I'm never cooking again.

[Allearia]

I'm sick of it. The kids won't eat what I make and my dh comes home late at weird hours. He doesn't like to take leftovers so they sit in the fridge until I throw them in the garbage.

 

Also, I buy nice fruits and vegetables like dh wants but then I end up throwing them away.

 

Okay, I know I am being a whiny little $!$!&!. I will probably get over it. Just had to vent to someone.

[Janie Grace]

No, that's legit. It's annoying to spend time and money on something that isn't consumed or appreciated. I'm sorry!

[MercyA]

Buy the fruits and veggies frozen. Just as nutritious and they keep until you need them. Thaw or steam in the microwave--no cooking required!

 

Figure out a few meals the kids will eat and just rotate those. 

 

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

 

 

[momacacia]

Yep, I get sick and tired of the kids whining and complaining, too,the faces. Yeah, I'm bitter. :(

[ElizabethB]

My kids cook most of their own meals amd have for a while, random home times for dad previously and I have food allergies, I have to eat things like quail, expensive and not easy to make kid friendly, or husband friendly, either, LOL.

 

Start home ec now!!!

[theelfqueen]

I had this rant today (We went out to lunch LOL) about how "I hate food. I hate cooking food. I hate being solely responsible for all food."

[Another Lynn]

Hear! Hear!   :cheers2:

[meena]

Totally, 100% agree.

 

I'm really trying to get my cooking mojo back, because I know it's better for us to eat fewer processed foods. Until then I've been taking the easy way out by grilling and making lot of sandwiches and salads.

[sunflowerlady]

:cheers2:  Standing in solidarity with you!

[kewb]

I pretty much stopped cooking for the family for awhile now. Dh is happy with pb & j for dinner. The kids complain about almost anything I make. So they are on their own for breakfast and lunch. I still make dinner most nights but forage night happens with some level of frequency.

[Tita Gidge]

Looks like we're all in good company. Sadly!

 

My brother lived with us when my older kids were young and in the whiny "I want to eat 'normal' food" phase. Normal meaning the American dinners their friends were eating, not our traditional dishes. The incessant comments about how "gross" our food was got to where I was going to dice up the kids and serve them to each other! My brother took over most of our meals because he was way less invested in their opinion of what he served. And he had this look that kept complaints to a minimum. He has a glass eye and they're never sure which one to look at :lol: and he freaks out the kids by playing it up.

 

Now when they get bad about complaining I send the older ones to the grocery store, tell the middle ones to make dinner and the younger ones to clean up. Then I treat myself to a meal out. Sometimes I'm mean and bring home evidence of where I was, or worse - a single serving dessert that I eat within slurping sound vicinity and refuse to share.Then I let them tell me how horrible their meal was LOL.

 

 

[AK_Mom4]

I'm cheering you on here!

 

I hate to cook.  I'm not good at it and even I dislike my cooking.  I have even managed to ruin perfectly good leftovers.  Fortunately, DH is a wonderful cook or my kids would have grown up with alternating between boxed mac and cheese, enchiladas and cold cereal.  Which is what the kids got served on those nights when DH was gone.....

 

Mine are all big enough to cook now and every one of them is a better cook than I will ever be.  If DH isn't cooking, then one of the kids cooks.  They all started learning about age 7 or 8 from their dad.

 

I happily do clean up and dishes.  That's my contribution.

[Guest]

I'm with you, and my family isn't even picky! Ugh.

[purplejackmama]

Allow me to help.

 

Here's the menu for this week: Cheerios or Frosted Flakes? (Served in paper bowls.)

 

Done.

[Garga]

I hate cooking, too. I was just talking to a friend about it just an hour ago.

 

When I mutter about how I hate cooking DH likes to sigh longingly and say, 'I love cooking. I wish I had time to cook.' Yeah right. It's not necessarily the cooking of a meal, it's all the other things you mentioned: the whining, the leftovers that only I will eat, the never-ending need for food that interupts the day, every day. Oh, and the grocery shopping! I won't even talk about the grocery shopping.

 

It drives me nuts when DH says that he wishes he could do the cooking because if there was any way to swing it so that we aren't eating dinner after the boys' bedtime, I'd totally hand the job off to him. He and I both wish he had the time to cook.

[mamiof5]

Not sure if this is a wwyd? I just have no tolerance for picky eaters. Plan a) kids get same for next meal B) pb and J until they get tired and appreciate what mom makes.

