Leashes/Tethers - a poll

[MrsRobinson]

I voted 5-10 years ago. Dd was a runner and extremely social. Everyone was her best friend. So at 2 & 3, when Mommy's very upset that she darted ahead to the horse stables at the animal sanctuary, she didn't understand why. No matter how clear our explanation of safety was. It just did not compute for her. So monkey backpack harness it was!

 

Ds (4) is a climber and always has been and hates holding hands but he likes sticking close by us. I almost always feel his hands or shoulder brushing against my legs while we are out. Never had to use it for him.

 

He still goes in the stroller at almost 5 on long days because when he gets overly tired, forget it. Nuclear meltdown. Ruin everyone else's fun. He's small for his age and has to take twice as many steps as others for his short legs to keep up so we give him a pass, let him ride in the stroller when he needs to and we all enjoy the day.

[BigMamaBird]

I have never used one but I have no problem with them.

[BarbecueMom]

Ugh, we had one of those monkey backpacks. Kids loved it, I hated it, because furry stuffed animal leash was the last thing I wanted in my hands during hot weather.

 

It was mostly fought over as a toy until it *ahem* mysteriously disappeared. No judgement on anyone using one or not.

[Farrar]

They made me uncomfortable. I don't think I could have ever used them. But as my kids got older and I experienced a lot of kids, I came to be very non-judgey about them. Whatever works. Well, I did know of someone who used one on a first grader who was NT. That was hard for me not to judge, I admit.

 

I always think it's so hard to know which comes first - the chicken or the  egg in this case. At one point, I knew two families with littles the same age. One little was always restrained. Her mom was like, she can never, ever be let loose because she'll run. The other was always let loose. She wasn't perfect, but she stuck with the crowd of siblings and friends very well. How much of it was the parenting style and how much was innate to the kid? So impossible to know.

 

The leash does seem to be waning in popularity, but it's hard to say for sure. The stroller is always popular. Like a couple of others here, we also ditched ours really young. I make my poor preschoolers go on forced city marches many times just to get out of bringing a stroller.

[SparklyUnicorn]

I think it's kinda crazy to bat a lash in certain situations.  For example, in a parking lot, or very busy place like an airport.  That seems understandable to me.  It would be odd if someone tethered their kid to a park bench at the playground.  I have never seen anyone do that though.

 

 

[3 ladybugs]

True.  You know, my youngest is nearly 11 and I've already forgotten these details. 

 

LOL

No problem! I always remember my older child being a complete angel at this age. I am sure he wasn't but it always feels worse when you are in it. Then after it passes you forget. My oldest is 7. 

[3 ladybugs]

I think it's kinda crazy to bat a lash in certain situations.  For example, in a parking lot, or very busy place like an airport.  That seems understandable to me.  It would be odd if someone tethered their kid to a park bench at the playground.  I have never seen anyone do that though.

I have tethered my kid to ground like one of those ground stakes that dogs go on. He had a long leash but it stopped him well shy of the street.  We were in the front yard doing work. Kid wanted to play and no fence. I thought it was one of the safest options. Much better then turning on a video! It felt REALLY weird doing it, but it was likely the best option to get what needed to be done, done. 

[Closeacademy]

My oldest would wander off so I leashed her until she was almost 5.  Both children were on leashes at Disney World when they were not in their stroller.  My kids are teens now so it's been a while but I still recommend them.  And it seems to be a family thing.  I know my uncle wore one back in the late 30s early 40s when he was a toddler/preschool age.

[73349]

I will say that as a limited-stroller-user, I did not have to care a bit if my child declared himself tired to keep walking. "Oh, sit down over here [a step off the path] for a few minutes and rest," I'd tell him. And I'd just stand there by him until he was bored enough to get up. :) But some people do have to keep to a schedule (getting to work, etc.), and that may influence their choice.

 

If push came to shove, I could carry him until he was 5, because he wasn't that big and I wasn't pregnant or carrying another kid or anything.

