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Everything posted by Hoggirl

  1. Munro is a good brand. I have to order 1/2 size larger than my regular size.
  2. @Nancy in NH I only WISH I were that witty! That term was completely appropriated by me from a witty soul on College Confidential. 🙂
  3. I think schools are transparent about the fact that the process isn’t transparent. That’s kind of what the “holistic” label conveys. I think where MOST (not the well-informed folks on this board, but most) people get into trouble is placing too much emphasis on the objective, quantifiable stats. I even talked to a school counselor who was just “stunned” that one of her students had not gotten into Stanford a couple of years ago. “She has perfect grades, several APs, 1500+ on the her test scores. What in the world do they want?” she lamented. All that PLUS is what they want. The ”plus” is the part that can’t be defined or transparent because it isn’t quantifiable. So, hopeful but uninformed folks see that their dc is in the top 25% of stats and assume they are a shoo-in. It just doesn’t work that way. We can belabor and debate the relative fairness or rightness of that all day long. Right now, it just takes something in addition to objective stats. What should that something be? Private institutions get to determine that for themselves. It will, however, be interesting to see how the Harvard case plays out. Hang in there as this lingering countdown continues. And, keep in mind that once all the decisions are in the USS Indecison sets sail....
  4. I think this was a wise decision. For those who need significant financial aid, applying ED is not a good idea. Although, I have a friend whose daughter applied ED to Dartmouth and got in. I doubt they were Pell level, but they might have been. They were definitely not people of means. Friend was widowed at a young age, had four children, no full-time job, etc. ED definitely works to the advantage of those who are full-pay. Not to be overly political, but the “donut hole”/middle class get squeezed out of that option.
  5. I don’t think it’s generally “slight” at all. EA might only be considered “slight,” since it is non-binding. But, I think ED is significant.
  6. There is no doubt that having the ability to apply ED gives an advantage in admissions. For the most recent Common Data Set I could find for Williams, there were 584 who applied ED and 235 of those were accepted. That’s about 40%. It’s also approximately 42% of the students who wound up enrolling. Maybe that isn’t relevant - obviously they accept more in RD than enroll. But, given that they have 42% of their seats already filled by the time RD applications come in and they need to control yield, that is obviously going to impact how many they accept in RD. For those who wanted to look up and calculate ED rates, they are on lines C21 and C22 of the CDS. I just always google the name of the school and the words “common data set” to get to it.
  7. ^As one of my dear friends used to say, “It’s an asking world.”
  8. Are they peer institutions? And what “level”/“type” of institution are we talking about?
  9. @kokotg - I did not hear about this. Can you elaborate?
  10. ^I agree. Ds had a friend who was accepted to Vassar with those range of stats. This was five years ago, but it is easier for males to gain admission to some of these LACs. He did wind up at Eckerd, and then transferred to Hendrix at semester. Lol.
  11. You may already know this, and I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but for schools that use the CSS Profile, the non-custodial parent’s finances will also be considered. Will your ex- be cooperative in filling out the Profile? Will he be willing to contribute to ds’s college education? Have you run Net Price Calculators on these schools to see if they are affordable for you? I am a firm believer in focusing on finances even before worrying about gaining admission. I would set a firm budget of what is affordable first.
  12. Go to Beale Street in Memphis and listen to live music. 🙂. I sent you a pm, also.
  13. Okay, you are waaaayyy younger than I am, but you need to get down the new slang, which is spill the TEA! Though, gosh that is certainly problematic on these boards given what TEA is used as a euphemism for!!! Lololol! I’d use an emoji, but I’m afraid it would be GIANT!
  14. Not everyone has a UNC-Chapel Hill, Georgia, Georgia Tech, Berkeley, UVA, Michigan-type state flagship, though. Those of you who do are extremely fortunate, and I do think you realize this.
  15. I completely agree with the bolded. I think this is the part that often goes unsaid and is the aspect that rubs people the wrong way the most.
