Talk to me about grade placement with early fall bdays

[4KookieKids]

I have three kids who all have early fall birthdays: Aug 16, Aug 28, and Sept 13.   In my state, the grade cut-off is July 31st.

 

I get that grades don't mean a ton early on when homeschooling, and part of the freedom of homeschooling is doing whatever your kiddo is ready for whenever he/she is ready, so I'm not asking about what to "cover" with my kids. But I'm just interested in hearing different reasons why one would choose to let them be the oldest in their class vs. the youngest in the case where they miss it just by a few weeks.

 

Three things in particular stand out to me:

(1) The cut-off date is definite for kids whose bday is on or before July 31 or after Oct 15, but the schools give you freedom to do whatever you think is best for bdays from Aug 1 - Oct 15.

(2) Only 6 states have cut-offs on or before Aug 1st. If we were to move, there's a non-trivial probability that we'd be moving to a place where the cut-off would be different.

(3) My kids *could* really could fit in with either crowd (size wise, developmentally, etc.)

 

What are the pros and cons of doing it either way, in your experience?

 

 

Edited March 31, 2016 by deanna1ynne

[mom2att]

Two of mine have mid-August birthdays in a state with a Sept. 1 cutoff. One started a year late, because it was apparent early on that's where he needed to be and that's what would have happened had he gone to a traditional school (I've no doubt he would have repeated K).  I cannot imagine him a year ahead, though now that he's in high school things are evening out. Still, an extra year for brain maturity when it comes to things like Algebra and Sciences has been a very good thing for this kid.

 

His brother did not start late but probably could have. We have been heavily involved in a homeschool community since he was born, so he had a number of friends in his same "grade." He's done fine but is usually the youngest when things are grouped by grade, and of course when it comes to learning I just teach him where he is, anyway. I will say that if I had to put him in school, I would probably place him back a year, just because he's not the strongest student and I think the extra year would benefit him. As it stands now he's doing okay. We'll see how the high school years go!

 

[Chelli]

The cutoff here in Texas is September 1.

 

I probably would just go by the cutoff in your state for "grade" placement. As arbitrary as that is in homeschooling, but sometimes necessary for extracurricular activities.

 

If you move, I would just keep going by the "grade" where they started and not have them jump a grade. Just about everyone in Texas red shirts birthdays that close to the cut off anyway. Especially boys. 

[Arcadia]

I didn't need to decide for DS11 because his birthday was a day before the old Dec 2nd cutoff. We just sent him especially when he was as tall as an average 2nd grader at the assigned public school.

 

For DS11, the decision to send him on time to public school work in his favor. When you are the youngest kid in school and still need subject acceleration, teachers and admin can't pull the redshirt card. He is now a 5'3" eleven year old 6th grader playing a full size cello. We would consider a gap year if he needs to mature more before college or even if he just wants a gap year.

 

For DS10, he miss the old Dec 2nd cutoff by 3 days and our public school won't let him enter K early so we ended up applying to grade skip him when he was in 2nd in public charter at his request. I could have grade skip him after we switch to homeschooling but it did give him a confidence boost that public school agreed with his grade skipping request.

 

Sports my boys like go by age so it hasn't been an issue. My boys aren't in any competition sports but those I know go by age.

 

Math competitions go by grades but my kids know there are younger kids who are better than them so there is no point holding back a grade for math competitions.

 

Science competitions go by grade level but my kids weren't interested so I have never look at details.

 

ETA:

Library summer programs go by grade level here but we are at the library so often the librarians let my kids go for the next level up if we ask. It does help that oldest is so big size that the other parents think he is older.

Some summer programs go by grade levels and no leeway because parents complain. Our schools issue student IDs cards every year.

Edited March 31, 2016 by Arcadia

[EKS]

My older son has an early summer birthday in a state with a September 1 cutoff.  We did not hold him back but ended up homeschooling him starting in second grade due to learning problems (he has dyslexia and ADHD).  *Everyone* at the time told us that we should have him repeat first grade that first year we homeschooled, but we kept him in his proper age-grade, and by the time he graduated from high school a few weeks before he turned 18, he was more than ready.

[macmacmoo]

We have July and August birthdays.

 

Our eldest has an mid August birthday. The state had a free preschool program with a end August cut off date. But we moved right before he started to a state with a end of July cut off so no state paid school that year. He was ready to start learning so I started teaching.

 

Right before he was to start preschool in that state we moved again to a state that had no state paid preschool with a July cut off. That really sealed the deal for homeschooling.

 

we school year round and they "graduate" to the next grade level in January. Not like we actually do anything that's tied to grade level.

[vonfirmath]

The cutoff here in Texas is September 1.

 

I probably would just go by the cutoff in your state for "grade" placement. As arbitrary as that is in homeschooling, but sometimes necessary for extracurricular activities.

 

If you move, I would just keep going by the "grade" where they started and not have them jump a grade. Just about everyone in Texas red shirts birthdays that close to the cut off anyway. Especially boys. 

 

Also in Texas with two August birthdays.  Both went to school on time. In fact, my son's best friend (in his grade) is actually a day YOUNGER than him! Around here (my area of town) it is not at all common to red shirt birthdays.  I would expect to see the same in any part of the state where a significant portion of the kids are on free/reduced price lunches.  In more wealthy areas, yes more late summer birthdays are red shirted (the year DS went to K,  we were attending a church on the other side of town. BOTH of his best friends were being held back, even though one of their birthdays was in March. So they would have no longer been in the same Sunday School class anyway)

Edited March 31, 2016 by vonfirmath

[SKL]

My kids are both young for grade.  It works for them.  One of them finds everything easy despite being 7-20 months younger than her classmates.  My other kid has to work hard to keep up, but she is a hard worker and socially a fit in her grade.

