Why do you think many people say/think they could never homeschool?

[fairfarmhand]

Have they been brainwashed by the Teacher's unions? Are they under the opinion that it is much harder than it really is? I will say it is not always easy, but it is easier than I thought it would be. The hard part is not necessarily the "school" part; its the personality stuff...getting along with everyone, keeping people on track, getting the chores dones .etc. So why do many think that they can't? Or are they just copping out and making an excuse?

[clarkacademy]

My opinion on my feeling...I had always said that because I really never had that much faith and I believed school and socialization were important, that type of thing. Some people may know they would not have patience as well.

[OnTheBrink]

Reasons I've seen/heard in the past:

 

They believe it takes a special certificate or training to teach children. They don't realize that until that child hits K, they've BEEN teaching them.

 

It's such a foreign concept to them that they truly can't imagine how they could possibly change their lives so much that homeschooling could work.

 

They are in heavy debt, or like luxuries, or are in a place where losing an income would devastate them.

 

They are insecure about their own abilities.

 

They don't really like their kids that much.

[Xuzi]

I think just general ignorance of what it all entails. I know *I* used to say I could "never" homeschool, until I actually started looking into it. And let me tell you it was a real paradigm shift for me! When the only form of "education" you've ever known is the kind that takes place in a classroom, it's hard to imagine what any other form of education could possibly look like! You know exactly how public school goes about getting a student from point A to point B on their educational journey and what the end product (ideally) is. Homeschooling is still so "new" to our society, that knowing how it works and what it intails isn't something that most people have ever thought of or considered. They just have "talking points" (like socialization) that everybody says and nobody understands.

[Jen500]

Homeschooling is a lot of work, like a full time job in itself (for me). I don't think everyone is cut out for the same job.

[angela in ohio]

Some are just being polite and flattering the HSer they are talking to. ("Wow, what a hard job, I'm not sure I could do that!")

 

Some could probably do it, but just don't think they could.

 

Most are probably being realistic. Not everyone can homeschool. I've met many homeschoolers who realized they couldn't homeschool, even, and were honest enough to send their dc to school.

[~Puddins~]

They don't really like their kids that much.

 

I hear this one a lot..not that they come right out and say it in those words, but along the lines of "I just couldn't handle being around my kids all day. They drive me crazy enough during the summer". :confused:

[hsbaby]

I think some of it has to do with plain old ignorance about what homeschooling entails. A lot of my non-hs friends don't seem to realize we have teacher's manuals like the schools day and, thus, wonder how I could possibly know how to teach every subject. I also agree that many just don't think they have the patience and don't want to deal with the kids all day. Soooo many times I see friends of mine bummed where there is a snow day and their kids have to stay home from school. I never can understand their excitement, either, at summers end when all the kids are going back to school.

[lionfamily1999]

The same reason that some people can get a college degree at sixty and others "can't."

[LisaKinVA]

Because... it's hard. It entails a lot of additional sacrifices. They are afraid they will mess it up.

 

I am NOT a "natural mom." Giving birth is the easy part (very easy), it's what to do afterwards that is difficult for me. In fact, if I wasn't convinced to the very core of my being that my children would be missing out on a decent education in the local schools, they would be there.

 

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy being a mother... might enjoy it more if we had a bit more elbow room. But, for me, there is only so much I can really take. Baby screaming, no privacy in the bathroom, 3yo jealous of the baby demanding "me" time, oldest son looking for things he can do instead of his school work, 6yo slyly asking "when are you going upstairs again?" so he can switch to a computer game we THOUGHT he couldn't get to. And the mess! Oh the horror.

 

Okay... done now.

[Heidi @ Mt Hope]

Some (most) people have their days already very full and can't imagine adding hours of schooling into their schedule. I imagine that some people have no interest in teaching the actual subjects (often the passion for learning comes with teaching, especially your own children, but isn't necessarily present before that).

 

My sister and her oldest daughter had a personality conflict. They were constantly butting heads and at a young age the daughter thought her mom didn't know anything. My sister didn't really want to deal with that all day when her daughter was compliant for her school teachers. After several years of private school for her kids, she found a passion for education and pulled her kids out. They are finishing up year #4, and the change in *my sister* has been amazing. She lights up when talking about history and literature. She has found a passion for learning in her own life that she never had before. I actually don't think it would have been a good idea for my sister to homeschool before she was ready, particularly if she did it simply because she thought she *should.*

[nono]

The same reason that some people can get a college degree at sixty and others "can't."

