John Rosemond's column this week: advice to homeschooling mom

[Kathryn]

Did anyone see this? What do you think? What advice would you have given if this mom asked her question here?

 

http://www.kentucky.com/2013/12/30/3011194/home-school-mom-must-set-limits.html

 

Question: I home-school my two children, ages 7 and 9. The school day lasts from 8:30 a.m. until 2 p.m., after which they usually do homework for an hour or two. During homework time, they are constantly coming to me, asking to go over material we've already covered during school. This is preventing me from getting my own work done. I find myself being frequently interrupted, and I have to admit I've lost it on a couple of occasions. What should I do?

 

Answer: You should tell your children that after 2 o'clock in the afternoon you are no longer their teacher — you're their mother, and you don't intend to reteach material you taught during school.

 

Look at it this way: If they were attending "regular" school they wouldn't have access to their teacher(s) after school hours. Likewise, in your home-schooling situation, they shouldn't be able to have "teacher" on demand after school hours. As things stand, they don't have to give you their full attention during the school day. Furthermore, you've given them permission to come to you any time they experience the slightest amount of frustration concerning homework. That circumvents the development of Perseverance, which, as you will recall, is one of Homework's Seven Hidden Values. Under the circumstances, the effectiveness of home schooling is significantly reduced and your stress level is significantly increased. If you don't put an end to this, you're going to continue to have periodic cerebral meltdowns.

 

This is a mother-child boundaries issue, as are many if not most contemporary parenting issues. Instead of you being in control of whether, at any given time, you are in the role of mother or teacher, you're allowing your children to make that determination. In any relationship, clearly defined boundaries are essential to mutual respect. Without those boundaries, one party will begin to take advantage of the other person and take her enabling for granted, as your kids are clearly doing. In the vernacular, they're manipulating you, but not consciously. They're simply doing what you're allowing them to do. You open the gate, they run through it.

 

The solution to this problem is for you to establish clear definitions of what your children can and cannot expect from Mom after school. Begin by limiting the number of school-related questions you will answer after 2 o'clock to two per child (maybe three for the younger one). Tell them that after they've finished as much of their homework as they can (and not before), each of them may bring you two (or three) questions, but that you'll spend no more than a total of 10 minutes per child answering them. After the 10 minutes, they're on their own.

 

I guarantee that if you enforce this dispassionately, your kids will (a) begin to pay better attention during school hours and (b ) eventually all but stop asking after-school questions. And you'll be able to get your Mom-work done. Independence in a parent-child relationship is always a mutual thing.

[Mrs_JWM]

I thik it sounds like good advice!

[Julie Smith]

Your kids are seven and nine. Whatever you can't get done during your school hours should just be left for another day (With the possible exception of requiring quiet reading). Perhaps you are trying to do to much, or wasting time during your school hours. 

 

 

[Dmmetler]

I'm trying to imagine homeschooling for a 7 and 9 yr old taking from 8:30-2:00 plus 2 hours of homework. My 9 yr old DD has fairly long days, but her core academics except for the science fieldwork only is 3-4 hours/day, and she's doing a much more intense schedule than most kids her age, and even with the field work, the only days she'd be busy from 8:30-4:00 or later are those that include several hours of driving time (during which she'll often get a week or more ahead in subjects like literature and history because they're easy to read in a car).

[Artichoke]

I disagree with his advice. The kiddos are 7 and 9 so I wouldn't expect them to work independently for an hour or two as the mom wants them to do. If my dc were in ps and had an hour or two of homework, I'd expect to be involved at those ages.

[AimeeM]

That is a LONG homeschool day for those ages.

Also, while a ps child may not have access to their TEACHER for help after 2, they would have access to their PARENT for help.

[LucyStoner]

I don't get it?

 

Seriously, I don't get the question but then I don't assign homework. This is after all homeschool. If my sons ask me a question, I answer them. If I am not available to explain it, I tell them I will explain it when I am finished with whatever it is I am doing. My 10 year old and I are frequently discussing science or other interesting topics over dinner or during chores or just because. I don't limit learning to school hours.

