note to manager: this is why homeschoolers don't come to your events

[fdrinca]

I've been coordinating with a local theater for tickets for a production of Charlotte's Web. The box office manager has been so friendly, telling me over and over that they always wish more homeschoolers would take advantage of their school-day programs. As we came to the end of our email conversations, and I submitted our final attendance numbers, I listed our students, chaperones, and infants. Back comes the quick reply: NO INFANTS ALLOWED.

 

Which I understand; I really, truly understand why. Infants are disruptive and don't understand inside voices, cry and are fussy, poop at inconvenient times. But infants and preschoolers are totally part of the homeschooling package, right? So if you *want* homeschoolers to come to your underattended events, you may need to adjust expectations.

 

Ugh. Now I have to do this difficult calculus: not go to the play (disappoint bigs); go to the play and loiter in the parking lot (super fun!) leaving my bigger, somewhat emotionally nervous kids alone (sad). 

 

 

[ChocolateReignRemix]

Eh, sorry, but expecting to be able to take an infant to a play isn't reasonable. And no, they aren't always "part of the package."

[QueenCat]

Our local theater has this policy. It really wasn't a problem. Mom's would trade off, with one mom keeping the infant of another while the other mom took the older kids of both families.

[Catwoman]

Is this a special performance for a specific homeschool group? If so, I might understand your dismay that the babies weren't allowed, but if other people are going to be in the audience in addition to your group, I can fully understand the "no infant" policy.

[Word Nerd]

If that's the theater's policy, I don't think it's reasonable to expect an exception just because you're homeschoolers. 

[busymama7]

We take turns as moms staying with the ones too young to attend events even if its just for our sanity. BUT I do agree with you that businesses often don't get the need of homeschoolers. We were working with an arts center trying to get a theatre class and they wanted a class for each grade. No multi level classes. Not going to work at all! We didn't have those kind of numbers.

[momto10blessings]

I find it annoying, but can understand their reasoning. It should be mentioned upfront though.

[busymama7]

Double post

[Brilliant]

...BUT I do agree with you that businesses often don't get the need of homeschoolers. We were working with an arts center trying to get a theatre class and they wanted a class for each grade. No multi level classes. Not going to work at all! We didn't have those kind of numbers.

 

Yes, when we were homeschooling those grade-level policies drove me nuts!  I understand with English/Math etc, but with something like theater, how could multiple grades create a learning problem?  We even ran into this occasionally on a field trip, with the venue insisted on splitting up age groups to schedule the trip.

[DawnM]

Our children's theater has a policy of no children under the age of 3.  

 

I am very thankful for that.  Even the 3 and 4 year olds can be disruptive.  

 

However, one time was a bit comical.  They had Edgar Allen Poe as the performance.  The play featured several of his writings and was quite dark in nature.  But my friend and I both took our 8 year olds.  Heck, my 8 year old had READ some of Poe on his own by then!

 

Anyway, we were told four times that perhaps we should not take our younger children.  We went in anyway, but the manager came and made us sit on the end "just in case" we needed to leave.  

 

Dawn

[Harriet Vane]

Honestly, infants are not appropriate in a theater setting. They are disruptive. I don't see why homeschoolers should receive special privileges for this. This isn't a theater issue--it's a homeschooling issue.

[HS Mom in NC]

I agree with Shepherd Book from Firefly, "There's a special place in hell for child molesters and people who talk in theaters."

 

Option 1: Homeschool moms with older kids can could offer to take and supervise a group of other people's older kids while the moms with littles stay at home with them or meet up at a nearby location to play in the park together or something that works for littles.
 

Option 2: I think asking the manager about having another performance specifically for people with littles might be an option.  It would have to be clearly stated as people buy tickets. Audience members can choose between performances where no littles are allowed or the one where littles are welcome.  It's like the summer morning movies at Harkins.  Everyone knows there will be lots of little kids in the audience, so they should expect the noise and physical movement that goes with it.
 

[Jean in Newcastle]

I think some more homework should have been done prior to making arrangements.  Our children's theater  has no problem with people bringing infants and has special cry rooms available for moms with littles.  So it isn't true to say that infants are never welcome anywhere.  But - I wouldn't have known that if I hadn't looked at the FAQs on their site to see their overall policies.  

