Anyone else sitting on the Christmas shopping sidelines?

[pinkmint]

This is a time of year for us when DH's overtime has completely dried up. We are only in the store for basics like groceries, and even then I have to be careful. I notice the black Friday and other 'amazing' deals knowing I can't partake in any of it. My growing kids do need things, and want things of course. This is just not a time when we can do anything about it. 

 

In some ways I'm sure it's good for me to not get swept up in the consumerist frenzy. It's just hard sometimes sitting on the sidelines. I sometimes feel like it's almost immoral to not be out buying stuff. 

 

Not Christmas related but still the same sort of thing... my nephew's birthday is this week (he's a teen), and I sent him a postcard from our state with some hopefully heartwarming words, and signatures by my kids. I found out he is getting a trip to NYC for his birthday from someone else he's related to. It's hard not to compare and feel lousy like my gestures are relatively meaningless. Not saying it's right, just saying. 

 

Anyone else sitting on the sidelines? 

[Barb_]

I just want to send hugs. We've been there in other years due to job losses, and I can empathize. I know I don't kneed to tell you that logically, no one is faulting you for sitting this one out. You can only do what you can do. But emotionally it can be so hard to deal with, can't it?

 

Barb

[marbel]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:

 

I often feel like I am sitting on the sidelines of Christmas shopping, whether I need to or not.  Some years have been very tight, and some years, not so much. But we have never bought lots of gifts for our kids or anyone else, really.    

 

There can be much more meaning in little things - like a handwritten postcard - than in big things.  Well, there can be meaning in both.  

 

I know a family whose kids are delighted by things that my kids have always taken for granted.  Like, hot cocoa.  Marshmallows are such a treat!  My kids don't see that as a treat - there is always hot cocoa makings available in our house.  There is no delight anymore. 

 

I pray you will find a way to delight your family and yourself within your budget this year!

Edited December 6, 2016 by marbel

[Lang Syne Boardie]

The postcard to your nephew was fine!!! The majority of aunties don't provide trips to NYC, they let you know you're remembered and loved in their own way. So well done, there, and absolutely no reason to compare anything.

 

As far as Christmas...it is HARD to not be able to afford gifts and luxuries when even the necessities are hard to come by. No sense in pretending it's not hard, or that it doesn't make a parent feel bad. (((pink))) But let's move on to what to do:

 

1. Are you religious? Is this a religious holiday for your family, with enough significance that traditions really can take the place of stuff? If so, I'll give you some ideas for doing that...

 

2. If you are not very religious, you can still do this on a spiritual level with community service and community involvement over the holidays. Attending all the free stuff in town, practicing Christmas carols to sing at a nursing home (or simply as a backup for a friendly Salvation Army bell ringer!), making Christmas cards for the grocery store clerks and the fire department...

 

If you utilize either of these options, your children can experience Christmas. A Christmas morning stocking with a matchbox car or a homemade doll, some candy and fruit really can be almost enough, if they feel stuffed full of Christmas love already.

 

3. Getting some help. Your community should have events where people are donating coats, hats, gloves, Christmas presents for children who wouldn't otherwise receive them, a little heating and rent assistance...churches, and the public schools, would be sources of information.

[Carol in Cal.]

My husband's father worked at a brewery.  Every year toward the end of the year he would get laid off.  The only question was for how long this time.  Eventually he would always get hired back, but the difference between two weeks and four weeks was significant economically and completely out of their control.  They were too embarrassed to go on food stamps but they would go get government food.  This mean that cheese is traditional for DH for Christmas, and sadly, that he dreads Christmas every year and gets depressed/angry around it without knowing why.  We have been married for almost 30 years and he is finally starting to leave that behind him.

 

Hugs to you, Pinkmint.  I know it's hard, but I also know that you have all the most important things.  

Edited December 7, 2016 by Carol in Cal.

[Heatherwith4]

I have been there before, yes. It is no fun. :grouphug:

[pinkmint]

Thank you, all. 

 

:grouphug:  :grouphug:

 

I often feel like I am sitting on the sidelines of Christmas shopping, whether I need to or not.  Some years have been very tight, and some years, not so much. But we have never bought lots of gifts for our kids or anyone else, really.    

