Dump your frustrations here......open vent forum

[Tap]

My vent, I don't really expect anyone to read this but just need to get it out so, her it goes:

 

I am so sick of everything regarding dd7 being so overwhelming and complicated! 

 

She has been diagnosed with PDD-NOS/Asperger since she was 4, but after her neuropsych eval they feel she is not on the spectrum but actually Bi-polar. He thinks she is more drug effected by her bio-mom than we initially thought and got a bad dose of genetics on top of it all.  I expected this diagnosis change but it is hard to deal with since it definitely shows that her issues are only going to stay the same/ or get worse, not really get better with therapy like we hoped. You can teach a child to manage (even if they are just play acting through) most social situations appropriately if they have Aspergers, you can't teach a brain to have the right chemicals/pathways.

 

Her school feels that the neuro-psych eval is great but want to repeat ALL of the testing themselves. They are going to retest at least 6 or 7 areas and maybe more. They have 35 days to do so, then the results will be complied, a new IEP drafted and then implementation will occur in the FALL!  So, while we already know the answers now (no one is contesting them-they agree about the issues), nothing will change for 6 months. 

She is my great-niece and is technically the a ward of the state and we have guardianship.  Due to this she has our private insurance and state insurance.  She gets a very small TANF grant of $200, and daycare assistance to provide  a one-on-one aide at her daycare because she is not safe to have in a traditional environment of 10 kids to 1 or 2 adults. Every 6mths we have to re-qualify her for these services.  Even though they are all state programs and use the same info, we have to submit it to 3 different parts of 2 different agencies It takes several hours to complete. I spent 15 hours dealing with getting her daycare assistance fixed last month and  now, (due to Obamacare?) we have to change her insurance carrier too. Today, the exchange kept freezing every time I tried to exit a page.  I had to keep logging out and logging in to change the page.  You are locked out if you enter the password wrong one time. Yep, you get one try to get it right!.  You can change it online but every time I try to log in, it tells me my password is wrong and I have to reset my password.  I have reset it 3 times.  Each time it takes  a full day to reset.  I try to call and talk to someone and they say my wait time is 90minutes!  They don't give an option other than phone or online. :0(   If I don't select a new plan, she looses her insurance. 

 

She has extreme behavior issues despite over 4 years of behavior therapy, 3 year of OT, 3 with a psychiatrist/ extensive medications and a secure family since she was 5mo. She started in therapy at 2yo and has had 1-3 therapists weekly since then.  She has had Excellent therapists, considered some of the top in their fields for our area, it is just her and her issues that are the problem. She adapts so quickly to anything they are working on and her issues change so fast that it is often like working with a different child each week.

 

She is likely the most unruly child at her school even thought they have 2 other behavior programs at this school.  Her teachers and principals last year and this year have all said they have never worked with a kid like her. Just this week she got in trouble at school for whipping another student with a jump rope so hard she left welts.  The next day she punched a teachers aide in the face. :0(  She is in a fully contained behavior classroom so she is appropriately supervised (min of 3 teachers to less than 10 students) but...understandably, things still happen.  These are just the major issues, these don't include the 4 hours of physical intervention just this week, required for her more typical antics (kicking/hitting/biting, destroying property, pulling up her shirt to show her breast to other kids, running away from school into the parking lot, etc).  She is essentially 'grounded' her to classroom this week since she can't be trusted outside of it, and that is only making things worse.

 

We are making a med change which will require blood work every 6mths, if not sooner.  It takes 2 nurses to restrain her, another to draw blood. She is already on 7 mental health meds and without them, she is 10X worse.  They do help, just not enough.  I have to change locations of where we get the blood drawn because she remembers and refuses to go inside.  She weighs 100lbs, is the height of a 9 or 10yo and is a power house of muscle. Me making her go inside, when she is refusing, isn't possible.  We may have to start medicating her in the car to basically asleep to have her taken into the hospital by assistances to get it done.  :0(

 

Her BT of 4 years got a promotion a while back and meanwhile she had still held onto us as clients due to complicated issues.  She finally had to pass us off this week to a new therapist, and we no longer have her helping us out.  We have just started over with a new BT and now have to rebuild all the relationships and knowledge with him.  He seems good, but it will be 3 months before he starts to see her true colors and understands her. 

 

Her OT, who sees her for her extreme behaviors, is talking about how she isn't showing her true colors with him, so he may have to discharge us since he can't justify continuing to see her. She acts fine for him and can show that she knows all the skills he has taught her. He thinks my goal of having her be successful in her behaviors 75% of the time, is an overstretch for her.  :0(  So, he thinks that I should settle for her acting age appropriate 50% of the time and call it good.  :0?  I asked him to keep her qualified based on her handwriting, and see what he can do with her behaviors.   He agrees she needs help, he is just out of ideas on what he can do.    I'm guessing it is time for a new OT also. 

