Good article on the "going gray" issue...

[G5052]

A discussion on "going gray" after church made me think of this article.  I know we've discussed this before.

 

And yes, I color my hair.  My gray hair is wirey and wild, and I look washed out and tired with gray hair.  Sally Beauty Supply is my friend.

 

But most of my friends are either gray or going gray.  I'm fine with whatever they want to do of course, but I like my brown hair!

 

http://content.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1658058-1,00.html

[DesertBlossom]

I don't know what I'll do for myself. I've only got one gray hair and one wirey gray eyebrow that makes an ocassional appearance.

 

There are some women who I think look fantastic with gray hair. Since I'm low maintenance and would hate the upkeep or dyeing, I hope I look good gray.

[texasmama]

Funny factoid:  I know the Mary twin in the article.  She and I were adjunct professors together, and we are FB friends.   :)

 

I am in the "dye the gray" category. (ETA:  for myself, that is.  I could not care less what anyone else does.)

[Ethel Mertz]

I'm in my mid-50s and have plenty of gray hair. I have no plans to dye my hair as I would seriously hate the process of upkeep. 

 

I have a friend who is 70. She dyes her hair on a regular basis so that she can keep her job as a high school history teacher.

[The Girls' Mom]

Still in my 30s (barely!) and have a lot of gray hair.  I can't imagine trying to keep up with color, especially for the next 30-40 years.  AND I don't want to ever have to go through that growing it out phase.  So....gray it is.  I may do some funky highlights for fun in the future, but I just can't go whole hog.  Too lazy..lol.

 

 

[Susan in TN]

I'm with you, Girls' Mom. I have never dyed my hair - I hate even going to get it cut. So I know I would never bother with the upkeep of coloring. It would always look crazy.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I'm white at my temples.  Not even grey.  My hair is wirey and I look washed out.  But I will not dye my hair.  I have enough allergies and health problems and will not consider adding chemicals into the mix.  Both my sisters who are older than me but don't have health problems dye their hair.  My one sister who has absolutely no filter said "I wondered who that old woman was" the last time she saw me.  Oh well.  

[Ottakee]

I have short hair and am a wash and wear type person.  I have EARNED each and every one of my gray hairs so here I am in my mid 40s with my gray sprouting and not planning on doing anything about it.  It would need to be done every 3-4 weeks and honestly, I don't have the money for that, let alone the time or desire.  Hope my hubby likes me gray.

[Annie G]

I'm 54 and starting to go gray. I'm totally fine with it and won't bother to color it.  Dh has been gray since he was 30 and now he has little hair. But at least we're starting to look like the same age.  I earned these gray hairs and I'm cool with aging. 

[redsquirrel]

I remember seeing this article a few years ago.  I think 'war' is a bit strong. I know people who dye their hair and people who don't. I do, my sister doesn't, my mom doesn't, her sister did. I have friends who do and who do not.  I've never heard a single word for or against it either way. I honestly don't think it's that big of a deal. 

[8circles]

I don't think its a big deal either way. I'm early 40's and color, with no intention of stopping. I started greying at 22, though. I think that can make a difference. I don't know that I'd color if I didn't start graying until I was in my 40's or 50's. I'm almost fully grey at this point.

[regentrude]

I am in the going grey camp. My mother and grandmother never dyed their hair  - yet both looked younger than their age.

I would not want to be at the mercy of regular haircolor upkeep, because greying roots in dyed hair look unkempt and tacky. Way too much trouble.

But then. I don't wear makeup either. Neither do most of my friends.

[gardenmom5]

I do a tri-color foil so the roots don't show. (my hair is thick - so it's not easy to do on myself.) I didn't think I'd be one who would - but early on it was a horrid color for me.   . . . . . and dh is *just starting* to gray at his temples.  it. is. so. not. fair!  I refuse to have a depressing color gray while my dh has very little gray.

 

 

[snickerplum]

I found my first gray hair at 19. I waited until I was 30 to color my hair. I put it off, not wanting to stray from original color. I didn't realize how much older I looked until after I colored it - the stylist said I was almost 50% gray. I deal with the upkeep. :-) I do know ladies with beautiful gray hair, I'm just ready for it to be me.

[mom31257]

I'm 48 and have a lot at my temples and a little dispersed throughout. It's really more silver than gray. I am not planning on coloring it. My mom had beautiful silver hair, so I hope I'm taking after her. 

[Junie]

At this point I am not planning to dye my hair.  I think it would be too much work to do it myself or too expensive to have someone else do it.

 

OTOH, I have kind of a joke that I tell about my sister:  I don't know what color her hair is because I haven't seen her this week.  She has been everything from blonde to cranberry.

[Jilly]

I don't think its a big deal either way. I'm early 40's and color, with no intention of stopping. I started greying at 22, though. I think that can make a difference. I don't know that I'd color if I didn't start graying until I was in my 40's or 50's. I'm almost fully great his point.

