Middle school age? Of course! But I would check the laws in your state first just to make sure it's on your side. In my state, it is legal to leave children in the car unattended as long as the car is not running and the weather is not inclement. (Too hot OR too cold). But for goodness sake, my middle school age child babysits for me at home- why wouldn't he be able to sit in a locked car alone for a few minutes?

I'm heartbroken for you, Rosie. I am so very sorry. Words aren't enough.

I have three. They're all large and visible- that's not a problem for me. They were all original art drawn for me by the artist (well, one is a quote so I guess it's not art) and well thought out. I didn't start getting tattoo'd until after I was 30. I am saving for my fourth, which will either be a rose half sleeve or two large roses on my shoulder and arm. All are black and grey. I love mine. They are part of a metamorphosis to me-- it's all very personal so I don't tend to tell people the "meanings" behind my tattoos. It's enough that they are meaningful to me, IFYWIM.

I got my first paycheck in 11 years yesterday. :) Wasn't very big- but man did it feel good to have earned it!

Well, typically it'd be a vodka sprite or a glass of wine… but tonight? I just spiked my eggnog. ;)

But she didn't say that someone caring for her child had been drinking. She said that some of the adults were drinking. Not the mom who was watching her son. Her concern wasn't that the person caring for her son was impaired. Her concern was that her son would see an alcoholic drink in the hand of an adult.

Yes, we waited quite a bit to tell with #4 and #5. With #5 I had my dh tell family members I knew would have less than enthusiastic or rude reactions. ;) As far as waiting because of the risk of miscarriage- pregnancy news spreads like wildfire, and having to tell a vague acquaintance you just ran into in the grocery store who is loudly congratulating you on your pregnancy that you, in fact, lost the baby just adds to the pain of the loss. After that experience I always told a very few close friends or family members with the stipulation that it be kept on the DL until I was further along.

With the variance of replies from Canadians on here, I wonder if this has more to do with locality than with the system itself. I have lived in areas where this would be the case in the US- low quality doctors, inferior care, long wait times, etc. I have lived in areas where I have amazing doctors- thorough, caring, get you in quickly and work to develop a good relationship. Same system, same coverage- vast difference in care. Thoughts?

Yes, but here in the US we pay our taxes, AND our monthly insurance premiums, AND our deductibles, AND whatever percentage of treatment isn't covered by insurance, AND for procedures that are not covered by insurance… I would venture to guess that after adding all of that up we are paying much more in the US for far less coverage. This is a really interesting thread. Loving all the info. Makes me want to move the 300 or so miles up to Canada, frankly. ;)

Facebook has many ways you can control your input/output. You can hide anyone you want to so they don't show up on your timeline. You'll never see their updates unless you purposely go to their page and look. I use that one for particularly political people. ;) You can also utilize the "restricted list". Anyone you add to this list will not be able to see any of your updates unless you post them using a "public" privacy setting. I use this for particularly political people as well. ;) You can "block" anyone who is particularly troublesome. They won't see that you even have an account- unless you participate in the same "groups". Personally, I don't do groups. I am also an introvert and I don't like the dynamic in most groups I've been invited to. HTH! ETA- I ignore friend requests all the time. And I'm ok with unfriending people who are rude, toxic, etc. Even if I'm related to them. :p

Yes to the bolded and that's one of the most frustrating things about having a child with severe/possibly life threatening allergies. My son has been diagnosed with a latex allergy based on reactions and exposures but his test (blood) was negative. We carry Epi and proceed as though that is the allergen at the advice of the Dr. but there is always a fear in the back of your mind that you're avoiding the wrong thing. :(

iPhones and iPods actually have really good parental controls. I know for my 12 year old's iPod touch I own the passcodes (he isn't allowed to know them) so I control all downloads and content controls. Right now, because he's not really very internet savvy (he's just not really interested in surfing the web and never has been) I also have the internet and Youtube turned off and the content controls turned on. As he gets older and more conversations happen I'm sure we will reevaluate allowing internet on with controls. I think the technology is great and I have no problem letting my older kids take advantage of it-- but you HAVE to pay attention. Know what your kid's phone/ipod is capable of. Be familiar with how to use the technology and how to keep a close eye on activities.

I would do it in a heartbeat and plan to... someday. I've had 5 kids, lost all the weight and I feel fantastic. But the skin on my tummy is "wrinkled" and I'd LOVE to get it taken care of. And yes, if I had the tummy tuck I'd have the girls lifted a bit too.

Ugh. I hit my plateau a couple of weeks ago. Cannot lose despite running and really watching calories. I lost 7.9 lbs in two weeks and then just stopped. Granted, I'm within a healthy BMI-- but I'd REALLY like to lose 10 or so more lbs. I had to be on a progesterone supplement for a few months for some "female problems" and I put on 15 lbs!!!! :confused1: :glare: :cursing:

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

The bolded-- it's also important to understand that these types of patriarchal cults actually can attract abusive people. Because you do NOT question your authority and your parents hold god-like control over your life, it can foster abuse very, very easily. (And there are many, many stories of abuse.)