[maize]

We attend plays at a theater that does productions aimed at children; infants are allowed, but of course parents are expected to take them out if they are too noisy.

[Ottakee]

I understand their policy, esp. if there are other groups there as well.  I know that a local homeschool group went to see The Nutcracker ballet and it was very clear from the sign up that it was for kids 5 and above.  I know it is harder when you have little ones but even a very happy baby can be a big distraction.

[fdrinca]

Wow, I didn't realize I'd be such a minority. And there was a hostile tone in the reply re: infants from the ticket manager that I wasn't expecting. Plus, this is a children's theater.

 

I think it's the blanket rule that rubs me the wrong way. My infant and preschooler are perfectly able (quiet, non-disruptive, attentive as it allows) at church three times a week. 

 

It seem simplistic to assume that theater manners necessarily come with age, or that a parent would be unable to judge whether a performance would be manageable for his family. I wouldn't try to attend this performance if I thought that my children would be disruptive. We've attended several other performances in the area and both have done well, perhaps better than their older siblings.

 

Maybe I should be frustrated with the parents who have come before, who perhaps shouldn't have brought their little ones and have set a bad precedent for me. 

 

I guess this is just a "waaa, waaa, suck it up buttercup" situation.

[momacacia]

If the homeschool group is occupying the whole theater, I can see the theater should be willing to allow the group who purchased all the tickets to determine their own infant/no infant rule. However, it homeschool group is just buying a block of tickets and there will be other parents and children there, well . . . I wouldn't want to listen to the homeschool group infants interrupt the play that I paid for my family to see. Even if it is a children's program, it can make it hard for the older kids to hear and concentrate. Unfortunately, everyone has a different level of disruption at which they will remove their babies from an audience and having a blanket "no infant" policy keeps the management from having to arbitrate the issue.

[mommymilkies]

Wow, I didn't realize I'd be such a minority. And there was a hostile tone in the reply re: infants from the ticket manager that I wasn't expecting. Plus, this is a children's theater.

 

I think it's the blanket rule that rubs me the wrong way. My infant and preschooler are perfectly able (quiet, non-disruptive, attentive as it allows) at church three times a week. 

 

It seem simplistic to assume that theater manners necessarily come with age, or that a parent would be unable to judge whether a performance would be manageable for his family. I wouldn't try to attend this performance if I thought that my children would be disruptive. We've attended several other performances in the area and both have done well, perhaps better than their older siblings.

 

Maybe I should be frustrated with the parents who have come before, who perhaps shouldn't have brought their little ones and have set a bad precedent for me. 

 

I guess this is just a "waaa, waaa, suck it up buttercup" situation.

I agree.  I have taken my infants to movies, ballets, musical performances, etc.  It's never been a problem.  When we saw the Nutcracker at a very larger performance hall, there were dozens of babies and little tiny kids and we didn't hear a single peep from any.  Especially since this is a children's theatre and a performance of a kids book, the policy of no infants seems ridiculous to me.  I can see why the OP would be frustrated.  I can see not having infants at Madama Butterfly (though I did see some very littles this fall when I went and they were quieter than the adults around them), but at Charlotte's Web?  I think going there for piece and quiet is kind of overoptimistic.  People forget that not just infants make noise.  Adults and teens are very noisy at events.  I just barely manage to control myself from throwing phones I see people texting on during Operas.  :lol:  Babies-they don't know better.  To me, that's excusable so long as the parent is trying to keep them quiet.  Adults really don't have an excuse.  

[fdrinca]

And my husband just told me I'm insane to even think this should be an issue. Sometimes, you really miss the mark, and apparently I did with this one. 

 

Maybe it's because I've been dragging infants and toddlers along to everything for the past 8 years? Sometimes I forget there's a world without little ones strapped to your body.

[linders]

Well, from the perspective of one who only has older kids now (13 and 10), the insistence that every activity accommodate infants/preschoolers has been a reason that we have had to bow out of some homeschool groups. The moms of youngers want morning activities that don't conflict with naptimes (olders often do better getting core work done in the morning), they want field trips that accommodate strollers (this eliminates some nature preserves), and, yes, there are some activities like plays where babies are just disruptive.

 

Not all families have a range of kids from baby to teen. Is there a way that some of the moms could chaperone olders kids at these events, letting moms with infants hang out somewhere else?