 

If your child is interested in book work and such, and you don't foresee problems keeping him focused on it, I could see putting him in the higher grade.  If you foresee him resisting a lot of seatwork, I could see putting him in the lower grade.  That will give you the flexibility to adjust your expectations rather than battling over school.

 

Most non-school organizations respect the grade my kids are in, but some go by age.  Their scout troop kept them with the lower-grade kids because of their birthday.  Some programs miss them because level A is for grades 1-3 and level B is for ages 9-11.  But usually the age / grade issue isn't a big deal or even works in our favor.

[Ellie]

I have three kids who all have early fall birthdays: Aug 16, Aug 28, and Sept 13.   In my state, the grade cut-off is July 31st.

 

I get that grades don't mean a ton early on when homeschooling, and part of the freedom of homeschooling is doing whatever your kiddo is ready for whenever he/she is ready, so I'm not asking about what to "cover" with my kids. But I'm just interested in hearing different reasons why one would choose to let them be the oldest in their class vs. the youngest in the case where they miss it just by a few weeks.

 

Three things in particular stand out to me:

(1) The cut-off date is definite for kids whose bday is on or before July 31 or after Oct 15, but the schools give you freedom to do whatever you think is best for bdays from Aug 1 - Oct 15.

(2) Only 6 states have cut-offs on or before Aug 1st. If we were to move, there's a non-trivial probability that we'd be moving to a place where the cut-off would be different.

(3) My kids *could* really could fit in with either crowd (size wise, developmentally, etc.)

 

What are the pros and cons of doing it either way, in your experience?

 

I have a very strong opinion about this, based on 30 years of discussing the topic with other homeschoolers, both on-line and IRL, and 16 years of owning a homeschool satellite and dealing with kerfluffles when parents fudged on their dc's grade levels and at some point the dc went to school.

 

I don't think you need to take into consideration what the cut-off dates are in other states. Military children have been dealing with this for years, and it isn't a big deal. :-)

 

Since we're really and truly only discussing a grade level that you put on paper, which has nothing to do with what your children are actually learning, I'd go with letting your dc be officially "in first grade" the year that they turn 6 in August and September. It won't affect what you are teaching at home. Your dc won't be the only ones in any group activity who are on the younger side.

[4KookieKids]

I have a very strong opinion about this, based on 30 years of discussing the topic with other homeschoolers, both on-line and IRL, and 16 years of owning a homeschool satellite and dealing with kerfluffles when parents fudged on their dc's grade levels and at some point the dc went to school.

 

I don't think you need to take into consideration what the cut-off dates are in other states. Military children have been dealing with this for years, and it isn't a big deal. :-)

 

Since we're really and truly only discussing a grade level that you put on paper, which has nothing to do with what your children are actually learning, I'd go with letting your dc be officially "in first grade" the year that they turn 6 in August and September. It won't affect what you are teaching at home. Your dc won't be the only ones in any group activity who are on the younger side.

 

I'm actually really surprised to hear you say this! With your big lead in regarding your strong feelings, hassles caused when parents fudge grade levels, and not taking into account that our state has a relatively early deadline compared to other states, I expected you to recommend going "by the book" and sticking with the official state recommendation ( which means that they'd be the oldest in their class rather than the youngest). :)

 

ETA: I kind of left out the whole point of my expressing surprise, which was to ask the following question: Why do you give the recommendation you do, given that it seems several of the things you mentioned (fudging grade levels causing problems later, not caring about other states, etc.) would - on the surface - appear to support a decision to send them with others who miss the deadline vs. earlier?

Edited April 1, 2016 by deanna1ynne

[Farrar]

If you're talking about registering them, I'd go with your state's cut off and just register them as the "older" kids in their grade. I think it's just easier to go with that. When there are activities that have some flexibility, then I'd put them where you think makes the most sense - Sunday school, co-ops, art class, rec sports, etc. all tend to be pretty flexible about this stuff. Some activities like competitive sports have firm date rules, in which case, there's no point in thinking about it anyway.

 

In terms of the reality of how you think of them... I was much more blithe about this a few years ago. My boys have September birthdays in a state with a Sept. 30th cut off. I used to think, whatever, they're homeschooled. But honestly, over time I've realized that it remains an issue. Like, it still helps me when I mentally readjust them to the lower grade every once in awhile. It helps me breathe more easily and think, yeah, they're awesome academically. When I'm thinking of them as their "real" grade, sometimes I feel a little panicked. Like, eek, are they really good enough and all that. It shouldn't matter so much, but it does a little bit. I feel like we always have to be "on time" and when I pretend they're in the previous grade, it's like when you set the clock early to fool yourself so you'll be on time when you're running late. When they were in kindy and we were just registering, I thought it would clearly have worked its way out by now, but now I'm at the point where I'm thinking maybe they'll really need that pre-college gap year.

 

Which is just to say... I'm sure this resolves itself in some homes, but it still is something on my mind as a parent of kids on sit right on the cut off here.

[FairProspects]

I've always mentally resolved my summer birthday kid down a grade and I'm glad I have so far. When we did go to enroll him in a private school, they had a *firm* June 30 cutoff for everyone, which was so strict that they make transfer students from other schools repeat a grade if they don't meet the cutoff date. This worked out well for us since I had placed him in the lower grade during homeschool anyway but that could have been really tough if he had expected to be placed in a higher grade. I agree with Farrar that the grade issue has remained a much bigger deal for longer than I ever expected it to, so being intentional with placement either way is wise.

