maybe I'm too old-fashioned....

[HappyLady]

My mom always told me I was born in the wrong generation and as I get older I believe that more and more.

 

I invited a mom and her children from a homeschooling group I joined over to my house to get to know them better. While we were talking she repeatedly pulled out her phone and checked, what I believed to be, Facebook. A couple of times she even commented out loud on something that was posted. I have to admit I was a bit annoyed because I find this to be rude.

 

Am I the only one who feels this way? I see this happening more and more where people are constantly on their phones, using them for the internet, while hanging out with other people.

 

I would never think to go on my laptop while I had a guest over and I would never expect them to surf the internet while visiting my home. Am I wrong or is this just the way of the world now?

[NotSoObvious]

No, I think this is totally rude, too.

[Brooketopia]

It's rude. Doesn't matter what age you are or from which generation you hail.

[*********]

That's rude.

 

I have a good girlfriend who does something similar. We get together about once a month with some other girlfriends for a mom's night out. She is ALWAYS texting her husband. Constantly. The whole time we're together. I mean, she participates in conversation, but she's also carrying on a conversation with her dh via text. Every. Single. Time. we get together.

 

I can understand if it happened 'sometimes'. I also understand checking in when you get there, taking random texts from dh and responding, etc. But she does it every single time, and it's never anything important. I know, 'cause she'll sometimes read us all the texts, which will say things like 'I love you smoochy poo' and the like. :tongue_smilie:

 

And no, they're not newlyweds. They've been married like 16 years. I don't get it, and I think it's rude.

[gardenmom5]

while many people may do that doesn't make it okay - she was rude.

[nertsmommy]

I have to chime in here. I find it very rude. Two days ago a friend was over and she took out her cell phone and made a call to someone else and talked for a little over 5 minutes. I wouldn't dream of picking up my home phone and calling someone else while I had company. I don't even answer the phone, unless it is an important call I've been waiting for, while someone is visiting.

[Ellie]

Rude, rude, rude.:glare:

[Ester Maria]

It is rude, yes.

[amo_mea_filiis.]

Rude!

 

I had a friend who would text while talking on the phone with you. You could hear all the clicking! She does the same face to face.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I agree that it is rude. The only time when I've been somewhere where it wasn't was when the person excused herself by saying "I'm sorry but I have to take this (or check this) because I'm expecting some important information from the doctor (or my husband)." There are times when that's happened to me or to my friends because life gets in the way. But that isn't what you were describing at all.

[Heather in Neverland]

Very rude

[mommymilkies]

I would also find it rude. I do sometimes text when talking to people, though. Only with dh about something important. I feel bad doing it, but usually it's because he only has a few minutes in between class and we're talking about medical issues with our kids that can't wait.

[Amy in NH]

I find this to be rude.

 

Am I the only one who feels this way?

 

:iagree: I also find it rude.

 

A good friend of mine texts repeatedly throughout our conversations anytime we get together. I really dislike feeling like I'm infringing on the time she'd rather spend communicating with someone else. IMO, if someone needs to take a call or text, they should excuse themselves, finish their conversation with the person on the phone, and then put it away.

Edited March 3, 2012 by Amy in NH

[In the Rain]

Yes, I think it is rude. I only pull out my phone to check email when my host is engaged in an extended phone conversation of her own. It keeps me from eavesdropping. :tongue_smilie: I would definitely check my phone if I received a text. I wouldn't respond though, unless it was an urgent issue from dh.

[LibraryLover]

It annoys the heck out of me. My oldest has been an offender in the past, although he has been changing his ways, at least in front of me, and I hope profs and prospective emplyers. I know he turns it off at theaters etc. I have asked him to not check, text, or talk on his phone in front of me. If it rings, excuse yourself, and do what you have to do. Don't text or talk in front of me without clarifying you're 'checking out'. My 18 yr old is very good about this, as is his gf. I would say it's a 50/50 split with the young people I know. I don't know any adults who check their phones without saying, "Excuse me", and then leaving the area to check, especially if it is a text from a spouse or child.

 

I can train a child of mine, but I can't retrain a rude adult.

 

Oh! One of my sisters plays Words With Friends. That's totally random timing, which bugs the crud out of me.

Edited March 3, 2012 by LibraryLover

[Coffeetime]

Very rude.

[Mergath]

I know one woman who, when she is with you, spends the entire time either texting, or talking on the phone while giving the "just a sec" finger. So rude. People who do that drive me insane. I usually don't even bring my cell with me most places.

[SKL]

I usually leave my phone in my car when I'm with people, or at least in my coat pocket. If there were some really important message/call I were waiting for, I would tell the other person up front and apologize for even glancing at my phone.

 

I don't have anyone in my life who behaves as you have described, or thinks she needs an immediate answer to a non-emergency text or email (or phone call for that matter).

