How Old for Sibling to Supervise Two Year Old Outside?

[MrsWeasley]

We have an unfenced yard that includes a pond, a pretty quiet private road, and abutts a forest preserve. I also have a 2.5 year old. Would you let an older sibling supervise the 2.5 year old outside without you? If so, at what age? You can see most parts of the yard from different parts of the house, but not all of them. The 2.5 year old does not routinely respond to being called.

[JenneinCA]

I think that I would be uncomfortable with the two year old being outside under those circumstances without an adult. And that would be an adult within arms reach. The risk of drowning or the risk of getting lost in the forest would make me very nervous. I understand that this might not be popular or normal, but I have major issues with possible drowning.

[Pawz4me]

I don't think it's so much a specific age thing as it is a maturity/being responsible and conscientious thing. So it's hard to say "x" years old. But I think I would be inclined to do the supervising myself for another year or two.

[SKL]

It looks like your kids are around 9 and 6.  I'd definitely let a 9yo supervise his 2.5yo sibling in my yard.  A 6yo only if s/he is pretty reliable, or for very short time periods.

 

FTR I let my 2yos play in our backyard (which abuts a woods and a ravine) without any older person being physically there.  But I would be checking on them frequently through the window.  They were good about staying within boundaries.  So it really depends on the kids.

[barnwife]

Well, we have a 5.5 yo, 4 yo, and 2.5 yo. They play outside together all the time. I can see a good chunk of our land (handful of acres) from the house. They know they need to stay in the areas I can see (unless I know they are in the goat pasture, which I can only see part of).

We don't have a pond though.

I don't want to make the oldest responsible for siblings, but I do want to teach them to watch out for others. So far it comes naturally.

I go out and play a little. Then I say "Okay, now I need 10 minutes to work on dinner. Yell if you need me." And off I go.

 

[East Coast Sue]

My experience tells me not to put this type of responsibility on a sibling unless they have very good attention and some desire (maybe through compensation) to supervise the toddler. The age can really vary but typically the sibling should be 12 yrs old. Maybe a 10 yr old could handle very limited supervision responsibilities (10-15 minutes at a time). I think kids can easily lose their attention and end up playing while the toddler wanders away or into danger.

[regentrude]

I am usually very relaxed about stuff like this, but you wrote the word pond.

I  would not let a 2 y/o be close to a body of water without adult or older teen supervision.

I would not put that much responsibility on a sibling who is out there playing too.

Edited April 15, 2016 by regentrude

[SparklyUnicorn]

I'd be worried about the pond.  So the sibling would have to be older and able to swim.  So maybe 14/15. 

 

 

[JudoMom]

I am usually very relaxed about stuff like this, but you wrote the word pond.

I  would not let a 2 y/o be close to a body of water without adult or older teen supervision.

I would not put that much responsibility on a sibling who is out there playing too.

 

:iagree:

[hornblower]

Not until the sibling is of legal babysitting age, and has done a babysitting course and has agreed to take on this duty.  

It's possible that a child younger than that might really *want* to look after the toddler. I have known kids who just love to look after littles and would be begging to do it & then I might go younger - but only gradually and only after I'd satisfied myself that the older child is not likely to just wander off and get engaged in their own game. 

And not if the 2.5 yo is not very compliant or likes to run off.  

[redsquirrel]

It's the pond.  I would almost be ok with the 9 year old...but not with a pond and a 2.5 year old. 

 

With a pond I wouldn't allow unsupervised play until kids could swim.  Just responding to being called doesn't mean that a kid is ok around a pond.  A friend almost lost her 5 year old to a pond.  I can hardly think about it still.

[Loowit]

I think I would be comfortable with a teen who could swim well and was trained in aquatic rescue, if they are comfortable with supervising.  Otherwise, ponds are not something I would be comfortable leaving a young child around.  In a regular yard without a pond or other water, I think it would depend on the responsibility level of the child watching rather than an exact age.

[AndyJoy]

My qualifications would be that the older sibling were:

 

Willing and able to have his/her attention on the toddler the whole time, not get distracted with playing

 

Willing and physically able to catch and pick up/carry the toddler if needed

 

Mature enough to anticipate and head off/redirect dangerous behaviors.

