Jump to content

Menu
Giving You and Your Child a Road Map to the Best Possible Education
The Well-Trained Mind Community

So disappointed in my family!

melissad2
 Share

Recommended Posts

melissad2

melissad2

Posted
Posted

I had a baby shower today (diaper and wipe shower) and two dear friends put in a tremendous amount of time and effort into making it nice. Well, out of 30 invites only 3 bothered to show up :( I make an effort to attend all the junk they invite me to but that is going to change!

 

Grrrrrrrr!

Link to comment
Share on other sites
TheReader

TheReader

Posted
Posted
I had a baby shower today (diaper and wipe shower) and two dear friends put in a tremendous amount of time and effort into making it nice. Well, out of 30 invites only 3 bothered to show up :( I make an effort to attend all the junk they invite me to but that is going to change!

 

Grrrrrrrr!

 

:grouphug:

 

I'm so sorry more of your family didn't come to your shower.

 

:grouphug:

Link to comment
Share on other sites
KristenR

KristenR

Posted
Posted
:grouphug: I'm sorry, that is terrible. Regardless of what someone thinks of showers for baby #3 (for the record, I think they're fine and I had one for each of my kids), how hard is it to pick up a pack of diapers and show up to the party for an hour or two?

 

I feel sorry that the OP feelings were hurt. I'm curious did anyone RSVP? If people said they were going to come and didn't- well that's just wrong.

 

And as for having multiple baby showers, I know plenty of people here in the south that do it for every kid. However, I think I picked up my parent's northern (or maybe it was an Italian) notion to only do it for the first child.

 

But again, to each their own. And if your family and friends had led you to believe they were coming only to not show- well then you have every right to be annoyed.

 

I would say to try and not let it bother you -- but I can imagine it will for awhile.

:grouphug:

Link to comment
Share on other sites
melissad2

melissad2

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Virtual hugs make me :)

 

Out of 30 invites 6 called to say they were not coming. I did not expect my MIL to come either as she is odd (that's another long story). However the rest did not call and say they were not coming. It's not about the gifts...I don't really need anything but just showing up. I'm in the south and it is common to have showers for each baby usually a diaper/wipe shower for subsequent babies especially of the same gender.

 

Oh well...going to eat a whole lotta cake now ;)

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Night Elf

Night Elf

Posted
Posted
Oh well...going to eat a whole lotta cake now ;)

 

Oh yeah.. silver lining! FWIW, I would have been happy to come to your shower even if it was your 20th baby! Babies are cool! Parties are cool! Cake is cool! However, games with toilet paper wrapped around the pregnant mom's belly isn't so cool though. Or is it just me that felt yucky about that game?

Link to comment
Share on other sites
T'smom

T'smom

Posted
Posted
I will say that I never attended showers beyond ones for first babies, not even amongst some of my close family. It's just not common here to have one after baby #1. I buy gifts after the birth, but haven't participated in anything else.

 

Well, it must not be terribly uncommon if you've had multiple chances to turn down invitations- even amongst your close family.

 

OP-:grouphug::grouphug:

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Chris in VA

Chris in VA

Posted
Posted

Not a baby shower, but once I was one of two "guests of honor" at a school party--we were teachers leaving after being there for several years. 3 of 30 families showed up. What a slap in the face--and the dear folks throwing it went all out and had catered food and everything. It was so embarrassing and horrible.

 

I'm sorry your family was so...frustratingly rude. Try not to take it personally.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
amo_mea_filiis.

amo_mea_filiis.

Posted
Posted
Oh yeah.. silver lining! FWIW, I would have been happy to come to your shower even if it was your 20th baby! Babies are cool! Parties are cool! Cake is cool! However, games with toilet paper wrapped around the pregnant mom's belly isn't so cool though. Or is it just me that felt yucky about that game?

 

I just looked for the "like" button! Lol.

 

It is wrong that no one showed. I had that happen a lot and then just gave up with all parties. The kids and i do something for our birthdays.

