Do you enjoy volunteering?

[gingersmom]

I've done various volunteer jobs over the past 25 years. Some were one time events, some long term.

 

I quit volunteering at one place after being there for over a year and never hearing the words thank you. I drove over an hour in a raging snowstorm to get to them and then heard a complaint I was late. Hello! I just risked my life to get here. I had no business driving in that storm but I stupidly did.

 

I have been volunteering at another place for 3 years. All the staff is about 6 months old except for head person.

 

I made a delivery for them last week, per instructions left a message that client did not answer at door. I have received so far 3 messages chiding me for not following instructions, how I must follow instructions, I said I left a message but they didn't get it, did I call the right number, you really have to know our number.....on and on and on.

 

I emailed them a screenshot of my phone showing number called, date, time and duration of message.

 

I think I may need a break from volunteering.

 

Am I crazy?

Edited August 15, 2017 by gingersmom

[marbel]

I have enjoyed volunteering.  Some organizations/groups are better to volunteer for than others.   Regarding the two you describe:

 

1.  I wouldn't expect to be thanked.  Are the people who would be thanking you also volunteers?  Not being thanked is not a show-stopper for me. However, no way would I have driven to a volunteer gig in a snowstorm unless someone's life or health were at stake on the other end.  

 

2. That sounds terrible; I would probably quit that gig.  

[Guest]

Volunteering is a thankless task quite often. But treating volunteers poorly is ridiculous. I'd take a break too.

[sarasue7272]

I've done various volunteer jobs over the past 25 years. Some were one time events, some long term.

 

I quit volunteering at one place after being there for over a year and never hearing the words thank you. I drove over an hour in a raging snowstorm to get to them and then heard a complaint I was late. Hello! I just risked my life to get here. I had no business driving in that storm but I stupidly did.

 

I have been volunteering at another place for 3 years. All the staff is about 6 months old except for head person.

 

I made a delivery for them last week, per instructions left a message that client did not answer at door. I have received so far 3 messages chiding me for not following instructions, how I must follow instructions, I said I left a message but they didn't get it, did I call the right number, you really have to know our number.....on and on and on.

 

I emailed them a screenshot of my phone showing number called, date, time and duration of message.

 

I think I may need a break from volunteering.

 

Am I crazy?

Ugh, one message I wouldn't mind, but three?? Are they all from the same person (who doesn't listen) or different people (who don't communicate amongst each other)?

[Guest]

No

[QueenCat]

I've enjoyed most of the volunteer activities that I've done. Some are one day events, others long term. My current favorite is manning the receptionist desk at the local birth to 3 center, where they help families with little ones with special needs. Cute kids, mostly nice parents, and a great staff. They include me (and the other volunteers) in their monthly staff luncheons, when they go out for drinks after work and all their work parties.

[Ravin]

My current volunteer gig is with a suicide hotline, so I wouldn't call it fun though it's rewarding. The staff take good care of the operators, though. Appreciation is definitely, well, appreciated. I can understand why you're getting burnt out.

[Bootsie]

i find volunteering, when it is something where I can use my talents and I feel like I am making a difference, rewarding.  I have also become more particular about what type of volunteering I do and for whom I do it.  I just received a request to "volunteer" my time giving my professional expertise to review materials for a for-profit company.  I have made it clear to them that that is not volunteering.  

[thessa516]

I have no expectation to be thanked for my time, so that wouldn't bother me. The chiding (and three messages of it!) would NOT fly for me. I'd let them know they need to find a new volunteer. I would gladly take my time and energy elsewhere.

 

[SparklyUnicorn]

I haven't done any volunteer work in awhile, but I did a lot in my teens and early 20s.  One job I enjoyed in particular was visiting older people in a nursing home. 

 

The chiding part would turn me off completely.  I mean what the heck... 

 

 

[Guest]

For a couple years in a row, our church did a big volunteer project weekend. No church services that weekend, just several hundred opportunities you could sign up for - individals, couples, families, etc. - and on that weekend, church was closed and we were out in the community, being "the hands and feet of Jesus." Man, I LOVED those particular volunteer experiences. It was astonishing how much we could accomplish in a dedicated group effort like that. One time, we painted at a food bank. Another time, we did renovations and clean up at a therapeutic horse farm. Wonderful experiences.

 

But our church doesn't do that any more. Or, they haven't in the past few years. They still have the individual charity work opportunities, but not in a big come-together-and-make-a-difference weekend. So,,sadly, no, I haven't done any of that type of volunteer work in the past few years.

