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Halloween Controversy: What say the Hive?


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Here's another idea. She can go, but instead of taking candy, she should be giving something to the people handing out the candy.

 

I think it's great if she wants to join in the festivities and make it more fun for others.

 

If she just wants candy, no.

 

IMO she should be taking her little sisters around. She can charge them each a candy bar in the end. ;)

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For the last few years we've had a group of teens come by. I love them! They always have very clever costumes and are polite and having a great time. I'm glad to see them.

 

But, teens who obviously put no effort into the costumes and just want the candy seem kind of lame and pathetic to me.

 

So, it depends.

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Last year, my dd who was 15 walked with me and her brothers (13,10) but did not trick or treat. This year, I believe she is opting to stay home with me, hand out candy and watch a chick flick together. My ds14 is a little hesitant to TorT this year as he is very tall and someone called him sir last year. :lol: We have told him he can go. They all have great costumes. Our biggest annoyance with the teens is when they do not come in costume or are very impolite. We turn all of our lights off at about 8:30 and don't answer the door after that to avoid the late treaters.

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Nope. The candy is for the little ones. I think of it this way.....the teens are taking candy away from little kids when they go T&T.

 

16 is two years from being a legal adult and too old to still be treated/act as a child.

 

:iagree: with the bolded especially. :)

 

IME, teenagers usually have other things to do at halloween - tonight our youth group is having a halloween party, for example.

Also, I think other activities would be more fun than trick or treating for teenagers.

When I was handing out candy with my grandma, she didn't hesitate to tell some of them they were too old. And I don't blame her one bit - we bought candy to hand out to kids - teenagers aren't kids. :)

 

ETA: So... those of you who don't like the baby in the stroller thing... you do realize the parents AREN'T doing it to get candy, right? They just wanted to dress their kid up for halloween... I'm just saying. There seems to be some idea of underhanded motives, when most likely all they want to do is show off their cute little one dressed as a _____. :glare:

Edited by PeacefulChaos
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I have no problem giving candy to teens in costume. It's harmless fun for them.

 

I love the babies in strollers all dressed up. A couple of tootsie rolls for the parents is a small price to pay for my delight & enjoyment at the super-cuteness of their infants. What is Halloween without a baby dressed up as a pumpkin or pea pod?

Edited by LibraryLover
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Honestly, I really don't mind giving candy to anyone that comes to my door. It's a chance to be a nice neighbor.

I especially like it if a teenager has on a creative costume but I don't complain about those who don't.

I don't mind babies in costumes either!

I do have one ulterior motive - the more candy I give away, the less we have in the house afterwards! (we don't eat a lot of candy)

I still Trick or Treated in High school - often with younger siblings, or collecting change for a charity - the candy was a bonus. My favorite year was when a friend and I were Tweedle Dum & Tweedle Dee and another friend was Alice in Wonderland. I even wore that costume at school all day long.

ETA - I'd let her go and have fun.

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At 16, I would let her make her own decision, as silly as it seems to you.

 

In general, as my 17 year old dd has gotten older, I have gradually distanced myself from making her choices for her when health and safety are not involved, in order to prepare her for a time when she will not have me making these decisions. Trick or treating would fall under this category for me.

 

:iagree:

 

I'm with your daughter. I'd let her go. I also hate the phrase "begging for candy." It has nothing to do with "begging." It's a fun tradition and the people who decorate their houses, leave their porch lights on and hand out candy do it because they want to and enjoy doing it, not because they are being "begged."

 

Let your daughter have fun. She'll outgrow it on her own before you know it!

 

:iagree:

 

teenagers aren't kids. :)

 

ETA: So... those of you who don't like the baby in the stroller thing... you do realize the parents AREN'T doing it to get candy, right? They just wanted to dress their kid up for halloween... I'm just saying. There seems to be some idea of underhanded motives, when most likely all they want to do is show off their cute little one dressed as a _____. :glare:

 

Well, I disagree strongly that teenagers aren't kids. As I tell my kids, if they live to be 100, they have 82 years to be an adult and a mere 18 to be a kid, so soak up every second and don't grow up too fast. Now, my teens may have a job at 16, a driver's license, and a car, responsibilities... I expect them to be gaining maturity left and right. But, in my opinion, they still deserve some privileges of childhood and Halloween is one of those.

