Two Under Two

[Kristie in Florida]

I'm trying not to freak out.

 

Logistically, how do you mother two under two?

 

Does the infant car seat go in the middle of the back seat, or does the toddler's convertible seat? Right now the toddler sits in the middle and I need to put the infant seat in there soon.

 

We are taking the month after the birth off from school, and longer if I need it, but do you have any tips? She is already doing a lot of independent work.

 

I'm just envisioning lots of screaming and crying during the day. Unpatience. The four of us. My toddler is clingy. My infant will need all of me. I won't sleep more than an hour or few at a time. My daughter will... actually, I think she will be fine. She was amazing after the toddler was born.

 

All those diapers. My son isn't ready to be trained yet.

 

I just... didn't mean to have my last two so close. I don't know how you other mothers do it. Help.

Edited January 22, 2016 by Kristie in Florida

[maize]

It's hard for sure, but not impossible :)

 

On car seats, I've always put the infant in the middle.

 

My 12 year old has really enjoyed the most recent baby.

[fairfarmhand]

One day at a time, momma. It'll be okay. I promise.

[medawyn]

It's not so bad!  My first two were 20 months apart, and now at 35 and 14 months are starting to have a lot of fun together.  I'm not going to promise that it'll be your most patient season in life, but it does all work itself out.  (And don't judge the next year by the first 6 weeks.  I think those are just always hard, no matter what baby number it is or how close they are in age.)

 

As far as logistics go, I had the toddler rear facing in his convertible seat in the middle, and the infant seat in the passenger side.  I could get a good install easily that way, and it is definitely easier to get the infant in and out.  I did a lot of baby wearing and much less toting of the car seat (for toddler chasing reasons), but having the infant seat on the outside was easier either which way.  The toddler is also big enough to climb into his seat on his own, most likely, and I could reach his straps across the baby seat or go around.  Later I moved him behind the driver and she is still behind the passenger seat, but that wasn't until there was tugging and grabbing and general toddler naughtiness.  I'm trying to figure out the logistics of three car seats now, but that's just because I still want DS rear facing.  If I flip him, logistics get simpler. 

 

My son is almost three, and the last six months have been full of chaos - tons of traveling and a move halfway across the country - so he's not potty trained, either.  Diapers are diapers, and it's not that bad.  Easier than finding a potty and trying to wrestle little pants off while wearing a newborn!  I am working on having him trained before number three comes in May, though.  Three in diapers sounds a little excessive, although we'll see what happens.

 

You will be fine!  Stock up on some freezer meals/part of meals.  Give yourself some grace.  Take lots of time to snuggle your newborn, cuddle your toddler, and appreciate your Big Girl.  I don't have a lot of advice on the big kid front, but in a year from now, you won't be able to imagine your life any other way.  

 

Edited because autocorrect thinks it knows better than I do.

Edited January 22, 2016 by HOPE_Academy

[SKL]

On the car seats, I might put he baby seat on one side if it would be difficult to reach over from outside and position the baby.

 

I think your 12yo can probably help you a lot.  My youngest sister was born when I was 12 and I just loved taking care of her.  I was also able to do nearly all of the housework (though I didn't enjoy that as much).  :)  I also had a kid brother who was 3.5yo at the time, and he was a handful, so I helped with both.

 

If it gets too hard, you might consider putting your tot in preschool to give him something to do and give yourself a little respite.  My kids started preschool at 2.5 and it was great for them.

[Carrie12345]

It was hard.  Hard.  And then it got easier.

 

We had a minivan when the new baby was born (dh actually picked it up from the dealership while I was in the hospital, lol) and went with ease of use over any sort of "these are the risks and benefits of each position".  Ease of use was 100% a safety issue!!!

 

Forget Supermom for now.  Simplify. 

[mamiof5]

Can't remember how we did car arrangements, we've had a van for a while now. Dds are 17 months apart, and we had another one 2 years later...our middle one was a hard baby/toddler, but once baby came things got a bit better (maybe she realized there was someone younger than her? Who knows). Deep breaths, and yes, one day at a time :)

[KatieJ]

Our oldest was 13 when I had two under 2. I also had a 6 year old and hubby worked out of town and was only home weekends. We moved when the youngest was 5 months old. I call those my coma years.

