I'm not into saying never, but I will never

[justamouse]

put my kids in public school.

 

I just got done teaching CCD to 8th graders. We were talking about the dignity of every person, how we are all made in the image of God, and the talk eventually led to bullying.

 

The *horror* stories these kids were telling me--of what goes on every day, day after day, and the worst part?

 

That they think this is *normal*. That this is how normal people communicate and treat each other.

 

It is no wonder we have women who get plastic surgery to look like barbie, and mothers who glue their kids hands to the walls.

 

They were *laughing* as they told me a story of how a TEACHER told the 'annoying' kid to go take something down to the principal and how the class locked the door, turned out the lights and hid.

 

I am...I don't even know. Sickened. My heart is aching for these kids. ALL of them, that have to deal with this gauntlet every singe day.

 

No. No education is worth that--to have their very spirit crushed.

[theYoungerMrsWarde]

:(:crying: I'm convinced my kids would not do well in public school, and I am so grateful dh is adamantly against it, too.

[shanvan]

put my kids in public school.

 

I just got done teaching CCD to 8th graders. We were talking about the dignity of every person, how we are all made in the image of God, and the talk eventually led to bullying.

 

The *horror* stories these kids were telling me--of what goes on every day, day after day, and the worst part?

 

That they think this is *normal*. That this is how normal people communicate and treat each other.

 

It is no wonder we have women who get plastic surgery to look like barbie, and mothers who glue their kids hands to the walls.

 

They were *laughing* as they told me a story of how a TEACHER told the 'annoying' kid to go take something down to the principal and how the class locked the door, turned out the lights and hid.

 

I am...I don't even know. Sickened. My heart is aching for these kids. ALL of them, that have to deal with this gauntlet every singe day.

 

No. No education is worth that--to have their very spirit crushed.

 

Thank you for the reminder. It helps on the days when I think the bus looks good.

[justLisa]

Wow. It really is just terrible. The bullying, the lack of humanity....just stinks

[Catwoman]

:( :( :( :(

[jelbe5]

:grouphug:

 

When I was in elementary school in the 70s it was called "teasing". Today it would be called bullying.

 

It is one of the main reasons I homeschool.

[woolybear]

Thank you for the reminder. It helps on the days when I think the bus looks good.

:iagree: What scares me is that those kids are the future of this country?! yes, our kids are too, but they're not the majority. :sad:

[MommaOfalotta]

:crying: How sad.. I just wish I could give a hug to that "annoying kid" and tell him people like that DON'T MATTER.

 

And I wish I could smack that teacher upside the head. Sickening.. :( Ugh it makes my heart hurt.

 

 

I'm very emotional this evening. Boo

[justamouse]

You know, we were able to talk to our response in these situations, and these kids WANT To say something, but they're scared. And you know, I can't blame them, because to have all of that fire turned toward you?

 

We, as adults struggle with standing up for what is right--and to a certain extent, we can control our environment to avoid such people--but school? We make them go, tell them this is right and what is expected of them, and then set them a sail...with what help? No day to day, hour to hour help. And that is what they need. They really shouldn't be left alone in large groups for long times. It devolves into Lord of the Flies.

[DarlaS]

put my kids in public school.

 

I just got done teaching CCD to 8th graders. We were talking about the dignity of every person, how we are all made in the image of God, and the talk eventually led to bullying.

 

The *horror* stories these kids were telling me--of what goes on every day, day after day, and the worst part?

 

That they think this is *normal*. That this is how normal people communicate and treat each other.

 

It is no wonder we have women who get plastic surgery to look like barbie, and mothers who glue their kids hands to the walls.

 

They were *laughing* as they told me a story of how a TEACHER told the 'annoying' kid to go take something down to the principal and how the class locked the door, turned out the lights and hid.

 

I am...I don't even know. Sickened. My heart is aching for these kids. ALL of them, that have to deal with this gauntlet every singe day.

 

No. No education is worth that--to have their very spirit crushed.

 

Thank you for posting this. I need to go inform my 15 year old that we will never go there no matter what kind of day/week/month/year we might be having.

 

And yes, we've had a lot of those days lately. :willy_nilly:

[justamouse]

Thank you for posting this. I need to go inform my 15 year old that we will never go there no matter what kind of day/week/month/year we might be having.

