Julie in CA Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 My ds is getting married on the 20th of this month to a wonderful, sweet, kind, eager-to-please young woman. There is a bridal shower for her this Saturday, and I'm not sure what gift to give. She has registered at a couple of places, and I think people are doing well with fulfilling the items from the registry. I don't know what to give her, and I have three choices: 1.) it's a family tradition to make Dutch pancakes (basically crepes) every Saturday morning on a particular pan that is no longer made. My mil had two of them and gave me one. I found one on ebay a couple of years ago and bought it, thinking that I'd love to pass that tradition on to my children. She's been a part of that Saturday morning tradition for years now, and I'm thinking of giving her the pan that I've been saving, along with the recipe for the pancakes, along with some of the Lyle's Golden Syrup that we always use with the pancakes. I can't buy the syrup locally, so I order it online. It would not be something she'd likely order on her own because of expense. 2.) This one's tricky. Because I bake professionally, I have a large mixer that I use routinely. A couple of months ago I bought a second, smaller mixer because I thought it'd be handy to have. It would be, but the mixer is just a little too small for my purposes. So, I have this extra red Kitchenaid mixer (red is the color she's chosen for her kitchen), with an extra bowl, beater, & whisk, along with a nice Sidewinder bowl-scraper beater. It is a *MUCH* nicer gift than I could afford to buy for her, but because I already have it and don't need it, I could give it to her. Is that tacky? I don't think I'd do it at the shower, 'cause that would look...weird, to give someone a used gift. My dh doesn't like the pancake pan idea or the mixer idea, because he thinks it's odd and would look cheap. :001_rolleyes: 3.) I could scrap both of those gift ideas that might be strange, and just buy her a small gift, either from her registry, or I could just pick something I know they will want but don't yet know they need. It will need to be a small gift, because of other wedding expenses, etc. I don't really want people to think that I'm only giving her a $25 dollar gift though. I love her, and don't want people to speculate about whether she and I have a good relationship, or wonder whether I'm perhaps not happy about the marriage and am being stingy towards her. :001_unsure: So what's the best thing to do here? And yes, I do care what people think, because dil is someone who will be anxious if she hears any noise about me maybe not being happy with her, and I don't want anyone to have that impression. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 I think you could easily give the pancake pan at the shower, especially if you made a big deal out of passing the tradition along to her and her new husband (and hopefully future children). I think a mom/MIL/grandmother could get away with that sort of gift (even if it's gently used) because it's a tradition specific to your family -- sentimental is good! (I would totally not have been offended if my MIL had done that; I'd have appreciated that she was passing something down to me.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aslana Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 Why not all three? You said you had these things on hand as incidentals, they are not being used (1 and 2), so why not make it a three part gift? Maybe right up a cute story to go with #1, a recipe book (small) to go with 2, and for number three, find something small but relative to 1 and 2 off her registry. For the record, I don't care for Ms. Manners much and I would have loved such interesting gifts--even if they were second hand. As long as they are in excellent condition and not broken (that would indicate everything you said you did not want). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 I would give her the mixer, as a surprise after they are back from their honeymoon. I got such a gift from my MIL and it was so welcoming. I would purchase her a small gift from the registry for the shower. AND I WOULD NOT ASK YOU DH'S ADVICE ABOUT ANYTHING, LOL. IT IS PROBABLY NOT GOOD AND HE IS GOING TO BE DISCOURAGING TO YOU JUST BECAUSE THAT'S THE WAY HE'S BEING RIGHT NOW. Okay, I'm off my soap box. Have a great time at the shower. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StephanieF Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 If I were your dil I would love the pancake idea as that is very personal to you and shows that you have welcomed her into your family. Money doesn't come into it. Stephanie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pippen Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 I'd buy her a gift from her registry for her shower. I'd give the Dutch pancake pan to them jointly as a housewarming gift. I'd pass on the mixer as a shower gift unless you know it's something she's dying to have in that color. My in laws did pay for a washer and dryer for us as a wedding gift and we opted for a good used set coming from friends, but I'd only give something used like that as a wedding or shower gift if it was prearranged. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathryn Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 If I were your dil I would love the pancake idea as that is very personal to you and shows that you have welcomed her into your family. Money doesn't come into it. Stephanie I agree. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