[Above The Rowan]

Your kids are seven and nine. Whatever you can't get done during your school hours should just be left for another day (With the possible exception of requiring quiet reading). Perhaps you are trying to do to much, or wasting time during your school hours.

This.

[Mrs_JWM]

In light of other responses, I have to say I'm baffled by the hour or two of homework, too.

 

Also, I agree with not limiting learning to school hours.

 

I do think, though, that it sounds like the mother needs some time to get stuffdone. I try to break up school with chores and fun stuff. It makes our day a little longer than I'd like sometimes, but I like the breaks it affords us.

[TechWife]

I think he's out of touch with homeschooling and with the way schools works these days. First, that's too much school for kids that age. Second, many parents re-teach at home and many students have tutors to help them with difficult concepts. Third, the schools around here send home work that is "above grade level" that they do not teach in the classroom. This work must be completed if the student is to earn marks of "four" in a grading period. Not earning those marks could result in the student being tracked in appropriately at too early of an age.

 

Very generally speaking, I like much of what Rosemond has to say, but on this matter I think he's clueless.

[dragons in the flower bed]

Your kids are seven and nine. Whatever you can't get done during your school hours should just be left for another day (with the possible exception of requiring quiet reading). Perhaps you are trying to do to much, or wasting time during your school hours. 

 

Yup. My advice to this mom would have been:

 

First, have a much shorter homeschool day. 8:30 - 4:30 is WAY too long for ages seven and nine. Extended academic hours can prevent a kid from having time for pretend play, outdoor exploration, gross motor exercise and creativity, which in turn can kill a child's ability to focus, which may then be contributing to their difficulties working independently. Many homeschoolers use the rule of one hour for each grade up til grade six.

 

Secondly, schedule a daily quiet time when you can get some peace. Make it a rule that from 1 to 3 no kid may ask you for anything unless necessary to prevent danger or great expense. Use half of that for work and half for just refreshing your spirit, so you can be more willfully fully present to help your kids learn whenever opportunities present themselves. 

 

He's right that moms get to have some boundaries too, to take care of themselves, but he's all wrong about how to go about it.

[OrganicAnn]

It sounds like she is assigning worksheets as homework so that they will stay busy while she gets her work done.    2 hours is a long time to expect a kid to stay busy.    Even if you include 1/2 hour of reading, that is still a long time.    I've have told her to get some educational videos or access some on the internet.    Or turn on a SoTW CD.   That will keep my kid busy for a hour or 2.

 

I think most parents that send their kids to school would expect to help/answer questions on homework assignments if asked.      

[Kathryn]

I was surprised at his answer. My thoughts were:

-That seems like a long day for a 7 and 9 year old

-The hours of homework concept was odd

-If her children are daily asking her so many questions that she needed to write to an advice columnist, perhaps she needs to reevaluate her teaching methods

-Parents help their children with homework, that's not strange. The point of homework is for a child to practice skills and make sure they understand concepts. If they don't, they should be able to ask for help. Otherwise, what's the point?

[T'smom]

Who is John Rosemond? Why would anyone listen to what he said about homeschooling? (Is this just like a Dear Abby thing where the columnist has no qualifications or does he have some sort of background in education, child development or something?

[Kathryn]

Who is John Rosemond? Why would anyone listen to what he said about homeschooling? (Is this just like a Dear Abby thing where the columnist has no qualifications or does he have some sort of background in education, child development or something?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Rosemond

 

He's a parenting "expert" known for putting down the "experts" in favor of "good old-fashioned parenting."

[Joanne]

I can't stand his work, ideas, or advice.

 

He is obtuse. He writes against things he assumes or reads into situations, reacting to his clearly identifiable filter. He assumes an adversarial and hostile battle for parenting; this is not a paradigm or world view that I can agree with for the parent/child relationship.

 

I have to go shower now: I feel slimed.

[Lady Florida.]