 

He picked his harness out, too. When he was ~13 months, I took him into Target and was just looking at the animal ones, thinking about whether it was a good idea or not, and he reached out toward one. "Oh, would you like to hold that?" Yes, he would! I handed to him, and he kissed the puppy on the nose. So I knew he wasn't going to mind it--plus my diaper bag was a backpack, so I'd wear a green backpack and he'd wear the puppy one. I don't think he ever got a sense that he was being restrained.

[Renthead Mommy]

I nannied 19 kids total, then had my toddler nephew live with us, then had mine.  I never needed a leash.  HOWEVER  if any of them had needed it, I would have used it in a heartbeat.  

 

Not every kid is wearable, especially when you have multiples. 

Not every kid likes to hold hands.  Not their adult, not their sibling, not their 'buddy'. (until you are home, the ac is off and it's a thousand degrees inside.  Then they want to slide right up to you!  What is up with that!)

Some kids get a big kick out of 'make parents run' or 'scare your parents' game. 

 

I did have a long crochetted rope that had handle loops off the sides I made.  Sometimes we used that.  Everyone got a loop, no one had to touch anyone else.  So no one had somebody else's sweaty hand on them, or caught any one else's cooties. 

 

Pre K 2 was to take a field trip to the post office down the street once.  I showed up with that thing and all the teachers were "That is an awesome idea!   We need one of those!"  I ended up making a few for the school. 

 

It's not about confining you kid, demeaning them, treating them like a pet.  It's about keeping them safe.  And keeping Mom sane sometimes as well...

[Tita Gidge]

. 

I did have a long crochetted rope that had handle loops off the sides I made.  Sometimes we used that.  Everyone got a loop, no one had to touch anyone else.  So no one had somebody else's sweaty hand on them, or caught any one else's cooties. 

 

Pre K 2 was to take a field trip to the post office down the street once.  I showed up with that thing and all the teachers were "That is an awesome idea!   We need one of those!"  I ended up making a few for the school. 

 

I saw something like that at a museum once and thought it was brilliant.

 

It kept the school kids in a relative line, close enough to monitor, and free enough to appreciate the exhibit. Nobody likes sweaty hands LOL.

 

What a great idea to crochet one yourself.

[bettyandbob]

I think it's kinda crazy to bat a lash in certain situations. For example, in a parking lot, or very busy place like an airport. That seems understandable to me. It would be odd if someone tethered their kid to a park bench at the playground. I have never seen anyone do that though.

I did tie the leash to a bench in the mall ok once. I was using the stroller and a wheel came off. I had extra wheel hubs and the leash was in my diaper bag. So I put the leash on the child, tied it to the bench and sat on the floor next to the bench to repair the wheel. People did stare. But that child was a wonderer and would not have waited patiently for me while I fixed the stroller. And I wasn't going to abandon the stroller.

[SparklyUnicorn]

I did tie the leash to a bench in the mall ok once. I was using the stroller and a wheel came off. I had extra wheel hubs and the leash was in my diaper bag. So I put the leash on the child, tied it to the bench and sat on the floor next to the bench to repair the wheel. People did stare. But that child was a wonderer and would not have waited patiently for me while I fixed the stroller. And I wasn't going to abandon the stroller.

 

Oh the mall, sure that's totally different.  Although I can imagine that the same scenario would make sense in a park too.

[SparklyUnicorn]

I have tethered my kid to ground like one of those ground stakes that dogs go on. He had a long leash but it stopped him well shy of the street.  We were in the front yard doing work. Kid wanted to play and no fence. I thought it was one of the safest options. Much better then turning on a video! It felt REALLY weird doing it, but it was likely the best option to get what needed to be done, done. 

 

That seems reasonable too!

[Chelli]

I used a monkey backpack harness leash with all three of mine.

 

It became necessary when my oldest at the age of 18 months ran out the cart entry place (one of those half door things perfect for a toddler to sprint through not great for a 5'10" adult) at the local Wal-Mart. I was putting my daycare child in the cart first because he was younger and she bolted. I ran out the front door after her and was able to reach her about two steps before she had run into the parking lot where cars were passing in front of the store.