 

School says she could benefit from speech therapy for receptive language.  Great....they know she needs it, they offer the service, but aren't willing to start until Fall '14.  She already has 2-3 private therapy appointments per week, lets add another!  Old BT suggests putting her back into swimming and gymnastics 4x per week, which I agree with (she needs heavy physical activity) but I don't have time with all of her other therapies and oh, by the way, I have other kids, have a husband who travels for work, and I work outside the home to pay for all of this.

 

When we had her neuropsych eval done, even the tester (head of Autism program at a large teaching hospital) commented that she is a 'very complicated case' and since he specializes in complicated children with mental health/spectrum issues.....that is not a good sign to me. 

 

She is smart in what she knows, but her output is low functioning. This causes more frustrations for her.  She has jumped 2 reading levels in 3 months (a full year worth of work), but rarely goes to reading group.  She is either sleeping or in mid-behavior so she just hears the information in bits an pieces, but doesn't participate.  This confounds her teacher, who doesn't know what to do with that.  She needs her to come to reading group to count the time and instructional time, but since she is clearing learning, she is at a loss at what to do.  She can't let her be in a behavior, just because she happens to still be learning through it.  LOL  

 

She has a sleep disorder and sleeps during class for at least an hour or so every day, and gets picked up 30 minutes early because she can't make it full day.   Her sleep specialist diagnosed her with a sleep disorder but it is a generic 'hyper-somalance' because....guess what, they know there is an obvious problem but can't identify it. 

 

.....and then she will flip back to her nice side and everything is fun, sunshine and rainbows.  :0)  And she is great kid with a contagious laugh who dances into the room like nothing was wrong with the world. (Even though the chair is broken from her tantrum 5 minutes ago, the plant beat up from her kicking it, things are thrown around the room....)

 

 

uggggh.  I could keep typing but will sign off there.  It does feel better to get a bit of it off my chest.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[SKL]

I'm sick again and I am not getting enough work done.

 

I got a speeding ticket this morning, on the way to deal with some missing work my daughter hasn't finished.

 

I'm behind on everything, but what else is new....

[marbel]

I'm sick of worrying about money.

 

I'm tired of my kids giving me a hard time about school work.

 

I'm sick of cooking.

 

This is me too, exactly.

[Kalypso]

We started having a house built in June, and the completion date keeps slipping. So, we have this move hanging over our heads. I just want to get it over with, but I can't.

 

None of my kids are willingly helping with the packing and cleaning that needs to be done. It's all so frustrating!!

 

 

[sunflowerlady]

Sick of money problems. Sick of things breaking down/tearing up one thing after another. It's ridiculous.

[FaithManor]

I am so sick of cooking and grocery shopping that I'm almost kind of truly physically sick just thinking about meal planning. Nothing sounds good if I have to fetch it and cook it. Nothing.

 

I have always hated cooking so nearly 26 years of this is getting old. I may decide that if the boys want to eat, they have to figure it out for themselves. Dh won't like it, but I feel very done. Then again, maybe that is how he feels about work and I need to adjust my attitude.

 

GAH!

[PeachyDoodle]

I'm tired of there never seeming to be any grace. Consequences that seem to pile up disproportionately for even the slightest slip-up. A couple of bad days and I've gained back the weight that I scrapped and clawed for two weeks to lose (a tiny amount but still significant to me). Bills that seem insurmountable if we have even one "off" month. Feeling like no matter what I do, it's never, ever enough -- there's ALWAYS more to be taken care of and I can't stop for even a second, and yet I'm always behind. And feeling guilty for being behind and for all the things that seem to slip through the cracks.

 

I'm just tired of it never being enough, of never being good enough.

[MomtoCandJ]

I'm sick of scraping by, living pretty much pay check to pay check. I would work if daycare didn't cost so freaking much.

I'm also sick of snow and cold weather, would save quite a bit once it warms up. Won't be paying so much in gas for the car and truck to warm them up, and heat the house.

[Mom in High Heels]

Add me to the list of hating cooking.  Actually, I like to cook, but having to do it every day is exhausting and boring.

 

Other things I'm tired of:

 

Cleaning.   I clean all the time yet I feel like nothing is ever accomplished.  It's an unending job.

 

Laundry.  There are days when I just want to throw everything away instead of washing it.

 

Allergies.  I hate spring and all that it brings.  Oddly though, I love to garden.  I pay for it dearly though, and am miserable for hours and hours after I come in.

 

Stuff.  We have too much stuff.  I'd love to get rid of a lot, but James Bond would not be happy.

 

Money.  Yes, we have plenty, but I want to put more into the bank than we have.

 

Thinking about JB retiring.  He *may* retire in 2 years, or if he gets promoted, stay in for 4-6 more years.  The not knowing is killing me.  We should know if he's promoted by late June/early July, but that seem like so far off.  That's a lot of time to think about it.  If he doesn't get promoted, then we have to think about a civilian job, and where we're going to live.

 

My thighs.  No matter how much I exercise, I will never have really slender thighs.  That's not fair!

 

Not having a flying car or a robot maid.  In the 50's they said by the year 2000, there would be flying cars and robot maids!  Where's my flying car and robot maid?

