Caterpiller Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 I know what a horrible question. But seriously, someone asked this in another thread that I read the day before yesterday. When I saw that I started typing out a response and then stopped... I realized I don't have a REAL plan if my DH was to die TOMORROW. I have ideas for if he possibly died in say, 10 years because by then I would hope to have an education and be able to get a job easily (hopefully) but right now today? I got nothing. I would love to know that if something happened to my DH I would have a plan that would not only provide for me and DD but also one that would allow me to homeschool her still. So I present the question to you all. If your husband were to die tomorrow... What would you do to support yourself and your children? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BakersDozen Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 When we were first married we put every extra $ we had in our budget toward life insurance. We did that for about 5 years and are so thankful for it now because dh now has a health condition that prevents him getting additional insurance. As it stands were he to pass away I would be able to stay home indefinitely with my dc and the same if I were to die. In addition to that we have worked hard to be debt free and build our savings as much as possible. I wish we could pay off our mortgage but that isn't going to happen any time soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 Life insurance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginevra Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 Well, I did say that in another thread, though I'm not sure if I'm the poster you're talking about. DH has life insurance so, thankfully, it wouldn't be an immediate crisis, but I know that I would most likely sell our current house. In the current market, it's possible that I would postpone this for a year or two to try and get a better sale, but it would depend on how much help I could expect managing the property. Dh has heavy equipment and things that I don't know how to operate, so I'd rather live somewhere like a townhouse community where that wouldn't be needed. I would also get help from his brothers and friends to sell his equipment and "toys." Depending on how far that got me financially, I would expect to send the kids to public school most likely beginning the next school year. If possible, I would try to work out a work-from-home means so I could continue to homeschool them all up until high school, but it wouldn't be a hill to die on. I am also working on my degree, and would have to see/weigh how long our financial situation could be stable against whether I could finish my schooling to get a better job. That's my general plan, but I admit, it's easier to figure out with older kids than with little baby ones. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meggie Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 I'd probably be up a creek. DH doesn't think we can afford life insurance right now. :glare: I'd have to get rid of as much stuff as possible and go move in with my mom. I'd get a full time job, probably at minimum wage, to offset the costs of us living there. I'd have to do independent college courses from BYU to earn my degree. I've told DH if I die, he's to go move with his parents. They have 40 acres of land and his mom homeschools his siblings. He can go to work with his father. I'm considering getting a part time job in the evenings or working from home so we can afford health and life insurance. We're just one lucky step away from disaster. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4kiddies Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 If god forbid that were to happen my husband has sizable life insurance policies that would allow me to stay home and continue to live our lives as we do currently. I probably would sell my house however, since it is an older home and would buy in a upscale townhouse community nearby so I wouldn't have to worry about upkeep. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myfunnybunch Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 We'd have enough life insurance to be ok for a while. I'd sell the house and buy another, closer to the center of town, with an extra room to house exchange students (something we do now for income). I'd sell everything we didn't need. And I'd try to start an in-home business, probably childcare or tutoring, so that I could work at home and continue to homeschool. If we really needed to, I could go live in my father's rental in another part of the state. Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 I have a plan. Last month we were faced with just such a possibility. His life insurance is lapsed due to un/underemployment, but our expenses are such ds and I could survive with SS benefits. I am also currently applying for a work at home job that would be beneficial if he didn't die, but was disabled or otherwise unable to meet our expenses. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caterpiller Posted August 11, 2011 Author Share Posted August 11, 2011 Quill, I think it wasy ou! LOL Thanks for waking me up. :D We're just one lucky step away from disaster. Thats how I suddenly feel. Dh does have some life insurance from the military, but I honestly have no idea how it works. Does he still have it now that he is not serving? That kind of thing. I am CLUELESS. :confused: My DH is a little freaked out about death so I have yet to ask him about this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renee in NC Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 Life insurance and social security. I would buy a house. I would keep homeschooling for now, with the idea that eventually I would go to work PT after they were all school aged. Honestly, I don't care about the finances as much as I care about life without him. It would be hard to keep going. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan in TN Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 (edited) When we were first married we put every extra $ we had in our budget toward life insurance. We did that for about 5 years and are so thankful for it now because dh now has a health condition that prevents him getting additional insurance. As it stands were he to pass away I would be able to stay home indefinitely with my dc and the same if I were to die. In addition to that we have worked hard to be debt free and build our savings as much as possible. I wish we could pay off our mortgage but that isn't going to happen any time soon. Except for the health issue, this is us. Dh and I both have term life insurance, and dh has additional life insurance through work. Eventually, I would likely find some means of support that I could do at home - making/selling something, tutoring, music lessons, etc. Also, if I could swing it, I'd hire a mother's helper and housekeeper. Edited August 11, 2011 by Susan in TN Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caterpiller Posted August 11, 2011 Author Share Posted August 11, 2011 Honestly, I don't care about the finances as much as I care about life without him. It would be hard to keep going. Yeah I think I would fall to peices and Im not really sure how I'd be able to pull myself together again, but it is something you would have to do for your children. Otherwise you might loose them too. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anita in NC Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 No life insurance here, he doesn't qualify since he is diabetic. I'd have to survive on SS and savings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LidiyaDawn Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 So I present the question to you all. If your husband were to die tomorrow... What would you do to support yourself and your children? I have no idea… I can't even think about such a horrible thing…. :( We'd prolly move in with family or something... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daisy Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 We have life insurance that would cover the children's education. I'd get a job working in my degree field. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nono Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 My husband got laid off in July. He no longer has life insurance. I've been out of the workforce for 6 years, but I have an MBA and 20 years professional and technical experience with certifications (which are lapsing). It would be a huge adjustment, but we'd make it. We have some savings that would tide us over until I found a job (unless he decides to drop dead right after we exhaust our savings due to unemployment). I'd have to sell the house though. Luckily* our seasonal rental home is owned free and clear, so I know where we'd be living. :) My sister's family is just getting by, my Dad is dead and my Mom is in a home with dementia. There's no back-up there, so believe me, I know how "on my own" we are. *Well, good luck or good decision? We could have gotten a much fancier place on a fancier island, but we went with what we could actually afford to own outright, even though many told us to choose "better." Note, my parents grew up during the depression, so those stories were imprinted on my mind while I was growing up. I thank goodness for having "old" parents. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RahRah Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 We have a variety of insurance to cover basic and business needs should something happen to DH. The policies we have that are personal would pay for the house, all other debt, and leave enough that I would have enough for at least 10-years without his social security in our current lifestyle - if I made changes, I could easily make it last 20+ or if I sold the house and downsized, it could last longer than that. Due to an untimely death and small children, at least for now, we'd also have his social security for them - but we planned on the assumption that might disappear years ago, when the SS crisis was making headlines. We also have 401(k)'s and other investment accounts which I would continue manage for the kids and myself until they reach college age and I retirement age. We have additional business policies - one is to maintain payment of salaries and all overhead expenses for his practice for six months should he die. Since all shares of his practice would be mine if he died, I would then have time to sell his practice via the shares, equipment, staff (if they should want to stay on) and good will of the practice. In addition to that, we have another policy which pays any business loans that may still be outstanding - if none remain, I am then beneficiary. All that said, while it looks fine on paper - I really don't care to think about it - I'd be devastated if anything happened to DH! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evergreen State Sue Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 Life insurance and SS would probably last a few years. I would hope the church family would help me a bit if I needed it as I don't have other family to fall back on. Just thinking about this makes me miss my dh and it hasn't even happened! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen in PA Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 Life insurance and social security. This plus me doing more tutoring would be our plan. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ClassicMom Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 I don't know and I need to start thinking about it. :confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T'smom Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 Life insurance would cover everything we'd absolutely need. At least for several years. However, I'd move in with my parents- it's not the financial support that I'd need, but I'd need a lot of emotional support to pull it together enough for the kids. I would look for a job close to my parents' house. I would try to move out of their house in a not-too-ridiculous amount of time, but I'd still want to be close to them. (I already have a degree.....but I might get a different one!). I probably would not continue to homeschool- but I would definitely after-school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caterpiller Posted August 11, 2011 Author Share Posted August 11, 2011 I don't know and I need to start thinking about it. :confused: Welcome to the club. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