 

And yes, we've had a lot of those days lately. :willy_nilly:

 

I came home and told mine that they will NEVER step foot in PS. :grouphug:

 

I still feel like I've been punched in the gut and that's just from listening to them decompress about it all.

[Audrey]

 

No. No education is worth that--to have their very spirit crushed.

 

:iagree: It's part of the reason why I started homeschooling, and most of the reason why I continue. I am lucky in that my ds has never wanted to go to ps, and still says he wants to homeschool all the way through high school. When I think of what his friends endure, my heart breaks for them. I don't think my heart could take it if my own ds were having to endure that day after day.

[besroma]

Wow. It really is just terrible. The bullying, the lack of humanity....just stinks

 

:iagree:

 

Thanks for posting.

[justamouse]

:iagree: It's part of the reason why I started homeschooling, and most of the reason why I continue. I am lucky in that my ds has never wanted to go to ps, and still says he wants to homeschool all the way through high school. When I think of what his friends endure, my heart breaks for them. I don't think my heart could take it if my own ds were having to endure that day after day.

 

That is exactly how I felt, Audrey.

[Heatherwith4]

Thanks for the reminder...today was one of those days when I was imagining how clean my house would be if they were in PS. It's not worth it.

[mom2scouts]

That is one of the main reasons I started homeschooling. My sweet but quirky kid took so much abuse that he was losing all self confidence and became a very different child.

[MrsMommy]

This is so hard for me. My younger DS is in public school because he has special needs, and I know that academically, it's right for him. I worry about him socially as he gets older, though...

 

When I was in high school, one of my teachers was a ringleader in making fun of the special ed class. I feel sick thinking back on it...if a teacher can do that, what will the students be capable of?

[Jpoy85]

This is why i HATE when my parents and others say " You did just fine in public school ". Did I? Do these kids?

[Xuzi]

Those poor kids. :(

 

I had a moment like this today, where I felt *so* grateful that my kids weren't being subjected to that kind of abuse from their peers (because that's what it is. soul crushing abuse). I was looking at my 3rd grader today and was comparing what her social life has been like thus far, compared to what my social life had been like up to 3rd grade, and I just want to go back and hug my 3rd grade self, because I had already suffered SO much "teasing" by that point. Being nick-named "madusa" by my whole class, being pulled off the swings by my hair, dealing with the "mean girl" drama, and even having a teacher come at me with a pair of scissors offering to trim my eyebrows (they have "pixie points" to them, and I actually *did* start to cut off the points in middle school after I found my mom's eyebrown scissors, all because of that 3rd grade memory. I wear them with pride now).

 

DD's social life is still very much like it was in Kindergarten and pre-school, where "everyone's a friend". When we go to the park she'll play with whatever kid is there. Whether they're older, younger, fat, small, special needs, or of a different race. She doesn't see any reason NOT to play with someone who's willing to play with her. And her self-confidence is amazing! I am in awe of her spirit, because it is so not like what mine was at that age. It even further solidifies my desire to homeschool for as long as I possibly can, so that no bully will have the chance to squash that out of her or make her feel ashamed.

[Shellers]

... The *horror* stories these kids were telling me--of what goes on every day, day after day, and the worst part?

 

That they think this is *normal*. That this is how normal people communicate and treat each other.

 

It is no wonder we have women who get plastic surgery to look like barbie, and mothers who glue their kids hands to the walls.

 

They were *laughing* as they told me a story of how a TEACHER told the 'annoying' kid to go take something down to the principal and how the class locked the door, turned out the lights and hid.

 

I am...I don't even know. Sickened. My heart is aching for these kids. ALL of them, that have to deal with this gauntlet every singe day.

 

No. No education is worth that--to have their very spirit crushed.

 

I have one DD in public high school (her choice) and I have heard FAR WORSE stories. :001_huh:

[Hockey Mom]

That is one of the main reasons I started homeschooling. My sweet but quirky kid took so much abuse that he was losing all self confidence and became a very different child.

 

:iagree:

 

It happened to mine as well. :( Never again.

[FO4UR]

We get enough exposure from neighborhood kids. It's bad enough that I have been rearranging our schedule so that the kids can play outside while they are in school.