 

So this would vary, but I would guess about 12 would be my minimum.

 

I let my kids 6.5 and 2.5 play in our fenced back yard and unfenced front yard (with the door open), but the pond and woods are problematic IMO. When I was 17 I was a camp counselor and we had a scare with an angry 8-year-old running off into the woods. Fortunately I found/caught him but it took a while. If I hadn't been actively watching him and he'd slipped off it would have been scary.

[Carrie12345]

I *might* let my stb13 or stb14yos watch a 2.5yo under those circumstances. It would depend on the 2.5yo.

 

I've let kids as young as 5 or 6 play outside with toddlers, but would never do that in an area with water.

[lllll]

nm

Edited April 18, 2016 by _kathy_

[Spryte]

We have a pond. I wouldn't feel comfortable with that. Our pond access is fenced off though, so I can say, "don't open the gate," and they don't. Right now the rule is that no one under 9 plays near the pond without an adult. Is there a fence?

 

We live at the end of a quiet cul de sac, and there is a family that routinely lets their 3 yr old come play unsupervised. Ostensibly the 6 and 9 yr old siblings are watching him. Ummmm. No. It doesn't pan out that way. I either have to supervise, send them home, or deal with the consequences of an unsupervised 3 yr old in my yard. Want to know what happens? All dirt gets removed from planters and spread around our gazebo. Our landscaping lights are dismantled. Nothing awful, but not stuff my 4 and 12 yr olds would do. There are occasional boo boos and tears, of course.

 

If you do it, set up clear boundaries, make it for short periods of time, keep an eye out, and maybe get a walkie talkie. Even then, I think it's too much for a 6 yr old. The 9 yr old - really depends on maturity. I wouldn't ask my kid to do it, when he was 9.

Edited April 15, 2016 by Spryte

[Hypatia.]

It's primarily the pond that makes me uncomfortable, and potentially the unfenced yard.

 

My DD1 (9) is fine supervising my 1.5 year old in our backyard, but it is fenced and there is no pond. 

[Tanaqui]

With a pond? The kid would have to be much older, and I'd have to really trust they wouldn't get caught up in something else. I'm assuming the pond isn't fenced either.

 

With kids your kids' ages, the most I'd do is have the eldest watch the baby while I popped in for a potty break. I'm pretty free range, but with a pond? No.

[catz]

You lost me at pond. In that case unless the sibling was babysitting age and trained, I would not allow that. Especially since this is a 2 year old that doesn't respond to being called regularly.

[Tsuga]

We have an unfenced yard that includes a pond, a pretty quiet private road, and abutts a forest preserve. I also have a 2.5 year old. Would you let an older sibling supervise the 2.5 year old outside without you? If so, at what age? You can see most parts of the yard from different parts of the house, but not all of them. The 2.5 year old does not routinely respond to being called.

 

2.5 would only be supervised by a child being compensated to babysit, who had shown the responsibility to do so and was interested in earning money for the work. I wouldn't have them lightly supervise the child. So, I guess 14 for most kids, with CPR training, though we allowed the step kids at 12 to supervise older kids. No pond or pool, no bath time.

 

We don't ask our older kids to "supervise" the other kids. Either they are playing together (which would not cover the situation you're describing) or the older kids are paid for babysitting at the standard teen rate.

 

OTOH I would let a four - five year old be outdoors with a nine year old within boundaries.

 

2.5 + pond + road = this is not a child's job.

Edited April 15, 2016 by Tsuga

[MistyMountain]

I wouldn't because of the pond and the unfenced yard. I let my kids play in my yard at that age when my youngest was 2 but I wouldn't let them play where there is a pond, a road or other hazards. 9 year olds are still kids and do not have the same level of vigilance as an adult or an older teenager that was responsible.

Edited April 15, 2016 by MistyMountain

[happi duck]

Because of the pond I would *not* put supervision on the shoulders of a child.

 

Is the forest preserve public? If so, that also gives me pause.

[Scarlett]

The pond. No. Just no. Fence the yard.