 

Yep. People also say to me they "can't run to the corner" when they find out I run. Yeah, unless you don't have legs, you can. I think people often say "can't" when they mean "don't want to do so."

[delaney]

My friend summed it up when she said to me, "Do you realize you have chained yourself to the house for the next 18 years?"

Ladies check your ankles because I don't see a chain on mine!

[Dawn in OH]

They have been brainwashed to believe that all children belong in school.

They think it's not legal.

They think it's for crazy religious extremists.

They think it's for people with "ill" or "disabled" children.

They think you need certification.

They really don't want to spend that much time with their children.

They don't have the patience.

They think it's for backward, anti-social, nerdy, hermit types.

They are selfish or self absorbed.

They believe homeschoolers lack social skills/socialization.

They think they aren't qualified.

 

I've seen or heard pretty much ALL of these reasons either on a forum, a newspaper article, or heard it straight from someone's mouth.

[Tiff in TX]

Most of my friends are happy with the status quo. They figure that if they went to public/private school and went on to college, then their kids will too. These are also parents who are still involved heavily in their child's education.

 

I have another friend who said that she and her husband decided that the public schools need religous/Christian kids in them. She was a teacher before she had her first child... she has three now and stays at home with two while the oldest goes to kindy.

[skaterbabs]

I hear this one a lot..not that they come right out and say it in those words, but along the lines of "I just couldn't handle being around my kids all day. They drive me crazy enough during the summer". :confused:

 

Loving one's children (for that matter, loving ANYONE) doesn't mean one LIKES them. Some children are easy, or at least, relatively so - others notsomuch.

 

I adore all three of my children, but my eldest drives me absolutely batty. Homeschooling him was a last ditch choice because we couldn't afford private school. He's always been an unbelievably exhausting and difficult child, from the time he could walk and talk. (On his first birthday he was walking and speaking complete 3-5 word sentences. By 18 months he had defeated every lock and baby gate we could find, AND was using a broom to pop the chain on the front door.) He's almost 14 now, and we CONSTANTLY butt heads.

 

My middle child is challenging, but doesn't drive me nuts like his brother does.

 

My youngest child is a trip - but she and I have a LOT in common, and I can typically make her think what I want her to do was her idea to begin with.

 

I have to have completely different ways of dealing with each one of them; of them, my middle child would be the "easy" one despite his autism. DS #1 also is on the spectrum, but it presents differently with him.

 

Before you start judging someone who doesn't like their kids, remember that there are often circumstances in which there are basic personality conflicts involved that you just aren't aware of. My eldest presents very well to other people -polite, well mannered, even kind. He can be a real jerk to us.

[Tess in the Burbs]

They don't really like their kids that much.

 

 

I think it's this more often than not.

[Gratia271]

It is possible that they realize that this type of job is not about them, and they want life to be about themselves. The job of parenting and hschooling our children means that most of our life is about something and someone beside ourselves. I have had friends from law school tell me they cannot believe I gave up law for this. There are associated costs that some people have the wisdom to realize they are not willing to pay. Honestly, their kids are better off ... Self-knowledge is a good thing for everyone, and homeschooling or even being at home with children is not for everyone. I personally wouldn't trade it for anything.

[Heather in WI]

Homeschooling is a lot of work, like a full time job in itself (for me). I don't think everyone is cut out for the same job.

 

Most are probably being realistic. Not everyone can homeschool. I've met many homeschoolers who realized they couldn't homeschool, even, and were honest enough to send their dc to school.

 

:iagree:

[Cammie]

I think just general ignorance of what it all entails. I know *I* used to say I could "never" homeschool, until I actually started looking into it. And let me tell you it was a real paradigm shift for me!

 

:iagree: I also used to say I could NEVER homeschool - until I actually started thinking about it. And then I was hooked! For me I thought the loss of freedom in my day would do me in. I also thought it would be TOO much time with my kids and that I simply wouldn't be able to handle it!

[LauraGB]

They don't really like their kids that much.

 

I think more often than not what comes across seeming like this is actually difficulty combining the roles of parent and educator. It is a lot easier to be a fun mom or dad than it is once you add in academics. It's a lot easier to see jr. coming home from school and sharing what he learned before the parent heads off to jr.'s soccer game followed by a trip to the ice cream shop than it is teaching jr. those same academics and then heading off to soccer. I think it is safe and comfortable for those parents to have the time away from thier child to maintain the role as "parent".

