Ottakee Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 Looking back, I still have the same core beliefs, etc. but I am so different than I was 10 years ago. Back then I was a quiet, homeschooling, stay at home mom who was a foster parent to 100 short term kids. I was a homebody, liked to read, etc. Fast Forward to now: We have 3 horses and a hobby farm (a dream before but until 7 years ago I hadn't ridden a horse) I can hitch up and drive a 1 ton suburban hauling a 3 horse slant load trailer behind me I started exercising---first walking and now even cross country skiing and an exercise ball class I lost 80 pounds (but found 40 of it back after an injury and am working on losing it again) I helped drive a 3/4 ton truck with huge camper topper hauling a 16 foot car hauler trailer filled to the gills from Michigan to Western Montana and then flew home with 18dd. Most of these changes are due to one friend I made. We are very much alike---met at church, homeschooled, adopted after infertility, were foster parents, etc. She has been good for me. My mother still has trouble believing that I will load up 3 1000 pound animals and head out to ride with my 2 special needs girls..........or work outside in temps below zero or over 100 (chores must always be done)........or go cross country skiing, etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 Core beliefs are still the same here too but I have more confidence. Some severe hiccups in health have made me more thankful to be alive and more appreciative of every day. I also like to think I am more empathetic and compassionate now than I was. There has to be some growth in the right direction... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Onceuponatime Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 The changes in my life are mostly because my children have grown up, other than that life is pretty much the same for me. However, some of my core beliefs have changed. ETA: After reading more of this thread, I realize that the changes I dismissed as no big deal have changed my life. In the last 10 years I graduated 3 of my children, married off two of them, had my last child, and became a grandmother. I now have loads more free time to read and study. I've mellowed a lot. I also feel like I've "found myself." What has remained the same is the every day pattern of life, cooking, cleaning, schooling. It all goes on just as before. I do expect very big changes over the next 10 years. That makes me a little nervous, but the present is not such a bad place to be right now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 10ish years ago I was 22 with a newborn. If 10 years of motherhood doesn't change you in someway, you're not doing it right. I've changed a lot since then. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsMommy Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 Totally different. My faith is the same, as is my love for my family (which has grown considerably over the last 10 years), but I'm more ME now. I was ashamed of my interests back them, afraid they were too weird, or superficial, or whatever, but now I embrace them. And since I've embraced those things, I've identified other things about myself that I like (or dislike, I suppose), and I'm happy with that. Plus, 10 years ago, homeschooling wasn't even on my radar, and now it's kind of a major part of my life! ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassenach Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 My faith has matured. I use my time more wisely. I'm a better wife. My marriage is a million times better. I'm a better mom. My day to day looks different, but mostly just do to the nature of toddlers vs. homeschooling big kids. I think I actually get less time for myself than I used to. It seems opposite of what you'd think, but having babies gave me a lot of hang out time with friends. I am more of a doer than I used to be. I think of something I'd like to see happen and then do it (starting bible studies, co-ops, kids ministry events). I care more about flossing. Dh and I get out more. Often, actually, which I really, really like. The crazy thing is if I think 10 years out from now. Ten years ago, I was in the thick of parenting, and today I'm still in the thick of it. Ten from now they'll be 19, 21, 24, and 27. I will always have ds1 with me, but life is going to look very different in ten years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandylubug Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 I've mellowed out, more laid back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lavender's green Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 I was 17 then! :lol: So, a bit different! At my core I'm still the same. But much, much more mature. And comfortable in my own skin. And not anxious. I feel like I've found myself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dory Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 I've grown up a lot. 10 years ago I was 20. My beliefs have changed a little. My expectations for life have changed drastically, and what I want for myself in life have changed a lot. I am nothing like I was back then and I have had numerous people say so to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amira Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 Dh was laid off ten years ago this week. We sold the house we'd built and haven't stopped moving since. I became a homeschooler, had another child, became a different sort of Mormon, totally changed my cooking style, and experienced some things that have completely changed my outlook on life. Most of all, I've met people in so many different places (including these boards) that have had an influence in how I've changed. It was scary at the time, but I'm so glad that layoff happened. And I'm a much better flosser too. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8circles Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 10 years ago I had no idea so much of my life was so messed up. Ive changed in many ways since then. It sounds so silly but I'm "finding myself". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8circles Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 Dh was laid off ten years ago this week. We sold the house we'd built and haven't stopped moving since. I became a homeschooler, had another child, became a different sort of Mormon, totally changed my cooking style, and experienced some things that have completely changed my outlook on life. Most of all, I've met people in so many different places (including these boards) that have had an influence in how I've changed. It was scary at the time, but I'm so glad that layoff happened. And I'm a much better flosser too. :) I love reading about your life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hypatia. Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 11 years ago I was working as a nuclear engineer, married to DH, living near the beach and loving it, never going to have kids. DH was in the Navy but getting out in a few months, we were living on the east coast. Homeschooling had never crossed my mind since I wasn't planning on having kids. Now we live in WA, have 5 kids, I'm homeschooling, and DH just retired from the military about a year and a half ago. If you had told me this 11 years ago then I would have thought you were, ahhhh, enjoying some herbal substances. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hypatia. Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 Oh, and the minivan. Never saw that one coming. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PinkyandtheBrains. Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 I am very different. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 10 years ago I was working full time, living in a much larger city, and my kids were in preschool and Kindergarden. I was about 30 pounds thinner and still felt very overweight......sigh. I am the same person......core beliefs and all that, but I am staying home, moved across the country, and homeschooling. I miss who I was 10 years ago. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LLMom Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 I have changed a lot. My faith and family are still the most important things to me, but certain beliefs (one being homeschooling) have changed a lot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dbmamaz Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 10 years ago I was madly in love with my new husband and my new baby, had taken what I expected to be 2 years off of work, and felt like everything was going to be perfect. Since then, my husband's green card fell through so I had to go back to work when the baby was 1; my middle child was diagnosed with aspergers, then anxiety, then bipolar and tourettes and went on heavy medication; my husband announced he didnt want to be married any more and he even moved out for a while before he finally made a real commitment to me 15 months later. My daughter then started failing out of high school and ended up hospitalized for being suicidal; my boys were both so miserable in school my husband grudgingly let me quit work and homeschool; my daughter moved out, came back, was hospitalized again and moved out again; She occasionally makes civil responses to my emails; I had a knee injury which took almost 2 years to really be resolved, and much of that time I was in extreme pain; and now i'm in perimenopause. I dont recognize myself at all, in so many ways. I was idealistic and hopeful. Now i'm more a survivor wondering what will hit next. I miss my sense of joy and wonder. I miss my belief that I could make everything work out. I miss my love of life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foxbridgeacademy Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 Most of my core beliefs are the same, I have less tolerance for what I consider to be stupid, elitist, or unfair. I have less patience and I'm quicker to point out the "fastest" way to get something done (my way of course). I am more focused and I think I whine less. I am no longer ashamed of my past and the choices I made (I got a GED and married at 18, divorced at 22.... type of thing). I am quicker to state my opinion (no more wishy washy) but I often refrain from speaking if I feel I have nothing intelligent to offer. I don't lie to myself. So as PP said I'm just more "ME". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 A lot. Some good, some bad. I never thought I'd be a homeschooler, that's for sure! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kari C in SC Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 I am so different. And still the same in ways. It was the worst 10 years of my life and some of the best times too. I was 31 ten years ago. A homeschooling mom that worked part time in a corporate office and part time at home. I had 2 kids then 14 and 5. My sister in law that was more like a sister and best friend to me, was murdered by her adopted son just 10 years ago. It rocked me to my very core. From that tragedy, my dh and I decided to have our last child. My dh thought it help bring joy for us and our family. Then there were a few great years and then not great things. And, of course, the death of our son. By far, the hardest thing I will ever accept. All of that has brought me to here. Exactly where I am supposed to be for better or worse. In simple terms, I am a better mom now. I used to always want to be right. Now I don't care as much about being right as much as I care about my relationship. I ask myself a lot, is this gonna matter in a month or a year. I sleep more because darn it... I like sleep. I hug like I mean it. I try to remember that this time with my kids is very short and I will really and truly miss this some day. I am so different in my thoughts and beliefs, yet I am still very much doing the same old same old when it comes to school, housework, errands. I don't feel like my life will ever be perfect again, but I have hope that I can see the beauty and blessings that are there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 Oh goodness yes I have changed. Ten years ago we had one child and we lived in Michigan. Ten years later I have two more adopted children and moved to Malaysia. Ten years ago I barely knew where Malaysia was and never thought I would live anywhere but my home town. Weird. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 A lot. Some good, some bad. I never thought I'd be a homeschooler, that's for sure! Isn't that the truth?! I am someone who loudly said "never, no way, no how" to homeschooling before we realized it was the best, if not the only feasible, way forwards. I have eaten my crow on this one, that's for sure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamaraby Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 Huge change. I wouldn't say unrecognizable, but in many ways fundamentally different. Ten years is a very long time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Indian summer Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 I'm not that different. Disillusioned, stronger, more comfortable with myself and hopefully a bit more clever...but still the same me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mytwomonkeys Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 I think I'm a much better version of myself now. Hopefully 10 years from now I'll say the same thing :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silverwood Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 Ten years ago I was a senior in high school, so I have changed a lot! I am a lot quieter, have more anxiety, and I get nervous around others (I use to be outgoing and had no anxiety). I can honestly say I am happy with the way I am now, only wish I had a little more confidence when around others. I am much more mature, but did not think I would even be married by now, much less have two children (or be homeschooling, I was against it until a couple of years ago)! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 Significantly different including changes in core beliefs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 Some beliefs have stood the test of time, others not so much. I'm less conservative, definitely libertarian now, more tolerant, and I think my worldview has widened considerably. I also am facing the empty nest in the next 4 years, have a married daughter, gained a lovely son in law, seen my dad through two life-threatening, horrible surgeries, dealt with health issues, helped my sister pick herself up and dust off, reclaiming her life after a horrible marriage and even more horrific divorce from a man with PTSD who eventually became abusive and threatened her life. All of these things have shaped and molded me, and on some levels, due to these influences, have caused me to change my view on a number of things. I don't look that much older, and I don't feel a decade older. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mergath Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 My life is certainly different. Ten years ago I was a naive and fairly immature twenty year old in the Army and living in California. I never would have dreamed that in a decade, I'd be a hsing sahm living back in Minnesota. I've grown up quite a bit since then and obviously now have a very different set of priorities, but the person I am at heart is mostly the same. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 I am gentler and more compassionate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldberry Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 Are you really different than you were 10 years ago? Yes. I'm much more tired.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 back then I only had 2 kids though I was pregnant with my 3rd, my separation was only happened 2.5 years before and we still fought a lot of the time. My oldest was in kindergarten in ps, 2nd was in preK/daycare, I worked fulltime, was totally healthy, was still a pagan and had a lot of different things going on in my head. Who I was deep down was still the same but lots of other beliefs were different. I also was still a fun mom who had time to bake, and had friends over to scrapbook and cross stitch etc. That was the year I started to really see how severe ds15s issues were and started losing friends because they didn't want their kids around him.That decade marked a huge amount of growth, a ton of changes, a new religious belief, 2 more kids, peace (mostly) with my ex, a start to homeschooling, a different career path, more university, less free time and hobbies, decline of health, changes in thoughts/beliefs I once held to be truth. I became more forgiving yet less tolerant of bs, I learned to protect my boundaries and not be a doormat without resorting to resentment and hate. Who I am now at 36 is quite a bit different than who I was at 26 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbgrace Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 I'm very different. Unrecognizable to myself then I think. I think some things, particularly base personality, are still there. However, most of my core beliefs are different in significant ways. My outlook/perspective is different. My husband has changed a lot too. Much of it comes from unwelcome circumstances and life experiences. I never dreamed I would be where I have been. We see some basic things very differently from each other now, and that has been hard for me honestly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IsabelC Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 Yes. I have finally figured out that (1) I can't rely on the "experts" to "fix" my children - I know more about my kids and I love my kids more; (2) it is better to get on with doing what we believe is right than to try and convince anybody else to approve of it; and (3) I will never find another family where they agree with us on every last aspect of life, and that is OK (only yesterday I discovered that my favorite homeschooling friend/confidante doesn't like Rocky Horror Picture Show, but I still love her!!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 My core beliefs and personality are still pretty much the same, although I am generally more organized and more patient than I used to be, because I really need to be. The biggest thing that happened to me in the last decade (other than learning to knit and to drive a stick shift) is that I went from being a mom of one darling toddler girl to being a boy mom. I always hoped to have at least one boy and one girl, but I had no idea how much I'd adore these four little boys and their collective dirt and sound effects. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ripley Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 I can't decide if I'm stunted or if I've just always been comfortable in my own skin. :lol: I haven't really changed in the past ten years. I'm who I've always been - except now I'm the divorced version. Oh, and I retired last year, but that just frees up time for me to share more of who I've always been. LOL I've always been considered an old soul; maybe that's why I'm not all that different today than I was back then. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SemiSweet Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 I honestly thought that it was more rare to go through a complete change of the person you once were, reading these responses is really interesting. Ten years ago I was 23, married to xh and living in complete denial that he was a liar and addict. I joined the military with his support and 2 young children and changed everything I ever knew about myself and my beliefs. I was a Christian, a conservative, and doomed to stay with xh because of my beliefs. I am now about the most atheist, liberal, madly in love with my now husband, out of the military but staying at home and supporting his service. I look back at the person I was and cannot believe it most days. It was like I came out of a deep fog and had my mind opened and my brain rewired. I LOVE the person I am now, and as much as I loathe the person I was I realize I needed her for perspective, so I try to give myself grace even though it can be extremely hard sometimes, when I think of the things I thought and said. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 10 years ago, I had bright and healthy 5 and 9yo children and homeschooling wasn't on my radar. They were both in private school and I was working almost full time. Our house was new and dh was making decent money. Now, I have a special needs 7yo, my son is in college and my once 5 yo, is starting public high school on Monday after years of private school, home school, private school, sandwich of education. I am more laid back raising dd7, but not in an 'I'm more confident' way but in a defeated 'I surrender, I give up, and what was I thinking' sort of ways. A back injury 5 years ago, turned my life upside down. I wish I was more the person I used to be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TracyP Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 My life is completely different, and my core beliefs have changed fairly drastically. I am more confident. I am much more open-minded and accepting of opposing views. But I still like the same type of activities, foods, books and movies as ten years ago. While my beliefs have changed, my values have not. I feel like the same person, just better, if that makes sense. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 Yes, I am completly different. I don't even remember that person from 10 years ago. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 10 years ago, I had bright and healthy 5 and 9yo children and homeschooling wasn't on my radar. They were both in private school and I was working almost full time. Our house was new and dh was making decent money. Now, I have a special needs 7yo, my son is in college and my once 5 yo, is starting public high school on Monday after years of private school, home school, private school, sandwich of education. I am more laid back raising dd7, but not in an 'I'm more confident' way but in a defeated 'I surrender, I give up, and what was I thinking' sort of ways. A back injury 5 years ago, turned my life upside down. I wish I was more the person I used to be. < hugs>. I will share my white flag with you. I have announced UNCLE too. I don't miss the person I used to be...she was a drag. I am not too sure about this new one though. :-p Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 I am more laid back raising dd7, but not in an 'I'm more confident' way but in a defeated 'I surrender, I give up, and what was I thinking' sort of ways. I can so relate to this characterization of change. A lot of difficult stuff has happened. I don't see any end to difficult stuff. I don't know if my faith has changed, but I lost faith in my church (because of things that happened to my family at church) so I no longer have a support system for my faith. Many days I feel beat into the ground. I felt that 10 years ago too, but I had hope the for change. I no longer have so much hope. If you asked about 15 Years ago life was full of amazing possibilities and I knew how it was all going to work out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G5052 Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 Yes, different, but most parents my age who go from little kids to teens have changed. We're seeing the completion of homeschooling on the horizon, and that makes a difference too! My core values haven't changed though, just some of the family dynamics as everybody has gotten older. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pamela H in Texas Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 Yes, very different. Not all good. But I'm working on it. And really, I seem to be in some chyrsallis currently. And as I'm about to emerge, I can really tell a difference. Late 20s through much of 30s: Current: My 40s :) ETA: People have mentioned the difference in dynamics of having little kids versus teens/grown children. Though obviously things DO change, as someone who got a second set of children past those teen years (right before 2nd child graduated high school), I think that may well be PART of it, but it isn't the whole that one may think. I didn't back up getting the littles. In fact, it may well have accelerated certain things for me a bit (though not aging itself, I don't think). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pawz4me Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 Massively different. I can't imagine anyone aging ten years and not changing to some extent. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wheres Toto Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 Well, 10 years ago I was a single parent working full time trying to break even. I never wanted to get married again, didn't plan for more kids, just trying to get through day by day. Now, I'm married, oldest is in college, have two more children that are homeschooled (never even thought about homeschooling before 4 years ago). I am back to working full time and that's like deja vu since what I'm doing is very similar to what I did in the past. I've become more questioning of religion and kind of in transition on figuring out where I fit, although I go to church more now than I did then. I feel like life is much better than 10 or 15 years ago, has more potential and more promise, more good times, even though some things are a struggle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Camelfeet Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 Same same but different. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 I've had a lot of life experiences and changes to circumstances, and those have changed me. Still, I would still say that at a core, fundamental level, no, I am not a different person now than I was 10 years ago. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luckymama Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 From 37 to 47? Hmm. The last five years have changed me. My parents both died, one after a horrible battle with ovarian cancer and one as a total surprise. I had to sort through decades of family memories. I had to sell the house. Every day I have to look out my kitchen windows at that house. I had a hard time with stress and anxiety which harmed my relationship with dh for a year. But in the past year or so, I've come out the other side. Dh and I are closer than ever. I try not to let the small stuff bother me. I don't really care any more what other people think of me. I take time for myself every day---to read, to exercise, to meet up with friends. And my kids are all healthy and happy. Two are in college! I started homeschooling three years ago! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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