[heartlikealion]

Nope. Sometimes my kids get into it when I leave them together while I'm just using the bathroom lol  (all of us inside the house). I have a 1yr old and a 7 (nearly 8) year old. Even in a couple of years I don't know if the maturity is there for certain things. Definitely not with the pond and forest. It wasn't long ago that I read about a child lost in the woods. The child entered the woods with a sibling and adult, but ran off or hid. The child was not found for days and died :( http://hollywoodlife.com/2016/01/22/noah-chamberlin-dead-missing-2-year-old-boy-found-in-woods

 

If the toddler ran into the woods, what would the sibling do? Get you or run deeper into the woods looking for the toddler? Too much pressure. Same with the pond. I wouldn't expect a child to dive in and be able to lift another child out. And running back to get you would cost time.

Edited April 15, 2016 by heartlikealion

[SparklyUnicorn]

Yeah and I'd worry about the sibling not wanting to really pay attention or momentarily not paying attention.  It would only take a moment. 

 

 

[Jean in Newcastle]

12 +

[gardenmom5]

I might allow a *responsible* 10yo to supervise for a short period.  maybe 15- 20 minutes.  no more.   I've known some super responsible 10yos - and other's who still weren't as responsible at 15.

[maize]

I would not want a two year old out near a pond without adult supervision.

 

Though looking back at my own childhood we all played in and around irrigation ditches.

[MrsWeasley]

The pond. No. Just no. Fence the yard.

 

I would love to fence the yard, or even a portion of the yard, but due a complicated legal situation, I can't do that right now. 

[MrsWeasley]

Nope. Sometimes my kids get into it when I leave them together while I'm just using the bathroom lol  (all of us inside the house). I have a 1yr old and a 7 (nearly 8) year old. Even in a couple of years I don't know if the maturity is there for certain things. Definitely not with the pond and forest. It wasn't long ago that I read about a child lost in the woods. The child entered the woods with a sibling and adult, but ran off or hid. The child was not found for days and died :( http://hollywoodlife.com/2016/01/22/noah-chamberlin-dead-missing-2-year-old-boy-found-in-woods

 

If the toddler ran into the woods, what would the sibling do? Get you or run deeper into the woods looking for the toddler? Too much pressure. Same with the pond. I wouldn't expect a child to dive in and be able to lift another child out. And running back to get you would cost time.

 

I'm only really thinking about my nine year old. My nine year old knows these woods very well, and I let her play in a section close to our home unsupervised regularly with a cell phone. If the tot ran off, yes, I'd want her to run after her brother and call me when she caught him. She might not be able to drag him back, but she could restrain him and call me. There's a GPS on the phone even if she somehow managed to wander somewhere she couldn't find her way back, but it's a very small forest preserve, so even if she was in an out-of-bounds section, she probably would know how to get back.

 

My biggest hesitancy is the pond. It's not really the kind of pond you dive in, unless they were on it when it froze over and fell through the ice. She can swim, but not well enough I'd think she could help her brother. I have no real thought of letting the tot out during the winter anyway. The pond is more like a zero depth pool, where he'd have to wade for a while for it to get deep.  But children can drown in very shallow water very quickly.

 

I don't worry about her not minding him. She's very attentive and nurturing to him and begs to take him with her outside. I wouldn't consider it if she wasn't consistently bugging me to let her do it. I worry more about him not minding her. He's two. He doesn't do a great job of minding me.

Edited April 15, 2016 by MrsWeasley

[Bluegoat]

I might let my ten year old.  It would depend a bit on how things were arranged and such.  Like the others, the pond would be a concern for me.

 

If I were going to try this, and I have done with my kids in the past, I would start with short times, maybe where I could supervise without them realizing.

[ErinE]

Only a responsible adult or lifeguard-trained teen with a pond. The consequences of momentary distraction are too great to bear for a sibling. It's takes just a few minutes for a child to drown.

[ErinE]

FYI, my toddler has tripped in wading depth water. He couldn't get his feet underneath himself to stand up. Had I not been standing right next to him, he would have inhaled water or drowned.

[imagine.more]

With a pond only a very responsible and/or CPR-trained 16-year old or older. I am very nervous about bodies of water and toddlers, having had a toddler jump into a pool when I was babysitting (we got him right away, but I was completely traumatized that it even happened despite myself and my MIL watching him so closely). 

 

In an unfenced yard not near a major road and not near a pond I'd let a 10 year old and up watch a toddler.