 

At least, that's what I like to think I've noticed.

[jujsky]

1. They think you're nuts, and it's a nice way of saying so.

 

2. They legitimately lack the self-confidence to do it. They either think it's harder than it is, or they lack patience with their children.

 

3. They buy into the idea that you need a teaching degree in order to teach, and believe that they don't know how to teach.

[titianmom]

The folks I've talked to simply want a life outside the home, and see homeschooling as a step backwards for them.

 

I had a professional job and made very good money. I realized while mine was a toddler that I wanted a life with her, more. I started teaching her to read at 4 and I've been here with her ever since. I find homeschooling more rewarding than earning a big salary, most of the time, ha! (Hate looking for curriculum for the upcoming year and some of the teenager issues, but that's life.)

 

Kim

[Surlygirlie]

I think it depends on how you take what the speaker is really saying. Do you read the statement, "I could never homeschool" as the speaker really having an honest assessment that they really could not literally do it (for whatever reasons--time committment, patience level, so on)?

 

OR do you hear the statement "I could never homeschool" and think that what is left unspoken is the intention that you (as a homeschooler) are part of some craziness and are somehow lacking all your faculties to persue such an endeavor?

 

I've certainly come across both perspectives in my 7 plus years experience. Either they are in awe or they think you are crazy. Or both. :lol:

[StartingOver]

Because if you do it correctly it is like a full time job. In my house learning never stops ;-).

 

My husband often says he has no desire to trade with me LOL.

[lulubelle]

I know several women that are stay at home mothers and their children are going to public school. I can see, after giving up of themselves for several years and dealing with poopy diapers and long sleepless nights and the difficulty of the preschool years, that they "deserve" their "me" time. It is much too difficult for them to be responsible 24/7 for their children. Outside school is a much needed relief for them. They begin to go to the gym every morning, begin re-decorating their houses, and shop. It is a freedom they feel they deserve. Sometimes I feel somewhat jealous of that, but I know that what I am creating in my family is much bigger and they cannot even comprehend it.

[myfunnybunch]

Because they don't have a picture in their head of what homeschooling is like. When they think of "school," they picture a classroom led by a teacher with an education degree and a brightly colored bulletin board and rows of children and an overhead projector. They picture a need for some specialized knowledge in order to teach science or math or writing.

 

Cat

[Mejane]

My reason was that I didn't think I had the patience. My homeschooling mentor, my saintly neighbor, never raised her voice. There was no way I was going to pull that off! My friend's reason is she doesn't think she can teach her 7yo to write in cursive. Yes, I think they are excuses. As I say to everyone who asks, if I can do it, so can you. :D

 

I think people assume they have to duplicate school - the same subjects using the same curricula in the same sequence for the same amount of hours while arranging the same social activities... in order for their kids to be happy and successful. I can see where that would be quite intimidating, and had I tried to do that, I would be miserable as would my kids.

[Melinda in VT]

I also agree that many just don't think they have the patience and don't want to deal with the kids all day. Soooo many times I see friends of mine bummed where there is a snow day and their kids have to stay home from school. I never can understand their excitement, either, at summers end when all the kids are going back to school.

 

Well, to be fair, there are a lot of posts here 'round about July and August with parents who can't wait to get back to the routine because the kids are driving them crazy.

 

My kids are in ps now, and I know that vacations and summers and snow days require new routines for us. If I don't put the routines in place, we will end up driving each other crazy. (Some of the mix is that I work from home and don't get all the days off that they do.) I learned many of those routines from the year I spent homeschooling and from homeschooling resources.

 

I don't think excitement for the start of school is an indication that the parents don't like or love their kids. I think it's an indication that having the family home together all day takes a different set of skills and routines than being apart all day requires, and it's easy to be daunted by a set of skills you haven't yet acquired.

[C_l_e_0..Q_c]

I was brainwashed (by society, I guess) into thinking only professionals could raise kids. In fact, when I was pregnant with my second, I started looking for daycare for my first, because I could not see myself at home with two kids to deal with.