 

ETA: Oh, wait a minute, there is one person. My workaholic business partner. I make no excuses for her. But with her, most people are used to it.

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

No, I think this is totally rude, too.

 

:iagree: I also feel this way about call waiting sometimes.

[angela in ohio]

I don't think it started with cell phones and FB. I've had friends over the years who would take telephone calls while you were at their home (even if there was a group of us there.)

 

Rude people just change with the times. :lol:

[HSMom2One]

I agree that it is rude. The only time when I've been somewhere where it wasn't was when the person excused herself by saying "I'm sorry but I have to take this (or check this) because I'm expecting some important information from the doctor (or my husband)." There are times when that's happened to me or to my friends because life gets in the way. But that isn't what you were describing at all.

 

:iagree: Life does happen, and there should be rare exceptions when it comes to this.

 

I would also find it rude. I do sometimes text when talking to people, though. Only with dh about something important. I feel bad doing it, but usually it's because he only has a few minutes in between class and we're talking about medical issues with our kids that can't wait.

 

:iagree: Again....rare exception, especially if it's dh and there is a time issue.

 

:iagree: I also find it rude.

 

A good friend of mine texts repeatedly throughout our conversations anytime we get together. I really dislike feeling like I'm infringing on the time she'd rather spend communicating with someone else. IMO, if someone needs to take a call or text, they should excuse themselves, finish their conversation with the person on the phone, and then put it away.

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree: That's exactly how I feel too.

 

 

Manners were created to help us be considerate of others. It's really about treating others the way we want to be treated. Maybe it's time to start talking about this with people when it happens, rather than just putting up with it.

 

Blessings,

Lucinda

[Dandelion]

Very rude.

 

There have been a few times when I've actually said to someone doing this: "Maybe we should reschedule? You seem super-busy right now." - in a sweet voice with just a hint of snark. :D It has usually worked - they apologized and ignored their phone for the rest of our time together.

[SweetIrony]

Once when I was in grad school in class my phone started vibrating. My texts were full (I never delete anything!) so I knew it was just going to keep vibrating and vibrating, trying to receive the text but not having room. I pulled out my phone, went in and deleted an old text so the new one could receive, then I put the phone away. It didn't occur to me until later that I should have just turned the phone off! My prof actually emailed me later to say that texting in class was very rude. Suddenly I saw how it looked from her perspective, and I was horrified. :blushing:

[Mommy22alyns]

Well, OP, I don't think your expectations are unreasonable in the slightest. I definitely agree with you. I hate to see people out to dinner and everyone's nose in a different electronic device.

[Kertie]

Rude and a sign of addiction.

 

I suspect this will become more and more "normal". Ugh.

 

Maybe we should keep a book on hand, and every time someone starts texting, surfing, etc., we just pull out a book and start reading. Maybe they'd get the point;).

[Jeannie in NJ]

I find it rude, I also hate when people keep the tv on while they have guests. I even hated this when I was in my 20's. When I was a child, my mom told me that when you have a guest over, they get your full attention, not the tv or anything else. She also taught me things such as you always call before you visit someone, never just drop in and if possible, and always when going for dinner, take a little something for the hostess (homemade goods, candle, wine whatever is best for the situation). I wish more people had these beliefs, mostly the never just drop in, call first.

[redsquirrel]

Very rude. She is an addict and can't let it go.

 

I have a friend whose work does depend on lots of texting and taking calls. But, he is very clear about what he is doing. He says things like "I have to respond to this for work" and he excuses himself for a few moments. If he has to take or make a call he does the same. It doesn't feel rude because we all know it is work, not just entertainment, and he always apologizes.

[Perry]

Yes, it is very rude. But I have to be honest and say that since I bought a smartphone, I am finding it more and more difficult to resist the urge to use it in social situations. I'm actually thinking of getting rid of it and going back to a dumb phone because of it.

[wisdomandpeace]

If you're in the wrong generation, then so am I, because neither can I stand this. And I see it mostly in teens, but also surprisingly often in adults! It's kind of ironic that homeschoolers are so frequently asked how they will "socialize" their children, because I notice that the homeschooled teens I know have far better manners/social skills than the ones who attend school!

[Catwoman]

You're not old-fashioned; she was rude.

 

Perhaps if you go to visit her, you could bring along a little portable DVD player and watch a movie while you chat with her. ;)

[cathmom]

I teach PT in a high school and one day last week I said to my teens, "It's so refreshing to glance at you guys and not see you staring at your phones!" I hadn't realized until that second how much it was bothering me to see my students at school constantly looking at their phones! I've started collecting them at the beginning of class because it was getting out of control.

[Amy in NH]

:iagree: I also feel this way about call waiting sometimes.

 

:iagree: Most of the time I will not answer call waiting when I am in a conversation with someone on the telephone. I usually don't even check the number during my conversation unless I'm waiting for a call from the kids.

