shoes.  But she also had bad feet!  So YMMV on that.  Worn shoes can cause back pain.  

 

Thrift stores clothing usually has a smell that can be hard to get out.  We use only perfume-free detergent and no softener or dryer sheets. I bought some jeans once that took multiple washings, airings, soakings in baking soda, vinegar, etc before I could stand to wear them.  Those jeans might have cost me more than a new pair would have!  Other fabrics might not hold scents as well as denim.  

[Bluegoat]

That's not too different from us, I think, except for gifts which we spend less on, and maybe clothes, though that varies year to year depending on snow clothes.

 

My dh had a hard time understanding a few elements of our budget until he had some occasion to do more grocery shopping - that was eye opening.  And when we went from paying the piano teacher weekly to monthly and he saw the cheques.

[regentrude]

$5,400 per year for school seems high to me. Are the DE classes things that will give transferable college credit towards any major?

Edited December 30, 2017 by regentrude

[scholastica]

There are 6 of us here and those are very similar to our numbers. Maybe even less than ours in some categories. They seem very reasonable to me.

[Crimson Wife]

Gifts seem crazy high to me. Do you seriously spend $3k a YEAR on them? :scared:

 

Even with 1 more kid than we have now, we wouldn't come anywhere close to that.

[JumpyTheFrog]

Gifts and clothing look really high to me.

[City Mouse]

It does sound high to me, but as long as you can afford it who cares.

Are there other things that your DH thinks the money should go for?

[Crimson Wife]

The area my DH complains about most is out-of-pocket medical. 2017 was particularly bad because our deductible & OOP max restarted in July with a job change. We had $11,976.50 in deductibles & co-pays through 12/18 and another I think $1100 in COBRA for the gap between when DH's previous employer coverage ended and his current one started. :(

[forty-two]

I budge $200/month for clothing for 6 of us (this includes shoes and I usually refuse to buy used or cheap brands because I value feet).

 

$250/month I budget for gifts.  That is 4 kids for birthday and Christmas.  A good bit of extended family that we buy for too for Christmas and some for Birthday too.  We do not usually by gifts for each other.  

 

$1100/month for food.  This is gluten free, dairy free which is painful sometimes.  We don't each much organic at all.  We limit meat to cheaper cuts.  I am picky about chicken though.  I buy the natural Springer Mountain farms chicken but I wait for it to be clearanced.

 

$250/month for general household.  Toilet paper, cleaning products, office supplies, etc, etc.  

 

$450/month for school.  Older two HS kiddos take DE at college and it is a great price but not super cheap, especially the textbooks and I can never seem to find them used.  I feel like this school rigs their textbooks so  you have to buy from them.  Youngest can still use most things hand me down.   He is still pretty cheap, haha.

 

So here....I open myself up to judgement.  Is this unreasonable?  

 

Family of 5 here.  Your food seems comparable to us - we are $900/mo for 5, with one GF kiddo.  But everything else is a lot higher than we spend.

 

Gifts-wise: $80/mo.  For Christmas we budget $50/person ($250), $100 for dh's family, $50 for my family (less people to buy for in mine), $120 for co-worker gifts, and and extra $30 for misc.  So $600 for Christmas gifts.  Then it's $50/person for birthday gifts and mother's/father's day ($350).  Rounding up for misc, that's $1000 for gifts each year, so about $80 or so per month.  We only do Christmas gifts for extended family.

 

Household is $50/mo.  No one uses make-up or expensive toiletries, and I cut everyone's hair.

 

Homeschooling is $50/mo, plus about $10/mo in Amazon points.  We could not pay for outside classes, and I buy nearly everything used, but it's enough to get most any book-based curricula I want.  School-related office supplies come out of this budget (about $100/yr).  This doesn't count dance lessons (paid by my mom) or piano lessons (paid by us).  Piano is another $72/mo, and might go up to $144/mo (adding in a second kid); dance is $160/mo for all three.  I don't consider dance/piano to be hs expenses, but extracurriculars - outside-school stuff I'd do no matter what schooling option we used.