Your 12 year old will be a big help. Do what you can for stocking the pantry and freezer meals if you can.

I would try to wrap up all school work except things she can do independently. I would take off your two or three month summer break and then start school again in summer, taking a long break over the holidays. Then just take your time, enjoy those babies. One day they will all be gone having babies of their own. Trust me. It happens .

[zoobie]

I've done it twice. The first year will be a blur.

 

I put the baby behind the driver, and the toddler in the center. We needed to access the back seat for bigger kids. Toddler learns to start buckling in on her own and loves being a big helper. Except when toddler runs around the car stripping. We won't talk about that. I try to keep a bribe for getting in and sitting down and getting straps ready. Pick the song, a sticker, a gummy...

[wendyroo]

I'm trying not to freak out.

 

Logistically, how do you mother two under two?

 

Does the infant car seat go in the middle of the back seat, or does the toddler's convertible seat? Right now the toddler sits in the middle and I need to put the infant seat in there soon.

 

We are taking the month after the birth off from school, and longer if I need it, but do you have any tips? She is already doing a lot of independent work.

 

I'm just envisioning lots of screaming and crying during the day. Unpatience. The four of us. My toddler is clingy. My infant will need all of me. I won't sleep more than an hour or few at a time. My daughter will... actually, I think she will be fine. She was amazing after the toddler was born.

 

All those diapers. My son isn't ready to be trained yet.

 

I just... didn't mean to have my last two so close. I don't know how you other mothers do it. Help.

 

Well, there are 26 month gaps between all of mine, so I have never had 2 under 2, but I often have two 2 and under.

 

My number 1 piece of advice is to remember that you 2 year old will seem big compared to the baby, but he will still be virtually a baby himself.  If you start with a clingy toddler and then add in the stress of the new baby, you have to keep your expectations very low in order to allow him to succeed.  Make sure you are structuring your home and life in such a way that he is not saddled with more freedom than he can handle.

 

I always place car seats in such a way that the toddler is not next to the baby.  The toddler cannot be trusted with the baby unsupervised while I am driving, so I simply ensure he cannot reach the baby...and in one memorable case I had to take the toddler's shoes off in the car for several months because he realized he could really rile me by throwing them at the baby.

 

When I have a newborn and a toddler, baby gates are my friend.  When I am nursing I gate myself, the newborn and the toddler in the playroom.  When I am cooking dinner I wear the newborn and gate the toddler in the kitchen with me where he bangs on pans or "washes dishes" at the sink or plays with playdoh on the floor.  My biggest problem is never clingy toddlers (I am a pro at nursing a newborn while cuddling and reading to a toddler), but rather wandering toddlers who are off causing mayhem when I can't follow them.

 

Wendy

[meena]

Our oldest two children are 11 months apart. The first few months were a good initiation because my oldest still had long napping periods and the baby slept a lot. There were usually at least two times a day when they were both sleeping. I would suggest trying to synchronize at least one napping period for your toddler and baby and then instituting a quiet time for your oldest. And then use that time for yourself ONLY FOR REST! I'm emphasizing that because it's so tempting to use that time to get things done, but don't give in to that temptation!

 

Car seats--I had my oldest extended rear-facing in the middle and the baby on the driver's side. It was just easier to get the baby in and out of there.

 

Slings and swings were a huge help with all of my children. With my oldest I didn't know a lot about babywearing but a coworker gave me a Baby Bjorn and said it would be a lifesaver. DH and I wore her and it was good but became great when we had our second so soon. Now I know more about babywearing and know that there are way better carriers than the Bjorn. I even got rid of our strollers with our third, and only carried him. We also made use of the baby swing in the early months to keep baby occupied so I could be hands on with the toddler. We also had a vibrating bouncy seat that the baby sat in while I would have play time with the toddler.

 

Meal plan and prep religiously when you have extra help at home. Teach your daughter how to help with food prep and clean up and if she's interested, have her learn to prepare a few meals on her own.

