Ann.without.an.e Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 Would that miss the "friends" window. Can they still be close? Just thinkin' ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 My mom and her sister are 16 years apart. They are great friends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhonda in TX Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 My sisters are 9 and 12 years older than me. We weren't close until I was an adult, but we are very close now. I lost my older sister this spring and miss her desperately. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AK_Mom4 Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 DS15 and DD10 are nearly 6 years apart. That has never slowed them down being friends. Of course, now that DD10 is reaching the grumpy stage (preteens, sigh), DS15's patience is getting tried more often. I keep reminding him that "this-too-shall-pass". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 my dh has 2 brothers. One is 15 months younger, one is 5 years younger. As kids and teens he and his 2nd brother were closer, but as adults, he is closer to his youngest. They have more similar interests and values. While kids less than 2 yrs apart would have more "fun together" as kids and teens you NEVER know where life will take them as adults. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 I'm best friends with my eldest sister who is 12 years apart. I've known siblings who were 1 year apart who weren't good friends, though they were civil and nice to each other. A lot of it is personality, I think. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2squared Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 I wonder this too. My kids who are 4 years apart do not play one-on-one together. The kids who are less than 4 years apart or more than 4 years apart do play one-on-one. Everyone plays as a group regardless of age. Maybe it's just my particular mix of dc, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kim in Appalachia Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 My oldest is 17, born in April. My second is 13, born in Dec (she'll be 14 soon). They are very close. Which is great, but when my oldest goes away to college next year it's going to be hard. My sister and I are 10 years apart, and we are close too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassy Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 DS10 and DS7 are exactly 3.5 years apart. DS10 has adored DS7 since the day he was born, and DS7 idolises DS10. They have their moments, of course, like all siblings, but 90% of the time they have great fun together, and are the best of friends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janie Grace Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 I have a 3.5 year space between kids #3 and #4. They are friends. Their personalities are really different, so they do clash, but there are definitely things they enjoy doing together -- games, coloring, being silly. They are 8 and 4 (almost 5) right now. I do have to say it was great having a 3.5 year old as the next youngest kid (when I had a baby). MUCH easier than a toddler! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stayseeliz Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 My kids are 2.5, 3.5 and 3.5 years apart. While I prefer the 2.5 year age gap we couldn't get pregnant the third time and the fourth time was a surprise. :) 3.5 years isn't a big gap to me. There is a different element in their play. My 4yo is the "baby" or "child" a lot in their play. She's an orphan, a lonely child, the student, etc. lol But they play together fine. My 7yo and 4yo were just in here doing a fashion show. :) I think a lot of it will depend on the sex of the children too. My 10yo ds does play with his sisters but they play together alone as well. I hope the 3.5 year age gap between the 4yo and 7mo won't be a huge issue. Foster a close relationship, put a focus on family and I think you'll be fine! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Girls' Mom Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 My oldest and the twins are 3.5 years apart. I think they are pretty good friends. They even share some mutual friends. If my twins had been just one, I think they would have been even closer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lara in Colo Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 I think a lot of that depends on you, the parent. My mother did everything in her power to drive a wedge b/t my brother and myself (he is 5 yrs older) Don't make one babysit too much. Don't baby one too much. Nothing in life is fair, but try to be aware of feelings of unfairness. try to find ways to point out how important the other is. Try to point out what they do for another and help them figure out ways to do so. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorCalMom Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 My kids are exactly 3.5 yrs. apart. DD was so excited about the new baby and she was a great "little mommy". They are friends, because they only have each other. They do a lot together and enjoy sharing discoveries and experiences. Little brother gets on dd's nerves every now and then, but they are very protective of each other. Recently, they weren't getting along that great so dh took ds with him on a trip. After one day, both were complaining that they missed the other one. I know that as dd reaches the teenage years things will most likely change, but I'm sure that they will remain close as they enter their adult years. Well, I hope and pray...:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aubrey Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 I prefer them closer together, but 8yo & 4yo are 4yrs apart almost to the day, & the older the little one gets, the more they play. They're the only 2 girls in the family, so that might make a difference, & 8yo is particularly...patient. I guess I wouldn't *aim* for 3.5 years, but I wouldn't worry about it, either. They come when they come. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aubrey Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 I think a lot of that depends on you, the parent. My mother did everything in her power to drive a wedge b/t my brother and myself (he is 5 yrs older) Don't make one babysit too much. Don't baby one too much. Nothing in life is fair, but try to be aware of feelings of unfairness. try to find ways to point out how important the other is. Try to point out what they do for another and help them figure out ways to do so. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 2dd and 1ds are just over 3 1/2 years apart. Because of how alike they are (physically), I used to joke they're my twins. I found out later, 2dd has referred to him as her twin. While when they were really young they didn't play together alot, they are now in their 20's, and get along fabulously. they're very close. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vonfirmath Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 Would that miss the "friends" window. Can they still be close? Just thinkin' ;) I hope so because my kids are 4 years apart! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calm37 Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 Would that miss the "friends" window. Can they still be close? Just thinkin' ;) I do really think it depends more on personality and family dynamic than age. My closest sibling is 17 years younger than me. We did not grow up together, however, but became closer as adults. I am not close at all with my sister that is 18mo. younger. There was definitely a personality clash there, but also, my parents allowed us to fight constantly without intervention. Blessings, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 Bailey and the boys are 3.5 years apart. They all play together well, given gender differences, that the boys are twins, etc. (I mean that in the way that, while the boys seem to embrace hitting people with a stick as a valid activity, Bailey is not always on board... And multiples tend to organize against you which gives them advanced mischief skill.) Generally speaking, though, they are all close and enjoy playing/doing things together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sasharowan Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 My sister and I are 4.5 years apart and are good friends. ds15 and dd are 3.5 years apart. They get along better now than they did a couple of years ago, but they are very far apart personality wise, so I don't know if they will ever be best friends. WE'll see. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathy in Richmond Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 My two kids are about 3.5 years apart, and were always close growing up. Younger sister missed big brother when he went away to college. So, when her time came, she chose a college near where her brother was interning. He then graduated from college and took a job with the internship company, partially because his sister was out there already. Now they live 3000 miles away from us, but only two miles apart from one another, and they hang out together frequently. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
linguistmama Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 In our families age hasn't been the deciding factor. My brother and I are about 2 years apart and are not close because of personality/family dynamic differences. DH is closest to his brother who is 10 years younger. My first 2 are almost exactly 3 years apart and get along extremely well. #2 and #3 will be almost 4 years apart and I don't worry about the age difference. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Dominion Heather Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 Mine play all the time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momof3littles Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 Mine are all 3 years apart (oldest two are just under 3 years apart, and the middle and third are 3y 3 mo apart.). The oldest two play together all of the time. They squabble but they adore one another. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happyhomemaker Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 My first 2 are about 3 yrs apart and are great friends. They also both dote on and enjoy playing with the baby who is 8 yrs younger than my oldest. My mom is 17 months younger than her sister and 12 yrs older than her brother. They are all very close. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jubilation Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 Mine are exactly 3.5 years apart, and they are pretty darn close, now that they are old enough for back-and-forth play. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TravelingChris Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 I have 4.3 and then 3.3 years apart. They all played together at times. As adults and teenagers, they are still close. Oldest and youngest have the most similarities and similar personalities but as middle has gotten over her most troublesome years, they like her too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redsquirrel Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 I didn't know there was such a window. Mine are about 5 years apart and the best of friends. My friend has 4, two are 18 months apart then 4 years later is another and 4 years apart the last. All four of them are very, very close. My niece and nephew are 18 months apart and cannot stand each other. Another friend has two three years apart who fought so much she stopped homeschooling. I don't think it has much to do with their age difference. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest submarines Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 It will depend mostly on personality, not on age. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie Laurie Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 (edited) I think it depends on how their personalities mesh more than anything, and there's no way to know ahead of time how close they'll be. My first two are 6 1/2 years apart. It wasn't exciting for my oldest when his brother was real little, but ever since his brother was around 4, they have found things to do together. They are very close now, at 11 and 17. But they have similar interests- computer programming, anything techy, Yugioh, etc. They spend hours together most days. My 11 year old is only 3 1/2 years older than my 7 year old, and yet they hardly play together alone. They get on each other's nerves. I am hoping that my 7 year old and the baby will be good friends as the baby gets older. I had a brother who was 19 mos younger than me, and we get along now, but we strongly disliked each other for most of our childhoods. However, my dd and my 11 yr old are also 19 mos apart and they get along well most of the time, though she and the 7 yr old are closest. Part of the problem with my brother and I was that we were in school all day, had our own friends, and really had no motivation to find any common ground. All of my kids play together at times, but they usually pair up with the 17 and 11 yr olds together and the 9 and 7 yr old together, but it's due to having similar interests. It's impossible to predict I think. Edited October 31, 2011 by Annie Laurie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 Mine have that spacing. They were great friends from when the younger was four until the elder was thirteen, so about five or six years. Before that, the younger couldn't join in with the elder's games, and after that the elder had moved on to teenage interests. They still love each other. I'm hoping that there will be a second flowering of their relationship when the younger reaches about thirteen. Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 There are no guarantees with spacing children that they will be friends. I have nephews who are 10 years apart and were always very close. They're both grown men now and still best of friends. My dh is best friends with his brother who is 5 years younger, and can barely tolerate his brother 2 years older than himself. My brother and I are 2.25 years apart and we couldn't stand each other as children. We fought like cats and dogs, right down to the biting and scratching, for all of our growing up time together. As adults, we tolerate each other, but have absolutely nothing in common. I love my brother, but if he weren't my brother, I wouldn't bother. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anita in NC Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 My boys are 15, 11 1/2 and 8. They are all good friends, play with each other and share a bedroom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
