Talk to me about grade placement with early fall bdays

[theelfqueen]

My Oldest has a late October birthday. In the school district he would have attended, he missed the cutoff significantly. From an academic standpoint he was more than ready for Kindergarten -- reading solidly. We ditched the school district for a private school and bucked the cutofff. He blossomed in the small private kindergarten and first grade he attended. Then we moved and he started at public school, with his grade - but the youngest. On the whole, he did VERY well academically all through school. Graduated in the top of his high school class... Went to college on a Full Ride and is excelling there. He will graduate with a double major and a minor. He was always tall, and mature looking. So people didn't really notice.

 

So I don't regret it. And it worked out well.

 

But he was the youngest in his class every year. And when he arrived in high school and he was the youngest person in the building ... 13 with 19 year olds. And there were times throughout the years that I had to remind some adult that no, he was NOT immature, he was a year younger than his peers. And he definitely faced challenges in sports (wrestling). There were definitely challenges to be faced.

 

When he went to swear in for Air Force ROTC - he was only 17 and his father and I had to sign release documents.  And when he was moving into the dorms we had to stock him up on OTC medications that he couldn't buy for himself... and make his girlfriend (who was 18) promise to take care of those things if needed.

Edited April 4, 2016 by theelfqueen

[Zinnia]

I have June, July, and September 1 birthdays. I have made all 3 boys the oldest in the class. I like the extra chance for maturity.

[BlsdMama]

We have a daughter with assign early September birthday here. We'll decide grade level by the time she is thirteen based on academic ability, just in time for high school. Until then it isn't very relevant.

[LEK]

My oldest dd was born 3 weeks before out cutoff. Had I sent her to a school "on time" she would have been 4yo for the first half of her K year.  Out of my mothers group (all kids born the same month) it was pretty evenly split between those that sent their kids to school as 4yo's and those that decided to wait an extra year.

 

As my kid has never stepped foot in a school the age thing was never really a big concern for me. I decided to start her on time as a 4 1/2 yo with the idea in the back of my mind that if I needed to adjust her grade later on I could easily do so. Her age has never really been a factor due to being at home as I have adjusted her curriculum to meet her development, maturity, learning style and abilities just as I have done for each kid regardless of age or birthday. She is now in 4th grade and quite asynchronous in her learning, reading at 8th grade level, math 6th grade, writing 3rd grade, and socially she leans toward older kids preferring to socialize with 5-6th graders. I am not sure if there is a single grade level that adequately describes her but 4th grade will do for now :)

[luuknam]

The cutoff here in Texas is September 1.

 

Just about everyone in Texas red shirts birthdays that close to the cut off anyway. Especially boys. 

 

I just wanted to second vonfirmath's response to that - I lived in rural north Texas, and I didn't know anyone who redshirted. How common redshirting is really depends on location. Even here in NY people in the upper middle class suburb are more likely to redshirt than the people in the middle class suburb we live in, and among the poor I suspect redshirting is practically nonexistent (free day care for the kids, y'all - why delay that a year?).

 

My oldest has a mid-August birth date, and started pre-K (in Texas) at 3 years 3 days old because he had an IEP (mixed regular/special ed). He then did pre-K again the next year, and started K days after turning 5. Through pre-K to 2nd grade it hasn't been an issue (now in 3rd grade he's homeschooled, because I wanted to). He's tiny for his age (5th percentile - he's 4'0" at 8.5yo, so he's about 4-5" shorter than the average 3rd grader, but if I'd put him in 2nd grade, he'd be one of the oldest kids and *still* be shorter than average - at least it makes more sense being the shortest when you're also the youngest). His classmates did see him sort of as the class pet (not in a bad way). He's got an ASD, so the other kids were more forgiving of his social faux pas because he was young and small. Here in our part of NY the cut-off is Dec 1st.

 

Things to consider: depending on what state you live in, you'll have to submit test scores every year. If your kids can academically hack that (as well as not freak out about a test), it's not a big deal. If in doubt, it makes sense to put them in the lower grade so it's easier to pass the test. Also consider your family history. My birthday is a month before the cut-off (where I'm from), and when I was in 3rd grade my teacher recommended that I and one other kid (who was 2 weeks younger than me) move to 4th grade halfway during the school year. Our parents decided not to. I eventually ended up skipping 9th grade, and was much happier with kids a year older than me. The kids' bio-dad barely missed the background, was bored in gifted school because stuff was too easy, and eventually ended up dropping out of high school because his parents wouldn't let him graduate in 3 years and took the GED instead. So, given our backgrounds, I'm inclined to put my kids in the higher grade. But, if your family background is different, you might be inclined to put them in the lower grade. Different things work for different people. And while the apple doesn't always fall near the tree, but most of the time it does.

