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SanDiegoMom

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    Crazy Lady

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  1. My son took the second administration paper exam and got a 4 in chem and a 5 in Calc BC. He is happy with his results and I am happy he took the paper exams! The digital sounds like it would have been a terrible fit.
  2. I have two anecdotes to add: We bought a house 5 years ago and it came with a french door fridge. The fridge was 4 years old. When it hit five years old the compressor went and the repairs were not worth it so we bought a new one. Fast forward to last year when we moved and bought a house that came with a much more expensive 5 year old french door fridge. (LG, linear compressor, super fancy looking) Within three weeks it broke. When we replaced the first fridge I did a lot of research and it seemed like french door fridges had the most reliability issues. Regular freezer on top had the least and side by sides were in the middle. Because having a water and ice dispenser is so important to us, we replaced both with side by sides. The space is lacking definitely, but we just want it to last longer than five years. In our last house we had a stove that was a double oven, but the top one was small with just one rack. It was awesome. It preheated in like 3 minutes, and I used it so much more than the bottom oven. I loved it!
  3. I think girls take longer to potty train than boys too -- our female labradoodle is super smart (smarter than our boy Bernedoodle) but he just seems to have a stronger bladder. He slept through the night from the first night - 6 or 7 hours, while she had to go potty about every 3 hours!
  4. We have not one, but two puppies in the house! We got Josie, the red Labradoodle, for my daughter's college graduation, and our beloved Golden passed away this year unexpectedly so we got Leo, the black Bernedoodle. They are 4 months and 9 weeks respectively. They are the best of friends. Josie will get to about 30 pounds and Leo to about 45.
  5. Being an ally (depending on how close you are to the person) is also not just accepting everything they say without question. My friends and family challenge me and make me think. Why should this be any different? My oldest daughter (21) recently said "I think I am demisexual". I said no sh*t, Sherlock, you spent your life reading and debating and adore anything academic, of course you feel you need to have someone be intelligent to be attracted to them. She laughed and that was it. I would of course not do that with someone who wasn't in my family.
  6. I have a distinct memory of tracking a girl's outfits in middle school -- she had a schedule for when she wore her clothes. Her favorite outfit was denim jeans, a white top and a denim jean jacket that matched the jeans perfectly. It was her Wednesday outfit. She was very popular and one of the "rich" girls at school, so this was the one thing that made her stand out in a negative light! My daughter, homeschooled until ninth and then virtual schooled until March, refused to listen to my requests to wear different outfits. She would come down in the same pants sometimes three days in a row. Ugh. Her sister brought her shopping and got some "in style" clothes", but they weren't as comfortable as the baggy sweatpants and librarian looking sweater she loved. I figured we would just try more this coming year -- she did have PE last year with no changing allowed, so she had a point in wanting to be comfortable!
  7. An important survey that just came out a couple of months ago addressed recent detransitioners. It was a survey of 237 males and females, around half had started socially transitioning before 18 and 25 percent medically transitioning. The goal was to assess the medical care surrounding their transition and detransition health care. Important to note was the reasons given for detransitioning -- a big component of activists' platform is that people detransition because of transphobia in those around them. According to the survey 70 percent detransitioned when they realized their dysphoria was related to other issues, 62 percent cited health concerns, and on down until only 13 percent said it was lack of support and 10 percent due to discrimination. 45 percent found alternatives to deal with their dysphoria, 34 percent found that it had resolved over time, 30 percent had their co-morbid health issues resolve. https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/00918369.2021.1919479
  8. There is a series of 7 essays by Angus Fox written on Quillete about specifically Rogd boys that is pretty insightful. A lot of moms he talked to had experiences with rushed affirmation and offers of hormones. https://quillette.com/author/angus-fox/
  9. I tried the same -- three kids, two girls and a boy. I always had every type of toy -- doll houses, Thomas the trains, legos, dinosaurs, airplanes, lots of dolls and stuffed animals. My two daughters, even though they are VERY different (oldest is very strong, independent, aggressively confident at times, while younger daughter is quiet, gentle, and dances ballet) they both acted very motherly towards all their toys. My oldest loved the trains, but they were always made to talk to each other and never actually used the tracks. She loved her doll stroller. There was one funny time when the younger kids were 2 1/2 and they were both playing with the twin baby dolls. My daughter gently rocked the baby until she "woke up" fed it, changed it. My son grabbed the baby doll and started pounding it on the changing table, yelling "wake up baby! Time to wake up!" and then threw it on the floor. And that was the last time he played with it.
