Do you look forward to your children moving out?

[Prairie~Phlox]

I have to admit that my husband and I do and we joke about it with them as well, though it will be just a little while, youngest is going to be 11, but I'm just wondering if we are the only ones? That's what we're raising them for anyway!

[Melinda in VT]

I think life after the kids move out will be great! But so is life with kids at home. :-)

 

I don't dread them moving out, but I'm not counting down the days, either.

[fairfarmhand]

yes. Some days I look forward to it more than others.

[*Michelle*]

Sure! Not because they're so horrible to have around now, but because that is the next stage of their lives. I hope that we can prepare them for a successful transition.

 

And I look forward to the quiet and the clean house! ;)

[raceNzanesmom]

Looking forward to it? No. I'll miss him. We have a great relationship and I enjoy spending time with him. However, I trust he's been trained up properly, so I'm fine with it when the time comes. I just wouldn't say I'm looking forward it. The youngest just turned 8, so it'll be a while for him.

[Tess in the Burbs]

well, if they both leave there are more chores for me to do :tongue_smilie:

 

if they leave I could cook less :001_huh:

 

Dh and I would like more time just us on the weekends though....

 

And if dd stayed but ds left we could eat peanut butter again. :lol:

[bettyandbob]

I wish I could. I have one ds who will never leave home and may need enough supervision that we could never go out on a date either. I do hope one day he will be able to have some unsupervised time.

 

I'm disappointed dh and I will never get to that stage. I have teens who will leave home over the next few years. I expect that in 10 years they will be out for good -- no more coming back for college breaks or starting first career or returning for a grad degree. But ds will be with us.

 

I do look forward to seeing my other kids move out and seeing the cool things they do with their lives. That will be fun.

 

Some people think they do not want an "empty nest". I don't think they really understand that by not having that you will not be seeing natural stages of development in your young adult children. I cannot believe anyone wants to wish for that.

[FaithManor]

Hmmm...We have a great relationship with the kids so I think I'll have to adjust to the quiet and what not. I'll definitely miss them for a while.

 

That said, I'm looking forward to the new us. Less cooking, simpler cooking and not these completely hollow people who drain the food budget :lol:! Less laundry, being able to keep the house cleaner/neater (it's an "er" people! As long as dh lives here, there will be a lot of projects out.)

 

I hope to travel some with dh too! Now of course, dd keeps hinting that I should homeschool her hypothetical children through 3rd grade and then she'd take them back home once they can read and start multiplication. :glare:

Sure dd, you keep livin' that dream. Your mother might just be worn out by then!

 

Faith

[Night Elf]

I don't as far as counting the days to some definitive date, i.e. moving out the day after high school graduation. My children will always be welcome to stay with us as it's appropriate. Dd19 (20 in a week) still lives with us because there is no way she can support herself at this time. She isn't a problem so I see no need to push her out of the nest. Although she isn't sure what she wants to do and is trying to figure out the next step, she is an independent sort and is looking forward to getting her own place. Remaining here has allowed her to save up some money which she wouldn't have been able to do living paycheck to paycheck and maybe not even making it then.

 

I have no specific dreams or desires to achieve after the kids are all adults. My life will remain the same as it is now except I won't be so involved in the daily workings of my children's lives.

 

Our house has always been a joyful one, full of life. I expect life without the kids will be quiet and routine. I look forward to grandchildren, if I'm so blessed, and am really hoping they live near enough that I can be a great part of their lives.

[G5052]

Maybe because high school requires much deeper homeschooling that takes all day even with some outsourcing, I'm looking forward to them graduating from high school as my first step towards that goal. They'll probably go to local colleges, so the transition will be more gradual. Right now I can't imagine what it will be like to have them in and out, sometimes not around for meals. And then gone entirely, wow!

[kalanamak]

Only in that I feel slightly anxious about living long enough. My own death barely crossed my mind until I was 50, but then people started dropping dead around me, and while death is a shock before 50, it has to be considered a possibility after. Both my husband and I have siblings who died in their 50s. I will be relieved when he is on his feet.

[mama2cntrykids]

I can't say I'm looking forward to it, no. I really don't give it much thought. My step son will be graduating from ps hs next year, so he'll be gone soon (which might be a good idea in his case). But my other kids? Maybe I don't think about it b/c they're still pretty young (11, 9, almost 6 and 11 months).

 

I do have concerns about my 9 yr. old once he's old enough to move out. I think he'll take a lot more guiding than my other kids. He's also my "challenge", so yeah, it's interesting lol.

