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(Update to the update in post #65) Christmas for my husband: Time for my annual plea.


Jenny in Florida
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This year, for the first time in forever, I thought of and purchased a "big gift" for my husband relatively early in the season. (He's getting tickets to a Broadway touring production I know he wants to see.) So, I was relaxing, confident that the little stuff would take care of itself when inspiration hit.

 

Except that now we're just a couple of weeks out and inspiration is nowhere to be found.

 

I'll include some more info below for those who would like background, but up here I'll just stipulate that my husband is notoriously difficult to find gifts for; so instead of laying it all out and asking for help that way, I thought I would just ask what you all are doing for your spouses in hopes that reading your lists might spark something for me?

 

Thanks!

 

 

 

 

 

Background for Those Who Are Interested:

 

Typically, despite my best efforts to scale back over the years, we tend to put a few (maybe two or three) small things under the tree for each other in addition to one "big" present. 

 

We also stuff stockings with items that relate at least tangentially to some silly "theme" and which must include a pair of novelty socks that match the theme. (For example, in the past I've done stocking themes for him focused on specific characters or shows/movies/books, as well as more general things like juggling, puzzles, etc.)

 

For those who have been fortunate enough not to have read or participated in my annual whining about this isssue, the quick version is that my husband is nearly impossible to shop for: He has few hobbies and none that offer gifting opportunities. (He does play D&D and other RPGs with a group of friends more or less weekly, but he's been playing for so many years that he has boxes and boxes of stuff, most of which is never used.)

 

He does not:

  • Grill or barbeque (or eat meat, actually)
  • Fix cars
  • Do anything involving tools
  • Do yard work
  • Drink beer (or much alcohol at all, now that he's on medication)
  • Watch or play sports
  • Have much interest in tech gadgets

So, you can see that most of the usual "gifts for your man" ideas aren't helpful.

 

 

 

Edited by Jenny in Florida
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Comic books. Like zits or Calvin and Hobbes. Also fox trot. What does he do for a living? That might help us get a better idea of his personality.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

He does IT for a rather huge entertainment company based on Orlando.

 

However, it's just kind of what he does; it's not a passion.

 

He doesn't read or follow any comics. When he does read, it is usually something classic (think public domain) from Project Guttenberg or a similar site read in small bits on his phone while waiting for a meeting.

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I'm giving dh a Microsoft Arc touch mouse.  They have a couple of styles.  https://www.microsoft.com/accessories/en-us/mice

 

Also, I got a good deal on a new watch for him on Amazon.  Lots of options here: https://www.amazon.com/b/ref=af_watch_fall1?ie=UTF8&node=15563158011&lo=fashion&pf_rd_r=V78485EEK3N9ST5GP113&pf_rd_p=bb76790b-94f9-4306-a752-378bc0b62ccd

 

 

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Nobody here reads or follows any comics either but those are hilarious ways to pass the time. Let's see...would he like a classic book? Barnes and nobles has some lovely versions of classics in a gorgeous hardbound binding.

 

What about a pocket knife? Even for non tool guys they're handy.

 

DVD of it crowd? That's a hilarious series. Lots of nerdy humor.

 

Framed photos of you and the kids?

 

Demotivators posters?

 

 

 

 

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My DH is getting: 

 

2 different TeeTurtle t-shirts -- this is a tee company that makes shirts that tribute/give nod to various pop culture references (popular movies, super heroes, games, etc.); ThinkGeek and Snorg are 2 other companies with various similarly themed shirts and other items that could be fun, if he's the sort who will wear a t-shirt with a character on it. ThinkGeek has a lot larger variety of themes, and probably has some D&D themed shirts, items, etc. that might at least be good for the stocking. 

 

A grill thing that makes it easy to clean and keeps things from falling through the cracks

 

A painting I commissioned from a friend, to represent something about us (although it's delayed until his bday)

 

A few photos, blown up, to hang in his office (this is by request, and actually, I had forgotten....so glad you asked!!)

 

Other ideas: 

a calendar w/the kids, for his office at work

a "joke a day" calendar in whatever theme he likes, for his office  (see if you can find a D&D one, for ex)

favorite coffee or tea? snack food? something he likes, but doesn't eat often? 

board game to play with the family/card game to play with the family

movies 

 

 

 

 

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Does the Broadway production have something in it that could spin off the sock theme?

