Does the breadwinner in your house love their job?

[Laura Corin]

I earn some of the bread around here.  I don't hate my job.  It's a bit boring but it could be much worse.  It's fine.  Husband has had some jobs he loved and some he hated.  He's just working himself into a new career, so I doubt it he has an opinion at present.

 

L

[Gentlemommy]

He loves his job. He has a really fun job, and is self employed, so pretty much his own boss for the most part. Sometimes his job has him doing hard stuff, or traveling, or working really long hours, but he loves it and would do anything else. He is a stuntman for film and tv.

[Gentlemommy]

Yes he does but that leaves no flexibility for life choices for the rest of us.

And yes to this. His job is sporadic, and he doesn't normally say no to work. This means he has gone out of town the day after two of our three kids was born, been gone for months at a time, and left me without a reliable partner/parent for the kids. It's very very hard on me and of course, the kids. It's caused some resentment, but I'm working on getting healthy and more independent so that I can remedy that. ;)

[LLMom]

Not anymore.  Dh is a public school teacher.  Lots has changed in 23 years.  It is almost at the hate level.  :sad: But he only has 4 1/2 years before he can retire from teaching. :hurray:  Then he will work on the golf course or at the local tennis ranch.

[dbmamaz]

Sigh. My husband hates his job so much it negatively impacts our lives in many ways, but he is SO risk-averse . . .

 

he has done a few interviews for a new job, but nothing meets his exacting standards.  I mean, he's generally an unhappy person, but I really wonder how he's gotten in to three really toxic situations.  actually, this job is less toxic than the last two - much, much less toxic than the last one.  I did convince him to quit the last one without anything lined up.  It was just not worth it - his direct supervisor was lying to get him in trouble.  

 

Here he has no direct supervisor.  2 years ago, someone in another department wanted him to do some work for her and she would pay him extra for it.  He worked nights and weekends.  The project was changed partway through, so it required more hours than originally quoted.  after he finished it, she refused to pay him.  Needless to say, he was livid.  That time his sort-of-supervisor stepped in, but he never did get paid for all the hours he worked.  

 

Now he's mostly tired of being asked to clean up disasters caused by incompetent people who are paid more than he is.  the really really bad person, the one who no one wants to work with because, even with precise written instructions, he cant do anything correctly, and just lost thousands of rows of data that cannot be recovered . . . his almost-boss was collecting data on how many errors this guy has made, in an attempt to get him fired (which seems to be really hard, he's been in his job for 3 years) . . .but the almost-boss apparently is going to lose his job as part of a merger, so he doesnt care any more and is letting the really incompetent person continue to mess up every project he touches, and coworkers keep pressuring dh to clean up this guys work before it goes live and dh refuses because he wants the guy to demonstrate his true colors . . . but just so toxic.

 

dh says he will start looking again after the new software goes live and he gets training in it, because he wants that on his resume.  He's not willing to do any major changes, like serious career change or move to another state, while i'm still homeschooling.  

[Julie Smith]

He did three years ago.

 

But now the company makes ATnT look well managed. (ATnT is the company that the cartoon strip filbert is based on. )

[theYoungerMrsWarde]

My husband is not working his dream job. It's a job he never thought he'd end up doing. But Life happened, Plan A didn't pan out, and he had a pregnant wife to support. 7 1/2 years later, he's REALLY good at it! He's invaluable to his boss and an inspiration to new employees. He gets some personal satisfaction from what he's doing, and enjoys it for the most part. He even had a hand in helping change a state law regarding his occupation. He's been offered work at a side company because of how good he has become at a particular aspect of his daily work. It's not the greatest pay, but it's enough that I can stay home and educate our children so that they can find their passions and work their dream job some day. I am so grateful to Dh. And even though some days he comes home and complains about what he thinks he could or should be doing at a different job, he still works hard every day. <3

[theYoungerMrsWarde]

He did three years ago.

 

But now the company makes ATnT look well managed. (ATnT is the company that the cartoon strip filbert is based on. )

 

This makes so much sense. We've had to deal with ATnT and :cursing: :banghead: .

[73349]

He loves his field, and we are very happy with the paycheck. The company and job have been frustrating at times.

He's likely to be laid off this year and probably will not take my advice to jump ship now. :(

[Mrs Mungo]

Generally, he really loves his job. However, there is a lot of bureaucracy that comes with his job that he does not always love. 