[mommymilkies]

And my husband just told me I'm insane to even think this should be an issue. Sometimes, you really miss the mark, and apparently I did with this one. 

 

Maybe it's because I've been dragging infants and toddlers along to everything for the past 8 years? Sometimes I forget there's a world without little ones strapped to your body.

I understand that.  I often feel that children are often disrespected in our society.  So much isn't child friendly.  I was lucky to be raised in an area that was very child friendly-I went to plays, ballets, art museums, everything as a kid and do the same with my kids.  So when I go somewhere they're not invited, it does bug me.  Kids can be disruptive, but so can adults.  I've trained my kids from infancy (gently) to be silent and respectful in these places.  Not every parent does, but it makes me mad when they are followed at museums because they are automatically assumed to be trouble. 

[bettyandbob]

OP, I do not know you or your dc. However, there many, many people who say, "my child can keep quiet", "my child will sit still" and it just doesn't happen. This is not to say your dc aren't quiet--I haven't met them. 

 

I think some people are selfish and just want focus on getting their whole family into something no matter what happens to others who are trying to enjoy the same thing. 

 

I also think there are some people who have a completely different idea of what not disruptive to the group is ("he only cried a little", "I only had to stop her from jumping on the seats 5 times")  and so really have no clue they're dc do not belong. 

 

Look for theatres that do have a cry room--they do exist. Look for performances geared to under 5--they do exist. Swap with other families. 

[QueenCat]

What one person, usually the parent, thinks is not distracting, is often distracting to others who are trying to watch a performance.

[sunflowerlady]

Yes it should be common sense for parents to take out a baby or young child who is being disruptive. Many do not do so.

 

I have attended our state home school many times over the last ten years. The policy has always been to welcome all family members including small children and infants. It is asked specifically that if a baby or child is crying or being loud or distracting in a workshop that parents take the child out. Makes sense, right? Let me tell you last year was insane. Babies would cry, small children would wail and the mom would stay in the room. This happened in more than one session and with different people. These are homeschoolers like us who should know better. So everyone else could either tried to listen to the speaker and mentally tune out the noise or leave the room tbemselves.

 

Also, they sell recordings of the talks. I assume the kid noise shows up on the audio. Maybe not. Maybe they can edit it out hopefully.

 

Maybe some attendees gave feedback and the organizers will try to enforce it this year.

[SquirrellyMama]

I have often taken infants and toddlers to theater productions aimed at children.  I've found that children of all ages are disruptive. It is usually the elementary kids that are talking and kicking seats during the shows we've seen.

 

I can understand in adult oriented movies and theater productions that infants and small children would not be allowed. 

 

Kelly

[happypamama]

I would have been greatly annoyed to find that out after doing all that work too! I'd have assumed that since they were trying to cater to homeschoolers, they would have assumed that there would be littles. I don't use sitters, and I don't leave my infants, even with DH, and certainly not for long enough to take my older children to a play, especially Charlotte's Web. (Yes, sometimes that mean my big kids miss out on things because it's too much for the littles, and DH or a friend are not available to take them.) I would have assumed that we'd sit in a spot where I could get out easily, and I would probably have a friend sit near us to keep an eye on my big kids in case I did need to leave with the baby or toddler. It never would have occurred to me that all of my children wouldn't be welcome at Charlotte's Web!

 

I think talking to them and explaining that homeschoolers may be more willing to attend if they can have some times that are open to the whole family would be a good idea.

[Miss Tick]

Okay, I'm in the minority here, but a children's theater with a clearly-for-children production, seems like the message could be more along the lines of "please be ready to remove children if they become disruptive." We just saw that, and there are no parts so quiet that an infant would ruin it.

 

Of course, I was at the back of a theater full of school children. Last time we saw a similar production the police had to come in to free a boy who got his foot stuck in the seat. That was disruptive.

[Farrar]

My number one beef with theater programs and homeschool groups is that they always seem to want to decide where the kids should sit.  It's like, look, I know in a regular class that everyone should just have to sit next to everyone, but can't you realize that some of these little kids don't know the other kids and aren't comfortable sitting next to them without their siblings or their parent?  Just give us a moment and we'll work it all out.  Sigh.

 

But infants...  yeah.  Though there are theaters near us that don't have that policy and the crying babies have always been whisked right out, so I feel like that's fine too.