 

I didn't have an older child to teach when mine were little so I don't have any BTDT advice. But recently I've seen a couple blogs that address how to teach older kids with very younger ones in the family. Check out the Simple Homeschool blog written by Jamie Martin (her kids are older but close in age) and Read-Aloud Revival by Sarah Mackenzie. Also, possibly consider outsourcing school for a time by utilizing online or computer learning. I'd just make sure to carve out a bit of special time with your older child. I have siblings much younger than me, and I remember feeling like my mom was always focused on them once they were born. I understand, especially now that I'm a mom, that small children need more of our time and attention. But older children do as well, just in a different way.

 

You can do this! Life will be different and challenging as your family adjusts. But I can say now that my kids are older that it does get much easier!

[meena]

Oh, and diapers. I'm sure it was a lot of stress and mess at the time but I've mostly wiped those days from memory. One thing I did do was no pressure to toilet train by a certain age. My oldest was slow to learn but I can assure you once she caught on, it has stuck. :) We did end up cloth diapering to save money since I ended up with one in trainers and two in diapers all at once.

[zoobie]

Yes, mine are next to each other and RF, so they can't reach each other.

[Guest]

It's not bad at all. I've had that spacing and really like it, it's my favorite actually :)

 

I like to put the bigger kid in a stroller and wrap the smaller kid, but otherwise it is logistically no great challenge. Same diaper bag, same basic nap schedule (just with some extra ones for the littler person).

 

I'd love to do it again truthfully - it was easier than a two year gap for me to manage, even without bigger helpers.

[lovinmyboys]

I didn't see what the spacing will be. I have a good friend with girls just under a year apart and she thought the first year was fairly easy (her 2nd was a very easy baby), the second year really tested her sanity, but from the time they were 2 and 3 they have been great friends and she thinks she has it easier than anyone else because they have a playmate.

 

My kids are all about 20 months apart. Every time I freaked out that I wouldn't be able to do it, but my youngest is now 3 so I did it 😄. I remember times of being pulled many directions and everyone screaming, but I mostly remember it as a really sweet time. Definitely try to get them to nap at the same time and take a nap yourself. Give yourself some grace. It is ok to be a good enough parent.

[barnwife]

2 under 2 is fabulous. A lot of work, but fabulous nonetheless. We've done it twice.

Logistically, carseats go wherever they fit. When we just had 2 kiddos, I *think* the baby was behind the driver. Now that we have 3, the baby went on the outside, with oldest forward facing and middle kiddo RF. Now that they are all in convertible carseats, we have the oldest and middle kids FF on the outsides, with youngest RF in the middle. (We have a car.)

Agree with a pp, your current baby will mature overnight once the baby arrives.

As for how you do it, take one day (hour, minute) at a time. Some prefer to try to have all kids nap at the same time; others stagger nap times so they can have individual time with each kiddo. I am a "everyone naps at the same time" person. Because...how else will I get my nap if they aren't all sleeping?

As for diapers...that's why we practice EC from early on. All of our have been mostly trained from (before) 2. 

ETA: Babywearing has probably saved my sanity during those early days. If you haven't tried before, the new baby is a perfect opportunity. I love a mei tai for the NB stage and my Boba once the baby is big enough.

Edited January 22, 2016 by barnwife

[Julie Smith]

Mine are 16 months apart. 

 

I was recently talking to someone about it. And other than some memories of being VERY tired - I remember it being fine. 

 

Strangely - I don't have any memories of feeding my kids any food at that age - well beside breast and bottle. They are still alive, so I must have feed them something, right?

[Seasider]

You will be fine! You just do the next thing each day! I had three under three, and live to tell about it.

 

You are right to expect that the youngest will demand much of your time and physical energy. My oldest was still pretty little, but I tried to prepare him - set aside special toys/activities (maybe you could do computer stuff?) for times of the day you know will be crazy - mornings are usually busy. Start talking now to set expectations so the older child(ren) won't feel neglected - "You know, there are many things that babies and small children are not able to do for themselves, like you can already do." Have a visible list of things an older child can work on or stay recreationally busy with while you are occupied with tiny person needs.

 

You can do it! Rest will be important. Start now to get everyone in the groove of an afternoon nap/quiet time. Really, make it a non-negotiable. Eventually new baby will sync up.

