Do you "feel" like an adult?

[MaryMak07]

I don't know why, but I often still don't feel like a "real grown up". That sounds so silly, but it's how I feel.

 

I'm 30 years old. I have 2 kids, 1 more on the way. We've bought a house. I homeschool our Ker. I don't know what else I'm waiting for, but I don't feel like an adult "yet".

 

Am I the only one?

[Guest]

I've felt like an adult since I was about 8. It's much better feeling that way now 😃.

[Tanaqui]

My mother confirmed for me once that she doesn't feel like one either. Good enough for me!

[Garga]

I think so.  Most of the time.  But I'm 44.  I think feeling like an adult didn't kick in until I turned 30.

 

I think of myself as a young-at-heart adult.  

 

Edited April 10, 2017 by Garga

[DawnM]

Yes, I have felt like an adult since I got out of college and started working and paying for everything myself.  I am 50, that was 28 years ago.

[Greta]

I'm 43 and I still don't feel like an adult.  And my daughter assures me that I'm an overgrown child.   :laugh:

[marbel]

I often feel like a little kid in a roomful of adults. Even when I am the oldest one in the room! And I am 61 years old.

[JustEm]

I'm 30 as well. I have 5 kids and feel like an adult sometimes but other times I dont

Edited April 10, 2017 by hjffkj

[KungFuPanda]

I feel like an adult, but I feel like a much younger adult than I actually am. I still think the 80s were twenty years ago.

[Pawz4me]

I've often been told that I was born an "old soul." But I never really felt like an adult until I was in my late 30's to early 40's. Even then I didn't feel like it all the time.

[Outdoorsy Type]

I felt like an adult by 17. In a lot of ways I feel younger now that I'm closer to 40.

[SKL]

I feel like an adult, but I don't feel as old as I am, at least mentally.  :P

[SKL]

I remember being around age 30 and talking to someone about "what I want to do when I grow up."  It was ridiculous since I had finished 2 graduate degrees 5 years earlier, had worked full time since then, was a homeowner, etc.  :P  Now I often think of what I'd like to do if I ever retire.  :P

[Joyofsixreboot]

I'm 54 and have 7 kids. Mostly don't feel like a grown up.

[Guest]

I've felt like an adult since I was about 8. It's much better feeling that way now 😃.

Me too! I couldn't wait to grow up and have bills and a house and responsibility. Seriously. I hated being a kid. And a teen- at least up until I got a license and a truck! But even in college- it was okay, but I just wanted to be done and be taken seriously. Edited April 10, 2017 by texasmom33

[MamaBearTeacher]

I started to feel like an adult at the age of 11.  Now I am almost 50 and I don't always feel like an adult, especially around other people.  The reasons I do not feel like an adult are all mostly superficial, like my hair, clothes, the music I like,  the way I am still learning every day, the way I am not set in my ways and the way I find many adults boring.  I know that people often perceive me as childlike or youthful in my mannerisms and some talk down to me which makes me feel less of an adult.  I think all kinds of things that come into play having special needs kids come into this for me somehow too.

 

I think we can "mean" many things when talk about feeling like an adult.

[fairfarmhand]

Nope. Still don't have a clue about what I am doing. Still feel like I'm faking.

 

 

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[Peaceseeker]

I think I turned into an adult at age 11. These days I am starting to feel practically ancient. And lots of things hurt now which doesn't help matters.

[mamaraby]

I feel like an adult, but I feel like a much younger adult than I actually am. I still think the 80s were twenty years ago.

Oh my, yes! I tend to assume everyone is older than me, but when age comes up, I'm usually surprised to find myself older than just about everyone in question. The other day I was reading a blog post and the writer talked about how something was 16 years ago and I had to go back and look at the year she was referencing because I thought for sure it couldn't be *that* long ago. Heh, totally was.

 

I just don't feel like I could be *that* old. Dh and I were talking wrinkles in half jest and I said something like, "Well you don't have anything like that!" and he points them out. Ermagerd! You're old, man! I just don't see him that way. He doesn't act that way. I don't feel that way. Sometimes I even catch myself looking for an adultier adult. *sigh*

[HSmomof2]

I don't know why, but I often still don't feel like a "real grown up". That sounds so silly, but it's how I feel.

 

 

I'm 30 years old. I have 2 kids, 1 more on the way. We've bought a house. I homeschool our Ker. I don't know what else I'm waiting for, but I don't feel like an adult "yet".

 

Am I the only one?

No, not really.....I also have always thought I'd 'feel' more like an adult. I do live like an adult though......I'm 44, been married for 23 years, own a house, had a career before kids, have teenagers now, homeschool and work part-time, etc. I guess I just always thought it'd feel different.....but, I guess not. 😊

 

ETA: I'm a first-born and taller than average.

Edited April 10, 2017 by Bethany Grace

[carriede]

Sometimes yes, sometimes no.