butterflymommy Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 Financially I would be ok as long as I didn't do anything stupid. We have life insurance & a rental property (we were unable to sell our last house so we decided to become landlords), also our current house is technically a two family so I could rent out the downstairs apartment. Depending on how many of my own bio-kids were still living at home, I would take in foster kids or possibly even convert to a group home situation. I wouldn't be doing this only for the money, it's something I've always dreamed of doing, and I think I'd be decent at it. But emotionally/ psychologically I would be a mess. I am dependent on my husband in so many ways other than financial, and losing him would be utterly crushing both to me and the kids... I can't even contemplate the emotional toll quite frankly. I often tell him to take better care of himself because he has so many souls who depend on him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eewaggie99 Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 Dh dwells on it a lot since men in his family tend to die young. We've prepped ourselves financially, but I hate talking about it. I'm more of the mindset that whatever may come, I will handle it for my children's sake. It would involve moving cross country closer to family and possibly getting a job, but I wouldn't return to my 60+ hours per week position before DC2 was born. At worst, I would work full time. That being said, I would be devastated to lose my dh. He is my soul mate and I would struggle to live without him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veritaserum Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 Dh has a large life insurance policy, so I would not be forced to work immediately. I would probably resume my part-time business to generate enough income to cover most of our monthly expenses. I'd use the life insurance to cover the difference and to pay for medical insurance. I'd continue to homeschool because my business is an evenings and weekends kind of service. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DianeW88 Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 We have a very healthy amount of life insurance on my dh, so my lifestyle would not change at all. I would pay off our home, continue to stay at home and be able to homeschool our kids. He has one large policy through work and a separate one through another company in case he had to stop working for whatever reason. We also have a disability policy on him. I honestly think you NEED life insurance. If you think you can't afford the premiums, think about how well you could live without your dh's income. Not to mention, a funeral alone will set you back $15,000 (and that is on the conservative side). You can purchase a term policy for a very reasonable amount of money these days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Girls' Mom Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 Life insurance here too. On both of us. His policy would allow me to stay home with the kids until they were grown...possibly longer if I were careful. After that, I would get a job. We are debt free...not even a mortgage, so that wouldn't be an issue. My policy would allow him to have some help with the kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom22ns Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 We have enough Life Insurance on DH that I could finish homeschooling the kids and pay for their college before I had to go back to work. I have a degree, but I would probably go back to school and update my qualifications (maybe a masters) before re-entering the job market. We feel that being able to finish homeschooling is critical, so we have made it a financial priority in all circumstances. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 We are fortunate enough to have life insurance and investments. I would be able to homeschool and, at that point I would probably go back to school so that I didn't have to touch the insurance $ too much. My policy is triple his because he would have to hire someone to school them, clean the house and do domestic chores. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 dh and I are both worth more dead than alive :D We both have substantial life insurance policies. Even though I only earn a piddling amount, dh would need to replace HIS earnings to stay home with the kids, not mine. Plus, I like to think that dh would be too upset at my death to go right back to work after the funeral anyway. Both of us would be able to choose staying home with the kids until they are 18 (they are older, 11 & 13). I think that both life insurance and long-term disability should be in the budget if AT ALL possible, with possible meaning hardcore frugality or the stay at home parent getting a part-time job on evenings or Saturdays. You must think about this stuff. Unpleasant, sure, but better to think about it now than when you are grieving. Don't be forced into making radical or unpleasant decisions if you don't have to. It's awful when someone loses a spouse, and then has to turn around and start packing up to move the kids away from the only home they've ever known. If you are relying on SS or a pension, do you know how much that would be? I'll