 

Let your older kids be in charge of taking pictures and writing down funny things the toddler says. They will feel engaged and you will all enjoy reviewing their records. Seriously, it will seem hard when you are in the trenches, but it passes so quickly! And then, in a couple of years, your youngest will have built in playmates.

 

Congrats!

[Jennay]

My oldest two are 13 months apart - both boys. It's actually been great. Didn't plan it that way but glad that God had other plans!

[Mom2Five]

I'm trying not to freak out.

 

Logistically, how do you mother two under two?

 

Does the infant car seat go in the middle of the back seat, or does the toddler's convertible seat? Right now the toddler sits in the middle and I need to put the infant seat in there soon.

 

We are taking the month after the birth off from school, and longer if I need it, but do you have any tips? She is already doing a lot of independent work.

 

I'm just envisioning lots of screaming and crying during the day. Unpatience. The four of us. My toddler is clingy. My infant will need all of me. I won't sleep more than an hour or few at a time. My daughter will... actually, I think she will be fine. She was amazing after the toddler was born.

 

All those diapers. My son isn't ready to be trained yet.

 

I just... didn't mean to have my last two so close. I don't know how you other mothers do it. Help.

 

 

I had my first two 11 months apart and then another one two yrs later (so I had my dd who just turned 3 and my ds who just turned 2 and a newborn). It was actually great! Then I had two 18 months apart after that. That was really hard because I had older ones and the responsibility of school verse caring for little ones etc.

 

I put the infant seat in the middle and the toddler seat on the side.

 

I actually liked the 11 month apart age difference and hated the 18 month age difference. Maybe it just depends on the child because my ones that are 2 years apart were fine as well.

 

As far as diapers look into cloth diapers.

 

ETA- I am rethinking this and think that I had the baby seat on one end and the toddler seat on the other. Then when there were three of them back there I think I still had the baby seat on the end and a toddler in the middle and another one on the end.

Edited January 22, 2016 by Mom2Five

[Mimm]

:grouphug:

 

I'll just say... when they're older, it's really awesome having them so close in age. :)

[DesertBlossom]

My first 2 are 12 months apart. (The rumor about not getting pg when breastfeeding is false!) It was a blur. The 2nd pregnancy was hard because I had this big baby to carry around.

 

I agree with others who say simplify. You're going to spend a lot of time on the floor playing with babies. Enjoy it while it lasts.

Edited January 22, 2016 by DesertBlossom

[4ofus]

Mine are 15 months apart. The first year or two is hard & exhausting & super cuddly & adorable all at the same time. Then it gets super fun. Just keep it simple & go with it. I can't remember how I did seats. When it's over you won't remember much of it either! Ha!

[OH_Homeschooler]

I was blindsided by all the challenges I'd face with two under two (my first two, I was naive!), so first, at least you're aware that you'll have unique challenges and can plan ahead. 

 

I had pretty bad postpartum depression after my second and I think that added way more stress than usual. I'm no stranger to depression but I wish I had sought treatment for it much sooner, and I wish I realized that had a lot to do with the challenges I perceived.

 

I'm so relieved to read that Sadie has no memories of the younger kid's first year. I often feel bad that I don't remember as many milestones from then with my second. It certainly whizzes by! 

 

I have to agree with the statement that yes it was hard when they were so young, but now that they are older it is nice that they are so close in age (most of the time). 

 

Advice besides simplifying...take it easy on yourself and try to find time to be alone. Get a sitter occasionally or have your DH take over while you get out for some alone time. I found myself becoming resentful that every waking moment was spent feeding, entertaining, or changing the babies. They would never nap at the same time. A lot of feeling resentful could have been the depression, but you really may find it hard to have any down time. Make it a point to get some. 

[PeacefulChaos]

I'm trying not to freak out.

 

Logistically, how do you mother two under two?

 

Does the infant car seat go in the middle of the back seat, or does the toddler's convertible seat? Right now the toddler sits in the middle and I need to put the infant seat in there soon.

 

We are taking the month after the birth off from school, and longer if I need it, but do you have any tips? She is already doing a lot of independent work.