[lllll]

nm

Edited September 6, 2017 by lllllll

[Jean in Newcastle]

All my volunteering is ministry related. I am not under anyone's direct supervision so there is no one person's approval to seek. Just like in homeschooling, I am setting my own goals and standards. I do feel appreciated by the people I serve. And I enjoy working as a team with others.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[happi duck]

I had a pastor once who would forget the plan and then yell at me for what I was doing...which was exactly what was planned.

 

My issues with panic started while attending that church. What a surprise.

 

Grr.

 

Other volunteering I have liked but not that place.

[Garga]

For a couple years in a row, our church did a big volunteer project weekend. No church services that weekend, just several hundred opportunities you could sign up for - individals, couples, families, etc. - and on that weekend, church was closed and we were out in the community, being "the hands and feet of Jesus." Man, I LOVED those particular volunteer experiences. It was astonishing how much we could accomplish in a dedicated group effort like that. One time, we painted at a food bank. Another time, we did renovations and clean up at a therapeutic horse farm. Wonderful experiences.

 

But our church doesn't do that any more. Or, they haven't in the past few years. They still have the individual charity work opportunities, but not in a big come-together-and-make-a-difference weekend. So,sadly, no, I haven't done any of that type of volunteer work in the past few years.

Back when I liked volunteering, I used to long for our church to do something like this: a few big projects that we all worked on, together.

 

But a few years ago I started getting burnt out on doing anything, so no kind of volunteering sparks my interest anymore. I think it's related to the fact that schooling takes a huge chunk of my energy right now.

 

So, asking me today if I like to volunteer, I'd say NO. But a few years ago, I'd have been ok with it.

 

Wait! I have been considering being a person who pets cats at shelters so they don't go feral. I could probably still be happy doing that. Because it's cats and not people. :D

[Jane in NC]

Professional volunteer here who is in the process of cutting back.  Identifying my skill sets and doing things aligned with them has made me a happier volunteer.  That said, I would not do anything for anyone who barks at me.  Nope.

[Petrichor]

I have enjoyed volunteering, but haven't done it in a couple of years (since around when DD was born and DS started "real homeschool").

 

I'm thinking about getting back into it, but the organization I'm looking into joining requires a (free - I think?) training followed by one year(weekly?) commitment. Still looking into it. 

 

I wouldn't (continue to) volunteer somewhere where my time and energy are disrespected by the organizers.

[Wheres Toto]

For a couple years in a row, our church did a big volunteer project weekend. No church services that weekend, just several hundred opportunities you could sign up for - individals, couples, families, etc. - and on that weekend, church was closed and we were out in the community, being "the hands and feet of Jesus." Man, I LOVED those particular volunteer experiences. It was astonishing how much we could accomplish in a dedicated group effort like that. One time, we painted at a food bank. Another time, we did renovations and clean up at a therapeutic horse farm. Wonderful experiences.

 

But our church doesn't do that any more. Or, they haven't in the past few years. They still have the individual charity work opportunities, but not in a big come-together-and-make-a-difference weekend. So,,sadly, no, I haven't done any of that type of volunteer work in the past few years.

 

The company I used to work for does this every year.   They have a variety of volunteer opportunities you can sign up for and everyone spends a work day out in the community helping out.

 

Most of the volunteering I've done has been things like 4-H, Girl Scouts, and docent at a local zoo.

[gingersmom]

Thanks for all your thoughts.

 

They replied to my email to once again reprimand me.

 

I am thisclose to quitting. I have one more day to decide.

[SKL]

I prefer one-off, hands-on volunteer gigs.  They come to feel like obligations and drudgery when they are more long-term.  And the thought of quitting makes one feel such guilt.  That said, I did quit a few volunteer gigs after I took custody of my kids.  They were keeping me up in the wee hours, and the folks would be annoyed that I had to consider my kids when it came to meeting availability etc.  I tried to hold up my end, but others couldn't be bothered to do the same.  I really should have quit earlier.

 

Of course it's important and I appreciate that some people manage to do it in the long term.  I feel the pressure to get back on board and do more for the scouts; I'll probably drop a hint that I'd like to be treasurer next year if the current treasurer is willing to hand that off.  (Right now I can only take gigs that I can do at home.)

[SKL]

I know you have to weigh the pros and cons, but if you do decide to quit, I predict that it will be a considerable weight off your mind.  It will give you a chance to recalibrate and find something that is more mutually rewarding.

