Jean in Newcastle Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 (edited) Yes, this is a spin-off on the "close to siblings" poll. If the chips were down, would you be there for your siblings and would they be there for you? I'm assuming that the chips are really down and it's not a case of manipulation. ETA: I know - I goofed and did not make the poll so that you could make multiple choices. I apologize. Edited December 2, 2011 by Jean in Newcastle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MinivanMom Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 Yes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 It depends on what you mean by "be there." I'd send money if it were needed. I'd bail him out of jail if needed. But due to lack of proximity I could not be there as a shoulder to cry on if a relationship went bad or if he broke both legs and needed someone to push his wheelchair. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 (edited) my siblings and I were not close growing up, and even further apart as adults. I tried to "be there" for my brother the last couple years since our mother's death. he is a real sob at times (and not nearly as smart as he thinks he is. He's very insecure, and engages in the type of bully/manipulation typical of the agressive-insecure person). our relationship is now severed, by his own behavior that made continuing the relationship intolerable. the irony was, he thought he could have his cake and eat it too. I would this would be a wake up call, but he's too dense, so I'm not holding my breath. sometimes, it's better for a person to have to sit in the hole they dug for themselves and contemplate it than to be "rescued". Edited December 2, 2011 by gardenmom5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted December 2, 2011 Author Share Posted December 2, 2011 It depends on what you mean by "be there." I'd send money if it were needed. I'd bail him out of jail if needed. But due to lack of proximity I could not be there as a shoulder to cry on if a relationship went bad of if he broke both legs and needed someone to push his wheelchair. Be there in some capacity. But mostly be "family" - as in they can turn to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lang Syne Boardie Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 Yeah. We only get together a few times per year (and not even every year) but the one thing our family is good at is hard times. We don't always like each other but we always love each other. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaT Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 Yes, I would be there for them and have no doubts that they would be there for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nono Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 Yes. In both directions. We're very different people, but that's irrelevant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redsquirrel Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 In. A. Heatbeat. I love them as much as I love my children. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted December 2, 2011 Author Share Posted December 2, 2011 Yes. In both directions. We're very different people, but that's irrelevant. Oops. I messed up the poll by not making it so that you would vote more than one way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daisy Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 We don't even know when each other is in need. We don't share that kind of information. I sometimes hear of it through my mom. I will send my parents money to filter to my siblings when they need it. No, I don't really think we would be there for each other. Not because we don't love each other, but simply because we live so far apart and have other support systems in place. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 I would for my siblings, but they weren't for me when I went through terrible experience. One sister was attacking towards me; the others "disappeared." My brother (the youngest) has since told me that he regrets it terribly, though. He possibly would do differently now, but he was a kid in college at the time. The family I come from is quite dysfunctional relationally. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 (edited) You know, I would love to say that I would be there for my brother....and I think if he asked me pretty much anything, I would not refuse, but the truth is...He had a tragedy in his life and I couldn't be there for him...AND, I have had tragedies in mine...and he could not be there for me. I don't think there are hard feelings on either end. Just life gets in the way...and prioritizing is done. IOW, my children and caring for them had to come before his needs....and his needs were great. He had a spinal aneurism and was paralyzed from the chest down. He was in the hospital for months....but, I was not able to visit except for nce, because I was on total bedrest for my now 7 year old....sigh.... Anyway...our lives have taken very separate paths. I love him...and he loves me, but our lives do not...and really can not intertwine. Faithe ETA: My SIL and I would and can and have been there always (since I was 16 & she was 17) for eachother. My Dh is very close with his sister and so am I. Edited December 2, 2011 by Mommyfaithe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 (edited) It all depends. I literally can't help financially. However, I would be willing to take certain siblings in, if needed. I have had a sibling in jail, and there is no way on earth I would have bailed him out, due to why he was there. I know that two of them would be there for me. They also aren't able to help financially, but if my family needed a place to stay for whatever reason, either one of them would make it work. Oh, and today is their birthday :) (yes, twins) Edited December 2, 2011 by mommaduck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 (edited) We don't always like each other but we always love each other. :iagree: If my brother went through a divorce, we'd probably be MUCH closer than we are now. I hate to even type that, and I wish their family well. I'd much rather he finds a way to get along in his marriage than be close to the rest of us. But with SIL in the equation, we aren't likely ever to be super close and he isn't likely to need or want our emotional support. I actually would NOT ever help him financially because my parents have helped them many times, and they are chronic money mismanagers. I personally think my parents have enabled them to be this way and I don't want to be a party to it. I also wouldn't spring him from jail. My parents have done that too. But I do love my brother, wish him well, and would be here for him if he needed it. My brother lives in a bubble and isn't always sensitive to other people's needs, so it's hard to know. I think he'd be there in the society prescribed ways of helping in a surface way, and go back to his bubble. Edited December 2, 2011 by kck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 If there were a real need, yes. They aren't the most pleasant people to be with, so if we were helping there would be strings attached! :tongue_smilie: (Like, IF you stop making such rude remarks to us about homeschooling!) Dawn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsJewelsRae Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 Absolutely. My sister and I are best friends and talk every single day. My brother and I are also close and his wife is one of my best friends as well, we usually talk once a week or so. All 3 of us homeschool our children, so we also have lots in common. If we ever needed each other we'd drop everything to be there, and have. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myfunnybunch Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 I would be there for them. They would be there for me. We have our grouchy moments, and we don't talk every single day. But when the chips are down, we're there for one another, period. And we all know that. My mother's husband thought we weren't close because we don't talk or email daily and we don't always share every single detail of our lives. Then he was around for a "Girls Weekend" at my mom's house when we all got together. That changed his mind, lol. Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 I would and have been there. Not a single one of them would notice if I died. Well maybe 6 months to a year later they would if word got to them from others. Maybe. Eventually. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forget-Me-Not Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 Yes, all the way around. Case in point: I had a major health issue last week during Thanksgiving. My brother, SIL and their new baby happened to be in town for the holiday and spent a lot of time with my kids in order take them off my hands and help me out while DH was at work. My mom watched them as well, and my MIL came and took them for more than half the day early this week in order to let me rest. We are truly, truly blessed with family on both sides. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheApprentice Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 Yes, I would "be there" for my siblings, as this has already been put to the test. They would be there for me as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 Nope, both ways. Partly b/c of distance. We're across country. We have no contact at all, other than via my mother. There's no hard feelings, at least not that I know of, it just doesn't exist, a relationship btwn us. That being said, I've prayed for them, esp when my nephew was born w/heart defects. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
higginszoo Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 The poll would have worked better as multiple choice, but yes, I'd be there for my brothers and they'd be there for me. We're geographically separated by distances that don't keep us close, but any of us would drop everything for either of the others if there was a need. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Love HSing Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 I would and have been there for my siblings in whatever way I can/could be. Some of them would be there for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Kate Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 I only have one sibling (a brother) and my answer is - ABSOLUTELY! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crissy Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 Yes. I would help financially, emotionally, offer a place to stay, etc. My sisters, I believe, would do the same in whatever capacity they were able. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
littlebug42 Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 My brother, sister and I would do absolutely anything we possibly could to help each other without hesitation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 Have you every heard the expression Once is a mistake, twice is by choice. I have helped out my siblings many, many times, into the tens of thousands of dollars. I have been burned ... too many times to count. So, if 'twice is by choice' then I am a fricking idiot for extending grace 8-10-15... times. My siblings would not be there for me, as proven over the past 5 years with their promises to help me raise dd5 if I took on her guardianship. One of the 5 siblings I was raised with, babysat her for 1 hour one time, and dd13 was there doing all the work. Any other time I have asked, I have been told they were too busy. My siblings are more related to dd5 than I am (she is my half-great niece) as they are full aunts. After all of this, No, I will not help them anymore. I cut the purse strings and cinched it up tight. Even my mom has been cut off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 I voted that I would be there for my sib, but I could not vote in two places--he would not be there for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krista in LA Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 I have 1 out of my 4 siblings that I would be there for and vice versa. Not that I don't care about the others, but they each have issues. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denise in Florida Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 I tried to vote for both the 1st and 3rd option but could only chose one. I would be there for my sister and she would be there for me. Not just money but emotional/spiritual support as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Puma Mom Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 There were not enough choices but the only straightforward answer I could give was that none of my siblings would be there for me. That's the most true. I am the white sheep of the family. If you took all the best qualities of my 3 siblings, you'd have one amazing person but unfortunately it doesn't work that way. My older brother has been in and out of jail for drunk driving and possession of something he shouldn't have had. He's a hard worker but can't get along with people. My younger brother is a sweetheart with no job and no interest in having one. He lives with/on my dad which is okay because he helps out and my dad likes having him around. My sister is borderline mentally disabled but has a job, car, and takes care of herself outside of handling the money. My brothers have created their own messes. I will not enable them further and nor