 

I'm just envisioning lots of screaming and crying during the day. Unpatience. The four of us. My toddler is clingy. My infant will need all of me. I won't sleep more than an hour or few at a time. My daughter will... actually, I think she will be fine. She was amazing after the toddler was born.

 

All those diapers. My son isn't ready to be trained yet.

 

I just... didn't mean to have my last two so close. I don't know how you other mothers do it. Help.

 

My first two were 21 months apart, and it wasn't bad at all.

 

We had a teeny tiny car at the time, so actually we didn't have either seat in the middle once there were two of them.  There was just one on each side.  However, my SIL always put the infant seat in the middle and then the toddler in one of the sides (she has 4 under 6 now, so she's done it a couple times lol).  

 

As far as the school work goes, I wouldn't stress it.  It sounds like your DD has a good head on her shoulders, so if she wants to do some independent work I wouldn't discourage it, however, it can all be caught up on if not.  No biggie.

 

I don't know why there would be a lot of screaming and crying during the day, but I didn't have a clingy toddler.  In my experience, however - even with a clingy preschooler, when Pink was born - when a sibling comes along they seem to internalize and understand that this isn't like some other kid coming to take mom away.  They're really good about taking it all in stride.  I think you're freaking yourself out unnecessarily. 

If you do think the toddler needs it, by all means, take a little bit of time while the baby is sleeping to spend time with him.  

 

As for the diapers.  Yeah.  I feel ya.  :lol:  Link wasn't trained by the time Astro arrived, either, though he was pretty quick on the uptake that following summer (about 2y 4 mos).  It just is what it is, but aside from the cost (disposables) or work involved in laundering (cloth), it's still not too bad.  

 

It all goes by quickly.  My two are super close now, as are many that I see who are so close in age.  

 

 

It's all good, you've got this!!  :)

[SKL]

Take lots of photos, because when you are past the toddler stage, you can look back at how cute they were.  You might not notice that so much when you're in it.  (Talking from my own experience.)

[snickerplum]

My first 2 are 21 months apart, 2 and 3 are 22 months apart, and 3 and 4 are 13 months apart. I had 3 in diapers. Don't push potty training too soon, it will just frustrate you both. Find and use a good hand cream. :-)

We had a van, so I cannot comment on car seats in a car.

I love (!) having my children so close together. Yes, it can be hard. Do you have a good support system/help? Yes, there are periods of time that are now a blur. Take lots of pictures so that you can fill in the blanks later. Yes, you can count on some very sweet moments.

I agree with the advice to simplify. Mess is ok for now. Simple meals are fine. Don't stress. Without taking advantage of her, employ your eldest when you need. I payed my oldest (yes, she was 4 - I was tired, don't judge me) to change diapers (a nickel for wets, a dime for dirties). She was quite good. Obviously, I changed most of the diapers, but it was nice having a ready helper. :-)

Congratulations on your baby!

[KungFuPanda]

Honestly, I put the infant behind the driver's seat. My preschooler used the integrated car seat and it was in the middle. I figured that statistically, my infant was safer on the side than an infant placed in the center that actually left the house every day :-/

 

My SIL is coping with 4 under 4 right now. Her twins are two months old, her preschoolers are home from school due to weather, and her husband is in Chicago this week and won't be able to get back to DC for a while. I'm pretty sure she never worried about the sanctity of the middle seat either.

[Seeking Squirrels]

For car seats, I would do whatever is easiest if the toddler is rear facing. If your oldest is usually along for the ride she could help buckle in the toddler while you get the infant in. If your toddler is forward facing, then from a safety standpoint, he should be in the middle. (rear facing is so much safer that a rear facer on the outside is safer than a forward facer in the middle. So we always say to put the least protected child in the most protected position.)

 

I don't have two under 2 myself, but when my oldest was that age I had my cousin's kid for about 40 hours a week. He was 8 months younger. For going out, I found it easiest to wear the little one and have mine in a stroller or the cart. If I didn't wear him, I felt like I was constantly juggling a small child. With him on me I could use my hands to tend to either.

 

 

[Ottakee]

I had 3 under 2 (2 of which jad special medical neesa) and homeschooling a 5 year old foster and a 9 year old mentally impaired child. We all lived. My big thing was a good sleep schedule. All babies over 5 months old or so for plugged into our schedule.