history_junkie Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 I was a bride last summer. I had the most filled out registry on the planet, and I loved it when people got us that stuff. However, from my MIL, the family tradition pancake pan would have been very special. If I was the bride, that's what I would want from you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 I would go with #1. If I were the dil, that's what would mean the most to me! :) I would not do all three. That would seem excessive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 I think the pan, recipe, syrup, plus maybe a nice whisk and spatula, kitchen towel, glass batter bowl, oven mitt, cute apron... All in a pretty basket would be a very sweet, thoughtful gift. Do you have other family recipes you could write down for her in a recipe book? I saw a really cute idea to make a photo book of family recipes, but that wouldn't help you for Saturday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ann.without.an.e Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 If she likes your saturday morning tradition then the pan arranged in a nice basket with a few other things could be very sweet. You could add in a small recipe book that already contains a few of your family favorites or some small kitchen tools, etc. Could you ask about her interest in a mixer? If she seems interested then maybe bring it over as a wedding/house warming gift after they honeymoon? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 Number 1 and 2 both sound fantastic to me. I think that a small item from the registry is fine but that 1 and 2 are more of the sort of gifts that are more appropriate for a MIL to give. A small registry gift seems impersonal from a MIL IMO. The pancake pan and recipe is so personal and sweet. The mixer is something they likely can't swing on their own and it's her color- she is not going to care if it is used. With a big bow around the top, I don't think it is tacky to give your DIL a boxless gift. I would probably give #1 at the shower and then, if they are going away for even a short honeymoon, I'd see about getting a key to their place and having the red mixer set up on their kitchen counter with some fun baking supplies for when they get back. That could be their wedding present. Your husband is wrong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie in CA Posted April 4, 2013 Author Share Posted April 4, 2013 I'd pass on the mixer as a shower gift unless you know it's something she's dying to have in that color. Here's the thing: I know that she'd never ever ask for a mixer or put it on her registry, because it would be "too big a gift to ask for", but I also know for a fact that her heart would sing at having this mixer. It's exactly the size she'd ask for, and it's *exactly* the color that she'd ask for, if she were the type to ask for such a thing. Right down to it being the bright red that matches her toaster and her dishes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Giraffe Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 I would wrap up the pancake pan, recipe, and golden syrup, along with a nicely written up story of the pan and the tradition, ending with a hug and a welcome to the family. If I was your FDIL I would LOVE that. Honestly, I'd be a blubbering mess. I would put the mixer in their new house on the kitchen counter for them to find when they get back from the honeymoon (assuming you can manage to get in while they're gone). Have it sitting there with a big fat bow on it and a note that you thought she'd like it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie in CA Posted April 4, 2013 Author Share Posted April 4, 2013 Your husband is wrong. Ha! Wouldn't be the first time... :rolleyes: :p Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 I think you could easily give the pancake pan at the shower, especially if you made a big deal out of passing the tradition along to her and her new husband (and hopefully future children). I think a mom/MIL/grandmother could get away with that sort of gift (even if it's gently used) because it's a tradition specific to your family -- sentimental is good! (I would totally not have been offended if my MIL had done that; I'd have appreciated that she was passing something down to me.) I think this would be appropriate too. I'd give her the mixer at another time, just as an "I have an extra, here, have this" kind of thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpecialClassical Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 I agree that the pancake pan with some accessories would be very nice. Then you could ask your son if you could set the mixer up in their new kitchen for her to discover when they get home from the honeymoon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 Here's the thing: I know that she'd never ever ask for a mixer or put it on her registry, because it would be "too big a gift to ask for", but I also know for a fact that her heart would sing at having this mixer. It's exactly the size she'd ask for, and it's *exactly* the color that she'd ask for, if she were the type to ask for such a thing. Right down to it being the bright red that matches her toaster and her dishes. I totally think you should give it to her. My father bought us a KitchenAid Professional for our wedding and I wouldn't have cared one bit had it been used or not. Yours is like new to boot. We didn't register at all so this gift was a total surprise and a totally useful one long term. It doesn't sound to me like she is someone who will turn up her nose at a gently used gift. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bobbeym Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 I would wrap up the pancake pan, recipe, and golden syrup, along with a nicely written up story of the pan and the tradition, ending with a hug and a welcome to the family. If I was your FDIL I would LOVE that. Honestly, I'd be a blubbering mess. I would put the mixer in their new house on the kitchen counter for them to find when they get back from the honeymoon (assuming you can manage to get in while they're gone). Have it sitting there with a big fat bow on it and a note that you thought she'd like it. Giraffe said it best for me. :) This past Christmas, my mom gave my FDIL a hand-mixer/whisk thingy that FDIL loved when she'd used it at Mom's house at Thanksgiving. It was the first of things for "their future home" and the fact that it came from her future grandma made it that much more special to her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathryn Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 I, too, think you should give her the mixer--just not at the shower. I think you're a great MIL-to-be for all the thought you've put into this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sara in AZ Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 I would wrap up the pancake pan, recipe, and golden syrup, along with a nicely written up story of the pan and the tradition, ending with a hug and a welcome to the family. If I was your FDIL I would LOVE that. Honestly, I'd be a blubbering mess. I would put the mixer in their new house on the kitchen counter for them to find when they get back from the honeymoon (assuming you can manage to get in while they're gone). Have it sitting there with a big fat bow on it and a note that you thought she'd like it. This. I love thoughtful, sentimental type gifts. I think the pancake pan would be perfect. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