[Elizabeth in MN]

I find it rude and am old-fashioned too. What drives me bonkers/sad is when I am at the Children's Museum and all the adults have their noses in their phones and totally miss the joy their kids are having.

[trlt]

Very rude. We were at Thanksgiving dinner at my in-laws house and my brother-in-law and sister-in-law kept checking their phones and messaging during dinner, seriously. They are 29 and 30, they should know better.

[Mommyof4ks]

No, I think this is totally rude, too.

 

:iagree: I am not that old either lol. It is likely my generation that this lady is from.

[Peaceful Isle]

Very rude... I would be tempted to ask her if another time would be better to get together, since she seems to have a lot on her mind. Put it back on her. Maybe she is just not thinking, and it might make her realize she is being rude, without you having to say it out loud. And it might be a help to her for later on in life.

[Ibbygirl]

Another vote for rude here too.

[Ibbygirl]

You're not old-fashioned; she was rude.

 

Perhaps if you go to visit her, you could bring along a little portable DVD player and watch a movie while you chat with her. ;)

 

ROFL :lol::lol::lol:

[Dustybug]

I teach PT in a high school and one day last week I said to my teens, "It's so refreshing to glance at you guys and not see you staring at your phones!" I hadn't realized until that second how much it was bothering me to see my students at school constantly looking at their phones! I've started collecting them at the beginning of class because it was getting out of control.

 

I've never understood why cell phones are allowed in the classroom or school to begin with.

[HoneyFernDotOrg]

Rude.

 

I tell my DH and my DD that when I leave and will be spending time with someone else that unless it is an emergency please do not call or text.

 

I also hate it when people check out somewhere, talking on the phone, not acknowledging the clerk. Rude.

 

If anything is sending our society to hell in a handbasket, more than anything it is a lack of basic common courtesy.

[cathmom]

I've never understood why cell phones are allowed in the classroom or school to begin with.

 

Parents want to be able to reach their children, probably. My school only has a rule that they are not supposed to use them in class unless they have permission.

[Janie Grace]

Rude.

[Chris in VA]

I've never understood why cell phones are allowed in the classroom or school to begin with.

 

They aren't, in our schools. You can have it in your backpack, but you can't have it on until after school.

 

One of the reasons I'm reluctant to get dd a phone is that it bugs me to no end to see kids with their noses in their phones texting all.the.time.

 

Even today, I went to a bridal shower and the young adults were texting and sharing fb posts--but they weren't rude about it, as it was during a "break" in the present-opening. Still, it just irritates me.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Rude.

 

I tell my DH and my DD that when I leave and will be spending time with someone else that unless it is an emergency please do not call or text.

 

I also hate it when people check out somewhere, talking on the phone, not acknowledging the clerk. Rude.

 

If anything is sending our society to hell in a handbasket, more than anything it is a lack of basic common courtesy.

 

Dh is always getting irritated because while I take my cell phone somewhere, I don't turn it on. My position is that the cell is for emergencies only - my emergencies!

[Cindyg]

There's an episode of The Office where Andy is acting in a play, and he gets a message as he's ON STAGE. His co-actor makes an attempt to cover for him, but the phone keeps buzzing. Finally, Andy has to take it out of his pocket to deal with it. And he just can't resist checking to see if it's from Erin (who he has a crush on). ON STAGE! The play is basically ruined. It's such a funny moment.

 

It's funny on TV.

 

In real life, it's RUDE!

[NavyWifeandMommy]

I think it is rude but now a days it's more and more common. I don't have a cell phone and have no desire to have one even though it seems 90% of the people I know have one.

[Lisbeth]

It is the new norm. People are multi-tasking a lot, and when they are used to having instant info via smartphone, I think regular one-on-one becomes dull. Via FB, you can get several friend inputs at once, versus one person in real life. Not saying it is right or mannered, but prob just the way things are going.

[Ibbygirl]

One thing I see all the time that mystifies me is when friends are out together, but they are both on the phone to someone else. :confused: I see it all the time when I'm outside. Kids walking home from school together, but talking to someone else all the way home and they don't speak at all to the person that they are with. That is so strange to me. :confused:

[fraidycat]

Dh is always getting irritated because while I take my cell phone somewhere, I don't turn it on. My position is that the cell is for emergencies only - my emergencies!

 

Mine gets irritated because I never remember to take the phone with me. Usually we're out together for shopping or out with the kids at an amusement park, but end up going in different directions. He'll try to call me to find out where I'm at, if I'm ready to go, etc. When we finally meet up he'll mention that I'm not answering my phone. "Yeah, because it's at home and I'm not", is usually the kind of answer he gets. :D It drives him batty! Now, he will make sure to grab my phone on the way out of the house so he can give it to me in the vehicle before we reach our destination.

 

I think it is completely rude to be texting, or talking on the phone, in the company of others.

[littlebug42]

It is rude. I don't even know how to text. I also don't have call waiting. I have always hated that.