 

I had the same with both of my baby showers, and engagement party.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
StaceyinLA

StaceyinLA

Posted
Posted (edited)
Well, it must not be terribly uncommon if you've had multiple chances to turn down invitations- even amongst your close family.

 

 

It has become a little more common, but out of 4 nieces, and 2 nieces-in-law, only one had multiple showers. They were given by her friends, and the bulk of our family didn't attend.

 

We love and celebrate babies and all that, but, especially for same sex babies fairly close together, I guess many assume you will have the things you need.

 

I love bringing gifts and I make meals and all those things when baby is born, but idk, we just don't do the showers for whatever reason.

Edited by StaceyinLA
Link to comment
Share on other sites
StephanieZ

StephanieZ

Posted
Posted

I think that is AWFUL.

 

I try to use experiences like this as a learning experience . . . You learn who cares about you and who does not. Direct your love and attention towards people who reciprocate . . . and let go of the fantasy of a supportive loving family of origin.

 

CONGRATULATIONS on your baby-to-be. Don't waste one more minute thinking about those people. Just love on your babies and your dh and your friends/family who love on you.

 

:grouphug::grouphug:

Link to comment
Share on other sites
SKL

SKL

Posted
Posted

Sorry that happened to you. In retrospect (not that it helps now), it would have been helpful if someone followed up on the RSVPs that did not come back. For my shower, we dug out everyone's email address so it was easy to follow up.

 

I have to admit that I'm not the best at RSVPing for informal stuff like baby showers, especially if I "am" going to show up. I do like to attend baby showers regardless of how many kids the person already has. But I know that it's considered kind of tacky around here to have serial showers. Maybe it's a regional thing. Even if there isn't a shower, people still bring gifts after the baby is born.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
joannqn

joannqn

Posted
Posted (edited)

I personally think it is rude not to RSVP. I also think it is rude to just show up without providing an RSVP and to skip after you've said you'd come. It's so hard to plan an event when you don't know what to expect for attendance.

 

I'm sorry they treated you so poorly.

 

 

I don't understand the no showers for babies after the first. How do you know that person got a shower for their first? My only baby showers I received were for my third, and they were both unlikely groups. One was thrown by a support group I attended. The other was the three people DH worked with. No one threw a shower for me for my first, second, or fourth children. It really hurt that no one we knew cared about my pregnancies (with the two exceptions noted), especially since our large church frequently announced baby showers in the bulletin for other people.

Edited by joannqn
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Audrey

Audrey

Posted
Posted (edited)
I will say that I never attended showers beyond ones for first babies, not even amongst some of my close family. It's just not common here to have one after baby #1. I buy gifts after the birth, but haven't participated in anything else.

 

 

:iagree: That's my general approach as well. I've always thought showers were only for first babies and first marriages. That was always the unwritten rule where I grew up (in the South), and seems to be the same here as well. I do, however, always RSVP either a yes or a no for everything. I think it's awful the invitees did not RSVP properly to the OP's party. That's just unacceptable no matter what kind of party it was.

Edited by Audrey
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Lisbeth

Lisbeth

Posted
Posted
:iagree: That's my general approach as well. I've always thought showers were only for first babies and first marriages. That was always the unwritten rule where I grew up (in the South), and seems to be the same here as well. I do, however, always RSVP either a yes or a no for everything. I think it's awful the invitees did not RSVP properly to the OP's party. That's just unacceptable no matter what kind of party it was.

 

Same here. I'll add that I am an Aspie and never neglect to RSVP. If I can do it, others have no excuse...lol. I was taughy manners by a Southern Belle. Why can't people make a quick call. Really?:grouphug:

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Denisemomof4

Denisemomof4

Posted
Posted

 

people assume you dont need multiple showers because "you should still have stuff"....yeah maybe the bigger things but what about diapers, wipes, bottles, clothes?!