[edelweiss]

Only in that I feel slightly anxious about living long enough. My own death barely crossed my mind until I was 50, but then people started dropping dead around me, and while death is a shock before 50, it has to be considered a possibility after. Both my husband and I have siblings who died in their 50s. I will be relieved when he is on his feet.

 

I feel similarly. I adore my children and love having them around. In that way, I'm in no rush to have them go anywhere. However, I do worry that DH or I might not live to see them grown (we are in our mid-40s) and that breaks my heart to think about. I really don't want my children to experience that in their childhood. So, I am actually somewhat anxious to see them graduate high school and off to college. If we make it to that milestone, I will be soooo relieved.

[Greta]

I dread it. :crying: I'm going to miss her so much. Of course, I want her to experience and enjoy each phase of her life to the fullest, so I will TRY not to make it all about "poor me" when the time comes! :lol: But it will be a very bittersweet day for me, heavy on the bitter.

[Ellie]

I can't say I was looking forward to it, but I was ready for it. That's what parents do: rear their children and try to prepare them to be the best adults they can be, to become productive, happy adults, making their way in the world, right?

 

Mr. Ellie had a harder time than I did, bless his heart. :)

[Farrar]

They're too young for it now, but I know I will eventually, at least in part, because I know myself. And dh and I already marvel that we'll be relatively young when the kids are old enough to fly the nest. Of course, the way families and the economy is now... who knows when that will be.

[angela in ohio]

I wake up in the middle of the night covered in sweat, clammy, and crying at the thought. So... no. :lol: Then I wake dh up and start going on and on about how we'll never be this family again, just all of us living here together, and things are going to change, and we won't ever be able to go back. Yeah, he loves those nights. :D

 

(And a little part of me is thinking about all the chores I'll have to do again, as a pp said. ;))

 

Dh and I have a great time together, and we are already starting to transition to spending more time alone together as they get older, so that will be really nice. We married young and had dc right away, so it will be nice to have more time together. And I know we will be close with our dc still. But I want to give them a very healthy boot out of the nest, so that they can form their own healthy marriages (God willing!) and have their own lives. It's going to be really, really, really hard for me, though.

Edited May 16, 2012 by angela in ohio

[LeslieAnneLevine]

NO!!

[dirty ethel rackham]

While I have been pushing and prodding to make sure that my children will be ready to be independent adults some day, I do dread the day when they leave home. My oldest will be leaving for college in the fall and I consciously avoid any emotional discussions of him leaving because I am not ready to deal with it on that level. (Though I have to admit that the passing of Maurice Sendak forced me to acknowledge that this is really happening.) I will have the happy face when we drop him off and will be a sloppy, sobbing mess on the way home.

[mommymilkies]

Not at all. In fact, I joke with dh that we'll have to adopt within a year of the kids moving out. :lol:

[Tap]

We had our first child at 22, so I don't really remember what it is like to not have kids....and be an adult.

 

Ds17 isn't around much, but still lives here. He plans to continue living here for a couple more years, while in college.

 

DD13 is a free spirit. Right now she is happy to be home, but I think she will be off traveling as soon as she can.

 

DD5....why oh why did we start over?

 

:lol: It will be a mighty long time before we have an empty nest!

[momma2three]

Let's just say that if there were a boarding school for 3 year olds, I'd have the application packet in hand.

 

But that's probably not really what you're talking about.

[Desert Rat]

Their stuff? Yes. The boys? Not really. There are certain aspects I will enjoy, as I'm enjoying the freedoms that older kids bring. But, I never think, "I'll do this when my kids are gone" or "I can't wait to have xyz when the kids are gone."

[Jean in Newcastle]

Nope. I'm not dreading it either. But I am enjoying the stage of life that I'm living in right now.

[LucyStoner]

With a 3 year old and nearly 9 year old, we have awhile before they will be out on their own. We had our oldest when we were very young (23 and 24) and he was unplanned. While we are very happy to be parents, we do relish the prospect of getting to do some more travel and just living by ourselves while we will still be pretty young (mid forties when youngest graduates.)

[Hoggirl]

Nope. I'm not dreading it either. But I am enjoying the stage of life that I'm living in right now.

 

This is how it should be.

 

I have no idea how I will react when my one and only ds leaves. I have not experienced that, so i just can't say. I try not to be judgmental, but, honestly, there are so many people around me whose children are graduating (or even graduated years ago) who act as though they are in a state of mourning! I do NOT want to be like that and take away from my ds's joy. Overdoing all the moping seems somewhat selfish to me. If I DO feel that way, I am going to TRY to hide it. I have one friend who just will not stop crying. :001_huh:

[Denisemomof4]

Two of them can live here forever. Two will need to be out asap after their 18th bday.