 

 

[Susan in TN]

I'm tired of my volunteer job that gives me almost daily anxiety. I'd quit if it weren't for the kids (including my own) who love the program and depend on me to keep it going. The thought of continuing for another year (and another and another) makes me want to cry. I'm tired of they way it makes everything else going on in my life seem 1000 times more difficult than I can manage, to the point that I sometimes panic because I can't think of anything to make for lunch. (And believe me, we have plenty of food in the house.)

 

I'm tired of seeing the disappointment on ds's face with every financial aid package that comes in because it makes it only more certain that his only college financial option will be the school he doesn't like.

 

I wish my glasses didnt lose their screws because the shop said they have to send them away to get it fixed and how much did you say that is going to cost?!? (They have "special" screws apparently, which is why the regular screws don't fit.) I'm tired of not being able to look down without them falling off my face.

 

I'm tired of finding out new learning "issues" my kids have. And then half the experts tell you there are ways to therapy it away and the other half tell you you'll be wasting your time with therapy and you just need to find ways to cope. Why don't they just show me the therapies and we'll do them at home for a while so I can decide for myself. It's not rocket science.

 

Wish we knew what was wrong with dd15 and that we didn't have to waste another $150 on an appointment and lab test just to be told we need another doctor who can do more lab tests.

 

Yep, and here comes that anxiety attack right on cue.

[*Alyssa*]

To the OP, :grouphug:  .  I can't think of anything I'm tired of after reading your post.  Counting my blessings and saying a prayer for you!  :grouphug:

[fraidycat]

I'm sick of worrying about money.

 

I'm tired of my kids giving me a hard time about school work.

 

I'm sick of cooking.

Yep. And I am sick and tired of military life. I'd like to be settled somewhere with a husband at home more than 50% of the time.

 

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: to OP. Now, I should go count my blessings now. I have healthy typical kids. I do not show enough gratitude for that!

[abba12]

Tap, that's got to be hard. You'll be in my prayers today... I can't imagine how I would cope with a child like that, she's lucky to have you.

 

My vent... I am so tired from trying to help my husband recover from what I can now, with confidence, call childhood abuse. I am so angry with his parents, whom I still have to smile and act civily with when all I want to do is scream at them for how wrong they were, and show them the huge amount of damage they caused him. But he is not ready for confrontation in any way, and I would make it much worse to bring anything up before he is ready. They don't deserve to be called parents. The things that have come out the past 6 months... Sometimes my husband will see me do something with our children, or I will act a certain way towards him, and he simply bursts into tears with what is essentially a flashback, though he doesn't recognize it as that yet. 

 

I am exhausted. He has a psychologist but can't get any more aid, and right now, now he has finally acknowledged the problems he has and has opened pandoras box so to speak by beginning to change them (it's the kind of thing which needs to get worse before it gets better if we want it to be 'fixed' long term. For example, we have gone from bottling up anger and denying it's existence and occasional explosions to frequent explosions with semi-acknowledged feelings, and are now moving towards less frequent explosions without any bottling up. And don't even get me started on the self-hatred and guilt issues which are finally coming to light), he needs daily help. I can provide that, we're very fortunate that as a teen one of my passions was psychology and as a homeschooler I had the time to study it unofficially indepth (Yet more confirmation to me that God had this all figured out... every single topic I was interested in as a teen and persued independently has been very important in my adult life). Combined with my own experiences with mental health as a long term sufferer of PTSD, his therapist and I are on exactly the same page so I am able to actively walk him through what he needs and what the psych is doing, and I can tell him things and explain things, confident that he will hear the same thing from the psychologist without even mentioning what I've said, which has helped a lot in getting him to trust me when I explain certain things that seem strange to him but are 'normal' to most of us. He finally trusts what I say after having so much confirmed by this 'neutural, professional source' who, by the way, I have never even met, much less spoken to. Thank God we lucked out with a competent therapist and not another 'lets spend an hour discussing why you got angry this week and then do a couple of breathing techniques' like we did two years ago. This psych totally gets the roots of the problem and doesn't waste any time of the day-to-day 'causes' because they are basically irrelevant most of the time.

 

But recently I find myself teaching him some of the SAME emotional skills I am teaching my 3yo. My 3yo has more control over calming down from anger than he does, but I can see her mirroring him, both in how she expresses anger, and in how she copes with anger and calms down now he is learning. (she's the first 3yo I've ever met who will willingly take herself to her room in the middle of a tantrum, tell me she is 'settling down, then come out', will actually self-calm, come out, and without prompting both apologize and be prepared to deal with/accept the issue. It hurts me how much she has seen that she shouldn't have seen to get to that point, but she is now an inspiration and motivation to DH because he is learning how to do exactly. the. same. thing. It's only a small example of the work he is doing, obviously his issues are much more complicated than learning to go away and calm down when he begins to lose control, but it's a very visible, obvious example.