 

 

There is one other HSing family in our neighborhood, and those kids - while still kids who like to play too rough, too messy, too loud sometimes - would never intentionally harm other children. My dc and theirs can spend an entire afternoon playing and not have any major issues, other than muddy jeans.

 

 

There is a pecking order established at the ps, and I prefer my dc to stay out of it. Other girls feel "bad" that my dd does not wear make-up or have a boyfriend (She is 7yo!:001_huh:). The boys brag about being the meanest bully, and strive to prove it. They are only nice to my dc when they want something from them, and then they pull garbage that is, quite frankly, from the "How to grow up to be an emotionally/verbally abusive person" handbook.:glare:

 

The librarian hosts a book club for kids 4th grade and up. It is a big treat for my ds9. We live right next door to the library, so I send him up alone and it's really his first independent thing. The other kids come straight from the ps to the library, and the stuff they try to pull on the librarian is crazy. (She handles it well, calls parents and cancels as needed.) Seeing that, ds9 is appreciative that he doesn't have to deal with it all day.

 

 

It is interesting trying to teach my dc how to navigate these waters. I can't imagine sending them into that all day every day. Honestly, if people acted as adults at work the way kids act towards each other at school, police could be called and people arrested....HR could be called and people fired...

[Shellers]

There is a pecking order established at the ps, and I prefer my dc to stay out of it. Other girls feel "bad" that my dd does not wear make-up or have a boyfriend (She is 7yo!:001_huh:). The boys brag about being the meanest bully, and strive to prove it. They are only nice to my dc when they want something from them, and then they pull garbage that is, quite frankly, from the "How to grow up to be an emotionally/verbally abusive person" handbook.:glare:

 

Yep, my homeschooled girl is 16 and my ps girl is 15. Neither one of them wear makeup, and while they get lots of compliments for their skin, they are looked down upon. I don't care if they wear makeup.

 

They don't have boyfriends either. I ask my girls, "How is a boyfriend at this age going to get you to where you want to be in life?"

 

I can't imagine having that pressure at seven. :confused:

[justamouse]

I have one DD in public high school (her choice) and I have heard FAR WORSE stories. :001_huh:

 

They were telling me worse, that was just the portion where the person in charge was the ringleader! The safe person ... how do you deal when there's no safe person in that mess?

[Arcadia]

I am...I don't even know. Sickened. My heart is aching for these kids. ALL of them, that have to deal with this gauntlet every singe day.

 

:sad: Hubby has a colleague who had to log three police reports of bullying of his daughter in high school and no action was taken. While we had decided to school at home before that, it did make hubby think about not sending our kids to public high school.

[Shelsi]

It's funny, it never occurred to me until we were maybe a year or two into HSing but I have a feeling one of the reasons it was so easy for me to pull my oldest out of public school kindy was because of my own experiences with bullying.

 

It is one of my biggest fears that my children will be forced to endure the things I did. The viciousness of the kids in my class from 2nd grade all the way to my senior year of high school had a profound affect on who I turned out to be and not in a good way. To this day I still will get paranoid and wonder if perhaps my best friend of 15 years is just playing a cruel joke on me and isn't really my friend. I have a fear and distrust of people in general. I just could not stand if that happened to my kids.

[Seasider]

Sigh.

 

That's why dh and I have a home school friendly guardian and a really big life insurance policy all set up.

 

Hope you can manage to be a good influence during the time you're with them, justamouse.

[Mama2Many4]

I agree with you on every point. Now, as for teaching CCD itself. I teach for our parish, and my children attend for free because I'm there anyway and DH works Sunday's. Well, my 2nd grader was trying to fill out his workbook as instructed and asked for help from his CCD "teacher". Well, he came up to me while I was teaching my 5th grade class and asked me to explain the page to him. I did, and asked why he didn't ask his teacher first. He said she told him to see if he could figure it out on his own! :eek:

 

I have a feeling that this type of scenario is very common in the public schools where teachers are overwhelmed by the sheer volume of children entrusted to them to instruct. Needless to say, I'm going to have a talk with our parish priest this week about what happened. Thankfully we study our Faith Formation everyday while homeschooling. I wouldn't trust their souls to some who volunteer as catechists! :001_rolleyes:

[GWOB]

:iagree: It's part of the reason why I started homeschooling, and most of the reason why I continue. I am lucky in that my ds has never wanted to go to ps, and still says he wants to homeschool all the way through high school. When I think of what his friends endure, my heart breaks for them. I don't think my heart could take it if my own ds were having to endure that day after day.