 

Restaurant GC for before/after the show

 

Upgrade something he uses all the time or something that needs replacing? Razor, toiletries, coffee mug? I'm going to order DH a new hoodie and t-shirt to try from that American company whose name is escaping me. Underpants. Phone case or charger or external charger. Exciting things.

 

Coffee, tea, fancy snacks?

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Oh yeah, I can relate.  My husband is notoriously difficult when it comes to gift buying ideas.  He loves golf and fitness, but already has everything he needs in those departments.  He reads a lot, but whenever he wants a book, he just gets it on his kindle right away.  He's not at all interested in clothes, he doesn't like gadgets or shaving stuff or any of the usual gifty things, he has every single tool he could ever need...so I am seriously stumped every time Christmas or his birthday rolls around!

 

However, one thing I can always count on him enjoying is good food - so my plan is to go through the Harry and David catalog and order him a fancy dessert, some cheeses, and some snacky items.

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Well, mine's getting handknit socks and a chainsaw ... and he's buying the chainsaw himself. And I know your dh doesn't like picking out his own gifts, so I'm no help. :tongue_smilie:

 

Would he go for a massage? Or maybe you two could go together on a mini spa vacation type thing?

 

Electric toothbrush (if he doesn't already have one)? That's what ds1 wants.

 

Selection of locally roasted coffee?

 

Hydroflask? (on ds2's list)

 

A new hoodie? (all my people want this)

 

Good luck!

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Emergency kit for his car, with medical stuff in it?

Lifestraw?

Think Geek has great stuff--I've gotten my husband their Pi tshirts before, and they have lots of nerdy desk stuff.  Their website is like the super coolest science museum gift shop EVER.  I bought my Halloween costumes there this year, and DD is getting a Patronus lamp that says 'Always' on it from there, too.

 

I'm getting mine a worry stone so he can stop rubbing folds in paper and such (he is fidgety and doesn't realize how loud that is), and fleece lined jeans from LLBean, and a book on cooking meat over an open fire.  He wants a Moultry game camera, but I told him to buy that for himself--I know I will get the wrong one if I do it.  He won't send me a link.  

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Red velvet flavored Peeps from A.C. Moore

Jelly Belly flavored candy canes from WalMart

 

A punmap from punmap.com (he likes puns and maps)

A frame for the punmap from Craig Frames on amazon

 

That's all I bought him. He has some more money in his Christmas fund if he wants to give me pointers on how to spend it. Some things he's considered:

 

A weather station (he loves weather stuff). This is a piece of electronics that you put outside and tells you things like humidity levels and temperature.

 

Doctor Who episodes--the old black and white ones up until now.

 

 

 

I usually make him tell me what he wants. This map thing is unusual. I rarely buy him stuff that he hasn't asked for as he just doesn't want anything.

 

Oh--one year I bought him a hammock and frame. He loves that for the summer. Actually, when I bought it, we had only been married for a year and lived in an apartment, so we set the hammock up in the livingroom and sat in it all the time.

 

For the hammock idea, a few years ago I bought him a hammock chair from the Renaissance Festival. We have a beam in one room that we could use to hoist up the chair. He loves that chair. You can drill it into a stud (?) in your ceiling, too, if you don't have beams.

 

 

On another thread I told someone what I'm doing for myself. I don't need anything or really want much of anything, so this year I'm using my Christmas budget money to replace things I already have with better ones. I'm replacing my slippers with some really nice ones, I'm replacing my robe with a robe that has a zipper (and a hood!), I got myself some fun soap for the shower instead of the boring old Ivory I usually use. Maybe you could just upgrade some of the things he has to nicer versions.

Edited by Garga
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My son is like my dh, and here are some of the sorts of things I got my son. They are not necessary and are just for fun:

 

A bubble wrap calendar. Every day you pop one of the bubbles.

Tshirts from snorg tees.

A daily calendar with a comic on every day.

 

 

ETA: I posted before reading the replies. My ideas have mostly already been said, but at least you'll know there are lots of men out there getting Snorg tees and comic calendars!

Edited by Garga
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For expensive gifts, whether it is for a spouse or DC, I suggest buying something the recipient wants or needs. Best to ask them. We do not usually buy expensive gifts, but for her birthday, this year, my wife told us what she wanted and it was (for us) very expensive. Never, in a million years, would I have thought about buying that for her. There was no surprise, but we have a recipient who is happy with what she got.

 

ETA; For her 15th birthday, which is *the* birthday for girls in Latin America, my DD did not want a party. She wanted to go to Orlando FL USA.  We put the $ that would have gone into a party for her, into the trip to Orlando, which we made when she was 15 1/2.   She is happy and wants to go back to Orlando ASAP.

