Brutal honesty time: Is this weird?

[Deece in MN]

My sister asked about our Christmas morning and my dd was telling her what she got from "Santa" (we sign the tags from Santa, she knows it is from us though). She also mentioned what Lucky received. Lucky is her favorite stuffed animal. Lucky has been in the family for a number of years and she is very important to my dd. My dd had put out a stocking for Lucky so I bought a few things to put in it (True to Life colored pencils, drawing pad and some stickers). When my sister heard this she could not believe that I would buy stuff for a stuffed animal. She thought it was really weird.

 

Now, just so you know, my dd did not put out the stocking just so she could get extra stuff, she wanted Lucky to get something from Santa and have a nice Christmas. Also, my dd is 12.5 yo. My sister thinks I am babying her by allowing her to have a stuffed animal that is important to her at this age (my sister just had her first baby a few months ago, so I take her opinion with a grain of salt :) ).

 

Anyway, honestly, is it weird that I bought stocking stuffers for my dd stuffed animal? And is it weird that she still has one (well, really, she has lots of them and quite a number of them are important to her, but Lucky is the most important) at this age?

Edited December 28, 2008 by Deece in MN

[Mesa]

It really doenst matter what anyone else thinks as long as you and your dd are fine with it. Dont let what your sister said bother you.

[Unicorn.]

My 10 yo dd hung stockings for all 7 of our pets. (she does believe in Santa, but knew "He" wouldn't fill them, so she did). I obviously don't think it's weird. I think they are sweet, innocent little girls w/ big hearts and a lot of love to go around. Even for inanimate objects!

[dragons in the flower bed]

Anyway, honestly, is it weird that I bought stocking stuffers for my dd stuffed animal? And is it weird that she still has one (well, really, she has lots of them and quite a number of them are important to her, but Lucky is the most important) at this age?

 

No, that's not weird. Girls across time and continents have played with dolls to age 12, 13, 14, and beyond. I still have the teddy bear that was my special friend, and my partner still has his, too. We don't play with them, but they have a place of honor in our bedroom. My brother had a stuffed dinosaur. From the way you describe Lucky, I suspect she is just like my sister's Lisa, a stuffed dog she's had since she was two. My sister is 10 and just entered Catholic school, and my mom bought a uniform for Lisa, too. Lisa gets presents on the holidays and they make her a cake on her birthday. It sounds like your daughter is sweet and innocent and likes to pretend, and all of those are good things.

[emeraldjoy]

Yes absolutely wierd....I LOVE wierd though.

I hope she never, ever grows out of it....Ever!!!

In a world such as ours, it is quite refreshing to read a story such as yours: A little girl unafraid to be the little girl she is suppose to be. She has all the time in the world to move into the more mature aspects of living.

Good job letting her just be her...

emerald

[Deece in MN]

I have to give you all a hug! :grouphug:

Thank you for the supportive responses. I truly am ok with her having Lucky and how important Lucky is to her. I guess I was wondering if I odd in my thinking on this though. I wasn't overly surprised at my sister's reaction, but it did cause me to pause and think about it a bit.

 

I have a quick Lucky story to share. We were playing Gray Matter (a trivia type game) a few weeks ago and my dd and I were partners and ds and dh were partners. We had a question that we weren't sure about so my dd says, "I'll ask Lucky!". So she read Lucky the question and then confidently stated the answer that Lucky gave. It was correct. My dh just thought it was a "lucky" guess and we continued the game. Well, this happened 2 more times! My dh was starting to get weirded out and my ds kept saying that Lucky couldn't answer anymore questions. We ended up winning the game. :)

[Renthead Mommy]

Nope, not weird.

 

When we had pets (dog/cat type, not the spiders or crabs or slugs of current days) we always hung stockings for them and they got treats and bones and all sorts of thing.

 

Here's a good one for you. I had to go to a cookie exchange. I made home made gingerbread men and decorated them beautifully with a piping bag and all. I left the on the counter for the icing to crust over so they would stack okay to travel. Meanwhile, I went out to finish my Christmas errands.

 

Came home, while talking to my mom on the cell phone and said "what's this wax paper on the floor?" Only then did I notice the ONE! 1! Singular! As in missing the 35! gingerbread man that had slid under the microwave!

