Night Elf Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 How did you feel when you brought your first child home? Did you feel you had things under control, or were you a little freaked out? I had experience with babies and young children, but for some reason, I freaked when I brought home my oldest dd. My mom was staying with us for a week and I depended on her for everything. I was even scared to change a diaper. :tongue_smilie: Then after the week when my mom went home, I cried because I was going to have to do it by myself. I don't know why I was so scared. But I finally clicked with her and it was so wonderful. I don't know what got me thinking about this so early in the morning. I was totally fine with my other two. I was an old hat by then. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 I was pretty nervous. I'd had little experience with babies though. My husband had a couple of weeks off work and I depended on him for a lot. I think it was actually good because I never had that feeling of being the expert while he was my assistant. My MIL came for a few days and that was somewhat helpful - I think she gave him his first bath. But she and I clashed on a few things (nursing on demand and for comfort rather than just feeding) so it wasn't great. I was terrified the day my husband went back to work! I do remember the day I felt like I was meant to be a mother and not an imposter trying to be one. We had come home from getting vaccinations and he was a little fussy. We laid down on the bed and he snuggled into me and it was like :001_wub: :001_wub: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie G Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 I was too naive to even know to be nervous. I figured the hard part was over- I gave birth to the little thing. Bwahaha....yeah...the hard part was just beginning. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pawz4me Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 I was too naive to even know to be nervous. I figured the hard part was over- I gave birth to the little thing. Bwahaha....yeah...the hard part was just beginning. :iagree: :iagree: (Except I think I was still in so much shock from having a c-section that I couldn't manage to be nervous about having a baby to care for. I'd gone into labor with the thought of getting an IV and epidural being my biggest worries. :laugh: ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 It was an adjustment, but I grew up with 7 younger siblings and really didn't find the baby that intimidating. The second baby was a lot harder because my oldest was still very needy, I was tandem nursing and exhausted all the time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 I was quite comfortable with it, but I have an independent personality. We also had a good pre-baby class at the birthing center that helped us through those first 48hrs. After that, it all seemed rather natural and organic to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 ds was a week old when we finally brought him home having spent a week in the NICU, I was so happy to have him home I had it covered. In fact a few days later we headed out to visit my folks in the suburbs (and I didn't have a license yet) so I bundled him up and we took a combination of bussed and the train to get there no problem. He was 9 days old (and had been a section), I was very confident in parenting him at that point (not so much now lol). I didn't freak out until he was 10 weeks old and we found out I was pregnant again, then I freaked out at having 2 babies at once, 1 was easy, 2 wellllll..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathryn Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 When they were going to discharge us from the hospital, I remember DH and I commenting to each other that we couldn't believe they were going to let us take him home. We knew nothing about babies. But, once we were home, I don't recall that feeling. We were thrown into it on our own and just did it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wilma Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 Freaked! Totally freaked. And I cried like a baby when I had to take my mom back to the airport! (Well, if I'm honest about it, I've cried at each post-baby mom leaving. And that's 4.). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy in NH Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 I had zero experience with babies, so I didn't leave the house for two weeks while I got it figured out. The first night home was the hardest, when he was up in the middle of the night and I didn't know what he needed (after feeding and changing). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mytwomonkeys Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 Well. I called my mom from the hospital & asked her to come change my baby, lol. I was too afraid to put on a new outfit because I thought I would hurt her. When it was time to leave, my husband and I had no idea how to put in the car seat. The attendant at the hospital (who wheeled me out) was like, "I'm really not supposed to do this - but here's how you put the car seat in". I was 30 years old!! Anyway. We figured it out rather quickly, but we still giggle about how totally clueless we were!