[4KookieKids]

 I agree with Farrar that the grade issue has remained a much bigger deal for longer than I ever expected it to, so being intentional with placement either way is wise.

 

This is what I'm concerned about... Right now, oldest is 6 and "in" K (compulsory education laws mean we have to be "legal" if he's 6 by Jan 1, even if the grade cut-off is July 31), because I did things exactly as the regulation is written. But I've second guessed myself all year. And now my next child is 4 (5 in Aug), and is in preschool where she's outperforming all the older students, and I'm feeling some (outside) pressure to have her be "in" K next year, even though she misses the cut-off. I'll do whatever they're ready for whenever they're ready, academically speaking... it's all the "extra" stuff that I second guess.

 

But they're just kids... and I'm pretty laid back on school at this age anyway, not doing much more than math and reading/writing with my oldest right now, with a hefty dose of outside time, legos, costumes, role playing, crafting, and free play. :)

 

I don't want to screw this up long term, and I don't want to go back and forth and confuse the issue... I'm getting ready to fill out paperwork, and I'm just not sure if I should "leave" the kids where they currently fall (oldest in pretty much everything) or scooch them up just a smidge to being youngest. And part of me just wants to shrug it off, but I really worry that it'll be a much bigger deal down the road than I realize. An extra year to be a kid before joining the big, wide world seems kind of like a big deal. But maybe they'll resent that decision when they're 17 and chaffing to be on their own and going to college? I'm sure there are all sorts of issues when it comes to testing and placement and credits that will come up later that I'm just unfamiliar with right now.

[happypamama]

My area's cut-off is later, September, I think, and I'm required to register them as homeschoolers by age 8, so that's a little different from yours.  But with my mid-fall baby, if I'd sent him to school, I'd have pushed to send him at 4, almost 5, because socially, he would have been ready for a classroom environment.  Academically, he would have done fine as a young kindergartener.  However, since we kept him at home, and since he has two little brothers, we opted to call him a preschooler for another year.  This year, he started first grade at 6, almost 7, and he's done just fine with first grade work.  (His math and narration skills are quite good; his reading skills are a little weaker but advancing nicely.)  I figure I can always skip him a year later on if it turns out that he's ready to advance and graduate at 17, almost 18.  The advantage to making him a preschooler that one year instead of a kindergartener is that he'll hit third grade a year later, which is the first year our state requires a standardized test.  So he'll have had an extra year for maturity and readiness.  I think he'd have been fine earlier, but a little more time can only be good for him.

 

Otoh, my little guy who will be 5 this summer is perfect kindergarten age, and if we were sending him to school, he would be one of the youngest in his class.  I think he'd be okay, but given that he's a quiet, snuggly sort of child more than a go-go-go sort, I think he'd be maybe a little lost in a big classroom.  I could see giving him a gap year later if he's not ready to head off to college at just barely 18, although academically, his skills seem on par with an almost-kindergartener.

 

And then there's my baby.  He'll be 3 this summer.  He's practically ready for a classroom now.  Nothing would be served by holding him back.  If we sent him to school, he'd be almost the youngest possible age, very newly 5, and he'd be just fine, more than just fine.  We're all in trouble when he actually can read and write.

Edited April 1, 2016 by happypamama

[Julie Smith]

Youngest is near our province cut-off. 

 

His birthday is end of November and our cut-off is December 31st. I just consider him the grade he would be which is a young grade 5 student right now. (He is 10). I have told him we would re-evaluate when he could be entering grade 9. To me it doesn't really matter till then.

[Arcadia]

But maybe they'll resent that decision when they're 17 and chaffing to be on their own and going to college? I'm sure there are all sorts of issues when it comes to testing and placement and credits that will come up later that I'm just unfamiliar with right now.

If they are ahead at 8th grade and wants to go to college at 17, you could always make 8th grade their 9th grade.

Or you could also dual enroll them in college from 14 years old or earlier in some places if they want to try college classes.

[2ndGenHomeschooler]

In my state the cut off is December 31. My 8yo has a September birthday and my 6yo has a November birthday. I have them in 3rd and 1st grades even though they'd be young for their grade if I sent them to school. I have a September birthday and was the youngest in my kindergarten class and it was fine. I never considered waiting with my 8yo. I briefly considered waiting a year to start K with my son but then decided it really didn't matter. We aren't required to register here and most of our friends homeschool. He's big for his age and fits in very well with most 7 and 8 year olds physically, socially, and emotionally. So for the few outside activities we're involved in it really works better to call him 1st grade. We work at his level in school which is a solid 1st grade for math and more like K for reading. If we need to add a year for any reason we'll probably do it after 8th grade and call it "high school prep year". That's our plan with all of our kids though if we don't think they're ready for high school after 8th grade.

[SeaConquest]

My youngest has an August 8th bday, and I can already see in his preschool class how being one of the youngest has negatively impacted him. The expectations for behavior (especially when compared to the older girls in his class) just feel age-inappropriate for him, on some level. I have no idea if we will homeschool him, but, I can definitely understand why red-shirting him would be a good idea.

[Ellie]

I'm actually really surprised to hear you say this! With your big lead in regarding your strong feelings, hassles caused when parents fudge grade levels, and not taking into account that our state has a relatively early deadline compared to other states, I expected you to recommend going "by the book" and sticking with the official state recommendation ( which means that they'd be the oldest in their class rather than the youngest). :)

 

ETA: I kind of left out the whole point of my expressing surprise, which was to ask the following question: Why do you give the recommendation you do, given that it seems several of the things you mentioned (fudging grade levels causing problems later, not caring about other states, etc.) would - on the surface - appear to support a decision to send them with others who miss the deadline vs. earlier?