[Tap]

My volunteering has all been in my children's schools.  I did love it and would do it again. I easily have 1000 hours of volunteering in schools. In fact one public school finally hired me to do the same thing I was doing as a volunteer.  There was so much that needed to be done, that they figured that they needed to hire an extra person to do it. LOL

 

Then I was a foster parent for dd10 before we finalized on her at 2yo. In a way,  I guess that is volunteer work because we don't get financial assistance like most foster parents did/do (she gets $200 a month child support and no other state/foster support).  I has been a long, hard road.  We definitely do not do it for us.  It is only for her, because if she ends up in the regular foster system, she will end up in Juvenile court system within a year (she is very violent and no foster home would keep her).

Edited August 16, 2017 by Tap

[Tap]

Thanks for all your thoughts.

 

They replied to my email to once again reprimand me.

 

I am thisclose to quitting. I have one more day to decide.

I wouldn't put up with being treated that way.  If sounds like you are not a good fit for what they want.  Time to move on.  I always say "I was looking for a job when I found this one, so I am no worse off if I leave!" LOL

 

 

 

I had to stop taking dd10 to a therapist once because the way he talked and what he said.....just didn't compute in my brain.  He has a good reputation as children's behavior therapist.....I a skilled at being a mom to a  patient LOL (dd10 has 500 therapy sessions).  But there was something about the two of us that didn't click.  We parted ways.  No hard feelings. Just a lot of silly miscommunications.  

 

Life is too short to have to try to figure out what someone wants, when it can be said quite simply in a few sentences.

[PrincessMommy]

I have no expectation to be thanked for my time, so that wouldn't bother me. The chiding (and three messages of it!) would NOT fly for me. I'd let them know they need to find a new volunteer. I would gladly take my time and energy elsewhere.

 

yup.. this.

 

I've volunteered in various places over the years.  Generally it's been a positive experience and NOTHING like what the OP has described.  I'd leave too... and I'd explain why.

[madteaparty]

Most of it, other than some overseas stuff, seems fairly pointless. I do it anyway. It would probably be more efficient for me to work and donate $, as philosopher Peter Singer says.

Edited August 16, 2017 by madteaparty

[wintermom]

Volunteers definitely need to be thanked and shown appreciation. Staff need this as well, but if you're not going to thank your volunteer staff and treat them well you're not going to keep any good ones for long, that's for sure. 

 

I've been a volunteer coordinator for years, and I treat my volunteers like gold. People are so busy these days, that if you have people willing to help and put in the effort, they should be appreciated. In many organizations, the amount of man-power put in by volunteers is amazing and our society would be much less rich in opportunities without it. 

 

Very sorry you are being treated poorly. Sounds like it's time to take your talent and time to a different, more appreciative organization.

Edited August 16, 2017 by wintermom

[Caclcoca]

I like to volunteer for the one and done jobs.  Ushering at a concert, timing at a swim meet, helping prepare music for band, etc. I do these things many times a year, but I don't feel guilty if I can't help this time. I would love to be a part of a Habitat for Humanity House, but I can't get time away from my kids.  They are not old enough to help yet.

[TechWife]

I have volunteered at church, in homeschool groups and at a hospital. They were all rewarding in different ways. As far as gratitude goes, at church and at the homeschool groups, I was occasionally but regularly singled out by leadership with a "thank you" and more often by parents or people I was directly working with. I never doubted I was appreciated and the environments were cooperative - working towards a common goal.  I am told "thank you for volunteering" or "thank you for helping" every single time I am at the hospital, often multiple times. Nurses, doctors, child life staff, unit secretaries, aides, just about everyone expresses their appreciation to me and to my fellow volunteers. My role as a volunteer there is to make their jobs easier, and apparently I am doing that. 

[mathnerd]

Currently on a break from volunteering because even if I am one of many who signed up to volunteer, when the day arrives, I am standing there trying to do all the other volunteer's jobs with just a couple of other volunteers who always show up. I am OK with volunteering for one person's contribution, but not to make up for a missing dozen. I will go back to volunteering again in the Fall, but, now, I need my summer break.

Edited August 16, 2017 by mathnerd

[Arcadia]

I am picky about volunteering after elementary school classmates kind of took me for granted kind of like an unpaid servant. I don't need thank you but I also do not want to be taken for a ride.

 

Most of my volunteer work is from word of mouth so the chance of a good fit for me is higher than just volunteering at whatever events need volunteers. I had been a volunteer tutor, Camp Rainbow (chronically ill) helper, Down syndrome activities helper. I was an adhoc volunteer for Girl Guides as I was a Girl Guide. Basically whatever I am keen to help in.