 

I used that monkey leash for all three of my kids from the time they could walk really well until they were 3/4, but only at places like the mall, zoo, around town, etc. I have huge kids so the idea of carrying them on my back was not an option. I only used the stroller if I knew we were going to be somewhere that required lots of walking without the ability to take our time. We did have a sit and stand stroller which was really nice and not as confining as a regular stroller.

 

My kids all loved their leash, and my son would probably still wear it if I'd let him!

 

I also admit to being judgmental about people that used them until the incident above with my 18 month old. She was steps from being run over. That leash saved her and her brother's life more times than I care to admit. My middle child was not nearly as adventurous or as fast the other two so I probably could have done without it for her, but it gave me peace of mind that she was close and safe.

[Liz CA]

Interesting subject in so far as it is another example of cultural norms. In Norway - and perhaps other countries with similar landscape, it was considered quite normal for coastal residents to tether young children on a long line / leash to prevent them from falling into the fjords while playing, running or even just because of the tremendously strong wind.

 

I never did it since the necessity to do so did not arise but would definitely consider it for safety reasons.

[BlsdMama]

I was adamantly against them and thought it was ridiculous people couldn't keep track of their own kids.

 

Then I had La.  She moves at the speed of light.  SHE WOULD BE THAT KID IN THE GORILLA PEN.

We used a cute little puppy backpack with a leash when going through the airport.  And honestly?  Didn't give two wits what people thought. ;)  Her absolute safety was my priority over me getting the good mom label from perfect strangers.

 

She's six now - still moves lightning fast and changes her mind (therefore her direction) on a dime.

[Shellydon]

All of mine at some point, no special needs.  When you have 3 children under the age of 3, or a child that is a runner, it is the prudent thing to do. 

[Jean in Newcastle]

I doubt that I would particularly notice if parents had a child on a leash or stroller or if they were holding hands. What I do notice is if I am having to dodge children who are running too close so that I almost trip over them. Or if they are climbing up on store shelves or somewhere else dangerous. Now this doesn't happen too often. Most often is a small child who suddenly stops while a parent urgently calls them over. The scariest was a mother at a park who didn't watch her toddler who wandered into the bike lane. Those bikes go fast and they cannot stop on a dime.

 

 

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[MercyA]

I have tethered my kid to ground like one of those ground stakes that dogs go on. He had a long leash but it stopped him well shy of the street.  We were in the front yard doing work. Kid wanted to play and no fence. I thought it was one of the safest options. Much better then turning on a video! It felt REALLY weird doing it, but it was likely the best option to get what needed to be done, done. 

 

Back in the 70's, our (then) pastor's wife tethered her toddler son to the clothesline so that he could run back and forth along the length of it. She said she knew people probably thought it was terrible, but it was the only way she could work outside and keep him safe. Hey, whatever works.  :)

 

Here's another option for keeping kids by your car in the parking lot.

[tiddles]

I used the monkey backpack leash on my son, who was a runner. Got plenty of "dog" comments but didn't care..better than a lost or injured (or worse) kid.

[slackermom]

I used the monkey backpack harness thing for a few months, until we mastered walking around in public safely.

My dd started walking on her own by 9 months, and was running faster than me by 10 months. Also, an excellent climber!

We live in an apartment building on a very busy street with buses, trains, bikes, dogs, etc., and we don't have a yard or driveway as a buffer. At our front door, she was just a few feet away from heavy traffic. She could have been in front of a train faster than I could set up a stroller. If we had to walk a block to get to the car, or if we were going to take the train or bus, there wasn't much point in using the stroller anyway.

Within a few months of walking, dd started to push a tiny fold-up doll stroller when we went out. She would put in a doll, a stuffed animal, and a water bottle, and she would push it everywhere we went. That slowed her down a bit, and kept her on the sidewalk, because the little doll stroller wheels couldn't handle curbs or yards, and she was very good about keeping dolly safe! So, at that point I stopped using the harness. Also, because dd carried her own stuff (including interesting rocks and pinecones), I had my hands more free to respond to unexpected situations, as needed.

Edited June 6, 2016 by slackermom

[Daria]

I didn't use one, because I have fewer children than hands, and my son was never the impulsive type.  

