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Everything posted by SanDiegoMom

  1. My 15 year old son is eating alone. In fact he doesn't have to because his twin sister is there too, but she eats super fast and ditches him to go to her next class to read. He is in the process of joining clubs (deadline is this Friday) so hopefully some of the lunchtime clubs will bring him people to hang out with. He does not mind eating alone that much -- he's very wary of becoming friends with people he will find annoying. He would think that much worse than eating alone. I'm just planning to make sure he has a good book with him from now on, so he's not just randomly playing games on his phone.
  2. I was forced to go twice on Sundays and every Wednesday for kid activities and choir. My parents were all about the routine, less about the actual substance, so even if they had known that the kids would bully and tease and have in groups and out groups, they wouldn't have cared. The church was filled with hypocritical people in positions of leadership, and overall it was a very negative experience from 6th grade on. I left the church at age 16 and never looked back. In retrospect, if we had changed churches, maybe it would have made a difference. But my parents do not like change, and I grew more and more unhappy, until I finally demanded to quit.
  3. She uses Tiimo now. She used Brilli before.
  4. My daughter is on Strattera and Vyvanse. She has terrible working memory, and Strattera helps that. So she is "ok" on Strattera, but great on both.
  5. Mine uses an app to keep her on track with a daily routine. She sets up her room the night before with clothes, pills, water, and a protein bar. Then when her alarm goes off she checks the schedule while it dings each item so she can stay on track. This system has only really gotten pretty solid this past year, even though she's been on meds for three. Mine gets anxiety when her dosage is too high - which it was when Ritalin suppressed her appetite, which made her foggy headed all the time (from lack of food) which meant she asked for a higher dose, which suppressed her appetite more... She's on Vyvanse now and it works much better for her.
  6. There's Sluggish Cognitive Tempo, which is not an official diagnosis but sounds to me like ADHD minus the H. Dr. Russell Barkley has advocated for this to become an official DX. My daughter looked very much like this on really bad days, but she has plenty of the H traits so it's pretty obvious she has combined type. Talks really fast, interrupts people, thoughts flying non stop. For her, diagnosis didn't just help with school. Adhd affects one's day to day life very drastically. It's not just avoiding hard work (though that was par for the course -- avoiding anything until the last minute and then fear of failure would kick in to motivate her). But it affects the time it takes her to shower, whether she remembers to go to bed, remembering to eat, realizing that she's actually sick and not just "out of it" again.... and all of those get so much easier with meds. It is so frustrating to hear about kids that take meds to do better on tests. It just makes access to these drugs so much harder for people who really need it just for day to day life.
  7. My ds definitely rates Int Number Theory the hardest. For comparison the Aops calc class was relatively easy.
  8. I think I will look into that for the next course then. Thank you!
  9. I don't think exactly that my son needs the most rigorous, but he does need something to do after AP Calc now, and I just don't know what I don't know. So I figured this class would be commensurate with any other Linear Algebra Class. If it was a choice between this class and a community college class (which are also online) I figured this one would be more challenging than those at lease. He did decide, however, to take the AOPS Group Theory class this semester. Just kicking the can down the road until next year I suppose. Ideally next year we will find something that is in person!
  10. I think that depends on who you talk to. My husband and most of his closest friends deployed there at one point or another in their career - my husband there for a year - and most of them saw this as expected.
  11. Ah, I see. If it stays merely as high school credit (and needing departmental approval) then it might make more sense to take the cheaper AOPS class in the format that he is already familiar with! I'll have to run it by him. He doesn't seem to care either way about the content -- he's more focused on just getting adjusted to high school (since last year was pretty disjointed with only three months in person with half the amount of kids). Right now for him math is just do the next thing.... only there seems to be too many choices of what the next thing would be. He just knows he wants a break from Calculus before going into the next level, and he usually just depends on me to choose. Sigh.
  12. Ok, these are obviously niche classes and I only know a couple of boardies whose kids have taken these. My ds submitted his App to take the Linear Algebra through Stanford University Online Math and Physics, but as a back up I signed him up for the Group Theory class just in case he can't take the other one. I highly doubt he will be rejected -- it's one online class, he got a 5 in AP Calc BC, but I just like to make sure of everything. Plus of course Aops is a LOT cheaper than the other! Does anyone have an opinion on these classes? I think @quark's ds took Group Theory, and @Arcadia's ds took a class through Stanford? Wondering how the class operated, (we know how AOPS run, but not the ULO classes quite as much) if they enjoyed it, if it was a massive amount of work. I am just out of my league here -- I had planned for him to take an in person Linear Algebra class, but it looks like it's not running, and hasn't since Covid. The community colleges here are still all online, so I figured if it is going to be online, might as well choose the provider. The Stanford course has the benefit of getting college credit if the exams are proctored, but right now I don't know how important that is to ds. I am assuming I will just add the AOPS class to the transcript like we will be doing Clover Chemistry's Organic and Biochem class- as an extra class. He's in brick and mortar school so the majority of the classes will be through them, and we aren't really going through their process to get classes approved for high school credit. They will only give two classes worth of credit anyway. Any thoughts, no matter how random? I'm just second guessing my second guesses, as usual.