I can't stand his work, ideas, or advice.

 

He is obtuse. He writes against things he assumes or reads into situations, reacting to his clearly identifiable filter. He assumes an adversarial and hostile battle for parenting; this is not a paradigm or world view that I can agree with for the parent/child relationship.

 

I have to go shower now: I feel slimed.

 

This. I have always disliked his advice.

[T'smom]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Rosemond

 

He's a parenting "expert" known for putting down the "experts" in favor of good old-fashioned parenting.

Ah, thanks. I clicked on the link the OP posted but couldn't find anything other than 'columnist' to describe him. I have never heard of him before.

[Seasider]

This mom seems to be trying to duplicate school at home. So my advice for her would be vastly different than what he gave her.

 

I'd really want to know what she's assigning as homework and in what topics she's engaging with them during those scheduled "school" hours. I think his reply demonstrated his unfamiliarity with home educating and came too quickly, with not enough information.

 

I do give my 8yo assignments to do independently, but I really don't understand the use of the word "homework" in homeschooling. (Well, okay, maybe for co-op classes but not for kids who cover all subjects at home).

[PeterPan]

I can't stand his work, ideas, or advice.

 

He is obtuse. He writes against things he assumes or reads into situations, reacting to his clearly identifiable filter. He assumes an adversarial and hostile battle for parenting; this is not a paradigm or world view that I can agree with for the parent/child relationship.

 

I have to go shower now: I feel slimed.

Add my barf to your slime.  That Rosemond response was incredible.  Really?  Make sure you create an adversarial relationship for hours a day to teach perseverance???  Remind me to SKIP his sessions if he ever comes to the Cincy convention, wowsers.

 

As for my response, it sounds like the woman is doing straight curriculum through prescribed program, because that's about the only way to get so much work.  She has to learn the hard way and solve her own problem.  She has to figure out for herself that one of her values were off.  Either children are more precious than she realized and should be talked to and enjoyed or the work is too much or her perception of how much interaction children should need for a given age is off or all of the above.  Or she could just decide her value system of character instillment through long hours of work and perfect house would be best fulfilled by putting them in school, as others have done.  

 

There's no counseling that mindset.  They have to learn for themselves, and if they wanted to know, the answer was obvious.  (Something has to give, don't be an idiot, love your kids.)

[Seasider]

.... He assumes an adversarial and hostile battle for parenting....

I have only come across his writings a handful of times in my years of parenting, but now that you've pointed this out... yeah, I see it. He really does seem to have taken the authoritarian approach every time I can remember.

[PeterPan]

Did he ever actually homeschool?

Oh barf, he really is coming to Cincy.  Here's the bio they posted.  Nope, didn't homeschool, which of course is pretty obvious from his response, unless of course he is of her mindset, that the only valid homeschooling is one heavy on the school.  Notice their use of the "well-behaved" child, snort.

 

Professional Credentials

John Rosemond has worked with families, children, and parents since 1971 in the field of family psychology. In 1971, John earned his masters in psychology from Western Illinois University and was elected to the Phi Kappa Phi National Honor Society. In 1999, his alma mater conferred upon John the Distinguished Alumni Award, given only once per year. Upon acceptance, he gave the commencement address.

From 1971-1979, he worked as a psychologist in Illinois and North Carolina and directed several mental-health programs for children.

From 1980-1990. John was in full-time practice as a family psychologist with Piedmont Psychological Associates in Gastonia.

Presently, his time is devoted to speaking and writing. John is syndicated in approximately 225 newspapers nationwide. He has written eleven best-selling parenting books. He is also one of America’s busiest and most popular speakers and most certainly the busiest and most popular in his field. He’s known for his sound advice, humor and easy, relaxed, engaging style.

In the past few years, John has appeared on numerous national television programs including 20/20, Good Morning America, The View, The Today Show, CNN, as well as numerous print interviews.