 

I would let children who turn 6 in July start school in September. I might hesitate about a child whose bday is in September.

 

OTOH, these are homeschooled children, so grade level doesn't mean a whole lot, so I might let the September bday be first grade, too.

 

Edited April 1, 2016 by Ellie

[Carpe]

The cutoff here is March 1 after the school year starts. So this whole discussion is weird for me.

 

Kids born March 2 to August 31 only have one choice of school years (the current school year's Kers are born in 2010). But kids born between September 1 and March 1 can go a year late.

 

It used to be very rare to see kids be held back. But it's becoming more common.

 

One of my sons plays hockey. There are strict age cutoffs. His age group is only kids born in 2009. There are both kindergarteners and second graders on his team. There is a notable difference in maturity between the two groups that cannot be explained merely by the 10 months between them. One Ker is 17 months older than the youngest kid in his class but he still seems like a Ker. And the second graders both have kids 15 months older than them in their classes, but both seem like second graders.

 

And then this discussion makes it seem like most 2009 kids in the US are in kindergarten this year. I have to wonder if your first graders seem like our second graders, or if our first graders are the same as yours...

 

This probably doesn't really help the OP, so I'm arbitrarily saying put your kids in the higher grade. :)

[Carrie12345]

I have a mid-August kid who started in ps, which was further complicated by being 2E.  There was no way I could have held him back from going to kindergarten without having him hate kindergarten the following year.  Socially, it wasn't an easy fit, but I think that was more ASD than age.  For him, it was the right call.  He went on to leave ps 2 years early and enroll in college.  Where he's still slightly awkward, but more academically engaged.

 

My youngest won't be going to public school, but we've called him a kindergartner this year at home and at co-op, even though he has a December birthday.  Our cut off is 9/1. He was born into an active homeschooling family, he's inquisitive, he participates appropriately in classroom environments (of several different types,) and, while he can still throw a tantrum with the best of them, he's generally mature for his age.  But we also don't register until age 8, so I don't feel any pressure to make a permanent decision right now.

[MeaganS]

I have August and September birthday children, so I've thought about this a lot.

 

My August child would miss the cut-off for our state by 4 days based on the state we lived in at the time (but the cutoffs in our current state are different and she would make them). But, she has some developmental difficulties and is very small for her age because of them, so if I was putting her in school, I would totally wait that grade level and be happy about it. For practical purposes, she's right on target academically and in our real life I pick and choose what grade I call her based on how I think she'll do in each individual scenario. Our church puts everyone in classes based only on birthday with a Jan. 1 cutoff, so that's a non-issue. For Girl Scouts, I called her 1st grade so she could be in Daisies rather than Brownies. But if I had to put her in public school for some reason, I'd definitely put her in first, not second.

 

My September child is rather advanced. By her birthday cutoff, she wouldn't even be in Kindergarten yet (just barely). But she is reading books like Boxcar Children and is about to start Beast Academy in math. She would be bored out of her mind. Socially, she's fairly mature and she's tall for her age. At our co-op, they wouldn't let her do the K-2 classes (I tried) so she was stuck in the PreK class. She enjoyed it well enough but it was obviously well beneath her (letter of the week). I called her a K'er so she could be in Girl Scouts with her big sister. If she was going to have to go to school, I'd really push for her to be in at least Kindergarten, if not first. Big sister doesn't seem to mind that little sister has mostly caught up with her (and will surpass her in math).

 

Because both are so asynchronous, I would hesitate to put either in public school, but if I had to, I would redshirt one and advance the other based on what I think they'd need.

[4KookieKids]

Hmmm. Thanks, all. As always, you've given me a lot to think about and I appreciate it! :)

[Kathryn]

I have two boys with fall birthdays. I started kindergarten work with them both when they were almost five. That's when I went to K, also with a fall birthday. However, neither would make the cutoff here now. But, for reporting purposes, I call them the younger grade. We made that decision after we'd already decided on the older grade route for the first child, so he had two first grade years. I decided that it would be better /easier on the ego to call them the younger grade and be able to bump them a grade up in middle school/graduate early than to realize once they were teens that they just weren't ready for the work and have them repeat at that age.

[Garga]

I put my son in K, igoring the state cut off date--so that if he'd been allowed in school, he'd have been the youngest.

 

I did it because all of his friends were going into K.

 

I kept him progressing and always at a level where he would be the youngest in the class, again so that he would match all his friend's grades. I know the social world of kids. And I know that they won't play with someone who is in a younger grade (on the whole.). Homeschooled kids don't see the distinction as much, but all his public schooled friends would. He's already on the short side, and if he was an entire grade below them (and therefore in younger groups at church--all of these are church friends), he might lose his friends.

 

It was important to us that he have friends and these are a really good group of kids. I wanted him to have that social part of his life and for some reason there were no boys in the next grade down at church. Just girls. So he would have been without friends in his grade.

 

I still think it was a good decision. Sometimes it's hard for homeschoolers to find friends, and the social aspect is important. I think it was wise of me to have him match his friends' grade level so he wouldn't quietly be pushed aside as the kids got older. Which now, as they're ready to all enter high school, I could see happening.

 

BUT. My mama-heart wishes I hadn't for my own reasons. He'll be heading off to college in 4.5 years and I really, really wish I had another year with him at home. I wish it wasn't for another 5.5 years. If I'd held him back, I'd have more time with him on this other end.

 

If he hadn't had those 5 friends, all in K when (according to the school) he was supposed to be in Preschool, I would have held him back. But those 5 friends are good solid friends and I didn't want him to be the odd kid out. Again--it was a good decision. We don't know any kids a year behind him, so I think he'd have always been the only one in our circle who was a year behind and would have always felt like the kid left out, scrambling around to play with the "big" kids (who are really only a couple of months older--but before the cut off date.)