[Pawz4me]

Not sure if this is a wwyd? I just have no tolerance for picky eaters. Plan a) kids get same for next meal B) pb and J until they get tired and appreciate what mom makes.

 

I assume you've never had a child with sensory issues and/or ASD? My youngest (now 17) would quite happily live on PB sandwiches. Morning, noon and night. Week after week, month after month, year after year. But it wouldn't be very healthful for him.

 

Personally, I don't mind cooking. It's the planning what to cook and grocery shopping I hate with a fiery hot passion!

[SemiSweet]

I don't have picky eaters but the drudgery of planning and cooking gets to me. I enjoy cooking, just not every night. Fortunately dh acts as my sous chef and chops everything for me, and he or the kids do clean up, it makes it much more bearable. We tried home chef for the first time last night and that was really fun because it was something completely new.

[nevergiveup]

I would cook lovely lovely meals for myself.

And not let any of the ingrates have any.

[regentrude]

I hear you about the picky eating. My DS is extremely picky and a super taster, which makes cooking for the family way less fun than I'd find it otherwise. My solution is modular meals that have dishes he is willing to eat and other dishes he won't touch but that DH and I are enjoying. Just no casserole style things.

 

I'm sick of it. The kids won't eat what I make and my dh comes home late at weird hours. He doesn't like to take leftovers so they sit in the fridge until I throw them in the garbage.

 

Can you work the leftovers into the next meal? Or freeze them? Or cook smaller quantities to lessen the chance that there are leftovers?

 

 

 

Also, I buy nice fruits and vegetables like dh wants but then I end up throwing them away.

 

This one I don't understand: Why? If he wants them, why doesn't he eat them? Why don't you? Or buy less?

 

Good luck. It is frustrating to cook for people who do not appreciate it.

 

[Guest]

I hear ya on all those points. Especially the leftovers. I aim to make food in quantities that are unlikely to produce leftovers, unless it is something I know *I* will eat for lunch. But then, either the bigger males in the house ask why I didn't make more (and they ask this all whiny, as if they are going to starve) OR they strangely still eat conservatively and STILL produce leftovers!

 

If DH cooks, he cooks enough food for an army and it DRIVES ME INSANE. I tell him this a bazillion times: "Honey, please do not make gallons upon gallons of chicken soup because it lasts for a week, everyone gets tired of eating it, and I have to throw half of it away." But he does it again.

 

Also, I have this thing: I like the fridge clean and sparse. I hate it when it's crammed with stuff because I know, guarantee that stuff pushed to the back is forgotten and will be tossed. But I seem to be the only person with this aversion living here. I swear, if I clean it out and it's pristine and half-empty, DH will immediately make twenty gallons of soup so it will be crammed again.

 

Also despise grocery shopping.

 

And then I feel terribly guilty because I am complaining that we have too much food and I have to spend time buying it, storing it, cooking it, cleaning up after it, and throwing it away. First world, spoiled jerk that I am.

[73349]

I like grocery shopping.

 

I don't mind cooking, mostly.

 

I hate

- meal planning: the three of us all like/dislike different things, and I'm the only one who cares a bit for nutrition;

- not knowing when DH is going to get home;

- doing all the clean-up;

- storing and then discarding leftovers (though I will often eat them for lunch).

 

DS's solution to this problem would surely be Ice Cream for Dinner, while DH would rather shake things up and go to Taco Bell some nights :glare: . But that doesn't address nutrition (especially given what they'd like to eat at all other meals and snacks as well).

[skimomma]

I hear you!

 

I like cooking and think I am pretty good at it.  No one is picky in my house and everyone seems grateful for meals.  I am just SICK of cooking three meals every single day.

 

This happens every year right about now.  No produce is in season here yet so we are STILL eating root cellar stuff.  I am out of imagination.  There is only so much I can do with cabbage.  In another month, I will be cured.  I hope.

[regentrude]

 I am just SICK of cooking three meals every single day.

 

Why do you do that if you're sick of it? Cook one meal and serve two cold meals. Cold can be equally nutritious and healthful.

Edited June 25, 2016 by regentrude

[marbel]

Why do you do that if you're sick of it? Cook one meal and serve two cold meals. Cold can be equally nutritious and healthful.

 

Right!

 

It has been years since I've cooked 3 meals a day.  

 

Breakfast is fend for yourself, unless my husband is making waffles or french toast. 

