Door Greeters at Church--what you like and don't like

[Garga]

For those who don't know, a door greeter at church is where 1 or 2 people, or maybe a small parent/kid group, stand inside the door to the church, hand everyone a bulletin, and say, "Hi" to each person who comes in.  Handshaking or friendly hugs may be involved as well.  If someone is new, the greeters can point them to various places: the sanctuary, the nursery, the nursing mom's room, bathrooms, etc.  It's supposed to be a nice way to make everyone feel welcomed and cared for as they enter the church.

 

My husband and I have been asked to take over the coordination of the door greeters at our church and to find more people interested in being greeters.  After we get our feet wet, we've been told we can make any changes we see fit within reason.

 

The church has 2 doors, 2 Sunday morning services, 1 Sunday pm. service and 1 Wednesday pm. service. 

 

My church is a pretty generic Christian church. Some people wear jeans, some people dress up. Women have lots of jobs in authority and have preached from the pulpit numerous times. We sing a mixture of hymns and modern choruses. There are several hundred people in each Sunday morning service.  It's big enough that not everyone knows everyone else.

 

For the hive:  What do you love about door greeters?  Hate about them?  If you're new to a church what would you want the door greeter to do/not do?  Did you ever think, "Now, I felt really welcomed at church X because...." about a door greeter.  Or have you ever thought, "I'm not going back to that church. I don't want to walk a gauntlet through those greeters every week. I didn't like how they...." about a door greeter.

 

You may want to tell me in your post whether you're introverted or extroverted.  Thanks!

 

 

ETA:  The greeters are stationed by the outside doors.  There is a lobby area and THEN there is the door to the inner sanctuary where the seats are.  The greeters can talk and chat and move about if there's time before the service starts because they're in the lobby.  Once people have passed through the lobby and entered the sanctuary, then it's quiet and not much talking.  If a person shows up late there are a few ushers in the sanctuary to mostly wordlessly help guide people to a seat if its crowded and they need to find a seat.

 

[Crimson Wife]

Every parish that we've ever been to has had ushers and I've never really given them a second thought. It's just something that is a normal part of Catholic Mass. I've never had my hand shaken or been hugged, so that would seem a bit weird and overly intrusive to me.

[Aura]

I appreciate being greeted and told where things are, etc. I don't like having to go searching for the bathrooms! So it's nice to be told where they are, especially if they're not obvious.

 

It's nice to be told what programs are offered and ASKED if you need assistance...in getting to those programs, in finding a seat, or anything else. I STRONGLY DISLIKE when greeters repeat themselves and and try to convince me to do something I don't want to do.

 

For instance, I may or may NOT:

• want to sit toward the front
• want to sit toward the back
• want my child in the nursery or children's program (<---- this is a biggie when I'm visiting. We don't send our kids to any kids programs until we feel confident their safety, which is usually not the first couple of visits)  

These are simple things, to me. I appreciate offers of help and simple direction. I don't like pushy people.

 

In the same note, at the end of the service, I STRONGLY DISLIKE being herded out the door like cattle.  :glare: Don't block the exit and force me to have to wait 20 minutes so the preacher can have a 2 minute conversation with each person ahead of me.

[73349]

No hugging strangers, please. :scared:  I'm an introvert.

 

I like it when people introduce themselves by name.

[vonfirmath]

1. The door greeters at our church when I first came were NOT aware of all the Sunday School classes going on at the 8:30 hours

 

(The church has 8:30 Contemporary, 9:45 and 11:00 Blended services)  I came in at 8:20-ish with my then-almost 2 year old daughter asking about nursery and Sunday School classes (I knew I wanted to attend the  Blended service and was specifically looking for a church that had Sunday school classes such that I could)  They directed me toward the nursery but didn't know about any Sunday school classes for younger folk. Though they were all for people older than me. I almost left then but I still had to go to church so put my kid in the nursery and got stopped by another greeter who saw me looking around lost. HE directed me toward a meet and greet center which was able to find a Sunday school class for me at 8:30 that allowed me to attend the Traditional service later on. And that Sunday School class has been GREAT since day 1. Just felt like I fit in. But I almost missed out because no one seemed to realize that younger folk might prefer to attend a more traditional service! I hope this has changed since then

 

2. OTOH I LOVE how our door greeters open the door for us. They seem to keep an eye out for people coming and get the door open so you don't have to manage the door and the kids and the stuff all at once. And they greet us by name -- even the kids when they are with us. And seemed to learn our names very quickly.  There is a lot of continuity in the door greeter staff at the same time though.