[pinkmint]

My ds had just turned 21 months when dd was born. 

 

I will just say I think it's one of those things where it's extremely hard at first and then you see a big payoff. My 2 who are less than 2 years apart (they are 5 and 7 currently) play together so much, and rely so much on each other for interaction and entertainment that I have no idea what we'd do if they didn't have each other. They do fight but they are basically best friends.

 

 

[greenbeanmama]

I put the baby behind the driver's seat, toddler (who was still rear facing) behind the passenger's seat, and the kindergartener in the middle (who could buckle himself).

 

I'm one who functions best on a schedule.  When I had little littles as well as babysitting kiddos, I had four under four many days.  Everyone got a diaper change or went potty at the same time.  That way I never had to remember who was changed at what time.  Everyone (even those who were early elementary) went potty before we left the house for anything.  It minimized the "I have to go potty NOW!" emergencies when we were out and about.  Anytime we needed to be somewhere at a specific time, I would start "getting ready to go" an hour before, first with feeding the baby and making sure no one else would be hungry, then potty and shoes/coats.  It usually did take just about an hour to get out the door.

 

I learned how to nurse sitting cross-legged on the playroom rug.  Baby would eat, toddler(s) would sit next to me and I would read books, play matching games, build block towers, etc.

 

Babywearing made things so much easier.  All my children have intense personalities, and my oldest was by far my neediest baby.  The only way he was content was either nursing or strapped to me.  You can choose to alternate who you wear, so the toddler can feel close as well.  I also made a big deal about needing "big brother/big sister" help.  They folded a lot of wash cloths and diapers, and matched a lot of socks.  They stirred things while sitting on my kitchen counter.  They ran and fetched things I needed (and often things I didn't necessarily need!).  We put on a lot of music and just danced, since that helped relieve a lot of stress for everyone - not just children's music, lots of oldies too!

 

For my own sanity, we got out of the house often: library, grocery store, playgrounds, community center gym.  Even just a quick walk around the block helped.

 

My children don't typically sleep through the night until about three and a half YEARS of age.  Sleep deprivation just became a way of life, and you learn to function even when extremely tired.  I wrote down many things in notebooks, simply because I couldn't trust myself not to get distracted or simply forget.

 

Simple, quick meals.  Things that aren't done at a certain time are great: crockpot meals, pot roast, stew that can simmer for a while.  You can start the meal when you have a free five minutes earlier in the day, and you don't have to stress about what's for dinner at 4:00 p.m.  Meal planning is also helpful.  I don't always plan each meal, but in our house we have a general schedule.  Mondays are soup nights, Tuesdays are meat and potatoes, Wednesdays are some form of chicken and rice, etc.

 

It will go by so fast.  And you will survive!  Someone said to look at your day as "just twenty minutes".  When the baby is hungry, the toddler is screaming, the cat just had a hairball, and someone left the bathroom faucet running..in twenty minutes, you can get all of that dealt with and things will be calmer.

 

 

[Joyofsixreboot]

Breathe,breathe. You will have to find your own rhythm and try things to see what works best for you. I had a 3yo, 18 mo old and a baby. I freely admit to using child gates, play pens and what ever else I had to do to keep them alive. Be kind to yourself.

[Luckymama]

My older two are 19 months apart. I honestly cannot remember the first six months of my dd's life. Thank goodness for pictures!

 

It will all be ok :grouphug:

[RootAnn]

If you can, put your diaper deliveries on Amazon Prime/Mom. They'll show up at your door.

 

I thought it was pretty challenging when I had the last three pretty close together (3 in 32 months), but I have an acquaintance who is expecting #7 and her oldest is about 10. So, I definitely didn't max out on the chaos. 

 

Breathe. Nap when you can. Get a helper (homeschooled teen, grandma type from church who wants to snuggle the toddler & eventually the baby) to come at least once per week for an hour or two - take a nap then, do deep cleaning then, or work 1-1 with your oldest. Make sure your nutrition is up to snuff. Take your prenatals!!!

 

After baby comes - nap when you can. Breathe. Make sure your nutrition is up to snuff. Take your friends up on their offers of food and help. Ask your bestest friend if she'll clean your bathroom or kitchen floor just once for you. True friends won't blink at this request from a new mom. Seriously. 