I have a feeling you and I have quite a bit in common. My dad was the one who put the kabosh on the whole "only wearing skirts and dresses".

:iagree: Except it doesn't have to be Buddha. It can be a Cabbage Patch doll. My parents let us keep our dolls that were given to us (because we were the "normal" ones) ... but only after they had burned their "birth certificates" to destroy any demons that had attached themselves to them. (See why I put "normal" in quotations marks?) :lol: I agree with everything SarahW says here- the statistic is that less than 1% of kids raised in ATI stay in it. So the chances are that at some point, some of them are going to want/need a place to escape. And yes, I say escape because, at the level of involvement you're describing, the likelihood is that when/if they leave they will be disowned by their family. Be that place. The only way you can do that at this point is to have a relationship with them that conveys to them (without challenging their beliefs that they clearly still hold) that you love them unconditionally and always will. And also? You rock. :thumbup1:

Audrey- I missed your post on the first page. Thanks for jumping in. I have had the exact same reaction to the book- which is why I posted. I felt like a lot of people were making assumptions about what the author had written, what her "agenda" was etc. based on an article that, I felt, took the most sensational story from the book out of context.

:grouphug: www.recoveringgrace.org Gothard/IBLP/ATI survivors group. You need to spend time reading there- they do a wonderful time at analyzing the spiritual abuse dished out by Gothard. I was raised in it-- not as deeply entrenched as it sounds like your family is-- but even to the extent that my parents believed his twisted teaching it greatly effected my relationship with God and my view of myself.

I appreciate that. Thank you. I also appreciate that you are in the middle of it. It's completely normal that something that would just make me raise my eyebrows would create a deeply personal reaction for you. :grouphug: To reiterate- I love adoption. I have adopted family members. And I think you should definitely have a cape covered in both glitter and sequins. :hurray:

You are clearly not interested in listening to what I am saying, because that's EXACTLY what I and others are doing, so I'm going to just go ahead and step back. The only reason I posted is because I seem to be the only person who has actually picked up the book and read it. Assumptions are being made about what is in the book, so I thought I'd put in my 2 cents- having actually read it.

I think this is actually key to our understanding of orphan care. And I see a rise in agencies and organizations, including the One Child Campaign, who are trying to help people understand that adoption is sometimes the answer- especially for true orphans with abusive situations or no living parents or extended family, but it isn't the only answer. There are, unfortunately, many many children in orphanages who are only there because their parent/parents can't afford to feed them. Some of their families believe they are only there temporarily. Adoption fees are anywhere from $25,000 to $65,000. That's not a comfortable thought. Like I said before, none of this has an easy answer. But the conversation is important.

Hmm. I don't think I said anything about Rick Warren speaking for all evangelicals. My point was that there IS a well-documented, mainstream, evangelical movement pushing adoption. RW was speaking at an adoption summit, with other evangelical churches were in attendance. I don't understand denying that there IS a movement. I'm glad that in your personal experience you haven't seen it in your churches. I have. You are correct that the whole "saving their souls from eternal damnation" is more of a fringe movement. Absolutely. Clearly, 1,000 children adopted is not a bad thing. The problem, IMHO is this whole numbers and goal setting thing evangelical churches like to do. (Saddleback is not alone in this) It feels dehumanizing- like these kids are just a new goal to reach. I also believe that it does contribute to an overall atmosphere of... classifying? (I can't really think of the right word)... church members, which can lead to feelings of pressure to be one of the adoptive parents. It just rubs me the wrong way. Maybe that's just me. Interestingly, the supply and demand issue is covered in the book (I haven't finished the book yet, so I'm sure it will be talked about more). She talks about the Ukraine fairly extensively, and it seems as though they have been pretty successful since limiting overseas adoption at stemming trafficking- nearly all babies and young children are adopted nationally now. Sadly, that leaves mostly older children or children with health problems for overseas adoption. Americans aren't as interested in those children, unfortunately. FWIW, I am very pro-adoption. I am not an adoptive parent, it just wasn't in the cards for me- but it is something that has been on my heart since I was very young. Adoptive parents have my eternal respect and love. Having said that, I recently witnessed an international adoption situation that left me feeling uneasy about the Christian adoption movement. Then, I read the Mother Jones article, I read some of the backlash, I read Jen Hatmaker's blog post and Caleb David's post- so I decided to read the book. And so far she's made a lot of very, very important points. It's a very emotional, nuanced, problematic, issue and I don't think anyone has all the answers. But pretending like everything is peachy-keen and there are no problems, corruption etc. isn't going to be helpful. The ends can't always justify the means.

Rick Warren is quoted at a 2012 Adoption Summit as saying "When I say 'orphan care' it's adoption first, second and last." He then goes on to boast about how they're now halfway to their goal of having 1,000 families in their congregation adopt. It IS being pushed in evangelicalism.