[Kipling]

My DH and I are turned off by overly-enthusiastic greeters. When we moved two years ago and visited many churches, some had greeters who were stationed in the parking lot to meet new people and direct them where to go. Others had a greeting system where one person would greet you and then walk you to another person who took over and then guided you to where you needed to go. Seriously, we're adults. We can find our way. I do like having a couple of people to stand out front, shake hands, welcome people, or even direct visitors to the nursery if needed. That way, visitors know who to ask if they have further questions but have the freedom to make their own way into the church and find the seats they want to sit in. When we visit, we don't want a big fuss made over us.

[emzhengjiu]

When I'm visiting a church, I don't like being asked my age even if the church has age segregated adult classes.  Other than that, I like the idea of greeters, especially to help visitors.

[Aura]

No hugging strangers, please. :scared:  I'm an introvert.

 

I like it when people introduce themselves by name.

 

I agree. I am not at all fond of hugging strangers, though I'm better than I used to be. And I know several people that would probably not be comfortable, even to the point of not coming back, where strangers were hugging them.

[Dory]

I strongly, strongly dislike the huggers. I do NOT like people coming into my bubble uninvited. I will actually try and slip through while they are saying hi to someone else if the greeters are huggers. I don't mind a simple question that shows that they remember who I am and who my family is or at least use of my name is kinda need and makes me feel like I belong there a little bit. Handshaking is just fine.

 

If I'm new to the church I do NOT like being asked my age or how many kids I have or really, any of those personal questions like that and it annoys me when they then take that info and tell me where I should be. I would prefer if they just gave me a quick run down of which classes there are and pointed them out. I'm intelligent enough to figure out where I belong on my own from there thank you.

 

[J-rap]

I can't imagine there is much time for conversation, is there?  Usually isn't church about to start and others are coming in behind you?  That being said, a friendly greeting, and if new to a church and the usher notices this, then a greeting with an extra "Welcome to our church!  We're so glad you're here.  Please let us know how we can help you negotiate everything.  I can meet you after church if you have any questions."  would be really great.  That initial impression can really be huge --  a friendly, warm hello can mean a lot.  (But definitely no hugs, please!)

[Liz CA]

A smile and a friendly face are fine but I think newcomers can be overwhelmed by too much hand shaking or hugging. Hugging seems really over the top IMHO.

[maize]

Hand shaking spreads germs, I would stick with a friendly smile, greeting, and bulletin.

[Plink]

I love greeters who smile warmly and open the door for me. I'm fairly extroverted, however I'm not a fan of shaking hands while trying to maneuver a family of 5 through the doorway and juggling babies, Bibles, bags, and whatever else I'm carrying at the moment. IMHO save the handshakes for when we have time and space to chat later on.

 

Never greet people with: "Are you new here?" It is awkward and you might very well be talking to someone who has quietly been attending for a month (or year) and hurt their feelings. "I don't think we've met, I'm Joe," is a much nicer way to get to know someone.

 

If you think someone may need help finding facilities, don't assume, ask first. "Do you need help finding your way around?" (and then chatting while walking someone to wherever they are headed) is much more welcoming than, "The bathrooms are down the hall on the left." A greeter who "leaves his post" to help someone in need is doing a better job than one who stays glued to the doorframe and simply does their assigned task.

 

Huh. I never knew I was quite so opinionated about greeters.

[fairfarmhand]

I love it on rainy days when they have a crew to usher people to their cars with umbrellas and help the elderly.

 

I liked it when my dh couldn't accompany me, that people would help juggle my kids for me.

[Desert Rat]

I like hand shakes. I don't like unsolicited hugs or cheek kissing.

I never liked to be a greeter because of all of the hugs. I am an introvert also. 