 

But it's just so exhausting for me. For the past month I feel more like I am a single mum to 3 children, not a married mother of 2. I don't mean that in any sort of nasty way, but I have had to keep strict control on myself and my responses because I am having to basically walk him through, step by step, how to deal with all of these new-to-him emotions and all these inward messages that, until recently, were subconcious, how to change his self talk and attitudes, how to bring perspective in and how to break out when he gets trapped in one of his emotional 'cycles'. I need to be very calm to be able to give him the objective guidance he needs. It's much harder to accept these flaws in an adult than it is to accept them in a child, which is when most people learn what he is trying to learn now. Some people are never very good at these things of course, but his situation is extreme, there's a lot I am not saying so you'll just have to assume there's a lot more to it.

 

I see him making progress, I am certain he is trying very hard, that's why I am here helping him despite some horrible behaviors. I am fully convinced he is doing his best and he has gotten better just in the past 6 months. But goodness it's hard. It shouldn't be like this. His parents were responsible for teaching him these things and I can't even get angry with them! After a day of dealing with little girls, including a very emotionally intense toddler, having him come home and needing to basically do the same things with him is... draining. It's only temporary... I'm just not sure how much longer I can hold myself together for him. It's so rewarding when he does make a breakthrough, even if his new 'skill' is something most 5yos should be able to do, but it feels pretty lonely sometimes...

 

Please, parents! You can't just pretend emotions don't exist because you don't like them and find them inconvenient! Your children will not follow the same mental path you did, because you were an adult when you decided emotions no longer existed, not a child. Raising children in a home which does not have any emotions in it is not healthy, not even a little bit. Even his concept of love is entirely screwed up, because he was told parents love their kids and told 'I love you' by his parents, so he related manifestations of love to however they manifested at home, and those manifestations are not healthy or representative of how the rest of the world loves and expresses love. Please, teach your children about their emotions, and how to handle them, because learning basic lessons about how emotions work as an adult is one of the hardest processes I can imagine. The consequences when you mess it up are much, much bigger when you respond badly/childishly to your boss or wife instead of your mum or teacher, and most people who grew up with emotions as part of every day life (you know, the rest of the world) finds it nearly impossible to understand that you are not acting that way because you're a horrible selfish jerk, that you truly don't know how to handle it any better yet.  And, seriously, 'but she did x wrong first' arguments with a 3yo suck when you're in your mid 20s. (in those instances, he has learnt that it's ok to feel an emotional response to someones actions and express it without guilt, self hatred and shame, which is great in helping him in his relationship with me and other adults, but he hasn't learned how to cope with unintentional or immature offensive actions, so he has gone from never telling me I had upset him, ever, to being angry when the toddler accidentally bumps his head. Like I said, some things will get worse before they get better, I went through a very similar stage when I left my abusive situation as a teen, though for somewhat different reasons, and now he is trying to learn to not take every slight personally, and not every annoyance needs to be voiced. Discretion is harder than learning to acknowledge the feelings in the first place and that there is a difference between denying your feelings, and choosing when your feelings are inappropriate or do not need voicing. He feels like choosing to let something go without comment and not expressing how he feels, ignoring it so to speak, would mean denying himself and his feelings again, and devaluing himself again, which he doesn't want to do... it's a hard balance to hit. made harder by the fact he is a perfectionist and wont accept that most people mess up and say/dont say things they shouldn't/should on a regular basis. He beats himself up mentally every time he 'gets it wrong' as he puts it. I don't know if any of that even makes sense to an outsider, the mental process he goes through is so damn complicated sometimes... I totally get it, but only because I personally struggled with this same issue of balancing standing up for yourself with being reasonable)

 

 People can't comprehend an adult who is, in some areas, less emotionally mature than the average 1st grader. They have little patience for the sorts of things he struggles with. And as hard as this is for me, it must be harder for him to learn it. He really is doing so well. If they'd have seen him 5 years ago... 

 

Please Lord, give us a reprieve, when this next batch of issues starts to get under control, we just need a rest before we hit it with the next set...

[mommymilkies]

Everything.  Just everything is frustrating right now.  

[Melissa in Australia]

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: to everyone

 

I would love to write my complaint here but it would be a serious breach of board rules.

[Mom in High Heels]

abba12, are our husbands brothers?  You described him and his family to a tee.  

[abba12]

abba12, are our husbands brothers?  You described him and his family to a tee.  

 

Seriously? I feel like the only person trying to deal with a situation like this most of the time!

No other married brothers, so there must be more than one family like his parents mess out there, yikes!

[AlmiraGulch]

I'm tired of there never seeming to be any grace. Consequences that seem to pile up disproportionately for even the slightest slip-up. A couple of bad days and I've gained back the weight that I scrapped and clawed for two weeks to lose (a tiny amount but still significant to me). Bills that seem insurmountable if we have even one "off" month. Feeling like no matter what I do, it's never, ever enough -- there's ALWAYS more to be taken care of and I can't stop for even a second, and yet I'm always behind. And feeling guilty for being behind and for all the things that seem to slip through the cracks.

 

I'm just tired of it never being enough, of never being good enough.

 

 

Right there with you, Peachy.  Sigh.

 

[texasmama]

The healthcare.gov site enrolled my four kids in Medicaid without my knowledge or permission. We don't qualify for Medicaid. 

