PentecostalMom Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 If we were on the verge of not being able to eat, losing utilities or housing....then absolutely. First, I would try to find a shift opposite of dh, but if there were no other options, feeding and housing our family comes before hsing. Dirt poor, no problem....just not homeless! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 Well... We swapped roles for a bit. Wolf was in a miserable dead end job. Always wanted to start his own business. So, I went back to health care, 3-11, while he came home. I was still homeschooling during the day, and he was home while I worked. For those who have to pay for daycare, both parents working rarely provides any financial advantages (talking lower to average income) as daycare tends to suck up the extra pay. However, if ppl are willing to work shifts, it is doable, at least around here as far as job availability goes. Esp in health care. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
astrid Posted August 9, 2011 Author Share Posted August 9, 2011 :iagree: astrid Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 well that's what I did. Our income dropped dramatically and dh really doesn't have an opportunity to bring that back. My older two don't have childcare issues, but my youngest always will because he has intellectual disabilities. I work two part jobs, during school hours and Saturdays. I teach at an alternative high school part time hours and I teach swimming. Both jobs pay me a lot more than minimum wage. My only difficulties is when youngest is sick or having something for him when I teach summer school--as I've been told to do the last couple of years. But it's worked out well. And I know I gave the kids a great start during the years I did homeschool. I still come to these boards looking for resources to supplement whatever they are doing in school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amy g. Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 I would not put my kids in school. I believe I could find ways to make money while keeping the kids at home. We are accustom to living below our means and working hard. Everyone would have to chip in. Everyone would have to sacrifice, but I believe we could make it work somehow just like we have always been able to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HRAAB Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 At this point with my children being older, yes I would. Even if my children were younger, and it was literally a matter of keeping the family running and together, I would do it. There are worse things than public school (based on my local area). But, it would have to be pretty desperate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcconnellboys Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 I certainly would, but I only have one left at home and he is older.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rose in BC Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 I work full time M-F (8:30 - 4:30) and homeschool two of my teens. It is not easy but it was necessary because my dh lost his job. The first year I longed (and cried) for what I had. Now its just our new normal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 No to PS. I'd work nights to avoid that. Dh would see about going on straight days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heidi Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 Unless it was a truly desperate situation, probably not. I'm not dedicated to homeschooling as much as I am about being there when they need me. Even if I did put them in ps, I would still stay home. A quote came to my mind from one of my church leaders (CC): He said, "Mothers in Zion, your God-given roles are so vital to your own exaltation and to the salvation and exaltation of your family. A child needs a mother more than all the things money can buy. Spending time with your children is the greatest gift of all. With love in my heart for the mothers in Zion, I would now like to suggest ten specific ways our mothers may spend effective time with their children. "Be at the crossroads. Take time to always be at the crossroads when your children are either coming or going. Be a real friend. Read to your children. Pray with your children. Have weekly home evenings. Be together at mealtimes as often as possible. Read scriptures daily. Do things as a family. Teach your children. Truly love your children." -Ezra T. Benson (emphasis mine) Its just something I believe is important; to just be there "at the crossroads." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shellydon Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 Yes and no. If I needed to go back to work, DH would stay home and take care of the kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angela in ohio Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 In a heartbeat. In the heirarchy of needs, fed and housed are above educational choices, unless the school was truly physically dangerous. My dh would work another job before we came to that point (he has worked three jobs before, and he would do it again.) Or I would work evenings and weekends, opposite of dh, which we did when dc were little. But if none of that was enough, they would go to school and I would go to work all day, too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 ....would you consider putting your kids in school and getting a job? I've felt so badly lately for those posters who are despairing about finances. I can't imagine how tough it must be, but also realize that it could be any one of us, any year. I'm just so sorry.... I can't help but wonder, though, whether those of you who are SAHM's would consider giving up homeschooling in order to keep your house, keep your family together (prevent DH from having to move to another state to find work, etc.) Would that be an option? Or would it be out of the question? astrid For us it would be out of the question. I do work as much as possible given our situation. But given the kids special needs (and the lack of services available in my area as I have learned in the last 6 months because I considered putting the kids in school next year so I could work f/t). DS12 especially would fall through the cracks. Between his learning disabilities, and behaviour issues, and his past history with ps (including suicide ideation at 7 yrs old)without services there is no way I would put them in. In the bigger city we might have more options but in the rural area I am in no way. Instead I am always searching for ways to bring money in without resorting to that step. I used to be in the situation of working F/t while the kids were in ps/daycare and I will not go back to that if I can have any say in it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 Yes, I would. If dh was home, he could continue to home school my two. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 Unless it was a truly desperate situation, probably not. I'm not dedicated to homeschooling as much as I am about being there when they need me. Even if I did put them in ps, I would still stay home. A quote came to my mind from one of my church leaders (CC): He said, "Mothers in Zion, your God-given roles are so vital to your own exaltation and to the salvation and exaltation of your family. A child needs a mother more than all the things money can buy. Spending time with your children is the greatest gift of all. With love in my heart for the mothers in Zion, I would now like to suggest ten specific ways our mothers may spend effective time with their children. "Be at the crossroads. Take time to always be at the crossroads when your children are either coming or going. Be a real friend. Read to your children. Pray with your children. Have weekly home evenings. Be together at mealtimes as often as possible. Read scriptures daily. Do things as a family. Teach your children. Truly love your children." -Ezra T. Benson (emphasis mine) Its just something I believe is important; to just be there "at the crossroads." I agree to a point. Kids need food, shelter and adequate clothing more than a parent home ft though. Imo, anyways. If its a choice btwn the basic needs and a parent at home, I don't honestly know any parent that would have a child with an empty tummy just so they could be home ft. Or go without a winter coat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cdrumm4448 Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 I have thought about this. If DH lost his job and we ran through every penny we have (and were about to lose the house), I would take a work-at-home job (I worked incoming phone sales at home and am good at it) in order to keep homeschooling. My kids are old enough to take care of themselves with me in the house working. I have a Masters Degree and would find something. I also have my Broker's License in holding and could pull it out and sell RE again, but all that's going on here are short sales and foreclosures (which is one reason I put my license in holding in the first place). I am a good salesperson, but I would do just about any job if this situation arose. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 (edited) --- Edited November 10, 2021 by prairiewindmomma Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama2Many4 Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 I've thought about this many times. The problem is that I have no skills, no degree, nothing to fall back on. Let's say I got a job, I would then need to find care for my DD before or after school, on weekends, etc. And I would need to pay for school things. Most likely any job I could get would not pay enough to cover all these things. So while it could be done, it would take a LOT of sacrifice and hardship. I respect those that can get it done, but I'm not sure I could. I also view being a stay at home mother as something that will help us in the long run. I'd rather be dirt poor, then have a child who I can't raise. :iagree: This exactly! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama2Many4 Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 Well, dh and I would not consider putting the boys in school for any reason. Now obviously if I died, he'd have to do *something*, but we've even talked about that, and we have plenty of SAHM/homeschooling friends who would help him homeschool. And he could work from home, given enough time to work that out with his employer. If we were really struggling, we would probably either have dh get a second job, or I'd get a job at nights, or whatever. We'd make it work without putting the boys in school. :iagree: to this as well! I'd work at Mickey D's at night if I had to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Upward Journey Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 ....would you consider putting your kids in school and getting a job? I've felt so badly lately for those posters who are despairing about finances. I can't imagine how tough it must be, but also realize that it could be any one of us, any year. I'm just so sorry.... I can't help but wonder, though, whether those of you who are SAHM's would consider giving up homeschooling in order to keep your house, keep your family together (prevent DH from having to move to another state to find work, etc.) Would that be an option? Or would it be out of the question? astrid We have considered me trying to get a job of some sort, though I'm not sure who would hire me seeing as I haven't worked outside of the home in over 15 years. I do have a teaching degree but very little actual "in the schools" experience. I imagine that I might be able to get a position as a classroom aid or maybe in a tutoring center. At one point in history (i.e. over a decade ago) I did have a valid teaching liscense. The state we live in is very depressed for the kind of work dh does, so he has been looking in the surrounding states. So far no luck, but maybe next week something will come up. Who knows :tongue_smilie: It's very depressing. Really whether we went with him or not would depend on the pay and COLA where the job was. We've even been looking outside of the good 'ol US of A. At this point we haven't seriously considered sending all the kids to public school. But if it comes down to not eating/losing the house or putting the kids in school, we would do it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