 

Clothes: $50/mo.  We are really blessed here, in that people pass down clothes to my kids, and my mom buys them clothes for Christmas/birthday/Easter, including Christmas/Easter outfits.  The kids have more clothes than they know what to do with, without us having to spend anything.  Shoes-wise, we get our winter boots second-hand, but I pay for good sandals and closed-toe shoes for the kids - that's probably $300/year ($40 for sandals, $60 for sneakers).  I rarely need to replace my shoes - I have good ones, but they've lasted me a decade or more.  Dh is probably $100/yr on shoes (one new pair a year).  I rarely buy clothes for myself - get them for Christmas from my mom, as does dh.  He picks up a few things during a year - probably $100.  So we are $500-600/yr, so about $50/mo on clothes.

 

Edited December 30, 2017 by forty-two

[scholastica]

$5,400 per year for school seems high to me. Are the DE classes things that will give transferable college credit towards any major?

I have 4 and one year we spent $9000 on school. One of my dc is in online high school. Full time enrollment with books runs $3000-3500. Oldest was enrolled in de and and some online classes that year. The online AP class with books and exam cost $900. Dual enrollment here is not discounted. I will say that all of his credits from dual enrollment transferred. That AP exam credit got him 9 hours of credit in his major. So I look at all that as an investment. Those credits cost him a lot less than at his four year university. I’m happy when my budget is $5000 or less. I managed to keep it to $4500 this year and was elated. I’ll be so excited when my next in line is out of online high school. It was the right choice for her but we won’t be doing that for the younger two. So I can totally see that number as reasonable, as long as they are sticking to classes that will metriculate towards an Associates and/or transfer.

[sassenach]

Your gifts and household supplies budget is high to me.

 

Do you really spend that $200 on household supplies? Can you give me a rough idea of what that looks like? We have about the same grocery budget, but that includes our household supplies.

 

Gifts. Our gifts budget is less than half of yours. A big part of this is that we intentionally go very small and simple at Christmas. We also don’t do a ton of friend birthday parties, and when we do, the budget is $20. Dh and I don’t exchange birthday presents. The kids don’t get huge ones. We just aren’t high ticket presents people.

 

Your clothing budget is higher than ours, but not unreasonably so. Especially when you have kids growing out of stuff left and right. I accomplish a lot by thrifting or waiting for sales, but sometimes we just have to lay down money to catch up a wardrobe.

[Arcadia]

For clothing my husband shops last Friday and yesterday for clothes and shoes as his company gives them paid off days. He complains about clothes and shoes prices so he can spend his paid day off shopping and scrutinizing price tags as well as do price matching at the cashier. That’s how we end up paying less than $30 for each pair of Nike/Asics/Brooks shoes.

 

For gifts our budget is zero for everyone except our kids has a $20 budget per child for their birthday. We buy gifts for in-laws if my husband is lucky to have a bonus, my parents ask for no gifts as they rather we spend on our kids. My husband is a tightwad so he does his own shopping for his parents and siblings gifts. I would have spent more.

 

Education expenses my husband doesn’t complain because all the cheaper alternatives has not worked out so he has learn the hard way to either do without/put on back burner if it’s not urgent or just pay more for a core subject.

 

What does help us save some money is that everyone in his office spends their lunch time negotiating rates with Comcast (internet), AT&T (landline and cellphone), Aetna (insurance, over the billing). We managed to keep internet at $40/month with decent bandwidth, and gotten a few hundreds back from Aetna for things that could be covered partially by insurance.

 

We eat out once a week (Saturday lunch) due to schedules and our kids like Panda Express so we use their coupons to bring it down to $20 for four. If it was an unexpected eating out due to running late, we stick to the dollar menu at McDonald’s and Burger King, not healthy but a stop gap.

 

My family of origin has a tradition of giving cash gifts so that helps as we can use those to spend on kids’ wants.

 

My husband would look for the cheapest barber and spends no more than $12 including tips on a haircut. I cut my kids hair because they don’t like barbers. My kids cut their own fringe sometimes. I dye my hair when I feel like it with L’Oreal hair dye that cost $4 on sale and won’t need to dye again for at least three months.