[fdrinca]

It will be easier for you to have them closer together. My two that are 15 months apart were like twins. They were entertained by the same things, played with the same sized toys (no little Legos!), and had generally the same schedule in terms of sleeping and eating. 

 

It's tricky for a while, and you'll just have to give in to the difficulty. Sometimes they both cry and it's the worst thing ever, because you can only comfort one. You'll never be caught up on housework or schoolwork or anything else.

[Mommy22alyns]

My girls are exactly 2 years and 3 days apart.  Long story.  So I had two, 2 and under.  The early years really are a blur, so take pics.  I love the age gap and would do it again in a heartbeat.  I definitely remember napping with Rebecca in my bed while Sylvia slept in her crib in their room.

[magnificent_baby]

I had 3, ages 3 and under. It is truly a blur so yes take tons of pictures to look back on the fun times. Actually my kids love watching videos of themselves and way more than looking at photos. I'm really thankful I took the time to do that. Another thing I did was kept a journal for each one from the time they were born up until now (their favorite foods/shows/books, words/phrases, funny stories, the way they pronounced words, what we did that day). I am so amazed that when I read through their journals, I would have NEVER remembered those details if I had not written them down. They love to read those with me, we laugh a lot! I need to continue this, I haven't done this for a few years. 

 

 On the other hand, I feel like I was way too serious when they were little. Constant worry and micromanaging. Oh how I wish I could go back and enjoy it instead of worrying about all the details. 

 

As far as car seats, we had no choice but to get a van. No way to fit 3 bulky car seats in a row. This was 8 years ago, so maybe they make them narrower now. 

[DesertBlossom]

Someone else mentioned a double stroller. I loved our Instep double jogger. It fit through most doors and maneuvered so well. While babywearing is nice, it's also nice to not have a baby on you while trying to help another big baby.

 

I ended up with 3 under 3. And then #4 was born when my oldest was 4.5. Those were some crazy years!

[meena]

We had three across in the back of our sedan. I remember going to buy a car (we couldn't afford a van at the time) and taking a tape measure to make sure our carseats would all fit in the back. Fun times :)

 

We also had a double stroller. That was great until the baby turned into a very active toddler who only wanted to walk and refused the stroller. I'm so embarrassed to admit it but we got one of those monkey backpack/baby leashes for him (Editing to add: like this one http://www.amazon.com/Goldbug-53975-Animal-Harness-Monkey/dp/B000IEQ232). We only used it when in large crowds like at a festival. But still most people thought we were either mean or crazy. I was just trying to keep my little guy happy and safe, which he was.

Edited January 23, 2016 by meena

[Meadowlark]

I had a 5 in 6.5 years and I admit, much of the younger years are a blur. It's hard. HARD. I thought I was losing my mind sometimes. Definitely get Amazon Prime and use it often for the free shipping. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Other than that, it's so worth it!

[Lawyer&Mom]

I found baby wearing to be much much easier with Dd2, because I had developed so much core strength from carrying toddler Dd1 around. So if baby wearing wasn't your thing before, consider giving it another try. That said, I love our Britax double stroller. We don't use it that often, but it is a dream when we need it.

[Guest]

It's easy to judge until you have a runner! We had this harness but in the puppy dog version. It was a lifesaver in many places- I had completely forgotten. My son was very proud. He just thought of it as a big boy backpack.

 

I am so enjoying this thread. It is bringing back so many little things I swore I never would forget but I guess I did and my kids aren't even that old! Guess that sleep deprivation caused some memory loss.

Never judge the harness - we'd rather look like bad parents than have dead kids, amIright?!

[Suzanne in ABQ]

My older two are 16 months apart.  There were some times when it was really hard, but mostly it was wonderful.

 

It's been awhile, but let me remember some tips.

 

1)  Infant goes in the middle.  When he moves to a convertible seat, find one that is padded on the *outside*.  Sister will be leaning on it to sleep, a lot.

 

2)  I remember one time, holding the two of them on my lap, and they were both crying.  At first, I wanted to cry with them, then I just laughed at the helplessness of it all.  I hugged them and we got through it together.