 

I could be wrong, but my gut says it was a good decision.

[Jane Elliot]

I have five graduated (homeschooled K-12) kids with birthdays between late August and early November. We made the choice for all of them to call them 1st grade the year they were closest to their 7th birthday. We saw all kinds of advantages and have no regrets. It didn't change how I taught them. I taught them according to where they were developmentally (and that was all over the board, depending on the kid.) But it did mean they entered university when they were almost 19. That extra year to grow and mature was invaluable. It was hard to see when the kids were small, but in our house there's been a world of difference between an 18 yo and a 19yo in terms of emotional maturity. My almost 19yo kids went into college with a clear vision of what they wanted and the maturity to go for it. They were given all kinds of opportunities (lead on research projects, internships, class president, etc.), and I think much of that was simply that they were almost a full year ahead of their peers. Another factor for my kids was that when they took their SATs, they had had almost a full extra year to grow academically which meant big scholarships (including full and almost full.) Some of these kids were absolutely ready for college academics at 16, but they were not ready emotionally. It was easier for us to say up front (in first grade), "This is the track you're on" than it would have been to tell the 17/18yo, "We think you should wait another year before college." (My 17yo current senior has a June birthday. She is heading off to college in the fall. She's totally ready academically, but I wish she had more time and experience before college.) It's easy to change your mind later and bump a kid ahead when they're a teen. But, it's nearly impossible to hold them back; at the very least, it's potentially demoralizing. At this point, my youngest is 8yo with an early September birthday. We call him 2nd grade, but I know we can bump him forward if we want to later on. He'll probably have his last two years at home alone because all the others will have graduated. I think that might be lonely for him, so we may decide to do things differently this time, but for now we're going with what worked so well for the others.

[Chris in VA]

Talking strictly brick and mortar school here--

It's so individual. I don't like to see 4yos in K. Many times they can do the work, even in very academic K programs, but I see lots of kids get tired, be less socially mature, etc. I really think cut offs that go to December (or even beyond Sept 1) do a disservice to typical children.

There are exceptions, for sure.

 

You have to think of the long game, too, as some have said. Personally, I did not want my daughter to be dating young men in her grade who were almost 2 years older. I was thinking it'd become problematic for a 16yo to date an 18yo. There are R&J laws in our state, however, so it isn't a problem here in VA but it's possible in other states that it be one. And there's driving--and just social maturity, again. Being on the later side of puberty can be a problem for some kids--mostly because some other kids may tease. But the same thing happens when one is the oldest in the class (esp for girls who pube out early).

 

You are right that there's a lot to think about.

 

Homeschooling works so well, imo, because you don't have to worry about all that, really. You mix with kids of all ages, you can find your own academic level in every subject, you can slow down or speed up, you can take CC classes if you need to--so much more flexible.

[Wheres Toto]

My son's birthday is August 22nd but our cut-off is October 1st (I think, each district can choose here).  He was in early intervention from 3 years to 4 years old and when he "graduated" they said not to send him back to kindergarten until he was 6.  Academically he was advanced but socially he wasn't.  He's definitely 2E and quirky.   I'll admit that their recommendation is part of what led us to homeschool - concerns over behavior if he was bored in school. 

 

He has done some outside classes - a local university GT program, 4-H, Sunday School.  In all of those, we've been able to put him in the higher grade.   Most of these we didn't start until he was a bit older so the social-awkwardness wasn't as blatant. 

[SanDiegoMom]

If there is a possibility of putting them back into school at some point, it definitely is a big consideration.  I had the option of putting my k-er in with a November bday in CA.  Then we moved. She has always been the youngest in the grade. Academic ability to grasp the material and quality of output has never ever been a problem. Social maturity and executive functioning have.  Now she's a junior planning to apply to some selective colleges and her grades just aren't as good because she just hadn't matured yet to understand how much they matter (and I didn't check her grades non-stop and stay on her case throughout ninth grade).  She's hit her stride now, but it was about a year too late, so she is borderline compared to most of her peers. But every case is different according to personality.  

 

 

[kathy_overman]

It is such a bummer that before we really know how our children will mature and develop, we may have to choose if they will be the oldest or the youngest.

 

We chose for our DS to be the oldest.  He is physically small, and at age 5 was very socially immature.  I now see, that as with so much of life, it is a choice that has pros and cons.

 

There are trade-offs to everything - can you hear me whining?  

 

He is still small for his age, but is now often more mature than his 'grade' peers.  Yet, he likes being academically ahead.

 

I can't say that any of the pros or cons we have had to deal are really a big deal - just a part of life.

[Dmmetler]

At K, my DD (late Nov birthday) was tested and entered at 4. At 4, it didn't make sense to wait, and, in fact, still wasn't enough, which is why we ended up homeschooling.

 

At 11, if she were to go to PS, I'd probably see if we could reverse the grade skip. Academically, she's still ahead, and ahead enough that being in 6th grade vs 5th grade wouldn't make a difference. But physically, she's young for her age. Many of the kids who are the same size and at the same stage of development she is are in 3rd or 4th grade this year, not 6th. And for a middle school age kid, that's a big difference. At this point, she fits in better with younger kids and college students, not with kids in the official "middle school" band where she is supposed to be based on registration. But, honestly, I don't foresee that changing much between now and August, when, by age, she'd be expected to be a 6th grader. Which is why she won't be going back to public school for middle school as long as we live here. Maybe if we move somewhere where small, late developing kids are more common...