 

I certainly don't judge other people for making other decisions.  Keeping the kid safe has to be a top priority.

[Annie G]

I used one on our 2nd daughter because she was a darter. It was nearly 30 years ago and I got all kinds of comments so I only used it a couple of times.  I thought they didn't even exist anymore but last summer dd brought one for dgs to wear at the zoo because she had three other kids and that boy is an escape artist.  And he has little impulse control.   The one dd had was the monkey backpack one and we got all kinds of looks from other zoo patrons. Yeah, it was fine to walk around looking at animals in cages but heaven forbid we put a tether on the boy child. 

 

Dd has season passes to Disney World and dgs doesn't use the leash now...he is still quite a handful but the comments were getting annoying...you know the comments- not said TO you but loud enough for you to hear...how you shouldn't have that many kids if you can't take care of them without leashes. Grr..

[ktgrok]

I never have, but don't care if others do. My oldest was a pain about wandering away, but he was the only kid so I could handle him. 2nd would wander, but not dart. And there was a 10 year gap, so I had extra help keeping an eye on her! 3rd USUALLY won't run off, or at least not more than a few feet away. He did once, and I lost him at the FPEA conference, but he was 2. He never wandered again. He's 3 now, going on 4, and I don't worry and wouldn't think of harnessing him. he knows to hold on to the cart when we are in the parking lot, or to hold hands. "Parking lot rules" are drilled into them, and they like to beat each other to saying it when we approach a parking lot. It also probably helps that they all walked a bit late. And the 6 yr old is good at helping keep an eye on the 3 yr old. 

 

We don't use strollers at this age, but might rent one if we were at a theme park or something, just so we didn't end up having to carry an exhausted kid at the end of the day. Mine all hated strollers though, and could escape them easily. Come to think of it, I'm pretty sure they could escape a harness too, if they wanted. 

 

Mostly though, for ME, it would have created a false sense of security. I would have been less likely to keep a close eye on them, which means they would have probably gotten into MORE mischief, not less. And again, I don't trust my kids not to be able to get out of them. 

[Xahm]

As I said, we don't routinely use the leash, but Ido see them around from time to time. I guess I live in an unusual area, but all the comments I've ever witnessed were other moms and older women going out of their way to say things like "good for you keeping the little guy safe" or "that's such a hard age. They are so fast!" Since I'm not the one holding the leash, though, it could be that for each open and supportive comment there are several muttered disparaging remarks I don't hear.

[TechWife]

I used a wrist strap lead thingy on one trip when we were in a very busy airport and it was just the two of us. I had to manage luggage, a car seat, a stroller and a toddler. Other than that, I didn't use one.  I have no problem with people using them for safety reasons. 

[Jean in Newcastle]

Unless you are putting a lead on a collar that goes around a child's neck ( which obviously you wouldn't do for safety reasons), then you are not leashing a child like a dog.

 

 

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[Wheres Toto]

I belong to a local "Moms in x County" group on Facebook, and there was recently a post about this issue.  Many of the moms on there are quite a bit younger than I am (I'm 47, lots of 20-something new moms) and the entire thread was pretty much in favor of leashes for kids.   There were no negative comments and only a few neutral ("to each their own") type ones.  The vast majority was very positive.

 

This was a big difference from 10 years when any discussion seemed to go 50/50.  I did use a leash rarely with my oldest, but fairly frequently with my son (receptive communication delays, spd, Aspie) especially when I was HUGELY pregnant with my youngest.  He was a runner who loved stairs and escalators but didn't know how to manage them (we have no stairs at home) so would basically just try to dive down them.  He detested holding hands and hated being strapped in to strollers (a Sit-and-Stand stroller was great after dd was born and he got a little better about staying close).

 

[Cinder]

I have never used one but my mom used a harness on my sister; she's neurotypical. This was in the early 70's. Sis was the 3rd child and, according to mom, the most likely to run off; she walked at 8 months old! Mom said it was just easier, when trying to keep track of 3 young dc, to have dsis in the harness so she wouldn't lose her.