 

Lunch is either a packed lunch for work, or fend for yourself - though on days when people are home I try to have decent stuff around so we don't just pull the bag of Aldi chicken fries out of the freezer and call it good.  (Yeah, I could stop keeping them around but they're good for true emergency meals.)

 

Dinner, I cook. I enjoy cooking.  But I hate the planning too, though it is so worth it to plan out meals.  My family is mostly not too picky except for the vegetarian who takes care of herself, mostly. 

 

Yesterday morning I looked at my husband in despair, begging for ideas for dinner.  Somehow he remembered that we had half of a pork tenderloin in the fridge from the night before.  "How about banh mi?"   Yes  yes yes thank you thank you thank you!    Amazingly, I had everything I needed (for one version I found).

 

They were delicious.  Thumbs up all around (except veggie girl who had something else, but would try it with tofu next time 'round).

 

Now if I would just put that on the calendar on a day, say, 2 weeks from now... I would have the start of a meal plan. 

 

Edited June 25, 2016 by marbel

[Lecka]

Having my husband text/call me as he leaves work has made a huge difference.

 

It is very stressful for him if he comes in and the living room is not picked up -- it just overwhelms him -- and I have no problem making sure it is picked up. But when? If it is picked up at 5:00 and he gets home at 8:30, there is bound to be something set out!

 

But if he will text/call, I know he is on his way!

 

If I am going to heat something up for him, I can have it started and ready when he gets out of the shower, if he will text/call.

 

I am super-nice when he remembers, and "what do you expect?" When he doesn't remember.

 

We have cycles when we do it more or less, and then if it gets to be less, at a certain point we go "oh, we should do that again, it works."

 

I personally feel the children need a stable meal time and evening routine, so I will not swing everything around based on my husband's time to get home.

 

I used to try this, and it just led to bad feelings.

 

My husband likes it better when we adjust the schedule to him, though! He would prefer that! So I try to make it pleasant on my side.

 

I cannot compare myself to women whose husband gets home the same time every day, and or 1-3 hours earlier. It is not apples to apples. If I try to fit myself into that box, I will only go crazy.

 

Something else that has helped at times is to do later trips to the park. It keeps the house clean if it is clean!!!!!!!! And it keeps me from feeling like I am just waiting for my husband to get home. The kids are more occupied and probably in a better mood.

 

And, if my husband has forgotten to text/call and we are not home when he gets home, he does get to come home to a clean (if empty) house, and he doesn't like it and so he is a lot more likely to text/call next time, and not just think I will be at home waiting on him (somehow this is just not a good dynamic for us).

 

My kids do well to go straight from the park to come in and take a bath. I go over with them in the car my expectations for them (where to take off clothes if they are sandy, to take a bath, pajamas, quiet/calm play etc). It actually can work out pretty well.

 

Edit: I am not saying my house is really clean, but I can pick up the living room where my husband comes through the door. It is just a thing with him -- it stresses him out! Where if he walks in and the living room looks nice, he won't notice other things.

Edited June 25, 2016 by Lecka

[skimomma]

Why do you do that if you're sick of it? Cook one meal and serve two cold meals. Cold can be equally nutritious and healthful.

 

I guess "cook" was the wrong word.  "Prepare" would be a better term.  Sometimes that is simply reheating leftovers or putting something cold on plates....then cleaning it all up.  Although, most of the year, it is hot food.  We live in a very cold climate, have an ancient house, and cannot keep the heat higher that 62 in the day.  Even in the summer we can have strings of 40-50 degree days.  Warm meals help keep us warm.

[J-rap]

If you cook stuff and people don't eat it all, immediately put it into the freezer.  Then you don't have to throw it out!  If it ends up soggy, put it into a soup.

 

 

[Janeway]

I feel the same way.

[Seasider]

Totally, 100% agree.

 

I'm really trying to get my cooking mojo back, because I know it's better for us to eat fewer processed foods. Until then I've been taking the easy way out by grilling and making lot of sandwiches and salads.

Similar here. I am just trying to focus on keeping "components" on hand and letting each person assemble their own meal plates. A grilled protein, some veggies, rice or quinoa, fruit... It's just not worth my time, sanity and $$$ to prepare special dishes anymore.

