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So I'm 44.5 years old and this morning I peed on a stick ...

Momto6inIN

By Momto6inIN,
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vonfirmath

vonfirmath

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I will be 45 in a few weeks. I'd be overjoyed (And terrified) to have a positive pregnancy.  I'd love to have more kids. But the last one (which I had at 38) was fairly exhausting and has gotten to the age of being more independent -- even making some of her own food! having a baby again now would be even harder now. But I'm already starting to mourn saying good-bye to some youner kids things and we always wanted more than two kids. So yeah, Happy and Terrifying at the same time

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nixpix5

nixpix5

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This is wonderful and you will be just fine ? we have a span of ages from 25 (next month) down to 7yo. There is something so amazing about honing those parenting skills and knocking it out of the park as a parent when you are older. Things I stressed as a young parent no longer worry me this time around. I would love to have one more baby at this point in my life. Congratulations! I wish you a happy and healthy pregnancy!

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KungFuPanda

KungFuPanda

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15 hours ago, Momto5inIN said:

...and there was a "+" sign.

I am not ready to tell anybody in real life about this (other than DH obviously) and even if I did I wouldn't get the info I need because I know precisely one person ever who has had a baby after age 45. We definitely weren't trying to get pregnant, but I figured my fertility is not what it used to be and I'm getting to the age where I am just. so. over. condoms. and so we weren't exactly being careful either. I am so so so excited ? and also so so so terrified  ? I know some of you have been in this situation, so please tell me this baby will keep me young, not make me old!!!

ETA: Oh yeah, and oldest DS starts college tomorrow

THIS IS TERRIFYING! 

I could’ve written this post, but I refuse to POAS. I’m positive I’m experiencing the first signs of peri and I’m going with that for a while. ?

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Momto6inIN

Momto6inIN

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1 hour ago, KungFuPanda said:

THIS IS TERRIFYING! 

I could’ve written this post, but I refuse to POAS. I’m positive I’m experiencing the first signs of peri and I’m going with that for a while. ?

I hope for your sake it's peri, but if not then we can commiserate together! ?

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Noreen Claire

Noreen Claire

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Congratulations!

I'm 44. My oldest will turn 23 this October, 6 days after the youngest turns 2. I emphatically agree that being an older parent can mean being a better, more relaxed parent. HOWEVER, I'm also seriously more exhausted than I have ever been. Now that my youngest is night-weaned and sleeping in his own bed (though, not always sleeping through the night), I'm going to try and focus on getting myself into better mental and physical shape in order to see all this little people grow old.

I would *love* another baby. I'm just too tired. 

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Momto6inIN

Momto6inIN

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32 minutes ago, Noreen Claire said:

Congratulations!

I'm 44. My oldest will turn 23 this October, 6 days after the youngest turns 2. I emphatically agree that being an older parent can mean being a better, more relaxed parent. HOWEVER, I'm also seriously more exhausted than I have ever been. Now that my youngest is night-weaned and sleeping in his own bed (though, not always sleeping through the night), I'm going to try and focus on getting myself into better mental and physical shape in order to see all this little people grow old.

I would *love* another baby. I'm just too tired. 

Yes to the bolded! 

That is exactly what I was thinking about this morning during my prayer time. 

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Kebo

Kebo

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Been there, done that.  My unexpected baby was born when I was 44.  It was a huge shock and terrible timing.   She's been a joy, and I wouldn't trade her for the world! 

Big congratulations to you.  May this end up the best surprise you've ever received. 

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Momto6inIN

Momto6inIN

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20 hours ago, RootAnn said:

Just wondering if there was an update. :blush:

 

16 hours ago, Arctic Mama said:

Yes! How are you?

Awww ... you guys are so sweet to ask!

They did an hcg check and said there was a definite rise, which is a good sign but obviously not a guarantee. So she wants to see me in 2 weeks for an ultrasound and at that point (8 weeks) if they find a heartbeat then miscarriage  will be "unlikely". 

Edited by Momto5inIN
Eta: and emotionally we are getting used to the idea lol
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Tina

Tina

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How exciting!  I had my last at 42 and have about a dozen friends who've done the same.  One friend had hers at 45 and she's a delightful girl.  Yes, they keep you young! lol  I think dh is kind of lost without the soccer games and basketball games to attend this year. lol

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  • 2 weeks later...
Crimson Wife

Crimson Wife

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Just now, Momto5inIN said:

Update!

I had an ultrasound today and at 8 weeks they saw the flutter of a heartbeat so we are cautiously optimistic it will stick! ❤

Congrats! The odds are actually pretty good once a heartbeat has been detected. You can get personalized odds using this calculator: https://datayze.com/miscarriage-reassurer.php

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HollyDay

HollyDay

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My youngest was born just shy of 40 so I was a bit younger than where you are now.  I know 2 ladies who had babies as they were turning 50. 

Both have beautiful baby boys who grew up to be strong young men. 