be even more cheerful: what if you both die at the same time? Who will take the kids? Do they know they're getting the kids, lol? It needs to be in writing at a minimum, and preferably written up by a lawyer. If there is more than one obvious choice, or your choice is not a relative, it is crucial to have a lawyer do it. Having insurance makes it more likely that your selected guardian can stay home with your kids, possibly even home school them. Even if they stay home now, don't assume they can afford to do so when extra kids are added into the mix: in addition to increased general expenses, they may have to buy a bigger car or a bigger house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TravelingChris Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 Life insurance, either retirement pay (reduced) or survivor's benefits (not quite clear which, social security, and with all of that, we would be fine financially. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slartibartfast Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 We have life insurance for everyone in the family. After my niece passed BIL and SIL really worried about funeral costs. After that we decided to get life insurance for the kids as well. Dh's life insurance would not last forever but it would get me through until I could do what I needed to do to get a decent paying job. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 We currently have enough life insurance to cover the house and living expenses for 10 years or so. However, I would be fine with going back to work and the kids going to school too. Dawn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginevra Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 Quill, I think it wasy ou! LOL Thanks for waking me up. :D Thats how I suddenly feel. Dh does have some life insurance from the military, but I honestly have no idea how it works. Does he still have it now that he is not serving? That kind of thing. I am CLUELESS. :confused: My DH is a little freaked out about death so I have yet to ask him about this. You're welcome. Wake up calls - just one of the many services I provide! :D I would look into the life insurance. I don't know how it works if it's through the military. My dh's is through an independent company. If I were you, I would just bring it up, "Honey, someone made a remark about life insurance and it made me wonder: do you still have yours from the military? How does that work?" If he doesn't know, I would find out and sign up for some/some more with an independent company if necessary. We are fortunate enough to have life insurance and investments. I would be able to homeschool and, at that point I would probably go back to school so that I didn't have to touch the insurance $ too much. My policy is triple his because he would have to hire someone to school them, clean the house and do domestic chores. :iagree: There is insurance on me, too, for this reason. Also, because my dh and his brother are business partners, they also have Key Man insurance on each other so if BIL dies, dh could buy his family out of the business and vice versa. So, I would also have that money, but no further income from the business. You must think about this stuff. Unpleasant, sure, but better to think about it now than when you are grieving. Don't be forced into making radical or unpleasant decisions if you don't have to. It's awful when someone loses a spouse, and then has to turn around and start packing up to move the kids away from the only home they've ever known. If you are relying on SS or a pension, do you know how much that would be? :iagree: with katilac! It's not pleasant, but prepared is better than unprepared. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lolly Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 We have enough life insurance to cover me continuing as is at least until the kids are in college. Most likely, I would choose to go to work at that point if for no other reason than to have something to do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 We took out life insurance with this exact scenario in mind. I would still be able to stay home and school the girls. I do believe, however, I'd have to sell our home. It's very large and very expensive to run. Dh cuts down all our firewood off our acreage, and he's responsible for plowing around our house with a LONG driveway, down by the barn, and for about 1/4 a mile of the road. While I could do it with a truck, maintaining a home this large myself is probably going to be out of the question. I have well laid out plans. I think we need to prepare for this. Especially with dh's driving.:glare: His life likely wouldn't change but he'd probably have to put the girls in school (there's a chance he wouldn't have to) and he may have to disrupt our adoption because I don't think he'd be able to raise our adopted RAD dd without my support. There IS a chance he could work from home even more than the 2 days per week he does now, so perhaps our remaining family could be intact, and he could have someone supervise dd's with online schooling (I'd HATE for him to have that responsibility alone!) if he had to go to the office. This all gets easier to think about as the kids age. My oldest is now 19. I used to have many fearful thoughts about this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wabi Sabi Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 I would be okay. We planned for insurance life insurance that when combined with social security that I'd be able to live a reasonably modest lifestyle without too much trouble. It helps that we live in an area with a low cost of living. If I was frugal I could afford to stay home at least until the kids are ready to go off to college, but I'd eventually have to return to work (FWIW, I work full-time now but if something happened to DH I'd probably quit for at few years.) I'm considering getting a part time job in the evenings or working from home so we can afford health and life insurance. We're just one lucky step away from disaster. I do work full-time right now and about 70% of my income goes to insurance (life, health, dental.) Even though we can't afford it we also can't afford to go *without* it. So, I suck it up and work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
