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So I'm 44.5 years old and this morning I peed on a stick ...

Momto6inIN

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Momto6inIN

Momto6inIN

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...and there was a "+" sign.

I am not ready to tell anybody in real life about this (other than DH obviously) and even if I did I wouldn't get the info I need because I know precisely one person ever who has had a baby after age 45. We definitely weren't trying to get pregnant, but I figured my fertility is not what it used to be and I'm getting to the age where I am just. so. over. condoms. and so we weren't exactly being careful either. I am so so so excited ? and also so so so terrified  ? I know some of you have been in this situation, so please tell me this baby will keep me young, not make me old!!!

ETA: Oh yeah, and oldest DS starts college tomorrow

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Garga

Garga

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I’m 45 and not pregnant.  I’m not really a baby person, and I am not planning on having a baby at this stage.  But!  I have thought to myself lately that I would make an awesome parent of littles right now.  Now that my guys are older, I can see the big picture better than I could when my kids were small and I worried that I’d ruin them.  I have learned lots of patience and gentleness with littles. 

I think this baby will certainly keep you young!  I used to hear older moms say that they felt they were better moms, being older, because they were more patient and wise. I used to wonder if that was true, and now that I’m older, I can 100% see that being true.

Congratulations!

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@Garga, my sister, who has five kids with a huge age span (like 20+ year span) has said that she felt she was a much better parent to the later-born kids than the early-born ones. Stability, big-picture, patience, much less anxiety all contributed to her feeling this. 

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Momto6inIN

Momto6inIN

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10 minutes ago, Garga said:

I’m 45 and not pregnant.  I’m not really a baby person, and I am not planning on having a baby at this stage.  But!  I have thought to myself lately that I would make an awesome parent of littles right now.  Now that my guys are older, I can see the big picture better than I could when my kids were small and I worried that I’d ruin them.  I have learned lots of patience and gentleness with littles. 

I think this baby will certainly keep you young!  I used to hear older moms say that they felt they were better moms, being older, because they were more patient and wise. I used to wonder if that was true, and now that I’m older, I can 100% see that being true.

Congratulations!

 

2 minutes ago, Quill said:

@Garga, my sister, who has five kids with a huge age span (like 20+ year span) has said that she felt she was a much better parent to the later-born kids than the early-born ones. Stability, big-picture, patience, much less anxiety all contributed to her feeling this. 

I know I was a better mom in my 30s than my 20s so I'm hoping the trend holds true!

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Momto6inIN

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3 minutes ago, Arctic Mama said:

That’s great news, congratulations!  I hope the baby sticks for you and everything goes beautifully ?

Thank you! My last one ended in a miscarriage so I'm definitely not counting any chickens yet, but it's hard for my mind not to get too far ahead of itself.

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Momto6inIN

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12 minutes ago, happysmileylady said:

First, congrats!

Second, at 40yrs old if i got a + sign on a stick, I can't imagine my reaction.  Oddly enough though, it's possible I can, given that 22yrs ago, I got one of those ultimately unexpected + signs.

Third...

 

You have 5 kids listed in your siggie, ranging in age from 18 to 6.  And I can understand how one more is intimidating.  My oldest is 22.  My youngest turns 6 in October.  I have totally been in the situation of one in college and one in Kindy....and my Kindy wasn't even my youngest!  It's a bit unsettling....but you can do it.  

 

lots of positive thoughts sent your way!

It's not so much that the thought of another one overwhelms me. It's more that I already feel like I wear so many hats with kids of different ages, and now I'm going to throw an infant into that mix. I just last month got rid of all my maternity and baby stuff and now I get to start over again!

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sassenach

sassenach

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2 minutes ago, Momto5inIN said:

It's not so much that the thought of another one overwhelms me. It's more that I already feel like I wear so many hats with kids of different ages, and now I'm going to throw an infant into that mix. I just last month got rid of all my maternity and baby stuff and now I get to start over again!

Oh, see! That’s what did it.  

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Momto6inIN

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19 minutes ago, happysmileylady said:

First, congrats!

Second, at 40yrs old if i got a + sign on a stick, I can't imagine my reaction.  Oddly enough though, it's possible I can, given that 22yrs ago, I got one of those ultimately unexpected + signs.

Third...

 

You have 5 kids listed in your siggie, ranging in age from 18 to 6.  And I can understand how one more is intimidating.  My oldest is 22.  My youngest turns 6 in October.  I have totally been in the situation of one in college and one in Kindy....and my Kindy wasn't even my youngest!  It's a bit unsettling....but you can do it.  

 

lots of positive thoughts sent your way!