 

3) They grew up so close, especially having a girl and a boy, they hardly ever fought.  Ds, who was younger, always thought of himself as his sister's equal.  He did almost everything early because, I guess, he figured if she could do it, he could, too.  Neither remembers life without the other.  It really was a wonderful experience, and the time went by way too fast.  

 

4) Relax.  Breathe.  You'll be fine.  

 

 

[Kristie in Florida]

I'm loving all of your replies and you are all helping me calm down and be excited again.

 

Thank you muchly.

[JessReplanted]

Two of mine were only 12 months apart. I had a 4 1/2 year old, a one year old, and a newborn.

It was hard, and wild, and crazy. And yes, there was a lot of crying. But, it's not impossible.

You can do it. 😊

[BlsdMama]

I'm trying not to freak out.

 

Logistically, how do you mother two under two?

 

Does the infant car seat go in the middle of the back seat, or does the toddler's convertible seat? Right now the toddler sits in the middle and I need to put the infant seat in there soon.

 

We are taking the month after the birth off from school, and longer if I need it, but do you have any tips? She is already doing a lot of independent work.

 

I'm just envisioning lots of screaming and crying during the day. Unpatience. The four of us. My toddler is clingy. My infant will need all of me. I won't sleep more than an hour or few at a time. My daughter will... actually, I think she will be fine. She was amazing after the toddler was born.

 

All those diapers. My son isn't ready to be trained yet.

 

I just... didn't mean to have my last two so close. I don't know how you other mothers do it. Help.

 

 

Breathe! :)

 

It's okay.  Just think of it as  twins! How would you hold them?  Two at a time.  The perk here is you let the toddler "help" with everything.  If you let the toddler help instead of using the baby as an excuse to have her go away, she'll be a happy little thing and love the baby.  There is a learning curve but I promise it's not as hard as you're imagining. 

 

We had two babies in 2001 (but Hannah died after 12 days so not the same) and then two more in 2004 - they are the same age for 7 days.  One is mobile, but other than that it was a very busy but good time.  Those are my "two babies in ONE year" sets.  The others are all less than 24 months apart except our two oldest.  They are generally 19-21 months apart.  It's actually an AWESOME age gap and I prefer it over three years.  Once baby is there a couple weeks the toddler never remembers her life any other way!

 

You will do more sitting and holding, so it's good to let toddler play on the floor in front of you, or read together while baby nurses.  Get a carrier.  Get a good carrier.  I prefer a Moby for baby (0-4 months) and a mei tai after that.  You'll use that carrier a lot - grocery shopping, library, etc.

Edited January 26, 2016 by BlsdMama

[BlsdMama]

Never judge the harness - we'd rather look like bad parents than have dead kids, amIright?!

LOL.  I judged the harness... Then I had La.  Oh.  My.  Goodness.  

 

If you have a runner, get a harness.  Let "non-breeders" glare at you, so what?  What does the average person *really* know about intentional parenting anyway, lol?  I'll not be sized up by random shoppers at Wal-Mart.  

[SproutMamaK]

I have two under two right now, while I'm homeschooling my older three (grades 6, 5, and 3). The baby is only one month old right now. It's... tiring, lol, but not horrible. I spent the few months leading up to the birth helping the older kids be a bit more self-sufficient in their education. I plan out their schoolwork for the week and then each day they have a sheet that tells them what to do with a stack of books they'll need for their assignments that day, and they sit at the table and do their work. When I'm not busy with the littles, we do subjects that they need me for. (Doing science experiments, helping them understand tricky math, reading history stories, etc.) If they run in to problems with something, they set that subject aside and know that I'll help them tackle it when I'm able, and move on to the next thing in the meantime. It does, however, mean that I don't really get a break. The little give me a bit of time and rather than taking a nap I have to go over schoolwork with them. Housework really only gets done at nights after DH is home, and when he does get home I'm often burnt out and need a good long break before I can get to doing anything else. I'd suggest having a large stock of freezer meals ready for after the baby is born, and relax your housekeeping standards. A lot.

[Lawyer&Mom]

Relaxed housekeeping will help build their immune systems, right? That's what I tell myself!