history_junkie Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 Here's the thing: I know that she'd never ever ask for a mixer or put it on her registry, because it would be "too big a gift to ask for", but I also know for a fact that her heart would sing at having this mixer. It's exactly the size she'd ask for, and it's *exactly* the color that she'd ask for, if she were the type to ask for such a thing. Right down to it being the bright red that matches her toaster and her dishes. I don't think you can go wrong. I had a Kitchen Aid on my registry and my MIL was actually going to buy it for us, but someone else bought it first. I'm sure that she will love it if that's what you decide to do. I personally would have loved the family tradition gift from MIL. What about saving the Kitchen Aid for Christmas? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie in CA Posted April 4, 2013 Author Share Posted April 4, 2013 I had thought that it would be a wonderful surprise to her if I set the mixer in her kitchen with a bow and a note, so she could come home to that after their honeymoon. Then I decided that it might feel intrusive to her for me to come into their apartment while she's gone. When I was a new bride, I lived in our home alone for about 6 months prior to the wedding. When dh and I came home from our honeymoon, I found that one of my SILs had come in the house and cleaned while I was gone. Right down to arranging my underwear drawer. :huh: I found out a couple of days later that she'd had some of the church ladies come help her with this "surprise" for me. :ohmy: I was mortified. I guess I'm kind of super-sensitive about that issue now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 I had thought that it would be a wonderful surprise to her if I set the mixer in her kitchen with a bow and a note, so she could come home to that after their honeymoon. Then I decided that it might feel intrusive to her for me to come into their apartment while she's gone. When I was a new bride, I lived in our home alone for about 6 months prior to the wedding. When dh and I came home from our honeymoon, I found that one of my SILs had come in the house and cleaned while I was gone. Right down to arranging my underwear drawer. :huh: I found out a couple of days later that she'd had some of the church ladies come help her with this "surprise" for me. :ohmy: I was mortified. I guess I'm kind of super-sensitive about that issue now. WOW! No, Double WOW! That is extreme.... I'd just ask your son if it would be okay to go in, and set it up. Resist doing anything else, and I'd think it'd be fine. If she knows he was in on the surprise, I doubt she'd find it intrusive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ksr5377 Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 I love the idea of the pancake pan, it's so personal and absolutely welcomes her into your family! As a PP mentioned, if you're concerned about the cost, you could add nice kitchen towels or a apron etc. to go with it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Giraffe Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 A mixer on the kitchen counter is one thing. An underwear drawer - yuck. I wouldn't mind - I'd think it was adorable. You can say something in a joking way later about it being the first and last time you go into their house without knocking or permission if it makes you feel better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 I think the pancake pan is WONDERFUL! It says more than "Have some pancakes." It says, "Welcome to the family! And while you are always welcome at my table, now you can be the main pancake-maker in my son's life!" It's a cutting of the apron strings, kwim? The mixer is a generous offer - I would just make the offer aside from the shower. Do it soon enough that if by chance she does get another mixer as a gift, she could make an exchange before using the gift. And yeah, your husband doesn't know what he is talking about. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeninok Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 I would do the pancake pan and syrup as well! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 I had thought that it would be a wonderful surprise to her if I set the mixer in her kitchen with a bow and a note, so she could come home to that after their honeymoon. Then I decided that it might feel intrusive to her for me to come into their apartment while she's gone. When I was a new bride, I lived in our home alone for about 6 months prior to the wedding. When dh and I came home from our honeymoon, I found that one of my SILs had come in the house and cleaned while I was gone. Right down to arranging my underwear drawer. :huh: I found out a couple of days later that she'd had some of the church ladies come help her with this "surprise" for me. :ohmy: I was mortified. I guess I'm kind of super-sensitive about that issue now. Holy wow. Yeah, that's creepy! Can you ask DS for permission to come drop off a few groceries and muffins the night before they arrive? So they'll have fresh juice and milk... Then put the mixer where obviously you haven't dug through anything! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Acorn Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 I love the pancake pan and recipe. One qualm that I have with the mixer would be if you would feel the need to match the level for future DILs. I would think it a beyond fantastic housewarming or wedding gift though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JFSinIL Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 Pancakes! She'll think of you every time she makes them! Fooey on your hubby. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 Another vote for the pancake pan & syrup (and recipe) at the shower. This gift says "I love you - welcome to the family" like no other gift could. Also, no one would imagine that this was the only wedding gift you are giving your son & his wife, buy it is an absolutely Perfect shower gift! Also another vote for the mixer as wedding gift idea - totally awesome idea! It's her favorite color, it's got all the bells and whistles, and it's hardly been used. My dd (who is recently married) would have been thrilled with this gift! She will love it and she will think of you every time she uses it!! Anne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 If I were your dil I would love the pancake idea as that is very personal to you and shows that you have welcomed her into your family. Money doesn't come into it. Stephanie Yes, i think this is so sweet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 I think #1 sounds like a lovely and appropriate shower gift. (keep in mind - your dh is a guy and probably doesn't go to too many bridal showers. ;p) You are enabling her to continue a family tadition. She might not do it every saturday, but she will have the equipment to make them when she would like to. you could even write up a little tidbit on the tradition as part of the gift and welcoming her to the family and how glad your are your son is marrying her. (the last part should put to rest any axiety on her part that you might not be utterly thrilled with her.) you could save #2 as a wedding gift. if you are uncomfortable giving her something used, you could always ask her if she'd like the mixer, or would prefer something new in a box. I do have a friend who gave a large cookware set as a shower gift to her dil. she also stated at the shower 'this is their wedding present' because it was an expensive set. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 I had thought that it would be a wonderful surprise to her if I set the mixer in her kitchen with a bow and a note, so she could come home to that after their honeymoon. Then I decided that it might feel intrusive to her for me to come into their apartment while she's gone. When I was a new bride, I lived in our home alone for about 6 months prior to the wedding. When dh and I came home from our honeymoon, I found that one of my SILs had come in the house and cleaned while I was gone. Right down to arranging my underwear drawer. :huh: I found out a couple of days later that she'd had some of the church ladies come help her with this "surprise" for me. :ohmy: I was mortified. I guess I'm kind of super-sensitive about that issue now. wow. I often cleaned for my mother as a surprise. it wouldn't even have occured to me to go through drawers or cupboards. (or even closets.) I wonder if your sil was doing that as an excuse to snoop and cover her tracks. I would think most of the church ladies were actually c.l.e.a.n.i.n.g. re: vaccuming, dusting, etc. not, drawer arrainging. though my mil would do that . . . . . but she loves to move things where no one would think of looking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aggieamy Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 I would wrap up the pancake pan, recipe, and golden syrup, along with a nicely written up story of the pan and the tradition, ending with a hug and a welcome to the family. If I was your FDIL I would LOVE that. Honestly, I'd be a blubbering mess. I would put the mixer in their new house on the kitchen counter for them to find when they get back from the honeymoon (assuming you can manage to get in while they're gone). Have it sitting there with a big fat bow on it and a note that you thought she'd like it. This. Exactly this. Complete with blubbering and hugs. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SebastianCat Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 I also think the pancake pan, syrup, and recipe sounds like a perfect shower gift coming from a future MIL. Holy wow. Yeah, that's creepy! Can you ask DS for permission to come drop off a few groceries and muffins the night before they arrive? So they'll have fresh juice and milk... Then put the mixer where obviously you haven't dug through anything! Love this idea. Whatever you do, clear it with your DS first. Or, just wait until they get home from the honeymoon and offer to bring them supper one night, and bring the mixer along as a surprise. I would have LOVED that as a new bride, and wouldn't have cared that it was slightly used. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unicorn. Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 I would wrap up the pancake pan, recipe, and golden syrup, along with a nicely written up story of the pan and the tradition, ending with a hug and a welcome to the family. If I was your FDIL I would LOVE that. Honestly, I'd be a blubbering mess. I would put the mixer in their new house on the kitchen counter for them to find when they get back from the honeymoon (assuming you can manage to get in while they're gone). Have it sitting there with a big fat bow on it and a note that you thought she'd like it. Holy wow. Yeah, that's creepy! Can you ask DS for permission to come drop off a few groceries and muffins the night before they arrive? So they'll have fresh juice and milk... Then put the mixer where obviously you haven't dug through anything! This and this. For the shower I would give her the pan, recipe, and syrup in a basket w/ some towels, and utensils. I like the idea of dropping off some homemade goodies and fresh food the night before, and leaving the mixer as a wedding gift! Totally NOT the same situation as yours- not creepy drawers or anything!. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pippen Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 I would wrap up the pancake pan, recipe, and golden syrup, along with a nicely written up story of the pan and the tradition, ending with a hug and a welcome to the family. If I was your FDIL I would LOVE that. Honestly, I'd be a blubbering mess. I think I'm a little hesitant about this because my husband has always given off vibes that his mom can do no wrong in the kitchen and nothing I could do could compare. This even though I was/am very competent in the kitchen. Years down the road I realized that MIL had dealt with the same thing when she married FIL. As a new bride I think I might have been sensitive about being given a family recipe that I didn't ask for, along with the pan to make it in. Hence my suggestion to give it to them jointly as a housewarming gift. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alice Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 Another vote for pancake pan for shower. It’s very sweet and personal and completely appropriate as the MIL. To me it doesn’t say cheap but it says that you consider her part of the family and are passing down important traditions through her. That is a huge gift to a new DIL. I also like the idea to either wrap up the mixer and have it waiting for them or give it to them soon after the honeymoon when they get back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kitten18 Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 I would wrap up the pancake pan, recipe, and golden syrup, along with a nicely written up story of the pan and the tradition, ending with a hug and a welcome to the family. If I was your FDIL I would LOVE that. Honestly, I'd be a blubbering mess. I would put the mixer in their new house on the kitchen counter for them to find when they get back from the honeymoon (assuming you can manage to get in while they're gone). Have it sitting there with a big fat bow on it and a note that you thought she'd like it. :iagree: Perfect. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StephanieZ Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 I love the pancake pan idea! It is so lovely! If you or dh want to add more, I'd turn it into a basket, adding a few baking related items from the registry - mixing bowls, measuring spoons, big spoons, scrapers, things like that. I love giving themed baskets (or bags) for showers, and having the special family connection to the pan makes it perfect to build a basket around the pan! IMHO, dh gets no voice in this at all. Showers are for girls and women. Men stay out of it! Gifting her the kitchen aid anytime sounds very generous and lovely. I agree to do it some time other than the shower. I'd do it ASAP so she doesn't register for one! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halftime Hope Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 I would tell ds what I was planning wrt the mixer so he'd know not to go buy one with wedding gifts. LOL! Also to get his permission/get him in cahoots on the surprise. If you thought she'd feel odd at all about your having been in the house (I wouldn't have), ds could tell her ahead of time (hours before they get back) that you had consulted with him and that he approved there being a surprise waiting when they get home. ETA: at the shower, do the pancake pan--it's a lovely idea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theYoungerMrsWarde Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 I love the family tradition as a gift! I don't think it's tacky at all. Just add a little note about the history of the tradition. And you can give her the mixer afterwards. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 My vote is #1 and #2! She'll be delighted! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
briansmama Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 I'd do #1 because it's a family tradition and has an heirloom quality (pan is no longer made, difficult to get). I'd also add something new from her registry because honestly, it is so nice to receive a set of something you really wanted and need for your home and usually it's the family members who help the most with that investment. I'd save #2 and give it to her another time. It is a used mixer, and while it would be a great hand-me-down, it isn't appropriate for her shower. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
********* Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 I was a bride last summer. I had the most filled out registry on the planet, and I loved it when people got us that stuff. However, from my MIL, the family tradition pancake pan would have been very special. If I was the bride, that's what I would want from you. I agree. And I'd give her the mixer too Julie. Just not at the shower; some other time, just because you want to. She sounds like a great gal, and she's lucky to have you for a MIL. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 I think the pancake pan wit recipe and syrup is a precious idea. You are saying what every DIL wants to hear with that. 'You are one of us." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dangermom Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 Yes, I love the pan and etc. idea. It's personal and welcoming. Honestly, as MIL you should do something more personal than buying off a registry list. It doesn't have to cost money, but it does need to be loving and individual instead of checking off a list. I love the idea of putting the mixer in the apt. with your son's collusion too. I would have been beyond thrilled to get a gently-used mixer like that! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
claire up north Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 I like the pancake pan idea, but I would include a funny note that said it wasn't necessarily for HER to use...she might just be the recipient of her husband's culinary masterpieces. You could perhaps say that you trust they will make it successfully through this first marital negotiation... :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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