[musicianmom]

*

Edited May 22, 2022 by musicianmom

[vonfirmath]

My oldest has a mid-August birth date, and started pre-K (in Texas) at 3 years 3 days old because he had an IEP (mixed regular/special ed). He then did pre-K again the next year, and started K days after turning 5. Through pre-K to 2nd grade it hasn't been an issue (now in 3rd grade he's homeschooled, because I wanted to). He's tiny for his age (5th percentile - he's 4'0" at 8.5yo, so he's about 4-5" shorter than the average 3rd grader, but if I'd put him in 2nd grade, he'd be one of the oldest kids and *still* be shorter than average - at least it makes more sense being the shortest when you're also the youngest). His classmates did see him sort of as the class pet (not in a bad way). He's got an ASD, so the other kids were more forgiving of his social faux pas because he was young and small. Here in our part of NY the cut-off is Dec 1st.

 

Things to consider: depending on what state you live in, you'll have to submit test scores every year. If your kids can academically hack that (as well as not freak out about a test), it's not a big deal. If in doubt, it makes sense to put them in the lower grade so it's easier to pass the test. Also consider your family history. My birthday is a month before the cut-off (where I'm from), and when I was in 3rd grade my teacher recommended that I and one other kid (who was 2 weeks younger than me) move to 4th grade halfway during the school year. Our parents decided not to. I eventually ended up skipping 9th grade, and was much happier with kids a year older than me. The kids' bio-dad barely missed the background, was bored in gifted school because stuff was too easy, and eventually ended up dropping out of high school because his parents wouldn't let him graduate in 3 years and took the GED instead. So, given our backgrounds, I'm inclined to put my kids in the higher grade. But, if your family background is different, you might be inclined to put them in the lower grade. Different things work for different people. And while the apple doesn't always fall near the tree, but most of the time it does.

 

You are right about family background. My husband is pretty adamantly against grade skipping. He went to the Robinson program at University of Washington in 7th grade and then went right on to college afterward. He thinks it was a big mistake (socially).  I have tried to point out he would not have been better off bored in HS if he was ready for college level work (he was. He got all As for the first few years and was tutoring classmates -- tall for his age and they were not aware of how young he was. He even got hit on sometimes until he mentioned he could not drive yet.)

 

[mom2scouts]

All of our local school districts have an August 1st cutoff date because they don't want any 4 year olds in K. The state cutoff is September 30th, but it's extremely rare to see anyone with an August or September birthday starting school the year they turn 5. There are even many parents who redshirt June and July birthdays around here.

[scoutingmom]

We have a Dec 31st cutoff here, and I have an early January kid. The school division we are in holds the cutoff strictly. A move about 1 mile away allows January kids into grade 1 if they test ready.

 

My daughter was definitely ready, so she has been in the older grade. It has worked well in Scouting too... she moved from Beavers to Cubs early and is moving from Cubs to Scouts early this year and it has been the right thing.

 

I do worry about as she gets older on if it will be right or not.

 

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[SeaConquest]

My youngest has an August 8th bday, and I can already see in his preschool class how being one of the youngest has negatively impacted him. The expectations for behavior (especially when compared to the older girls in his class) just feel age-inappropriate for him, on some level. I have no idea if we will homeschool him, but, I can definitely understand why red-shirting him would be a good idea.

 

Quoting myself. I read this article the other day, and it has been weighing heavily on my mind re my youngest:

 

http://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2016/03/10/469929700/a-late-birth-date-could-boost-the-risk-of-an-adhd-diagnosis

Edited April 5, 2016 by SeaConquest

[Arcadia]

Quoting myself. I read this article the other day, and it has been weighing heavily on my mind re my youngest:

 

http://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2016/03/10/469929700/a-late-birth-date-could-boost-the-risk-of-an-adhd-diagnosis

How are the teachers for the on-site classes at your oldest son's charter? Are they the "kids will be kids" kind or "every kid that can't sit still has ADHD" kind. My DS11 opt out of preschool after a term because he thinks the school is "silly". He might be happy in a Waldorf preschool-5th school while looking back he would have exceed academically the local Montessori preschools which ends at pre-K.

 

For an accelerated learner like your son, I would opt for a charter with stipend to pay for some outside classes if you find it tiring to overseer all subjects yourself. State testing isn't until 3rd grade so you can easily withdraw before 3rd.

 

My DS10 is my "wiggle butt" and none of the public school teachers question his "hyperactivity" despite being oldest for grade entering K at 5 years 8 months due to missing cutoff. Locally the boys I know with an ADHD IEP are the frequently "dancing on furniture, bouncing off walls" kind. The girls I know locally with ADHD diagnosis present differently in behavior.

 

It was a lot more difficult to get subject acceleration and grade skip approved for DS10 while it was hyper easy to get approval for DS11. The expectations were raised because DS10 was oldest for his grade so As were taken as to be expected. Kind of like you are so old you should be able to do it. The expectations for DS11 on the other hand was at whatever was the local norm so his As were taken as validation for subject acceleration because he hit the ceilings despite being the youngest. DS11 was offered a grade skip which we decline because I didn't want him with 6th graders as a 9 year old.