 

My brother's rot, who had been living with us decided to offer himself, the other dog and the cat a pre christmas dessert buffet! And to add insult to injury - they did it while I was at Pet Smart spending around $50 on them!!

 

And yes, I got over it and caved and gave them all their goodies in their stockings anyway! I was a sucker for those big puppy dog eyes!

[Kris]

It's not any more weird than telling kids a strange guy comes into the house once a year and leaves goodies! :lol:

 

I think it sounds fun! I was wondering how old your daughter is, but that really doesn't matter. I think it sounds fabulous.

[Ellie]

Wish I'd thought of it when my dds were little :-)

 

Clearly you have far more imagination than your sister. So does your dd. I have read that imagination is a sign of intelligence. I'm just sayin'....:D

 

I gave my younger dd a pot-belly koala one year for Christmas. She named it Cookie. She still has Cookie, almost 30 years later. She still *sleeps* with Cookie. So do I think it's strange that a 12½ wants a stocking for her favorite stuffed toy? Uh...nope.

[WTMindy]

I vote not weird. I vote sweet.

[Night Elf]

No, it isn't weird. I think it's sweet. It reminds me of my oldest daughter's stepmom. She harrassed my dd at that same age for still liking Eeyore and Winnie the Pooh. Honestly, when I look at my dd and her stepsister who is the same age, I think my kid is the more normal!

[The Girls' Mom]

If it's wierd, then my dd's are wierd too..lol! My 12 year old dd still has her baby doll from two...makes things for her, and makes sure she's laying in her doll bed when not played with. My 8yr old has the most ratty looking cat that goes EVERYWHERE with her, and asked for gifts for her on her 'list'..lol.

 

I think kids grow up too fast anyway...it's sweet when they want to hang on to childhood a little longer.

 

(btw, I have a dear friend who's in her 30's and married, who last I heard STILL slept with her teddy bear! )

[JudoMom]

I have a quick Lucky story to share. We were playing Gray Matter (a trivia type game) a few weeks ago and my dd and I were partners and ds and dh were partners. We had a question that we weren't sure about so my dd says, "I'll ask Lucky!". So she read Lucky the question and then confidently stated the answer that Lucky gave. It was correct. My dh just thought it was a "lucky" guess and we continued the game. Well, this happened 2 more times! My dh was starting to get weirded out and my ds kept saying that Lucky couldn't answer anymore questions. We ended up winning the game. :)

 

:smilielol5:

[Nestof3]

Since you asked -- and only since you asked. I do find 12.5 to be a little old for buying toys for a favorite stuffed animal and putting them into a stocking. But, I don't know your daughter -- I'm just thinking about the maturity level of the only one of my kids to reach that age.

 

Now, holding onto a special stuffed animal to me is just holding onto memories and probably you in some way (if you gave it to her). I knew a guy in college who still slept with his stuffed animal from infancy. He was totally normal. ;)

 

In the long run, I don't think any of it really matters, and I surely wouldn't worry about it. Would I call you weird or say anything to you as your sister did? No way. I'm sure you know your daughter far better than I do. :)

Edited December 28, 2008 by nestof3

[BlueGator]

I want my 9 year old ds to be a child during his childhood. Adulthood and reality will come soon enough. :)

 

I think when the anti-homeschool crowd means socialization, they mean taking a child's innocence and imagination. I want my son to feel safe to dream and play for a few more years.

 

Tell Lucky I said Hi! :D

[Mad Jenny Flint]

This is not, I am assuming, a detachment from reality that she is showing, but a sweet little pretend that she engages in. My niece played with American Girl dolls until she was a teen. She is a girl who knows herself and what she wants to be. She doesn't bend to peer pressure, as far as I can tell. She will be 16 in January. I am really proud of her and glad that she was allowed to be a little girl. My daughter is nearing 10 and wants to expand her doll/stuffed animal collection endlessly. They are, each and every one, her babies. I hope she will always have a special place in her heart for one or a few of them, even as she approaches adolescence. It doesn't have to do with maturity. It has to do with imagination and creativity.

[elegantlion]

I think it sounds like a wonderful tradition. It probably makes her feel special because you value what is important to her.

 

Granted this comes from a woman who just got a 3 ft stuffed wolf for Christmas. It was my best surprise.