[JFSinIL]

Time for your kids to learn how to shop and cook, then.  Make it part of school (life skills class).   They have to come up with and make balanced meals that even YOU like ;-)

 

Hubby is kinda on his own if he won't eat stuff from the fridge.  Here, hubby can get home anytime between 6:30 and 8:00, depending on clients, traffic, and if he was at the office in Oak Park and driving home or had to commute into Chicago, and has to use the commuter train.  I simply aim to have hot food between 6:30 and 7, and if he isn't home within an hour of whatever I made being done, it goes into the 'fridge.

 

No point him texting before he heads home, as delays can occur on the road or Metra.

Edited June 25, 2016 by JFSinIL

[wintermom]

I'm sick of it. The kids won't eat what I make 

 

Then they must be getting food somewhere else (e.g., cereal, snack food, etc). Remove this avenue, and you'll have a better shot at them eating the fruit and veg.

[SparklyUnicorn]

Then they must be getting food somewhere else (e.g., cereal, snack food, etc). Remove this avenue, and you'll have a better shot at them eating the fruit and veg.

 

You'd think.  One of mine would get up in the middle of the night and eat dried pasta or whatever other weird thing he could find.

 

Only one of mine gives me a hard time though.

[bolt.]

I don't mind if my kids don't eat what I make, as long as they aren't being unkind about it. That's what really matters to me. If all they said was, "I don't really care for (this meal or item), is it ok if I substitute (easy access item from the same food group)?" -- I'd have no problem at all.

 

But the complaints and face-making: those are *not* going to fly.

[Guest2]

I've handed breakfast and lunch off to the kids to cook. If you have a freezer, you can freeze the fresh fruits and veggies for smoothies. We have them for breakfast probably 8 months of the year. I think my Mom puts her kale in ice trays so that it is easier to use. Every grocery store usually has organic frozen fruit too. Thre are some online recipes of frozen fruit popsicles. Just what you wanted, more food to prep-sorry.

 

For many years I cooked for picky eaters and it did turn out that food intolerances were involved. It is no fun,and I totally feel for you! Could you freeze leftovers and heat them up on a different day, maybe? Do they plan or shop with you? Sometimes that helped me, if they didn't shut down when I wouldn't put processed food on the list.

 

Garga- Your husband can precook dinners or do freezer cooking for a month on the weekends:). Then he can be happy and not be so jealous of your time to cook. Dinner does not need to be prepared at 5:00 pm. If he loves it, then he can cook tomoorrow's dinner after eating tonight's dinner. Everybody is happy.

 

It is amazing what more outdoor time and exercise will do for an appetite? Maybe those picky eaters might enjoy a swim, walk, week the garden, ect.."

 

Prepare what you like. I noticed I used to get burned out when I didn't make the foods I enjoyed. If they aren't going to be happy, at least you will? You can present good food. It is not your job to make big people eat it.

Edited June 25, 2016 by Silver Brook

[Allearia]

Thank you all, I feel a lot better knowing it's not just me. I always think I am the only one failing.

 

I do think reducing snacking before dinner would help. They have some healthy things they can make, one loves black beans and the other tilapia, or sandwiches, so that is a fall back.

 

I try to save the fruits and veggies for dh, and no one else likes salads that much, which results in things getting weird before he gets around to eating it. The kids sometimes like spinach salads with bacon and mozzarella, so maybe I can prepare that once a week.

 

I know there are different solutions and things I can try. I have tried a lot of them, and have a bunch of other ideas. But it is just overwhelming and discouraging. I recently made some new meals that the kids seemed to really like the first time I made them, but the next few times haven't eaten. I just threw away two containers of pulled pork that didn't get put in the freezer because dh was going to take some for lunch.

 

Also, if dh could try to come home at a reasonable time a couple times a week, or even tell me around 5 if he thinks he will be late, it would help a bunch. As it is, I call around 6:30, he says he didn't realize it was so late, then he doesn't get home until 8:00.

 

I really want to cook some more interesting meals, but right now maybe I just need to rotate a few things and make them eat fresh fruits and veggies, and call it good. I have been getting groceries delivered lately so at least I can avoid grocery shopping which I hate.

 

Right now maybe I will choose one thing to focus on, like not throwing away food. And not worry so much about trying new recipes. That may something I need to put off for the future.

Edited June 25, 2016 by Allearia

[SKL]

Similar here.  I keep wondering when kids got so picky.  When I was a kid there was no question, you just ate what was on your plate.  My kids think their order should be taken before I even decide what's for dinner.  More and more, I tell them to go make what they want and leave me out of it.