 

In a fenced yard with no obvious dangers I would let a 7-8 year old 'watch' a toddler while I was in the house prepping dinner or going to the bathroom or working near the window. 

[imagine.more]

I'm only really thinking about my nine year old. My nine year old knows these woods very well, and I let her play in a section close to our home unsupervised regularly with a cell phone. If the tot ran off, yes, I'd want her to run after her brother and call me when she caught him. She might not be able to drag him back, but she could restrain him and call me. There's a GPS on the phone even if she somehow managed to wander somewhere she couldn't find her way back, but it's a very small forest preserve, so even if she was in an out-of-bounds section, she probably would know how to get back.

 

My biggest hesitancy is the pond. It's not really the kind of pond you dive in, unless they were on it when it froze over and fell through the ice. She can swim, but not well enough I'd think she could help her brother. I have no real thought of letting the tot out during the winter anyway. The pond is more like a zero depth pool, where he'd have to wade for a while for it to get deep.  But children can drown in very shallow water very quickly.

 

I don't worry about her not minding him. She's very attentive and nurturing to him and begs to take him with her outside. I wouldn't consider it if she wasn't consistently bugging me to let her do it. I worry more about him not minding her. He's two. He doesn't do a great job of minding me.

 

I think in this situation I wouldn't. Any chance you could install a fence sometime? 

 

Even without the pond I think with just an unfenced yard and woods I'd want any caretaker to be able to physically pick up and bring the toddler back home or away from danger if needed. This is part of why DD14 is allowed to take her little sister on a walk and DS7 is not.....DS7 is easily as responsible or more than DD14 but physically he cannot pick up younger kids competently. 

 

My experience of 2 year olds is like yours....they barely mind me, never mind a sibling, LOL! 

 

Maybe in a couple years he'll be mature enough to mind her and she'll be more physically capable of watching him. Then they can have their forest adventures all day long :) I understand the desire, especially since she so wants him to share that fun with her. 

[Tsuga]

I'm only really thinking about my nine year old. My nine year old knows these woods very well, and I let her play in a section close to our home unsupervised regularly with a cell phone. If the tot ran off, yes, I'd want her to run after her brother and call me when she caught him. She might not be able to drag him back, but she could restrain him and call me. There's a GPS on the phone even if she somehow managed to wander somewhere she couldn't find her way back, but it's a very small forest preserve, so even if she was in an out-of-bounds section, she probably would know how to get back.

 

My biggest hesitancy is the pond. It's not really the kind of pond you dive in, unless they were on it when it froze over and fell through the ice. She can swim, but not well enough I'd think she could help her brother. I have no real thought of letting the tot out during the winter anyway. The pond is more like a zero depth pool, where he'd have to wade for a while for it to get deep.  But children can drown in very shallow water very quickly.

 

I don't worry about her not minding him. She's very attentive and nurturing to him and begs to take him with her outside. I wouldn't consider it if she wasn't consistently bugging me to let her do it. I worry more about him not minding her. He's two. He doesn't do a great job of minding me.

 

I think it is too much responsibility in the worst case scenario. 

 

My nine year old, almost ten, asks to watch her seven year old sister after school. We live in a safe (but of course not risk-free) neighborhood, she's moody but thoughtful, etc.

 

I have repeatedly told her no, that I love her too much to give her that kind of responsibility which comes with stress. 

 

I understand that it seems like an easy solution but I would say no, indoors only. Baby is too little to be watched by anyone other than a qualified sitter, and as for a babysitting-near-a-pond situation, CPR and swimming skills are a must.

 

I know in "the old days" girls would watch their siblings, but (a) a lot of kids were injured and worse that way and (b) many of those girls grew up too fast.

 

Give your daughter a hug for me, will you, and tell her she can sign up for the babysitting class at the Y as soon as she's ready.

[Upennmama]

Really depends on the kids. I would trust my 9 year old but not my 8 year old, but probably my 7 year old.

[ktgrok]

I am usually very relaxed about stuff like this, but you wrote the word pond.

I  would not let a 2 y/o be close to a body of water without adult or older teen supervision.

I would not put that much responsibility on a sibling who is out there playing too.