 

I did volunteer to chaperone for public kindergarten field trips when my oldest was in public K because my oldest is hard to keep track of so it is good for me to tag along and keep him with me. My oldest can be in an absent minded professor mode sometimes and oblivious to his classmates walking away to the field trip school bus.

[J-rap]

If it's a cause/project I support, then yes, I do.  Many projects in our small town really depend on volunteers.  They are often projects headed by volunteers, and run by volunteers.  These are projects that make a real difference in our community, and in people's lives.   

 

I don't necessarily expect a thank you either, especially for projects that are simply to help other people have better lives.

 

But I wouldn't last long if the group or the group leader treated me unkindly.

[Rosie_0801]

I like volunteering when I volunteer, because if I don't want to, I don't do it!

 

 

I certainly wouldn't volunteer somewhere they liked to use me as their whipping boy. I only put up with that kind of nonsense from people who have power over me.

 

 

[gingersmom]

I just quit.

 

It felt good standing up for me.

 

Taking a well deserved break and maybe in the Spring I shall explore other opportunities.

[Bluegoat]

I find it really depends on the job.  I suspect a good deal depends on how much you feel like you are really making a difference.  I might not care about being thanked but it can show that someone is finding your work helpful.

 

In the case with the delivery, I might not volunteer there any more, and I'd tell them why.

 

I do some volunteering at church which I mostly enjoy, I've done some neighbourhood things that I ran, and I did some political stuff last election which I found interesting.  But about a year and a half ago I did some Christmas stuff that kind of traumatized me, and I haven't managed to go back to that - it involved mother person doing something kind of inappropriate.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I just quit.

 

It felt good standing up for me.

 

Taking a well deserved break and maybe in the Spring I shall explore other opportunities.

Did you tell them why?

[gingersmom]

Did you tell them why?

No. After our emails back and forth I am sure they know why. I am also sure they don't really care..

[Bambam]

I've enjoyed most.

 

Some organizations never think of the volunteers except to order them to do more work. Some want to make you pay to volunteer (local museum, 4-H, etc). What is up with that? No, I'm not going to pay so I can volunteer here. 

 

Heads up to volunteer coordinators

  1. be nice to your volunteers

  2. say thank you sometimes. 

  3. be sure to provide them with water if the event is hot. Offers of breakfast and lunch are super nice too. Our local Chick-fil-A often provides free breakfast or lunch for volunteers for events.

  4. make it easy on your volunteers. Prepare things ahead of time. Make directions clear. Make responsibilities clear.

 

I'm sorry you've had bad experiences. I would tell them why I quit (email preferably and if it were a group-wide concern, I might CC the board). Keep looking! There are great organizations and people to work with!

 

[Xahm]

I assume you weren't delivering morphine or similar. If so, I fully understand them freaking out about delivery procedures. Otherwise, however, I think it's good you quit.

[gingersmom]

I assume you weren't delivering morphine or similar. If so, I fully understand them freaking out about delivery procedures. Otherwise, however, I think it's good you quit.

No controlled substances. It was chocolate pudding, fruit cup and similar stuff.

 

ETA: the client got their delivery. The whole reprimand stemmed around whether I called to let them know client was not home. I did call them and leave message as instructed.

Edited August 16, 2017 by gingersmom

[Audrey]

Thanks for all your thoughts.

 

They replied to my email to once again reprimand me.

 

I am thisclose to quitting. I have one more day to decide.

 

I don't think they are worth your valuable time and generosity. Not at all. 

 

I love volunteer work, but sometimes the people in the organization have a way of ruining it.  I don't volunteer for places/groups/organizations where I feel berated, misused or abused, or where I feel the intentions of the organization don't align with my ethics.  I have quit a few groups because of things like this.  No one needs to be abused whether you are paid for your work or not.

 

I do always tell them why I'm leaving (in as tactful a way as possible. Usually. Sometimes, I've been extremely blunt.  I think it's important for organizations to know the reasons behind why they are unable to attract or keep volunteers.  It's one of the biggest complaints that charities and volunteer organizations have -- can't keep or attract volunteers.  The irony is that, more often that not, the ones who have the hardest time attracting and keeping volunteers have only themselves and their own behaviour to blame.  They should know that. 

[Carol in Cal.]

I only volunteer to do things I enjoy.  But the reason I enjoy things is sometimes the actual work, sometimes the cameraderie with other likeminded people, sometimes the satisfaction of getting something important done, and sometimes the knowledge that someone is significantly helped in a way that I am uniquely able to do.