Edited by Lanny
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I decided to get dh a good day pack that is a backpacking style pack that he can carry while we are out running around on foot for the day.  They hopefully aren't nearly as likely to give him a back ache.

 

Eta: I had considered getting a babysitter for dd and renting a hotel room on the beach for a night...thinking about wine, chocolate covered strawberries etc., but I just wasn't sure that the timing would work out so that idea is on the back burner for another time.

Edited by Mama Geek
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My DH does not do any of the "usual man things" you list. Small gifts I have given that have been well received:

 

favorite tea (some years, we gave each other tea and ended up with an abundance)

books

accessories for his hobbies

clothes

DVD with new episodes of a show we watch together (even though we usually use netflix; DVD is out before it's on netflix)

guidebooks and maps for any destinations where he travels on business, where we plan to travel to the following year, or where I think we should travel

favorite chocolate

home made candy

 

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DH is getting a Yeti tumbler, a DVD of the movie Westworld, a DVD of the movie Futureworld, and DVD of the 1980 tv show that spun off from those. He watches the reboot series on HBO.

 

He also got a larger monitor, but he ordered that himself.

 

Funny thing--every time we drive through Orlando on the way to the beach I think of you. I feel like I should send you a Christmas card as I have loved reading about your kids forever.

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DH is getting (in his stocking) a travel tea mug that can store extra loose tea, a stash of ear buds for travel, a brass pocket compass, reusable hand warmers, a book (Slow Regard of Silent Things by Rothfuss for the curious), and a scratch off travel map. In case it's not clear, his work travel has picked up lately.

 

Food stuffs include a few samples of popcorn for popping and some local honey.

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He does not:

  • Grill or barbeque (or eat meat, actually)
  • Fix cars
  • Do anything involving tools
  • Do yard work
  • Drink beer (or much alcohol at all, now that he's on medication)
  • Watch or play sports
  • Have much interest in tech gadgets

So, you can see that most of the usual "gifts for your man" ideas aren't helpful.

Hmmm... my dh DOES grill, fix cars, do anything involving tools, do yardwork, and has much interest in tech gadgets, BUT it doesn't make it any easier to choose presents for him... especially stocking stuffers... I'm going to read this thread and hope for some ideas, myself!

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I'm getting my dh a fitbit (he knows about this, because he snoops).  And a pair of tickets to go see Alan Jackson in January.  We haven't seen live music really since we had kids, and we miss it.  It comes up in conversation frequently.  This is a splurge because we hardly ever get a babysitter.  So a huge present really to get one until the wee hours of the morning.

 

We are pretty practical at Christmas and stockings.  I take the occasion to buy new socks and underwear, new toiletries, perhaps an upgrade of something small (a better flashlight for next to the bed, a new keychain, an airline bottle of a good scotch, etc).

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Does he play any table top games like Warhammar?  DS just ordered himself a game mat for the table to play on.   It is one of my presents to him, but I wanted to make sure he got exactly the one he wanted.  It is a very thick vinyl and rolls up for storage (comes rolled up, in a card board box).  I also ordered him a plastic  tube to carry it in from Amazon, but he doesn't know that yet. 

 

Gamematz I think ds ordered the Barren Wasteland in a 4x6 size.  (he has a set up that makes a 4x6 table-so this will go on top).   We know someone else who has one that is simpler that he uses for different games. 

 

 

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Thanks, all.

 

Reading over the suggestions always reminds me of exactly why I have so much trouble with shopping for him.