 

There can be much more meaning in little things - like a handwritten postcard - than in big things.  Well, there can be meaning in both.  

 

I know a family whose kids are delighted by things that my kids have always taken for granted.  Like, hot cocoa.  Marshmallows are such a treat!  My kids don't see that as a treat - there is always hot cocoa makings available in our house.  There is no delight anymore. 

 

I pray you will find a way to delight your family and yourself within your budget this year!

 

This is one of my hopes. That instead of bitterness, resentment and comparison, my kids will learn to delight in the little joys of life. That a cup of hot cocoa (etc) will be a special thing. I know my attitude makes a difference. 

Edited December 6, 2016 by pinkmint

[UncleEJ]

I most definitely am in the same boat. DH has been out of work for almost 3 months. We have been getting by, but things are very tight. He should be going back to work any time now, hopefully in time to buy the kids a few gifts. It is really hard. Hugs.

[TechWife]

I am sitting on the sidelines. In fact, I often forget about the holiday altogether. My father died seven weeks ago and my mother died three days ago. I will eventually get gift certificates for the children I shop for and we will get gifts for our son, but other than that, I doubt I'll get around to any other  shopping. I'm going back home this Saturday and hopefully we will get our tree up on Sunday. If it doesn't go up then, I don't know when it will go up because I have to come back here and start to clean out my parents' house the following weekend.  I doubt I'll decorate outside this year, though. I just don't have the energy. 

 

 

[pinkmint]

(((Techwife)))

 

So sorry for your losses.

[Ali in OR]

I am sitting on the sidelines. In fact, I often forget about the holiday altogether. My father died seven weeks ago and my mother died three days ago. I will eventually get gift certificates for the children I shop for and we will get gifts for our son, but other than that, I doubt I'll get around to any other  shopping. I'm going back home this Saturday and hopefully we will get our tree up on Sunday. If it doesn't go up then, I don't know when it will go up because I have to come back here and start to clean out my parents' house the following weekend.  I doubt I'll decorate outside this year, though. I just don't have the energy. 

 

I'm so sorry. I've lost one parent, and that was hard enough. Losing both, and at this time of year--that's really tough. Praying for peace and support for you.

[madteaparty]

So sorry techwife.

[mommyoffive]

Techwife

 

I am so sorry for your losses.  I am thinking of you and sending you thoughts of peace. 

[Jen in NY]

(((Techwife))), peace to you and yours.

 

Pinkmint, is your siggy up to date? Are your kids 7, 3, and 2?

 

[Mama Geek]

Techwife, I am sorry for you losses.  My dad passed about 20 years ago and sometimes it is still hard and that is after a pretty rocky relationship for a long time.

 

Pinkmint spending time with your kids will have more meaning than things in the long run.  I remember a few gifts from past years, but I remember things like going cross country skiing and playing in the snow on Christmas day one year when it was just me and dh for Christmas and we were in a new area.  That was a lot of fun.

[Carol in Cal.]

Very sorry for your losses, Techwife.

[pinkmint]

 

 

Pinkmint, is your siggy up to date? Are your kids 7, 3, and 2?

 

Kids are currently 8, 6 and 2.

[pinkmint]

I do want to say we are not suffering. I don't wish to come across that way. Things are very good and though we may not have all our wants, or even what many consider needs we have the important things in life. Including friends, and that means you reading this!

 

I just wanted to connect with others who may not be in step with what is 'normal' this time of year.

[umsami]

:grouphug:   TechWife.

 

 

OP, we've faced that with Dh being out of work for two years (now he's working). While we're Muslim, we still partake in Black Friday, as well as buy gifts for Christian family.  So it's tough.  I'm so sorry.  Our Eids and Ramadans have almost always been homemade just because of lack of commercial stuff available.  Now that there's slightly more available thanks to Etsy and the 'net, I'm actually a bit nostalgic for when we had to just make it as festive as we could with the Dollar Tree and homemade things.

[HeWillSoar]

Thank you, all. 

 

 

This is one of my hopes. That instead of bitterness, resentment and comparison, my kids will learn to delight in the little joys of life. That a cup of hot cocoa (etc) will be a special thing. I know my attitude makes a difference. 