 

Yes, I enjoy being thanked for this, but that's not why I do it.  So I'm not really perturbed when I'm not thanked for it.  That's icing, but it's not the meal IYKWIM.  

[Guest]

Most of it, other than some overseas stuff, seems fairly pointless. I do it anyway. It would probably be more efficient for me to work and donate $, as philosopher Peter Singer says.

 

I think it depends a lot on both the work being done and what is being built.

 

When part of the goal is building community, then money really can't substitute... and when the work really needs folks who are passionate about the subject, money, again, can't fill that need.

 

When I table or canvass for a cause, I am not just giving my time and energy (which someone else could be paid to do), I am building relationships and bringing my personal passion and knowledge about the issue.

 

The only volunteer work I've done that I think could reasonably be replaced by paid employees was ushering for a local theater company... although, for us, the benefits of being part of supporting the organization meant a lot and we, honestly, didn't have the money to give, but did have the time.  I've been around while my (then) pre-teen kids did volunteer work that, yes, could have been done by an employee (if we'd had the money to offer), but part of the value was the kids having a chance to contribute to their community.  (My older girls volunteered at our JFS foodbank until they were old enough to be allowed to do more substantial work.)

 

...but all of my other volunteering has been as an activist and I don't think any of it could have been/could be replaced by a financial contribution.  (And all of the orgs I regularly work with want human participation far for than they want financial contributions.)   Perhaps this is less true for other volunteer work?

 

 

What other volunteer work do people do? 

[Bluegoat]

I think it depends a lot on both the work being done and what is being built.

 

When part of the goal is building community, then money really can't substitute... and when the work really needs folks who are passionate about the subject, money, again, can't fill that need.

 

When I table or canvass for a cause, I am not just giving my time and energy (which someone else could be paid to do), I am building relationships and bringing my personal passion and knowledge about the issue.

 

The only volunteer work I've done that I think could reasonably be replaced by paid employees was ushering for a local theater company... although, for us, the benefits of being part of supporting the organization meant a lot and we, honestly, didn't have the money to give, but did have the time.  I've been around while my (then) pre-teen kids did volunteer work that, yes, could have been done by an employee (if we'd had the money to offer), but part of the value was the kids having a chance to contribute to their community.  (My older girls volunteered at our JFS foodbank until they were old enough to be allowed to do more substantial work.)

 

...but all of my other volunteering has been as an activist and I don't think any of it could have been/could be replaced by a financial contribution.  (And all of the orgs I regularly work with want human participation far for than they want financial contributions.)   Perhaps this is less true for other volunteer work?

 

 

What other volunteer work do people do? 

 

I can't picture how giving money would really work with the things I do, either.  Is the idea that they just hire someone instead?  

 

I feel like a lot of those jobs wouldn't be enough to be a real job.

 

The other thing is, I don't know if I'm that keen on the idea that my relationship to acting in my community would be entirely about paying for things.  It seems a bit like saying that I should just hire a nanny rather than taking care of my kids.

[kewb]

No, I don't usually enjoy volunteering. In my experience it is usually thankless work and there is someone in charge who treats you like free labor and makes the experience miserable.

Quitting sounds like the right decision at this time.

Edited August 16, 2017 by kewb

[Guest]

Yes.  I love the volunteer work I do and have done.

 

I do things I find meaningful which use my gifts and passions... and I do them with amazing people.  I feel supported and challenged and useful.

 

I wouldn't stay in the situation you've described - no matter how valuable the cause, you are also a person who matters and who deserves to be treated with respect and to have your contributions valued.  (Though I wouldn't expect praise and gratitude, I do expect to be treated like a person who is valuable part of the larger effort.

 

...and an organization which cannot or does not treat its team with respect, is not an org I would want to work with.  I believe that *how* we do things matters as much as what we do, but I will spare you my soapbox on that...

 

 

[Guest]

I enjoy volunteering to do things I like to do (not just "to volunteer") but only when I get to DO THE JOB.  

 

When someone starts micro-managing me or saying that I had no right to make a decision without consulting a committee (and I'm talking about STUPID stuff--not the direction of the organization or anything, but just about procedures or something--and especially when I am paying for anything I do anyway!), I am done.   

 

I need ownership of *something*.  The last volunteer things I did, I loved, until the organization got a new administrator, who was a control freak and a micro-manager.  I couldn't get out of there fast enough.  But I did get out.  And they have had to start paying someone to do *some* of the stuff I did gladly for free for the previous administration.  Oh well.