 

:iagree: My oldest dd is such a sweet girl, except for when she is being 12 and hormonal:tongue_smilie:. She takes everything personally. I just cannot imagine her dealing with 7th grade drama and emerging without severe damage to her self-image. My sweet, funny, dorky, lovable ds just has not clue when kids are teasing/taking advantage of him. Sounds good, but he would just get lead into so many terrible things because he thinks everyone is his friend. Dd5 really could not care less what people think of her. She'd be fine socially, until she absolutely refused to conform (she will never be one to conform to anything).

 

I refuse to accept the fact that children somehow need to deal with stupid bullies in order to be well-adjusted. As an adult, I can just walk away. No one is forcing me to deal with idiots on a daily basis. If I think a situation is detrimental, I can leave it. Ps kids can't. My kids would have their souls smothered in that situation.

 

So I'm with you on rejecting ps. It just ain't happening here.

[sewingmama]

I agree with you. It's one of the top reasons I will not send my children to school. I was the victim of relentless bullying and it left lasting scars I still carry.

 

My DD inherited the same genetic issue that made me the target of bullies all through high school. I will not let her go through the same thing and have her self esteem plummet to zero - like mine is.

 

 

My DH is a high school teacher. He has seen tons of bullying and can't do anything about it unless he actually sees it happen or the victim reports it (which most won't out of fear). He once knew a student who was raped by another student but he could not get the girl to admit it to him. He went and told the school principal anyway who replied "Well I can't do anything about it unless she makes an accusation". So nothing was done -even though the boy bragged about it and all of the girls friends knew it happened (that is how DH found out they told him) but second hand evidence was not accepted.

Edited October 16, 2012 by sewingmama

[Mama Geek]

You know, we were able to talk to our response in these situations, and these kids WANT To say something, but they're scared. And you know, I can't blame them, because to have all of that fire turned toward you?

 

We, as adults struggle with standing up for what is right--and to a certain extent, we can control our environment to avoid such people--but school? We make them go, tell them this is right and what is expected of them, and then set them a sail...with what help? No day to day, hour to hour help. And that is what they need. They really shouldn't be left alone in large groups for long times. It devolves into Lord of the Flies.

 

And then some still argue that Christian kids should be in the schools to witness to others. You can't send kids in under those circumstances and expect them to be able to do that. That's not saying they wouldn't reach out to anyone, but how can you send them in to that environment where things are so stacked against them. And yes I know that most of us survived and some of us thrived in a ps.

 

I do understand that homeschooling is not possible for all and I really have no idea if private schools are any better, but even that is not possible for some.

Edited October 16, 2012 by Mama Geek

[MIch elle]

No, I don't see this happening. I've been working as a substitute teacher for over 2 years now in grades 3-12 in 2 different public school systems. These schools WORK hard to create a culture of respect. Anti-bullying is the law in our state; schools are required to report bullying.

 

I'm sorry that disrespect happens in schools and in the wider community. It takes strong individuals, communities, and schools to change it.

[angela in ohio]

No, I don't see this happening. I've been working as a substitute teacher for over 2 years now in grades 3-12 in 2 different public school systems. These schools WORK hard to create a culture of respect. Anti-bullying is the law in our state; schools are required to report bullying.

 

I'm sorry that disrespect happens in schools and in the wider community. It takes strong individuals, communities, and schools to change it.

 

Yep, this hasn't been our experience here, either. I've been really surprised by how far the other way it has been, but it is a small town school. But I know of other schools in neighboring communities that have had issues. It really depends on the culture of the school.

 

OTOH, all three of my dc have been bullied at different points, one physically and two verbally, all by homeschoolers. :glare: So it's no guarantee. The helpful thing with homeschooling is that you can fix the situation, though it usually means pulling out of an activity your dc enjoy.