 

:grouphug: on the pay cut. I find it easier to get my tightwad husband to do the shopping when he complains about costs. He finds hunting for bargains on weekends relaxing after his busy work week. I hope the pay cut ends up being much less than projected/expected.

[marbel]

Groceries and household items are difficult to compare.  I know people who consider everything they buy at a grocery-type store, including Walmart, as part of their grocery budget. So, personal care items, paper products, cleaning products, windshield wiper blades, would all be considered grocery budget.  Others have different categories for non-food items, and groceries is just actual food.  

[Moonhawk]

No judgement here, either. We are a family of 6, but two of mine are not really taking up a lot yet. So, our numbers are lower; and I think just out of necessity our numbers will continue to stay lower than what you describe. BUT, if I had the money, lol, I'm sure I could spend it without guilt, so it's more of a reality issue than a reasonability issue, kwim? 

 

Since your family is older than mine, I know that we're not comparable on food. We are around $850/month with a lot of organics. 

 

Clothing - not budgeted on a monthly basis. Adding up, probably $500-700 a regular year for everyone. We do not have extreme cold here, so I don't need to get heavy coats, I think that makes a big difference. For DH and me, every 4 years or so do a full wardrobe update to the tune of $700/person (Black Friday sales, clearances). 2016 was an update year for both of us. Neither of us need to be in an office setting anymore; when I was, though, it was probably an extra $200/year for us. 

 

Gifts - $50 tops for kid birthday months, $150 for parent birthdays (we do a family outing), $100-200 for Christmas depending on the theme. Easter a total of $50. For grandparents, cousins, birthday parties etc., we try to keep presents to $15, so maybe $100 on the year? = $850 for the year. (the one year we did a "real" birthday party with guests it was $200 for that kid, so I guess if you do parties this number goes up up up)

 

School - $300 a month, this is for odds and ends and music lessons. So I think you are doing great in this area, as I know this is just going to continue to go up.

 

"General household" is usually wrapped into groceries, but I would say $75 for that. Makeup is currently nonexistent though :\  

[AK_Mom4]

I would move toilet paper and wipes into your Medical Costs budget. Seriously - the last thing your guy with intestinal issues needs is to have his supplies cut off due to budgeting. Or to feel bad for using them.

 

Then look at what’s left in household supplies. Some things can’t be cut out (bleach, detergent) unless you want to go make your own (not cheaper to get good quality), but you may see things that can be trimmed once the TP is gone.

 

I would start giving more clothes as gifts since your kids are older. Then you can reduce one or the other category.

[Tess in the Burbs]

Those of you who don't do gifts with extended family, do you mean you don't buy gifts for your parents and in-laws? Nothing for their birthdays or Christmas? No flowers or cards for Mother's/Father's Day?

 

As Jen said, no judgement. I just find it interesting to see how other families work.

We only buy Christmas gifts for parents, grandparents at Christmas. Card for bday and mom/dad day. Stopped the aunts/cousins/other long ago.

 

We just don't spend a lot on gifts for others.

[freesia]

I am just going to be transparent here....I know that the response from you all will vary greatly because we are all from different walks of life, different incomes, different regions with different economies, etc. 

 

We have tracked spending in YNAB for years.  DH hates the amount we spend in gifts, clothing, household, school, and food. 

 

There are 6 of us.  

 

I budge $200/month for clothing for 6 of us (this includes shoes and I usually refuse to buy used or cheap brands because I value feet).

 

$250/month I budget for gifts.  That is 4 kids for birthday and Christmas.  A good bit of extended family that we buy for too for Christmas and some for Birthday too.  We do not usually by gifts for each other.  

 

$1100/month for food.  This is gluten free, dairy free which is painful sometimes.  We don't each much organic at all.  We limit meat to cheaper cuts.  I am picky about chicken though.  I buy the natural Springer Mountain farms chicken but I wait for it to be clearanced.

 

$250/month for general household.  Toilet paper, cleaning products, office supplies, etc, etc.  

