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flyingiguana

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Everything posted by flyingiguana

  1. All kids are quirky. Some are really weirdly quirkly. But most of them just grow up and become (vaguely) normal adults. So I don't think you were missing big glaring signs of impending problems. My guess is no one could have told it was going to be a problem. I know kids who were way weirder and quirkier and displaying concerning signs than my kids. They have gone on to become functioning adults (ok, some are a bit medicated, but still, they function.) But my kid has not. She thinks she's functioning, but the reality is that she's alienating anyone who ever tried to help her. Her favorite weapon is abusive emails. She's sent these to many professors from college. And she's been fired from a good job and probably will never be able to get a good reference from them. Which means she may never get a job ever again. And we're left having to explain to friends and coworkers that we aren't the cause of the abuse directed at them by our daughter. Maybe she'll grow up eventually. Maybe she'll get out of the toxic relationship she's in that may be the cause of this. Or maybe not. What I find interesting is that she didn't go down this path as long as we (her family) were still in contact with her. So we must have been doing the "right" things to keep her on track. As soon as she cut off contact with us, things got really bad. She was ripe for an abusive relationship that turned her abusive as well, but I'm refusing to feel guilty for that. That's on her. And the abuser. But she should have known better than to get involved with that. To be honest, I'm not sure I EVER felt guilty. I jumped right to anger. And I've never let that go. Anger's probably not the healthiest thing in the world to hang onto, but better than guilt in my book. I believe it's keeping me sane. If I were feeling any guilt, I'd be a mess.
  2. And while I'm chiming in here -- the reason it's not believed vaccines cause autism is because of statistical studies. Bringing up the "well, how do we know that ONE kid's autism wasn't caused by a vaccine" is not a valid argument against a population survey. If you want to argue against the statistical studies, you need to bring up the power of the statistical tests and whether a valid control group was used. Which would involve delving more deeply into the data than just pointing to one kid who happened to develop autism at the time of a vaccine. A sample of one doesn't tell us anything. Nor does a sample that was chosen precisely because it gave the answer one was looking for (while discarding all other data points that argued against it).
  3. I have asked if kids are vaccinated. It can be done. You just have to not be judgmental about it. Least, not that anyone can tell. Around us, at the time my kids were little, it seemed the vaccine that everyone was avoiding was tetanus. Some people had been told by various drs that that was ok because "no one gets tetanus anymore". I would doubt that dr's competence if that's the story they were giving people. But then, I'm constantly surprised by the lack of scientific understanding in many people I know. It just added an extra layer of surprise that someone who had been through a medical/science degree could come out with that statement.
  4. They're not designed to be 100% effective. They're designed to do the best that can be done at this point. Sure a higher rate of effectiveness would be nice, but that hasn't been developed yet. However, what these vaccines CAN do is provide herd immunity if a threshold number of people are vaccinated. This can be a better protection than individual protection -- it protects not only those who can't be vaccinated, but also those whose vaccinations failed. Something to keep in mind is that anyone who's been vaccinated could fall into that latter group and not know it. So it is in everyone's best interest to have a fully vaccinated population. You never know if you're going to be the one who needs that herd immunity, even if you or your kids have had the vaccinations. But I wouldn't call it failure. These are just things we know about how vaccines work. Nor would I call it the way they were designed. That would imply that we wanted them to not be 100% effective. Obviously, that would be the goal, but not all immune systems react the same.
  5. Were any of the employees getting on the flight to replace this guy wearing leggings?
  6. They obviously weren't looking for volunteers if they claim he was only dragged off because he didn't volunteer.
  7. And the leggings incident. I've heard that United Breaks Guitars is a video that's often shown in marketing classes as an example of why the customer is ALWAYS right. Now there's a new video to show.
  8. For some kids, they think it's a good way to prove to their parents that they shouldn't be in college. Because they didn't want to be there in the first place, and they think their parents are forcing them. I've seen this happen a lot. Whether that's true or not is beside the point. It's probably more important for his professors to be encouraging him not to totally crash and burn. But if they're not getting through to him, it's even less likely his parents would. Whatever his reasons -- reasonable or silly -- college isn't working for him right now. Your or your son's involvement isn't going to change that. Don't make yourself crazy over it. It's not your fault now and it won't be your fault if you stay out of it.
  9. I used to think we argued about money, until I realized I was actually upset about the amount of junk being brought into our small house. Keeping the money in check was just a way I could keep more large items from appearing. We still argue about acquiring more junk occasionally -- but it helps to know that what was really upsetting me wasn't the financial aspect of it.