 

 

[gaillardia]

I used to be against it, then I had one who would follow the nearest pair of blue jeans even if mommy wasn't the one wearing the jeans.

I never did use a leash, considered it, but never did. 

My grandchild is a climber, bolter, independent, strong and fast, they use one on him to keep us all safe. 

[historically accurate]

I used one for my oldest, as she was an early walker (9 months). She hated holding hands, although she usually stayed fairly close. I used the backpack style in crowded areas like malls, airports, etc. She LOVED not having to hold my hand out and about, and I liked that I didn't have to constantly be looking for her. 

 

My middle was a late walker, and she preferred strollers due to some physical delays. I don't recall using the leash on her.

 

My youngest used it occasionally, but honestly I used the double stroller more often since middle preferred to ride and the youngest are only a year apart in age.

[kitten18]

My DS had a monkey backpack. I used it in airports, at the zoo, the mall, and Disneyland.

Holding his hand all the time was not an option. He was masterful at twisting his arm and pulling away. If I squeezed hard enough to keep my grip, he would yell, "'et go, 'et go, 'et go". He much preferred the freedom of the backpack.

 

If someone has never had a child that is a runner then they have no idea what they would do.

[Runningmom80]

I can't answer the poll because it's complicated. :lol:

 

I never liked the idea of a leash, up until I had twins.

 

Around the time the twins were 2, we were back and forth from Ohio to Philly house hunting.  My DH would work during the day, so I was left to my own devices with a 6 year old and twin 2 year olds.  I wanted to do things with them instead of sit in the cramped hotel room all day.  So, I bought cute animal backpacks with *ehem* long tails.  I think I even posted here about using them because I KNOW how people feel about them. 

 

In the end, I didn't use them because I was too afraid of what people would think, and I wish that I would have.  I would have been much less stressed at the museums.

[The Governess]

I used one with my very fast 2-3 year old a few times while in very crowded places like the airport/Disney. She didn't always want to be in the stroller and was much happier wearing her backpack with attached leash than having to hold someone's hand.

[abcmommy]

I had one when eldest was a toddler.  My friend got one for each of us when she was back home in the UK.  I suppose the boys were 18 months.  All legs and no brain.  It was ok and I used it sometimes.

[barnwife]

All of mine at some point, no special needs.  When you have 3 children under the age of 3, or a child that is a runner, it is the prudent thing to do. 

This made me smile. My train of thought was something like "even with 3 under 3, I've never needed one."

 

However, none of mine are runners. Well, one kind of is. But he also instantly obeys my "stop" when I say it regarding running. And, we've never been anywhere busy enough that it's been necessary. 

 

I would not hesitate for one second to use one if I thought it would help keep a kid safe.

 

For example, I know someone who did a fair amount of international travel when her 2 kids were littles. After the first time, she bought one and was feeling slightly guilty. I told her that she should have no guilt about it.

[Nan in Mass]

I wore one myself until I was 14 on our boat, since I wasn,t a strong swimmer and it was safer than a life jacket and way more comfortable. My kids wore them until about then. There were plenty of times when I tied the youngest to a tree while we were swimming so he couldn,t accidentally get into deep water. I still had to watch him, of course, but that way, I could drink a cup of tea, at least, or push an older child around nearby on a kickboard. Being tethered was pretty normal in our family. My children were pretty biddable, didn,t bolt, and were trained to hold my hand out in public, but there were plenty of places where a tether was still useful. We all have adult sized harnesses for bad weather on the boat, too.

 

Nan

[MotherGoose]

I said no, because I haven't, because I had two fairly calm, neurotypical girls and we lived in an area conducive to strollers. Now if I had a wild toddler boy (yes I know there are wild girls and calm boys, im generalizing, and also my baby is a boy), And I was somewhere that I needed him to walk that was dangerous (i.e. City streets), I'd definitely consider it. Having recently done international travel with older children, and having had to constantly look back for my wandering 7 year old(who was not tethered in any way--although I jokingly threatened to get leash, and at times made her hold onto my clothing) I'd definitely have to tether the crazy 2 or 3 year old. I say this because I didn't want my no to skew your results to "no because I'm opposed to using a tether" when mine is "no because I haven't needed to use one, but would consider one in the future to keep from losing children in international airports, onto subway tracks, or under buses :D"

[Kathryn]

Between 3 and 5 years because that's when my second was a toddler. If I could remember where I stored the damn monkey, the current toddler would be in one now.