[HS Mom in NC]

Say, "Hi. Welcome.  Let us know if you have any questions." hand me a bulletin and be done with it. I don't want to shake hands and I certainly don't want a hug. If you kiss me on the cheek, I'm leaving after giving you a stern scolding.  I'm not your long lost relative and I don't want a ridiculous greeting about how thrilled you are to see me.  

 

I want a greeter to be able to direct me to someone who can answer my questions about the church's doctrine, church constitution/polices and budget. I always ask for hard copies of those things and a way to contact someone who can answer about them in detail.  I would never consider joining a church without those things. 

 

Do not repeatedly tell me you have childcare available when I have young children with me.  I once went a church where 7 different people told me 7 times before the service started that, "You know, we have childcare available." Yes, I can read.  I see it on your bulletin. Yes, I really am keeping my kids with me for this service.  Yes, I'm sitting in the back row in case they make a peep so I can step out. 

 

 

[MrsMommy]

If you push the nursery on me, I'm probably not coming back. Mentioning it is fine, but I will not be using it, and if you try to convince me of its many benefits, I will know that your church is not the place for me.

[melbotoast]

If my hands are occupied with a baby or holding my kid's hand, I don't really want to shake yours. 

[Suzanne115]

The greeters that annoy me the most are the ones that can't stop their personal conversation long enough to actually greet me.  I also hate being told repeatedly about child care.  I use the nursery now, but when we first adopted my youngest we did not.

 

Suzanne

[The Girls' Mom]

1.  Don't hug me.  I have a bubble.

 

2.  I don't want to shake 10 hands before I get to my seat.  (our current church is guilty of this.  We have to go through a "gauntlet" of hand shakers to get into the sanctuary.  One shaker is really enough.  Especially when I'm juggling my Bible, a notebook, the bulletin and my purse.  I don't even have small children to wrangle)

 

3.  I do like a smile and a friendly greeting.  And the ability to ask questions if I'm new and do not know exactly where to go.

 

4.  I really wish more churches would make their small group or Sunday school options clearer.  A list of classes with times and room numbers posted where I can read it at my leisure.  

[wintermom]

I'm always at church way before the mass starts because of volunteering with some ministry. I don't even know if our church has door greeters. Our local theatre does, and I like it. A friendly, welcoming smile and opening the door for me is all I need. I'd avoid anyone hugging, hand-shaking and questioning. If I have a question about something specific, I'll ask. I mostly want a little time to get in the door, out of the cold, and then I'll figure out where I need to go.

[Guest submarines]

I'm pretty extroverted, and I really dislike churches with door greeters. My experience over the years has been in visiting various churches, rather than regularly attending "my own."  I always try to sneak in without being accosted by a door greeter. Really, there's nothing they can tell me that I wouldn't know by myself. Bathrooms are usually clearly marked, or rather predictable in their locations. Programs are usually on some table. I'm extroverted, so it is easy for me to turn to pretty much anyone and ask  question, if I feel I need to ask a question. And please, please, no hugging! lol Extroverted or not, I like my personal space, thank you very much.

 

My reason for disliking door greeters? (nothing personal against the individuals, obviously) I haven't seen one that didn't seem terribly contrived and fake. There's this desperate energy oozing from them, akin to sales associates who work on commission.

 

My ideal door greeter would be someone as unobtrusive as possible, or better yet, none at all.

[In The Great White North]

 

 

Or have you ever thought, "I'm not going back to that church. I don't want to walk a gauntlet through those greeters every week. I

 

This.  I dislike the mere existence of greeters.  I don't want to be interrogated on my way into church. I don't want to have to smile, chat, shake hands or hug anyone in order to go to church.  I have chosen a different parish over this - even to going to church in a foreign language (Every military chapel I have ever been in has been horrible about this - I went off-post.)

[mumto2]

Personally when I am visiting a new church I just want a pleasant Hello and to be handed whatever I need to participate in the service, hymn book etc. Non invasive and no arranging childcare for my kids. Can't tell you how many churches we never went back to because of being repeatedly told about Sunday School etc. Touching me is not appreciated either. Definitely no touching the dc's.