John’s Bio

John was born in Asheville, NC, in 1947 to Emily and Jack Rosemond. When “Mr. Bobo†was still in the hospital, awaiting his mother’s recuperation, it is recorded in his baby book that he was visited by Lydia and Charlton Heston (who were working at the time in Asheville’s community theater and had become close friends of the Rosemonds), who brought him his first toy, a blue rubber elephant. The subtle suggestion obviously “took.â€

So, the obvious question is “What’s with this Mr. Bobo thing?†While he was still in utero John’s parents began calling him “The Bobo.†When they saw that he was a male, they dubbed him Mr. Bobo. That later diminished to simply Bobo or Bo, as all of John’s friends call him today.

Before he was a year old, John’s parents moved back to Charleston, SC, where both of them had grown up. When he was three or thereabouts, his parents divorced and Mr. Bobo and his mom remained in Charleston until she remarried when he was seven. Her second husband, a medical school professor, took them to the suburbs of Chicago. John and his stepfather had their share of “issues†over the years, culminating in John going to live with his dad in Valdosta, GA, when he was fifteen. When he was seventeen and about to enter his senior year of high school, John’s father announced that he was taking a job in Augusta, GA. Rather than attend a third high school, John opted to return for his senior year to the high school he’d attended as a freshman and sophomore, Proviso West High School in Hillside, IL, where he graduated in 1965.

After a summer spent experimenting with juvenile delinquency, John entered Western Illinois University and promptly joined a rock ‘n’ roll band as their lead singer. Over the next few years, the band underwent numerous personnel changes, culminating in a band that called itself Haynor Street Mandela. During a performance in September of 1967, John noticed a particularly attractive coed leaning on stage, staring at him, or so he hoped. After the gig, they found one another, confessed their undying rock ‘n’ roll love for one another, and were married ten months later. John played in rock bands until 1972, during which time one of his bands,  Herkemer Bog (remember, this was the 1960s), opened for REO Speedwagon on two occasions.By the time John finished graduate school, he and Willie had one child, Eric. Their second child, Amy, was born shortly thereafter, and shortly thereafter, John and Willie and Eric and Amy moved to Sylva, North Carolina, where John took his first job as a real, honest-to-goodness psychologist, working in a program that served children with behavior and learning problems. Two years later, in 1976, John and Willie moved to Gastonia, NC, where he became director of the local mental health center’s early intervention program. Almost immediately, he met the wife of the editor of the local newspaper, who suggested that one way to address the parenting needs of the community was to begin writing a newspaper column. “Um, okay,†John said, and that was that. Two years later, The Charlotte Observer persuaded John to begin writing for them and one year after that, the Observer placed the column in syndication.

John went into private practice in 1979. In 1989, his first book for Andrews McMeel, John Rosemond’s Six-Point Plan for Raising Happy, Healthy Children was published. Because it was so very different in its approach than the parenting books in the market, it attracted lots of attention and controversy. Suddenly, John was receiving invitations to speak from all over the USA and even Canada and even Europe and Australia, so he left private practice in 1990 and has been full time as a writer and speaker ever since.

After writing ten books for Andrews McMeel, John wrote his first faith-based parenting book, Parenting by The Book, which was published by Howard Books (a subsidiary of Simon and Schuster) in 2007. In less than six months, PbTB sold so well that John was lured, willingly, into a three-book deal with Thomas Nelson, the biggest Christian publisher in the world. His first book for TN, The Diseasing of America’s Children: Exposing the ADHD Fiasco and Empowering Parents to Take Back Control, written with pediatrician Dr. Bose Ravenel, was published in 2008.  The second book, The Well-Behaved Child: Discipline that Really Works! (Note to other parenting authors: The title is trademarked, so don’t even think of appropriating it!!!). John then realized that in the digital age, he could enjoy much greater creative control if he self-published, which is what he’s done with his latest, “Toilet Training Without Tantrums,†written with Diane Kottakis.