 

As to the babies, I love, love, love seeing adorable babies in costumes. But, yeah, don't hold out the "baby's" bag and say "trick or treat" if you are only in it to show off the costume. Not that I care. I happily give candy to one and all. :tongue_smilie:

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I have no problem giving candy to anyone who dresses up. I do prefer that the teens wait until a bit later, so they aren't getting all the good stuff before the littles, but honestly, I don't really care.

 

I don't think there is an arbitrary age at which kids outgrow Halloween. Let them live life and enjoy the night (at least they aren't stuck in front of a computer or TV).

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My SIL did Halloween every year till she had to miss it due to a university exam.

 

She put a lot of work into the costume(s)

 

One year she got her family to dress up with her as the Ghost Busters. They even had the same car as the one in the movie and her Dad drove around town slowly well they tricker treated beside the car. And yes they did get lots of candy.

 

One year she and my brother dressed up as Mr. and Mrs. Santa Claus and drove around town in a Model T Ford. They did not get any candy that year since they couldn't get near houses since the kids would swarm them asking for Candy. So they had to give away everything they got. - and even stop at a store to buy some.

Kid: What are you doing here Santa

MyBrother: Ho, Ho, Ho, just fatting up for Christmas

 

I say if you want to do Halloween. You should regardless of age. It's the spirt of Halloween that matters. Mind you I think it would be cute and funny to have the senior citizens from the old age home down the street knocking on my door.

 

My brother and I use to do Halloween as teens. But what we ended up doing (him more so then me) was pull together a costume of some sort.

ie. (Duct tape tennis racket cases to arms. Put on gas mask with pool hose attached. Wrap body in tinfoil) then go to several neighborhood houses of friends. Go home. Come up with a different costume, then go back to friends houses. And by friends I just mean the neighborhood people we knew such as the nice old couple next door.

 

The costumes would be put together quickly. But they were um, ... creative, and definitively more than throwing on a mask.

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By herself, no.

 

With a group of teens, or with younger siblings, sure.

 

We have a couple groups of teens that come through our neighborhood after the littles are done. They are always polite and have creative costumes. And I can give them all the candy with peanuts after we sort the candy. Most people in our neighborhood who are out of candy or don't want the bigger kids to come just turn off their porch lights at 8:30.

 

Cat

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In our area, trick or treating ends at 13. A lot of elderly persons complained about teens coming to the door and being rude. Also, with money tight in this region, the candy runs out quickly for the younger ones if there are a lot of teens toting. So, though our township never actually set guidelines, they opted to announce that families were asked to observe the town ordinance for the nearest village - cut off of 13.

 

Now, there are teens who are chaperones for their sibs and sometimes they do dress up. They just step away from the porch/curb/front door while the littles are getting their candy. I think some people choose to give candy to the teens who are polite and of course, acting responsibly by chaperoning younger children. But, not everyone does this and they definitely do not carry a bag of their own with them.

 

Since we do not observe the holiday, I can not say if many older teens try to pass for 12. I do know that I've not heard anymore complaints at township meetings since it was announced that we would follow the guidelines of the village six miles north of here (different township).

 

So I think that I would reiterate my family values and the choices dh and I have made for our family and then if necessary, take a look at the village ordinances. It's easy for a teen to try to wear down mom and dad on a personal value, but not so easy to make demands when there is a law/ordinance in place that backs mom and dad.

 

Faith

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About the babies in the strollers, isn't that more a way of introducing the baby to the neighbors? My neighbors love to see my girls each year, and vice versa. They complain if we don't stop by. I'm talking about the older folks who don't have youngsters and rarely interact with my kids the rest of the year.