 

This makes me think of a conversation I had with the kids the other day.  They couldn't believe that kids would be excited to get oranges for Christmas.  "Who gets excited over an orange?" Our fruit bowl seems endless because I refill it with fresh fruit when it runs out.  I explained to them that if something was not had but rarely, then it would be seen as something wonderful. 

 

I hope you and your family have a nice Christmas! 

[madteaparty]

I just wanted to say that sometimes it's not what it seems. Like with Black Friday, I don't think most people are out there getting violent over TVs, but that's what you see on the news. For my people (children and nieces/nephew) I have not bought a single thing for yet, because most are getting "experiences" (museum memberships/tickets to events). But in previous years I stalked that Amazon lightening deal like it was a job, mostly out of boredom. Think of it this way, you don't need to consume to be happy. I think this comes through in your posts. Pity the fools that do. Chin up, mama.

[frugalmamatx]

Yup true for us most years, but especially this one. I bought a tiny bit from Target with a gift card I had put back from a survey. But nothing cash as right now I have to get a property tax bill paid ASAP AND a couple windows replaced from the hail storm {we've been coasting on tarped windows since mid-April, but it's getting cold now}. 

 

We have all our basic needs met, but things are pretty stretched to meet them right now. We'll be fine though. 

 

I find staying out of stores helps, as well as not reading ads. It is easier to ignore the "great" deals when you do those two things. 

[Liz CA]

I am sitting on the sidelines. In fact, I often forget about the holiday altogether. My father died seven weeks ago and my mother died three days ago. I will eventually get gift certificates for the children I shop for and we will get gifts for our son, but other than that, I doubt I'll get around to any other  shopping. I'm going back home this Saturday and hopefully we will get our tree up on Sunday. If it doesn't go up then, I don't know when it will go up because I have to come back here and start to clean out my parents' house the following weekend.  I doubt I'll decorate outside this year, though. I just don't have the energy. 

 

:grouphug: :grouphug: This is rough.

[Denise in IN]

I think you are handling a difficult time with grace and perseverance.  So many expectations at this time of year - it can be tough to navigate.

 

Not Christmas related but still the same sort of thing... my nephew's birthday is this week (he's a teen), and I sent him a postcard from our state with some hopefully heartwarming words, and signatures by my kids. I found out he is getting a trip to NYC for his birthday from someone else he's related to. It's hard not to compare and feel lousy like my gestures are relatively meaningless. Not saying it's right, just saying. 

 

Anyone else sitting on the sidelines? 

 

I just want to respond to this - relationship and kindness are NEVER meaningless!  And big trips are not normal gifts for the vast majority.

[Denise in IN]

I am sitting on the sidelines. In fact, I often forget about the holiday altogether. My father died seven weeks ago and my mother died three days ago. I will eventually get gift certificates for the children I shop for and we will get gifts for our son, but other than that, I doubt I'll get around to any other  shopping. I'm going back home this Saturday and hopefully we will get our tree up on Sunday. If it doesn't go up then, I don't know when it will go up because I have to come back here and start to clean out my parents' house the following weekend.  I doubt I'll decorate outside this year, though. I just don't have the energy. 

 

TechWife, I'm so sorry for your loss.  That is a lot to deal with in such a short amount of time.  Praying you will have peace in this grieving time.  Be kind to youself.  

 

:grouphug:

[fraidycat]

I am sitting on the sidelines. In fact, I often forget about the holiday altogether. My father died seven weeks ago and my mother died three days ago. I will eventually get gift certificates for the children I shop for and we will get gifts for our son, but other than that, I doubt I'll get around to any other shopping. I'm going back home this Saturday and hopefully we will get our tree up on Sunday. If it doesn't go up then, I don't know when it will go up because I have to come back here and start to clean out my parents' house the following weekend. I doubt I'll decorate outside this year, though. I just don't have the energy.

:grouphug: :grouphug:

 

So sorry for your losses.