At present, John’s nationally-syndicated parenting column appears weekly in more than 200 newspapers nationwide including The Charlotte Observer, Miami Herald, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, Hartford Courant, Omaha World-Herald, Atlanta Journal-Constitution, Raleigh News and Observer, Durham Herald, and Albuquerque Journal. “All the best papers,†John remarks, noting that the way a newspaper earns the status of “best†is to run his column.

John is most definitely one of America’s most popular speakers in the parenting field. In a given year, he gives more than 150 talks to parent and professional audiences all over the map. His talks are provocative, informative, and always entertaining. John promises that his audiences will laugh…a lot.

John and Willie still live in Gastonia, in their modest Colonial saltbox. Eric and Amy are both happily married and have blessed John and Willie with seven grandchildren ranging in age from seven months to thirteen years. John and Willie both like to shop for antiques, travel, dote on their grandkids (Especially Willie, who has been named World’s Best Grandma, an award given annually by a parenting organization located in Gastonia, North Carolina, for thirteen straight years! Imagine that!), read, play with their Toy Schnauzer, Mazie (pronounced May-Z), and travel some more.

In 1992, John and Willie stumbled across a tiny little seaside cottage on a remote Bahamian island, population 50. They bought it and have spent the last sixteen years fixing it up. They now reside in the Bahamas, on their little acre of paradise, around four months a year, where John usually writes a book…or maybe not, depending on how well the fish are running.

All of his professional accomplishments aside, John is quick to remind folks that his real qualifications are that he’s been married to the same woman for forty years, is the father of two successful adults, and the grandfather of seven children…make that seven well-behaved grandchildren.

[zoobie]

He drives me nuts. One reason I'm glad we don't get the paper is that I felt compelled to read his column and I'd invariably wind up yelling at it.

 

I'm guessing the "mom" is fictional and this is BS advertising for his speaking at HS conventions.

[ChristusG]

In my opinion, he's an idiot and I usually can't stand his advice. Most of it seems intent on distancing parents/children instead of strengthening their relationship

[HS Mom in NC]

I posted my response in the comments section under the article.

[ThisIsTheDay]

I've seen John Rosemond's other responses regarding homeschooling, and I give him zero credibility.  I was shocked a few years back when one of the big VA homeschool groups hosted him (I think it was HEAV).  I can't stand the guy.  It's the same kind of advice my dad would give, and we have--well, *I* have--an agreement to not discuss homeschooling on any level with each other.

[G5052]

No way.  That schedule and approach would drive me insane apart from the issue she's writing about.

 

Mine have been on a schedule for years when there were times they could ask for help, and times I wasn't to be interrupted.  But throwing homework with young children to the end of the day with no help is nuts.

[Lisbeth]

I think it's a made-up question. The schedule does not sound real.

[Catwoman]

All of his professional accomplishments aside, John is quick to remind folks that his real qualifications are that he’s been married to the same woman for forty years, is the father of two successful adults, and the grandfather of seven children…make that seven well-behaved grandchildren.[/font][/color]

I wonder what he would have said about his children and grandchildren if they weren't "successful" and "well-behaved." :glare:

 

And am I the only one who noticed that his bio is almost as long as one of his books? No big, gigantic, can't-fit-his-head-through-the-door ego there... :rolleyes:

 

Every time I read advice from "parenting experts," I always walk away from it feeling very happy that the "experts" weren't my parents.

[MFG]

His CV and bio are a trip. What a huge pile of nothing.

[Catwoman]

His CV and bio are a trip. What a huge pile of nothing.

Well, to his credit, his unknown, hitless band did open for REO Speedwagon... on TWO OCCASIONS... back in the late 60's... before anyone had ever heard of REO Speedwagon... :svengo:

 

And that's only one of the highlights of his impressive bio. :D

[ThatHomeschoolDad]

Interesting book review here.  The guy has one wheel in the sand.

