Halcyon Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 It's too long a story to share, but I am shaking and nauseous. I am not a confrontational person and I am completely shaken up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TammyinTN Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 I'm so sorry...big hugs my friend! :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bolt. Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 I'm so sorry! That's a big deal, and it shouldn't have been done to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrissiK Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 I'm so sorry! I've had that happen before when I was teaching. I'm not confrontational, either, and I've had parents verbally abuse me. It's horrible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KRG Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 I'm so sorry! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freeindeed Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 :grouphug: I am so sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ripley Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 It's an awful experience, for sure, and especially if you didn't see it coming. I hope you're able to find some way to calm your nerves and center yourself - for me that would be a long, hot shower (where I'd re-enact the situation but saying all the things I was too shocked to say in the moment) followed by something hot, chocolate and decadent. Like Shemar Moore. I mean, like something from Starbucks. Hopefully this wasn't someone you'll have to run into again anytime soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraidycat Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halcyon Posted August 13, 2014 Author Share Posted August 13, 2014 Thank you all. No, I will never see her again, thank God. It was very unexpected. I did retort but then said "This isn't productive and you need to walk away" and then she kept following me. Then the property owner (I was at another home) told her she needed to get off the property and she proceeded to berate him and say how I attacked her verbally. I can't even fathom what just happened to me. I feel like vomiting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 Goodness, Halcyon. That's awful. Have you been able to remove yourself from the situation completely? Is there someone local you can talk to? So sorry!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halcyon Posted August 13, 2014 Author Share Posted August 13, 2014 Goodness, Halcyon. That's awful. Have you been able to remove yourself from the situation completely? Is there someone local you can talk to? So sorry!!!!!! I am too shaken up to talk, actually. I am a tough chick usually but this individual is seriously crazy. I don't say that lightly. Other people warned me about her but I didn't expect her to confront me personally, at a vulnerable moment, without warning. I am having a stiff drink, to be honest. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 Huge huge hugs. So sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mothersweets Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 :grouphug: I'm so sorry! I am terrible with confrontations. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halcyon Posted August 13, 2014 Author Share Posted August 13, 2014 Maybe I am not so tough after all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Critterfixer Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 If being tough means thinking such confrontations are no sweat, I wouldn't qualify as tough either! Yikes! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ripley Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 Tough doesn't necessarily mean you throw yourself on top of a verbal grenade; it means you maneuver around the thing to get to the other side in one piece. Because crazy is crazy ... not being able to deal with crazy has nothing to do with toughness and everything to do with instinct. And your instinct stepped in. You stopped retorting and literally tried to maneuver around the thing to get to the other side in one piece. ;) Who knows how this situation might have escalated had you continued to engage her assertively! No amount of tough ever beats out crazy. You're not just tough, you're smart. And hopefully starting to get a buzz. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 Maybe I am not so tough after all. You are REAL. That's better than tough. I hope you are able to shake it off. Also, take whatever steps necessary to protect yourself from this unstable person. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halcyon Posted August 13, 2014 Author Share Posted August 13, 2014 Thank you all so much. I can't tell you how much your words mean to me. I haven't felt like this in YEARS. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiramisu Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 I'm so sorry. That stinks. It's easy for the shock of it to linger. Try to do something different to re-set your mind to a better place. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 Yikes. So sorry! :grouphug: A good drink sounds like the right plan. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
umsami Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 I am so sorry. It is scary, I know. :grouphug: I hope the Universe sends some random acts of kindness your way to make up for it. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 You can't reason with crazy. Don't second-guess anything you did or said; just be thankful that you were able to get out of there before something even worse happened. I'm so sorry you got stuck in that situation. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El... Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 It sounds like you did fine. You didn't escalate the situation, and you didn't just stand there: you said something and other good people helped you. That was the right outcome! The toughest people get the shakes when the adrenaline fades! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiegirl Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 That is just plain nasty. I'm so sorry. :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halcyon Posted August 13, 2014 Author Share Posted August 13, 2014 My father is taking me out for dinner. Hopefully that will reset my brain a bit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen500 Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 :grouphug: I hope you feel better after your dinner. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 I hope that stiff drink helps! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlessedMom Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Firefly Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 I hope the Universe sends some random acts of kindness your way to make up for it. :) And some random act of ass-kicking the way of the nutter who attacked her. :glare: Sorry Halcyon-- I can empathize. Hope you can put it out of your mind soon. Enjoy your dinner out! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScoutTN Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 So sorry this happened! Hope dinner with your dad is peaceful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JumpyTheFrog Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 Sorry you had this happen. Maybe it's a good day for a funny movie. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 Sorry she abused you! Hope your day gets better. I think you did really well, in not escalating. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 :grouphug: This reminds me of a situation I had a work years ago. I was working in a publishing company, and there was an author who was infamous in the company for his weird behavior and rudeness. He could be quite demanding. He seemed to really like me, though. He said I had a good phone voice--strong and firm and very soothing. He and I got on well. So well, in fact, that others started asking me to deal with him for all manner of minor details. If this guy needed to be called, I was the one who called him. He could be pushy or sometimes called too much, but on the whole he and I had an amicable working relationship. Until one day when I had a really busy day. I was having the kind of day in which I ran a million errands all over the building and called a million people about a million details. There were deadlines to be met that day. Things to be mailed. Etc. I was not at my desk much. Normally I tried to check voicemail first thing, mid-day, and late in the afternoon, but this day I didn't have time until quite late in the day. Before I checked my voicemail, two odd things happened. One is that flowers were delivered to me. From the high maintenance author. The other is that he called and I was actually at my desk and able to answer. He apologized for being impatient. I was mystified. It came out that I hadn't checked voicemail in hours, and he begged me to just erase my voicemail and not listen. I wish I had done so. The author had tried calling in the morning, but I hadn't answered. He continued calling, and decided that I was avoiding him and not returning his calls on purpose. He had called the front desk to make sure I was working that day. His numerous messages became angrier and angrier. His last message was a long-winded, ugly, VERY personal diatribe that left me shaking. I couldn't get the stink of his ugly words off of me for days. His apology and his flowers didn't help. It was so ugly. The flowers actually ended up feeling really creepy to me. I did have to deal with him in future, but avoided doing so as much as possible. I was thankful when I left that company not too much later that I would never have to deal with that author again. My one regret was that he knew my full name. So, been there, done that, and so sorry it happened to you. Be kind to yourself. That woman's issues are within her own tortured soul, and have nothing to do with you. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ethel Mertz Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 Hope you feel better soon. Do good things for yourself in the next few days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 It's too long a story to share, but I am shaking and nauseous. I am not a confrontational person and I am completely shaken up. I'm sorry. Want me to punch someone for you? Make her an offer she can't refuse? ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hunter's Moon Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 I have been verbally attacked twice -- completely out of left field -- this past year. One was on public transit by a hallucinating woman and the other by a mentally unstable customer at work. Both times, as soon as I was able to get away from these toxic people, I cried. Like full out bawled my eyes out. And I felt like a baby for doing so. But, you know what? That is my body's way of releasing stress and anxiety. I throw myself a little pity party, pick up the pieces, and keep on keeping on. And you are too. Because unfortunately, as humans, we can never fully get away from toxic people. But, we learn how to navigate. And you, my friend, navigated the situation *very* well. You laid out your boundaries: "This isn't productive and you need to walk away". It is not your fault that they could not be reasoned with, but you handled it the best you could with the options you had. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 I am sorry. This happened to me with a horrible woman who came into our restaurant, made a big Pharisee prayer with a group of friends, ate all her food, her friends ate all their food, said they liked it when asked, and then she made an ugly speech about how the restaurant is no longer special now that we are the owners. She sounded like the maid from The Help, only in reverse, you are not special, you are not special. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 I am sorry. This happened to me with a horrible woman who came into our restaurant, made a big Pharisee prayer with a group of friends, ate all her food, her friends ate all their food, said they liked it when asked, and then she made an ugly speech about how the restaurant is no longer special now that we are the owners. She sounded like the maid from The Help, only in reverse, you are not special, you are not special.So I'm wondering if she'll be back for some pie. Sorry that happened to you, Anne, that's just wrong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myfunnybunch Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 "This isn't productive and you need to walk away" Good job. That's exactly the right thing to say. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: I'm sorry that happened to you. Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DB in NJ Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 That really stinks! I know the feeling...so sorry you had to deal with it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 I'm so sorry that happened to you. I've been through that . . . a crazy out-of-the-blue confrontation that I got through saying very little, but once it was over I was completely unnerved, cold, and my teeth were chattering. It was the freakiest thing and sometimes I STILL shake my head and wonder WTH that was. Normally I'm not easily rattled, but it happened at a tough time when my nerves were already shot. Talk about timing. Thankfully this is a person I never expect to see again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 (Hugs) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 (((hugs))) I would feel the same, I'm sure. I just want us all to get along, and it hurts me when we can't. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angie in VA Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 Tough doesn't necessarily mean you throw yourself on top of a verbal grenade; it means you maneuver around the thing to get to the other side in one piece. Because crazy is crazy ... not being able to deal with crazy has nothing to do with toughness and everything to do with instinct. And your instinct stepped in. You stopped retorting and literally tried to maneuver around the thing to get to the other side in one piece. ;) Who knows how this situation might have escalated had you continued to engage her assertively! No amount of tough ever beats out crazy. You're not just tough, you're smart. And hopefully starting to get a buzz. :hurray: Well said, Ripley! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jelbe5 Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 Maybe I am not so tough after all. Yes you are! I remember all you went through regarding your business, etc. You handled things beautifully, professionally! Being verbally abused by someone, especially when you are vulnerable, would shake the strongest soul. You said this individual is crazy. Keep that in mind as you process what happened and then do what you need to do to move on and not give this individual another minute of your time and energy. Hugs! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dsmith Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 I react the same way to being verbally attacked, not that it has happened often. I still remember one incident so clearly that if I think about it too much I will start hyperventilating and my blood pressure sky rockets. My son was verbally accosted by a mentally ill women when he was 6, and it gave him nightmares for weeks. He would run back into our apartment if he heard her coming down the stairs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slartibartfast Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FO4UR Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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