 

That being said I am frequently now in the position of being a greeter, generally I only do special events. I try to live by what I just said I want when I visit a church. My only deviation is I generally have some sort of a schedule of upcoming events at our church...performances, children's services etc. If time permitting I frequently give a quick pitch for one of the upcoming events......the Children's Christmas Service is lovely if you have never attended etc. The only time I have ever hugged anyone is when my best friend came to preform at our church, totally appropriate. ;) If someone wants to shake hands I do but not initiated by me.

[HS Mom in NC]

If no greeters is an option, I'll pick that! I'll just ask whoever did the preaching or teaching for the things I listed upthread. If I can't find them, I'll ask someone near me for help locating a knowledgeable person. 

 

Really, a decent bulletin with clear, complete information just inside the entrance is all anyone really needs.

[wintermom]

 

My reason for disliking door greeters? (nothing personal against the individuals, obviously) I haven't seen one that didn't seem terribly contrived and fake. There's this desperate energy oozing from them, akin to sales associates who work on commission.

 

My ideal door greeter would be someone as unobtrusive as possible, or better yet, none at all.

 

Yes!  When I was asked to be a door greeter, my cheeks hurt so much from all the fake smiling. Not that I don't smile at people normally, but it was non-stop smiling. The lactic acid build-up was incredible. But you can't smile for some people and then relax the face (which then looks like a frown) for the next group of people. So do you pin a half grin on the face and hope for the best?

 

[Tammi K]

Our church in Hawaii had greeters who hugged everyone. I am not overly fond of touching - even with people I know well. So, that be itself was a bit off putting. But, I have a near phobic issue with perspiration. I won't even touch my own beloved children if they are sweaty. It makes me want to vomit.  Anyway, our church had a huggy greeter who perspired rather heavily. I tried to avoid him when possible but there were a few weeks where I had to actually be aggressively adamant that I was not to be touched.

 

By nature I am an introvert. Although I have no problem talking to people casually I can only handle it in small doses. And I like to maintain a large, impervious personal space-bubble.  So, chat away but don't come to close and don't expect a hug!

[Mimm]

Absolutely no hugging. Name tags would be good. And I know this is asking a lot but a greeter that is good at remembering faces and knowing if people are new and might need help would be ideal. As someone brand new, it would be nice to be approached and asked if I need guidance on where to go and what to do. But as someone who has attended several times, a quick hello would suffice.

 

ETA: I'm an introvert.

 

ETA more: I would prefer greeters who didn't dress up too much. It can be intimidating when the first people you see in the church are in suits and ties. Might make someone walking in wearing jeans feel out of place right off the bat.

[Ripley]

Our parish has door greeters. It had to grow on me. My previous parishes (in different states, regions, countries) never had official greeters - the parishioners who held social court in the narthex before Mass were our "greeters" LOL.

 

I feel the same about the greeters as I do about salespeople: I like the ones that do a decent job of reading their crowd. These treasured and preferred greeters are the ones who discriminately hug, kiss, shake hands or carry on extended greetings or even conversations. They recognize my well-attempted, poorly-hidden expression of dread as I approach the church doors, fearful I'll be greeted with anything more than a friendly smile and generic "Hello, Welcome!"

 

I hate all of the other greeters - the ones whose greetings are more about them than they are about the people they're greeting ;). They're huggers, so they're going to hug you whether you like it or not! They're starved for conversation or so they're going to hold you hostage at the door for a lengthy superficial exchange as you juggle kids, umbrellas and your wits (which are telling you to drop everything - literally - fold your arms and sweetly carry on the conversation like nothing happened).

 

I'm an extrovert.

 

No, really I am!

What I'm not, however, is demonstrative. Hold the physical affection unless we've pro-created together or I'm your legal guardian and your hands and nose are clean. I am not your napkin, thankyouverymuch.  But usually on the way to Mass we've either prayed a rosary or listened to Catholic radio or one of the kids has read the day's readings for us on the drive ... so my mind is more focused on that, not on catching up with people.