I forgot to say that knowing someone else has worn that many hats and succeeded is encouraging, so Thanks!:)

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RootAnn

RootAnn

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Hugs. I know you've obviously thought of this since you mentioned your last was a m/c, but it is very possible this one won't stick. Speaking as someone who got worked up about how things were going to change with the little one then very attached to said little one then very upset when said little one didn't make it, I would recommend not planning too far ahead yet.

My thoughts & prayers are with you. (My kids were so excited when we told them ... and so devastated when the update was bad news. So, I think your kids will be so helpful & excited if the baby sticks.) It looks like you've already been through an "advanced maternal age" pregnancy, so you know what to expect. Expect it to be even more annoying at almost 45!

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Crimson Wife

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Congrats! I hope everything goes smoothly for you. I had a rough start to this current pregnancy with initially slow HCG doubling times that led to concerns about a possible ectopic. Wouldn't wish that anxiety on anyone. But (knock on wood) everything turned out okay and I'm now in the homestretch.

I know women who had naturally conceived, healthy babies in their mid-40's so while it's not super-common, it's definitely possible.

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Momto6inIN

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3 minutes ago, RootAnn said:

Hugs. I know you've obviously thought of this since you mentioned your last was a m/c, but it is very possible this one won't stick. Speaking as someone who got worked up about how things were going to change with the little one then very attached to said little one then very upset when said little one didn't make it, I would recommend not planning too far ahead yet.

My thoughts & prayers are with you. (My kids were so excited when we told them ... and so devastated when the update was bad news. So, I think your kids will be so helpful & excited if the baby sticks.) It looks like you've already been through an "advanced maternal age" pregnancy, so you know what to expect. Expect it to be even more annoying at almost 45!

I know, you're right, and I'm trying to tell myself that. But if there was an Olympic event for "what ifs" I would totally have a gold medal ?

We are trying to decide when to tell our kids. With my m/c they all said they were glad to have known and been happy or a while first than to not have known until afterwards ... But I'm kind of afraid to jinx it.

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Momto6inIN

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8 minutes ago, Crimson Wife said:

Congrats! I hope everything goes smoothly for you. I had a rough start to this current pregnancy with initially slow HCG doubling times that led to concerns about a possible ectopic. Wouldn't wish that anxiety on anyone. But (knock on wood) everything turned out okay and I'm now in the homestretch.

I know women who had naturally conceived, healthy babies in their mid-40's so while it's not super-common, it's definitely possible.

I'm wondering if I should ask about testing progesterone levels pretty soon. (I know that's different from HCG but that reminded me) Esp since my last was a m/c and I was already having some perimenopause symptoms.

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RootAnn

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Yes to testing both HCG & progesterone levels (if you've had issues with that in the past). Besides ectopic, you'll want to also be aware of the risk of a molar pregnancy. I don't know how your OB office is, but mine doesn't do routine HCG monitoring anymore & doesn't like to see anyone until they are at least 12 weeks. You have to push hard to get in before then and they are more reactive than proactive with testing.

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Crimson Wife

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2 minutes ago, Momto5inIN said:

I'm wondering if I should ask about testing progesterone levels pretty soon. (I know that's different from HCG but that reminded me) Esp since my last was a m/c and I was already having some perimenopause symptoms.

I had low progesterone and that was one reason the doctor was concerned that it might not be a viable pregnancy. She wound up prescribing me progesterone suppositories but only after the HCG doubling times improved and some other tests that might indicate an ectopic came back negative. Progesterone can wind up delaying but not preventing the miscarriage of a non-viable pregnancy & she didn't want that to happen to me.

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happypamama

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Congratulations!!

 

(I'm 41, and my oldest will be almost 17 when this baby arrives, with my living current youngest being 5 now, so while you have a bigger gap, I can identify a little.  I figure that you're right about these little ones keeping us young!)

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Katy

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2 minutes ago, Momto5inIN said:

Really?!? I did not know that!

 

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2014/06/140625101750.htm

The part about 40 is in the last sentence: https://consumer.healthday.com/health-technology-information-18/genetics-news-334/natural-conception-later-in-life-tied-to-longer-life-for-women-689152.html

http://time.com/4574770/older-moms-may-live-longer/

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Momto6inIN

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29 minutes ago, RootAnn said:

Yes to testing both HCG & progesterone levels (if you've had issues with that in the past). Besides ectopic, you'll want to also be aware of the risk of a molar pregnancy. I don't know how your OB office is, but mine doesn't do routine HCG monitoring anymore & doesn't like to see anyone until they are at least 12 weeks. You have to push hard to get in before then and they are more reactive than proactive with testing.

I haven't been to an OB since my miscarriage because my longtime doc died shortly afterward of a sudden heart attack so I just started going to my NP for paps and checkups. I wondered if it would be hard to get a new OB doc to do any testing without knowing anything about me except what's in my chart, but I bet my NP would do it. She's a peach ?