I agree. I found my first gray hair at 16, and by the time I was in my late twenties I was 50% gray. I was definitely not ready to go gray at that point. I am 40 now and probably 80% gray. I color at home every three months or so. I can't be bothered to do more than that, so my roots often show. Maybe when I'm 45 or 50 I'll stop coloring, but for now it makes me happy.

[AK_Mom4]

My hair was 50% grey when my first kid was born. I was 25.

 

About ten years ago, I started coloring my hair because I looked at my oldest son's Eagle Scout pics and I looked more like my kids grandmother than their mother. DH looked ten years younger than me rather than the other way around.

 

DH has just this year started getting a couple of grey hairs. I will stop dyeing my hair when I can go grey without looking older than DH. But since his dad is 88 and only about 50% grey..... It may be a while.

[mommymonster]

I started going gray at 13. I had a huge white stripe at my temple by the time I turned 18, and ended up starting to color about then. For the next 20 years, I faithfully colored my hair (salon), and spent just dumb amounts of money on it. I finally decided to go gray to see what it looked like, and it's shockingly white. It took some time for it to grow out, but it looks decent now. 

 

The article is a wee bit sensational though, I mean my hair color is a "war" with other feminists? Puh-lease. If the feminist agenda is that moronic, I've been drinking the wrong juice for a good 25 years. 

[SKL]

I have lots of white hair, but it's still mostly brown.  I guess you could say I get a really good deal on highlights.  ;)

 

I look about 48yo.  I *am* about 48yo.  I don't have a problem looking my age, and I like being low-maintenance, so I don't plan on doing any coloring.

 

It helps that I have never colored my hair before, so people are used to me.  If some of my friends suddenly stopped coloring their hair, people would wonder what happened to them.

[Catwoman]

There's a "war over going gray?" :rolleyes:

 

Give me a break. :glare:

 

If anyone is waging war on something as stupid as hair coloring, I envy them for having so much free time on their hands.

 

What a silly topic -- the article, not this thread!

[Miss Peregrine]

I have never colored my hair so I when I go gray I am going to start. I've  got a few but my hair is blond so it's not too noticeable yet.

[Catwoman]

I started going gray at 13. I had a huge white stripe at my temple by the time I turned 18, and ended up starting to color about then. For the next 20 years, I faithfully colored my hair (salon), and spent just dumb amounts of money on it. I finally decided to go gray to see what it looked like, and it's shockingly white. It took some time for it to grow out, but it looks decent now.

 

The article is a wee bit sensational though, I mean my hair color is a "war" with other feminists? Puh-lease. If the feminist agenda is that moronic, I've been drinking the wrong juice for a good 25 years.

I love bright white hair. My mom's hair was that color and she wore it in a very sleek, elegant hairstyle. She got so many compliments on it -- but no one would ever believe it was natural! :lol:

[Guest]

I've been natural for, gosh, seven years? But I'm seriously considering going back to henna. It looked smashing on me, I just don't love the upkeep and I have to grow out and cut off four feet of hair to get rid of it, which is giving me pause. My whole length of hair right now has a been blow dried once, never colored, etc.

[elegantlion]

I'm letting my grey come in over the summer. I've been coloring about every 4 months, the last time this winter. It's finally more white than washed out mousy, so it's time. I just turned 48.

[Pawz4me]

There is no war over coloring hair (or not).  Just because it's on the Internet doesn't mean it's true. ;)

 

I do have my hair colored.  I've been having it done for years.  If mine were a nice gray or white I'd be fine with it.  I sure hope I get to that point some day!  But unfortunately mine is a not lovely washed out mousy looking (lack of) color.  Left in its current natural state it makes me look tired.  And although I've always been low maintenance and never really cared much about appearance beyond neat and clean, my hair making me look tired started to affect me in other ways.  Looking in the mirror and seeing myself look so tired all the time made me start feeling tired.  And that I could not stand.  Mine isn't a big deal, though.  Having it done every couple of months keeps it looking fine.  It takes an extra hour more than my regular haircut appointment. Not exactly a big time suck or bother.

[Ottakee]

 

It helps that I have never colored my hair before, so people are used to me. If some of my friends suddenly stopped coloring their hair, people would wonder what happened to them.

Funny story..... About 2 weeks ago at church the kids did a performance. After church I saw a guy I have known since we were teens. He asked me if I had seen that his mom and dad were there. I said no and wondered where they had sat. He pointed them out to me and I still couldn't see his mom....until she laughed. Her hair had always been black and the lady I saw had a beautiful frosted brown. I honestly didn't recognize her at first.

 

I went over to talk to her and she just laughed and said she had decided after 40 years to stop coloring her hair and go gray but you can't just go from black to natural gray all at once so Tue frosted brown was her in between look until she is all gray. She is in her early 70s but honestly I never even thought of her coloring her hair.