 

It's like how you can go to your bathroom in the middle of the night without fully waking up, right? So that's the state I'm in when I'm walking up to the church from the parking lot. Semi-conscious, mostly on auto-pilot, mind elsewhere. Loud, showy greetings ruin the whole effect :) and then I get annoyed, and then I gotta decide if I should take communion or wait until I can confess the horrible thoughts I just had, and then everything else goes downhill from there LOL.

 

 

[Guest]

My former church was HUGE and had a similar setup to the OP's.  The greeters stood by the entrance to the church doors, and mostly smiled and nodded and said, "Hello."  They wore nametags, and frankly, they dressed a little better than the mid-line of the congregation.  I appreciated both of those because I could nod or say hello, and I knew was talking to someone representing the church, not a panhandler (we had plenty of panhandlers lining the way to church, and it was helpful to be able to distinguish so I knew who I could ask questions about the church!).  

 

Then there was a lobby of sorts where people could talk.  We had a greeter just hanging around in there so s/he could spot people who looked like they needed help with something, or they could find him.  

 

Then there were the people who handed you the bulletin as you walked into the sanctuary.  They said, "Hello" and that was about it.  Oh, some of the wild and crazy ones would say, "Good morning" instead.  People who knew each other might exchange a few words, but it wasn't required to get in to the service.  

 

After the service, the staff in charge of that day's service would walk out after giving a blessing and then the organist would start a postlude--we had a whacking big pipe organ and a marvelous organist, so a lot of people would just stay and listen.  The rest would leave when they felt like it, and the pastor and staff would hang around the lobby talking to people who wanted to talk to them.  As there were only 15 minutes between services, the organist kinda cleared the sanctuary by hitting hard on the long pipes (also causing a major endorphin release among those still present) and then the service was over.  While she played the organ, the greeters/ushers went through the sanctuary and cleaned up all the stuff left behind by the last crowd--bulletins, umbrellas, etc.  

 

I think it was a good system.  New people felt welcome, and people who knew what they wanted to do, where they wanted to be were not encumbered by false insta-friendship or a gauntlet.  

 

[vonfirmath]

I'm pretty extroverted, and I really dislike churches with door greeters. My experience over the years has been in visiting various churches, rather than regularly attending "my own."  I always try to sneak in without being accosted by a door greeter. Really, there's nothing they can tell me that I wouldn't know by myself. Bathrooms are usually clearly marked, or rather predictable in their locations. Programs are usually on some table. I'm extroverted, so it is easy for me to turn to pretty much anyone and ask  question, if I feel I need to ask a question. And please, please, no hugging! lol Extroverted or not, I like my personal space, thank you very much.

 

My reason for disliking door greeters? (nothing personal against the individuals, obviously) I haven't seen one that didn't seem terribly contrived and fake. There's this desperate energy oozing from them, akin to sales associates who work on commission.

 

My ideal door greeter would be someone as unobtrusive as possible, or better yet, none at all.

 

I, on the other hand, remember with great fondness Ms. Lorraine at the church we went to when I was 4-...12 or so. And how she was always there with a cheerful smile and help, every week, year in and year out. She was a fixture that just belonged.

[Catwoman]

Every parish that we've ever been to has had ushers and I've never really given them a second thought. It's just something that is a normal part of Catholic Mass. I've never had my hand shaken or been hugged, so that would seem a bit weird and overly intrusive to me.

I was thinking she meant ushers, too, but the hugging thing is weird.

[Hyacinth]

Textbook introvert here.

 

I think the thing to train greeters on (and some people are just plain good at this) is to take the lead of the other person.

 

For example, one way introverts maintain the integrity of their much-needed bubbles is to not stop for small talk. We may smile kindly, but we KEEP WALKING. That's a cue not to try engaging us in conversation. A warm smile and a "Good morning" are welcome, but let us take the initiative from there. So don't block the doorway, don't do that hold-the-handshake thing that then forces us to stop, and don't try to give us information that we're not asking for. (Sorry to my fellow introverts for making us sound so prickly.)

 

As others have mentioned, I love when churches have an information desk or bulletin board or something with UPDATED printed information that I can read or, better yet, take with me.