[dirty ethel rackham]

I think those of you who are going to Cincy need to attend his workshop and heckle him with your wonderful advice! The people who attend his workshop need an earful from people who are actually homeschool and actually parent children instead of someone who just gets paid to speak about it.  That is why I don't like the big conventions ... I prefer smaller, local conferences where the speakers are people who tend to be local people sharing their expertise rather than people whose profession it is to speak about homeschooling.  And I don't get why a man gets to speak about homeschooling.  If he isn't in the trenches doing it, then what kind of expert can he be? 

 

Stepping down from my soap box to have another cup of tea.

[bolt.]

Her schedule seems unreasonable -- the kids can play after school if all they need to do is keep busy and stay out of mom's hair.

 

However, my honest answer, if the timings were more reasonable:

 

"If you have instructed your children for a whole school day, and at the end they demonstrate persistent lack of understanding -- that tells you that you have not successfully taught the material to your students.

 

Either 1. your standards are too high (they have learned enough, but you imagine that they should have retained more) 2. Your curriculum sucks, or 3. You are a poor teacher for this age group -- (possibly including lacking 'classroom management' skills), 4. Your kids have special needs."

 

(More tactful phrasing for a real person, of course.)

 

Also, simple solution, just say to the kids, "Do your best sweetie. I'm only going to check to see what you remember. It's OK not to remember everything." -- Then don't "mark" the sheets, just learn from them which concepts require a re-attempt at teaching the following day.

[Tenaj]

I think those of you who are going to Cincy need to attend his workshop and heckle him with your wonderful advice! The people who attend his workshop need an earful from people who are actually homeschool and actually parent children instead of someone who just gets paid to speak about it.  That is why I don't like the big conventions ... I prefer smaller, local conferences where the speakers are people who tend to be local people sharing their expertise rather than people whose profession it is to speak about homeschooling.  And I don't get why a man gets to speak about homeschooling.  If he isn't in the trenches doing it, then what kind of expert can he be? 

 

Stepping down from my soap box to have another cup of tea.

 

He was there a few years ago and I went to one session and lasted about 10 minutes.  The session was packed and he was at a homeschool conference and one of his points (or maybe it was just my perception of what he said - LOL) was that homeschooling moms are too centered around their kids and spend too much time with them.

 

I got up and walked out because at that point I had 8 kids from high school down to newborn, was homeschooling all of them that were school-aged, and the idea that this man was standing up there telling me that I should spend less time with my kids struck me as ludicrous because I was trying to figure out how to balance my time TO spend time with each one and educate them - not spend less time with them :)

 

I cringed when I saw he was speaking at Cincy again.  I have appreciated some of his parenting columns over the years because he tends to give very practical advice in some situations but I've always gotten the feeling that he vaguely disapproves of homeschooling because of the amount of time the mom spends with the kids.

[brehon]

No, no, Bolt. I think your phrasing is fine.

 

Or is it just my overtired sarcastic döpplegänger coming through?

[katilac]

It's been years upon years since I've read him, but I remember thinking that his advice and plans didn't seem to work very well for his own son. By his own stories and examples, it was evident that his son went through years and years of negative and troublesome behavior. At a very young age, his son made remarks about stuff like being bad and not liking himself, which led Rosemond to decide he needed to be stricter, more adversarial, etc. Again, it didn't seem to actually work very well for them, but that didn't stop him from being critical and harsh with other parents. 

 

I remember that he doesn't think ADD/ADHD exists (and maybe some other dx, can't remember), and that he's very negative about psychology and counseling - even though he is a psychologist himself. I guess it's just everyone else who gets it wrong. At one point, I seem to recall he was in the news for going a bit off the rails with politics and lawsuits. 

[Alice]

I got stuck on the idea of “homework†being separate from “schoolworkâ€. It would be hard for me to respond to the original question since it seems to embrace a completely different model of homeschooling than what we use. 

[DianeW88]

Well, my answer to the mom would have been, "You're doing it wrong."  Kids that age shouldn't be spending that much time doing school.  And homeschooled kids don't have homework.  With the exception of upper grade children working on extensive projects or papers, or younger grades reading an assigned book.  Mom needs to back off, or she'll be burned out in three more months, and those kids will be going to a brick and mortar school.