[Bluegoat]

I descided that as far as registering, I would do it as if I was sending my kids to public school.  The main scenarios in which it would be an issue were participating in school programs like violin, that are open to homeschoolers, or if they ended up going to ps.

 

My general feeling about K level here is that it isn't appropriate for a lot of five year olds, so that is where I was starting from.  And the year my eldest started, they pushed back the cut off date - so they only needed to be five by Dec 31.  I think that is too lttle for almst all kids to be in academic school for a full day.

 

My eldest however has a January birthday, so she did start on time.  My dd8 was born in October and so I waited a year for her.  That also best corresponds to her ability to sit still - she is very bright but not inclined to seat work.  My son also has a January birthday but I still waited a year with him - he was clearly not ready for school, not interested in academics, and still inclined to have melt-downs when he was tired.  So he will officially start K when he is 6.5.

[Julie Smith]

The cutoff here is March 1 after the school year starts. So this whole discussion is weird for me.

 

Kids born March 2 to August 31 only have one choice of school years (the current school year's Kers are born in 2010). But kids born between September 1 and March 1 can go a year late.

 

It used to be very rare to see kids be held back. But it's becoming more common.

 

One of my sons plays hockey. There are strict age cutoffs. His age group is only kids born in 2009. There are both kindergarteners and second graders on his team. There is a notable difference in maturity between the two groups that cannot be explained merely by the 10 months between them. One Ker is 17 months older than the youngest kid in his class but he still seems like a Ker. And the second graders both have kids 15 months older than them in their classes, but both seem like second graders.

 

And then this discussion makes it seem like most 2009 kids in the US are in kindergarten this year. I have to wonder if your first graders seem like our second graders, or if our first graders are the same as yours...

 

This probably doesn't really help the OP, so I'm arbitrarily saying put your kids in the higher grade. :)

 

I suppose that might be a chicken and egg question. Are the immature kids immature since they are in kindergartener, or did there parents hold them back and put them in kindergarten because they are immature?

[Mbelle]

I finally figured out that as far as academics go i place where appropriate.  

 

Having said that red shirting is prolific in our area.  What I should have done is simply stated a lower grade for such things as church, rec league etc...  I will do this with the youngest.  

 

I did not red shirt my first two when at brick and mortar before we started homeschooling.  It is tough when you have one child who is academically advanced.  How could I hold him back?  He has a spring birthday too.  He would finish his work early and the expectation was that he sit still at his desk while everyone else finished.  This was in 1st grade.  So, no I guess you could say he was not mature enough to do that at 6 years old.  His teacher said that he was wanting to get up and do stuff.  Imagine that!  He spent large amounts of his day just sitting at his desk doing nothing while students who were one year older completed their work. We pulled out of school midyear.  I honestly still don't know what the best answer is for those type of situations.  

[Julie Smith]

One thing about Ontario makes it easy. Until a few years ago highschool was 5 years long. But they recently got rid of OAC/grade 13. What a lot of people do is take an extra year for highschool since that is the norm. It is called, "Doing a victory lap". 

 

 

[KrissiK]

In California the cut off is Sept. 1. My youngest dd turned 5 in October. She's a sharp little cookie and definitely could have done the work, but she was not at all interested in doing school and I had 3 other kids to homeschool, one of whom was really really struggling learning to read, so I bought her the kindergarten set of workbooks from Rod & Staff and let her do that at her own pace.

 

Another thing to consider....I taught junior high for 11 years and noticed that sometimes kids who started young, especially boys, struggled when they got to middle school. I would never recommend to a parent who was making that decision to start their boys young. A lot of ps parents want their kids in school ASAP because it's "free daycare" but a lot of times that backfires in the case of boys.

Edited April 1, 2016 by KrissiK

[Ellie]

In California the cut off is Sept. 1. My youngest dd turned 5 in October. She's a sharp little cookie and definitely could have done the work, but she was not at all interested in doing school and I had 3 other kids to homeschool, one of whom was really really struggling learning to read, so I bought her the kindergarten set of workbooks from Rod & Staff and let her do that at her own pace.

 

 

 

I'm so glad California changed the cut-off from Dec. 2 to Sept. 1. I read somewhere, and have no way of verifying it but it sounds reasonable, that back in the day, children could enter school in the fall term or the winter term; the Dec. 2 cut-off was for the winter term, and there was a different date for the fall term. At some point, winter-term entrance was dropped, and the Dec. 2 cut-off was kept instead of the fall-term cut-off. So there you have it. ;-)

 

Of course, Mr. Ellie, whose birthday is September 7, would have graduated from high school a whole year later, and he would have joined the Air Force a whole year later, and he would have gotten back to San Diego a whole year later, and we might never have met. :-)

[KrissiK]

 

Of course, Mr. Ellie, whose birthday is September 7, would have graduated from high school a whole year later, and he would have joined the Air Force a whole year later, and he would have gotten back to San Diego a whole year later, and we might never have met. :-)

Wow, aren't you glad they hadn't changed the date yet? ;)

[Ellie]

Wow, aren't you glad they hadn't changed the date yet? ;)

 

Yes!

[snowbeltmom]

There can be some negative consequences to being young for the grade, even if maturity and academics are a non-issue:

 

My oldest wanted to apply to a summer program.  In order to apply to the program, the students had to have completed 10th grade and turned 16 by the end of June.  Those students who had completed 10th grade, but had later summer birthdays were not able to apply. 

 

A good friend's daughter had a September birthday and was youngest in her grade at school. (The cutoff was September 30th at that time, but the other kids with September birthday's at her school were a year older)  My friend said that being young for her age even affected her in college.  The daughter was a finalist for a summer internship at the end of her junior year.  However, when they found out that she was not 21,  they told her to apply again the following summer.  Apparently, a lot of networking occurred after hours in places that required you to be 21 to enter.  My friend's daughter was looking to apply to grad schools during senior year and having that internship on her resume would have been a big boost to her application.