[meena]

I like greeters to

• say hi to my children and treat them with kindness.
• know where things/events are and actually direct people rather than just point vaguely.
• express they are genuinely glad to be at church and genuinely glad to see everyone else there too.

 

I don't like greeters to

• be too busy chatting with friends to properly welcome people. 
• act like having children is a burden. "Oh, your hands must be full" is one of my most hated statements.
• assume that my DH and I are not part of the same family because we have different skin colors. Yes, we are a more than decade into the 2000s and this happens way more than it should, especially given that we live in a large, diverse metro area.

[marbel]

Our greeters are just there to say hello to everyone who comes in. They try to extend an extra welcome to obvious visitors (we are not a huge church) and point out things they might need to know.  There is no hugging, just  hand shaking.  If people want to keep walking, that's fine, or if people want to talk, that's fine too.

 

A couple of negative experiences to relate:

 

- A woman at a former church used to ask "what brought you to us today?" and other questions.  Maybe to most people that doesn't sound intrusive but I didn't like it.  They're there!  Just welcome them.  If they stick around for coffee after the service, then you can ask.

 

-  We visited a few churches during the month after my husband graduated from seminary and before he took an internship at a church in our area (but not the one we'd been attending).  We just wanted to see what different places were like.  At one church we were slipping in quickly just before the service started, but the greeter, sensing fresh blood I guess, wanted to chat us up and begged us to sign the guest book.  We said we were just visiting and not going to be back (trying not to get into detail because we wanted to get seated) and could we please go in before the service started and sign the guest book after?  She looked upset and said "but I might not be there then!" We had to wonder if the greeters get commission for signing up visitors or something. It was awful.  Even if we'd been looking for a church we would never have gone back there. 

[Just Kate]

Hand shaking spreads germs, I would stick with a friendly smile, greeting, and bulletin.

Yes!

[TammyS]

Mostly, I can take them or leave them.  The thing that bothers me is when they attempt to hug me and they are complete strangers.  I don't like it and I don't allow it.  It's not a moral thing.  If you like hugs and you are ok with it, fine.  But I do not want to be man handled by complete strangers.  Greet, smile, hand me a bulletin, shake my hand if you want, but do not freaking grab me!  I don't know where we got the idea that such a thing was ok.

[TranquilMind]

I appreciate being greeted and told where things are, etc. I don't like having to go searching for the bathrooms! So it's nice to be told where they are, especially if they're not obvious.

 

It's nice to be told what programs are offered and ASKED if you need assistance...in getting to those programs, in finding a seat, or anything else. I STRONGLY DISLIKE when greeters repeat themselves and and try to convince me to do something I don't want to do.

 

For instance, I may or may NOT:

• want to sit toward the front
• want to sit toward the back
• want my child in the nursery or children's program (<---- this is a biggie when I'm visiting. We don't send our kids to any kids programs until we feel confident their safety, which is usually not the first couple of visits)  

These are simple things, to me. I appreciate offers of help and simple direction. I don't like pushy people.

 

In the same note, at the end of the service, I STRONGLY DISLIKE being herded out the door like cattle.  :glare: Don't block the exit and force me to have to wait 20 minutes so the preacher can have a 2 minute conversation with each person ahead of me.

I agree.  Do NOT tell me what to do or where to sit.  I have to sit in the back, because of the overly perfumed women in there who poison the air (and a couple of men, but mostly about 3 women who sit near the front).  I don't really want to shake hands either.  I've been recovering from a couple of things in recent years, and I frankly don't want to touch anyone.  Don't even think about it if you are sneezing or coughing. 

 

When I had young kids, they stayed with us until they were much older.  I don't want to be told where the nursery or children's church is unless I ask you.    Yes, I leave when the Pastor says, "Have a good week" from the front.  None of that directing us out of the sanctuary.  Nope.  I can find my way out and have to do so quickly, because of all the perfumed people. 

[TammyS]

 I don't want a ridiculous greeting about how thrilled you are to see me.  

 

 

 

Especially this.  It makes me feel like I'm a mark at a carnival and about to get taken for a ride.