 

I know that's not supposed to be ideal for family life, but I think it's worse for the mom to work on a meal just to earn complaints.

 

I have rosy pictures in my mind of us all cooking together and eating together.  Sounds lovely.  Maybe someday.

[Allearia]

Okay, another vent about kids not eating what you make. I get the idea of they eat what you make or else. But I just didn't have the energy for that, and the few times I tried it was not pretty. So now I feel like I've failed them and doomed them to a life of picky unhealthy eating. So I just blame myself for that and feel worse.

 

And if you can tell me why ds14 loves fried frog legs and sushi and mussels but will not eat macaroni and cheese or roast beef, I'd love to hear it. The number of times I have sent back a hamburger because they put cheese on it, even though he likes the same exact cheese on his beans, is a pain. I guess they are true Bay Area kids.

[SparklyUnicorn]

FWIW, I enjoy cooking, but I could have written this same complaint MANY times. 

 

 

[hornblower]

I mostly stopped cooking as an actual chore years ago. Definitely teach the kids to cook and prepare their own meals. 
 
Everyone pretty much makes their own thing & will just say "hey, I'm making _____, should I make enough for you?" and that's about it.   I do tend to make sure the fridge is stocked & we rely on lots of buffet style meals where people forage what they want/like and skip the parts they don't. 


My dh makes about 90% of his meals.

& btw, I'm almost 50 and have ALWAYS been picky, and still am.  The idea that kids weren't picky in some past time is just a myth.  

[SparklyUnicorn]

 The idea that kids weren't picky in some past time is just a myth.  

 

So so true! 

[regentrude]

Okay, another vent about kids not eating what you make. I get the idea of they eat what you make or else. But I just didn't have the energy for that, and the few times I tried it was not pretty. So now I feel like I've failed them and doomed them to a life of picky unhealthy eating. So I just blame myself for that and feel worse.

 

And if you can tell me why ds14 loves fried frog legs and sushi and mussels but will not eat macaroni and cheese or roast beef, I'd love to hear it. The number of times I have sent back a hamburger because they put cheese on it, even though he likes the same exact cheese on his beans, is a pain. I guess they are true Bay Area kids.

 

No, it is not your fault. 

The standard parenting advice of "they eat what is served or they won't get food" or "hide the vegetables in the pasta sauce" must come from parents with children who are either less strong willed or have less developed taste buds than one of mine.

I have a picky eater who is probably a super taster and he can taste if the meat has touched a carrot. I kid you not. He would also starve himself if I made eating into a power struggle; this is the child who at age five refused to eat for three days because he did not like the taste of the tooth paste and thought if he stopped eating he would not need to brush his teeth. I see no healthy eating habits develop when meals are a war zone. 

 

No, some kids cannot be bribed, coaxed, forced, threatened, convinced. They are picky eaters and may have lifelong aversions against certain foods. It can be texture, or some things just taste bitter to some people.

The good news though: it gets better. The child who would only eat plain pasta (no sauce, no cheese) and could never eat out can now eat pasta with a variety of sauces and will quietly move the offending ingredient of a restaurant meal to the side and eat the acceptable parts. He still eats limited foods, but he is healthy and fit.

 

My way of dealing with it was acceptance. Yes, it is boring to have to make sure DS will eat a component of the meal; it means there has to be rice or pasta and some meat, fish, or eggs. Adding beef stew with veggies to the repertoire last winter was a huge step. So, rice and protein it is. I add a big salad or nice colorful stir fry for DH and me. Balanced meal. The boy will just eat a few apples as snacks. And whenever he is not eating at home, I use the opportunity to cook something DH and I enjoy but he would dislike.

In the big picture, it is not an actual problem. It is a minor annoyance not worth making a big issue out of.

 

Hugs. Lose the guilt.

Edited June 25, 2016 by regentrude

[SKL]

I think maybe modern society should just redefine "family dinner" and accept that times have changed.  I have been "unconventional" in this regard for years now, and shockingly nobody is unhealthy around here.  In fact, my kids are starting to make healthy choices without prompting, which I probably wouldn't do at their age.  They are also learning to cook earlier than they would if they just accepted whatever I put before them.  They're not caught off balance when we make last-minute changes to our schedule.  And we have one less thing to get testy about when everyone is spent and hungry.  :)

[Tita Gidge]

I really think that sometimes aversions are our body's way of protecting us.