 

For some reason they were using only my part-time income for our family of six and had disregarded dh's income.  I had to spend a long time trying to disenroll from a program I didn't apply for that I don't qualify for.  When I was able to do so, the lady at Health and Human Services suggested that I just use the benefits until they get cancelled since I already have them.  No thanks - no fraud for me!

 

<thud>

[Elfknitter.#]

Everything.  Just everything is frustrating right now.  

 

You and me both. I'm sick and tired of the anxiety and sleepless nights that come from wondering how bills will get paid and more bills piling on from things like our dying cat. I'm frustrated that I can't help dh not feel this way as well. I'm frustrated that I can't find a job in my field; I go on stupid interviews that result in no calls backs. Up until almost 2 years ago things were going just fine in our lives. Everything's been so up in the air and unsettled since then. I'm just tired and worn and exhausted from it all.

[BlueTaelon]

I am trying not to lose it here and start crying, its been one thing after another for 4 months and the tax return which was supposed to last through the year is GONE, car repair ended up costing 2x what I was expecting, had a whole bunch of expenses I wasn't expecting. My breaks failed while driving and I'm waiting for the shop to call to tell me the damage and I got a shut off notice for the electric with a week to get the money together and all the agencies are out of funds since it appears everyone else on the winter moratorium got their shut off notices before I did. I've worked 1 day in the past 4 months, first because the car died then dd13 went off the deep end and I had to stay with her non stop due to self harm and run away worries. She's finally stable and I got to go to work for a whopping 4 hours on Tuesday and was scheduled for today and had to call my boss and say sorry! car's broke. Its a wonder I haven't been fired. We have lots of meat but thats about it, no fruits or veggies and no money to buy more but its not like we have a car to get to the store which is half hour away! dd7 is acting like a spoiled brat throwing major tantrums when she doesn't get her way and I don't come at her beck and call or do what she wants instantly. She's been home from school today due to the failed car breaks and its been a very very very long day with her. It kills me but she will be on the 6:30am school bus tomorrow, I can't handle another day like this. I'm tired of freezing my butt off in this house, utilities were over $400 last month and we still froze. I want to be able to take a dang shower daily for all of us but we have a crappy water heater which gives us 17min of hot water a day, 32 if mixed with cold. I was just told that water heater is probably why we have such high bills and it the bathroom is so drafty it takes the space heater an hour to get the temp up to 60F in the bathroom when it can heat a room twice that size in 15 minutes. I'm tired of not being able to afford to pay for the Dr's we need, I'm tired of being tired and flat out emotionally and physically exhausted all the time. I keep trying and things just get worse. I can't remember the last time I did something nice or fun for me or the kids, there just isn't money. Praying we get into the low income apts in the city next month which would at least solve the majority of our money problems and I could at least take the bus to the grocery store if not ride my bike.

[kathy_overman]

Everything.  Just everything is frustrating right now.  

 

 

I just thought "I'm gonna blow".  I wish I could, but I gave yelling for Lent.

 

We have an adopted daughter just like the OP, it is by far the hardest thing in the world.

[elegantlion]

Hm, 

 

I'm tired of every frickin' thing about food being an issue. Ds is hungry all the time and picky. he'll cook on his own, but sheesh, if it's not him, it's the cat. Neither one of us wants to cook and our budget is tiny. We basically hate most food anyway. I could live on almonds and cheese and maybe chicken. 

 

I have 4 days less than I thought to turn in a history research paper draft. Every time I try to work on it, I get emotionally wound up because I find the topic so infuriating. I chose it, I knew it would upset me, I need to remove my angry emotions from my paper though. So there is my weekend. 

 

I dropped a very large deposit at the lawyer's office this week to start divorce proceedings. I'm ticked for many reasons that would violate board rules, and I'm going to have to work full time this summer to pay off the rest and have living expenses. Hopefully I can find a job here in town and not have to drive 30 minutes to the next nearest towns. I didn't plan on having to support myself and ds living in the middle of nowhere - it's quaint and quiet, but there are currently 13 job openings in town, none of which I qualify for. 

 

At least I have Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata, it's soothes me. 

[Ameena]

I realize I'm blessed, but yeah I'm still tired.

 

I'm tired of being a single mom. I WANT A HUSBAND to lean on, to take the slack, and maybe even extend the family. Probaly not going to happen though.

 

I'm tired of barely making enough to make ends meet, even with state benefits. Yeah we have food, but that doesn't feed the cat or keep the electric on or the water or pay bus fare or or or or anything else non-food we need. I'm in a catch 22 of if I make enough to get by, then I make too much to qualify for medicaid for myself {I'm in a state that didn't expand} and without medicaid to pay for medications I need, I end up right back in the hospital. Or worse. I'm tired of calling the county office that does utility assistance only be to told "You are on the mail out list...4-6 weeks & you should have an app in the mail". I started calling on FEBRUARY 4th folks - it's been OVER 6 weeks, with no sign of it. My other alternative is to get up at 4 am to catch a bus at 5 am & go across town into a bad neighborhood & wait outside a building for 2 hours to get on to the same program via the back-door method. And yes, it does require waiting 2 hours outside because they only take utility assistance apps 1 day a week & only the first 5 people in the door. And I'd have to drag dd along with me as well.

