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Halloween Controversy: What say the Hive?


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My dd16 wants to trick or treat tonight. I say no way. 16 is too old to go knocking on doors begging for candy. I told her if she wants to put on some homemade costume and walk around with us while her little sisters trick or treat, that's fine. But she's not carrying a pillowcase and begging for Twix bars.

 

She says she should be able to if she wants. She says she'll be wearing a costume, no one knows how old she is, and as long as she's comfortable with it then I should be, too.

 

What do you think?

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I say let her take the younger sisters and you can stay home. She can dress up and trick or treat with them. I think 16 is too old BUT she may just need that last little fling of childhood. 16 can be a rough age- and if a night of trick or treating is fun to her, it's not the end of the world.

 

When we were kids, Halloween was a kid holiday- my parents never went to Halloween parties or dressed up (I'm 51, btw). But now it's quite the adult holiday- costumes, parties, etc. Maybe dd just wants to enjoy the fun.

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I'd let her go. I went at 16 with a group of friends. We were all dressed up and we sang a ToT song we made up with guitar accompaniment. It was the last year I went myself and I loved the experience. She has her whole life to be a grown up. (I'm feeling blue and nostalgic today. Please take that into consideration.)

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I say let her be a kid. Everyone over buys with the Halloween candy. She's saving folks like me from eating the surplus. She's not taking candy from little children. Teens love candy! I say let her enjoy her last two years of not being an adult.

 

Around here, it's normal to see a group of teens out trick or treating with their friends. Usually, it's a group of girls. I think they're sweet. As long as they're in costume, I'm happy to give them candy.

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At 16, I would let her make her own decision, as silly as it seems to you.

 

In general, as my 17 year old dd has gotten older, I have gradually distanced myself from making her choices for her when health and safety are not involved, in order to prepare her for a time when she will not have me making these decisions. Trick or treating would fall under this category for me.

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I'd rather give candy to a dressed up teenager than to a dressed up infant in a stroller and I know the parents are going to eat it.

 

:iagree: I say "little ones" don't need more candy. The less everyone has, the better. Spread the joy! :D I happily give dressed up teens with good attitudes candy.

 

Last year we had a young mom with a little one (less than one) and the mom had her own bucket too? Like she wasn't going to eat the baby's candy? LOL - nice scam.

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I don't mind high schoolers trick or treating. I let mine go but they usually bring their younger brother and friends. This will be the first year neither of my older boys are going. My youngest son who is (12) is going with his friends around our neighborhood.

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I don't mind the teens who are actually dressed up and enjoying the event. I don't like the teens that are out simply to be mischievous and cause trouble, had those as a kid. Actually, kids grow at such different rates it's hard to gauge age. I'm not carding anyone that comes to my door though.

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I'd let her go. I went at 16 with a group of friends. We were all dressed up and we sang a ToT song we made up with guitar accompaniment. It was the last year I went myself and I loved the experience. She has her whole life to be a grown up. (I'm feeling blue and nostalgic today. Please take that into consideration.)

 

:iagree:

 

And a :grouphug: for you, Kalah.

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As long as she is dressed in a real costume she is welcome to it.

 

I will say it really irks me when teens show up in regular clothes and say they are 'serial killers - they look like everyone else' or some other stupid thing. But if you are dressing up, hey, have a Twix bar!

 

We TorT'ed all the way through high school because we dressed up for Senior year. So you spent all of high school planning your senior year costume/theme. When you work hard on costumes, you want people to see them!

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I say let her be a kid. Everyone over buys with the Halloween candy. She's saving folks like me from eating the surplus. She's not taking candy from little children. Teens love candy! I say let her enjoy her last two years of not being an adult.

 

Around here, it's normal to see a group of teens out trick or treating with their friends. Usually, it's a group of girls. I think they're sweet. As long as they're in costume, I'm happy to give them candy.

 

I agree.

 

We are not big into Halloween here. My kids have never done ToT (my girls grew up overseas where there isn't ToT) but I always have candy for the kids who come, just to be neighborly.

 

I did ToT when I was in high school, probably up through my junior year. It was common for high school kids to go out then and it's common to see high school kids at my door. As long as these kids are partaking in the spirit of the holiday by coming in costume and are polite when they come to the door, I see no problem with a high school student going out Trick or Treating.