 

My whole family is lactose intolerant so we don't really "do" milk; I never bought it or offered it to my kids. My ex-husband grew up on a farm and his main beverage of choice was/is cow or goat milk.  He drinks it with meals, he drinks it with snacks, he drinks it before bed. He didn't care that I kept the kids off of milk but his mother had Very Big Concerns about the kids not getting enough ...  whatever, calcium, protein, MILK. Most of my kids would just drink it at her house, choking it down because they didn't like the taste or texture but not wanting to make a scene. But one kid just refused. He'd get so upset when they tried to force milk on him that he'd vomit. Then he'd get in trouble for making a mess and for being "dramatic."

 

Later we found out that he has a milk protein allergy. He was vomiting as a physiological reaction. They didn't even have the courtesy to feel badly.  

 

Sometimes picky eaters are just that: picky. Or spoiled. Or bratty. But sometimes picky eaters are just as confused/frustrated/unsure as we are about why they have the food or eating issues they do. Since "why" doesn't matter to a kid, they just run with it by following their body's cues. It's probably done them more good than harm for this group of picky eaters to be so picky!

[Garga]

I'm a picky eater. A large number of food just simply taste horrible to me, or the texture makes me gag. Always been this way. My parents didn't coddle me at all. I had to sit there until the plate was cleared, every night. I sat there for hours a lot of times. I just couldn't bear to put that horrible stuff in my mouth and eat it. It was pure misery. I'd have loved to have been told to prepare something else for myself.

 

One of my kids is very picky. The other is somewhat picky. I'm trying to strike a balance between what I had as a kid and totally catering to them. We've finally settled on 6 dinners that everyone can stand (me, ds13 and ds11--dh loves everything). We rotate through those 6 dinners week after week. One of these days one of us (and it's just as likely to be me as anyone else) is going to start to hate one or more of those 6 dinners. I'll have to worry about that later. Ds13 is already starting to pick at the tilapia more than eat it.

 

In the past year, the boys have learned how to make their own breakfasts entirely on their own and recently they've learned the last of the lunches. (We cycle through 3 different lunches.). LIBERATING!!!!

 

And for a home ec credit for high school, my ds13 is learning how to cook all 6 of those dinners that we all eat. By the time summer is over, I should be able to say to him, "DS13, make the chinese beef for us, please, while I sit on the couch watching tv," and he'll be able to do it!

 

(I won't really be able to sit on the couch, but a girl can dream, yes?)

Edited June 25, 2016 by Garga

[SKL]

We've finally settled on 6 dinners that everyone can stand (me, ds13 and ds11--dh loves everything). We rotate through those 6 dinners week after week.

 

I think this is what my mom did.  With my kids, they will like something and we'll have it again, but by the 3rd time, someone will no longer touch it.  It's frustrating.  But, at the same time, my picky kid is getting more willing to "try new things."  Can't have everything I guess.  :P

[kbutton]

I totally agree.

 

I had texture issues as a kid, and I was super-smeller. If someone cooked broccoli or cauliflower in my house, it made me want to vomit for hours. I still can't stand any smell involving clams. Ugh. 

 

We have to work around food and food additive intolerances, oral allergy syndrome (which is emerging/changing), and a child with oral motor problems (major fatigue while eating, food not chewed much at all even after excessive work). Ironically, my ASD kiddo is an amazing eater--I think he's a sensory seeker in this regard!

 

We have had to work around a very unconventional schedule for my husband, though that is better than it was.

 

It's completely okay to do what you must to make eating bearable for your family.

 

No, it is not your fault. 

The standard parenting advice of "they eat what is served or they won't get food" or "hide the vegetables in the pasta sauce" must come from parents with children who are either less strong willed or have less developed taste buds than one of mine.

I have a picky eater who is probably a super taster and he can taste if the meat has touched a carrot. I kid you not. He would also starve himself if I made eating into a power struggle; this is the child who at age five refused to eat for three days because he did not like the taste of the tooth paste and thought if he stopped eating he would not need to brush his teeth. I see no healthy eating habits develop when meals are a war zone. 

 

No, some kids cannot be bribed, coaxed, forced, threatened, convinced. They are picky eaters and may have lifelong aversions against certain foods. It can be texture, or some things just taste bitter to some people.

The good news though: it gets better. The child who would only eat plain pasta (no sauce, no cheese) and could never eat out can now eat pasta with a variety of sauces and will quietly move the offending ingredient of a restaurant meal to the side and eat the acceptable parts. He still eats limited foods, but he is healthy and fit.