 

Hope I recognize her next time:-)

[Joyofsixreboot]

I have very curly red hair. I've toned it down to reddish brown since college. I'm almost totally fray but I don't want to look like a witch. I don't have sleek silver. When I go gray I'll color it a prettier gray. If it makes me happy why not.

[Lizzie in Ma]

I have a fair amount of pure white in my hair.  I've earned every one of them and I think it's pretty.  I don't care what anyone else does, to each their own.

[AnnE-girl]

I think I'm too lazy to bother dying my hair when I go gray. I have a few gray strands, but I'm only in my mid-thirties, so I have a while to see how I end up looking. My Grandma has kept hers colored faithfully even into her mid-eighties and she seems a little annoyed that my mom refuses to color hers. I don't think Grandma likes that it makes her daughter look older, so she must be older too :-). I think both Grandma and Mom are beautiful just as they are.

 

I believe in people being comfortable in their own skin, whatever that looks like, but I am a bit annoyed that there is so much pressure for women to look younger.

[Orthodox6]

It is a personal choice, as posters here recognize.

 

As for me, I neither paint myself with nor eat artificial colours. I always have believed that God is the most talented artist Who ever has existed or will exist. He gave me a one-of-a-kind, personal design upon which I cannot improve.

[SparklyUnicorn]

I'd prefer to keep dying my hair, but I'm too lazy to deal with the upkeep and too cheap to have it done professionally. 

 

So I dye it, but not very regularly.

 

It makes me rather annoyed that gray hair is treated as almost ideal for men and not for women.  My husband does not feel that way and would never dye his hair and he really doesn't care if I dye my hair.  So in my life I'm not affected by this attitude thankfully. 

[Matryoshka]

I don't know what I'll do for myself. I've only got one gray hair and one wirey gray eyebrow that makes an ocassional appearance.

 

There are some women who I think look fantastic with gray hair. Since I'm low maintenance and would hate the upkeep or dyeing, I hope I look good gray.

 

I feel really blessed that I'm going gray late (so far some plucking of grays has been enough) because I'm a very lazy hair person.  I don't even own a blow-dryer, no less a curler, straightener, or any of those other things.  My hair-care regimen has always been shampoo and a hairbrush.  I wear it long so I don't have to get it cut often.

 

I'm not sure I'd like myself gray, but I'm worried I'm waaay to lazy to keep up the root problem!  I also think there are some women who look fantastic with gray hair; not sure I'd be one of them...

 

[kewb]

I stopped coloring my hair a couple of months ago. I decided it was time to own my gray as I was tired of the maintenance and the expense.

Whether or not anyone else colors their hair is no skin off my nose. To each his/her own.

[Hwin]

I welcome it. Going to have silver braids and a sparkly chain for my glasses.

[AmandaVT]

I'm 38 and haven't found any gray hair yet. However I have very thick curly hair, so there could be a fair number of grays hiding in there and I wouldn't know.  :-) My plan is to see how it looks and then decide. If I end up with a nice gray or silver, I'll keep it. If it comes in looking washed out, I'll probably dye for awhile. My mom is 61 and is not fully gray - she does dye her hair, but when it comes in, it's maybe 50% gray at the roots, so maybe I'll take after her. 

 

I went to college with a woman who was completely gray by 17 - she didn't color back then, but she since has started. When we became FB friends years later, I was surprised at the honey blond color in her hair! She looks great both ways though.

[SparklyUnicorn]

But anyhow, does anyone have any magical way for dealing with the wiry gray strands?  It looks ridiculous to me.  The color is not the problem.  It's the texture.

 

 

[alisoncooks]

I'm 35 and graying heavily around the temples.  More heavily since DH has been going through chemo -- I'm blaming him.  And stress. ;)

 

I doubt I'll ever dye the gray.  I can barely make myself go get a trim once or twice a year...I know I'm too lazy (and broke) to deal with coloring my hair and upkeep.

 

Now, if there was a magical conditioner that made my grays less wiry...I'd buy that in a snap.

[flyingiguana]

One bonus of white hair -- you don't have to bleach before dyeing it pink.  The texture is much nicer.

[texasmama]

I remember seeing this article a few years ago.  I think 'war' is a bit strong. I know people who dye their hair and people who don't. I do, my sister doesn't, my mom doesn't, her sister did. I have friends who do and who do not.  I've never heard a single word for or against it either way. I honestly don't think it's that big of a deal. 

Yes, what the heck about a war?  I don't hear anyone but dh's grandmother rail about gray hair.  Everyone else just does what they want with their own head, and there is no war.

 

I do hear a theme of people who "starting graying in their mid 50's" and such saying they will let themselves go gray naturally.  I started graying when I was 30.  By 45, I was 50-60% gray.  This is an entirely different animal, IMO, than starting to gray at a traditional age.