[Venia]

I like my job very much. I can't say I "love" it, but the working environment is great. Good people, stable (ok but not great) pay and hours, good benefits and more importantly management is supportive of balancing home and work life. As a scientist with an advanced degree I could easily find a higher paying, more prestigious position, but the tradeoffs are not worth the money to me. I am happy.

[Lolly]

He did three years ago.

 

But now the company makes ATnT look well managed. (ATnT is the company that the cartoon strip filbert is based on. )

My brother worked for ATnT once. He will now have nothing to do with them whatsoever. Absolutely hates them. 

[AlmiraGulch]

I am the breadwinner.  I do not love my job.

 

It's ok.  It pays well.  I'm very, very grateful for it.  But no, I do not love it at all.

 

Mostly I feel stuck in it and that makes me resentful.

 

I always say I want to sell my stuff, move to Hawaii and open a fish taco stand on the Kona coast of the Big Island.  I think I'd love that, but only if I had enough money that I was only doing it because I loved it.  My theory is that for those of us who don't just inherently love work in general every job would become a chore, and eventually you wouldn't love it anyway.

 

 

[happypamama]

Yeah, I think he does generally love his job. Has its bad days, but yes, he really does enjoy what he does, and he feels that he's pretty good at it. I do think it is personally fulfilling for him, and I think he does feel strongly that he's doing a good thing (especially when they restore old buildings and such).

 

I haven't worked outside the home since we have had children, but before that, I was a real estate agent. I liked it okay, and it was a good job, but I didn't necessarily love it. It was always a temporary thing for me. Before that, I was a nanny, and that is a job that I truly loved. I knew it was temporary too (that's how I supported us when DH was still in school for his career), but I really did love it.

[Hen]

my husband loves his job, he's a building inspector for schools and hospitals.  It has the right mix of office work and outside work. When he first got his civil engineering degree, he had an engineering job that was in an office and he quickly hated it.  He makes good money, loves construction, and gets off work pretty early because construction starts early in the morning.

 

his dream job though, is to man the churro cart at Disneyland- but he couldn't support a family on that :D

[KrissiK]

Well, he doesn't love his job, but he is a mechanical engineer and he enjoys the challenge, it stimulates his mind, he likes his co-workers well enough, it is not monotonous. When I think of people loving their jobs I think of people who are just passionate about what they do and every day they wake up with joy and zeal. Dh isn't like that. But yeah, he really does like what he does. But he also likes being home and taking vacation.

[mytwomonkeys]

my husband totally LOVES his job. he is a worship pastor & oversees the media and worship teams at our church campuses.  he works with an amazing team of people and volunteers. honestly, he has to "work" at turning it all off sometimes, ensuring our family time has his undivided attention.

[Wheres Toto]

We have two breadwinners in our house. :001_smile:

 

Dh loves what he does.  He is in the field he always wanted to be in from when he was a kid.  He likes his current position although there is some stress in that it's a consulting job, not a permanent position, so there's some uncertainty (although a permanent position isn't necessarily secure either).

 

I'm doing what I've spent most of my adult working life doing.  It's not what I dreamed of doing but I'm good at it and it pays well.  Being realistic, if I HAD to return to work (and I did), I probably have the best position I could hope for.  I like the people, the work is easy and interesting most of the time, I have enough flexibility around working at home that I don't have to stress every time a kid is sick or we have snow or I have to take some time off to deal with an appointment.  The company has great benefits, lots of perks, and my boss is great. 

[mytwomonkeys]

I guess we are both the breadwinner now but yeah for the first time ever he loves his job. I make cosmetics and he does all the selling and pr. He's a charming british extrovert who gets to chat with women while selling them stuff.

 

 that sounds super cool!!!!!

[sunnyday]

On whether it's important to be fulfilled by your work: http://waitbutwhy.com/2013/09/why-generation-y-yuppies-are-unhappy.html

 

If we won the lottery and became completely financially independent, DH would either quit or pare back to working no more than once weekly. He frequently gets overwhelmed by the stress of his job, and dreams of leaving it behind. We save like nobody's business in hopes that he can retire early. That said, he does have to work right now (even if I quit being a SAHM and started a career I couldn't dream of matching his income earning potential), and as such, there is no career that would be better for him nor really any specific position or location that would suit him as well. He likes the variety, the intellectual challenge, the pay, the job security. So he tolerates the exhausting hours, annoying people he works with and for, and the political wrangling that surrounds him.