  10. Here is the study linked which quotes the 35 percent: https://adc.bmj.com/content/103/7/631.full?ijkey=HsMwyZDRtsKu83z&keytype=ref And here is a paper which quotes up to 48 percent: https://www.icf-consultations.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/Taking-the-lid-off-the-box.pdf They use the "Social Responsiveness Scale (SRS): a 65-item quantitative measure of autistic features in 4- to 18-year-olds across a range of severity. It is filled in by parents/carers as part of the psychosocial assessment. It is a validated measure and has been deemed appropriate for use in clinical settings and scores in the severe range are strongly associated with a clinical diagnosis of an ASC (e.g. Constantino et al., 2003). SRS results are provided here for those young people who did not have an ASC diagnosis." This paper says 48 percent scored mild to severe, and the first one was 35 percent as moderate to severe. If you look up Keira Bell Vs Tavistock, this was case where a detransitioner sued the clinic and won for their lack of safeguarding and rushing towards hormonal intervention too quickly. There was an additional claimant: Mrs A, who was the mother of an autistic child who similarly raised concerns and was not heeded. The clinic has had massive turnover prior to this case due to the feeling within the clinic that the affirmative approach was too fast and not catching the other confounding issues that teens were presenting with, the biggest one autism. 35 clinicians resigned over the past couple of years. I think the US will be seeing similar lawsuits coming.
  11. There are multiple studies of varying sizes that show the desistance rates to be between 65 and 90 percent, with I think the majority saying around 80. Here is one: https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyt.2021.632784/full Here is a blog post by James Cantor, who has compiled the rates from different studies: http://www.sexologytoday.org/2016/01/do-trans-kids-stay-trans-when-they-grow_99.html And a fuller amount of info at genderhq.org: https://www.genderhq.org/trans-children-gender-dysphoria-desistance-gay
  12. Yes, I know she mentions it at the beginning of the podcast episode, though it's not mentioned on her website. She is in Ireland though, and I am pretty sure everything she runs is full right now. The group is for both parents and siblings.
  13. @Mrs Tiggywinkle If you have some time, I would recommend a podcast that I mentioned on the other thread, called Gender: A Wider Lens. Stella O'Malley is a co host and she talks about her experience growing up with severe gender dysphoria. She was convinced she was a boy, played only with the boys, dressed like the boys... and when puberty hit it sent her to a dark place where she confronted the truth that she wasn't. She talks about the struggle. But because transgenderism wasn't as well known, she just went through the crucible and came out accepting her gender. And she is very thankful. But she says it was very deepset from 3-10 and took a long time to really resolve. There are others that it doesn't resolve and transition does happen later on. BUT there are studies that social transition does tend to influence a child's conception of themselves, and it makes it much harder to resolve their idea of their gender. And many kids with gender dysphoria at a young age go on to be merely gay or lesbian. Is this your child with autism? It is interesting, I have a friend who's son as a teenager (diagnosed Asperger's) was convinced he was a rock star. Like, not becoming one, not just liked to play in bands, but literally was a famous rock star. His dad was really befuddled and tried to really talk to him about it, convince him he wasn't. Eventually he gave up and ignored it. And after a few years it just .... went away. Maybe not quite the same thing, but it feels a little similar.
  14. @freesia Yes, this is a big concern. At the Tavistock clinic in England - the gender clinic for the NHS - they estimated at least 35 percent of the referrals had either autism or autistic traits. These kids are already gender non conforming, which is absolutely fine. It's the medicalization of this that is the problem. For us, our kid was telling their therapist that the anxiety was due to gender dyphoria. As time went on they were feeling a LOT happier, but still had anxiety. I tracked when the anxiety would occur and talked about it with the therapist. It was usually when routines were changed, when transitions happened, when there was something NEW that they didn't know what to expect, when they were ALONE (in person school improved everything tremendously) or when there were big academic expectations. But this kid was meeting people, making friends at school and at TKD, and there was no anxiety during those times. It just didn't track in my mind that gender was the root of the anxiety, when all the the things seemed like autistic - centered anxiety. The therapist agreed -- thankfully she is a generalist and is treating the whole person. She is working on expanding the toolbox for dealing with anxiety and teaching how to connect with the body, rather than feel disassociated from it.
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