homeschoolmom Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 What I'm doing. We could live on one of our salaries if we needed to and have when DH was out of work for 15 months. I was so glad we decided to improve the house we had and not "trade up." We're both insured as well so that would provide security. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 We also have life insurance that would keep us going at least until the kids are grown. I would probably move into a less expensive house and get some kind of job as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1bassoon Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 This has actually come up at my house. . . .not b/c of any medical condition, but b/c of unemployment. Financially, we'd be much better. I could pay off the house, and live off life insurance. The homeschool classes I teach would pay my living expenses. I'd keep homeschooling the kids. . . . . . Emotionally and spiritually - well - that's another matter. It would be - unthinkable. But you're right - these are things that need to be thought through. A friend of ours - homeschooling dad -suddenly lost his wife last spring. They have 5 kids, the youngest 4 still being homeschooled. To say it's been tough is an understatement. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pretty in Pink Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 Dh and I both have sizable policies. We have enough on him to last me several years, plenty long enough to get all of the children to school age and finish up my own degree so that I could go to work. We have enough on me to cover private after-school care for the children for several years. We would be fine, financially speaking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 So I present the question to you all. If your husband were to die tomorrow... What would you do to support yourself and your children? We are fortunate to have good life insurance plans and his 401K/investment account. We also have a good friend who is an economist and he knows that in the event of DH's death, he will have to help me walk through all the legal stuff and dealing with the Human Resources Dept. at DH's job. I do not expect to have to work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WIS0320 Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 We have ample life insurance that I would not have to work until my children were through high school. I would move back to my hometown where I have a lot of family, buy a small and affordable house with cash and then try and get through as best I could. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 We have a huge insurance policy. It would give me time to figure things out. We have life insurance on me too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stripe Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 My husband would rise from the dead and take me with him if I spent $15,000 on his funeral. Seriously. I would be in the "moving in with relatives" camp. They might suffer more than me -- I could use more bodies to chase my kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meriwether Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 I would pay off my house with the insurance money, list it for sale and move in with my parents. Which would be a tight squeeze since my sister's family (7 people) are living with my parents right now. I would get a job working nights so that I could spend as much time with the kids as possible. Once the house sold, I'd put money back for emergencies and college for the kids. If I was living with my parents, I could provide the necessities with a minimum wage job. If this were to happen, my sister and her family would probably move out so that my family would have more space. They are just living with my parents until the decide whether they want to buy land and build, buy a house, or just buy a lot and build a house. They aren't in finacial hardship. (Although, they may add onto Mom and Dad's house and live there long term just because it is nice for everyone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LisaKinVA Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 We have enough to pay off the house, set up accounts for the children, and life modestly, without worry, or my having to get a job. Most likely, my parents would move in with me, too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 Life insurance. I would buy a small house and live modestly while working as long as I could. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pink Fairy Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 We have life insurance for both of us, hopefully enough to get us through the next 15 years before my youngest finishes school. Oh, the heartbreak and devastation though--there's no insurance for that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cricket Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 We manage an RV park that provides a house as well as a small income. Right now only I am considered an employee and is the one who gets paid since my dh was working another job when we took this job. One of the considerations of taking this job was that I would have some stability if something did happen to dh. (He's 12 years older than I am so we've had this conversation.) I've been thinking off and on that both of us should have a life insurance policy. I had a friend with five children whose dh died unexpectedly at age 42. Not a fun topic but definitely worth thinking about. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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