 

I'm tired of living in a house with no heat or A/C {in southern TX}. It's set up for central a/c, but I haven't been able to afford to put in even a used system. In winter we freeze, even with space heaters. In summer we fry, and try to spend the hottest days killing time in stores / library / etc - anywhere cool.

 

I'm tired of living in a house that is falling apart. The tiles are all cracking from probable foundation issues, we have serious plumbing issues making it so I can barely run water at all, and the windows are so drafty it can move a heavy fleece blanket nailed over them for a curtain.

 

I'm tired of dealing with dd's issues. Aspie, OCD, and a whole lot of attitude. It's the attitude that gets me the most.

 

 

*hugs* BlueTalon. I think I might know you from another forum {MDC} too {either that or her story is nearly identical}.

[LibraryLover]

I hate money. Why is education so expensive?  This pisses me off.

[Ameena]

Oh and I'm tired of working with an antique laptop. It's close to 10 years old, and freezes up more than it works. Plus every 5 minutes or so I get a script error that makes it freeze up yet again. I've upgraded to Vista {from XP} wiped the HD, everything I can think of, and it's still acting up. Now it's doing random blue screens again too.

[Luckymama]

Dh switched firms in 2005 to "help his father transition to retirement."

 

Nine years ago. We had envisioned three-five years.

 

Fil (note the lack of 'd') talks the talk about partnerships but refuses to do sign anything. Dh has given him THE ultimatum---fil has until Oct 1 to sign the documents drafted by dh, fil, and their manager or that's it. No more helping with fil's clients, no more answering questions, no more tech support because fil refuses to learn the software they've been using for a five freaking years, no more admin support............and also no financial support from dh (fil would receive a stepped-down percentage of their joint accounts over a five year period should he sign the f-ing paper).

[Dmmetler]

If one more person says "I wish I'd known about X" for our HS group, when I've posted X on the group's chatboards, calendar, and FB page, I'm going to scream. What do I need to do-go to your house with an engraved invitation? Sheesh!

[SeaConquest]

I'm sick of postpartum depression. And of being fat.

[Donna]

I had a blow up with my parents 19 months ago. Prior to the rift they were very involved in our lives but there were issues that built up (concerning my husband and oldest son) then they said very hurtful things to me and I couldn't take it any more. I didn't speak to them for 16 months, then over Christmas, I began talking to my mother a bit….keeping a distance emotionally but attempting to build some sort of relationship. I have a hard time staying angry.  

 

I told my parents they had to accept all my family members or I couldn't have a relationship with them and I thought they understood. I took dd over a couple times to sew with my mom a few times the past few weeks. Last weekend I told them about a performance dd was doing that was very important to her and they said they'd try to make it. Before we had the rift, we traveled to things together but I let them know I couldn't drive with them because dd was spending a day at a school sharing her music and I had to take her directly from the school thing to the performance. My dh even drove separately. 

 

I saved my parents seats and watched for them. They came into the venue about 5 min before the concert started. I saw them across the room and waved so they'd see me. They saw my dh sitting with me and I saw them talking with my father acting like he wanted to leave then my mother nodded to me so I knew she saw me but instead of coming to sit in the seats I saved, they sat three rows behind us without saying anything to us.

 

I can't imagine what excuse they might try to make up for their behavior. I am more than a little hurt. I went out of my way to try to make things better with them (when they were initially the ones who said very hurtful things to me and about my family). I am frustrated and feel like it is hopeless to try to fix anything. 

[BlueTaelon]

I realize I'm blessed, but yeah I'm still tired.

 

I'm tired of being a single mom. I WANT A HUSBAND to lean on, to take the slack, and maybe even extend the family. Probaly not going to happen though.

 

I'm tired of barely making enough to make ends meet, even with state benefits. Yeah we have food, but that doesn't feed the cat or keep the electric on or the water or pay bus fare or or or or anything else non-food we need. I'm in a catch 22 of if I make enough to get by, then I make too much to qualify for medicaid for myself {I'm in a state that didn't expand} and without medicaid to pay for medications I need, I end up right back in the hospital. Or worse. I'm tired of calling the county office that does utility assistance only be to told "You are on the mail out list...4-6 weeks & you should have an app in the mail". I started calling on FEBRUARY 4th folks - it's been OVER 6 weeks, with no sign of it. My other alternative is to get up at 4 am to catch a bus at 5 am & go across town into a bad neighborhood & wait outside a building for 2 hours to get on to the same program via the back-door method. And yes, it does require waiting 2 hours outside because they only take utility assistance apps 1 day a week & only the first 5 people in the door. And I'd have to drag dd along with me as well.

 

I'm tired of living in a house with no heat or A/C {in southern TX}. It's set up for central a/c, but I haven't been able to afford to put in even a used system. In winter we freeze, even with space heaters. In summer we fry, and try to spend the hottest days killing time in stores / library / etc - anywhere cool.