 

It is kind of bizarre that skipping DS10 from 3rd to 5th (he skip 4th) at his request change strangers perception of ability. The same thing happens if DS11 fake his age to strangers and tell them he is 14.

 

I think it is just human nature if you happen to read my thread about DS11's cello teacher. She forgot he is a beginner and peg expectations based on how old he is. Expectations for cello playing based on age tend to be higher as kids start Suzuki cello young. DS10's flute playing on the other hand fetch lower expectations because kids start flute much later.

 

ETA:

If you put your DS2 with the same charter as your DS7 when he reach K age, you have a good idea of how the wind blows with that charter. If you are putting him in a B&M school that has K teachers expecting "better" behavior, then you could always redshirt and then grade skip later if you need to.

 

My youngest nephew is very bright but took an extra year in middle school because he does not like academics. He is now pursuing his assocs degree at his pace. He is as bright as his older sibling who is a scholar, just not academically interested.

Edited April 5, 2016 by Arcadia

[Bluegoat]

Quoting myself. I read this article the other day, and it has been weighing heavily on my mind re my youngest:

 

http://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2016/03/10/469929700/a-late-birth-date-could-boost-the-risk-of-an-adhd-diagnosis

 

I've read some of this information before, but it's a bit of a strange article.  Like the fellow suggesting that rather than young kids being overdiagnosed, older kids were being underdiagnosed?  Like - there is no evident problem but they have ADHD anyway?  How is that really meaningful?

 

And the suggesting that kids not stay back on this account is also odd.  I can see why they might say - that might not be a solution.  But to say - statistically it makes your child more likely to drop out - seems a very misleading use of statistics.  Yes, kids that are kept back, statistically, are more likely to drop out.  That does not mean that it is never a good choice for a particular student, or even a particular type of problem.  You can't work backwards from the very general to the particular that way.

 

It makes me wonder about how educators are making policy decisions.

[PagesandFields]

I put my late summer older kid in K when he had just turned 6... Though legally he could have started at 5... ( we homeschool)... My reasons are

 

-The "school" for 3-6 year olds is new, and I am a big believer in let them be kids and play...

-If he had gone to Public School that is when I would have started..

-Because of recent school standards the k-2 expectations are often developmentally inappropriate and hard for kids to achieve, yes we homeschool, but if I get hit by a bus, or something happens that forces us to send our kiddos to school, he needs to be in the correct grade...

-I have worked with school kids, and am a trained teacher, and used to work with troubled teenagers... sO

OOoOOO many older kids tell you that their initial troubles began with feeling like they were behind, or stupid... If you talk to teachers of k and 1st grade classes, they will often list 2-3 kiddos that are a bit behind, and the teachers don't realize they are the youngest in the class... Kids and teachers often don't think about it... The difference that confidence, or a belief in oneself, can make in a young child's future possibilities is huge...

-I have secret hopes that my kiddos will do a year or two of community college before they "graduate" from homeschool, that will be easier to achieve if my older isn't hardly 16 when it is a possibility, rather than hardly 17... Because I want them to be able to travel for a year if at all possible...

-finally, I am homeschooling because it gives me the freedom to do what I know is right for my kid... Each kid is different, but I know mine better than everyone else... My mum started school at 4 1/2 with her twin sister and did fine...

[Terabith]

My younger daughter's birthday is April 27. She's highly gifted and was using words like soporific at four. But she's also emotionally immature, highly anxious, and has learning disabilities. So when we started her in private school last year, we put her back a grade. Long term, I don't know if it was the right decision but it definitely was at the time. (And currently).

 

My older daughter's birthday is November 18. We started "kindergarten " at home when she was still four, but when she started school, we put her in the age appropriate grade. I thought she would be one of the oldest, but to my surprise she really isn't. At least a full half of the class is older.

[SKL]

Quoting myself. I read this article the other day, and it has been weighing heavily on my mind re my youngest:

 

http://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2016/03/10/469929700/a-late-birth-date-could-boost-the-risk-of-an-adhd-diagnosis

 

To me, this is proof of overdiagnosis.

 

One of my kids (my eldest) was given a lot of grief for acting her age in 1st grade.  I felt the teacher was punishing me and my kid for being accelerated.  (My younger kid, who already knew everything in 1st grade despite being very young, was not picked on.)  My kid's therepists were adamant that my kid did not have an attention or behavior disorder, but felt she had auditory processing disorder.  So I set out to have her formally tested for that, but the doc immediately labeled her as ADHD before even seeing her based on her age and the fact that she was adopted.  :/  That was the end of that consultation.

 

You don't have to go along with whatever label they want to put on your kid.  Knowing that they tend to overdiagnose younger kids, you will need more convincing if they try that.

 

As for me and my kid, we doubled down on afterschooling and she caught up.  I also made sure she had (has) plenty of physical activity.

 

The next youngest kid in their class is on ADHD meds - and other meds to counter side effects of the ADHD meds.  I respect that her mom would not make that decision lightly, but I can't help wondering if there was pressure on the kid for acting her age.

Edited April 6, 2016 by SKL