 

The first year, I dressed them up, put them in the stroller, and got all the way to the end of the driveway. It was cold/drizzling and my youngest was just not happy, so we turned around and went back. I guess some of my neighbors would be relieved? :glare:

 

I have no interest in candy. I don't even eat chocolate. I wish people would give out stickers or fruit or something other than candy. But it's one day a year. People who hate babies that much can leave their lights off.

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My dd16 wants to trick or treat tonight. I say no way. 16 is too old to go knocking on doors begging for candy. I told her if she wants to put on some homemade costume and walk around with us while her little sisters trick or treat, that's fine. But she's not carrying a pillowcase and begging for Twix bars.

 

She says she should be able to if she wants. She says she'll be wearing a costume, no one knows how old she is, and as long as she's comfortable with it then I should be, too.

 

What do you think?

 

No. Too old. The only way she can get away with this is if she accompanied youngers. I would say no.

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I say let her take the younger sisters and you can stay home. She can dress up and trick or treat with them. I think 16 is too old BUT she may just need that last little fling of childhood. 16 can be a rough age- and if a night of trick or treating is fun to her, it's not the end of the world.

 

When we were kids, Halloween was a kid holiday- my parents never went to Halloween parties or dressed up (I'm 51, btw). But now it's quite the adult holiday- costumes, parties, etc. Maybe dd just wants to enjoy the fun.

 

:iagree:

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I'm totally fine with teen trick or treaters as long as they're dressed up. We had a group of boys come by last year in street clothes and when I asked them where there costumes were, they told me they were the Backstreet Boys. I told them they had to perform if they wanted candy, and they did. It was so much fun! I absolutely love it when teens dress up. I see it as them getting to hold onto their childhood for just one more year. Also, we're on a VERY halloween friendly street. We probably get between 500 and 700 people every year (maybe more). The more the merrier!

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NO! That's why I stopped giving out candy several years ago - TOO MANY TEENAGERS! We have had HUNDREDS of kids come to our door in a single Halloween (neighbor used a counter). If your teenager wants candy, buy it for her. My teens always knew that it's NOT age appropriate for teenagers to trick-or-treat! My high school teen will be hanging out tonight with friends but NOT trick-or-treating.

 

Why? Not being snarky - I'm genuinely curious why it is inappropriate for teens to trick or treat. I'm talking about teens who dress up in a real costume that they put some effort into, not people who just walk around in regular clothes trying to mooch candy.

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:iagree: as long as they're dressed up, I give candy out. I'm usually pretty good about giving out a lot per kid because we don't get many kids coming by, but if they're not dressed up, they get 1 piece of the cheap stuff.

 

I do this, too! Homemade costumes get a handful of candy (all ages), store bought gets 2 pieces (standard allotment), not dressed up (teens only)gets a tootsie roll.

Edited by Shannon831
Edited for clarity, for the easily offended
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Last year my older dd went at age 16.

 

This year older dd already announced that she isn't going. She made the announcement at the neighborhood Halloween parade. Several neighbors were disappointed, and told her she should go. It's apparently become a neighborhood tradition.

 

My kids dress up and put on a song and dance at every house. They don't even care that much about the candy itself (other than pointing out to their friends that you can get several more pounds if you put more effort into the occasion). They LOVE figuring out costumes, figuring out a routine that can be performed on porches of various sizes with a door possibly being held open, figuring out what their "audience" will appreciate the most.

 

 

(Younger dd is having a theater friend over, and they've got their routine worked out -- have been working on it for weeks. I'm taking a break from finishing up costumes right now.)

 

BTW, I have a special bowl of Goldfish crackers, Teddy Grahams, packages of crayons, etc., for the toddlers/babies. We used to live where it was a tradition to hand the Dad a beer while he was taking the kids around. ALL AGES WELCOMED HERE AS LONG AS YOU PUT IN EFFORT!

Edited by GailV
Wow, THAT was an embarrassing spelling error!
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We are RURAL-- no one is going to walk 1/4 mile + up my dark drive after seeing the huge BEWARE OF DOG sign!