I recently asked one about her experience as an older mom.  Some insights I found interesting:

caring for a toddler at 51 was a lot harder for her physically than caring for a toddler at 31

mom and me groups are comprised of much younger than her moms

the 20 year age gap between oldest and youngest made for interesting sibling relationships.  My mother was married when my uncle was still in diapers.  She often remarked that she didn't really know her younger siblings.  She was out of the house when they were littles.  They had to be very intentional about developing a sibling relationship not a baby/babysitter relationship

Financial planning is different.  You are 44 now, 45 when dc is born.  65 when dc turns 20.  When others are retiring or enjoying grandchildren, you will still be dealing with braces, drivers ed/car insurance, college tuition. 

Being older does bring a few more challenges physically, but......

Babies are such a wonderful blessing!!!  Many congratulations to you and your family!!!!

 

 

 

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Momto6inIN

Momto6inIN

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11 hours ago, HollyDay said:

My youngest was born just shy of 40 so I was a bit younger than where you are now.  I know 2 ladies who had babies as they were turning 50. 

Both have beautiful baby boys who grew up to be strong young men. 

I recently asked one about her experience as an older mom.  Some insights I found interesting:

caring for a toddler at 51 was a lot harder for her physically than caring for a toddler at 31

mom and me groups are comprised of much younger than her moms

the 20 year age gap between oldest and youngest made for interesting sibling relationships.  My mother was married when my uncle was still in diapers.  She often remarked that she didn't really know her younger siblings.  She was out of the house when they were littles.  They had to be very intentional about developing a sibling relationship not a baby/babysitter relationship

Financial planning is different.  You are 44 now, 45 when dc is born.  65 when dc turns 20.  When others are retiring or enjoying grandchildren, you will still be dealing with braces, drivers ed/car insurance, college tuition. 

Being older does bring a few more challenges physically, but......

Babies are such a wonderful blessing!!!  Many congratulations to you and your family!!!!

 

 

 

These are a lot of the thoughts swirling around my head ... I will be 63 when he/she graduates from high school and oldest DS will be 37!

DH's mom had 7 kids 19 years apart and the oldest and youngest are close now but that wasn't always the case. And I know the youngest always felt like she had 7 sets of parents instead of 1 set of parents and 6 sets of siblings ? She and I are actually pretty close and I hope to pick her brain about what it was like for her and what she would have changed as soon as we're ready to spill the beans to people in real life!

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ktgrok

ktgrok

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Congrats!!! My youngest was born when I was 41. My oldest and youngest are 18 years apart, and I love it. Only thing I'd change was I would have had more, to fill in the 10 yr gap between oldest and next oldest ?

My two youngest are 5 yrs apart. 

Honestly, it's wonderful. Hard, but wonderful. And baby Rosemary adores her biggest brother, Michael, who she called "Guggle". 

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mom@shiloh

mom@shiloh

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Congratulations!  It will be great!

I always wanted a tag-along, surprise baby in my 40's. We were led to adoption instead, with my youngest born when I was 45. It's absolutely wonderful.  We're so happy to have a house full of teenagers while most of our contemporaries are empty-nesters. Yes, there are issues that arise because of it and because of the large age spread of our kids, but hey!  everyone has to deal with something.  I'm glad that I get to deal with this. 

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mom@shiloh

mom@shiloh

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On 9/7/2018 at 8:06 AM, Momto5inIN said:

These are a lot of the thoughts swirling around my head ... I will be 63 when he/she graduates from high school and oldest DS will be 37!

DH's mom had 7 kids 19 years apart and the oldest and youngest are close now but that wasn't always the case. And I know the youngest always felt like she had 7 sets of parents instead of 1 set of parents and 6 sets of siblings ? She and I are actually pretty close and I hope to pick her brain about what it was like for her and what she would have changed as soon as we're ready to spill the beans to people in real life!

I will also be 63 when my youngest graduates from high school.  That spares me the pesky decision about what I'm going to do with my life when my kids are grown -- I'm going to retire and do whatever I want!!  

I am also the youngest of 7 with a 19 year gap. I never felt like I had more than one set of parents.  I appreciated being able to observe my siblings choose careers and spouses.  I benefited from watching their parenting. 

Perhaps the only downside that I see is that it's difficult for me to be as involved with my grandchildren as I'd like since I'm still very busy with kids at home.  On the flip side of that, my younger kids and grandkids get to have a pretty neat relationship, quite different from having only aunts and uncles who are adults.  I had that with my nephews and nieces as well, doing far more babysitting of them than my mom did. 

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Momto6inIN

Momto6inIN

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6 hours ago, mom@shiloh said:

Congratulations!  It will be great!

I always wanted a tag-along, surprise baby in my 40's. We were led to adoption instead, with my youngest born when I was 45. It's absolutely wonderful.  We're so happy to have a house full of teenagers while most of our contemporaries are empty-nesters. Yes, there are issues that arise because of it and because of the large age spread of our kids, but hey!  everyone has to deal with something.  I'm glad that I get to deal with this. 

This is a great perspective, I will have to remember this!

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