 

Recently, my 4 grown siblings and I (ages 38-20) were visiting my mom. She had a local meeting to attend while we were there and so would not be home for dinner one night.

 

It took us all a bit to realize we were now the grown ups in the house and to begin the dinner/cleaning process! And 2 of us have kids! It felt surreal.

 

 

 

I haven't felt it in a while, but I did used to get that "when is the real grown up coming?" feeling often. I still can't believe I'm in my (young) 30s, despite having 4 kids!

[AK_Mom4]

Most days I feel like an adult.

 

A young adult, since I'm only 50, but yes like an adult.

[Crimson Wife]

Once I became a mom at 25, I felt like an adult. I was always fairly responsible (babysat my siblings by age 9, for other families by 11, and working as a FT nanny for 4 young kids by 16), but it was totally different when I was totally responsible for a helpless infant.

 

I started feeling middle-aged at 35, due to the stress of having a child with special needs. :(

[The Girls' Mom]

I simultaneously feel like a clueless teen AND an elderly woman.  I'm 40.  I'm not sure I'll ever actually feel my age.

[porque]

I started feeling like a grown-up  when my 2nd child got braces. It just seemed like a really grown-up thing to do! I was probably in my mid to late 40's at the time.

 

Edited April 10, 2017 by porque

[MaryMak07]

Glad I'm not the only one!!

 

We have graduate degrees, had our first kid at 25, second at 27, bought a house at 27... I don't know what it is, just mostly a feeling thing. I keep wondering when feeling like an adult will kick in ;)

 

Kids needing braces might do it! That seems VERY grown up!

[Debbi in Texas]

Not really. I read one time that deep down we are still the little boy or girl we once was. I believe that in some ways.

[creekland]

I've felt like an adult since my parents divorced when I was 11.  I made plenty of my own decisions from that point on and got ruffled when I couldn't make those decisions.  I haven't changed how I've felt.

 

Occasionally someone tells me I should ACT like an adult, but I'm quite comfortable with how I live my life, so I don't plan on any changes.

 

Hubby and I are still figuring out what we want to do with our lives when we grow up (in about two years) though.   :lol:  We're getting closer on deciding our path, but like anyone deciding what they want to do, things can always change if we see something better.   

[swellmomma]

I don't feel like one until I am in a group of teenagers and then I am like "yup, definitely an adult".

 

I was always very mature for my age as a young kid and felt so grown up back then, but by the time I actually reached adulthood I felt like I just stopped there.  I had always imagined being grown up would feel different than this.  I will be turning 40 in June, I feel like I should feel more grown up by now lol

[AnnE-girl]

I feel like I'm just playing dress up sometimes. I'm 36, we've been married over a decade, have three kids, bought and sold our first house, and moved up to a nicer house. We go to occasional fancy work events for DH's job. That all seems like pretty grownup stuff. It doesn't help that I'm very short, and I look young. One of our new neighbors thought I was a teenager when I ran into her while I was walking my dog outside of our neighborhood a few months ago. She apologized for not realizing it was me when seeing me out of the usual context with my kids.

[maize]

Yes I feel like an adult.

 

It's the weight of responsibility. Sometimes I get tired of always being the adult...

Edited April 10, 2017 by maize

[Guest]

Nope.  I feel like the nanny perpetually waiting for the real parents to come home.  Even when I'm with my other mom friends, I feel like a pretender.

 

ETA I will be 36 in a few months.

Edited April 10, 2017 by WendyAndMilo

[Tap]

I feel old and worn out, past adult, and on the downhill part of life.

[laundrycrisis]

I am 47. No. I have always thought it may have something to do with being short. I also am not socially poised and confident. Anyone who is taller or more poised than me, which is most people, seems more adult than me. Unless the person is a jerk. Then they do not seem more adult than me.

[Mergath]

Nope. Not yet. I'm 33, so I still have some time, but I figured I would have felt like one by now, you know? And it's not like I've had a really easy life or anything. I've been in the Army, gone to college, worked horribly stressful jobs, and dealt with abuse, mental illness, and poverty caused by long-term unemployment. I still don't feel like an adult.

 

The other day I was talking to a guy in my book club about environmental issues, and I swear to god I said in all seriousness, "And the grown ups just don't get it, you know?" :lol:  The guy, who's in his mid-twenties, looked at me like I'm nuts. Mentally, I don't think I'll ever get past about sixteen. :P I still haven't figured out if that makes me a better or worse mother. Probably a little of both.

[Crimson Wife]

I don't think it's about height because I'm only 5'2".
 

If I had to speculate, my guess would be it's more of a birth order thing. DH and I are both oldest kids and we've always seemed much more mature at any given age compared to our younger siblings. We're the only ones in either family who married and had kids in our 20's.

[swellmomma]

I don't think it's about height because I'm only 5'2".