[fraidycat]

This is a time of year for us when DH's overtime has completely dried up. We are only in the store for basics like groceries, and even then I have to be careful. I notice the black Friday and other 'amazing' deals knowing I can't partake in any of it. My growing kids do need things, and want things of course. This is just not a time when we can do anything about it.

 

In some ways I'm sure it's good for me to not get swept up in the consumerist frenzy. It's just hard sometimes sitting on the sidelines. I sometimes feel like it's almost immoral to not be out buying stuff.

 

Not Christmas related but still the same sort of thing... my nephew's birthday is this week (he's a teen), and I sent him a postcard from our state with some hopefully heartwarming words, and signatures by my kids. I found out he is getting a trip to NYC for his birthday from someone else he's related to. It's hard not to compare and feel lousy like my gestures are relatively meaningless. Not saying it's right, just saying.

 

Anyone else sitting on the sidelines?

We've had tight years and less tight years.

 

It's tough to watch others being "able" to do what we's like to be able to do.

 

:grouphug:

[purplejackmama]

I just want to send hugs. We've been there in other years due to job losses, and I can empathize. I know I don't kneed to tell you that logically, no one is faulting you for sitting this one out. You can only do what you can do. But emotionally it can be so hard to deal with, can't it?

 

Barb

So much this. My family spent 5-7 years underemployed. Struggling. It's so so hard.

[Guest]

We are financially stuck right now, yes. Just no extra money available with an impending birth, kids vision appointments, household projects, food costs, etc. There is tons I wish I could have snagged on sale but the sale wasn't a good deal since it would s involve spending money we didn't really have.

 

I can't complain, we have what we need and no outstanding bills - we were even able to pay for our spring dance semester promptly which was amazing, because that was a grand we didn't have sitting around and thankfully could scrounge up. We are also steadily and well employed, we just have a lot of expenses - that a huge praise! But no big holiday shopping for us even if we wanted to - each kid is getting one exciting present and a movie, then any money coming from grandparents is being pooled for stocking stuffers. I got my husband a cute mug and may knit him a nice ice scraper cover since he always just pulls his sleeve over his hand. And then we will sit and be grateful we have an nice roof, food, heat, and a bright future even as it is tight right now.

 

It's too easy for me to get grumpy on all this but I have no reason - YES I am sidelined from consumerism by virtue of no real budget for it right now, but we have what we need and a fair bit of what we want too. Pretty good!

Edited December 6, 2016 by Arctic Mama

[Guest]

I am sitting on the sidelines. In fact, I often forget about the holiday altogether. My father died seven weeks ago and my mother died three days ago. I will eventually get gift certificates for the children I shop for and we will get gifts for our son, but other than that, I doubt I'll get around to any other shopping. I'm going back home this Saturday and hopefully we will get our tree up on Sunday. If it doesn't go up then, I don't know when it will go up because I have to come back here and start to clean out my parents' house the following weekend. I doubt I'll decorate outside this year, though. I just don't have the energy.

Hugs and prayers for you in your grieving. I'm so sorry for your losses this year, that's like a ton of bricks emotionally :(

[MomatHWTK]

The availability of instant information from friends, relatives and strangers can be interesting. But, it is also a temptation to fall into discontent. If what you are reading is something that saddens rather than cheers you, it is time to stop reading. Don't allow yourself to drift into discontent when you can avoid the causes. 

 

ETA: I don't "click" on the deals threads. I don't want to get sucked into buying things and regret it later. 

Edited December 6, 2016 by MomatHWTK

[Lawyer&Mom]

Paper snowflakes. Paper doll chains. Paper chain garlands. String popcorn. String cranberries. Decorate oranges with cloves. Make mulled cider. Bake cookies. Sing carols. Popsicle stick glitter stars.

 

There are lots of inexpensive ways to celebrate and feel festive. But yeah, it's hard.

[MooCow]

I am sitting on the sidelines. In fact, I often forget about the holiday altogether. My father died seven weeks ago and my mother died three days ago. I will eventually get gift certificates for the children I shop for and we will get gifts for our son, but other than that, I doubt I'll get around to any other shopping. I'm going back home this Saturday and hopefully we will get our tree up on Sunday. If it doesn't go up then, I don't know when it will go up because I have to come back here and start to clean out my parents' house the following weekend. I doubt I'll decorate outside this year, though. I just don't have the energy.