 

I guess this is what a diaper and wipe shower is:confused: I never heard of that before.

 

OP-:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: that was rotten of your family.

 

Chris in VA? That is awful!!!:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Soror

Soror

Posted
Posted
Virtual hugs make me :)

 

Out of 30 invites 6 called to say they were not coming. I did not expect my MIL to come either as she is odd (that's another long story). However the rest did not call and say they were not coming. It's not about the gifts...I don't really need anything but just showing up. I'm in the south and it is common to have showers for each baby usually a diaper/wipe shower for subsequent babies especially of the same gender.

 

Oh well...going to eat a whole lotta cake now ;)

It was the same here with #3. I didn't want the gifts but to celebrate the baby. Luckily I do have good friends that showed up. Next time I only plan to invite close relatives.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Shellers

Shellers

Posted
Posted

:grouphug:

 

I will say that I never attended showers beyond ones for first babies, not even amongst some of my close family. It's just not common here to have one after baby #1. I buy gifts after the birth, but haven't participated in anything else.

 

Same here! I only had a baby shower for my first.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
NanceXToo

NanceXToo

Posted
Posted

I'm sorry. That would be very hurtful. :grouphug:

 

And it was REALLY rude of them not to RSVP. RSVP means you call either way and say "yes" or "no," not just ignore the invitation! I, too, would have had somebody track them down with a "well are you coming or aren't you?" but that is not relevant now. It's a shame they even HAVE to be nannied like that. I don't get people!

Link to comment
Share on other sites
thescrappyhomeschooler

thescrappyhomeschooler

Posted
Posted
I'm sorry. That would be very hurtful. :grouphug:

 

And it was REALLY rude of them not to RSVP. RSVP means you call either way and say "yes" or "no," not just ignore the invitation! I, too, would have had somebody track them down with a "well are you coming or aren't you?" but that is not relevant now. It's a shame they even HAVE to be nannied like that. I don't get people!

 

:iagree:

Link to comment
Share on other sites
StaceyinLA

StaceyinLA

Posted
Posted
:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

people assume you dont need multiple showers because "you should still have stuff"....yeah maybe the bigger things but what about diapers, wipes, bottles, clothes?!

 

if you're having a same gender for sure, that you'll still have clothing. I'd never give diapers and wipes as a gift anyway (unless they were cloth) because I like to give more personal items.

 

And for the record, I also think it was crummy that people didn't RSVP. That's just rude no matter what the occasion.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
PeacefulChaos

PeacefulChaos

Posted
Posted
:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

people assume you dont need multiple showers because "you should still have stuff"....yeah maybe the bigger things but what about diapers, wipes, bottles, clothes?!

 

:iagree: A good friend of mine just had her 2nd girl but she didn't have any clothes for her - she was born in February and her 1st was in July! I went to the consignment shop after the shower and picked up a bunch of little outfits and stuff for her.

Either way, I'm sorry that no one showed. :( I hate when that happens.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
melissad2

melissad2

Posted
  • Author
Posted

I had my pity party this morning and other than a horrible sore throat I'm feeling better. I actually don't really need much even though I had given away most of my baby clothes. I didn't think we would have any more because the other two were the result of fertility treatments. So this "surprise" baby has a lot of new clothes plus some that my friend gave me so we are set on clothing. I was about to give away my swing and bouncy seat but couldn't part with them yet :). Good instinct I guess:).

 

I mostly feel bad that my friends put so much effort into it and hardly anyone showed up. I have the cutest diaper cake and wreath to show for it though! And the cake was delicious!

Link to comment
Share on other sites
melissad2

melissad2

Posted
  • Author
Posted
No offense, but I wouldn't attend a baby shower for someone who already has two kids. IMO, baby showers are for new mothers - ie women who haven't been mothers before.

 

None taken, but I always figured baby showers were for babies and not mommys. After all it is the baby that gets the gifts...and don't all babies deserve a celebration? Most of the people in my family have had more than one baby shower.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...