[marbel]

Yes, when we were homeschooling those grade-level policies drove me nuts!  I understand with English/Math etc, but with something like theater, how could multiple grades create a learning problem?  We even ran into this occasionally on a field trip, with the venue insisted on splitting up age groups to schedule the trip.

 

I've found that art museum tours, theater productions, and other field trips/classes having all ages can be a problem.  My experience has been that in a multi-age group with a wide age span, the presenter has to decide to talk over the heads of the youngers or bore the olders.  Since disengaged  younger kids are more apt to misbehave, the presenter skews toward the lowest grade/youngest age, leaving the older kids bored.  

 

At least that's been my experience, and why I stopped signing my kids up for things labeled "all ages."  It just doesn't work for us.

 

I don't think strict year by year grade level classes are any better, but most good divisions seem to be lower elementary, upper elem, middle, high school.  Maybe even put upper elem and middle together.  But high schoolers with 6th graders and younger?  

[msrift]

Our children's theater does have an infants welcome, but take 'em out if they start acting up policy. I've never attended a production where it was a problem. I'd be annoyed it hadn't been mentioned, but I've set up a few field trips so I now ask about stroller-friendliness, bathroom proximity, outside food policies, etc.

I wish all parents of infants and toddlers were conscientious enough to leave if necessary, but I've found that they don't often because the parent doesn't want to miss anything. Prime example: I set up a holocaust seminar at our local Jewish Community Center and the director was very explicit that this was to be mainly for high schoolers, though mature middle schoolers were also allowed (and boy, oh boy, you wouldn't believe how many parents tried to sign up children much younger than the suggested range and how much of a ruckus they caused when I turned them down). I asked the director if there would be somewhere on site for parents to sit with their younger children during the program so they wouldn't have to make two trips, and she graciously allowed us access to their gym. Child-care was not provided; parents were to supervise the young ones.  I had multiple parents simply drop off their toddlers and go watch the program. The parents in the room had no idea who these kids were, nor who their parents were. Then during the lecture, there were two babies who kept squawking and crying and the parents did nothing! One parent finally got up, but she just moved to the back of the room where the crying continued. I had to tell both of them to leave. One parent hovered by the back door with the still-crying baby so the mom could hear, so I again had to tell her to move as the baby could still be heard in the room clear as bell. After a couple of experiences like this, I don't set up field trips anymore unless I absolutely need a minimum number. Whew! Sorry about the rant!

[regentrude]

 

It seem simplistic to assume that theater manners necessarily come with age, or that a parent would be unable to judge whether a performance would be manageable for his family. I wouldn't try to attend this performance if I thought that my children would be disruptive.

 

Sadly, many parents ARE unable to judge and will let their children disrupt the performance. As a singer, I have experienced countless concerts where the parents did NOT remove their crying infants from the audience, despite a staffed nursery provided free of charge. It has taken the conductor stopping the performance mid-piece and directly addressing the parent to get the babies out of the concert. Not just once, but multiple times. We have several live recordings ruined by crying babies. It seems to be the rule rather than the exception. The cake took the parents who gave their baby a rattle to keep it from crying.

 

YOU may be the parents who would leave the performance, but sadly, that would make you an exception rather than the rule.

[catz]

I've found that art museum tours, theater productions, and other field trips/classes having all ages can be a problem.  My experience has been that in a multi-age group with a wide age span, the presenter has to decide to talk over the heads of the youngers or bore the olders.  Since disengaged  younger kids are more apt to misbehave, the presenter skews toward the lowest grade/youngest age, leaving the older kids bored.  

 

At least that's been my experience, and why I stopped signing my kids up for things labeled "all ages."  It just doesn't work for us.

 

I don't think strict year by year grade level classes are any better, but most good divisions seem to be lower elementary, upper elem, middle, high school.  Maybe even put upper elem and middle together.  But high schoolers with 6th graders and younger?

This has been my exact experience on tours. I don't even bother to sign up any more unless the average age of the group is at least older than my 9 year old. My oldest has been bored out of his gourd on one too many of these things.

 

On the theater thing, for Charlotte's web at a children's theater, you'd think they could have a little grace? I organized a large homeschool group to go to a holiday show based on a Junie B. Jones book. Infants and toddlers were present, they just sat on the end of rows and parents were very considerate. Our largest children's theater in town has no age limit, but does have a cry room available.