[G5052]

Locally I've heard that the bullying and misbehavior in the schools isn't that bad, but I mostly talk to graduates at the local community college and so my information may not be entirely correct of course. I've been to the local high school several times during the day, and I didn't feel uncomfortable at all.

 

That said, we're staying in there to the end. Academically I know that we're doing better, and I prefer the focus we have at home.

[Chris in VA]

Dd's experience so far has been very positive. To me, she doesn't seem that quirky, and she's fairly attractive. I wonder if those outward attributes make the difference in how kids treat other kids? I do believe many (not all) kids are shallow at 12yo, and need guidance on how to not be.

 

Never, never thought I'd send her to Jr. Hi, and I was severely bullied in my day, so I KNOW it can get super bad. But I sent her, and so far, it's been good.

 

I wonder A. What's coming? and B. What she isn't telling me.

[Verity]

:iagree:

 

It happened to mine as well. :( Never again.

 

I had my oldest ds in ps through the start of 4th grade while I was completing my college degree in education...the combination of what I saw in schools and how I saw his spirit being crushed (that was the exact phrase we used too) prompted me to pull him out only two months into 4th grade. Even at that young age the bullying and tormenting was horrible. I can only imagine what he would deal with now at 8th grade.

[Joker]

Dd's experience so far has been very positive. To me, she doesn't seem that quirky, and she's fairly attractive. I wonder if those outward attributes make the difference in how kids treat other kids? I do believe many (not all) kids are shallow at 12yo, and need guidance on how to not be.

 

Never, never thought I'd send her to Jr. Hi, and I was severely bullied in my day, so I KNOW it can get super bad. But I sent her, and so far, it's been good.

 

I wonder A. What's coming? and B. What she isn't telling me.

 

These threads make me wonder the same, but younger is still home and older dd knows she could homeschool again at any time. She loves middle school and says the kids all seem nice. She's not friends with everyone but says no one has been mean at all. This is her second year at this middle school, and I guess we're just fortunate that this school is not like any of the ones mentioned in these types of threads.

[Chris in VA]

These threads make me wonder the same, but younger is still home and older dd knows she could homeschool again at any time. She loves middle school and says the kids all seem nice. She's not friends with everyone but says no one has been mean at all. This is her second year at this middle school, and I guess we're just fortunate that this school is not like any of the ones mentioned in these types of threads.

 

Yeah, same here. I will say two effects I've noticed during the 3 years of ps she's had (in a row)--

 

1. She feels different for not having a cell phone, an ipod, and not being able to watch or read whatever.

 

2. She has no Christian friends at school--everyone is nice, and I'm really fine with her meeting and being "friends" (no one calls or invites over--she emails and spends the school day with them) with non-Christians. But she does notice. She has a great youth group at church, and most of the kids there are Christian, and the values and worldview is Christian in the youth group b/c of the leadership (both of adults and the Christian kids), so she's getting exposed outside the home--But it's not at school. I know she's not the only Christian! lol--BUT it is a silent (for the most part) faith in her school.

 

If she were bullied, or distressed, or otherwise OBVIOUSLY negatively impacted in ps, it would be easier to pull her. That's rather sad. I do not know what effect ps will have on her. It is the "subtle evil" that is the most dangerous, isn't it?

[Joker]

Yeah, same here. I will say two effects I've noticed during the 3 years of ps she's had (in a row)--

 

1. She feels different for not having a cell phone, an ipod, and not being able to watch or read whatever.

 

2. She has no Christian friends at school--everyone is nice, and I'm really fine with her meeting and being "friends" (no one calls or invites over--she emails and spends the school day with them) with non-Christians. But she does notice. She has a great youth group at church, and most of the kids there are Christian, and the values and worldview is Christian in the youth group b/c of the leadership (both of adults and the Christian kids), so she's getting exposed outside the home--But it's not at school. I know she's not the only Christian! lol--BUT it is a silent (for the most part) faith in her school.

 

If she were bullied, or distressed, or otherwise OBVIOUSLY negatively impacted in ps, it would be easier to pull her. That's rather sad. I do not know what effect ps will have on her. It is the "subtle evil" that is the most dangerous, isn't it?