My first went to daycare for 18 months (minus a few weeks). It was a horrible experience. I suspected before he went that he was probably Asperger. Daycare showed us that he was. He went from a quiet child to a tantrum child within one week. At that time we would spend 8 weeks of wintertime in Florida (some here may recall "Cleo Qc now in FL"). After 1 week in Florida, of being home with us, my quiet child was back. The second winter I clued in. It could not have been a fluke.

 

I vividly remember going to my mother and ask her advice. Could *I* be responsible for two kids at home? Would I be able to raise them properly? Would I know what to do? She laughed at me, pointed out that my grandma had 10 kids, and no daycare. That women have raised kids 'from scratch' from the start of time. And that she would be there to help and pass on wisdom when needed... And my first born never went back into "the system"

[OnTheBrink]

I think the key element is desire. I think anyone can home school IF they have the real desire to do so. If its important enough, you can do it, even if it's only to a small degree (such as afterschooling, or beforeschooling, or weekendschooling).

 

I think many say they can't when they mean they don't want to.

[JudoMom]

I hear this one a lot..not that they come right out and say it in those words, but along the lines of "I just couldn't handle being around my kids all day. They drive me crazy enough during the summer". :confused:

 

This one used to bug me as well, until I realized something. My kids drive me crazy when we're on vacation too long. When we don't have the structure of schooling (even if it's light in the summer), then they start to occupy themselves in ways that can drive me nuts. If all I had to go on was how our days are when we take an extended period off of school, I might think I couldn't homeschool.

[Penelope]

Yep. People also say to me they "can't run to the corner" when they find out I run. Yeah, unless you don't have legs, you can. I think people often say "can't" when they mean "don't want to do so."

 

Well, there ARE physical issues that make some people unable to run very far. Even some that wouldn't be immediately obvious to you. Have a few more children or having previous joint issues and erm, you might find out what I mean.

 

But I mostly agree that MOST people when they say that don't want to work up the stamina for running.

 

The same is true for homeschooling. There are some people that realistically can not --single mothers, parents with chronic and severe illnesses, illiterate parents, or disabilities that they don't feel they can overcome sufficiently to do the job.

 

Most people probably never thought of it or just don't want to. But to say everyone can if they wanted to, might be overstating things.

[krisperry]

And she watches the kids and helps them with their work a couple times a month. Everytime I get back from my appointment(s), she says "I couldn't do this". I typically respond "yes, you could" Cause she just did right :tongue_smilie:

 

This last time, she responded:

"No I couldn't. What is the upside-down e? I don't know what that is? And that is FIRST grade?. Nope, I couldn't homeschool them all - I'm not smart enough. Are they going to wait for me to learn it all first. No problem, they will only be 18 and in the first grade by the time we get started" :lol:

 

*she was dripping sarcasm btw*

[Mrs Mungo]

Why do you think many people say/think they could never homeschool?

 

Because they don't want to. It's easier to think that they can't.

[Mom-ninja.]

I hear this one a lot..not that they come right out and say it in those words, but along the lines of "I just couldn't handle being around my kids all day. They drive me crazy enough during the summer". :confused:

 

I have had a few people tell me straight that they don't like their children. It seems they are telling me the truth when I see the interaction.

 

A friend of mine says if one can parent children then one can home school. I've seen people who do not want to parent, and they know they should not home school. It's not for everyone for sure.

[Night Elf]

I don't think everyone can or should homeschool. And it's not easy really. I definitely find it rewarding but I personally wouldn't call any part of the past 9 years of my homeschooling easy. My dd17 was in school until age 16. My ds13 started homeschooling when I pulled him out of Kindergarten. My dd12 has tried school several times. I'm well aware of what having kids in school is like, and that isn't easy either. But sometimes one just makes more sense, and even that isn't written in stone for everyone.

[KidsHappen]

There are as many different reasons as there are people who say it but let's be honest, it's not easy and sometimes it takes the patience of a saint. Not everyone is up to the task or even wants to try.

[Snickerdoodle]

I think a lot of women feel unjustified staying home all day and not earning a paycheck.

[gaillardia]

I think it's this more often than not.

:iagree:

And also think they are, like someone else said, chaining themselves to the house and family, as if they consider it something to be suffered. And that's okay too, I guess it just means it is not so much for them or what they would seek for themselves or their children.

Some people think we are immitating public school in our homes, or if we are homeschooling that we must re-create public school in our homes.

The socialization issue is always at the front as if we all stay closed up in our homes always and thus the "my kids would drive me crazy" response.