 

I'm tired of living in a house that is falling apart. The tiles are all cracking from probable foundation issues, we have serious plumbing issues making it so I can barely run water at all, and the windows are so drafty it can move a heavy fleece blanket nailed over them for a curtain.

 

I'm tired of dealing with dd's issues. Aspie, OCD, and a whole lot of attitude. It's the attitude that gets me the most.

 

 

*hugs* BlueTalon. I think I might know you from another forum {MDC} too {either that or her story is nearly identical}.

 *hugs* I was reading and thinking "Hey! Don't I know her from MDC?" lol:) Have you put in an app for income based housing else where? I totally get the aspie, OCD, attitude thing, not sure dd13 is going to survive into adulthood at the rate she's going. My mother LOVES to say "she's just like you were!" ummm no mom, she's way worse, I didn't have autism or OCD. I had to laugh about your wanting a husband, I've never had one but I have had long term relationships and to me they seemed like having another kid to take care of. Do men actually step up and help? All I see are women complaining about how awful their DH's are. I have decided I need a wife, at least they are known for taking care of whats needed lol:) May we both have better luck soon:)

[Meadowlark]

I am sick of...

 

Waiting in line for 15 minutes only to have a new cashier step up next to me and ask for the next person in line, at which point the very last person enthusiastically rushes over to said cashier. And the most annoying part? The ignorant cashier welcomes them with open arms. Clueless. Steam then coming out of my ears.

[Cammie]

:grouphug: :grouphug: to all of you.

 

I'm tired of feeling like I wasted my life.  I had such big plans for myself.  I have had a great education (and lots of it.)  I went to law school because I thought if I had a "profession" I would feel fulfilled.  Then we moved to India, I gave up that work for a while and now...I'm at a loss.  I need to so something, I want to do something, I just can't seem to get started.  I feel I have disappointed my family, my DH and myself.

[Jkacz]

I'm tired of being the maid and cook to my ungrateful children.

I'm tired of having to lose my cool and scream to get them to do what I ask. And then feeling bad about it.

I'm tired of the hours DH has been having to out in at his job. It's 10 pm and he's still not home since before 7am this morning. What's sad is that I'm not surprised. I'm tired of feeling like a single parent.

I'm tired of the children sleeping in my room every night.

 

I'm tired of having no time for myself. I'm tired of being fat because I have no time to exercise.

[Ameena]

 *hugs* I was reading and thinking "Hey! Don't I know her from MDC?" lol:) Have you put in an app for income based housing else where? I totally get the aspie, OCD, attitude thing, not sure dd13 is going to survive into adulthood at the rate she's going. My mother LOVES to say "she's just like you were!" ummm no mom, she's way worse, I didn't have autism or OCD. I had to laugh about your wanting a husband, I've never had one but I have had long term relationships and to me they seemed like having another kid to take care of. Do men actually step up and help? All I see are women complaining about how awful their DH's are. I have decided I need a wife, at least they are known for taking care of whats needed lol:) May we both have better luck soon:)

 

Small net world :) I'm on the wait list for our local housing. Been on it for 2 years, looking at probably another 3-5 years to wait. Not 100% sure if I will take it when it comes as it would be a whole lot of rules {and an apt} for maybe a $100 savings a month. Guess it will depend on how bad the house is by then. Yeah I hear ya on the DH's & complaints. I need one like my friends DH - he is a GEM. Married a gal with 3 kids already, and treats her like a queen. But the odds of me finding one are slim.

[readinmom]

Tired of being the fixer...

The financial fixer, the problem fixer, the...you get the picture

 

I'm tired of not having any money...I've worked too hard and too long to live this way.

I'm tired of fighting for my son to get a 504 plan for his education

I'm tired of stressing how important a good education is to unwilling ears

I'm tired of being the mediator between my brothers and sisters

I'm tired of being exhausted every single day

 

That is all!

[itsheresomewhere]

For the love of all, you are the program's director and have been for years.  Why is it you don't know the answer to simple questions?  

[BlueTaelon]

ok ladies, in light of my venting I found something positive cause dwelling on the crap just invites more crap ya know?, tonight I made a pork roast for dinner, I suck at making them TBH but tonights was awesome and leftovers shredded beautifully for shredded tacos tomorrow. Even both kids really liked it:) I found out one of my fav 80's movie is now on DVD so when my VHS copy bites the dust I can get a dvd copy:) The mechanic called about my breaks, he can't find a darn thing wrong. Best guess is since I was parking I was probably on autopilot and had killed the engine but hadn't fully turned the key to off when the car started down the hill (at which point I was focused on trying to stop the car and not the engine state) so the master cylinder wasn't able to create enough vacuum to work the breaks. Best part? No charge:) Only thing in the whole engine he found was was the air intake into the turbo was loose enough to fall off which he tightened for me:) My step dad is giving me a ride into town tomorrow to pick my baby up:)

[nmoira]

:grouphug:

 

I want everything to go back to like it was just a few months ago. I'm so tired of pretending to be mentally stronger than I am.