 

I agree the little things can catch us off guard. Dd has been upset that she seems to be the only 7th grader with a bedtime. I think she's probably exaggerating the 'only' part, but we've had to tell her we don't care what the others are doing. She's rather unhappy about it.

 

She's also apparently one of the only girls who can't have a sleepover every single weekend. She does get a bit upset when we say no, but I think she's finally catching on to quit asking every week.

 

I thought she might be more bothered by peer pressure regarding hair, clothes, and makeup, but she honestly just isn't bothered by all of that. So, that's been a bonus.

[Kathryn]

How awful. This kind of thing really scares me. Our children will only go to school should something extreme happen, like my death. I don't think ODS would survive it, certainly not intact.

[DarlaS]

They were telling me worse, that was just the portion where the person in charge was the ringleader! The safe person ... how do you deal when there's no safe person in that mess?

 

You survive. Then you grow up and you homeschool your own kids. The lucky ones do anyway.

[Carrie12345]

I wonder A. What's coming? and B. What she isn't telling me.

 

This keeps me up at night.

 

The kicker is, if I recall correctly, my son goes to the high school justamouse is zoned for.

And he's an aspie loner/academic type. His father WAS bullied, but is in complete denial that it could happen in HIS area. :001_huh:

[Lisa3033]

I'm confused by your signature then, it says your 17 yo dd is in public school:confused:

 

My kids were begging to try public school. With a new baby at home and a dh who was not against homeschooling but not terribly supportive either I caved. It was a matter of days before they realized public school was not for them. And as far as I know, there was no bullying. It was just the regular school stuff they hated. 15 minutes to eat lunch, the ridiculous amounts of time wasted, the monotony of it all.

 

And what was ironic is that they received very good remarks from their teachers. Dd2's gym teacher even personally called me to tell me what a joy it was to have her in her class. How well she listens, how much effort she gives everything and on and on. Meanwhile my kids were miserable. After a couple weeks we pulled them out and they still talk about how they are never going back to public school.

[happypamama]

Ugh, those poor kids. The blind leading the blind, for sure.

 

Bullying was one reason I chose to homeschool my children. There are many others. I think my oldest child would not have thrived in public school at all. Then I look at my second child -- he's kind of little for his age, very shy, very sweet. He was so not ready to deal with rough boys on the playground, and I think he'd be the teacher's pet sort of kid. I'm afraid kids would have picked on him mercilessly (to say nothing of meeting his academic needs). I was always glad I chose to keep DD home, but as I've looked at DS1, I've been awfully glad I had the option to keep him home as well.

[Matryoshka]

No, I don't see this happening. I've been working as a substitute teacher for over 2 years now in grades 3-12 in 2 different public school systems. These schools WORK hard to create a culture of respect. Anti-bullying is the law in our state; schools are required to report bullying.

 

I'm sorry that disrespect happens in schools and in the wider community. It takes strong individuals, communities, and schools to change it.

 

:iagree: Children are savages. It's the adults' jobs to civilize them. I never said never to high school, but I pretty much always said never to middle school. I was teased/bullied all through elementary and it got worse in jr. high. I changed schools to get away from it. I never wanted my kids going through that. Middle school was the three years where I always said I'd never send my kids to school.

 

So, somehow my youngest is in middle school. :001_huh: Didn't see that coming. Part of what helped me make the decision was talking to a mom in town whose dd was really having a hard time with social stuff in the other middle school in town. She had gotten the administration involved, but nothing changed. She almost homeschooled her, but decided to try switching to the other middle school first. She said it was like night and day. Her dd had a great experience.

 

So... when my youngest pretty much flat-out refused to do anything she didn't like to do and was pestering me *all day* to watch TV/play videos, I thought maybe it was an option, where before it just wasn't.

 

So now she says to me, "Mom, school isn't at all like you told me it was. Everyone's nice, and I've never seen any bullying." Like I made it all up. I sincerely hope it continues this way! She tends to be oversensitive and easily offended, and complained and complained about bullying at gymnastics last year (which did finally get resolved), so it's not that she is clueless or has a thick skin...

 

Anyway, so I think school culture makes a huge difference, and I think it's really the adults that make it. I really can't believe that the kids on the other side of town are that much meaner...

[edelweiss]

Sigh.

 

That's why dh and I have a home school friendly guardian and a really big life insurance policy all set up.