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 I was really determined not to be nervous. I actually think I had a good attitude - that it would all work out fine. And, of course, it did. On the other hand, I was pretty traumatized by my birth experience. I was supposed to deliver at home, ended up a transport, forceps delivery, then ended up leaving against medical advice early afterward because they treated me so poorly. None of it had to be that bad... they were just brusque and rude at every turn and they didn't let me sleep for any stretch longer than about forty minutes without waking me up (on purpose most of the time!) for the three days I was there, so I was beyond exhausted by the time I got home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted February 25, 2014 Author Share Posted February 25, 2014 Well. I called my mom from the hospital & asked her to come change my baby, lol. I was too afraid to put on a new outfit because I thought I would hurt her. When it was time to leave, my husband and I had no idea how to put in the car seat. The attendant at the hospital (who wheeled me out) was like, "I'm really not supposed to do this - but here's how you put the car seat in". I was 30 years old!! Anyway. We figured it out rather quickly, but we still giggle about how totally clueless we were!!! Oh, the car seat! We figured that out, not so easily I might add, before we had the baby. I had one of those models that let you snap out the carrier part and once we got the base in, we were good to go. My mom, OTOH, thought it was stupid to use a baby seat and she wanted to hold my dd while we drove home. She said it was good enough for her kids, so it was good enough for her granddaughter. I told her she was out of her mind, and reminded her of the time I was thrown on the floorboard when she hit her brakes too hard. Good grief! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mytwomonkeys Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 Oh, the car seat! We figured that out, not so easily I might add, before we had the baby. I had one of those models that let you snap out the carrier part and once we got the base in, we were good to go. My mom, OTOH, thought it was stupid to use a baby seat and she wanted to hold my dd while we drove home. She said it was good enough for her kids, so it was good enough for her granddaughter. I told her she was out of her mind, and reminded her of the time I was thrown on the floorboard when she hit her brakes too hard. Good grief! I can't believe it never crossed our minds!! We never entertained the idea of how we would actually get the baby home. I rode in the backseat hovering over my poor baby wrapped in 20 things, as my husband drove 50 mph on I-75 through Atlanta, lol. We were totally ridiculous! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustEm Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 It all came natural to me and being nervous never entered my mind. I had very little experience with infants prior. I remember carrying him around the living room in a football hold at 6 days old and my mom freaking out. She was the nervous one because her baby(youngest of9) had a baby. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mimm Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 I am the oldest of eight but I was pretty intimidated that first couple of days. I didn't want to be left alone with her. I think it was knowing just how much work babies are and knowing that it was all on me this time and I had no mom to hand her off to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hoot Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 I didn't have any worries or nervousness at all. I hadn't really been around too many babies, but I figured that women had been having babies for eternity so it couldn't be that big of a deal. My MIL came up the day we were released, but that was it. She would have gladly stayed longer had I asked. My own mom died when I was younger, so it was just me. I'm a pretty independent person though and didn't really want any help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ILiveInFlipFlops Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 I don't remember being very nervous, but I remember being very tired :lol: I had read tons of books and had been on a pregnancy/parenting forum for awhile, and I had changed enough diapers to feel comfortable doing it, so I felt like I had the basics covered and just thought we'd figure the rest out as we went along. And we did! It helped that the one thing I asked my mom to come and show me how to do was to give her a bath, and my mom came over and we all crowded into our tiny kitchen to observe. She began very confidently, but as soon as the water touched the baby, she started shrieking, and then she pooped everywhere, and my mom kind of went to pieces :lol: She finished the bath, though, and watching an old hand still get nervous and struggle and still get the job done showed me I could do it too. I did a little research online and handled subsequent baths myself! I didn't start to really doubt myself until the toddler years hit *sigh* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 Well ds got to go home before I did (I basically a c-section and abdominal surgery all in one). When I got home, he'd already been shopping with my mom because he was too little to fit most of the clothes we bought. I was not really nervous, and part of it was all a blur. I was nervous about him sleeping, being around the dogs, and people kept bringing food. I'm not a huge fan of babies and had never been around one much, but he was fun, he also was a pretty good baby. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janie Grace Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 I was nervous and very afraid of "doing it wrong." At the same time, I am independent (read: arrogant) and didn't want much help. I was grateful for help with household stuff, but I really felt like *I* should be doing all the baby stuff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsJewelsRae Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 I was so happy and in love I wasn't at all nervous, I even sent my mom home after a couple days. It took us 2 years to get pregnant and I had 2 miscarriages, I was just on cloud 9. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamajudy Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 I had read everything I could get my hands on about babies, but I had never even changed a diaper. I was 27. I had told my mom to wait about a month before coming to see us, because I wanted to figure out things on my own. My labor and delivery had been easy, and I felt pretty good, other than being tired. DH had an all-night fund raiser for his band the night we came home. So we left the hospital, went to the school to show the baby to everyone, and then he took me home, dropped us off, and went back to the school! There I stood, all alone, with a baby. And I just burst into tears!! I figured things out pretty quickly and made up for my lack of experience. I ended up having a baby in diapers for 12 solid years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AimeeM Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 I was 16 :P I was a hot mess. I didn't know ANYTHING about feeding a baby, changing a baby, etc. Blessedly, because of my age, the hospital helped ensure I knew these things before I left, and someone came by to help/check on us for a month or so after the birth. I don't recall being nervous, per se, but that was probably teenage arrogance, lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momto10blessings Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 I was only 20 but very confident. No outside help and husband slept heavily. It's what I had been waiting years for, so I was in Heaven!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 I was a mess, wondering if I had made a mistake. Also, I had an irrational fear of going someone alone with the baby. I wondered about a big box falling on my head and there I would lie on the floor knocked out with my infant sitting there unattended. Yeah, that is likely! Not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paige Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 I was a little nervous. I wasn't a baby person and my newborn was the first one I had ever really handled. I was a little cold at first. I had a rough delivery and just wanted to sleep. I didn't want to feed him but I also didn't want anyone to give him a bottle. I'd heard babies could go several hours without eating and I intended to sleep first and I did. I didn't want to wake up because I was so exhausted. Once they made me (nurses said feed him or he gets a bottle), I was fine. I was also super freaked out when they left him in my room and DH was out and he started to cry. I thought, "I'm supposed to handle this?" LOL!! Dh already had tons of nieces and nephews and was the baby person. I had never soothed a crying baby. I really wanted to call the nurse and have her take him but thought that would make me look like a wuss, so I pulled the bassinet over and grabbed him. Fortunately, he settled down quickly, and I got a little confidence. I'm sure if anyone else had been there, then I would have let them handle the crying. As nervous and unsure as I was, however, I just wanted everyone except DH to leave ASAP when we brought him home! I wanted to be alone w/ my baby so I could get the hang of it without people observing/helping/ or otherwise being in my business. We did not allow anyone to stay with us until DS was 3weeks old and by then I had it down. I don't like help with my babies. I didn't have any kind of PPD, I just was so much not a baby person that my usual discomfort with babies didn't go away until I started interacting with him. After that, I still wasn't much of an other people's babies person, but I have been crazy about my own. I love having babies and newborns now and with my other kids I did not want or allow anyone to stay with us until the babies were close to a month old. Even with my twins- as soon as they were moved to a hospital close to us I kicked out the help. Help stresses me out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 I was 24, but I felt ready. I grew up with younger siblings, baby-sat a lot, worked in daycare in college, and I was a fulltime nanny for a couple of years when we were first married, so I had had a lot of baby experience and was so excited to have a baby of my own, one I didn't have to give back. Plus, I had joined a couple of online groups for moms and felt really prepared, and our birth center had some good classes for us too. My birth was easy and lovely, and DD was an easy baby. We really did luck out with her; nursing was easy (and I had good support for that too), and she was a good sleeper and just a really calm and easy infant. (She got a lot busier when she learned to walk -- at nine months.) We had family around and would have had them longer or staying with us if we'd wanted, but really, they came, stayed in a hotel, brought food, cooed over the baby, and left us alone. It was so nice! I spent DD's first few months just holding her and nursing and sleeping and not doing much else, just her and me, and it was great. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alisoncooks Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 I remember getting in the vehicle with DH 12 hours after birthing oldest DD (we had her at a birth center, so we got to go home quickly). We kind of looked at each other and thought: They're letting us take this SMALL HUMAN home?! But what do we DO?!? And then getting home and setting the carseat down and just looking at her warily for a while. :D :D It was all fine, otherwise. I was familiar with babies... it was just slightly overwhelming, the idea of being completely responsible for another. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ILiveInFlipFlops Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 We kind of looked at each other and thought: They're letting us take this SMALL HUMAN home?! But what do we DO?!? :lol: For at least a week or two, I felt like we were waiting for the baby's parents to come and pick her up. I can clearly remember sitting on the couch at our old apartment, with the baby sleeping in the bedroom, hearing a creak on the hallway steps and thinking, "Oh, I'd better get the stuff, her mom is here." DH admitted he felt the same way, and also that he wondered who made the decision to let us take a baby home, because it was plainly ridiculous. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MysteryJen Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 I was 26 and everything was great, except for the horrible business of getting breastfeeding going. I had worked as a nanny for a newborn, so breastfeeding was really the only thing that was new! Once that settled down (took about a week), I had so much fun. It was a wonderful time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
73349 Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 I was very comfortable with babies in general - diapering, dressing, and so on, because I did a lot of that for my younger siblings. The trouble with my *particular* baby was that he was a premie who'd had jaundice and was not ready to nurse, so in my sleep-deprived state I was having to pump, keep track of feedings and diapers, etc. And he of course felt that he should be held constantly, while a lot of other things needed to be done (because I really believed I had several more weeks). I hadn't even finished undecorating for Christmas--he was supposed to arrive around Valentine's Day, not the first weekend of the new year! I remember resenting the advice, "Sleep while the baby sleeps." Okay, first of all, he would not sleep more than 45 minutes at a time unless he was on top of me. Second, I am a lousy napper even when desperate for sleep. Third, you have to do EVERYTHING while the baby sleeps. Want a shower today? Should you eat? How about some laundry? Thank-you notes? Learn how to use a sling? Change the crib sheet? How about the fact that my workplace had expected me to get things ready for my replacement before starting maternity leave? Check the mail? Bundle him up to go out for groceries? Ugh. Sometimes I wound up just watching him sleep. During the day, it was because he was so cute--he would make faces in his sleep. At night, it was to make sure he was breathing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 I had lots of experience and a pretty clear idea of how it would be. Of course my idea of how it would be was rather inaccurate, LOL. Meeting the basic needs did not faze me, but I got exhausted pretty quickly (I brought my 2 kids home together when they were 9mos and 12mos, so, mobile and with a mind of their own already). I tried to have them on separate nap schedules so I could spend "quality time" with them separately. Ha! It almost killed me. I finally put them on the same nap schedule so I could do stuff like laundry during their nap. Then the only problem was that Miss A and I were not communicating. She was screaming for *something,* I assumed it was the milk I kept bringing her (she wouldn't eat more than 1oz at a time), but actually it was something else she wanted (and she thought she was being very clear about it). It took a while for us to figure each other out. And then it was time for me to start back to work - in a new career. It took about a year before I really adjusted to my new life after becoming a mom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lavender's green Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 I wasn't nervous at all - just tired, because it was a birth center birth and we had to leave quickly. I figured he'd already been inside me for 9 months, I already knew him. He was mine, and I was his mommy, and of course I could handle it. What's there to be nervous about? I'm not saying it was all sunshine and roses, though. I found it just a tad difficult to establish breastfeeding, and it was difficult when DH had to go back to work (including overnight business travel) and we didn't have any friends or family to help. But on the whole I felt like I had things under control. Things were a little more difficult with my second, because my oldest was just over 2. But we all managed - with a little extra help from some doting grandmas. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 I was terrified. I kept thinking about how other mothers said that they fell in love with their baby at first sight, that they were so overwhelmed with love that they couldn't even express it, and I... wasn't. I didn't love him for like 2 weeks. I thought I was broken, and destined to be the loveless cruel mother I had, something I was always afraid of. Not only do I have that overwhelming love now, but I'm an amazing mother, due only to Gods grace. Not to sound conceited. I'm just a natural, low stress, home cooking, singing and dancing with my kids at the park kinda mom which is not what one would have expected of me 4 years ago. I was surprised at how easy it was. Babies were so foreign to me that I just assumed they would need 24 hour care and always be cranky like the movies. I had no idea they would sleep so much or be so happy. If I needed to get some housework done all I had to hand over my see through shiny hairbrush and he was occupied for 10 minutes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redsquirrel Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 Our first was a preemie and he was about a month old by the time we got him home. So, it wasn't a traditional homecoming by any means. It was rather terrifying to come home with a tiny, frail baby. Then I had to go on a several month 'house arrest' because I wasn't to take him into the general population due to germs. So, mostly it was stressful, scary and isolating. But then it got better :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommymilkies Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 I was 17 and completely had it under control. I had been around and helped raise babies all my life. It was just heaven. Other than money issues, it was so simple. If only it kept being that easy! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer3141 Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 It was AWESOME! Ok, on the drive home from the hospital, DH and I giggled because we couldn't believe the hospital was letting us have her and we drove around the block a few times figuring out where the take out was coming from that night. But I had a CD stash to get home to. And I'd CD'd in the hospital. I was so excited to get home and wash my first load of dirty diapers. The only thing that marred everything was that we had a ton of problems BFing but even through that, I knew we'd somehow work it all out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 I had babysat babies and had nieces/nephews but really had never taken care of a baby and made all the decisions. I didn't really worry and wouldn't have taken any help if it was offered (it wasn't). I am just a do it myself type person. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheApprentice Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 I was pretty comfortable with it. As a matter of fact, we had all 3 at a maternity center and every one of them came home within 8 hours of giving birth. I was also a little more confident because we had our first child when I was 30. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VeganCupcake Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 Our first two babies were born at home, so they were ours to care for from their very first moments. Basic baby care wasn't a problem; nothing really surprised me or felt like I couldn't handle it intellectually, but the adjustment of going from basically doing what I wanted at every moment to pretty much never doing what I wanted, was really difficult! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wendyroo Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 I felt confident and prepared. I had done a lot of babysitting, including one family with 6 kids, the last two of whom I babysat from the time they were a few weeks old. DH and I are engineers and are all about planning and preparation - we had the car seat installed, diapers washed, freezer stocked...we already knew we wanted to homeschool the child and I had read Slow and Steady Get Me Ready and The Well Trained Mind cover to cover. A couple weeks before DS was born I had visited a breastfeeding support group to ask a few questions. I found it so amusing to hear some of the new moms fretting; one was distraught because her mother had "smiled wrong" at the baby and made him cry. I guess I just took the whole thing in stride. When DS was 2 days old I took him to the pediatrician's office for his well baby check while DH stayed home and installed a new bathroom sink. DS and I stopped at the hardware store on the way home to pick up a few parts. A couple days later DH went back to work and I just jumped right in to doing what needed to be done and enjoying being a mom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 Not nervous at all. Ticked off beyond belief b/c Ex had his father fly in AND STAY WITH US from that very first night. Father, not mother. A man I had never met before. Who turned out to be a jackass. Not being in any position to hide my feelings, he quickly moved to a hotel, but I can't remember if it was after 1 night or 2. So I was very stressed, just not about the baby. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 I was fine. I was raised in a big family around lots of babies. The nurses commented that I was the most relaxed first time mom they had ever seen. We were 1300+ miles from our families. We were 23 and 24 years old. I agree that I wished things had stayed so easy, LOL! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momma2three Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 I felt certain that there must be some mistake... who on earth thought that I could be trusted with a baby? Surely there was some licensing procedure I had missed, and hopefully whoever is in charge would figure that out soon and come get the baby or help me or something. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loowit Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 I had a lot of experience with babies, but not newborns. It was an adjustment. I don't remember being scared. But I remember being frustrated when I couldn't breastfeed due to physical problems. And I remember being annoyed at my MIL who wouldn't leave the baby alone. She would come over and start undressing DD so she could count her fingers and toes, which of course woke up baby who then started crying. The first day I was alone it was a bit of a relief not to have all the people around, though I missed DH. It was actually the first time I changed her diaper because DH had done all of them up until that point. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MinivanMom Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 I was elated when I brought my first baby home. I had a lot of experience with babies and am naturally independent so it never would have occurred to me that I should be nervous or need "help". I was so happy to have a baby of my own and everything felt so natural. I remember people commenting on how happy and relaxed I seemed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SLT Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 I was a pediatric nurse for five years before DS came along and became a SAHM once he was here. I was elated and not nervous at all. Everything was really easy (though he was, and still is a very high-needs child), and was a wonderful transition. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 I vehemently did NOT want kids. Ever. Especially a baby. They are tons of work. They cry all the time. They poop all over you. They roll off of beds. They stick their fingers in electrical sockets (well, maybe when they're a little older.) You don't get a wink of sleep. They puke on your dinner plate at restaurants. Oh, babies are just horrible. Well, that's what I used to think. And then, when I was 28, all of a sudden I wanted children. Biological clock, I suppose. So, when the baby arrived and cried and pooped and puked and rolled and kept me up....I was ready. I was totally prepared for it to be horrible and I was ready. I wasn't nervous in the slightest bit. I felt like I knew what I had signed up for. What I didn't expect was the loooooove! Oooo! It was such a pure love and it bowled me over. Because of it, I didn't mind the crying, poop, puke, etc. I was prepared for it to be horrible, but it wasn't. I just got the job done without a lot of fuss because I loooooved him and then held my sweetie for hours and hours and hours staring at his itty-bitty face. ETA: For those who didn't feel the looooove right away, this isn't a post to make you feel bad. I didn't know about the love and I didn't expect it. I was totally shocked. I'm not writing this to make anyone feel bad. I just had no clue that it was even possible to feel love like that and didn't know that people expected to feel it. I thought that most people were somewhat disgusted by their babies at first, because they are so much work. (I was naive and a little silly back then.) So....I was just shocked. And I know that not everyone has the experience I had. I sort of had an opposite experience. Instead of expecting the love right away and then wondering why it took so long to kick in, I expected that I wouldn't feel love and then was shocked and surprised when I did. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ILiveInFlipFlops Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 You aren't alone. I did not feel the instant love. I felt responsible and like I had a job to do, but the goo goo ga ga love...nope. That did not happen right away. I did for my first. With my second, I had a natural birth, and it hurt a lot more than I thought it would. I guess I just really thought I'd handle it better :( I felt sort of disconnected from her for about two weeks too. I ran on autopilot and did all the things I needed to do, and I wasn't resentful or anything, but I wasn't in love with her immediately either. Thankfully, that corrected itself! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shawthorne44 Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 I spent the first year worrying that she would stop breathing. No health issues, just a major fear of mine. I was scared to leave the hospital. If we have another, I've told my husband I want to tell the hospital that we are getting out of there as quickly as possible, even if I have to bring the newborn back for tests. Another worry I had was falling while holding her and which instinct would override. It happened and "protect baby" prevailed, which was a relief. Even though I broke my toe. I forget the exact setup but it was something I could have easily protected myself from, so much so that the doc gave me a funny look like "This doesn't make sense. Domestic Abuse?" When I said I was holding my baby, then I got a knowing nod. I think this fear is pretty common. My MIL was telling me that "She wasn't tired at all when she came home after her first baby". Knowing which decade that was, I asked how long was she in the hospital. "A month". This was a healthy normal pregnancy, they just figured it took that long for the mom to figure out how to take care of a baby. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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