Rose in BC Posted January 23, 2014 Share Posted January 23, 2014 Lots (not so good) has transpired with my ds who left July 4th to find his birthmother. He left there and went to live with my niece and her family. Well that ended....badly. We're trying to figure things out but he's not coming back home for now. We haven't seen him for 7 months. My eldest ds with a mild intellectual disability and hasn't really done much academic school for a couple of years, told me last night that he wants to work toward getting grade 12. Yay! But totally overwhelming given his serious learning disabilities. And I work full time. (Homeschool is the only option for him.). So I'm scrambling to put something together. (He's been working this year which has been a lifesaver for us...keeping him busy.) And my fibromyalgia is in severe overdrive. It's so discouraging. I have a business trip next week...I hope I improve before then.) Just feeling sorry for myself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
morningcoffee Posted January 23, 2014 Share Posted January 23, 2014 :grouphug: 7 months.... that's hard :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMom Posted January 23, 2014 Share Posted January 23, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustEm Posted January 23, 2014 Share Posted January 23, 2014 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
East Coast Sue Posted January 23, 2014 Share Posted January 23, 2014 I've been thinking about you and hoping things were improving for your son. What a hard road to travel. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Many hugs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted January 23, 2014 Share Posted January 23, 2014 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted January 23, 2014 Share Posted January 23, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Mousie Posted January 23, 2014 Share Posted January 23, 2014 I am so sorry the arrangement with your niece fell apart. :( And so sorry you are in so much pain. From everything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kim in Appalachia Posted January 23, 2014 Share Posted January 23, 2014 :grouphug: I'm so sorry. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted January 23, 2014 Share Posted January 23, 2014 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraidycat Posted January 23, 2014 Share Posted January 23, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lakeside Posted January 23, 2014 Share Posted January 23, 2014 Oh dear. :grouphug: You've been in my thoughts recently. I'll continue to pray for your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OK Family Posted January 23, 2014 Share Posted January 23, 2014 I'm sorry sweet lady that things still haven't improved. So heartbreaking. Lots of hugs from me here! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: Hugs and prayers. Sorry it can't be more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilaclady Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: hugs to you and your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinder Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inmyopinion Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rose in BC Posted January 24, 2014 Author Share Posted January 24, 2014 Thanks everyone. My boy has reactive attachment disorder (RAD). What happened at my niece's is typical RAD behaviour. She has three young children so no way could he stay. They really tried hard with him. Right now he's in a youth shelter, in same community as my niece, (social services facility) while they figure out how to help us. My niece, nephew and sister (and families) live there and are staying in touch with him. He's been there ten days. It's just now how I imagined life would be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moxie Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 Oh, Rose, has it been 7 months?!? My BIL went AWOL and to jail as a youth. My in-laws almost wrote him off. Now he's a father and an upstanding citizen. I hope that one day this is just a terrible story from your son's past. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Live2Ride Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 Many hugs for you! Parenting is soooo hard sometimes...somtimes they just cant see/realize how much we really love them... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rose in BC Posted January 24, 2014 Author Share Posted January 24, 2014 Moxie, that's an encouraging story. Yup...he got on plane July 4th. I guess not quite seven months. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 We are all pulling for you. It isn't easy, but it can be done. I'm sorry for your pain. We will all keep praying. I'm sure your break through is coming. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmyontheFarm Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 :grouphug: Rose. Please try to take care of yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LMV Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 :grouphug: Hugs, Rose! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 Thanks everyone. My boy has reactive attachment disorder (RAD). What happened at my niece's is typical RAD behaviour. She has three young children so no way could he stay. They really tried hard with him. Right now he's in a youth shelter, in same community as my niece, (social services facility) while they figure out how to help us. My niece, nephew and sister (and families) live there and are staying in touch with him. He's been there ten days. It's just now how I imagined life would be. Have you been out there to see him yet, Rose? All of the upheaval must be so hard on him, whether or not he caused many of his own problems. He must feel absolutely lost. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twigs Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rose in BC Posted January 24, 2014 Author Share Posted January 24, 2014 No we haven't seen him. He has refused all contact from us. No phone, no texts, nothing. We sent birthday and Christmas gifts and got no response. We've come to accept this maybe how it'll be for a while. It's heartbreaking. Sometimes I grieve like its a death but then I hang on to hope that things could change in the future. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Truscifi Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hen Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 I am sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 You are an amazing human being to keep trying and keep caring and not give up on any of your kids. Your road has been such a hard one, but thank goodness your kids have you, however difficult and dark things may seem right now. You are giving all of them a chance, which is more than I can say for what they might have had otherwise. I have friends who are raising their grandsons because the biological parents cared so little for their own kids that they abandoned them repeatedly, stole from them, and the mother even clawed her own 7 year old on the back right in front of me one truly horrific afternoon...then laughed about it as he bled (she did not have custody but had been allowed to move back into the house). The only reason those kids have a chance is because someone else stepped in to raise them, even though the road has been a hard one, just like you did with yours. Where would your kids be if you hadn't been there? Someday, hopefully, you will see the positives you have wrought. Big hugs. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Praying for you and your family and hoping your health improves. Best wishes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snow Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 :grouphug: I'm sorry, Rose. I hope things turn around for you soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rose in BC Posted January 24, 2014 Author Share Posted January 24, 2014 It's true, we have not given up. While he won't accept our love directly now, it's become almost a full time job to advocate for services for him, from afar. And that's not easy. Every day I'm on the phone trying to find a place for him to land, and heal. It's harder now that he's not with family because before at least I had almost daily reports. But I do know where he is and he's safe and actually liking it. He won't be there long though. We are hoping we can find a treatment centre....I'm sure since he left his mental health has deteriorated. My boss told me I looked tired today. Hmm hmm....between this situation and my other special needs child and trying to give my dd the attention she deserves....and aging parents....wow, what doesn't kill you really does make you stronger. (While homeschooling :).) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mumto2 Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PollyOR Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 Another hug - :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MooCow Posted January 27, 2014 Share Posted January 27, 2014 *hug* you all are in my prayers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idnib Posted January 27, 2014 Share Posted January 27, 2014 :grouphug: I'm sorry to hear the situation with your niece didn't work out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forget-Me-Not Posted January 27, 2014 Share Posted January 27, 2014 (((Rose))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted January 27, 2014 Share Posted January 27, 2014 I've been thinking about you, Rose. I'm sorry that things are so stressful right now :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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