[J-rap]

My husband absolutely loved his job.  It is such a shame that he can't do it anymore.

[Ivey]

Since Dh moved into management about 8 years ago, he does not love his work, but really likes the environment and the people he works with. He also enjoys the occasional travel and the flexibility that come with his position. 

[Ripley]

I retired last year, but I have been the (divorced) breadwinner - and yes, I really liked my job. I miss it and would go back if I weren't homeschooling. My ex-husband was the breadwinner before that, and he has always loved his jobs; both as soldier and civilian (in an unrelated field).

 

Our friends were all engineers and lawyers, who always out-earned us; but they came to envy US because we both always loved our jobs. There is something to be said for being paid to do what you enjoy and are good at. I don't think you have to enjoy your job, but it's worked out for us. :)

 

I'll say that I miss my job, and don't love being a SAHP and full-time homeschooler. It's boring and tedious for me. I like having more time with my kids, but I don't care for the day to day staying home bit at all. I loved having them travel with me, and they miss is also.

[SweetMissMagnolia]

love it as in is passionate about it----ugh NO.....Hubby loves planes and enjoys being outside (in nice weather) but hates all the BS he has to go through sometimes....he works on the flight line at a navy base-he services the planes and does other things (you've seen the guys waving their hands telling the plane where to go-that's what he does)......it pays extremely well for where we live.....he's been there over 20 years.....

[fraidycat]

No. Not love. There are aspects he enjoys, but overall, he's counting down the days to retirement.

[Running the race]

My husband is blessed to be able to do what he loves. He is an orchestra conductor.

[creekland]

 

If we won the lottery and became completely financially independent,

 

Well, if you put it that way, my guy would be out on a sailboat 24/7 stopping at ports of call long enough to assist with any local charity work they needed (for free of course, since Americans usually can't get work permits).  He works with water and water systems - a need in many places - so has been wondering about doing this in retirement (some) anyway.  I know if I weren't around, he'd already be doing it.

 

As for me, I kept my (part time) job when we were doing well financially because I needed it for my sanity.  If we became global nomads, I'd have to find something to do.  The rocking chair and/or TV just doesn't do it for me.

 

[Elfknitter.#]

I thought I would love my career but really I just enjoy it.  Right now, I do not like my current location.  It took a year to find temp work after I was laid off. Temps are contracted with an agency and most temp assignments last 4 months.  It is at least work in my chosen field, but not the type of work I like to do.

[Farrar]

Dh feels ho-hum about his job.  It's not too much work.  They pay him well.  He would like to find something where he's more fulfilled and he could probably get something, but it would mean a massive pay cut, so he's sticking with it.  Sigh.  He gets a lot more joy from his unpaid (mostly - he has had a few "professional" roles) work acting.

[LMV]

I'm a physician.  Most of the time I enjoy what I do and feel it what I am called to do (and to do to the best of my ability with compassion).  

 

Other times it can be hard to be a physician.  You really have to have patience, compassion, and a thick skin because you're often dealing with people who may be having the worst day of their life and may not be in the emotional space to not take their frustration and anger out on you.  You also have to have evolved enough in your own emotional space that you can process some of the horrible things you will see and manage put your own feelings aside in the moment to do what you need to perhaps to save a life (and sometimes to accept that even though you really anything and everything that could have been done patients die sometimes).  There are definitely moments in the practice of medicine that I don't love but there are also moments that remind why I do this and inspire me to continue. 

 

My husband is an attorney.  He currently does mostly cooperate law but he worked as a county prosecutor in the past and I think he would agree that, in that context, he saw some of the best and the worst in people.  He has certainly had his own moments of professional frustration and his moments of renewing clarity.  I suspect to some extent that is probably true (perhaps just on different levels) for all, or at least most.

[nd293]

Dh is happy at work. He does find the people frustrating at times, but he'd keep going to work if we won the lottery, I think.

[sbgrace]

No, love is too strong. He really likes aspects of it, and is good at it. I don't think there is anything he hates about it. I know today he told me what he worked on was terribly tedious. I know he's not a fan of tedious! But that's not every, or even most, days. He doesn't ever dread going to work in the morning. I hope my boys are in careers that fit them as well, though finding something a person absolutely loves and can earn a living at would be all the better! 