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My 16 year old is going trick or treating tonight. He has been planning his costume for months and already has it put together for tonight. No one around here seems to mind the age of the trick or treater as long as they are in costume and respectful. My teens will escort my younger kids in one neighborhood that does not have sidewalks but after that they will split off with my husband and I taking the younger two and the teens meeting up with friends. There are many events in our town tonight that are specifically for 12 and under- church parties, trick or treat street, downtown trick or treating in the afternoon, etc. but trick or treating is for all ages in costume.

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Let 'em go.

 

My teens (one is 18 - gasp!) is TorTing tonight with other teens from church and little siblings. They designed and made their own costumes, including a trip to the thrift store on Saturday and digging out long-abandoned paints and other craft supplies.

 

None of the costumes are scary and they are great at including the little kids in their fun. Last year they all went as the characters from Clue! game. This year it's a mix of Avengers, a Christmas tree, and some sort of robot from Minecraft.

 

I'll have five gallons of cider ready for neighbors and two chilis (one red, one white) in crock pots.

 

For us, it's a fun teenaged open-house (and open neighborhood). And, the kids gathering at our house are just some of the teens that will be out tonight.

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I think it's OK with a few caveats:

 

NOOOOO trick or treating after 8:00. Older kids need to know when the fun is over even if it isn't their bedtime yet.

 

No large groups of teens. Frankly, I get intimidated when I open the door to a bunch of teens (just being honest and speaking only for myself).

 

Be polite rather than demanding (which I'm sure your dd would be). While the night is a candy grab, please try to pretend that you want to say hi and are not just enduring my presence to get a treat.

 

And I'll echo the need for a real costume.

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Wow! Nice thoughts, here.

 

My teen daughter needs to thank you. I believe I have been swayed, primarily because of this:

 

At 16, I would let her make her own decision, as silly as it seems to you.

 

In general, as my 17 year old dd has gotten older, I have gradually distanced myself from making her choices for her when health and safety are not involved, in order to prepare her for a time when she will not have me making these decisions. Trick or treating would fall under this category for me.

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If she wants to dress up and come to my house, I'll happily give her a treat! I don't like the "not in costume with a pillowcase" teenagers-but teens who are in it and enjoying it are welcome. And I make sure I always have chocolate for the moms who are carrying around a sleeping dressed up baby. I know good and well that the 6 month old isn't going to eat that candy :).

 

 

One of my friends posted on facebook that her Autistic son, who is in his 20s, will be trick or treating with his daytime caregiver. He still loves the dressing up and going out, and it's good practice on social skills that he needs. So she's trying to put together a list of friendly folks who he can trick or treat and have a good response. I would imagine he's not the only special needs adult child who still looks forward to this ritual each year.

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She says she should be able to if she wants. She says she'll be wearing a costume, no one knows how old she is, and as long as she's comfortable with it then I should be, too.

 

What do you think?

 

I'm with your daughter. I'd let her go. I also hate the phrase "begging for candy." It has nothing to do with "begging." It's a fun tradition and the people who decorate their houses, leave their porch lights on and hand out candy do it because they want to and enjoy doing it, not because they are being "begged."

 

Let your daughter have fun. She'll outgrow it on her own before you know it!

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NO! That's why I stopped giving out candy several years ago - TOO MANY TEENAGERS! We have had HUNDREDS of kids come to our door in a single Halloween (neighbor used a counter). If your teenager wants candy, buy it for her. My teens always knew that it's NOT age appropriate for teenagers to trick-or-treat! My high school teen will be hanging out tonight with friends but NOT trick-or-treating.

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DD 17 went this year. I did tell her this is the last year for her, though. She will be 18 next time. She watches her brother, who has autism, and her sister. I told her that she can still dress up next year and that I will buy candy just for her!

 

We have plenty of older kids come to our door . . . and plenty of adults with babies in strollers who come to trick or treat on behalf of the baby . . . I doubt very much those babies will be eating candy! :D

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Wow! Nice thoughts, here.

 

My teen daughter needs to thank you. I believe I have been swayed, primarily because of this:

 

Yes, that is my position, too. I let them make up their minds, but I really disapprove of teens going around getting candy. Probably because my MOTHER really disapproved of teens going around to get candy, I assume everyone else does as well and that they are imposing on people. But I've shared that with them and the mom of the friends who invite them every year is a really lovely person, so I guess there are other ways to look at it.

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