I'm so sorry :(

[porque]

Techwife- I am so sorry for your loss.

 

Pinkmint-Yes, I am sitting on the Christmas shopping sidelines. Most years we have been able to somehow pull some nice gifts together for the kids, but not this year.

 

We have reframed it as "small Christmas" ( my kids are teens,adults). Christmas lists were fun to make as everyone had to think of small (inexpensive) things that they wanted, we are getting a small tree, and doing some free community events.

I must say, once I accepted that this is the way this Christmas is going to be I have been really enjoying sitting on the Christmas shopping sidelines. Turns out I don't miss it!!

[melmichigan]

I am sitting on the sidelines. In fact, I often forget about the holiday altogether. My father died seven weeks ago and my mother died three days ago. I will eventually get gift certificates for the children I shop for and we will get gifts for our son, but other than that, I doubt I'll get around to any other  shopping. I'm going back home this Saturday and hopefully we will get our tree up on Sunday. If it doesn't go up then, I don't know when it will go up because I have to come back here and start to clean out my parents' house the following weekend.  I doubt I'll decorate outside this year, though. I just don't have the energy. 

I am so sorry for your losses.  

 

OP, we are scaling back Christmas this year.  DH isn't working overtime since his plant caught fire back in August. We are focusing on a few carefully chosen gifts, decorations, lots of baking, and time together.  The kids are making plans for a movie marathon.  We've done a lot with community service and donations of our time. It will be fun and festive, regardless.

Edited December 7, 2016 by melmichigan

[heartlikealion]

We didn't go crazy this year and I have been there in the past with things being super tight. Like dh bought a bunch of ds' toys from Goodwill one year. Ds was about 3. The new but not expensive toy we got him broke on Christmas day. I was so upset at that time, but now we still have some of those same toys from Goodwill because dd is enjoying them.

 

As someone mentioned up thread maybe look into the angel tree program or Toys for Tots or something if applicable. I don't know if you have missed the deadlines or not because a lot of those trees are already up, but I think some just got put up (I heard an ad on the radio today for one tree at a Walmart that they indicated just appeared today).

[Baseball mom]

TechWife -- I am so sorry :grouphug:

[Baseball mom]

This is a very tight year for us too.  I did no black Friday shopping.  I wouldn't look at sale ads or click on deals.  I didn't have the money and didn't want to see what I was missing.  I spent the whole weekend watching hallmark Christmas movies and eating popcorn  :thumbup:  I like hm movies and popcorn ;)  and it didn't cost me anything  

 

I have done some shopping the last couple days but that was because we were blessed with some people helping us.  Dc asked for useful/needed items for the most part.  So I am trying to get those items and use the money wisely.   

 

Niece and nephew will probably be upset with our gift to them this year.  But it is what it is. 

 

PinkMint -- I am sure your dc will learn to enjoy the small things.  Mine have. 

 

 

 

 

[bibiche]

TechWife, I am so sorry for your losses. :(

[Liz CA]

I just wanted to say that there was a time when we lived in a trailer while dh finished his degree. My son fondly recalls those days, how tightly packed everything was, how cozy...I remember it slightly differently. ;)

Your kids will probably be okay with less but for us Moms it's harder to not be able to give what we would like to give.

Edited December 8, 2016 by Liz CA

[Jane in NC]

Sending hugs to TechWife. May you find peace.

[Tanaqui]

I am sitting on the sidelines. In fact, I often forget about the holiday altogether. My father died seven weeks ago and my mother died three days ago. I will eventually get gift certificates for the children I shop for and we will get gifts for our son, but other than that, I doubt I'll get around to any other  shopping. I'm going back home this Saturday and hopefully we will get our tree up on Sunday. If it doesn't go up then, I don't know when it will go up because I have to come back here and start to clean out my parents' house the following weekend.  I doubt I'll decorate outside this year, though. I just don't have the energy. 

 

*hugs*

 

Don't rush yourself. Nobody expects you to be at 100% right after losing your parents. You just take things at whatever speed works best for you.