 

My way of dealing with it was acceptance. Yes, it is boring to have to make sure DS will eat a component of the meal; it means there has to be rice or pasta and some meat, fish, or eggs. Adding beef stew with veggies to the repertoire last winter was a huge step. So, rice and protein it is. I add a big salad or nice colorful stir fry for DH and me. Balanced meal. The boy will just eat a few apples as snacks. And whenever he is not eating at home, I use the opportunity to cook something DH and I enjoy but he would dislike.

In the big picture, it is not an actual problem. It is a minor annoyance not worth making a big issue out of.

 

Hugs. Lose the guilt.

 

[BooksandBoys]

I say this all the time, but due to food allergies/intolerances/diabetes/sensory issues (not all in the same people, thankfully), I can't quit cooking. I do keep it simple and I give more than I used to just to get people to eat (maple syrup on eggs, more dessert bribery). Children are occasionally dismissed from the table until they can express their disgust in a more polite tone.

 

For dinners, I cook a meat, a starch, and a veggie. My DH wants more interesting food, like curries, stir fries, Indian dishes, soups, but I can't tolerate working that hard so that my kids refuse to eat, Abd my kids will not eat anything mixed up or interesting. If they refuse to eat, I have to cook MORE so they have something safe to eat. Nope. In compromise, DH occasionally cooks an interesting meal (and sings his own cooking praises as he does :-)), and makes a kid-friendly meat and starch at the same time. But for everyday survival, I can't cook double meals, so we keep it simple.

 

I also aim to only cook only 4 nights a week, making enough food to provide leftovers for the other 3 nights (we don't have the budget for eating out or take out). This helps me So Much (especially now that my kids are starting to learn how to help reheat leftovers). It took me several years to get good at this, but by now, I can easily do it most of the time. 3 cups of rice is 1.5 meals worth, 10 potatoes provides potatoes for an extra half a meal, 2.5 pounds of chicken gives us two meals. I just cook a lot when I cook so that I don't have to cook as often. And frozen veggies all the way, all the time. I steam, microwave, or roast, but it all starts out frozen!

[Caviar]

Wow!  This thread makes me feel so much better!  I have always hated to cook!  I actually don't mind the grocery shopping, as long as I only have to have one child with me!  But, when I've got all three with me, I just usually end up upset at everyone, and they're upset at me for taking so long, etc....  My dh is definitely a better cook than me, but after a day at work the last thing he wants to do is come home and cook.  I have always been a picky eater, and I ended up with three picky eaters (dh will eat almost anything).  My oldest sister was one who, if the kid didn't eat their meal, it would go back in the fridge and come out again for the next meal (and I don't think it even got warmed up, and it kept going back in the fridge and coming back out for the next meal until the kid would eat it!).  None of her children are picky eaters.  Well, I just couldn't do that to my kids, being a picky eater myself.  I do gag on food, and I have a very heightened gag reflex.  One of my dc had a tracheostomy for 8 years, and had been in hospitals a lot, with doctors and nurses always coming at her with this medicine or this swallow test, etc.... That child ALMOST went to the hospital several times due to dehydration because of refusing to drink unless it was from a bottle (finally stopped drinking from a bottle at age 5).  That child had oral aversions that took several years to work through, but that's very common for a child with a trach.  She also has a tongue that slips back farther in her throat than normal which causes dysphagia.  She still often has to chew with her mouth slightly open and makes a bit of a smacking noise, but it can't be helped due to the dysphagia, as she has to over-compensate.  My ds likely has the same issues as they both have a very rare condition.  Ok, all that to say, I do cater to them quite often, because there's no way I'm going to force them to eat something, only to have to clean up the mess from someone upchucking because they don't like it or want it, or the texture just is not for them.  For goodness sakes, I still can't stand a mouthful of peas, but put the peas in a chicken pot pie and I'm fine.  Cottage cheese is even worse!

[Lizzie in Ma]

I feel you! :cheers2:

 

Breakfast and lunch are fend for yourselves except that I pack one for dh and I for work.

Dinner, I am so tired of cooking.  I always feel fabulous when I throw stuff in the crockpot in the morning and it makes dinner for me. 

Dh and oldest eat whatever I make and are grateful for it, so I guess that's something.

Youngest eats about 3 things so she always cooks for herself.

I'd be happy with popcorn and a glass of wine myself.