[Guest Alte Veste Academy]

I want my 9 year old ds to be a child during his childhood. Adulthood and reality will come soon enough. :)

 

I think when the anti-homeschool crowd means socialization, they mean taking a child's innocence and imagination. I want my son to feel safe to dream and play for a few more years.

 

Tell Lucky I said Hi! :D

 

I couldn't agree with this more! Well said!

 

Also, not that your sister is anti-homeschool because I don't know, but I think most people feel that homeschoolers are shielding their kids from the real ways of the world. Well, darn right! I'm shielding my kids from the mentality that it's uncool or unusual to use your imagination, read books for pleasure, be friends with your siblings... If they can approach adulthood with these principles intact, I will have done my job.

 

I hope my kids are still kids when they're your daughter's age! The word tween makes me shudder. Today's tweens were yesterday's children.

 

Kristina

[cin]

My 8yr old has the most ratty looking cat that goes EVERYWHERE with her, and asked for gifts for her on her 'list'..lol.

 

 

 

 

I can see this with my 4 yr old who is SO devoted to her 4 kitties. SHe asked Santa for sleeping bags for her *9* stuffed animals that she sleeps with (they dont' all fit under teh covers!) And I will let her enjoy, I will REVEL in her innocence and sensitivity.

[Kari C in SC]

We have "Puppy" at our house. My dd got this stuffed dog for her 5th birthday. She has carried her with her every day and every place for 5 years. At times, I start to think the darn this is a real member of the family! LOL! Seriously, all of our friends know Puppy as if she were real. I think it was sweet of you to do this for your dd and you shouldn't worry about what anyone else thinks. Your dd will be grown up soon enough and these days will be gone. My dd got a REAL puppy back in October. It is a small yorkie and for awhile, Puppy lost her luster to holding the real puppy. Soon enough though, Puppy was back in her arms. I will be sad to see the day Puppy stays left in her bedroom.

[melissel]

...(my sister just had her first baby a few months ago, so I take her opinion with a grain of salt :) ).

 

I think you have your answer right here :D I bet we all had lots of opinions about parenting before we had kids, or before we had kids of a certain age. I know I sure as heck did.

 

Anyway, I think your daughter's affection for Lucky and your fun accommodation are very sweet, and I wouldn't care what anyone else thinks. Don't worry about it. Your sister will learn what most moms already know. "Judge not, lest you end up with a child with the exact same quirks."

[Jean in Newcastle]

Kids grow up too soon now a days. I think you are lucky to have a such a sweet girl.

[Crissy]

Dolls and stuffed animals are so important to some children, even into their adulthood.

My uncle- a big, tough guy, Marine (who served three tours in Vietnam), a logger- still has his boyhood teddy bear perched on top of his pillows every day.

My son has a dresser-top full of stuffed pigs. Each one has a name and, according to Hunter, a distinct personality. :) They occasionally join us for a board game or a movie, and there are always five or six in his bed at night.

 

I see absolutely no harm in allowing this 'friendship' between your daughter and Lucky. I think it is very sweet.

[Colleen]

I agree with all that Dawn said. Okay, actually, I'll go a step farther and say I do think it's weird ~ again, just since you asked. But...so what? What matters is that you're comfortable with it and after all, it's just a simple pleasure, harmless fun.

[Joanne]

Since you asked -- and only since you asked. I do find 12.5 to be a little old for buying toys for a favorite stuffed animal and putting them into a stocking. But, I don't know your daughter -- I'm just thinking about the maturity level of the only one of my kids to reach that age.

 

Now, holding onto a special stuffed animal to me is just holding onto memories and probably you in some way (if you gave it to her). I knew a guy in college who still slept with his stuffed animal from infancy. He was totally normal. ;)

 

In the long run, I don't think any of it really matters, and I surely wouldn't worry about it. Would I call you weird or say anything to you as your sister did? No way. I'm sure you know your daughter far better than I do. :)

 

:iagree:

 

My 13 year old son still sleeps with and is connected to a bear he's had. I think the personification of the stuffed animal at your dd's age is outside of developmental norm Maybe cultural norm; but 12 year olds until recently were expected to carry a lot of mature responsibility.

[Tammy]

Well...those things you bought....aren't really for a 'dog'....right? So in actuality...you DID buy them for your daughter..? What was she thinking her stuffed dog should receive? Yes...I think she is a bit old for that...but like others said....who cares what we think, LOL!