[Ausmumof3]

I am sitting on the sidelines. In fact, I often forget about the holiday altogether. My father died seven weeks ago and my mother died three days ago. I will eventually get gift certificates for the children I shop for and we will get gifts for our son, but other than that, I doubt I'll get around to any other shopping. I'm going back home this Saturday and hopefully we will get our tree up on Sunday. If it doesn't go up then, I don't know when it will go up because I have to come back here and start to clean out my parents' house the following weekend. I doubt I'll decorate outside this year, though. I just don't have the energy.

I'm so sorry for your losses

[ThursdayNext]

Pinkmint, I read your post and can't stop thinking about it. I will try not to write a book.

 

It sucks to not have to money to give people that you love the gifts you want to get them. It also sucks to have that money stress hanging on in the background, like a weight dragging you down. I hope and pray that you can put off that stress and have some peace and rest, if only for a little while.

 

We've been in that place, where the ends are not meeting. Where we had $15 per kid to spend. Where the grocery budget is tight enough that we could only make 3 kinds of cookies, because of the price of butter, sugar, chocolate. And you know, it was fine.

 

I grew up with not much, and previous generations of my family had even less. But we all LOVE Christmas. All the things we did that made memories, that's Christmas.

 

Reading about the prophecies of Jesus, and those Christmas devotionals.

Getting out the chipped nativity.

My grandma's old tacky decorations.

Going out in the snow on national forest land with our $3 tree permit to cut our own very imperfect Christmas tree. (That's something we can't do now, because we live in the wrong state.)

Baking cookies together.

Making homemade ornaments and decorations with things we have on hand. Like paper chains, snowflakes, cinnamon ornaments. No trips to the craft store.

Free printable nativity coloring pictures.

Taking time with the old hymn book (or YouTube if I have a cold) to teach the kids all those old Christmas carols.

Dancing around the house with "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree" at full blast.

Caroling to our neighbors, and caroling with friends in their neighborhood.

Getting tons and tons of Chistmas books from the library, and having the time to sit on the couch under a warm blanket and read them to the kids.

Getting free tree trimmings from Home Depot and using wire (or that baggie of twisty ties in my junk drawer) to make a fresh pine garland. Then snipping bits off trees at parks surreptitiously to add to it.

Lighting candles almost every day in December.

Taking time to hold my smallest child and picture Mary, giving birth to that most special baby, rocking him...

Going to some free Christmas concerts at local churches or in the square in town.

Hours and hours of card games and board games and cookie eating once we're on Christmas vacation.

Driving around to look at lights.

Buying only one container of eggnog, and really savoring it.

 

Time is something you can't buy. No matter how much money you have, you can't pick up "2 extra hours in the day reading to children" or "4 extra hours for assembling that gingerbread house with your wild brothers". The gift you give your kids of time with them, messy and loud and imperfect, is something irreplaceable.

 

I was talking to my Bible study ladies yesterday, and so many wish they could simplify Christmas. Most of them have money. But they are sick of the shopping and stuff stuff stuff. And one lady hates that Christmas is taken over by the American Girl Doll and accessories that her daughter is getting. But yet she can't stop.

 

In a way it's a gift to be opted out of that. (Is that way too Pollyanna? I'm talking to myself here, too, reminding myself of how to think.) When I read Laura Ingalls, those Christmases where it's so exciting to get a peppermint stick and a homemade doll, it gives me a warm glow.

 

By the way, my favorite Christmas picture books tend to be ones where people don't have a lot, but they discover the real magic of Christmas. Let me know if you want a list.

 

I also read part of Simplicity Parenting recently, which is reminding me that less is more. The kids, and us adults, enjoy those little things more when we have less. We have room to play, mental space to treasure that one special doll, more than if we had 15 of them. I just picture all that crap on the floor, all those plastic bits. I picture myself decluttering, and wonder what I will be eager to get rid of in the next 4 years. Then I try not to bring it in the house in the first place. ;)

 

Also, don't feel bad about spending time at home with your immediate family. If there are people in your life who will always be talking about what big things they are buying for their kids (and those kids who have to tell your kids about whatever cool loot they got), it's okay to avoid them a bit for December and January. Hang out with the people who want to just chill and watch movies and make cookies and make crafts out of their recycling bin stuff.