[TravelingChris]

I have never liked his advice either.  He is a psychologist who doesn't like the field.  He is a big proponent of there is no ADHD and unfortunately, there are people who listen to him, don't take their kids in for treatment, and their kids suffer for that.

[Alte Veste Academy]

His bio is beyond narcissistic! I just can't believe that level of self-love. I guess an utter lack of modesty makes it is easy to dole out advice, even when you are clueless about people's actual lives. 

 

I do think a 7 and 9 year old should be able to let mom get work done for a couple of hours in the afternoon without interruption. That is what dolls, LEGO, scooters, etc. are for. 

 

I completely agree about not seeing a separation between homework and schoolwork, and I can't imagine homeschooling kids that age all day and then still having them do homework. It's overkill or a sign that she is an ineffective instructor or, most likely, the kids are just bored senseless and struggling with "all work and no play."

[mirth]

"Instead of you being in control of whether, at any given time, you are in the role of mother or teacher, you're allowing your children to make that determination.
 

Wow, who's worse?  The little rats who control you or the spineless jellyteachermom who allows it to happen?  I say just do a little less work an encourage the kids to ask all the questions they have.  I cannot imagine saying, "NO QUESTIONS after 2pm!"

 

 

[Audrey]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Rosemond

 

He's a parenting "expert" known for putting down the "experts" in favor of "good old-fashioned parenting."

 

 

Ah, well then... that quite explains his "ignore them and they will go away" approach.

 

 

ETA:  I just read the bio posted upthread.  :lol:

 

Oh, I needed a good laugh, too!

 

:lol:  :lol: :lol:  

[laughing lioness]

fwiw: I only see that he has a Master's degree. It takes a Ph.d. to designate as a "psychologist."  Just saying.

[fairfarmhand]

why should a 7 and 9 year old have more "homework" to do after spending that many hours studying already? The only way I can see more work necessary is to complete things not done earlier due to time wasting.

[TechWife]

This thread has been eye opening for me - I have some reading/investigating to do, when I get around to it. Or not.

[PeterPan]

I wonder what he would have said about his children and grandchildren if they weren't "successful" and "well-behaved." :glare:

...

Every time I read advice from "parenting experts," I always walk away from it feeling very happy that the "experts" weren't my parents.

I know, I hope I never have "well-behaved" kids!  The "well-behaved" kids I've known rebelled as adults.  ;)

 

 

I think those of you who are going to Cincy need to attend his workshop and heckle him with your wonderful advice! The people who attend his workshop need an earful from people who are actually homeschool and actually parent children instead of someone who just gets paid to speak about it.  That is why I don't like the big conventions ... I prefer smaller, local conferences where the speakers are people who tend to be local people sharing their expertise rather than people whose profession it is to speak about homeschooling.  And I don't get why a man gets to speak about homeschooling.  If he isn't in the trenches doing it, then what kind of expert can he be? 

 

Stepping down from my soap box to have another cup of tea.

Yeah, I have no clue why they'd bring in someone so apparently CLUELESS about actual homeschooling.  At least Doug Wilson (whom I'm not a fan of either, another topic) has SOME experience with education.  This guy is self-proclaimed and a writer?  Maybe they should ditch him and bring in Pioneer Woman (Lee Drummond).  She writes and she actually home schools.  She could probably give a lot more fascinating and tasty advice.  :D

 

He was there a few years ago and I went to one session and lasted about 10 minutes.  The session was packed and he was at a homeschool conference and one of his points (or maybe it was just my perception of what he said - LOL) was that homeschooling moms are too centered around their kids and spend too much time with them.

 

I got up and walked out ...

Wow, this is blowing my mind.   :svengo: 

 

It's been years upon years since I've read him, but I remember thinking that his advice and plans didn't seem to work very well for his own son. By his own stories and examples, it was evident that his son went through years and years of negative and troublesome behavior. At a very young age, his son made remarks about stuff like being bad and not liking himself, which led Rosemond to decide he needed to be stricter, more adversarial, etc. Again, it didn't seem to actually work very well for them, but that didn't stop him from being critical and harsh with other parents. 