[Scuff]

My 4yo is like that with "Ike" her little horse. I can easily see it when she's 12. She's just a fun-loving little girl. I had a few stuffed animals I carried around with me when I was 14. I just knew my time was short, that soon I'd be an adult, so I had fun with them while I still could. She's not an adult yet, and she will be soon enough, let her have her fun. I'm sure she knows it's not "real" right? So what's the harm.

[abbeyej]

I think it's a little odd. Not wrong. But a little odd. ;) I certainly think she's plenty old to fill Lucky's stocking herself though. I wouldn't do that *for* a 12yo.

[Stacia]

I obviously don't think it's weird. I think they are sweet, innocent little girls w/ big hearts and a lot of love to go around. Even for inanimate objects!

 

Agreeing with this & emeraldjoy's response. :001_smile:

[Mama Lynx]

I think it's a little odd. Not wrong. But a little odd. ;) I certainly think she's plenty old to fill Lucky's stocking herself though. I wouldn't do that *for* a 12yo.

 

Same here. I have all boys, though, so maybe that makes a difference. I'd probably tell my 12 year old that it was his job to play Santa for his friend.

 

But I think it's perfectly fine, and you should take your sister with a huge grain of salt ;-) I still had imaginary friends at 12; I don't think I *talked* about them to anyone, and I didn't personify them in a stuffed animal, but I had them, definitely.

[Anne]

One of my dds took several of her favorite stuffed animals, including one which needed its own box (large!) to college!! She never had a stocking for a stuffed animal but that was because there were too many stockings out for her living animals!!:D

 

My dd is a normal (reasonably so, anyway!) young woman and yours will be, too!!

 

Anne

[Only me]

I still love stuffed animals and I'm not a kid anymore:) In fact when we went downtown last week and stopped at the Hershey chocolate store I bought a stuffed animal for myself as a souvenir. We love stuffed animals in this house. All three of my kids (16, 13 and 10) still have several of them. I usually end up getting one or two a year from the kids for some occasion.

[Michelle T]

There are certainly weirder things in the world, and this is harmless.

Michelle T

[tibbyl]

Brutal honesty time: Is this weird?

 

It is not weird that she maintains a collection of treasured stuffed animals, but I would expect her interest to wane soon.

 

Yes, the rationalist in me definitely finds it weird to purchase new Christmas gifts so that an inanimate object will not be excluded from the celebration. But it is a harmless oddity so I certainly would not have any concerns.

 

And I'd diplomatically tell relative to mind her own business.

Edited December 28, 2008 by tibbyl

[Erica in PA]

I think it's a little odd. Not wrong. But a little odd. ;) I certainly think she's plenty old to fill Lucky's stocking herself though. I wouldn't do that *for* a 12yo.

 

:iagree:

[jamnkats]

I vote not weird. I vote sweet.

 

:iagree:

 

and I think it is super sweet of you to fill a stocking for Lucky. That is the true Christmas spirit.

[Tree House Academy]

I also think it is a bit odd...and I say this both because I have boys and can't imagine them doing that AND that she is 12.

 

I think it was sweet of you to indulge her and she obviously has a good heart to think of her stuffed animal, but I do not think of a stuffed animal and a real animal as the same thing. I know some people here talked about kids wanting to do that for an animal..but the animal is alive. I actually hang a stocking for my dog and fill it with rawhides myself.

 

I would say it was more of something that I would expect (as normal) from a 7-8 year old child and not a 12 year old. It reminds me very much of something my 5 year old would want to do because he LOVES his stuffed animals and carries one particular one with him at all times. My oldest son did this too, but by about age 7, he stopped.

[OnTheBrink]

I want my 9 year old ds to be a child during his childhood. Adulthood and reality will come soon enough. :)

 

I think when the anti-homeschool crowd means socialization, they mean taking a child's innocence and imagination. I want my son to feel safe to dream and play for a few more years.

 

Tell Lucky I said Hi! :D

 

:iagree:

 

My dd (who's almost 11) has a stuffed dog the vet gave her when our beagle died. This little doggie goes with her everywhere and yesterday, had a birthday party. I say it's just fine.