 

But for some things, age limits are perfectly fine. We are going to the Opera in a couple weeks and no children under 6 are admitted. It depends on the venue and the show.

 

I will also say, some people do not train their kids well for performances. Last night my son played in a piano recital. He's been playing for going on 8 years and is advanced for age. He played a 5 minute piece. Not one but 2 families with kids sat in the front row right in front of the performers. Once kid was trying to crawl on stage, sitting with his butt up in the air, talking non-stop. The other family had like an 8 and a 12 year old approximately and they were almost as loud and obnoxious as the 5 year old. These kids should have been seated in back near an aisle and been receiving gentle correction while other kids were performing. One parent was taking pictures after explicitly being told not to. Someone filmed my child without permission. So I will say if a theater has a bad experience with an inconsiderate family, I could see where that would color their policies.

[poppy]

 I don't kid myself that I am a good judge of whether or not my kids are annoying. (I try to keep the noise down and teach manners.)

[momma2three]

There is no way to guarantee that a baby will be quiet, so it makes sense that theaters ask that infants not be present at all.

[redsquirrel]

We are a big arts town. Our local theaters, of which there are at least 4, regularly put on 'children's plays' such as "Charlotte's Web" etc. It would never occur to me that infants and small children would not be allowed. My son performs with the local ballet company with 'child guest dancer' status and there are always small children and infants at the Nutcracker, for example. In April, they are performing Giselle (my son is an understudy) and I promise there will be infants at the Sunday matinee. Do they sometimes cry? Yep, and the parents take them out. No biggie.

 

At that one theater, that is close to my house I could take my kids to the following:

 

In March there is a performance of "We're Going on a Bear Hunt" and it is clearly labeled "all ages welcome"

 

March: Philip Glass: all ages welcome

 

April: Seusical "all ages welcome"

 

April: Spring into Motion (a dance thing, not ballet so i don't know anything about it but it is adult dancers) "all ages welcome"

 

April: I already mentioned Giselle

 

April: BB King: all ages welcome

 

May: The Lion, The Witch and the Wardobe "all ages welcome"

 

May: Once Upon a Mattress "All ages welcome"

 

October: An Evening with Lilly Tomlin "all ages welcome" (!)

 

Do they have stuff at that particular theater with age limits? Yes. There is a performance of Rocky Horror that is 21+ only.

I have seen lots of things in town where they post an age range or say something is for mature audiences etc but it has always been due to the subject matter, not because they don't want to have children in the theater.

 

That was just one of our local theaters, there are several more. I don't think it is unreasonable that if a theater manager is trying to attract families by putting on family entertainment, then s/he is going to have to get used to the idea of having infants in the audience. Now, there is a smaller theater that always puts on a summer series of children's plays (all ages welcome) and they are hard core about no food allowed to the point where the asked no bottle feeding during a performance. The plays are for very young kids and only last 45 mins so it doesn't tend to be a big deal.

 

We also have a local Shakespeare troupe and it is all ages welcome. My boys have been attending Shakespeare since they were babies. I have never once had to remove them and they love it. My boys have seen full length ballets, musicals, plays, and some fantastic concerts including symphonies. Now, my boys are unusual and I am lucky. They are both extremely well behaved in public but part of me wonders if that is in part because they have been taken to performances since they were tiny.

 

[stripe]

I haven't ever encountered a "children's theatre".

I have one in my town. They have performances aimed at younger kids (pre-k to lower elementary), through upper elementary, and middle school. They list a price for lap children under the age of 2, so apparently they too are welcome. My town also has showings of movies with lights up and sound down (here's AMC's list), and I have read about some have specific matinee showings where babies are particularly welcome. I have read about this in various places, e.g. Boston, but apparently AMC no longer does it due to low attendance.

 

fdrinca, I am sorry you've encountered this. 

 

I don't find many Americans very baby-friendly. Or, they're only baby-friendly when the baby is fast asleep.

[Mergath]

What one person, usually the parent, thinks is not distracting, is often distracting to others who are trying to watch a performance.