 

Neither of them know who is welcome to stay and who is not, but I will not tolerate difficult, behavior challenged adults living in the home a day longer than I have to.

 

How is that for transparency?

 

I am nit happy about it but it is what it is.

[Harriet Vane]

Yes and no.

 

On the one hand, I enjoy my kids so much that I know I will miss them terribly when they move out. Our time together feels too short, and is very, very precious to me.

 

On the other hand, dh and I like to think of the freedom we'll have and the things we'd like to do together once there is more time and money.

[emzhengjiu]

No. I enjoy my daughters and will miss them terribly. I'm one that thinks multi-generational living is a great idea.

 

ETA: I am looking forward to watching my girls grow into awesome adults.

[PinkInTheBlue]

I think life after the kids move out will be great! But so is life with kids at home. :-)

 

I don't dread them moving out, but I'm not counting down the days, either.

 

:iagree: Perfect answer of what I would say.

[elegantlion]

Part of me is excited to see him start his life outside the house. I know to really have a life he'll have to move out of this town. I will smile between gritted teeth and wave and hug as he drives away. Then I will hide in the bedroom and cry for about three days. Dh may want a travel trailer to follow him, he's not quite accepting ds is growing up so quickly.

 

After he is done with high school I'm turning the classroom into my own writing retreat. It's going to be great. So even if he's at home for college I will have my own space.

[Kelly1730]

We have three who have already moved out, one will be soon and then we have our two "bonus babies" who will be with us for quite some time yet:) I often think how boring our lives would be without them.

 

We actually bought a larger home when three of our 6 had already moved out. That's because two of them got married and had children and when everyone comes home, we needed more space! With 5 grandchildren already, and 4 more of our children to marry and have families of their own, I don't think dh and I will every really experience an empty nest;)

[Aelwydd]

No, and we don't plan on kicking our ds out either. I wrote about this not too ago on the difference between how wealthy families view their grown children, versus working class. I'm convinced that one of the reasons for why wealthy families tend to retain their wealth and pass it on, is that they don't kick their young adults out of the nest and expect them to be self-sufficient.

 

We want ds to do better than either of us, and we don't want him incurring debt in order to survive. Therefore, what we resources have accumulated, are his by extension. We enjoy spending time with our ds, it is no chore to be around him.

Edited May 17, 2012 by Aelwydd

[Lolly]

Actually, no. when they were younger, yes. Now that they are pretty much all adults, and are all self sufficient-definitely not! They are really nice to have around. They are wonderful help to have. They are marvelous company. I'm past the stage of pushing and prodding. Not that I couldn't do it sometimes, but I WON'T do it anymore. I used to want more time with dh. At their ages now, I have that time. Mine can all stay as long as they want.

[Prairie~Phlox]

No, and we don't plan on kicking our ds out either. I wrote about this not too ago on the difference between how wealthy families view their grown children, versus working class. I'm convinced that one of the reasons for why wealthy families tend to retain their wealth and pass it on, is that they don't kick their young adults out of the next and expect them to be self-sufficient.

 

We want ds to do better than either of us, and we don't want him incurring debt in order to survive. Therefore, what we resources have accumulated, are his by extension. We enjoy spending time with our ds, it is no chore to be around him.

I love my children too and don't find it to be a "chore" around them. They are a great help and have responsibilities, however when they go to my parents there is less to cook and clean and so I'm not concerned with my workload when they are gone.

[TravelingChris]

This fall, I was down to one at home. I liked that better. Then my son returned home after not finding a job and then middle came home from college, sick. Now my son is moving into an apartment tomorrow so I will be left with two. We go to Mayo Clinic next week, and hopefully, sick daughter will be diagnosed and back to college in AUgust. Yes, I do really look forward to all of them being grown and independent. So do they.

 

As Margaret in Co said, you are never not a parent but I would like some more peace in the house.

[Aelwydd]

I love my children too and don't find it to be a "chore" around them. They are a great help and have responsibilities, however when they go to my parents there is less to cook and clean and so I'm not concerned with my workload when they are gone.

 

My post isn't a judgment on you or other folks here. You happen have three kids, and I have just one. If I had a lot more cooking and cleaning to do, I might feel very differently about young adults living at home. I would think that it's a lot easier to accommodate an only child this way than if I had more than one. I think that unless I had a large home or multiple dwellings, it would be difficult to have kids living at home well into their twenties.

[*********]

Well no, I'm not.

 

Dh and I are totally fine with the boys living with us until they're married, and even after (if we happen to have an appropriate living situation for that at the time). I think multi-generational living is fantastic.

 

Dsd is going off to college in a few months. She doesn't share our values/worldview, so it's harder to say that she'd 'always be welcome'. Of course, we wouldn't let her be homeless, but it's complicated. Even so, I'm already missing her. I love her very much, and will miss her regularly being in my home.