 

$450/month for school.  Older two HS kiddos take DE at college and it is a great price but not super cheap, especially the textbooks and I can never seem to find them used.  I feel like this school rigs their textbooks so  you have to buy from them.  Youngest can still use most things hand me down.   He is still pretty cheap, haha.

 

So here....I open myself up to judgement.  Is this unreasonable?  

 

Ok, families are really different. So, I'll preface this by saying that ultimately this is between your dh and you and your shared values.  I guess the other question is why he wants to spend less (unless you mean he wants to spend more).  Do you have the money to support your budget or do you need to cut back?  Determining who is right isn't something we can do for you without knowing your total financial picture and goals.  (And, I haven't read the replies as I'm just hopping online for a few minutes).

 

For us (a family of 6 also), you spend a lot more.  Our kids are 8-17.I'll start with the similar areas

We spend about the same amount on food in a HCOL area--also have some special eating habits.  It would be tough for us to spend less.

 

We spent about$4000 this year on school which was about 1000 over budget.  We could do it for less, but had some reasons we chose not to and joined a co-op somewhat unexpectedly.

 

Our entire gift budget for the year is $500. That is all friend's parties, Christmas, b'day, my brothers, nephews, sil and mother.  We don't give gifts to dh's family--it's not their culture.  We keep friend's b'day gifts to 15-20 and family gifts are 20-30.  We don't do huge amounts/cost for Christmas/Birthdays but recognize that is our family culture and it's not bad to do it unless you don't have the money.

 

Our clothing budget is about $800 for the year.  I don't buy as high quality shoes as you do.  And we mostly just have sneakers and boots for the kids.  Other kids have a nice pair of shoes also. We use thrift stores for other clothes and fill in at regular stores.

 

Our general household is folded in with groceries or is reimbursed bc we live in a parsonage.

 

 

[EMS83]

Looks pretty reasonable to me!  Our food is a lot lower, but we're not anything-free nor buy organic, I cook from scratch, and there are few snack foods in the house.  AND I don't have teenagers!  So in about 6 years, we may well hit your grocery number.  Our clothing is $150/month for 5, so your number seems reasonable to me.  DH banned secondhand clothes, and I like good shoes that last (for all of us)--our number is actually darn good for that, if I say so myself.  That's $30ish/person/month for brand new everything--mostly for our ever-growing kids.  Gifts would probably be about the same as y'all.  That's DH's department--he likes to spoil people.  Christmas is usually close to $2k for everyone (kids, each other, parents, SIL).  Plus 5-10 birthdays each year (gifts for extended family vary each year).

[DawnM]

$5,400 per year for school seems high to me. Are the DE classes things that will give transferable college credit towards any major?

 

To me too.  My son did DE for over a year.  

 

He had to pay  $350 fee for the year for parking and security, etc....and those were even if he took online classes (where he didn't need security) and without a car to park anyway.  

 

And each class, since he was in computer labs, was $75 for lab fees.

 

Books might be $300/year.

 

So, roughly $1,000-$1,200 per year for all expenses, other than transportation.

[Jean in Newcastle]

No judgement, but I did blink at the gifts amount.   Two months worth of what you pay per month would cover us for the entire year. 

[DawnM]

I am just going to be transparent here....I know that the response from you all will vary greatly because we are all from different walks of life, different incomes, different regions with different economies, etc. 

 

We have tracked spending in YNAB for years.  DH hates the amount we spend in gifts, clothing, household, school, and food. 

 

There are 6 of us.  

 

I budge $200/month for clothing for 6 of us (this includes shoes and I usually refuse to buy used or cheap brands because I value feet).

 

$250/month I budget for gifts.  That is 4 kids for birthday and Christmas.  A good bit of extended family that we buy for too for Christmas and some for Birthday too.  We do not usually by gifts for each other.  

 

$1100/month for food.  This is gluten free, dairy free which is painful sometimes.  We don't each much organic at all.  We limit meat to cheaper cuts.  I am picky about chicken though.  I buy the natural Springer Mountain farms chicken but I wait for it to be clearanced.

 

$250/month for general household.  Toilet paper, cleaning products, office supplies, etc, etc.  

