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About SanDiegoMom

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    San Diego
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    Crazy Lady

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  1. Maybe the difference is how someone experiences ADHD? I mean, if someone has problems with external distractions, then I could see more of the tunnel metaphor. My daughter is very internally distracted and rarely sees anything if her brain is too loud. She's one that could go brush her teeth and just stand there in front of the mirror for 40 minutes not brushing or moving -- completely in her own thoughts.
  2. I agree with the posters before -- it is so hard to let go from the direct advice to the advice when needed role. It is a work in progress! I have learned to bite my tongue a lot. The other issue of the pendulum swinging towards extreme "wokeness" is something I am seeing in my own kids. Despite all their advantages, they seem sometimes to focus more on perceived grievances. The other day when my oldest daughter and I were trying to help her sister with her math homework and dd21 was trying to make light of the difficulty by sharing her own adhd experience with math homework (NEVER EAS
  3. Weird. Those are all things that would happen to my daughter. Her thoughts are so loud that she just doesn't see the stuff around her. Meds make her thoughts quieter so that she can focus on the external better. It's a pretty easy check too. When she first took one dose of Ritalin she knew. She got calm and productive and noticed things around her.
  4. This. I can see a huge difference in my daughter when her meds are working vs not. When they aren't, I might be watching her eat and see food fall and get missed, or see her fingers get messy and she doesn't know. Ive see her carry her key around while she is looking for her keys. When her meds are right her adhd is barely noticeable. She's on on Vyvanse, Strattera and Lexapro. It works. The thing that doesn't work we have found out is sugar. She is very sensitive to sugar (she struggles with sugar cravings) and if she overeats sugar it makes the adhd worse the next day. So t
  5. I am so sorry. I have a pretty severely adhd older daughter but my husband has good EF. She was a mess in middle school and I actually gave up real parenting of her in 10th grade -- she was so strong willed. But since she was so strong willed, she eventually taught herself what to do. Now she's at a point where about 85 percent of the time she can take care of herself well. The other 15 she usually gets out of sync, has bad sleep, eats tons of sugar, and crashes. Then she spends the next few days picking herself up again. These times are getting less and less!
  6. Maybe deep down she knows the dangers of what you are saying, but she doesn't feel capable of enforcing limits? For instance with my oldest, I knew what boundaries I SHOULD be setting, but I had basically given up parenting her because it worsened our relationship. So I let so much of it go to preserve our relationship. Or it could be laziness? Sometimes people choose not to set rules they know they don't want to enforce, but they will give excuses as to why they can't. Screens in the bedroom at night is an example for me -- i gave up on it for my oldest even though she really suff
  7. A lot of very extroverted parents would say they could never homeschool, it sounds so hard and draining. There was so much about public school that was hard and draining, I just have to laugh.
  8. I think the problem that comes in is the fact that some of us are unreliable narrators! For instance my dad is very clearly on the spectrum (and possibly adhd). He definitely stims, his usual mode is anxious watchful waiting, he loves very rigid routines, he hates surprises or change. He is retired now but refuses to do anything like volunteer at the library, offer free tax help (he's an accountant) and get's very thrown off when a restaurant changes the meal they offer on a certain day or complains when a commercial has changed subtly. From all of our viewpoints, his world has contracted si
  9. To the original poster @kand, my son was recently dx'ed and he was the most wonderful baby on earth. He is a twin and his sister was the bane of my existence, crying non stop, being just generally unhappy and cranky. We didn't have the energy to get the the root cause (twins PLUS husband deployed, fun!). But my son was so smiley, so easily made happy, hit all the milestones, eye contact all the time.... And then around age 3 1/it was like their dispositions switched and suddenly my daughter was so easy going and he was NOT. Like, he could still be happy, but he became for the most part ve
  10. Both my adhd'er and my newly diagnosed Aspie struggled with family get togethers, meltdowns, retreated to quiet zones MUCH more frequently than did their cousins. But if you are not super close it sounds like a pretty personal subject to bring up. Or maybe there has been a diagnosis but it's not something they are sharing. I know I had the choice to share or not share with my sister (whom I'm not super close with). I decided to let my mom tell her when they talked. But my son really lands so far in just the quirky side so he can choose to divulge or not when he likes. Just be
  11. That would make sense, as I see that play out with my son, who also has a huge gap between IQ and processing. And the sensory issues are the same for him.
  12. Talking real time to someone who isn't a very close friend is stressful. I have two very close mom friends and I can go for 3 hours non stop talking with them, no problem. When they aren't as close it's a lot harder-- I get very fatigued and my thinking really starts to feel like it's sputtering. It's worse if I am tired already or if there is background noise. I have to concentrate very hard to keep up.
  13. I struggle with this a lot -- a friend has a problem, I dive really deep into it, write way too much about it, suddenly look very officious, and then I get nothing or very little back and I realize I did it again.
  14. I voted no, but adjacent to it, though I did score 32 on the test. My 14 year old son was recently dx'ed. I also have a probably Autistic dad and a mom with extreme anxiety! Fun! Edited: I went into a long boring story but I realized I am just blabbering because i am tired and it's late!
  15. My daughter takes 10 mg of Lexapro and 30 mg of Vyvanse, along with 80 mg of Strattera. She went on them all separately. She has no problems. She is 21.
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