  16. @skimomma - I’m sorry you are already struggling with differences of opinion regarding what choices you make for financing your dd’s schooling. People can be VERY vocal about sharing their opinions regarding what one should spend on college. I’m just going to say that, “You’re d@mned if you do and d@mned if you don’t.” At the time ds was applying we lived in the town of our state flagship. If you looked elsewhere you were accused: “Isn’t what’s in your own backyard good enough for you?” Why, yes, it is. Dh went there, his dad went there, my dad went there. Then you have the local kids who are loathe to attend there. “It’s like Grade 13.” Well, no, it really isn’t. Please don’t act like it’s beneath you to attend there. Many of our friends and family have and have done just fine, thank you very much. Then you have parents who say, “No way would Tom and I pay $50,000 per year for undergrad. Anyone who would do that is stupid.” Um, okay. It’s actually more than that, and thanks for calling us stupid!! We truly had someone say this to us!! Then you have parents who ONLY allow their child to apply to in-state schools because they know it will absolutely be the least expensive option. Financial aid, NPCs, be d@mned. There is FAR too much emotional angst tied up in college choice and selection. IMO, many people enter it from the wrong direction. Everyone should start with a budget! Everyone should have the freedom to tell their kids, “No, that isn’t going to work for us.” For some reason, some people hang a yoke of shame around your neck if you don’t allow your kid to attend the highest ranked universtiy to which they gain admittance at all costs. . That’s wholly unfair and probably unreasonable. There are a myriad of factors to consider when deciding what is workable for your family: budget-wise, outcome wise, experience wise. There isn’t just *ONE* way to do college. Your finances and preferences are PERSONAL, and you should be under no obligation to explain yourself to anyone - not even your kids. A college education is a privilege, not a right. Having the “college experience” (whatever that means) is a privilege, not a right. However, it’s like being pregnant. Everyone feels as though they have standing to give you unsolicited advice. Here is mine: My best advice to anyone is to find your standard script and stick to it. “Thank you for sharing your viewpoint. We are going to do what is best for our family as I am sure you are doing what is best for yours.” Then pass the bean dip. It’s really best not to engage at all. “Junior is casting a wide net. We’ll see how it all shakes out.” Pass the bean dip. People have no qualms asking where you are applying, what test scores are, and sharing their own views. Everyone wants to JUSTIFY their choices. I have NO idea why! You, do you! I’m gonna do me! For some reason, the college search and selection process seems to be off limits for the live and let live mindset. I will say that one never knows what another’s finances are. Your colleagues may have access to financial resources about which you have zero knowledge. It’s exhausting because once it ramps up, it seems to be all anyone talks about. I can only imagine how much worse it is in academia. I have told many a person that Jack and Jesus saw me through the process. Hang in there.
  17. I absolutely think that people of a certain generation are overly concerned about appearances. My father-in-law was horrible about this (my mother-in-law to a lesser extent). It extends to things beyond physical appearances, too. Are you living your life as THEY think you should. It can be maddening. It’s clear she has boundary issues. But, I’m someon who struggles with offering unsolicited advice as well. Even if you give her the benefit of the doubt and assume she is trying to be “helpful,” it doesn’t come across that way. ”Mom, I know you are trying to be helpful, but when you make unsolicited suggestions on ways for me to lose weight, you hurt my feelings. Please don’t do that anymore.” If she continues to do so, I’d remind her. “Mom, I’ve asked you not to bring this up. I am not discussing this with you.” Honestly, technology makes it easier for us to be “helpful,” since it doesn’t require a face-to-face discussion. I’m sure it would bother me. On the other hand, I have a morbidly obese cousin, and my concern for her is about her health. I no longer say anything (even when she brings up her weight) because nothing I say is received well - even if it’s about health.
  18. OP, I’m sensing a few different frustrations in your posts: 1) Finances 2) A private school bias/preference, (^if she HAS to choose a state school) 3) Worries about gaining admission because of test scores (^) 4) Finding the right balance given all of theses concerns We were full-pay, and yes, it is an exorbitant amount of money to spend. We, however, only had one, and your situation is different than that. Perhaps because of your and your dh’s own educational backgrounds, you have a bias or preference for private schools. I am sensing (and could, of course, be way off base) that you somehow feel that your daughter will be “settling” if she has to attend a state school. This seems to be accompanied by guilt because you feel like you can’t really afford private college educations for all four of your children. Most people cannot afford to do this. Intertwined in this is your concern about low test scores (so she can’t even get into the “best” state school) and your frustration about her lack of interest in the subject of college in general. Anyone who is full pay has to determine the “value” of what they are paying for. How one measures “value” is highly subjective and is dependent on preferences, family culture, philosophical views of education and its purposes, ROI, and many other individualized factors. Our ds had two options that were free, three that were full-pay, and four in between. His short list included one from each category. He chose the full-pay. We felt it was worth it, but we could afford it. Given the school and our finances, it was the right balance for us. He forewent our helping in grad school in any meaningful way by choosing this school, and he knew that. If we had had four children to put through college we could NOT have afforded to have allowed them all to make that same choice. We *might* have been able to do two. Your daughter can receive a fabulous education at any number of schools. You don’t have to spend $60,000+ per year to get a quality education. The two greatest gifts I believe we can give our children is a debt-free undergraduate education and not being a financial burden to them in our retirement. Some of us can do that, some of us cannot. We can only try to do what we can. Being able to do both definitely requires careful planning and making good choices with our money. Even with that, it may not be possible. Life happens. I really feel your stress about the costs coming through in your posts. I believe people should approach college choice and selection by looking at finances first. Start with your retirement. Where are you now, where do you want to be, and how are you going to get there. Once that has been determined, then look at what can be done for college choices. Figure out what you are able and willing to contribute and set a budget based on what YOU can afford. It doesn’t matter that a net price calculator tells you that you can afford more. The outcome of that may or may not be an accurate reality of your finances anyway. Determine what you can afford to pay for your children’s education and start there. Everyone has a budget. Start with affordable schools where she can get in - your “safeties.” I almost sense that you’ve figured out that a four-year private college education isn’t doable for your daughter, so now you are trying to “sell” her on a different alternative - the two-year program as a PTA (I think this is what you mentioned). You feel like not being able to afford four-year private schools for all of your children is a “problem,” and now you are trying to solve it. Am I reading that incorrectly? You wish your dd’s scores were better. You wish she cared more about participating in college disc You wish that you could just tell her that she can go anywhere she can get in, but you are unsure if that is wise. Please don’t agonize over things you may not be able to change. This will be a short season in your relationship. It will be stressful (it just is!), but try to make the best of it. It is SO HARD for me not to talk and talk and talk. I feel your pain in this area - I really do. I will be talking and talking and talking, and my brain will be saying, STOP TALKING!” But, I just can’t seem to stop! Ack! Sorry - this is a really rambling post. And, please know that I am only trying to be helpful. PS - We have some friends who sent their kids to a K-12 private school. They actually got a pay raise as each of their four kids started at their in-state public university because the private school tuition for the high school years was higher than the college tuition.