[HRAAB]

No, I never used one. Because I was determined to prove those parents wrong. I should have. Life would have been so much easier, and my dd would have been so much safer. I make no judgments on parents who do. I've been humbled.

[happypamama]

No, I haven't ever used one, and I definitely have some children who are prone to running.  Thankfully (?), it was my oldest, and one or two adults for just her was plenty, and now that my younger two are of that age, I have the older ones to be extra eyes and hands.  I've never had children with special needs, and I've never had children very close together with no big helpers; that might be a different story.

 

Fwiw, I don't have a stroller either.

Edited June 7, 2016 by happypamama

[MrsBasil]

Yes, I tried with my dd about 2 years ago. She is neuro-typical as far as I know.

 

  She was a late walker and went from crawling to running in a matter of days.  She was so fast and it seemed like her main goal in life was to get away from me or get herself killed.  She also didn't sleep so I was navigating this while operating on 2-3 hours of sleep a night.  She stayed up screaming instead.  Anyway, she ran fast, loved to climb(she could climb and climbed our safety gates before she walked), and figured out how to unbuckle her stroller harness early on.  She then climbed out of her stroller while I was pushing it.  She tried to stand in her stroller.  She continued this, so I stopped using the stroller.   Maybe walking would tire her out more and we'd sleep. 

 

Well I had to keep a death grip on her at all times to keep her from running away from me.  She'd bolt towards traffic, strangers, strangers with dogs, bodies of water, things she could but should not climb...anything that looked like it might end up with her needing an ambulance called was irresistible to her.

 

I tried the leash.  She would either scream and scream and scream that I was hurting her, go limp and refuse to move at all, or run around me and try to wrap the leash around my legs until I fell.  Mostly she screamed and people looked at me like I was a monster.  At that point I just stopped trying to go anywhere. 

 

I'm all for leashes.  I wish they worked for me.

[Guest]

I put my kid on a leash until he was five when we were a) at the airport where there are toooooo many distractions; and b) when we were walking on docks/piers which had no edge and a deep drop into cold water.  But I stopped when he was 16.  (KIDDDINNNGGGG).  When he was about 5.  Maybe 4.  I can't remember.  He was a good kid; it's just that airports are full of distractions, business transactions, TSA, and so on.  And the other....well, that's just asking for trouble.  

 

I got a lot of comments, eyerolls and so on.  But my kid did make it to adulthood.  :0)  

[HSmomof2]

I never used one for my dc, but I'm not really opposed to it either. I think for some kids, it may be the safest option.

[AimeeM]

Child leashes are barbaric and disgusting. I would never use one. My children are not dogs.

 

Said AimeeM before The Marvelous Flying Marco gave her a dose of reality. Now AimeeM is eating her words and would totally use a child leash in certain places if she felt the need. AimeeM foresees many such situations when she may, in the future, buy a child leash (or two or three).

 

ETA: Really, though, I was eating my words with children other than Marco. Like the Lego Land Lost incident with DS7 - who is the most careful of my three children. It was stupid crowded there and he's tiny. <---- Shoulda used a leash

Edited June 7, 2016 by AimeeM

[Tsuga]

We used everything.

 

Leashes, strollers, wraps, anything, anything at all, to prevent them from running off. LOL. LOL. LOL.

 

I have a picture of my child straining at a leash to cross a police barrier in Europe. A picture of an infant struggling out of a wrap. A picture of two little girls building a tower out of strollers to climb the bookcase.

 

They begged for all of these things as soon as they could talk, but getting strapped down, immediately wanted out.

 

I think what they really wanted to do was practice their escape.

 

Just watch my kids refuse to leave home for college. I bet you a million dollars they are like "no, I want to stay with you, why can't I just keep my room?"