busymotherof4 Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 When my husband lost his job a few years ago. We made some tough choices. At the time I had 1 in her senior year in public school. 2 in an amazing Catholic school and a toddler. It was a horrible time. We had to talk to the school and stop paying tuition. We had to talk to the dance studio and stop paying tuition there. My kids had to keep up with dance because the 2 that danced were on the competition team so we signed a contract a few months earlier for the year. I was a SAHM mom but with the kids schedule there was no way I could work. My husband is in a highly specialized field so we knew that he would have to look for work across the US. The 2 of us worked together to find a job. I went with him for several job interviews. (KS and ND) He worked 1 month in a temp position in CA and 1 month in a what was supposed to be perm position in ND. I stayed home with the kids. When things finally worked out with a job after 8 months of unemployment he took a job in CA. I had never seen the place before we moved here. We rented a place sight unseen. The most heartbreaking thing for me was leaving my oldest behind but she had a job and a spot in the summer all city musical. She needed that job so that she could go to college in the fall. I hate being 1/2 way across the country from family (especially my daughter) but a good job that supports our kids is more important. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 Actually, we had a plan last year because there was talk of cut backs and, though my husband has been with the department for 14 years, he was the most recently promoted officer so his job could have just gone away. Anyway, we decided that (since his pension would be liquidated in that case) we'd buy a used RV and take off, walking away from everything. We have enough skills and education to get jobs to pay the bills (more than that, but professional positions in our areas of expertise are scarce these days). We were a little bummed when it didn't happen, actually. Though we were mostly glad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 ....would you consider putting your kids in school and getting a job? I've felt so badly lately for those posters who are despairing about finances. I can't imagine how tough it must be, but also realize that it could be any one of us, any year. I'm just so sorry.... I can't help but wonder, though, whether those of you who are SAHM's would consider giving up homeschooling in order to keep your house, keep your family together (prevent DH from having to move to another state to find work, etc.) Would that be an option? Or would it be out of the question? astrid I would. We are EXTREMELY lucky right now in that we are surviving very comfortably on 1 income. We have stellar insurance, we can afford vacations and extras for our kids. But if that were to change, yes, my kids would go to school and I would go to work. I think we might try to shuffle schedules, finances, so we could still homeschool, and we'd choose very carefully. But I feel pretty strongly about personal responsibility and that's a strong message I want to send to our kids as well. I'm glad there are systems in place for people who REALLY need them, but I have a high demand degree and could likely get a well paying job. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Inna* Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 At my kid's ages, yes I would do that. When they were younger, then no - I would have had to pay for daycare for them which would effectively cancel any benefit of my working (we ran the numbers once). We did not have family available who could have provided free daycare.:iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cassiemc Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 Yes. If we had a drastic and catastrophic change in our financial picture that was not bound to subside within, say, a year, yes, I would send the kids to PS and work full time. Naturally, this would have to be severe, desperate and with no apparent end in sight, but I would not stay in poverty if the solution was send the kids to school and take a paying job or sink for good. This. I would not let my kids go hungry so I could homeschool. I can get a job, put them in PS and feed them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OrdinaryTime Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 Yes, I would if it made financial sense. It probably wouldn't considering the age of my children. I do worry about what would happen if I died suddenly. I would hate for my kids to suddenly be thrust into a school setting with no previous experience while mourning the loss of their mother. However, I don't see how my husband could both work full-time and homeschool them. We have a large life insurance policy on my husband, but only a small one on me. I have tried to up my insurance to his level, but have been denied because my personal income wasn't high enough. (Obviously, I stay home full time!!) Has anyone bought a large life insurance policy (I'm talking a million dollar policy) while staying home full-time? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annandatje Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 (edited) ....would you consider putting your kids in school and getting a job? I've felt so badly lately for those posters who are despairing about finances. I can't imagine how tough it must be, but also realize that it could be any one of us, any year. I'm just so sorry.... I can't help but wonder, though, whether those of you who are SAHM's would consider giving up homeschooling in order to keep your house, keep your family together (prevent DH from having to move to another state to find work, etc.) Would that be an option? Or would it be out of the question? astrid Yes, I have done just that when I felt it was needed. I have always worked at least part time or seasonal because I have a deep rooted fear of being trapped in poverty and/or unhealthy relationship. In fact, I have worked when it did NOT make sense financially just because I felt the drive to stay current and employable. Edited August 10, 2011 by annandatje Concise Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 ....would you consider putting your kids in school and getting a job? Yes, and I did. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caterpiller Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 I would go to work, but I would send my daughter to my moms and would continue to homeschool when I got home. You know, if we had a second :auto: As it is we have Been there done that (twice). It was impossible for both of us to work with out having proper transportation to and from work. For a short go at it my mother took me to and from work and that worked for a while. But we were living with them at the time. Now it would be too much of a drive to and from her own house every day (we live about 15 minutes away, thats a lot of gas going 4 ways) If DH were to loose his job tomorrow I'd probably walk across the street and offer to waitress while DH stayed home with the girly until he found a new job. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ashfern Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 I would have to pay for the little one to be in daycare and the older three to do after-care. I would have to drive 1-2 hours to & from work (depending on traffic) if I were to go back into my field. That would take up all of my income and we haven't even touched clothing (mine & kids), lunches, school expenses & fundraisers, office b-days, etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kim in Appalachia Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 There are no jobs here. We would have to move for me to work. But I can imagine situations where I would do it. Those are more like my nightmares. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 I've thought about this many times. The problem is that I have no skills, no degree, nothing to fall back on. Let's say I got a job, I would then need to find care for my DD before or after school, on weekends, etc. And I would need to pay for school things. Most likely any job I could get would not pay enough to cover all these things. So while it could be done, it would take a LOT of sacrifice and hardship. I respect those that can get it done, but I'm not sure I could. I also view being a stay at home mother as something that will help us in the long run. I'd rather be dirt poor, then have a child who I can't raise. Same for me, all around. We don't have family to fall back on for help watching the girls. And we ARE in a very bad situation right now, but putting the girls in school is just not going to happen. We view homeschooling as something that will help the girls in the long run. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renee in NC Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 Yes, I have done just that when I felt it was needed. I have always worked at least part time or seasonal because I have a deep rooted fear of being trapped in poverty and/or unhealthy relationship. In fact, I have worked when it did NOT make sense financially just because I felt the drive to stay current and employable. I just wanted to say that I read your post before you edited it and I would probably feel the same as you. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 If the wolves were at the door, definitely. He'd be in school and I'd be working full-time. Homeschooling is not a hill upon which a family should die. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lauranc Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 Yes. In the past I might have had a different answer, but I really feel now that if it came down to it, I would put my kids in school. It wouldn't be worth it to me to have the whole family stressed. I would feel incredibly guilty not doing something to help financially if we were in that much distress. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peela Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 If the wolves were at the door, definitely. He'd be in school and I'd be working full-time. Homeschooling is not a hill upon which a family should die. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pretty in Pink Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 If my going to work would secure extra money such that it enabled us to avoid losing a home or my dh having to move out of state to support our family then, yes, absolutely I would enroll the children in school and go to work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
astrid Posted August 10, 2011 Author Share Posted August 10, 2011 I would feel incredibly guilty not doing something to help financially if we were in that much distress. This is how I feel. I"m not sure I could sit by while my food supply dwindles, we lose our home (or apartment, whatever the case may be) utilities and other necessities. I don't think I could watch my dh work so hard without feeling compelled to contribute to the family income. astrid Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 This is what we did. I school in the morning. My mom and dad take the boys in the afternoon and help them with schoolwork that needs to be done. I clean houses 3 days a week and do bookkeeping once a week. I help people organize clutter on the weekends. It helped tremendously when dh was out of work (a little over a year). I continue to work now that he's back on the job because he makes much, much less and with my extra income we can get our savings back and pay off the house quicker. I hope to be done cleaning houses in 5 years though. It's hard work. The money is good, but it's getting tough. I try very hard not to say bad things about public school because the boys could end up going if anything happened. For now, we're making it work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