  13. My husband will sometimes (very rarely) tell one of my kids something along of the lines of "you don't feel that" or "you aren't really upset". It's infrequent enough that I haven't said anything about it to him yet, and I have put in extra time with them one on one talking about their feelings and emotions to make sure they are not doubting themselves. But that is definitely gaslighting -- how on earth can a teen be expected to self regulate if they doubt themselves and what they are feeling in the first place?
  14. My daughter has been training her 4-5 month old labradoodle to ring a bell when she needs to go potty. The other day she rang the bell so my daughter got up from the table to let her out. Then she ran back and jumped on dd's chair to try to get her food! This dog is going to be a handful!
  15. We bought our house last February. Our house value according to both Zillow and Realtor.com are now 230k and 190k more, respectively. Insane.
  16. I knew I was gifted (tested in Kindergarten and put in gifted pull out then) but it wasn't really discussed. My sister and I were often told we were smart, but there still wasn't a lot of emphasis on learning -- it was more about being good in class and not getting in trouble. Well, my fourth grade teacher told my mom I was headed for a life in prison when I forged my dad's signature on a test, I got placed in all day time out for talking non stop, and by middle school I was just the mediocre one between my sister and I. I felt like an alien at school, zoned out during class, forgot homework constantly, and just gave up until high school. When I started dating my now husband I turned things around. Realized I was actually smart - but was just bored and lacked good executive functioning and a reason to do well in class.
  17. My son took the second administration paper exam and got a 4 in chem and a 5 in Calc BC. He is happy with his results and I am happy he took the paper exams! The digital sounds like it would have been a terrible fit.
  18. I have two anecdotes to add: We bought a house 5 years ago and it came with a french door fridge. The fridge was 4 years old. When it hit five years old the compressor went and the repairs were not worth it so we bought a new one. Fast forward to last year when we moved and bought a house that came with a much more expensive 5 year old french door fridge. (LG, linear compressor, super fancy looking) Within three weeks it broke. When we replaced the first fridge I did a lot of research and it seemed like french door fridges had the most reliability issues. Regular freezer on top had the least and side by sides were in the middle. Because having a water and ice dispenser is so important to us, we replaced both with side by sides. The space is lacking definitely, but we just want it to last longer than five years. In our last house we had a stove that was a double oven, but the top one was small with just one rack. It was awesome. It preheated in like 3 minutes, and I used it so much more than the bottom oven. I loved it!
  19. I think girls take longer to potty train than boys too -- our female labradoodle is super smart (smarter than our boy Bernedoodle) but he just seems to have a stronger bladder. He slept through the night from the first night - 6 or 7 hours, while she had to go potty about every 3 hours!
  20. We have not one, but two puppies in the house! We got Josie, the red Labradoodle, for my daughter's college graduation, and our beloved Golden passed away this year unexpectedly so we got Leo, the black Bernedoodle. They are 4 months and 9 weeks respectively. They are the best of friends. Josie will get to about 30 pounds and Leo to about 45.
  21. Being an ally (depending on how close you are to the person) is also not just accepting everything they say without question. My friends and family challenge me and make me think. Why should this be any different? My oldest daughter (21) recently said "I think I am demisexual". I said no sh*t, Sherlock, you spent your life reading and debating and adore anything academic, of course you feel you need to have someone be intelligent to be attracted to them. She laughed and that was it. I would of course not do that with someone who wasn't in my family.
  22. I have a distinct memory of tracking a girl's outfits in middle school -- she had a schedule for when she wore her clothes. Her favorite outfit was denim jeans, a white top and a denim jean jacket that matched the jeans perfectly. It was her Wednesday outfit. She was very popular and one of the "rich" girls at school, so this was the one thing that made her stand out in a negative light! My daughter, homeschooled until ninth and then virtual schooled until March, refused to listen to my requests to wear different outfits. She would come down in the same pants sometimes three days in a row. Ugh. Her sister brought her shopping and got some "in style" clothes", but they weren't as comfortable as the baggy sweatpants and librarian looking sweater she loved. I figured we would just try more this coming year -- she did have PE last year with no changing allowed, so she had a point in wanting to be comfortable!
  23. An important survey that just came out a couple of months ago addressed recent detransitioners. It was a survey of 237 males and females, around half had started socially transitioning before 18 and 25 percent medically transitioning. The goal was to assess the medical care surrounding their transition and detransition health care. Important to note was the reasons given for detransitioning -- a big component of activists' platform is that people detransition because of transphobia in those around them. According to the survey 70 percent detransitioned when they realized their dysphoria was related to other issues, 62 percent cited health concerns, and on down until only 13 percent said it was lack of support and 10 percent due to discrimination. 45 percent found alternatives to deal with their dysphoria, 34 percent found that it had resolved over time, 30 percent had their co-morbid health issues resolve. https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/00918369.2021.1919479
  24. There is a series of 7 essays by Angus Fox written on Quillete about specifically Rogd boys that is pretty insightful. A lot of moms he talked to had experiences with rushed affirmation and offers of hormones. https://quillette.com/author/angus-fox/
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