[kewb]

I don't think it is weird. I think it is sweet. Of course, I still have my first Teddy Bear-Theodora. I let my dd keep her in her room and she takes care of her. Dd lets me visit whenever I want.

[Karenciavo]

I agree with all that Dawn said. Okay, actually, I'll go a step farther and say I do think it's weird ~ again, just since you asked. But...so what? What matters is that you're comfortable with it and after all, it's just a simple pleasure, harmless fun.

 

I'm with Dawn, Colleen, Stephanie, Abbey, Erica, Tammy, Rebecca, et al.

[Jennifer3141]

I think it's really sweet and not the least bit weird.

 

Jen

[happyWImom]

I think it's great. She should be a child for as long as she can, and obviously Lucky and her other animals are a comfort to her. My dd is the same. In a posting I had last night, I was telling how I took dd's Arthur away, and she kept asking me why I was taking it out on him, why was I punishing him? Also, he thought I was "stinky".

[Murphy101]

Colleen

I agree with all that Dawn said. Okay, actually, I'll go a step farther and say I do think it's weird ~ again, just since you asked. But...so what?

 

:iagree:

[newbie]

Not weird. I thought this yr. dd's were done w/dolls and stuffed animals. There were none on the list.

 

But, I did buy adoption for wolves for oldest and it comes w/stuffed wolf. She is 14 and been carrying around that wolf for two days. I think its adorable.

[BeachGirl]

Not weird at all. My dd is almost 16 and still has tons of stuffed animals. She insists at least three keep Mom company in my bed at night. I don't mind. I just recently sewed up the seams in my teddy bear. My grandmother sent that bear from Sweden when I was adopted. He is too fragile now to do anything but display but he is a part of the family.

 

Maybe your sister will understand when her children get a bit older.:001_smile:

[5Youngs]

You'd have to be a very caring and loving mom to do that for your daughter~

 

If someone in my family DOESN'T tell me that what I am doing at any particular time is wierd, I begin to wonder what I am doing wrong......;)

Edited December 28, 2008 by 5Youngs
spelling

[Daisy]

I don't think it's weird. My 9.5yo made a dress for her American Girl, Molly. She wrapped it up and put it under the tree. It's just for fun.

[Deece in MN]

I apologize for not replying to individual posts, but it would take me all night to do so. :)

 

I do appreciate all the responses. I can see where some would think it is weird. I hadn't really thought much about it until my sister's reaction which is why I thought I would ask. I am not going to do anything about the stuffies (that is what we call stuffed animals here) because I don't think I should, but I was curious if others had the same opinion as my sister. I do appreciate the responses from those of you who said it is weird. :)

 

I think her stuffies are important to her because she has a real love for animals. Two years in a row we have adopted an animal through the National Zoo in her name because that was on her Christmas list (last year was a panda, this year was a cheetah). We are going to visit our local animal shelter to ask about volunteer opportunities as she has asked about helping there (we got our dog there). I am working on ways to encourage her love for animals and translate that into the real world. I do think this may be a career direction for her.

 

Anyway, thanks for the stories that have been shared. I have enjoyed reading this thread!

[Karenciavo]

Deecee, you've been around here for a while. I think if you look at those of us who think it's weird you may find a wee bit of a common thread that runs through us all. Perhaps it's the same with your sister.

[mcconnellboys]

My younger son received a stuffed bear for his first Christmas when he was nine months old. For some reason, of all the gifts he received that day, he smiled a welcoming smile to that brown bear, hugged him, and never looked back. Brown Bear has been a treasured member of the family for many years.

 

When this child was about 3, he insisted on lugging Brown Bear all over the Disney property with him. He left him on the Buzz Lightyear ride. My HUSBAND was in tears, even, over the distress of his discovering his loss. We had to stand in the line and scan every car as they came back in until we found him, fallen into the floorboards, and rescued him.

 

Brown Bear is bedraggled and faded - and perhaps just short of becoming real as the Velveteen Bunny. He goes with us everywhere, and maids have honored him in every hotel in which we've stayed, propping him up in a place of honor and posing him. It's very clear to see that he's something special - just as is your daughter's Lucky. What could be weird about that?

 

Learning to empathize, learning to love, learning to share and care for another are all important milestones that some children achieve, at least partially, through modeling with stuffed animals or other imaginary friends. I don't think it's "babying" those children to honor their way of coping with the world and learning about it.