 

Yup.  This.  Too many people seem to think that their baby's babbling or toddler's chattering is just so darn adorable, so everyone else must think so too.  And in a place like a movie or a concert, where the volume of the performance is higher, it's a lot easier to tune those kinds of noises out.  But in a theater when you're watching a play, it's usually very quiet so everyone can hear the performers, and that one noisy baby is extremely difficult to just tune out.  Not to mention distracting for the people onstage.

 

So I agree that a no infants policy makes sense.  I would guess that the policy is "no infants" rather than "take your noisy baby into the lobby, please" because they've had issues in the past.

[SKL]

Hmm.  I'm not a homeschooler, but I am surprised they do not allow infants (or even tots under 3) to enter a children's theater.  Realistically, it's not going to be quiet in any case.  As long as the infant is removed immediately if s/he starts making noise, what is the problem?

 

I've brought my wee ones with me almost everywhere.  We have never been anyplace where some adults were not noisier and more distracting than my kids.  If my kid made a noise, I removed her immediately.  (This only happened once, when my 2yo accidentally banged her head on the hard part of a theatre seat (movie theater - PG movie).)

 

My worst experience in a theatre was when the preschooler in front of us crapped in his pull-up early in the show, and his parent left him to sit in it.  Nasty.  So much for age 3+ being more civilized in a theatre.

[AngieC]

At our local theater infants and toddlers are allowed, but you have to purchase a ticket for them.

[Mommyof4ks]

That is nonsense. We can take infants and toddlers to most school geared performances around here unless it might be scary for younger children. Do public schools not get to take special Ed students for the same reason? My guess is no, because parents would put up a stink even though their child may have no control over behavior or outbursts and be very disruptive (i have worked with a few students like that), so why would infants not be allowed?

[bettyandbob]

That is nonsense. We can take infants and toddlers to most school geared performances around here unless it might be scary for younger children. Do public schools not get to take special Ed students for the same reason? My guess is no, because parents would put up a stink even though their child may have no control over behavior or outbursts and be very disruptive (i have worked with a few students like that), so why would infants not be allowed?

I have been at many theatre performances with my son who has Down syndrome where the performance was disrupted by infants. Your suggestion that schools can't take children with special needs on field trips is insulting. At Christmas, my ds watched his sister perform in her ballet school's Nutcracker , more than one crying baby was kept in the theatre until ushers told them they had to leave. My son has sat nicely at the circus while 3 year old was permitted to kick my seat and pull my hair multiple times.

 

Honestly, there are a lot more problems with infants and toddlers who are typically developing than school age children with special needs.

[Audrey]

At the children's theatre in a city kind of not near me, they have a special viewing room/cry room for parents with infants.  You can hear and see the play, but no one can hear you.  It's quite a nice set up, but some people complain because you have to buy a ticket for yourself, the parent, and a children's ticket for the baby.   I don't think that's unreasonable at all. 

 

As a former stage performer, I will say that babies are a very difficult distraction to overcome, but I have done performances outdoors with multiple babies throwing tantrums of epic proportions and well... the saying "the show must go on" still applies.  It really ticks off the performers, but you have to keep going anyway.  The parents who immediately remove fussy children before they can even become a distraction are very much appreciated.  Unfortunately, there are far too few of them. 

[Audrey]

 

 

My worst experience in a theatre was when the preschooler in front of us crapped in his pull-up early in the show, and his parent left him to sit in it.  Nasty.  So much for age 3+ being more civilized in a theatre.

 

Ugh! :ack2:   I can gladly, thankfully say that THAT has never been a distraction to me all the way up on the stage. 

[Guest submarines]

OP, despite the seemingly abrupt response, not all is lost. I'd do some research on other children theater policies, and write a polite email outlining the importance of early theater education, family togetherness, parental responsibility of stepping outside if an infant is crying, and inquiring about their general expectations about the level of noise during performances.

 

Since you already established a nice rapport with your contact person, it is quite possible to continue a civil discussion about the issue and maybe finding a compromise or arranging a trial run.

 

Good luck!

[redsquirrel]

I have been to so many live performances and many (if not most) of them have had children of one age or another. Just last year alone, off the top of my head, I know I sat through 6 performances of The Nutcracker, three performances of two different musicals (Honk, and The Wedding Singer), maybe 5 choral performances, 2 performances of an original ballet of The Little Mermaid, and 2 full length Shakespeare plays, and those audiences were full of small children. I have never seen a baby or toddler or anyone else cry without someone quickly taking them out. Have I seen parents do 'the walk of shame"? Yes, but it has always been over in moments and it has only been a couple times, usually at a late night performance. Honestly, I cannot remember the last time I saw it. I must have seen it at least once last year but nothing comes to mind.