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Crimson Wife

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6 minutes ago, Momto5inIN said:

Really?!? I did not know that!

I've heard that. My grandmother had 4 kids after the age of 35 naturally and lived to be 99 so I'm inclined to believe that women who are healthy enough to conceive naturally in their 40's are more likely to become centenarians.

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Laurel-in-CA

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I was 46 when our bonus package arrived....that pregnancy was stressful because of a whole host of factors that had nothing to do with the pregnancy itself -- layoff, underpaid two-job dh, family illness, etc. We survived, altho' I went on mediCal because dh was w/o medical insurance. Our bonus package is now 15yo and yes, she DOES keep me young! She has been a huge blessing. Do not fear, just keep moving forward.

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Momto6inIN

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16 minutes ago, Laurel-in-CA said:

I was 46 when our bonus package arrived....that pregnancy was stressful because of a whole host of factors that had nothing to do with the pregnancy itself -- layoff, underpaid two-job dh, family illness, etc. We survived, altho' I went on mediCal because dh was w/o medical insurance. Our bonus package is now 15yo and yes, she DOES keep me young! She has been a huge blessing. Do not fear, just keep moving forward.

❤❤❤

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BakersDozen

BakersDozen

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I'm nursing my smallest now (almost 10mo) and I have to say that I just love having a new squish even while having olders/middles/littles. "Babies make us better" is what my kids say. They bring out the tenderness in even my somewhat prickly kids. As a mom I have learned to slow down and enjoy every moment. I don't rush nursing, I don't put the baby down so I can get stuff done, I don't begrudge a single moment of sleep because that's when I can stare at my sweet boy and just love on him. I appreciate every moment and stage so much more than I did before. As for wearing "hats" as a mom of multiple ages/stages, it all works out, I think. When I need quiet time and some rebuilding of my spirit (my older ones do a good job trying to squash my spirit, lol) that's when my boy's goofy smile and baby laughs make it all better. Just today I finally finished his nursery (my 3yo was in the closet we converted to a baby room until recently) and as I put the last picture on the wall and smoothed the crib sheet one more time I just couldn't believe I get to enjoy this precious journey again. Having multiple ages/stages to enjoy it with me just makes it even better. I don't know about the baby keeping me young because I am feeling older rapidly, but I attribute that to my young adults who aged me very quickly...sigh. So maybe having my last babies helped balance that?

Edit to add: I just turned 45.

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2 hours ago, Crimson Wife said:

Congrats! I hope everything goes smoothly for you. I had a rough start to this current pregnancy with initially slow HCG doubling times that led to concerns about a possible ectopic. Wouldn't wish that anxiety on anyone. But (knock on wood) everything turned out okay and I'm now in the homestretch.

I know women who had naturally conceived, healthy babies in their mid-40's so while it's not super-common, it's definitely possible.

There was a point where I prepared to lose the pregnancy (I was due exactly one year ago from when you are). Slower rising hcg and a slightly enlarged yolk sac...I prepared myself for another loss. Still can't believe he is here...

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Momto6inIN

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8 hours ago, BakersDozen said:

I'm nursing my smallest now (almost 10mo) and I have to say that I just love having a new squish even while having olders/middles/littles. "Babies make us better" is what my kids say. They bring out the tenderness in even my somewhat prickly kids. As a mom I have learned to slow down and enjoy every moment. I don't rush nursing, I don't put the baby down so I can get stuff done, I don't begrudge a single moment of sleep because that's when I can stare at my sweet boy and just love on him. I appreciate every moment and stage so much more than I did before. As for wearing "hats" as a mom of multiple ages/stages, it all works out, I think. When I need quiet time and some rebuilding of my spirit (my older ones do a good job trying to squash my spirit, lol) that's when my boy's goofy smile and baby laughs make it all better. Just today I finally finished his nursery (my 3yo was in the closet we converted to a baby room until recently) and as I put the last picture on the wall and smoothed the crib sheet one more time I just couldn't believe I get to enjoy this precious journey again. Having multiple ages/stages to enjoy it with me just makes it even better. I don't know about the baby keeping me young because I am feeling older rapidly, but I attribute that to my young adults who aged me very quickly...sigh. So maybe having my last babies helped balance that?

Edit to add: I just turned 45.

 

7 hours ago, gardenmom5 said:

hugs, and  congrats.  I have a 'caboose'.  he was born the year 1dd graduated from college, and 2dd was a college freshman.   everyone loves him, he goes to his sisters houses like a child would go to an aunts.

Thank you both! I knew I came to the right place looking  for encouragement ?

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