 

$450/month for school.  Older two HS kiddos take DE at college and it is a great price but not super cheap, especially the textbooks and I can never seem to find them used.  I feel like this school rigs their textbooks so  you have to buy from them.  Youngest can still use most things hand me down.   He is still pretty cheap, haha.

 

So here....I open myself up to judgement.  Is this unreasonable?  

 

Ok, so it is hard for me to really comment not knowing what you HAVE (and I am not asking you to reveal that amount), I mean, if your income is $300K per year and you live in a LCOL area, then these numbers are super cheap. But if you are looking for areas to cut, I can comment.

 

Shoes-do you allow your kids to hand down to their siblings or does every person need a new pair, or are they too worn out?  I would cut that one down, but you may not want to.  I buy good tennis shoes and hiking boots as those need to be better quality/sturdy/comfortable.   But I am fine with 2nd hand sandals, leather flip flops, dress shoes, as they aren't worn often enough to worry about FOR US.

 

Gifts- Hmmm.....I would try to cut that back to $175/mo and see what alternatives you can find for gift giving.

 

Food- That is really up to you.  When we were cutting our food budget, we found little ways, like using chicken instead of salmon, etc....We spend about that right now, but I am about to cut AND that number includes cleaning supplies, toiletries for us.

 

Cleaning Supplies- Whoah!  I can't imagine. What are you getting?  I think I spend that much per year.

 

School- I commented in the previous post about that.  I am curious if it really costs you that much?  What are the fees?  What is an average expenditure for textbooks for both kids per semester?

[sassenach]

For those of you wondering why her dh is examining the budget, the OP posted in another thread that they’re losing 20k of income next year.

 

In light of that, I think you should consider making major cuts to the gift and clothing budgets. Get cheaper shoes for a year.

[Cindy in FL.]

There are six of us in our household and your budget is very similar to ours. Our school costs are a lot higher with two in college, one in private school, and one taking 4 classes through the WTMA (which rocks in my opinion!).

[freesia]

For those of you wondering why her dh is examining the budget, the OP posted in another thread that they’re losing 20k of income next year.

 

In light of that, I think you should consider making major cuts to the gift and clothing budgets. Get cheaper shoes for a year.

 

Oh, thanks for this.

 

I agree.  Gifts and clothing would save a lot.

 

Also, I would evaluate the non-DE homeshool budget and cut back where possible as you can reuse things.  I do get bored and want new things for my littlest, but I'm realizing with college next year, she can just use what we have (with the exception of workbooks for math).   I was not very careful the past 2 years I think bc I knew that we would be facing college.  But, I know I can do it alot more cheaply bc I did for years.

 

[Lang Syne Boardie]

For us, if we really needed to tighten belts, these would all have to go (in no particular order):

 

Gifts.

School - either homeschool or public.

Household can probably be cut by 1/3 to 1/2.

 

Areas to reduce:

Clothing - Goodwill, yard sale, reduce expectations

Food - Gf can be a little cheaper, but it takes study and time - start a thread for tips if interested

 

I do NOT think any category is remotely unreasonable except Gifts. But if you ain't got it, you ain't got it.

 

Flushable wipes are so expensive, but if they are a need, I would call them pharmaceutical or medical, instead of categorizing with household.

Edited December 30, 2017 by Tibbie Dunbar

[wendyroo]

To me too.  My son did DE for over a year.  

 

He had to pay  $350 fee for the year for parking and security, etc....and those were even if he took online classes (where he didn't need security) and without a car to park anyway.  

 

And each class, since he was in computer labs, was $75 for lab fees.

 

Books might be $300/year.

 

So, roughly $1,000-$1,200 per year for all expenses, other than transportation.

 

I think this varies a lot based on state.  Where we live, homeschooled high schoolers who want to take college classes have to pay the regular tuition rate.  Even at our local (crappy) community college, that is $113 per contact hour, and many classes we may someday be interested in (foreign language, lab science, computer science) are 4 credit classes = $450 per class.  Plus a couple hundred dollars in fees, plus books, plus $300 for parking per semester, plus, plus, plus...

 

Wendy