 

Now I am sure that you can all regale me with horror stories of horrid children, and even more horrid parents, but that has just not been my experience. Maybe I have always lived among exceptionally well behaved people? I doubt it. I suspect it is that people remember the terrible couple of experience and don't remember all the times they went to the theater or a concert and the children were fine.

 

And to the OP, you might want to let the theater manager know that if she wants to have more families at her theater, she might consider relaxing the 'no babies' rule for a play targeted at children. It's Charlotte's Web, not Waiting for Godot

[swellmomma]

I ran into the opposite problem in the city, not a live performance, but the movie theatres there offer stars and strollers, which is movies for the moms to watch with the volume lowered so they can bring their infants in, the theatre provides diapers etc.  And it costs less than a regular ticket.  I wanted to go when dd6 was an infant, but they had a rule of no children over about 18 months.  Older kids would sit quietly and watch the movie, moms would still be paying admission for older kids and themselves, but nope, babies only. 

It would have been nice if the manager you spoke to had been upfront about policies like that, but it is a reasonable policy that most live performances have.  Out here unless it is a family performance infants are not allowed.  Generally under the age of 5-6 is not typically allowed unless they can sit the full performance without squirming, kicking feet, talking etc.

[Jenny in Florida]

 

And to the OP, you might want to let the theater manager know that if she wants to have more families at her theater, she might consider relaxing the 'no babies' rule for a play targeted at children. It's Charlotte's Web, not Waiting for Godot

 

All I can say is that my kids refused to continue attending school matinees and performances aimed at children by the time they were about seven because the other kids were so poorly behaved and so loud that my kids couldn't hear or enjoy the show.

 

My guess is that different people simply have different tolerances for kid-type noise. Yours may be higher than mine or my children's. However, those of us who buy tickets expecting to be able to actually see and hear a live performance have a right to expect to do so.

 

With that said, I would have no problem with a theatre company that offered special baby-friendly performances, as long as they were clearly  promoted as such. That way, we could avoid them.

[KungFuPanda]

If the homeschool group is occupying the whole theater, I can see the theater should be willing to allow the group who purchased all the tickets to determine their own infant/no infant rule. However, it homeschool group is just buying a block of tickets and there will be other parents and children there, well . . . I wouldn't want to listen to the homeschool group infants interrupt the play that I paid for my family to see. Even if it is a children's program, it can make it hard for the older kids to hear and concentrate. Unfortunately, everyone has a different level of disruption at which they will remove their babies from an audience and having a blanket "no infant" policy keeps the management from having to arbitrate the issue.

Wait a minute . . . I don't want to hear a baby cry through a production even though I am a homeschooler. It ruins everything when you can't hear . . . even that little snippet you missed while the mom got out of her seat with baby in tow and left the theatre. They never leave immediately anyway . . . they they attempt to sooth . . . they whisper instructions to their children . . . and THEN they finally leave. It's a sideshow that others paid good money NOT to see.

 

I don't think the policy is short-sighted. It's good business. You swap with another mom, you wait until your baby is old enough, or you choose an infant-appropriate field trip.

 

I love babies and small children, but I don't want to pay good money to hear them cry. I realize some people DO have quiet, still babies, but it's a bad idea to let people self select for this. The policy sounds good to me. Those years go so fast anyway. It isn't a very long wait.

[NASDAQ]

This wouldn't be a problem for my local home school groups at all. The average number of children is two, and usually the first isn't an infant by the time the second is in grade school.

[katilac]

OP, it's also possible that what they meant by "no infants" was "no lap sitters" - that is, no free tickets. You said you specifically listed the number of students (so number of tickets) and then listed infants separately. I'm assuming that was because you did not intend to buy tickets for them?  

 

I have been to some venues that have an in-between policy. No age limit, but everyone needs a ticket. Fewer parents of inattentive kids are willing to actually buy a ticket for them, so it cuts down on disturbances, and also the endless discussion on where to draw the line on 'infant.' I think this is probably the best policy.