 

If I had to speculate, my guess would be it's more of a birth order thing. DH and I are both oldest kids and we've always seemed much more mature at any given age compared to our younger siblings. We're the only ones in either family who married and had kids in our 20's.

I'm the oldest, and have adult children (as opposed to my brother that has zero, and my sister that only has an 8 yr old), so I don't think birth order has to do with it.  Like I said up thread as a kid I was very mature for my age but sometimes I feel like I just reached my full maturity young and stalled out while I kept aging lol.  Or maybe it is my mind's way of helping me cope with all the responsibilities on my head.  Or maybe it is due to my career path, after all I get paid to play.

[rebcoola]

Nope 34 and still don't really feel grown up I think its cause I am always winging it.

[SeaConquest]

Nope. I am 42, but am still 16 in my mind. My body, alas, does not agree.

 

ETA: I am the first-born.

Edited April 10, 2017 by SeaConquest

[mamaraby]

I'm the first born, am not short, and always felt older as a kid/got along better with people older than me. I don't think birth order is the thing. Oh, and I got married in my early 20s and had my first kid in my mid 20s. So it's not that either.

[Rosie_0801]

I simultaneously feel like a clueless teen AND an elderly woman.  I'm 40.  I'm not sure I'll ever actually feel my age.

 

Yeah. I'm kind of like this too.

 

Generally speaking, I feel bloody ancient.

 

However, I'm writing a new chapter of my identity, so in that area I feel like I don't know anything and probably never will.

 

 

I can't really remember not feeling like an adult.

[Julie Smith]

I felt like an adult at a young age.

I'm the youngest of two kids.

 

When I was 18 I got engaged, moved in with my man, got life, health and disability insurance. Moved to another city, and a year and a half later started teaching college.

 

The two of us meet on January 31 and got engaged 2 months later, and moved to a different city 3 or so months later. The only comments I got from family who knew us was; "I'm glad Julie married someone to keep her young". My Dh is 8.5 years older.

 

Dh has done a great job keeping me young. :)

[Seasider]

I have felt like an adult for a long time. But it really hit home when I buried a parent and handled the sale of the family home. Gosh I didn't mean that to sound so somber, it's just that I felt like I hit the mark of adulting through the full cycle of life - birth of my kids through death of my parent. Somehow there's a completeness to that.

Edited April 10, 2017 by Seasider

[frogger]

There are days when I feel old as in my back hurts or my knee gives me grief but other than that no, I still feel like a kid. My son will technically be an adult this year but nope I still feel like a kid.

 

Edited for weird autocorrect issues.

Edited April 10, 2017 by frogger

[Guest]

Yes. I think it was more gradual than I thought it would be because I've been "not a minor" for a long time.

 

Ironically, the moment at which I knew I was an adult was when a kid was whining to his mom about wanting a box of Sugar Frosted Flakes and I bought them right under his astonished little nose. It gave me such pleasure to realize that with the responsibility, there also came sone benefits, and I never looked back.

 

The other thing that really sealed the deal was marrying a MAN. Not an Old Boy. I knew I had to grow up and be a Woman, not an Old Girl.

 

That said, I still have plenty of fun!!

[TechWife]

Yes, I most definitely feel like an adult. 

[LMD]

I don't feel like one until I am in a group of teenagers and then I am like "yup, definitely an adult".

 

TRUTH!

 

I may not feel like an adult, but <25 year olds are babies...

[Pawz4me]

I don't think it's about height because I'm only 5'2".

 

If I had to speculate, my guess would be it's more of a birth order thing. DH and I are both oldest kids and we've always seemed much more mature at any given age compared to our younger siblings. We're the only ones in either family who married and had kids in our 20's.

 

I don't think it's birth order. I have a brother who is 16 months old than me, but when we were younger and our parents were away I was always the one in charge. He wasn't irresponsible at all, but I was more responsible. I don't know if it had to do with the boy/girl thing or just personality. Shoot, from the time I was 12 or so I was totally taking care of our house--doing all the cleaning and laundry. At 16 when I got my license and a car I took over doing the grocery shopping, meal planning and most errands that didn't actually require one of my parents to handle. I've pretty much always been an adult. It just took me a very long time to really feel like one.

 

I have felt like an adult for a long time. But it really hit home when I buried a parent and handled the sale of the family home. Gosh I didn't mean that to sound so somber, it's just that I felt like I hit the mark of adulting through the full cycle of life - birth of my kids through death of my parent. Somehow there's a completeness to that.

 

Yes, this. My mother died four years ago, a couple of months after I turned 50 (my father died a few years before that). The 50th birthday hadn't made me feel any more like an adult than I did before, but her death did it. I've haven't felt like not-an-adult since then.

Edited April 10, 2017 by Pawz4me

[Carrie12345]

I turn 40 in a couple of weeks. I've been looking forward to being a "real" adult.  Many people have told me that's not going to happen.

 

 

[SparklyUnicorn]

Nope