 

For my boys though, I just want them to do whatever the Lord calls them to do with their lives. If that's to move to a third world country and share the message of Christ, then great! If that's to stay at home, go to college, and save money until getting married and buying their own house, that's great too! So long as they're doing what they feel the Lord has for them, I'll be happy. :)

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

Right now, I'm sad when I think about it. That might change during the teenage years. :tongue_smilie: I do want them to move out and move on with their lives, and I'm sure I will find plenty to do to keep myself occupied and happy. I will enjoy visiting them in their adult habitats, and will hopefully have some grandchildren to babysit, but I will surely miss this period of our lives. I love our life together now.

[BigMamaBird]

Oh goodness, moving out?!

 

At this point I fantasize about everyone being out of diapers! :D

[Janie Grace]

Sometimes I look forward to it only as related to the "work" of mothering -- the cleaning, the cooking, the schooling, etc. Having a neat house and free time sounds wonderful. But I know that when they leave, I will miss them constantly. Not in a mopey, my life is over way -- but in a very real way, I will feel their absence every day. I don't think about it a lot. Our youngest is 2 so we have a lot of years left.

[houseofkids&pets]

Depends on the day...:tongue_smilie:

[KatieJ]

By the time our last one got married and moved out 2 years ago, we had been parenting for 34 years. Did I look forward to an empty nest?

Absolutely! I had done my job and I was ready for them to be on their own.

Same as Ellie said, my DH had a harder time with it. He is just fine now!

[Tarreymere]

Oh goodness, moving out?!

 

At this point I fantasize about everyone being out of diapers! :D

 

 

Yep, that one was major for me.

 

 

Now that my youngest is five I have to admit I think about having them all grown and out of the house. I plan to move to an tiny apartment with central air and a dishwasher, next to the library and close to a yarn store, and hire a cleaning lady. I hope dh will move with me......:)

[love2read]

I did until a couple of the oldest moved out. On fantasy island I would spend the day surrounded by all my little ones again.

[swellmomma]

I look forward to my older 2 moving out. In fact that is the solace I cling to sometimes, that it is only 4 years away etc. The younger 2 I can not imagine every moving out. They are still so young and do not push me to my limits the way the older 2 do.

[swellmomma]

Yep, that one was major for me.

 

 

Now that my youngest is five I have to admit I think about having them all grown and out of the house. I plan to move to an tiny apartment with central air and a dishwasher, next to the library and close to a yarn store, and hire a cleaning lady. I hope dh will move with me......:)

 

I was reading along thining this post sounds just like what I would say and then got to the bolded and choked on my coffee. THat is exactly something my mother would say :lol:

 

My goal once the kids move out is to get a cute little place in the woods, and find me a good bed buddy that will offer companionship without getting in my way ;)

[swellmomma]

This fall, I was down to one at home. I liked that better. Then my son returned home after not finding a job and then middle came home from college, sick. Now my son is moving into an apartment tomorrow so I will be left with two. We go to Mayo Clinic next week, and hopefully, sick daughter will be diagnosed and back to college in AUgust. Yes, I do really look forward to all of them being grown and independent. So do they.

 

As Margaret in Co said, you are never not a parent but I would like some more peace in the house.

 

This is key. I love my kids dearly but to finally have a peaceful home, a true refuge from the world rather than a place of utter chaos and turmoil due to another person and their issues. I would not live with a room mate or spouse that behaved as my son does, I only do with my son because he is a minor, but without serious changes he can expect suitcases for his 18th birthday iykwim. It is not about not loving our kids enough etc. But the saying Absense makes the heart grow fonder exists for a reason and can certainly apply to a couple of my kids

[m0mmaBuck]

I would say I look forward to my oldest moving forward.... with anything.... No able-bodied 20 yo should still live at home imo. Having 2 strong-minded, full-fledged adults in a home (DH and I) is enough... Adding a third who is trying to establish some sort of power niche for himself is too much. There is no "power" up for grabs here. And there will be no peace until either he realizes that (which he shows no signs of doing) or moves on.

[Kathryn]

Yep, that one was major for me.

 

 

Now that my youngest is five I have to admit I think about having them all grown and out of the house. I plan to move to an tiny apartment with central air and a dishwasher, next to the library and close to a yarn store, and hire a cleaning lady. I hope dh will move with me......:)

 

:lol: and :iagree: I just got done with diapers a few months ago and ODS insists he will never, ever leave me, but I'm an introvert and the level of clinginess is high in this house. I assume that I'll have some years in the middle where I'm not itching to be by myself.