[LisaKinVA]

Generally speaking, I'm mostly a cut-off kind of girl, that said -- when it comes to placing your child in a grade (or for graduating), there is no one-size fits all approach.  Time can be a gift, and education is as much about emotional and social readiness as it is academic knowledge.

 

My oldest son was born 2 weeks before the cut-off.  While he is very bright, he did not meet the K readiness standards (because it's more than academic...he blew the academic portion away).  We plugged away keeping him in his "age-grade" until we hit 6th grade, and it was incredibly apparent he was not ready for the type of work being expected in English and History.  Concrete subjects were still "easy" (although, he had maturity issues in dealing with homework), but he just could not grasp what he was being asked to do in Lit discussions and History comparisons.  We repeated 6th.  While some will issue dire warnings about kids dropping out of high school, he is now a rising Junior, and if you ask him -- he is thankful for the extra time.  He knows he wasn't ready to handle high school, and he is enjoying playing sports and doing things with his peers.  He will still be 18 when he graduates (fwiw, puberty was on the late side for him, too).

 

My middle son is a mid-July birthday. He also did not meet K readiness standards (emotional, social and fine motor skills).  He is now a rising 7th grader and making noise about graduating early (on-time).  That ball is firmly in his court..  He entered puberty 2 years earlier than his older brother (age-wise).

 

My middle daughter is a mid-July birthday.  She just has no interest in academics (although she is quite good at them).  She wanted to play more, I was frazzled with 5, and an international move.  She was on track *until* we put her in the local school.  Even "at" grade level she didn't learn anything that year.  We picked up where we left off with her school, and we are gradually getting her "caught up" to where she should be.  At home, she is still in 3rd grade, at the school she'd be in 4th.  I'll leave it up to her whether she graduates in 8 or 9 years.

 

The girls who were born in January have had zero issues (although, both of those had significant speech delays, with the youngest having reading delays on top of that).  Right now, my youngest daughter still "meets" grade level, and I expect she will drive to excel, as she has that spirit.

 

There is no absolute right or wrong answer.  We are all individuals.  Looking at my larger family I can tell you this:

 

My mother would have benefited from an extra year in school (her opnion)

I would have benefited from a grade skip (or two).

My younger brother would have benefited from an extra year in school.

My other two brothers were fine where they were.

 

This had little to nothing to do with IQ or academic placement, and everything to do with other character, personality, and emotional readiness issues, some of which track to age/developmental ranges. 

 

 

[Lawyer&Mom]

This has me tied in knots. I have an accelerated 2.5 year old with an October birthday. She's also the tallest kid in her preschool class. By a lot. Our cut off is September 1st with the possibility to test in kids born before December. I went to college at 17. I don't want that for her. I was more than ready academically, kinda sorta maybe ready emotionally. And yet the idea of waiting until she is nearly six for K... I think she'd be a menace to society. Nothing better than a big, bored bossy bully, right? (She's a strong personality.) I don't think there is a good answer. I daydream about having her do a year abroad in high school. I had a friend do grade 13 in Germany after graduation but before college...

[Arcadia]

. I had a friend do grade 13 in Germany after graduation but before college...

That is why a gap year is so appealing. There are some outreach programs by local universities for high schoolers here that don't care about age but want the child to be in 9th or above.

 

We also have commuter universities that are decent (2 safety, 1 reach) so if kids don't want to leave home at 17 for college, they could go to those.

[Alice]

I'll give the different perspective from most people here. 

 

My kids have fall birthdays: Nov, Oct and Sept. The cut-off here is Sept 30th. I started my oldest in K when he was 4 and turning 5 in Nov. It was homeschool and he was doing K work so I just called him K. Then the next year I called it 1st, etc. So he has always been the youngest in any grade related activity. Because a lot (it  may be accurate to say most) people with boys red-shirt here he has boys who are in his grade who are 12-15 months older than him. By the time my second son got to K age I was more aware of the arguments to not do what we had done with my first but I ended up doing the same thing so that he and his brother would only be 3 years apart by grade instead of 4. Also, I didn't want my second son to wonder why we treated him differently than his brother...was he not as smart, etc? My daughter falls before the cutoff so I just called her the grade she would be in. 

 

I didn't worry about it because I skipped a grade when I was younger. I have a Feb birthday so I was always very much the youngest and never had any issues. I kind of always liked being the youngest, if anything it made me feel special.  I know many other people feel differently but when I was thinking about what to do with my son I went with my own experience and since it was good I didn't really worry about it that much. I got my driver's license "late" and didn't turn 18 until Feb of my freshman year in college. It was never an issue. 

 

We've never had any issues with my kids. Factors that have helped: 

-They are tall for their age so it's not obvious they are younger. In fact, they are often one of the tallest even though they are one of the youngest. 
 

-Genetically we all go through puberty early. My oldest is 12 and in 7th grade but very much going through puberty. People are always surprised to hear his age. I think it would actually be more awkward for him to be in 6th grade now and so much more developed than other boys his age. 
 

-Because of size and puberty we haven't found sports to be an issue. 
 

-We've never found it a problem to register for anything based on grade rather than age, except one homeschool group. :) 
 

-Before starting K they already tended to hang out with kids slightly older. As Garga said earlier, both boys had good friends who were only a few months older but would have been a grade older by the cut-off. I think keeping them in the same grade as helped those friendships stay strong because the friends are in public and private school and I think would have eventually felt the difference of being a grade older. 