  10. It was horrible. And painful. Probably one of the many reasons we've homeschooled. And to add to the misery, one year we got pinched if we wore green but no orange. Because wearing green must mean we were Catholic. Good Protestants knew enough to wear orange. Tried to avoid that by wearing both green and orange. That didn't work either. But then, the logic of the whole situation was bizarre. Ironically, looking back, I'm guessing most of the pinchers had no Irish ancestry. And if they did, they didn't know it. It was just another excuse to bully. My husband does not understand my fear of St Patrick's Day.
  11. We've now got compost pick up by the city (yay! -- our lot's too small for composting without annoying the neighbors anyway). The city prefers we put our recyclable paper into recycling, not composting. There's more monetary value in the paper as paper than as soil. If that influences your decision
  12. Statistically speaking, it's less likely. A number of faiths see conversion of non-believers as part of their religion. This makes them more likely to go out and convert people. Although there may be individual atheists who would want to educate others in what they see as the truth, they don't have a whole religion behind them telling them they have to do it.
  13. There are companies that hire people to do medical transcription while working from home. That might be a possibility. When I googled this idea, several companies came up in the search. (I don't know how reputable they are)
  14. I do see kids getting jobs with just a biology degree. That she also has nursing experience/certification may also help. Are there any job fairs she can go to? That might give her some ideas as to what's out there. Is there any industry nearby? Because they are often looking for people with a stem degree of any sort. It may not say "biology" on the job description, but that doesn't mean she'd be out of luck. Food plants, sewage treatment plants (ie city jobs), etc -- that kind of thing might be worth looking for. Nurses can also sometimes be part of a research team. They may not be doing nursing, per se, but that experience can be useful. My neighbor (an ex-nurse) was working as a grant overseer for a medical research team for awhile. I've seen kids get into a low level industry job with a bio degree (kids who didn't manage to get into grad school) who have now risen to fairly responsible and well paid positions. It may take a few years. But it's not a worthless degree by any means. The kids who come out of the college where I work are just as likely to get a job with a bio degree as a math degree.
  15. I was 30. However, I'm really nearsighted, so it was really just a matter of taking my glasses off to read. It was when the midrange started to go that I finally had to get progressive lenses. But even now I usually have to take them off to read for any length of time.
  16. Well, they're currently in the freezer. In case the friend wants them back. This seems to be how that family deals with food. So if they don't want them wasted, I suppose they're welcome to them. But my daughter had eaten a couple before she knew the history. She is sick, but it's hard to say if that's the culprit. She's not laid up at home, but she hasn't exactly been able to eat much the past couple days. I would imagine that tamales would be less likely to harbor bad bacteria, given the amount they're cooked. But still....
  17. My daughter brought some tamales home from a friend's. They'd been unrefrigerated since cooking, which was 2 days before. She's unenthusiastic about eating them. Is this just a thing that people do? The microbiologist in me says no way. Even if they were completely sterilized, it's not like they're sealed up afterwards. But I'm searching the web and getting sites that say it's perfectly acceptable in Mexico -- that people do this all the time. And that people in the US are just crazy with how they refrigerate everything. These are meat filled tamales. Am I missing something?
  18. Single vision glasses + frames at Zenni optical: 6.95. Unless you just HAVE to have those cute ones for 20. They do charge extra for progressive lenses (40 last I checked?) and for strong prescriptions (maybe an extra 9 dollars?). Next best bet is a place like Warby Parker where they'll send a selection of frames out for you to try. I forget what they cost. It's more, but not like a drs office. After that, a place like Costco or Walmart. Last we priced glasses, it was 800 for single vision reading glasses at the dr. 1000 or more for progressives. That was the cheapest frames without anything added on. I only know that because my husband asked (I don't bother to even find out at the dr anymore). He didn't quite believe the price differential was that much. Now he's convinced. The eye drs give a song and dance about they aren't as good a quality (they're really no different) and how you "wouldn't buy shoes online, would you?" (in fact, I do). They're fighting a losing battle. Once insurance stopped paying for glasses, people didn't want to pay 1000 anymore. This year, my husband's work started offering an optional eyeglass coverage insurance. The cost of the insurance was WAY more than the cost of 10 pairs of glasses from Zenni. And that doesn't even include the deductibles/copays etc. We didn't sign up for it.
