JumpyTheFrog Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 Did you marry your best friend? I did, but it seems like one of my friends didn't. She and her husband have had a rough time getting along. I don't think they have compatible personalities and habits. She married at 18 and now says that "18 is too young." They'll stay together because of their religious beliefs, but I have little hope of them ever really being happy with their marriage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jillian Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 Yes, we sometimes bicker like grumpy old men but we get along wonderfully 99% of the time. We hve gone through some major rough patches in the 5.5 years we have been married but I wouldn't change anything. I think some people don't really realize what marriage entails. Marriage is HARD work. I got married at 20 and yeah I was young but we knew going in that it wasn't going to be simple or a walk in the park. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgehog Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 I don't think we waited long enough to find out whether we were each other's best friend. If best friend = person who knows most about me, then that would be dh. If it means the person I feel safest and most comfortable with, then no. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nakia Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 We weren't best friends when we got married, but we definitely are now. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigMamaBird Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 Yes I did. We dated for 7 years before we married and I simply enjoyed spending time with him. I'll honestly admit that now there are times when it's much harder to be friends with him. I love him dearly, but married life has its pressures that young dating people just don't have to deal with. But he was and still is my best friend! If we hadn't married he'd still be my buddy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TN Mama Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 We weren't best friends when we got married, but we definitely are now. :D :iagree: This is us exactly. :001_wub: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 (edited) No. Dh and I met and started dating immediately. There was no 'friendship' part of our courtship. I had a best friend at the time. If dh and I would not have dated, we would not have been friends. We are very different from one another, and have very little in common. We can easily come to common ground, but we rarely start on the same side. Edited October 1, 2011 by Tap, tap, tap Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyof4ks Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 Yes, and even though we got married at 19 we are still best friends 13 years later. Has it been easy all the time, no, and we have been through some major stressors over the years, but through that we know that we will always be together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sukale Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 My husband became my neighbor in 8th grade and we were very good friends all through school. Then his house burned down and they moved the yr after we graduated. We lost touch for a couple of years. I just got my own little crappy apt and ran into his sister and told her to give my new phone number to him. He called and came down that weekend. We started dating that first weekend. He asked me to marry him 3 weeks later. We waited about a year then got married. We have been married 13 yrs now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pamela H in Texas Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 Were we best friends at the time? Or did we become best friends? Honestly? Hubby and I did *everything* wrong and had NO business being together. And it worked out beautifully though it took some time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FairyMom Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 (edited) Well, it is young, especially now that I have girls of my own. I called my mom from the University and told her I met the man I was going to marry when I was 18. We married 3 years later after we graduated, and have been married almost 19 years. Having said all that, we did have to find out who we were while we were married. It was hard but very worth it for us. I wouldn't recommend getting married that young if you aren't ready for the work. We've always been old souls, though. ETA: Oops, yes, I married my best friend. :D Edited October 1, 2011 by FairyMom forgot something Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veritaserum Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 We were friends before we started dating. We became best friends while dating. We have had our ups and downs over the years, but we are still best friends. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 Yes. He became my best friend in highschool. We've been married a long time now and he is still my BEST friend. Honestly, he's the only person I trust with everything in my life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Truscifi Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 We were good friends, but I already had a best friend I grew up with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaT Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 We weren't best friends when we married - we only dated 8 months before we married and I was VERY young. After 30 years of marriage and many ups and downs, he is absolutely my best friend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 I guess it depends on the definition. I have best girlfriends and it is just different. But, before DH and I dated we were very close. In fact, we pretty much said, "we either need to marry or not date" because we didn't want to ruin our friendship. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 Best friend? No. Compatible soul? Yes. Almost 19 years of everything and the kitchen sink. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 We weren't best friends when we got married, but we definitely are now. :D :iagree::D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stages Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 I considered him my best friend. He did not. Now (after 6 years together/4 years married) we would consider each other our best friends. We got married at 21/23 and have definitely grown up together. I will say, we are very compatible. I truly think we grew in to people that fit together perfectly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 Yes. Absolutely. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freeindeed Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 Dh & I were friends, but not best friends, before we got married. When we first met, I was actually engaged to someone else.;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eternalknot Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 Best friend? No. Compatible soul? Yes. I really like this. It describes us, too. I've never wanted to be married to my best friend, though. It's honestly not a concept that ever really registered with me until I began hanging out around Christians (especially homeschooling Christians). I'm happy being married to a compatible soul, but we needn't be besties :). It's all about what an individual wants and needs. Some want one person to be their everything; despite some overlap, I have different wants and needs from my spouse and my best friend. One more thing to file under Things That Make the World Go 'Round :D. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happyhomemaker Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 We weren't best friends when we got married, but we definitely are now. :D :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaJo Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 No. We are partners and I respect him immensely but we are not best friend. That isn't really on my radar. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pdalley Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 Gosh, he was my best friend for a long time before I realized how perfect we were for each other. :001_wub: He was sick last night for only the second time in our marriage of 15 years- (Really sick with a high fever - no man cold - I don't count those)- so I'm feeling especially in love with him at the moment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 He may not "get" me as much as I'd like (he's just clueless that way), I have absolute trust and confidence in him that he'd never knowingly hurt me and will always be there for me. I can allow myself to be completely vulnerable and have confidence it is safe. I have complete confidence he absolutely cherishes me because I understand him better than anyone he's ever known, and he knows it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mimm Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 Not really sure how to answer. We weren't friends before we were in a relationship, if that's what you mean. I do consider him my best friend and have for many years. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myfatherslily Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 Yep. Now we're divorced! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GWOB Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 My husband is more than my best friend. He is my sanity keeper. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cindergretta Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 Dh and I married 3 months after we started dating. He wasn't a friend, he was my boyfriend, lol. But he is my very best and dearest friend in the world. We look at our marriage as the coolest sleepover ever! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kile529 Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 I married at 18. Definitely have gone through times where we're indifferent to each other and more like friends/roommates than spouses....but I'm a firm believer in marrying young. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamrachelle Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 My dh and I met when we were young (19) but didn't marry until we had both graduated from college. We are one of those sickeningly rare couples that don't fuss or argue. He is a joy to be around every moment of every day. I married up, without a doubt. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lang Syne Boardie Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 Nope. My best friend asked me to marry him, and I was rather skeeved out by the idea. I had no idea he loved me like that. I couldn't marry him anymore than I would want to marry my brother or my cousin. Actually, that scenario happened to me several times before I figured out that I and my single male friends were at cross-purposes. When I met DH, it was instant pure romance and total infatuation that miraculously turned to true love almost overnight. We were married within weeks of meeting each other. I thought then, as I do now, that he is my other half. He's what was missing from a life that seemed busy and full, and ever since then he's been the other part of "us." I don't think of him as my best friend, although when I stop to examine what 'best friend' means he certainly fits the bill. I guess I just think of him as my husband. We celebrated our 16th anniversary yesterday. :001_wub: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KristinaBreece Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 (edited) I married at 18. Definitely have gone through times where we're indifferent to each other and more like friends/roommates than spouses....but I'm a firm believer in marrying young. Can I ask why? DH & I married young, and spent a LOT of time that way at the beginning. (On occasion, we even go through it now still.) It's led me to be a strong proponent of waiting to marry until you're absolutely ready-- which may be young for some people, but wasn't for me. ETA: Not trying to be argumentative. I just honestly want to see the other perspective on this. Thanks!! Edited October 1, 2011 by KristinaBreece Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 Did you marry your best friend? I did, but it seems like one of my friends didn't. She and her husband have had a rough time getting along. I don't think they have compatible personalities and habits. She married at 18 and now says that "18 is too young." They'll stay together because of their religious beliefs, but I have little hope of them ever really being happy with their marriage. And who is to say the same thing wouldn't have happened if they were 21, or 31? You can marry your best friend and rough times getting along can still happen. Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TammyinTN Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 Yes...I knew my husband for 6 1/2 years before we married. He was 3 years older and we wrote weekly for years while he was in Germany in the Army. I was 19 and he was 22 when we married and we have done very well in marriage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KarenNC Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 (edited) We were very close friends for 3 years before we had our (only official ;)) "date." Shortly thereafter (month and a half) we had a handfasting and lived together for a little over a year while planning our legal wedding. It's been 17 years since the handfasting and still going strong.:) Edited October 1, 2011 by KarenNC Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommymilkies Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 (edited) Yes. Literally. :lol: He was my high school best friend. After I broke up with my ex, he came back into my life and we married 3 years later. Edited October 6, 2011 by mommymilkies Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 No. My best friend at the time was dating some silly nutty chick. (They eventually married and divorced within 2 years.) I wouldn't even say dh is my soul mate. That is a lot of pressure to put on someone. But in a few days we will be celebrating 13 years. We enjoy each other's company when we are together, but we don't find it necessary to be in each other's pockets 24/7. He has his friends and activities and interests. I have mine. Some of these things overlap. Some of them don't. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 No, dh is not my best friend. He is my partner. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lisamarie Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 Where's the other option??? DH and I were good friends all growing up. Same friends, same school, same church, worked at the same fast food place in high school. I started liking him when I was 16. He didn't see the light until I was 20. We started dating when I was 22 and were married 9 months later. But he wasn't my best friend. My best friends were girls. Out of all my guy friends, he was in the top 5 for closest. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KidsHappen Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 No, I married a really hot guy that I had amazing chemistry with after a very short period of time. He turned out to be my best friend, my lover and my soul mate. :001_wub: Unfortunately, I think I may have set a bad precedent for my dds. Some have said to me well it worked for you and dad, while others seem to understand that lightening doesn't strike twice in the same place. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cindergretta Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 No, I married a really hot guy that I had amazing chemistry with after a very short period of time. He turned out to be my best friend, my lover and my soul mate. :001_wub: Wow!! Yes, exactly!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Lulu* Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 We started as acquaintances, then dated briefly. After we broke up we became very good friends, and by the time we started dating again I counted him as one of my small circle of best friends. Is DH my best friend, yes. Is he the one I go to for girlly chit-chat or to beat curriculum choices to death, no. He doesn't exist to meet all my emotional needs; that isn't healthy for any relationship. Still, if I had to pick only one adult person to ever interact with again, it would be DH. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YLVD Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 It's a long story but I'm not currently married but partnered, and living with, my SO of two years. I'm not sure if I want to marry as I'm honestly not a huge fan, I've been there already. But, we will probably do it eventually. We were best friends for 11 years before we started dating. Long story but it is amazing to be involved with your best friend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janie Grace Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 He wasn't my best friend when I married him, but he is now. Communication isn't always as natural is it is with a girlfriend, because he's a man. But I wouldn't have it any other way! And after 15 years of working at it, our communication is pretty darn great. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer3141 Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 DH was my ally first and then it grew into best-friendishness. Although, he is VERY grateful that I have my women best friends too. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heidi Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 I don't know which one to choose. From the moment we first met to the day we were married was 4 WEEKS! I didn't know him really, so I guess the answer is no. We are best friends now & have a wonderful marriage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 absolutely! :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OrganicAnn Posted October 2, 2011 Share Posted October 2, 2011 I always think of a best friend as a girl friend, because when I was young all my best friends were girls. I would say that my DH is my best friend now. (maybe not best friend when we were dating, but was heading that way). I couldn't marry someone that I couldn't be friends with too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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