 

I'm not necessarily saying that you should have them be the youngest. But just wanted to give the perspective that it can work fine since usually when this question is asked it's very much swayed the other way. 

 

[vonfirmath]

Of course, Mr. Ellie, whose birthday is September 7, would have graduated from high school a whole year later, and he would have joined the Air Force a whole year later, and he would have gotten back to San Diego a whole year later, and we might never have met. :-)

 

Or maybe they would have worked with his parents. My birthday is September 4 and I went to school in Texas (which even back then was a Sept 1 cutoff). But my parents could see I'd be bored silly in Kindergarten so they took me in to the school and I guess I was tested. But I started 1st grade the year I should have been in K (evidently K was half day back then so my parents had to pay half tuition that year because the state would only pay for me as a K child.)  And I just took off from there. Looking back, there was no point I was at a disadvantage for starting "early" and I was more than ready to learn. 

 

An advantage of homeschooling is that you can teach to the child and their knowledge. In school. if you are ahead, you end up marking time and waiting to get to the juicy new stuff while you go over and over and over the same stuff again for those kids who have NOT gotten it yet.

And finally in high school, you can choose what classes to be in and go at your own speed (to a greater extent)  YES, I was in Gifted and Talented (what they called it back then). But I still did a lot of what felt to me going over the same stuff I already knew. Thankfully they actually read books then. So I was exposed to a lot of books I may not have read on my own otherwise.

 

[4KookieKids]

You all are so helpful.

 

The more I've thought about it, the more I realize that I'm only second guessing our decision because of outside influences at this point. Despite the fact that the kids are bright and doing moderately accelerated work, and despite the fact that they are large for their age (same size as a lot of kids two or three years older around us, so do have a lot of older friends), and despite the fact that I think they COULD handle it, I feel like they really are just young still. They struggle some with emotional issues, anxiety (which runs in the family), possibly adhd, and lacking the coordination that their older playmates have.

 

They generally just seem more innocent (naive maybe) and have a hard time when their older friends are paying some complicated game that they don't understand and they feel like they're just making up rules as they go along. My gut is to keep them in their grades purely by age, since I don't have to worry about them being bored academically or anything like that in an actual school.

[J-rap]

Two of my children have late summer birthdays, and another mid-fall.  We held the summer birthday kids back a year since we were starting them in public school and that seemed to be what many people did here.  Plus, I thought if I could have them home an extra year and give them more confidence, etc. before sending them off, why not?

 

That worked out well for several years, elementary school - early middle school.  But at some point, they felt they just didn't fit in as well, and they actually felt more connected to the kids a grade level higher.  They were both tall for their age and bright, and though I don't think holding them back was detrimental to them, I think they would have been more content in high school if we had started them a year earlier.  So I would say that unless you have a good reason to hold them back a year, I'd send them.

 

For my dd who had a mid-fall birthday, we actually ended up moving her ahead a grade in high school (so she basically skipped 9th grade), and that was perfect.  

[Arcadia]

My gut is to keep them in their grades purely by age, since I don't have to worry about them being bored academically or anything like that in an actual school.

You can adjust up or down every year on paperwork. Nothing is cast in stone.

 

Even for talent search programs, they accepted the grade that I declared my kids are in without question as long as they are homeschoolers. I had an interesting email correspondence with a CTY staff who mistakenly put DS11 in 7th instead of 6th :lol:

 

DS10 felt better being youngest than oldest which was why he asked for a grade skip. That was when he was 8 and feeling very "behind" in grade level. He had questioned why he was the oldest from K though because my kids did summer art classes which happen to group by grade level rather than age.

[Meriwether]

I have this issue with my kids. One has an August birthday. I would have red shirted him if he had gone to school. He was not mature enough for school when he was a newly minted five year old. Another has a September birthday. He started just before he turned five. He can't spell worth a darn, but aside from spelling he is at a fourth grade level. I call him a third grader after calling him a second grader two years in a row. That was a direct result of realizing my predicament with Dd12. Dsl has a May birthday, so not close to the cutoff. She started a few months after turning four because she wanted to and was ready in every conceivable way. A few years ago I realized her present course was going to have her leaving for college a few months after turning 17. I've been struggling with how to handle it since then. I'm planning on a high school worthy year next year just in case it is 9th grade. But maybe it will be 8th, and then what will she have to do for that 13th year? She will have to keep progressing in those upper level math and science courses. I don't know, but I am uncomfortably aware that I am trying to play both sides and doing neither as well as if I would just commit.

 

I have finally learned with Dd6. She is doing 1st Grade work now, but I am calling her a Kinder until next September. If she ends up going to college at 17.5 that is fine, but I'm not going to set up that expectation when she is little.

[FairProspects]

There can be some negative consequences to being young for the grade, even if maturity and academics are a non-issue:

 

My oldest wanted to apply to a summer program.  In order to apply to the program, the students had to have completed 10th grade and turned 16 by the end of June.  Those students who had completed 10th grade, but had later summer birthdays were not able to apply. 

 

A good friend's daughter had a September birthday and was youngest in her grade at school. (The cutoff was September 30th at that time, but the other kids with September birthday's at her school were a year older)  My friend said that being young for her age even affected her in college.  The daughter was a finalist for a summer internship at the end of her junior year.  However, when they found out that she was not 21,  they told her to apply again the following summer.  Apparently, a lot of networking occurred after hours in places that required you to be 21 to enter.  My friend's daughter was looking to apply to grad schools during senior year and having that internship on her resume would have been a big boost to her application.

 

And this is exactly why our private school now insists on a firm June cutoff. They have high school students applying for special opportunities every single year and they have also had the age issue hit their students in the past. Age is no small consideration at the higher levels either.