 

Yup. Pond changes everything. No way. Only adult supervision. It take only second to drown. 

[Baile]

At 2 and 9, I wouldn't do it, just because of the pond. Maybe at 4 and 11.

[AimeeM]

Nope. Not even an adult who wasn't very familiar with the surroundings and the 2.5 year old, much less another child (no matter how old the other child is). Not around a pond. I don't screw around with water.

 

Without the water? My oldest was watching her much younger brother outside, in our unfenced front yard, by the time she was about 11-12.

[lllll]

nm

Edited April 18, 2016 by _kathy_

[happypamama]

I would let my 14 and 11yos watch a 2yo in that circumstance.  Probably not my 7yo, although my 7yo is very aware and everything (moreso than most 7yo).  The pond and woods are what concern me.

[heartlikealion]

I'm only really thinking about my nine year old. My nine year old knows these woods very well, and I let her play in a section close to our home unsupervised regularly with a cell phone. If the tot ran off, yes, I'd want her to run after her brother and call me when she caught him. She might not be able to drag him back, but she could restrain him and call me. There's a GPS on the phone even if she somehow managed to wander somewhere she couldn't find her way back, but it's a very small forest preserve, so even if she was in an out-of-bounds section, she probably would know how to get back.

 

My biggest hesitancy is the pond. It's not really the kind of pond you dive in, unless they were on it when it froze over and fell through the ice. She can swim, but not well enough I'd think she could help her brother. I have no real thought of letting the tot out during the winter anyway. The pond is more like a zero depth pool, where he'd have to wade for a while for it to get deep.  But children can drown in very shallow water very quickly.

 

I don't worry about her not minding him. She's very attentive and nurturing to him and begs to take him with her outside. I wouldn't consider it if she wasn't consistently bugging me to let her do it. I worry more about him not minding her. He's two. He doesn't do a great job of minding me.

 

I see. But what if the phone was dropped and lost or the tot was lost/not answering his sibling? There's no GPS on the tot's shoes etc I'd assume. The fact that it's not a very large wooded area makes it better at least. But again with the water, I guess any amount of water is a danger as it only takes a little.

 

I'd lean toward the "if you can't pick the tot up, you're too young" line of thinking in an area that might have animals or insects that could be a harm. If the tot stepped in an ant hill or such, you'd want the older sibling to be able to lift them and move them easier. But if animals and insects aren't a huge concern I guess it's just a combination of other things that would worry me. Unfenced is enough for me to worry so I might be at one extreme of the worry chart LOL

 

[Tanaqui]

There's no GPS on the tot's shoes etc I'd assume.

 

There are small GPS trackers you can clip onto your child's shoes, belt loop, backpack, etc. If your child getting lost is a real risk - or if you simply worry - they're cheap enough.

 

[ktgrok]

I'd worry the 9 yr old would see something really cool, like a snake/squirrel/butterfly and watch it for a few minutes, then turn and find the two year old was face down in the pond, after wading in and stumbling. It can happen that fast. So no. 

[Guest]

No pond? No problem. I let my own kids wander around and have had the five year old outside alone with the preschooler and no issues.

 

Pond? Hell no. Maybe 14? If they were being charged directly with supervision? Water is nothing to fool around with.

[Caroline]

I'd worry the 9 yr old would see something really cool, like a snake/squirrel/butterfly and watch it for a few minutes, then turn and find the two year old was face down in the pond, after wading in and stumbling. It can happen that fast. So no.

And it will happen without any noise, too.

[waa510]

At the youngest age, probably a teen like 14 or 15. But my kids tended to be *very* intense and high-needs as toddlers and my tween is a total space cadet sometimes. 

[fdrinca]

It's the pond that's causing me problems.

 

We have a tiny backyard with one of those small fake ponds (3 feet diameter, 2 feet deep?) It's supposed to be empty but fills in the rain, and that amount of water makes me nervous to have my 2.5 YO play without adult-ish supervision.

[Katy]

In a safely fenced back yard, with the windows open?  Maybe 10 or 12.  Maybe.  But not mine, because they all have ADHD.

 

Definitely not when there are serious hazards nearby like water.  Neither the adult in charge nor the sibling "watching" them should have to deal with that sort of guilt.