  • He does not like to be asked what he wants. We don't make lists, because he believes a gift should be a suprise.
  • He does not like practical gifts (no clothing or anything like that).
  • The one exception to the no clothing rule is for things like silly/nerdy t-shirts; however, he has literally stacks of those already and just got a few more that our daughter picked up for him at NY ComicCon.
  • He does not drink coffee and, while he does drink tea now and then, he has cut back since being diagnosed with high blood pressure and needing to reduce caffiene intake. He also doesn't have expensive or exotic taste in teas, so it's hard to buy anything special or gift-worthy.
  • In general, although he enjoys some geeky things, he's not a particularly enthusiastic "fan" of anything in particular.
  • Similarly, he enjoys food, but has no particular favorites.
  • When he does want something, if we can afford it, he usually just buys it for himself. (Example: After re-connecting with some cousins he hadn't seen in a few decades, he got interested in scanning and organizing several boxes of slides with family photos on them. This was two weeks ago. Within two days, he had researched scanners, chosen the one he wanted and ordered it from Amazon. I didn't know he was doing it until the box was delivered.)
  • He does not like seeing money spent on things like earbuds, which he firmly believes should be cheap. 
  • He has a bad back, which is getting more problematic as he ages; so we have to be selective about physical activities.
  • He has also recently been diagnosed with anxiety, which explains a lot; so things involving crowds and certain other stressors don't make for good gifts.
  • We are already drowning in stuff. One wall of the master bedroom is lined with boxes we haven't bothered to unpack since moving into this house over a year ago. I have finally convinced him that it's not a good idea to add more stuff to the pile just in the name of putting something under the tree. So, I strongly prefer to focus on consumables.
I'm enjoying reading your lists, though, and have gleaned a couple of ideas. Please keep 'em coming!
Edited by Jenny in Florida
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Here is a website with fancy dice

 

https://www.artisandice.com/

 

Now, you might look at the first page and freak out but the wooden dice are not as expensive.

 

This place has fancy wooden dice boxes

 

https://wyrmwoodgaming.com/product-category/products/dice-vaults/

 

They also have dice towers and dice trays for rolling.

 

These mats are always useful

 

https://www.amazon.com/Chessex-Role-Playing-Play-Mat/dp/B0015IQO2O

 

This place has very nice terrain tiles

 

https://shop.dwarvenforge.com/collections/city-builder-unpainted

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I have not done any shopping for my dh, so this thread is helpful. I am considering a few things (that probably all break your rules) I will do one larger gift and a few small things:

 

New running shoes and a couple pairs of socks. His are in terrible shape, but there's a fairly good chance he will buy his own shoes in the next few days, as he has his annual pt test next week.

 

Slippers. Our house is cold...

 

Landjaeger jerky. He likes it and I can order it on Amazon.

 

A case for his phone. His is falling apart.

 

Something hunting related (hard to buy since he just busy what he needs whenever he feels like it, ie, last week he bought a very nice pair of snowshoes as we had deep snow in the mountains and he was elk hunting)

 

Something crazy: a banjo. I need to check out local pawn shops. We love musical instruments, and he plays the guitar and uke and has enjoyed playing my dad's banjo in the past.

 

Another big maybe gift: a Bosch mixer. He learned how to bake sourdough bread two years ago. He makes a fabulous loaf! We very carefully kept his starter alive during a crazy summer of moving. But his heavy dough broke my kitchenaid mixer. It would be a gift for him but more for me, though.

 

Looks like I have 3 big gift ideas to choose from. That's pretty good for me, I usually have no good ideas!! Good luck with your shopping! It is so hard to get it just right!!

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DH is getting is getting a pair of handknit socks and the Deadpool DVD for Christmas, so not much help there. But it is traditional in our family to get a chocolate orange in the toe of our Christmas stockings. 

 

What about nerdy socks? If he's overflowing on tshirts, I be there's lots of fun socks out there. 

 

One year for Christmas I bought DH a Senseo coffee maker, and the promise to make him coffee every morning for a year. (Not much help since you husband doesn't drink tea or coffee,  but thought I'd mention it in case it sparks anything.)

 

As someone who's had anxiety (and depression) for many years, I must say that one of the best things I did for it was to start meditating, using the Headspace app. Maybe a few months trial of something like that? It's quick (starts at 10 minutes), easy, and no "woo" involved. 

 

For his bad back - maybe one of those lumbar support pillows for his chair at work? Or a fancy heating pad? Or a gift certificate for a massage?

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Here is what I am getting my DH:

sleeping pad for camping

stainless steel chain to wear his wedding ring

favorite bottle of tequila

hand knit socks

a couple of his favorite treats- chocolate covered espresso beans and reese's peanut butter trees

I may purchase movie tickets to put in his stocking too.

 

DH is not always easy to buy for because most of his hobbies are expensive (our Christmas budget is $100 each) or he has very specific requirements.  Even my gift of a sleeping pad this year may go over iffy, but my saving grace is that he hasn't done any research about them yet so he isn't sure what he wants.  Food is a big hit with him so I try to make sure Christmas breakfast and dinner are something he really loves.  Gifts truly aren't that important to my DH.  Spending time together and enjoying that time (along with food) are the most important things to him so I try to have an outing or two planned during his Christmas vacation.

 

I hope this thread gives you some inspiration.  It's really hard gift giving for some people.  :)

 

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