 

I remember that he doesn't think ADD/ADHD exists (and maybe some other dx, can't remember), and that he's very negative about psychology and counseling - even though he is a psychologist himself. I guess it's just everyone else who gets it wrong. At one point, I seem to recall he was in the news for going a bit off the rails with politics and lawsuits. 

He wouldn't be the first to write a book and then not disclose that his theories didn't work out so well for one or more of the kids when the "real child" came along.  ;)  It's very common in some christian circles to be down on psychology, including "christian psychology" (Dobson, etc.) because they are weaving together secular and christian and not keeping biblical teaching pure, are tacking on manmade stuff, blah blah.  Irony is, then the so-called not gonna be a christian psychologist psychologists go making up their own extra-biblical theories to promulgate, putting themselves in the same camp.   :ack2: 

 

I don't really have the time of day for anyone who supposedly has been educated and ought to know better spouting stupidity on things "not existing".  But I guess it's easy to land there if you repeat ad nauseum the stuff we were told in the church growing up (that kids labeled adhd are just ill-parented and undisciplined and that if that pastor or whoever got a hold of them and had a chance, those kids would have NO PROBLEMS).  I guess it wouldn't hurt if we paraded our kids to the front of the hall wearing t-shirts with "I exist" on the one side and "ADHD happens" on the other.   :lol:   Whatever, it's a joke people.  I'm just saying that's all I can think of when people say that to me, that they're idiots.  They're arrogant enough to assume that they're better parents than I am and that everything is a parenting problem.  And frankly, if that's what they want to think, let them.  I'm humble enough to take it and move on.

[Lady Florida.]

He is a big proponent of there is no ADHD and unfortunately, there are people who listen to him, don't take their kids in for treatment, and their kids suffer for that.

 

 

 

 

I don't really have the time of day for anyone who supposedly has been educated and ought to know better spouting stupidity on things "not existing".   I guess it wouldn't hurt if we paraded our kids to the front of the hall wearing t-shirts with "I exist" on the one side and "ADHD happens" on the other.   :lol:   Whatever, it's a joke people.  I'm just saying that's all I can think of when people say that to me, that they're idiots.  They're arrogant enough to assume that they're better parents than I am and that everything is a parenting problem.  And frankly, if that's what they want to think, let them.  I'm humble enough to take it and move on.

 

As soon as an "expert" spouts ADHD doesn't exist, they have lost all credibility imo. To the lay people IRL who actually say that to me, I want to offer for my son to live with them for a week. It's incredibly sad when a child can get help, but because of the belief that their particular disorder 'doesn't exist', they are deprived of the help they need.

[Barbara H]

fwiw: I only see that he has a Master's degree. It takes a Ph.d. to designate as a "psychologist."  Just saying.

 

The Kentucky Board of Psychology and the Kentucky Attorney General have asked him not to identify himself as a psychologist when he dispenses advice in our state because he is not licensed.  He sued and claimed it violated his First Amendment Rights which is nonsense in my opinion. We all have the right to distribute advice, but we don't have the right to do it while claiming medical credentials we don't have.

[Joanne]

The Kentucky Board of Psychology and the Kentucky Attorney General have asked him not to identify himself as a psychologist when he dispenses advice in our state because he is not licensed.  He sued and claimed it violated his First Amendment Rights which is nonsense in my opinion. We all have the right to distribute advice, but we don't have the right to do it while claiming medical credentials we don't have.

 

 

My ethics, as a licensed professional in mental health, dictate that I be *exceedingly* clear and direct about my credentialiing and licensing. I am expected to correct any person who may think I am more credentialed than I am.

 

He does't appear to actually HAVE a license? His education is equivalent to mine.

 

I'm applying for a few Ph D. options. I should just add "psychologist" or "Doctor" to my business cards now. It will only be 4-6 years before they are accurate.