 

Edit: The leash was used on the kids between 9 months and 3 years or so. When I stopped using it, it was NOT because they had learned to follow instructions, hold hands, or generally do anything other than dart into the middle of traffic. I guess I just gave up at some point and decided if they die it's natural selection. Not really. But kind of. I mean I stopped not because DD2 was any safer. She still runs away, doesn't follow, darts into traffic, and spontaneously (in spite of talks, consequences, etc.) burt into cartwheels, tantrums, or whatever while crossing a parking lot. I guess it just seemed too ridiculous?

 

But if I'd set some arbitrary limit like, "Every week we will practice walking across a parking lot and if you can hold my hand, not dart into traffic, and look both ways, then you will be off the leash" then yes, DD2 would still be on a leash in first grade. So I could see that.

Edited June 7, 2016 by Tsuga

[Tsuga]

Back in the 70's, our (then) pastor's wife tethered her toddler son to the clothesline so that he could run back and forth along the length of it. She said she knew people probably thought it was terrible, but it was the only way she could work outside and keep him safe. Hey, whatever works.  :)

 

Here's another option for keeping kids by your car in the parking lot.

 

How do they magnetically attach their children to that sticker????? Do they have a wristband? How strong could that magnet possibly be?

[eternalsummer]

They made me uncomfortable. I don't think I could have ever used them. But as my kids got older and I experienced a lot of kids, I came to be very non-judgey about them. Whatever works. Well, I did know of someone who used one on a first grader who was NT. That was hard for me not to judge, I admit.

 

I always think it's so hard to know which comes first - the chicken or the  egg in this case. At one point, I knew two families with littles the same age. One little was always restrained. Her mom was like, she can never, ever be let loose because she'll run. The other was always let loose. She wasn't perfect, but she stuck with the crowd of siblings and friends very well. How much of it was the parenting style and how much was innate to the kid? So impossible to know.

 

The leash does seem to be waning in popularity, but it's hard to say for sure. The stroller is always popular. Like a couple of others here, we also ditched ours really young. I make my poor preschoolers go on forced city marches many times just to get out of bringing a stroller.

 

They always made me uncomfortable too, until I had a bolter.

 

I have 5 kids and basically one, maybe one and a half bolters.  I never used a leash for the bolter (or the half bolter) because they were far enough apart at that point that a stroller was feasible (and more socially acceptable), but I see now that for this kid, a leash might have been a better idea.

 

Instead of keeping him leashed all the time I had to have him in the stroller All The Time.  He couldn't hold a hand for more than a few seconds without going crazy; he was strong and determined to run into traffic All The Time.  or climb the railing, or whatever.  

 

He would have actually experienced more of the world if I hadn't kept him in the stroller, but it was just not a physical possibility to let him run about.

 

I have had kids that are in the middle and some that are perfectly compliant and stand right by you, so I am pretty sure it is not a parenting issue.

[AndyJoy]

In theory I would have used one, but it didn't work out in our case. I owned the cute little monkey backpack but only used it maybe once or twice with DS on a trial basis. He was a runner and didn't seem bothered by being waaaaay far away from me. I put the backpack on him a few times to get him used it it, but he became inconsolable when I tried to actually use it. He was my only child at the time, so I found other methods to keep him safe.

 

DD was not a runner, but I tried to acclimate her to it just in case. She would melt into a wailing puddle if I brought it near her, so I got rid of it.

 

One of my earliest memories is of wearing a yellow harness/leash at Disneyland when I was 2 1/2. My parents had me pose with Pluto holding my leash, and I remember finding it hilarious that "The doggie is holding my leash!"

 

About 5 years ago I saw an elderly woman in an airport with 3 children aged approximately 6, 8, and 10 wearing leashes. I presumed she was their grandmother. It was such an odd sight, but I have no idea if the kids might have had special needs. She had an obvious physical ailment that would have prevented her from being able to chase anyone, especially in two or three directions, so perhaps it was the best thing she could think to do in that situation. All three were sitting playing game devices when I saw them, but she would have known immediately if one got up.

Edited June 7, 2016 by AndyJoy