will they ask me to. I will help my sister if she needs it and I will manage her money when my dad can't. My brothers would help me physically. My older brother helped my ds move from his college dorm and offered to 'deal with' the roommate that prompted the move. My younger brother would do what he could considering he has no money, no car, and no license. My sister....I don't know what she could do. She's stuck in that self-focused stage of maturity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TXMomof4 Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 My siblings are awesome. My brother came to spend Christmas with just me and my dh when I was pg and couldn't travel. He flew to TX to drive to GA with me while dh was deployed. He did the same for my sis while she was going through a divorce and needed to get away for a while - he even paid for most of the trip and entertainment for her and her girls. I've gone to my sister's to help seperate households while she was going through her divorce. She paid for part of a plane ticket so ds and I could fly to England to see her and her new baby. I love my sibs. I hope my kids grow up loving and caring for each other like me and my sibs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unicorn. Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 I would be there for either of them, but I don't think I could say the same for them. My brother, maybe. My sister...depends on her mood. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jayne J Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 I have only one sister and she lives in another state about 11 hrs away. We'd both walk the whole way if the other really needed us. Whatever she needed I give her if I had it and she'd do the same, without thinking anything of it. I guess I never realized how lucky I am that we have this relationship. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
akmommy Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 Yes, I would and i am pretty certain if needed they'd be there for me and they have been in the past. The middle brother is a bit different story because he has some problems that would make me cautious in how I help him, but I would try to find a way as long as it did not put my family at risk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
athena1277 Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 I would be there for my brother if there was a way I could help. I really don't know if he would do the same for me. We have really grown apart as adults. Our lifestyles are very different. Not for lack of trying, but I have not seen him in about 4 years. :sad: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KidsHappen Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 I would be there for one of my siblings no matter what. If I had to sell my house or give a kidney. He would do the same for me. I know that it is not part of the poll but the same goes for most of my children. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurie4b Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 We are not close, so it would be duty, but I would be there for them if needed. I don't know whether the reverse would be true; I doubt it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2squared Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 My brother and I have each other's backs, but we have the same values and generally make the same life choices. Now, Dh has 8 sibs. We would absolutely be there for all of them, but.....some of them make very questionable life choices. We would not support those choices. I am sure those sibs don't believe we are or would be there for them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cin Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 ACK you forgot the 'obligatory other'. I have no siblings :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 I am there for my siblings if they want me. My brother is almost always there when I need him. Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 We would be there for each other. It's just the two of us. We've always looked out for each other. Even though I don't agree with the negative direction his life has taken (nor does he agree with my "uptight" lifestyle-his words), we would never let each other fall. That also goes for most of my inlaws. My dh is one of 7(step included) and half of those we help regardless, the other 3 if it were dire. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 Yes. My siblings and I have come through for each other on many occasions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
livingnlearning Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 Definitely-my brother and I have gone above and beyond to help each other, always have. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LizzyBee Posted December 3, 2011 Share Posted December 3, 2011 Yes. I always tell my kids that most of their friends will only be in their life for a season, but their sisters will always be there, so they need to start treating each other like best friends now. After my diagnosis and hospitalization last summer, I've reminded them a couple times that it was my sister who was there holding my head while I was throwing up. Same sister was ready to get tested to see if she is a match for a bone marrow transplant, but I hope I will never need one. I don't live close to any of my sisters, but we visit each other as often as we can. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted December 3, 2011 Share Posted December 3, 2011 I would be there for my brothers even if the need was small. We are very close and FIERCELY loyal. They would do the same for me. You mess with me, you mess with them and vice versa. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted December 3, 2011 Share Posted December 3, 2011 I would be there for them, as I always have been. One of them would be there for me. Not so much on the other three. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom4him Posted December 3, 2011 Share Posted December 3, 2011 We have been in difficult situations more than once and so have some of my siblings. All of them have not tried to help but a couple did when we really needed it and I have not always helped but I have when I felt appropriate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Posted December 3, 2011 Share Posted December 3, 2011 My brother was not there when my mom and I needed him. After her death he totally abandoned me. And my sons. We have no relationship now and I'm much happier. Dh's brothers and sisters in law? There for us. And we for them. They are the best people on the planet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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