[kwickimom]

For those who don't know, a door greeter at church is where 1 or 2 people, or maybe a small parent/kid group, stand inside the door to the church, hand everyone a bulletin, and say, "Hi" to each person who comes in.  Handshaking or friendly hugs may be involved as well.  If someone is new, the greeters can point them to various places: the sanctuary, the nursery, the nursing mom's room, bathrooms, etc.  It's supposed to be a nice way to make everyone feel welcomed and cared for as they enter the church.

 

My husband and I have been asked to take over the coordination of the door greeters at our church and to find more people interested in being greeters.  After we get our feet wet, we've been told we can make any changes we see fit within reason.

 

The church has 2 doors, 2 Sunday morning services, 1 Sunday pm. service and 1 Wednesday pm. service. 

 

My church is a pretty generic Christian church. Some people wear jeans, some people dress up. Women have lots of jobs in authority and have preached from the pulpit numerous times. We sing a mixture of hymns and modern choruses. There are several hundred people in each Sunday morning service.  It's big enough that not everyone knows everyone else.

 

For the hive:  What do you love about door greeters?  Hate about them?  If you're new to a church what would you want the door greeter to do/not do?  Did you ever think, "Now, I felt really welcomed at church X because...." about a door greeter.  Or have you ever thought, "I'm not going back to that church. I don't want to walk a gauntlet through those greeters every week. I didn't like how they...." about a door greeter.

 

You may want to tell me in your post whether you're introverted or extroverted.  Thanks!

 

 

ETA:  The greeters are stationed by the outside doors.  There is a lobby area and THEN there is the door to the inner sanctuary where the seats are.  The greeters can talk and chat and move about if there's time before the service starts because they're in the lobby.  Once people have passed through the lobby and entered the sanctuary, then it's quiet and not much talking.  If a person shows up late there are a few ushers in the sanctuary to mostly wordlessly help guide people to a seat if its crowded and they need to find a seat.

 

 

thanks for posting this! Me and my husband were just asked to do the exact same thing at my church and this will be great feedback.

[texasmama]

A friendly greeting and holding the outside door for us to walk in is nice.  I don't really want to shake hands with a door greeter, and I certainly don't want to hug one, unless it is someone I know well and would hug anyway.  (Germs!)

[Garga]

I'm the OP.

 

What's kind of funny is that I hate hugging and hand shaking, too. When I said there might be handshakes and hugging during the greeting that's because I have seen it, but I go to moderate lengths to avoid it for myself when I enter the church. I haven't been hugged in a while and shake hands about half of the time.

 

I'm pleased as punch that we were asked to head up the door greeting because now I can offically put a nix on hugging and handshaking unless the person entering initiates it. We're a small town. A lot of the people in the church are related to each other or "go way back." That's where the hugging usually comes in. I'll be sure to let the greeters know not to hug and handshake without an invitation or only for people they know will appreciate it (family, friends, family friends.)

 

I love all the rest of the comments. I'm going to go over them carefully for all the advice in them.

 

I totally agree about the comments about nursery/children's church for the kids. I've asked about Children's Church on this forum and have found that half of you love having Children's Church in your churches and half of you don't. I'll be sure to let the greeters to know tell people about Children's church in a way that doesn't imply they have to go to CC if they don't want to.

 

I'm hoping for door greeters who are good at reading body language and know when to let someone get past without a fuss. So far, the ones that greet me at church usually stay pretty low key and don't over do the smiling or physical touch. There was one woman there for a while who completely freaked me out. She's overly Extroverted and terrifies people regularly with her hearty hellos. Actually, I don't think she was an official greeter. She just made a point of greeting people on her own. There's always one! :D

[HollyB]

I love the greeters at my church! They hold the door, smile, and say "Welcome!"  It's never too much or too little, just friendly. The men usually give the kids a high five or fist bump. They always say something nice to the kids like "cool shirt" or "pretty headband" or some other little compliment. They seem to only shake hands if I hold my hand out first so I don't feel pressured to be germy, and it's never awkward. They give directions if you need them. The bulletins are passed out by someone else at the inner doors. I don't feel like I'm being "greeted" again, just given the paper. The outer door greeters hold the door as I'm leaving, and say, "Have a great week." Every official volunteer wears a bright name tag.