  19. Okay, I’m going to be the harsh one. First - it’s YOUR money, and you can spend it as you see fit. No guilt, no obligations. Give her a budget of what you’re willing to spend. Just because you *can* do something doesn’t mean that is the right/best thing to do. Secondly, no way, no how, would I spend private college costs (even if they were discounted) for a seemingly reluctant, average student who is just going to college because she thinks that is the next step. Thirdly (gently), maybe it’s time to back down for just a bit? Not push the college talk so much? She really needs to own the decision herself. There is no doubt she is clear on what you want for her, but she needs to figure out what she wants for herself. Does SHE want the four-year experience? Why does she want that? Does she have a bunch of wealthy friends who are all going to private school for college? She isn’t entitled to it even if you can technically afford it. She has to show she is worthy of that by being mature and taking some initiative. Let her know you are always available to talk to her about college stuff, but for right now you are going to give her some space. I would also give her the caveat that dragging her feet will limit her choices. She needs to make something happen for herself. If you choose for her, and it doesn’t work out, she will blame you. Just my $0.02. YMMV - a lot! As always, advice is worth what you pay for it.
  20. When I was in college, my PO Box retinal for one year was $1. When ds was in college (different college, however), his PO Box rental fro one year was $75. Not that that explains tens of thousands of dollars in increases. It was just something I took note of.
  21. Do you have a laundry room and/or garage? We no longer have dogs, but we kept their food in a large, plastic tub in the garage. Just had a scoop in the tub. We kept flea stuff, leashes, etc. in a cabinet in the laundry room.
  22. We are doing awesome here! Officially out of our off-site, 5 x 5 storage unit! Woo-boo! Still working on finding homes for some of the items that were in there. Mostly things that belong to ds. He doesn’t have a lot, either, but our downsized condo is small - 935 sq ft. Our on-site storage unit is 3 x 4. I am slowly mailing him sheet music in priority, flat-rate, USPS boxes. He also has photo albums that his grandmother made for him. She would give him one (sometimes two) small, but fat photo albums each year. They are challenging. The photos are all in sleeves, BUT she affixed labels on the outside that are descriptions or captions about the photo itself. Idk how successfully they could be scanned with the sleeves on, but I am not doing that for ds. I am shipping them to him, and he can figure it out. Getting him his sheet music and albums will eliminate two, large, Steri-lite tubs. We still have some challenges with some other things. Our bed is platform and not much can go under it. Other bedroom has a sleeper sofa, so no under bed storage there. I never thought we could go without off-site storage, but we are going to make it work! And save $105 per month because of it! Yay!
  23. “Better to have it and not need it than need it and not have it,” is one of my many mantras. Is he just taking Latin? I am a fan of doing one subject test at a time if possible. Yes, you can take three in one day, but I think that’s a bit much. If he’s strong in Latin, start with that, and then align other subjects when taken to additional subject tests. Ds has several schools that listed submitting two subjects tests as optional. One school wanted three. Even if optional, it’s just one more data point. For homeschoolers, I think they are good to have as just one other means of “outside verification.”
  24. I think the kitchen is an easy place to start because there are often many duplicates. I mean, how many 9 x 13 glass casseroles does one *really* need?? It’s often easy to “halve” the kitchen, I think. I’m not going to have exact duplicates in clothing - except maybe jeans and black pants. I also got rid of a lot of limited use appliances when we did our downsize.
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