Edited December 8, 2016 by ThursdayNext

[Lecka]

I am sitting on the sidelines now, but I did shop on Black Friday.

 

Basically I have spent the amount I can spend and can't get anything else.

 

So I am seeing ads and sales and not able to get things, but it is not the same I know.

 

But I can commiserate as it is still hard for me to see the sales and think that they are good sales! I just will not be participating.

 

But that is okay, we are going to see family on both sides, and we are going to have a nice time.

 

I am telling myself that there will be more sales again next year. There are sales every year. There is nothing urgent about this year, the sales will be back. If I want I can do things differently next year and try to shop over the whole month. But realistically I do not have any reason to do that besides that I like shopping and I like getting a good deal. My list is not one where I need to spend a month shopping, it is actually a pretty short list with not much on it.

Edited December 8, 2016 by Lecka

[TechWife]

*hugs*

 

Don't rush yourself. Nobody expects you to be at 100% right after losing your parents. You just take things at whatever speed works best for you.

Thank you. I'm having a hard time with Christmas. My niece presented the family with a wish list for her children's Christmas the day after my mothers fatal stroke, as we were sitting with her at her bedside in hospice. She sent it as a group text and prefaced it with "I know we're all having a hard time, but Christmas is coming..."

 

The day of my mother's funeral, my nephew's wife followed me into a bedroom and said "Since I know you'll be asking, the boys need cases for the new tablets they are getting for Christmas."

 

I wish I were kidding. Yes, I am ignoring their requests for the time being. These folks are in their 30's, they should know better.

Edited December 10, 2016 by TechWife

[mommyoffive]

Thank you. I'm having a hard time with Christmas. My niece presented the family with a wish list for her children's Christmas the day after my mothers fatal stroke, as we were sitting with her at her bedside in hospice. She sent it as a group text and prefaced it with "I know we're all having a hard time, but Christmas is coming..."

 

The day of my mother's funeral, my nephew's wife followed me into a bedroom and said "Since I know you'll be asking, the boys need cases for the new tablets they are getting for Christmas."

 

I wish I were kidding. Yes, I am ignoring their requests for the time being. These folks are in their 30's, they should know better.

 

Wow.

 

I have no words.   That is so awful.  I am sorry you had to deal with that.

[maize]

Thank you. I'm having a hard time with Christmas. My niece presented the family with a wish list for her children's Christmas the day after my mothers fatal stroke, as we were sitting with her at her bedside in hospice. She sent it as a group text and prefaced it with "I know we're all having a hard time, but Christmas is coming..."

 

The day of my mother's funeral, my nephew's wife followed me into a bedroom and said "Since I know you'll be asking, the boys need cases for the new tablets they are getting for Christmas."

 

I wish I were kidding. Yes, I am ignoring their requests for the time being. These folks are in their 30's, they should know better.

Oh. My.

 

I am speechless.

[scrapbookbuzz]

Do what you can to make the day special. If you can do some extra groceries for a favorite meal, do that.

If not find other ways. Spend more time playing games, interacting. It really isn't about what you GET; it's supposed to 

be about GIVING. Give some extra time, extra attention. And for future reference, maybe change YOUR family's celebration

of Christmas to a time you know you'll have a little extra income coming in. Nobody said Christmas absolutely MUST be celebrated Dec. 25.

[Jenrae]

pinkmint...

 

We are actually making a few purchases this year for our adult children, grandchildren and young ones in the family, but it is the first time in two years. Due to unemployment, we found ourselves not spending a dollar unless it was considered a need. Thankfully my husband is now employed, but we are still struggling financially and are only making a few small purchases. It was difficult and we felt like scrooges, yet I know we had no other choice. My adult children were struggling as well, and were also grateful that we weren't exchanging gift and they didn't have to go shopping. Sometimes it is best just to enjoy the company of family and cherish the true meaning of Christmas.

 

Tech Wife....

 

I am so sorry for the great loss you have suffered. It is difficult enough to lose one parent and I can only imagine that losing both parents so closely is devastating. I will say a prayer for you.