[suzybluecheese]

:grouphug:

 

I want everything to go back to like it was just a few months ago. I'm so tired of pretending to be mentally stronger than I am.

 

Sending you a big hug.

[Serenade]

I'm sick of my teenager arguing with me, especially about stupid stuff.

[Sisyphus]

I'm so sorry others feel the way I do! Truly, I wish it was just me, but I am also irrationally feeling better that it isn't just me up late at night, stressed so much about money, money, money. We did everything "right" and those who also did are doing so well, and we are...not. I have a highly talented kid I can't give opportunities to because I can't afford them, and it kills me. I don't need anything for myself, but not having it for my kids just hurts. I'm tired of being sad and tired and worried. How I wish we all werent! And yet, I feel better knowing it isn't just me in this spot because sometimes I feel like I just must be bad or unlucky or deserve it somehow.

[suzybluecheese]

I'm so sorry others feel the way I do! Truly, I wish it was just me, but I am also irrationally feeling better that it isn't just me up late at night, stressed so much about money, money, money. We did everything "right" and those who also did are doing so well, and we are...not. I have a highly talented kid I can't give opportunities to because I can't afford them, and it kills me. I don't need anything for myself, but not having it for my kids just hurts. I'm tired of being sad and tired and worried. How I wish we all werent! And yet, I feel better knowing it isn't just me in this spot because sometimes I feel like I just must be bad or unlucky or deserve it somehow.

 

My sentiments exactly.

[Ausmumof3]

I'm tired of being the maid and cook to my ungrateful children.

I'm tired of having to lose my cool and scream to get them to do what I ask. And then feeling bad about it.

I'm tired of the hours DH has been having to out in at his job. It's 10 pm and he's still not home since before 7am this morning. What's sad is that I'm not surprised. I'm tired of feeling like a single parent.

I'm tired of the children sleeping in my room every night.

 

I'm tired of having no time for myself. I'm tired of being fat because I have no time to exercise.

This is pretty much me. Except we're about to go on a much needed holiday and I seriously hope for change when we come home.

[fraidycat]

*hugs* I was reading and thinking "Hey! Don't I know her from MDC?" lol:) Have you put in an app for income based housing else where? I totally get the aspie, OCD, attitude thing, not sure dd13 is going to survive into adulthood at the rate she's going. My mother LOVES to say "she's just like you were!" ummm no mom, she's way worse, I didn't have autism or OCD. I had to laugh about your wanting a husband, I've never had one but I have had long term relationships and to me they seemed like having another kid to take care of. Do men actually step up and help? All I see are women complaining about how awful their DH's are. I have decided I need a wife, at least they are known for taking care of whats needed lol:) May we both have better luck soon:)

There are a few good ones out there. Some are even trainable. ;) Mine cooks, cleans and does dishes, along with being a great Dad and awesome husband. His biggest downfall is his job and working hours! We've had our rough patches, for sure, but he's still a keeper.

[DawnM]

My aunt is nearing the end of her cancer battle.  I hate cancer.  I hate death.  

[texasmama]

I wish I could line up every person on this thread who needs a hug and go down the line hugging you all.  Then I would start again at the front of the line and keep it up until someone felt a tiny bit better.

[Hoot]

I'm tired of money.

 

I'm tired of being told that I should find a job to work one or two days a week over the summer for a couple of hours a day. Seriously, tell me where I'm going to find a job like that. I'm looking. People who are willing to work all day every day cannot find a job. Where in the heck am I going to find one that fulfills such narrow parameters.

 

I'm tired of the price of online homeschool classes. Really? $500 - $600 for a single class for an hour one day a week.

 

I'm tired of cleaning.

 

I'm frustrated that my aunt lives less than 5 min. from her mother and yet she won't call her or go over there to help her. I live 35 min. away and have to be the one who checks on her. Oh, and she is quickly losing her memory, probably to alzheimer's, and I don't know what the heck to do. This is her DAUGHTER'S job, not mine.

 

I'm tired of my kid stuttering and stammering, knowing exactly what he needs to do to get past it but completely ignoring us when we remind him. He was in speech therapy but just didn't listen even though he was capable. At $80 out of pocket per hour, I gave up and decided that I didn't care anymore.

 

I'm tired of having a morning sickness feeling all day and all night every single day... and not even being pregnant.

[Night Elf]

I'm frustrated with the mental health issues I will have for life. I feel so very overwhelmed sometimes and it makes me cry that this is not something I will outgrow or have cured.

[Annie Anne]

I am so sick of cooking and grocery shopping that I'm almost kind of truly physically sick just thinking about meal planning. Nothing sounds good if I have to fetch it and cook it. Nothing.

 

I have always hated cooking so nearly 26 years of this is getting old. I may decide that if the boys want to eat, they have to figure it out for themselves. Dh won't like it, but I feel very done. Then again, maybe that is how he feels about work and I need to adjust my attitude.

 

GAH!

 

I quit cooking under the guise of teaching my boys to cook. (I really am teaching them to cook) All I do now is supervise. They do the dishes too. And the man I married does the grocrey shopping. I make a cake every now and then.