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When you have an opportunity to do nothing . . . are you able to enjoy that opportunity?

Rose in BC

By Rose in BC,
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Rose in BC

Rose in BC

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My life is a constant state of chaos (at least it feels like it).  I work full-time, homeschool, and have two special needs kids.  Yesterday I took the afternoon off work . . . I was just feeling burned out.  I went home and really did nothing.  . . read, watched two movies, ate ordered in Chinese.  Today my house is empty because dh took son snowboarding (which is an hour away from here).  they'll be home at dinner.  My dd is at work.

 

I am listening to an audio book while knitting, and preparing dinner . . . my new weekend favourite:  pho.  I will walk dogs after I finish my tea.

 

The problem is I'm always thinking I should be doing something . . . like cleaning the house, etc.

 

Are you able to enjoy down time?

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saraha

saraha

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I don't either if I am at home, there is always something that needs to be done.  Like right now, it is Sat afternoon, all 6 kids are occupying themselves, and I am messing around on here because I know if I go into the living room, I will see the laundry that needs to be folded, the dust in the corners etc and not really relax.  If I leave and can't see it, then I can relax.

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Seasider

Seasider

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I have just been thinking about this and the honest answer is, no. I don't fully enjoy it because I know there is always something waiting for my attention. It's a bummer!

 

Rose, dear woman, YOU of all people should feel no guilt over taking all the down time you need. Call it respite care if need be, but don't begrudge yourself of it. I believe you have a huge earned backlog of it.

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marbel

marbel

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I usually have to leave the house to enjoy downtime.  There are too many things to do here and I can't enjoy myself when there is work to be done.  

 

A behavioral psychologist we used to see told me that that is very common and that people always say they have to leave home to enjoy down time. He said it is important to learn to take home down time as seriously as beach down time. He didn't say it was easy, just that it is important.

 

So I am working on that.  It's not going too well!  But I keep trying.

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lynn

lynn

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I have learned to take time to do nothing.  On Fridays my kids have co-op for 2.5 hours.    On some of those Fridays I pick up whatever it is I am in the mood for dessert, sushi, steak out,  whatever and come home and read, listen to music or watch tv.  I set a timer so I don't get to lost in my alone time and forget to pick up my kids.... :leaving:  

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Dory

Dory

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I can enjoy it if I am doing a hobby that feels a little bit useful. I enjoy scrapbooking every now and then and I will watch a movie while I do that. It's relaxing and I still don't feel too guilty. I will knit afghans or hats while I'm listening to music or watching a show.

 

Really, so long as my hands are doing something, I don't feel guilty.

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Mommyfaithe

Mommyfaithe

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I am getting good at it, but it took me years to figure out that it was ok for me to do NOTHING once in a while. I always used to feel like I had to earn my existence, so...if there was anything needing doing, I was going to darn well do it. That led to health issues and serious burnout. Now, I prioritize what is necessary and what is nice to have done. I try to get the necessaries done, and then if I want to, I do the nices. If I think I need a rest, I take it. No guilt! If I have down time and I am not tired or in need of a rest, I will go for a long run or putz in my garden, or look through my pinterest boards, read a book, watch a movie etc. I learned the world doesn't fall apart because I enjoy my own time and I am not earning my existence.

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Garga

Garga

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I purpose to enjoy downtime. The other night the kids were in bed, DH was out for an hour and I could have done chores, but I chose to sit on the couch in total silence, eat a bit of chocolate and read a book.

 

As the kids get older and as I get older I get better and better just letting myself sit and relax. As another poster said, I'm getting very good at it. And I feel not one smidge of guilt. I think there's no guilt because I'm doing it deliberately and I'm doing it to take care of myself. I give quite a lot to my family so there's no guilt. There's a lovely balance going on right now in my life.

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Rose in BC

Rose in BC

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I did enjoy the afternoon.  The crowds are back but the teens have plans tonight.  I've decided to continue my day of leisure until bedtime :).

 

I have developed some serious health issues this year that I'd really like to reverse. 

 

it was interesting to read everyone's responses.  If I think about it, I think I come by my restlessness honestly .  . . my 86 year old, German mother still prides herself through her work. 

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KungFuPanda

KungFuPanda

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I can compartmentalize like a BOSS. If I waited until everything was done to relax I'd be a tightly-wound nut job. There will ALWAYS be chores to do. I have no problem taking a day off. Right now I'm behind on laundry, but I'm going to watch a movie with DH and not even bother to fold.

 

I can't remember the last time I was alone in the house. Sounds delightful.

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Hannah

Hannah

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My ideal vacation would be a week at home alone.  I'd go into a cleaning and de-cluttering frenzy for 2 days and then crash with books, movies and crafts.  Not a thing would be out of place for the whole week!

Day-to-day I can't relax when there are chores to do - and there always are.  I read for about half an hour before bed, and spend bits of time reading the boards during the day.

 

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Carrie12345

Carrie12345

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50/50 for me.

I really do enjoy doing nothing... when I can shut my brain off.

The *opportunity to do nothing is much different (for me) from nothing needing to be done. So, half the time I feel too guilty about all of the things I could be doing and just go do them.

But, oh, that other half is so glorious!

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Tap

Tap

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I used to be that way until a few years ago when I was essentially couch bound with a bad back.  I was forced to relax because I couldn't move LOL  

 

I retained a bit of that over the past few years, but honestly the guilt starts to build and I give in and start doing things.  

 

One of my favorite places is going to the cabin.  I still have to cook and pick up the house, but there aren't any projects looming over me or closets bulging out the door.   I save all of the major cleaning for the day we leave so I can enjoy my time there.  I make sure it is immaculate when we go, so when when we arrive the next time, it is clean and stress free to walk into.  It is one of the few places I can go to honestly relax and let go of some stress.

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FaithManor

FaithManor

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I am doing absolutely nothing today. My partner and I pulled off an absolutely gorgeous wedding working 3 hours on Thursday, 12 hours on Friday, and 10.5 hours Saturday. Since we had such a good tear down crew available after the reception, Dh and I as well as my partner and her husband, danced until 11:00 p.m. at the reception. Soooo much fun, but my feet and legs are barking, barking, barking...big St. Bernard wants of eat the bad cat kind of barking! I did not go to church today, I have soaked my feet in espom salt and lavender water, and we have a movie playing right now. Outside of posting here when I feel like it, I'm not encouraging the use of my brain or body for much. It's not common, but when this kind of rare do nothing day occurs, I enjoy it very, very much.

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Entropymama

Entropymama

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I have a confession - for years I would try to take 'time off' to watch TV or something and I'd always end up getting up and doing housework. My husband would get frustrated with me because was supposed to be relaxing. It took me forever to realize that I like housework! I find it calming and satisfying, especially if the house is empty. On the other hand, if I have a good book to read or project to work on I'll do that. 

 

I think the key is finding what recharges you and doing that. 

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