learningmama Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 While kids less than 2 yrs apart would have more "fun together" as kids and teens you NEVER know where life will take them as adults. :iagree: So true. My dh and his brother are 16 months apart and did much together through their teens, but their lives are totally different now and have only had a semi-congenial/see you at the holidays type of relationship. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 I have a couple of sets that distance...some with one in between and some without. I have never seen age really be a factor of closeness. Some kids are more jealous of a younger sibling...some less...depending on temperament. My kids are very close friends with each other and my older ones make a great effort to spend time with their younger siblings. Faithe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EKS Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 I think that kids spaced farther apart than the typical two years actually do better with regard to sibling rivalry than average. But the real reason you should space them 3.5-4 years apart is that the four year history/science rotation will work out nicely! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 Would that miss the "friends" window. Can they still be close? Just thinkin' ;) My kids are 3 years 9 months apart. They are great friends. I agree quite a bit of this is just kid's personalities. My brother and I are 18 months apart, live less than an hour from each other, but only managed to see each other a couple times last year. I think any spacing can be great or horrible depending on the circumstances and the personalities. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmilyK Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 My boys are exactly that far apart and are very close friends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nd293 Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 I think it's all personality. My kids are 6 years apart. There's time when they really play together, despite the age gap. Other times they're at each other's throats. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
linguistmama Posted November 1, 2011 Share Posted November 1, 2011 But the real reason you should space them 3.5-4 years apart is that the four year history/science rotation will work out nicely! :iagree::lol: That is one of the things that occurred to me when I calculated my due date this time. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenL Posted November 1, 2011 Share Posted November 1, 2011 My boys are 4 years apart, and they truly enjoy being together almost all of the time. I've heard 5+ years makes it harder, but I've also seen that be proven wrong. I think it depends upon the environment at home, imho. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TracyR Posted November 1, 2011 Share Posted November 1, 2011 My 2nd sister and I are 1 yr apart from each other ( Irish twins) and we are extremely close. My 3rd sister and I are 7yrs apart and much less close with each other. Now my two oldest are 22 months apart and are close but yet get on each other's nerves. My 2nd and 3rd are 3yrs apart and get along well My 3r and my 4th are 3.5 yrs apart and are close. So no, you didn't miss a window of time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margo out of lurking Posted November 1, 2011 Share Posted November 1, 2011 Would that miss the "friends" window. Can they still be close? Just thinkin' ;) My dd was almost 4 when my ds was born. They have always been very close, and it continues to this day. They spend a lot of time together and truly enjoy each other's company. It's been a huge blessing to our family. She's loving and protective towards him; he admires her and practically lives to entertain her.:001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ritsumei Posted November 1, 2011 Share Posted November 1, 2011 (edited) Mine are about 3.5 years apart, and while we're at the very beginning of the journey still (Dragon is 15 months), I'd say that there's a developing friendship - and plenty of love already. Two of Monkey's good friends in the area are around 3 years older than him. I am the oldest of 8, and am friends with the siblings that are 16 & 17 years younger than me. It took a little time for them to grow up so we could relate more as peers, but it's happening, and I love it. I guess I'm of the school of thought that age doesn't have to make that much difference in the development of friendships. I certainly don't ask people if they're x-number of years older or younger than me as I'm making friends as an adult, lol! I don't see it making that much difference. I think it's more about shared values, experiences, and interests. Siblings naturally have 2 of those three. Edited November 1, 2011 by Ritsumei Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ritsumei Posted November 1, 2011 Share Posted November 1, 2011 I think that kids spaced farther apart than the typical two years actually do better with regard to sibling rivalry than average. But the real reason you should space them 3.5-4 years apart is that the four year history/science rotation will work out nicely! I've heard the 1st point more than once from parents with kids spaced like that. IIRC, a friend of mine did it relatively deliberately, for that reason. And I must admit that the whole history rotation works out great & that's a relief to me, lol!! We'll see how it goes the next time around...:001_huh::lol::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jilly Posted November 1, 2011 Share Posted November 1, 2011 My niece and nephew are 3.5 years apart, and they are very close. They hang out with each other all the time, and I think it will always be that way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LMD Posted November 1, 2011 Share Posted November 1, 2011 But the real reason you should space them 3.5-4 years apart is that the four year history/science rotation will work out nicely! :lol: I'll admit to thinking about baby-spacing in terms of homeschooling ease... :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheReader Posted November 1, 2011 Share Posted November 1, 2011 My oldest two are three years and a few months apart (9/97 to 12/00) and the middle and youngest are four years and a few months apart (12/00 to 2/05). All three boys are good friends. There's a special bond even between the oldest and the youngest, with 7.5 years between them. If they grow up spending time together, they are likely to be true friends. At least that has been my experience. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momofkhm Posted November 1, 2011 Share Posted November 1, 2011 Brother and I are 3.5 years apart. We didn't play much but was it the age or the gender difference. Middle dd and (youngest) ds are 3.5 years apart. They don't play much but again is it age or gender? Middle dd and ds are closer than oldest dd and ds (6 years apart). But oldest just took ds to a movie for his birthday, sort of. I paid for it but it was her idea and she did take him. They came home all smiles like they actually enjoyed it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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