 

Our community has adapted-- 'town' is a tourist trap (locals usually avoid this area)... there are 50-100 little shops that will close at 4:30 today to formal business. We 'Trick Or Treat' the shops! Anyone of ANY age is welcome-- you get candy if you are in costume.

 

This way the shop owners get the locals to see what is inside.

 

My older dd22 is coming over tonight to take her little sister dd10 out on the town... she will be dressed up (and will probably bring her bearded dragon --also dressed up--poor guy)... both will get candy and have a wonderful time!

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Homemade costumes get a handful of candy (all ages), store bought gets 2 pieces, not dressed up gets a tootsie roll.

 

Um ... wow.

 

Every other year my kids get to choose an elaborate costume that Dad makes for them. One year my dd was a hydra, complete with six home-created wire-and-tubing heads. This year my son was Bumblebee, complete with movable door "wings" and reflective headlights.

 

On the off year, the other kid knows that their costume will be fairly unelaborate, and they are ok with that. One year, when my husband created some giant, elaborate costume for my son, my dd fell in love with an "Indian" dress at the thrift store. She wanted to use her own money to buy it, and she went as Kaya, the American Girl.

 

Makes me really sad, and a bit peevish, that you would punish my daughter for having a store-bought costume when it was very meaningful to her and she was VERY proud of the fact that she bought it herself. Or that the year my son went as store-bought Captain Rex, and was thrilled with it because he was in a Star Wars phase, that his sister would get more candy because Dad spent weeks creating her hydra costume.

 

What about the family whose member is facing a serious illness and they didn't have the time/emotional energy to create a costume? Or the family who is down on their luck this year and received the older cousins' old (store-bought) costumes and were very grateful for them? Or the kid who just begged his parents for the store-bought costume because THAT ONE was perfect (in his mind)?

 

Tara

Edited by TaraTheLiberator
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At 16, I would let her make her own decision, as silly as it seems to you.

 

In general, as my 17 year old dd has gotten older, I have gradually distanced myself from making her choices for her when health and safety are not involved, in order to prepare her for a time when she will not have me making these decisions. Trick or treating would fall under this category for me.

 

I'm with this one. She's old enough to decide for herself. If she gets funny looks from anyone opening the door, she'll have to deal with her herself. It's her decision to take that risk.

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I'm so glad that my parents actually let me be a kid during my teen years instead of forcing me to grow up. They let me dress up and trick or treat and didn't set an age limit. I'll do the same for my children. Kids have to grow up too quickly these days anyways.....I say let them have a few more years of childhood and dress up and get some candy. It doesn't hurt anyone.

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I'd rather give candy to a dressed up teenager than to a dressed up infant in a stroller and I know the parents are going to eat it.

 

Ha! Me too! I don't know why but the baby thing bothers me, esp when the kid is obviously only a month or two old.

 

I once had BOTH parents (not dressed up btw) hold up pillowcases!

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I do this, too! Homemade costumes get a handful of candy (all ages), store bought gets 2 pieces, not dressed up gets a tootsie roll.

 

Although I think this is discriminatory against kids with working moms (esp. working single moms), :glare:, I wish everyone would give my store-bought-costumed kids less candy. We donate most of it anyway.

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If a 16 year old is dressed up and has good manners, why not? Halloween is for kids, and 16 is still a kid. I didn't go as a teenager, but I don't see why it would be an issue unless they're rude.

 

And I didn't take my daughter trick-or-treating as an infant, I could just spend 5 bucks myself if I wanted candy. I started taking her at 2, when she could actually have the candy, rationed though it was.

 

eta: I don't get giving kids with a store-bought costume less candy. Some parents don't sew well (like me), don't have time to sew (like many full-time workers), or have kids who are too young to make their own costumes. Do you give a 4 year old less candy because he has a store-bought costume? Why punish a child because his/her parents can't make a costume?

Edited by Galatea
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