astrid Posted August 10, 2011 Author Share Posted August 10, 2011 I've thought about this many times. The problem is that I have no skills, no degree, nothing to fall back on. Do you worry about how you'd provide for your family should something (god forbid) happen to your husband? astrid Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renee in NC Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 This is how I feel. I"m not sure I could sit by while my food supply dwindles, we lose our home (or apartment, whatever the case may be) utilities and other necessities. I don't think I could watch my dh work so hard without feeling compelled to contribute to the family income. astrid It's even worse to feel that way and there be nothing you can do. I *did* put my dc in school last year, but was never able to find a job that paid enough to cover daycare. At the time, I couldn't work "opposite shifts" because dh's work hours were crazy and even PT jobs specified "open availability required." It was a nightmare and the "easy solution" of putting them in school and getting a job never happened. It did show me the craziness, though. For 6 weeks last winter, I had at least one child home sick (or the baby was sick) every single day. What job would tolerate that? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keptwoman Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 We had a situation a few years ago when DH was unemployed for 5 months. It was really hard. What I discovered during that time was that I wasn't qualified for anything. I could have applied and got a job in a call centre or similar, and would have but then we would have had the issue that when DH went back to work, juggling the kids outside of school hours would have been next to impossible. I felt I couldn't take a job and then resign a month later when DH got work, and that was really the only option. For that reason, I'm putting the kids into school next year. They are a bit older now and will be fine at school for a year while I take that time to study towards a skill that is marketable and will work around the childrens schedules. After that year, I don't know whether they will come home or not, that's something we will address after we have done our year. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renee in NC Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 Do you worry about how you'd provide for your family should something (god forbid) happen to your husband? astrid Not me. Between the monthly amount from social security and his life insurance we would be fine. It would be more than we net now.;) The HUGE problem would be if something happened to me - my social security amount is way less than his and I don't have near as much life insurance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ma23peas Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 Astrid, That is oh so tough and so many particulars that are unknown...I do know that there are organizations that help mortgages when you are out of work (friend of ours is an aerospace engineer that lost his job due to NASA cuts...he's got a PhD and is the most incredible person, if he can't find a job, it's a desperate work force right now...but he found an organization that has been covering their mortgage...I think it's through their church). Also, there are other resources...I think we would try everything possible to keep one of us at home...I honestly believe that is the greatest job on earth...the time we have with them is so limited. Out of my 80+ projected life time...only 20 will be spent raising my children....40+ will be in the work force in some capacity...those 40 will never outweight the 40. Also, as far as death, we took out high term life policies when we were in our early 30's...(less than $50 a month!)..it expires at age 65...but by then the kids should be able to manage! :) But we put quite a bit on both of us to help the other one be able to survive and still stay at home without working...we also took out aflac to cover injuries....it's all less than most pay for cable/internet service monthly...I think well worth it. HTH Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1bassoon Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 Hey Astrid - Well, I've been wrestling with that decision off and on for a while now. (Dh has been un- or under-employed for almost 4 years now) I haven't read all the responses, but a couple of things about our particular situation. . . . First, my kids would be in 4 different schools. I really don't know how that would work if I were to get a job - and my certification has lapsed, so any job I did get would most likely be like the cleaning job I'm doing now - $8/hour. Second, I feel really, really blessed that I have managed to find work doing the following: I'm teaching at 2 co-ops, for a total of 5 science classes. My younger two can go with me, my older two can manage at home. Also, I have a smattering of piano students - that also helps. And, I've been able to keep a portion of my cleaning hours to have a little extra income. The co-ops and piano pay quite a bit better than minimum, so I'm able to stay home with the kids. We are very, very committed long-term to homeschooling. But it is a scary place to be. Praying a job comes soon. . . . very soon. . . . . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missiemick Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 I guess since we're pretty much always broke and my husband HAS moved away for a job then my answer would be 'No.' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dustybug Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 This is our home, too. When Zee was a baby, we hadn't decided to homeschool yet, and just all around had a different set of priorities for our family than we do now. Dh suggested once that I have his mother watch Zee so that I could go back to work. I just looked at him and said 'I didn't give birth so that someone else could raise my child'. I think that's when it started to click for both of us that perhaps our priorities were out of whack; we could live with less money if it meant dh and I being the primary (and really, the *only*) caretakers of our children. (And yes, I realize there are those who either must or choose to do that. I'm just saying for OUR family, this is the right choice.) :iagree: I'd try everything but putting them in school! Another thing...look for ways to save. We never bought furniture for our house..at least for the first 15 years of our marriage. I had everyone else's hand-me-down furniture. They bought new stuff, we got their old sets. I used cloth diapers. I breast-fed my kids. I made my own baby food. We never ate out at restaurants. All of those things add up to extra savings. We do all of that and THEN some! Unless it was a truly desperate situation, probably not. I'm not dedicated to homeschooling as much as I am about being there when they need me. Even if I did put them in ps, I would still stay home. A quote came to my mind from one of my church leaders (CC): He said, "Mothers in Zion, your God-given roles are so vital to your own exaltation and to the salvation and exaltation of your family. A child needs a mother more than all the things money can buy. Spending time with your children is the greatest gift of all. With love in my heart for the mothers in Zion, I would now like to suggest ten specific ways our mothers may spend effective time with their children. "Be at the crossroads. Take time to always be at the crossroads when your children are either coming or going. Be a real friend. Read to your children. Pray with your children. Have weekly home evenings. Be together at mealtimes as often as possible. Read scriptures daily. Do things as a family. Teach your children. Truly love your children." -Ezra T. Benson (emphasis mine) Its just something I believe is important; to just be there "at the crossroads." LOVE this quote! For us, it isn't really about homeschooling, so much as having me at home. We both believe VERY strongly that I should be at home with our children. We've been in extremely dire straits before and although it was near the brink a few times, we somehow by God's grace made it through. DH already works more hours than he is at home most weeks. Right now he is on a 13 day on, 1 day off schedule and works overtime nearly every day. Even still, he would probably go out and get a second job before he would ask me to go to work(and he has worked two jobs during several times in our marriage). Or I would try to find some way of bringing in an income from home. When my oldest was small and I was pregnant with #2, we worked opposite shift jobs for about 6 months. In the end it didn't add to our financial situation much at all to even be considered worth it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
astrid Posted August 10, 2011 Author Share Posted August 10, 2011 We both believe VERY strongly that I should be at home with our children. ..... DH already works more hours than he is at home most weeks. Right now he is on a 13 day on, 1 day off schedule and works overtime nearly every day. It must be hard on him (and the rest of you!) for him to be gone so much; rather like being a single parent, I'd imagine? astrid Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 If I was too disabled to homeschool, I would put kiddo in school. Hubby can't do the schooling. If I was too disabled to work, but could homeschool, yes, we would put hubby back out to work, but we'd probably have to rent out the house and move some place with work for him and a lower cost of living. As long as one of us is healthy enough to work, I cannot see eating up the retirement fund. One of us is statistically likely to live a long time, considering our metabolic health and family history. I am not counting social security as anything but gravy, as we may never get it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5LittleMonkeys Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 Coming into this late and I haven't read all of the responses. My husband traveled for 12 years so that I could be a sahm. He sacrificed being around for our first three dc's young lives. He was only home 4 days a month, his health (physically and mentally) deteriorated. It was extremely hard and in the end we decided that the money wasn't worth it. He got a new job that payed less but we could make it while I still stayed home. Fast forward to three years ago. His insurance went up, we had accumulated some hefty medical and moving expenses, had a car break down which required several thousand dollars to fix or replace, and we started going under. He talked about getting a part time job for weekends and nights. I couldn't let him do it. I couldn't let him miss being a part of his family again, not to mention his job was high stress enough. I could not work during the day...wouldn't work during the day so I started looking for evening and weekend work. There were actually more options than I thought there were going to be. Factory work, cleaning jobs for offices and manufacturers, food industry and retail. I ended up getting a job at Kroger working as a floral designer(something I was trained for and did for a living before having dc) in their floral department, stocking produce part of the time and I would occasionally run a register if they were short a person. I worked from 6 until midnight during the week and 8 hours on Saturday or Sunday. Dh got home everyday at 4 so we could still have dinner all together and I was home one day during the weekend. He and I didn't see a lot of each other but I felt it was more important for the dc to spend as much time with both of us as we could manage. The pay wasn't great but it payed off all of our outstanding debt, fixed the car, put some money into savings and we even had a pretty good Christmas. It was a year well spent and I would do it again in a heartbeat if my family needed me to. I've lived with the guilt of having my husband making all the sacrifices and I didn't like the way it made me feel. I've also done babysitting in the past (something I really, really hate doing) rather than have to feed my family beans and rice every night of the week. I wouldn't put my dc back in ps and I wouldn't put my littles in any kind of babysitting or daycare situation but I know that there are other options out there for me to contribute financially without having to do that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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