  19. What does she want it for? What does she imagine doing with it? Because while you may hear "phone" she may imagine games and internet and texting a lot with her friends. To be honest, that's about all I use my phone for. Except calling my mom and ordering food (And we don't even have a landline) If it's just to stay in contact with you, you might consider a Tracfone. You can get them for about 10 dollars and then you pay in advance for your minutes. But I don't think there are a lot of gaming options (or any?) on the cheap phones and as I recall, using data was not cheap. If she's sending a lot of silly texts, that will also add up. Our entire family got Moto G's of some generation or another. They were cheap phones, but maybe expensive for a 10 yr old who might lose it. We're using Ting as the carrier. The nice thing about it is that each additional phone is 6 dollars/month. Which means that for me -- who just about NEVER calls or texts or uses data -- it's mostly just that 6 dollars/month. (The rest of my family use their phones as phones, though, so they rack up the minutes). eta: my "texting" is mostly free because I do it on wifi and use Messenger. I like the camera on my Moto G. I suspect it's better than the one on a comparable iPhone. The camera on our old Tracfone was simply awful, but it might be fine for kids who just want pictures of their friends doing stuff. Kind of like an instamatic back in the day.
  20. At our school, I think a huge chunk of money goes to maintaining the infrastructure. The buildings are in pretty bad shape. Course, one couldn't "instruct" outside for most of the year, so even though this isn't in the "instruction" budget it's still absolutely necessary for instruction to occur.
  21. Yeah.... I do see this sort of thing happening. Followed the next day or week by a memo that faculty won't be paid for this or that because "we all have to tighten our belts". I think some of these decisions, though, are being made with the idea that parties like this (and landscaping) will lead to more donated money. But it looks pretty dumb from the outside, I have to say.
  22. Where I am, it seems to me that a lot of administrators are spending time either trying to save money or asking for money. Now maybe they need to do that to support the added administrative staff, but maybe this has become a necessity at many schools. If there isn't a large endowment, a lot of schools may be teetering on a financial edge. Maybe these schools need more administrators just to keep the thing afloat. I've got no data on that. I'm just wondering. Also, there are now a number of schools that do have an office that provides for students with disabilities so it doesn't all fall on the professor. The biggest issue is that the professor has to have the materials ready earlier than "just in time for class".
  23. I'm going to date myself, but when I was little even in the US a bottle deposit was the norm. I didn't get an allowance, but I could keep whatever I got from returning bottles to the store for my parents. Although perhaps the incentive for going to cans in the US was to avoid the hassle of returning bottles.
  24. Because inquiring minds seemed to want to know: It's diet soda. Possibly, the sugar substitute is tricking his body into using the calories he is eating more efficiently, but I think the research is not yet conclusive on that. Still, if that is the case, he doesn't need the extra calories. (Or if it were non-diet.) Otoh, if he didn't get his caffeine fix from expensive soda, he'd probably eat a lot more chocolate and cookies. Which would probably be in the grocery budget. eta: Also, it's rarely bought on sale. My husband doesn't go into a store and see it on sale and think, oh yeah, I'm gonna need that. Should stock up. It's more of an emergency trip to the store when he realizes he doesn't have his "fix". And I WILL NOT buy it on sale because I don't want to carry that much. My cart is usually full with other stuff too. Does soda count as food in the budget? Does it only count if it's bought at the grocery store? What if he buys it from a vending machine or at a fast food place because I didn't bother to pick any up while at the store? Is it my folly to skip buying it at the store for him if it drives him to buy it at a much more expensive place? Just because I was interested in, I looked up the current SNAP regulations. Soda does count as food for food stamp purposes. They don't seem to make a distinction between diet and non-diet. Although perhaps one could argue that non-diet is exactly food? Unless water is classed as a nutrient? Can one buy water with food stamps. Also, apparently most live animals cannot be purchased with food stamps. Except live lobsters and other shellfish. There seems to be a bit of a cultural bias there. Unless the thinking is that the only reason one would purchase a live goat to slaughter would be if you were having a party and meant to feed a bunch of people who were not food stamp recipients. Lobsters, I guess, are single serving items. I did not know one could buy seeds for the garden with food stamps. And pumpkins. http://www.fns.usda.gov/snap/eligible-food-items
  25. I'll add that I do not count the soda in our grocery budget. That's not my addiction so I don't see it as food. That has to go in another category. I call it something like "Husband's Folly" or "his entertainment". (Maybe it should be added into the "dental" area of the budget, now that he knows what it's doing to his teeth) I won't buy it when I'm at the store. He has to make his own trip. (Where he can see how much it costs) I refuse to carry home colored bottles of overpriced water with added caffeine. (I know. We could have worse disagreements)
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