 

Hope you can manage to be a good influence during the time you're with them, justamouse.

 

 

I really fear that I won't live to see my daughters through school. That scares me so much. We have plenty of life insurance and my daughters have trusts set up, so financially they would be more than okay, but I don't know that my sister would be confident enough or willing to allow them to continue to homeschool. Sigh... I hate to rush time, but I will be so happy once they have both graduated high school.

[justamouse]

And then some still argue that Christian kids should be in the schools to witness to others. You can't send kids in under those circumstances and expect them to be able to do that. That's not saying they wouldn't reach out to anyone, but how can you send them in to that environment where things are so stacked against them. And yes I know that most of us survived and some of us thrived in a ps.

 

I do understand that homeschooling is not possible for all and I really have no idea if private schools are any better, but even that is not possible for some.

 

I worked at a prestigious prep school while I was in HS and man, oh man, it was BAD there. Even if I had the $, I don't think I'd put mine in prep.

 

Dd's experience so far has been very positive. To me, she doesn't seem that quirky, and she's fairly attractive. I wonder if those outward attributes make the difference in how kids treat other kids? I do believe many (not all) kids are shallow at 12yo, and need guidance on how to not be.

 

Never, never thought I'd send her to Jr. Hi, and I was severely bullied in my day, so I KNOW it can get super bad. But I sent her, and so far, it's been good.

 

I wonder A. What's coming? and B. What she isn't telling me.

 

My oldest daughter is gorgeous and I *know* that's the grease for the wheels where she is. I see it, and I see the other girls who aren't struggling SO much.

 

As I told my daughter, yes, you are pretty, but guess what? You had nothing to do with it, you won the genetic roulette, and you'd better make your inside as pretty as your outside.

 

She does use it to her advantage, though. She has had young men after her, and she caught some of them bullying a boy with emotional problems and she laid them flat. She told them THAT was why she refused to date them.

 

This keeps me up at night.

 

The kicker is, if I recall correctly, my son goes to the high school justamouse is zoned for.

 

And he's an aspie loner/academic type. His father WAS bullied, but is in complete denial that it could happen in HIS area. :001_huh:

 

:grouphug: I've heard it both ways over there. THe kids who are on the outside are all but ignored. There are some geeks and nerds who make it through with flying colors because they are so respected for their smarts. But if they're not that smart?

 

I'm confused by your signature then, it says your 17 yo dd is in public school:confused:

 

 

My Dd17 went back in full time in 10th, in Vo Tech. By that time, we had worked hard to overcome her own bullying, we worked on her character, and her self esteem. She's done so well, but like I said, if she wasn't gorgeous, it would still devolve. She is strong enough that she can help those being bullied, but if I had never homeschooled her? SHe would have turned INTO a bully, because that was her coping mechanism for when SHE was being bullied.

 

I am still rolling these conversation s around in my head, and cannot quite get over it all.

[KungFuPanda]

It's threads like this that had me a nervous wreck and ready to do battle when I allowed my teen to enroll in our local public high school, even though my own public school experience was wonderful. The folks at Dds, public, suburban high school put me at ease as soon as I met them and the crushing negative weight of threads like this was lifted. I'm not discounting anyone else's experience, I just feel compelled to mention that school is not always a guaranteed path to intensive therapy and insisting that it is can create unnecessary fear.

 

Dd (sophomore/16 in Jan) and her friends aren't all dating, or outcast, or miserable, or even violating dress code. They're sweet, bright, and funny kids who seem to genuinely care for one another. Some of her homeschooling friends attended the homecoming dance and some of her public schooled friends attended the homeschool co-op's Halloween party.

 

I have a kid in ps and a kid at home. I wouldn't 'die' if I had to educate either of them differently and I've got to say that the extremist views on either side of the spectrum sound VERY alike to me.

[Ellie]

And then some still argue that Christian kids should be in the schools to witness to others.

It makes me crazy when people say that. :mad:

[Georgiana Daniels]

Our oldest went to public high school and this thread reinforces our decision to keep the little ones home as long as possible. Our daughter was bullied because she's a Christian, but thankfully the school took it seriously and called the kid in--along with the on-campus cop--and dealt with it.