 

We have a great children's program, but kids of all ages are welcome in the service. Our church is large and casual.

[Farrar]

I prefer the welcome table model over the door greeters.  The door greeters you can't avoid and, as this thread illustrates, there are really different expectations of them from different people.  When there's a welcome table, you get to be the one to make the approach.  The welcome people may say hi, can I help you, etc. and they're generally right inside the door in an obvious location, but making the approach up to you helps somehow, I think.

 

The only other thing I'll add is that one of my turn offs is when the greeters are really friendly with some people but then just shove a program at the people they don't know.  It's inevitable to some extent, but if you're attending a church and trying to break in and the person's whose job it is to be welcoming and personable is ignoring you while catching up with their friends it just emphasizes how completely difficult it is to break in at a church.

[TechWife]

I have been a member of my church for over 20 years. We have door greeters. I don't like the door greeters. I think it's fake. We have a welcome center inside, people can go there if they have questions, people can read signs. The bathrooms are clearly visible with appropriate signs. Door greeters aren't necessary, IMO. 

[Ali in OR]

I could easily live without door greeters. We have both door greeters (who welcome and shake hands) and ushers who stand further in at the sanctuary doors and hand out bulletins. I'm fine with ushers--I see that as a useful function. As an introvert and as a member of a family that can have serious problems with illness (and finds far too many sick people or people with 'just a cold' at church), I really really really don't want to shake anyone's hand. And our pastor also has everyone greet one another at the start of the service--many or most walk all over the sanctuary to try to shake as many hands as possible. I hate it. I greet those in front of me or behind me but stay in my own pew.

 

Our extroverted ADHD pastor has also made me very aware of differences in how people worship. Again as an introvert, I need to get into my internal space to draw close to God. I don't want other people distracting me from that. I don't want the attention drawn to other people during the worship service. I grew up in a church where I could enter quietly and unnoticed, sit in the back, be fully engaged with my mind, and leave refreshed. The people contact in my current church can stress me out and wear me out.

 

What's helpful in a door greeter:  get the door for me. I'm always pushing my wheelchair kid and I need to tip her chair to get the front wheels over the threshold. I need both hands to do this. Please don't try to shake my hand when I need to get dd in the door! Friendly greetings are always nice. Keep the line moving--don't get into conversations with one family while others are trying to get in the door. If you could leave one of your entry doors unmanned, that might be a nice option for regular attenders who want to skip the greeting.

[Reefgazer]

I'm extroverted.  I like a wide range of things and get along with many people; not much bothers me.  But I really hate the kissy-kissy, huggy-huggy types as doors greeters.  Come to think of it, I don't really cotton to those types anywhere.

[chiguirre]

If you could leave one of your entry doors unmanned, that might be a nice option for regular attenders who want to skip the greeting.

 

I agree. I've never interacted with the ushers at church because I always use the back entrance. Anyone who is just visiting wouldn't use the back parking lot and the door by the choir room, but lots of regulars (many of whom are probably deliberately avoiding the greeting ushers) do.

 

I'd also have your greeters dress up a bit more than the regular church goers. It makes them easier to spot and lends them an air of authority if they have to enforce the handicapped seating.

[TechWife]

 

The only other thing I'll add is that one of my turn offs is when the greeters are really friendly with some people but then just shove a program at the people they don't know.  It's inevitable to some extent, but if you're attending a church and trying to break in and the person's whose job it is to be welcoming and personable is ignoring you while catching up with their friends it just emphasizes how completely difficult it is to break in at a church.

:iagree:

 

This is another reason I don't like them, I just couldn't figure out how to state it. Greeters should be taught to catch up with their friends at another time. 

[speedmom4]

We have greeters inside the narthex who open the doors to the Church but no greeters opening the doors from the outside. They are friendly but no hand shaking or hugging. A few of them are actually taking a head count to keep for records so they have those "clickers" in their hands. They are available to answer questions especially for any newcomers. They also hand out bulletins after Mass. I think it's nice. They aren't pushy or intrusive, just welcoming.

 

Elise in NC