[LibraryLover]

Because it's not for everyone or every situtation.

[elegantlion]

I think they say it because they're probably right. Could they learn? Probably. Could they learn to love it? Maybe. They might not have the time or energy to invest into homeschooling.

 

I could probably learn to skydive or hanglide, but I have no desire to invest the time and effort, nor the money, to learn how. So I can imagine myself saying, "I could never do that" and mean it.

[Rosie_0801]

I think a lot of people have inconsistent beliefs. My sister thinks the education system sucks, but still asks what I will do if the kids get ahead of me, as though that doesn't happen in school.

 

"Well, I have a curriculum to follow. I am studying myself, but if they overtake me, hubby is here. If they overtake hubby, we'll find someone else. If we can't find someone else, they'll have to do without just like everyone else."

 

Rosie

[Guest Cindie2dds]

Because they don't want to. It's easier to think that they can't.

 

I agree. There are so many people who tell me they couldn't do it. They don't want to, and that's okay. It's not for every family. Not everyone should.

[Garga]

I think a lot of people think they don't like being with their kids because they're only with them when the kids are tired (after a long day at school), or when there are stretches of unstructured time.

 

My kids aren't a lot of fun to be with when we aren't doing something structured. They start picking on each other or whining about being "boooored" or something.

 

So, if I thought that homeschooling was just staying home with the kids picking on each other and whining non-stop all day, I'd probably say I couldn't homeschool either.

 

We all know that if you get them doing something constructive that the day goes by much smoother and everyone is happier. Not everyone knows that.

[Carol in Cal.]

So why do many think that they can't? Or are they just copping out and making an excuse?

 

Several credible ones have been mentioned already.

In my experience, there is another one as well--people think that homeschooling is like helping kids with homework. Little do they know, there is no comparison. Getting all cozy with a child in their best part of the day and conveying a new skill is SO much easier than taking a grumpy, tired, hungry, frazzled child at their worst time of the day and trying to walk them through recalling what they were supposed to learn and do and then getting them to do it. It's like night and day, and those who never homeschool do not realize this.

[ElizabethB]

I used to wonder, too...then, I tried to teach my daughter cursive and totally understood.

 

(Must teach from white board, not in little tiny book, BTW.)

 

Also, when I help people with their children who were taught too many sight words in school, I always try to teach their Mom or Dad (99.99% of the time it is mom) how to teach their child first, doing the teaching for a bit but showing Mom what to do and say and how to make positive corrections when guessing occurs. Most people can teach with coaching, but a few genuinely can't, and a few can't do it without yelling, I teach their children for them if this is the case or if they don't have the time or energy (single moms, military moms with husbands deployed, etc.)

 

Also, it's a lot easier to teach someone when they have not just spent 8 hours in school, their brains are tired by then and it's a lot harder to get any more information in.

[Audrey]

Reasons I've seen/heard in the past:

 

They believe it takes a special certificate or training to teach children. They don't realize that until that child hits K, they've BEEN teaching them.

 

It's such a foreign concept to them that they truly can't imagine how they could possibly change their lives so much that homeschooling could work.

 

They are in heavy debt, or like luxuries, or are in a place where losing an income would devastate them.

 

They are insecure about their own abilities.

 

They don't really like their kids that much.

 

 

I would agree with all of that, but add that a lot of people I've run into who oppose homeschooling don't really have any real idea of what homeschooling actually entails. I think those people are opposed to it because they fear what they don't understand.

[KidsHappen]

Getting all cozy with a child in their best part of the day and conveying a new skill is SO much easier than taking a grumpy, tired, hungry, frazzled child at their worst time of the day and trying to walk them through recalling what they were supposed to learn and do and then getting them to do it. It's like night and day, and those who never homeschool do not realize this.

 

:iagree: Absolutely. My youngest two are in PS and homework is much harder than actually teaching it myself.

[Sahamamama]

Reasons I've seen/heard in the past:

 

They believe it takes a special certificate or training to teach children. They don't realize that until that child hits K, they've BEEN teaching them.

 

It's such a foreign concept to them that they truly can't imagine how they could possibly change their lives so much that homeschooling could work.

 

They are in heavy debt, or like luxuries, or are in a place where losing an income would devastate them.

 

They are insecure about their own abilities.

 

They don't really like their kids that much.

 

:iagree: Thanks, Michelle, you just saved me five minutes of typing. :D