[Camelfeet]

Dh loves his job.  It is usually mentally stimulating and the pretty good pay/benefits are good considering our age.  He comes home excited sometimes.    

 

Sometimes its stressful and he claims he hates it, but I don't believe him.  Last night we got a call at 1am telling him he needed to fly to France.  He was on a plane by 6am.  :/  But I think even that he secretly enjoys.

 

Before we started homeschooling, I worked 60 hours a week at a job I hated.  I wouldn't wish that upon anyone.

[Tap]

Dh likes what he does, but gets frustrated by poorly trained coworkers/management.  His old job was annoyingly heavy in managment training. Now that he is with a company that offers very little training to the staff, he sees the problem that the training deficit causes.  LOL

 

 

He sells  a hard to sell product, so he gets discouraged, but he knows that his peers aren't doing any better, so his job is safe.  

 

I work in pharmacy.  I like it ok, not love, but have lost respect for my company.  They work us too hard, too fast, and with insufficient and sometimes sub-par staff.  

[Element]

My dh likes his job. He chose to study accounting in college and, near the end of the program, decided he really did not want to work in accounting. He wanted to be in management. Fortunately, he stuck it out, got his accounting degree, and now works in office management for a large home-improvement business. The majority of his time is spent auditing other people's work, so the accounting knowledge comes in handy. The rest of his time is spent being around power tools. He's pretty happy with the setup, I think. :)

[ElizabethB]

Generally, he really loves his job. However, there is a lot of bureaucracy that comes with his job that he does not always love. 

 

When my mom first went back to work she did temp jobs for a while, then worked at Boeing.  I was still in the Air Force then.  She complained about the bureaucracy for a while and said something along the lines of "but you wouldn't know about bureaucracy."  Good thing I wasn't drinking coffee!!

[albeto.]

Yes. Like a giddy school girl. 

[Chris in VA]

Dh loves his job--he's a priest. He has great pay, benefits, retirement pension, housing, continuing ed allowance, sabbatical, etc. He works 6 days a week and is on call all 6 (so frequent nights) and has night time meetings. He does get 4 weeks off in the summer.

 

The hardest part for him, I think, is something he has to do, from time to time--this month there are two funerals of people he's known for quite some time. It is hard to bury friends.

[freeindeed]

My husband is a surgical nurse and he truly enjoys his job most of the time.

[Jenny in Florida]

My husband goes through phases when he really enjoys his job but mostly just kind of tolerates it.

 

He works in IT and has worked for a number of large companies over the last three decades. He's been with his current employer for about 15 years and has had a variety of projects and roles. For a year or so, he was working on a really cool project for which he was the lead, and he happily spent a lot of non-office hours plugged into his laptop, absorbed in the work. However, he was recently shuffled onto a new team as part of a departmental reorganization, and he is less interested in the work, itself, and frustrated with the leadership.

 

I work very part time, making very little per hour, but I like my job, tutoring online. If my son does actually go away to school next year, I'll be looking for ways to expand my earning capabilities, and I'm hoping to do more teaching/tutoring.

[Aelwydd]

Oops, wrong thread!

[ThatHomeschoolDad]

DW decided to be a band director when she was in middle school, and has been one since 1987 (first high school, now middle school).  She adores her students, and is one of those teachers kids go back to visit long after college.

 

However...

 

The system is slowly, silently, irrevocably crushing whole swaths of kids into powder.  With the policy-du-jour set by (mostly) male politicians whose interaction with real students and teachers amounts to the semi-annual conferences they might attend for their own cherubs, it's those few remaining veteran teachers in the 20-40 year range, who started their careers before NCLB, who remember what it was once like, but will likely never be again.

 

Don't even get me started on PARCC....

[creekland]

Oops, wrong thread!

 

Does this mean you're in the like or dislike category?  :lol:

 

[stephanier.1765]

My dh is a postal carrier and he hates it. Not the delivering of mail but the constant battle with higher ups. Their job is to cut costs but often they try to do that at the cost of the postal carrier by getting them to do work (that isn't their work) for no pay. It's extremely frustrating to him.

[La Condessa]

Sometimes he loves it, sometimes he hates it, but still derives great satisfaction from it--the latter is when he is working on cases with child victims. Sometimes it gets so bad, it makes him physically ill.

 

ETA: he is a DDA