 

I am a bit of a slave to the bottle now, though.  I color my own roots about every 3 weeks and go to the hairdresser about every 2-3 months for color.  For years, I could highlight over the gray and blend it in, and that worked.  But nothing works to "highlight" 50% gray.

[Serenade]

I started coloring my hair at 50 -- I delayed the process as long as I could.  I don't get it colored as often as I should.  I can't stand the expense, but also the the time involved.  I wish I were brave enough to self-dye, but I don't think that will ever happen.

 

I do think that if I were one of those people who has silvery or very white hair, I might not have dyed,  But my hair would be mousey grey now, just as it was mousey brown when I was younger.  I don't think I can escape from that mousey aspect without the color.  LOL.

[Serenade]

 

 

I am a bit of a slave to the bottle now, though.  I color my own roots about every 3 weeks and go to the hairdresser about every 2-3 months for color.  For years, I could highlight over the gray and blend it in, and that worked.  But nothing works to "highlight" 50% gray.

 

 

Is coloring your own roots significantly easier than coloring your whole head of hair?

[texasmama]

Is coloring your own roots significantly easier than coloring your whole head of hair?

Oh goodness, yes.

 

I use the $6 root Clairol stuff, mix it up and then separate my hair with a comb as I go.  I don't do the back.  I start at the part and put on the gloves and apply it with my fingers.  It takes five minutes to apply and then I let it set for 20 minutes. It saves a lot of money and time versus going to the hairdresser, and I can't damage my roots. 

[sparrow]

I developed a silver streak at my part line that dh fell in love with. He very sweetly asked if I was going to continue coloring, would I leave that streak? I gave up coloring right then and there. I'm 45, still have my streak, getting more at the temples, and a few strands around my head. I wish it would hurry and go ALL silver now.

[Tsuga]

I pluck my gray hairs as they come in. So far it's been maybe 40? When I start to go bald, I'll stop plucking.

[gardenmom5]

 

 

I went over to talk to her and she just laughed and said she had decided after 40 years to stop coloring her hair and go gray but you can't just go from black to natural gray all at once so Tue frosted brown was her in between look until she is all gray. She is in her early 70s but honestly I never even thought of her coloring her hair.

 

Hope I recognize her next time:-)

 

katharine ross did.  she went cold turkey.  she's in her 70's.  she said it looked awful until it grew out long enough.  she wears her hair up.

 

I figure when I do "go gray" (I also wear my hair up), I will simply start changing to white and silver in my foils and do so over a period of time.  or let the roots get long enough we can figure out what it is and try to match it with an all over color - and foils.

 

for those saying they color every three to four months . . . do you let your roots get that long?  or does your hair grow slowly?  If I don't do a foil every eight weeks (max- pushing it), it starts to really look bad, and that with doing a foil that hides the line of where the color is.   six weeks is better, because my hair does grow fast.

[Bambam]

I've been going gray for a while now. For a long time, it looked like it might be highlights.

But for the folks who don't mind the color but mind the texture change, here is what worked for me.

 

I switched to the shampoo bars from Chagrin Valley - specific Carrot Milk and Honey. I use it every morning, and every other morning (or third) I rinse with diluted apple cider vinegar (hard water here). I use a coconut oil conditioner twice a week - no more or my hair starts feeling heavy throughout the day. My hair is now all soft and manageable. I'm probably 60% light gray (almost white) in front, and I'm not looking at the back!

[momofkhm]

So far no color.  The people who cut my hair are always amazed that it is still natural.  I do have grey.  It's why I no longer put my hair in a ponytail "just because".  Then my grey shows.

 

I'm not planning on dyeing.  I may.  My mom dyes.  My MIL dyes.  Most ladies at my church dye.  It's the upkeep. I just about wash and go.  I spend 3 minutes drying my hair.  (When I don't dry, I have beach waves.  Naturally.)   Why would I want to spend time in a colorist chair?

 

 

[goldberry]

Article said... These days, choosing not to dye has become a statement rather than a casual stylistic choice.

 

No, really sometimes it is just a casual stylistic choice.  I note that most of the comments here are talking about upkeep, and/or just what looks best.  It doesn't have to be a statement or a war.  It's not that big of a deal.

 

I have a friend who makes everything into a statement.  She went through a "no makeup" phase, and of course it was all about "society's oppressive standards".  Now she is in the "let the gray go" phase, and this is also about "being my authentic self and letting go of vanity".  I don't think she realizes how that sounds condemnatory of anyone else not making the same choice.  Give it a rest.

[MrsWeasley]

I'm with Binip. I'm in my late twenties, so I haven't had a lot of grey hairs yet, so I've just plucked them. IDK what I'll do when I have significant amount of grey hair. I thought short hair was too much work, because I had to regularly get a hair cut.