texasmama Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 (edited) Overall, are you happy? If so, why? If not, why not? Just curious how many people are happy versus how many people are "going through the motions". Define "happy" however you like.:001_smile: Edited May 20, 2011 by texasmama trying to add a poll... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PiCO Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 Overall, are you happy? If so, why? If not, why not? Just curious how many people are happy versus how many people are "going through the motions". Define "happy" however you like.:001_smile: I'm happy because I choose to be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lmkzbcb Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 I think you ought to poll this one. You might get more responses. Personally, I would like to know the ages of people who respond too. Does one become more or less happy as they age?? I dont know what I am. I go back and forth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 I'm happy. I wish my back was a few decades younger, and I wish my job was more secure, but other than that, I am very, very happy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sputterduck Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 I so am! I'm am happier than I've ever been in my life! I finally did what I was supposed to do years ago i.e. go into the missionary field. God was right and I was wrong to hesitate. Oi. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted May 20, 2011 Author Share Posted May 20, 2011 Don't know how to add a poll after the topic is posted...but I am open to advice.:001_smile: Also, I hesitated to poll it because I felt that many people would be "other". This is such a gray area question to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4ofus Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 In a telephone conversation with dh yesterday (he travels for work) I responded to something he said with "well, I guess I sometimes forget that people & businesses would make such choices. My own world is so very Pollyanna & I just...lose sight." I was a little embarrassed. He was quiet a moment, then spoke "you feel your world is pollyanna?" & I realized he was so so very proud of himself right then. Yes, I guess I do. I would say happy. Even if I don't realize it every minute of every day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacia Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 Yes! :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsBasil Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 Yes. I don't have a reason why though. I just am. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sue G in PA Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 Happiness is so fleeting. Generally speaking, I am what most people would call happy. I call it joy. I have joy because I have Jesus and I have hope. On the days I feel "down" I have to remind myself that this is all temporary. There are some days I feel downright ecstatic! Others where I feel totally opposite. If I went by "feelings" I'd be a mess, LOL! I guess as a pp said...I have to choose to be happy in spite of circumstances. Lately, I've been feeling less than "happy" with my life...wondering if that is b/c I'm not where God wants me and if so, where does He want me? I am blessed so there really isn't any reason not to be happy. I'm rambling. It's late. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 Yes, I have hope. Things are looking up for us and a great burden is lifted. We are moving which was not in our plans, but oh well... I feel healthy, dh is healthy as far as we know and ds is doing fine. I think I am more consciously joyful as I get older because life (no matter what it is) is short. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 Yes, I'm happy. I have a great family, enough money, nice place to live. I'm basically an optimistic person and I believe that I can cope with what comes along. Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eternalknot Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 I'm early 30s. I'm happy - I feel loved and supported by those who matter most to me. I have a job outside the home, and a steady income with a flexible load and schedule. I enjoy a balanced life, dedicating time and resources to myself in addition to being a (single) homeschool parent. I accept my imperfections and embrace my quirks, which frees up brain power and emotions to enjoy life and see the merit/lesson in everything (even setbacks). I am fed, clothed, and sheltered. I'm quite happy with my life, as challenging as it can be and as imperfect as it appears to outsiders. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plucky Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 I am happy. As long as my family is healthy and happy, we have food on the table and a roof over our heads I will always be happy. I have times when I am in a funk or things aren't going my way. I take a break or count my blessings and realize it's all okay. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
specialmama Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 Yes, I'm happy. Like a previous op, I wish my health issues were...well, not issues. :tongue_smilie: I consider happiness to be a choice, and largely influenced by outside circumstances. What I treasure most is JOY which is unwavering and not dependant upon circumstances. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Lulu* Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 Happiness is overrated; I am content. I have moments of great frustration, and occasionally fantasize about life with a live in maid or a return to my physic when I was 20, but I also have moments of tremendous joy and the realization that I am living with my children in a sweet precious moment that will all too soon be gone. I've reached a place in my life where I am at peace with who I am, surrounded by a wonderful family, and blessed to live in a place with freedom and prosperity that much of the world cannot even fathom. I am content to be who I am, where I am, with what I have. In my book that trumps happiness every time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 Generally not, but I'm not well suited to the baby and toddler years. I expect to be just dandy once ds is preschool age and sleep deprivation is an occasional occurrence instead of the general routine. When most days are the sorts of days where I can get school, a bit of housework and a bit of study done, and am still properly awake when dh gets home, life will be quite nice. Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 Hmm. As far as a general contentment with my life? Then I'm happy. But are many of the circumstances of my life happy ones? Not always. I've learned to live with them. I do, however, struggle with frustration with many things in my life. Can you be frustrated and content at the same time? I'm a study in contradictions.:tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lmkzbcb Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 Happiness is overrated; I am content. I have moments of great frustration, and occasionally fantasize about life with a live in maid or a return to my physic when I was 20, but I also have moments of tremendous joy and the realization that I am living with my children in a sweet precious moment that will all too soon be gone. I've reached a place in my life where I am at peace with who I am, surrounded by a wonderful family, and blessed to live in a place with freedom and prosperity that much of the world cannot even fathom. I am content to be who I am, where I am, with what I have. In my book that trumps happiness every time. :bigear: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 (edited) "I'm on the top of the world".....ummm not. In the past 12mths..... I found out that my back issue is permanent and is not operable. My employer cut my position's hours by 20% and that translates into more work, less time to do it. My job is a bad place to be, and no one wants to work for my company due to it. I am working full time to put some money in the bank, and that translates in to my 'mom' job suffering. My new boss, has a horrible reputation as a tyrant with ADD. She is proving this to be true in her first month. My son was accused of a felony that he didn't commit, and while he was found innocent, it will be on his record for the rest of his life and can affect his chance at acceptance in college/jobs in the future. I have to look at the neighbors who accused him, every day as I drive into the neighborhood. There are many days when driving home is the most stressful 3 minutes of my day, due to my brain replaying events over and over. My husband is losing his job of 10 years. Due to this, we can't sell our house, and I have to keep looking at my neighbors....and my brain keeps replaying events...... I had to put my (then) 3yo on major psych meds. The past 12 months have been the worst consecutive months of my life. Edited May 20, 2011 by Tap, tap, tap Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sparkle Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 Yes and no. Depends on which day you ask me ;) I would say, overall, yes. A lot of it is me conscientiously trying to be happy and grateful in my circumstances. I have physical and mental health issues that can be difficult at times. I struggle sometimes with my relationship with dh, although I would say it is mostly good. I'm very happy in my faith, and that strengthens me a lot for the day-to-day stuff. I try to be a happy and optimistic person because I really dislike whining and complaining, and I usually succeed, it's just not always easy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb_ Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 The older I get, the happier I am. My 40's are way better than my 30's were and my 20's were the pits. That wasn't something I was expecting. Barb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CanaryMelody Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 Yes and no. I do feel blessed that I have 4 wonderful children, a roof over my head, food on my plate, and 2 working vehicles. But I'm struggling with a lot of contentment issues right now: - our rental was foreclosed and we have until July 25th to be out. We've been looking for over 2 years for a new home. I'm starting to stress out. - it seems all of my adult life I have struggled.... struggled for that roof to stay over my head, struggled for food, struggled just to make it to the next payday, struggled for things that just seems to come so easy for others (like friendships, a church home, and punctuality). - I have dreamed of owning my own home forever... and as I head deeper into my 40's... well, it seems the dream becomes more fleeting. Honestly, it seems the older I get, the harder life has gotten for me. :confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meggie Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 I am trying so hard. I've seen so many people on this forums say they wish they could go back to when their kids were little and enjoy that time more. So I'm trying, I really am. But I do struggle with depression issues and about every third or fourth day I have a melt down and get so overwhelmed and think I can't do it anymore and think I need to leave my family so my husband could marry someone who would be a better wife and mother than I am. And then the next day, I'm better. Still struggling with crazy kids, but it just doesn't seem so overwhelming. In general, I've been more grateful for what we've got. Compared to much of the world, we are so blessed. Our little apartment is 850 square feet, small to most people's standards, but how many people in impoverished countries don't even have that? How many people in the world are starving and I'm not? It seems silly, but I've learned to be sincerely grateful for the basic things: roof over our heads, clothes on our back, food in our bellies, and our health. Whining about other things seems silly to me when I realize how lucky I am. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 I agree, this is a gray area. I'm not 100% happy because I don't like the medical conditions I feel plagued with. They intervere with things I would like to do. But I would say I'm overall happy because I really do have a good life. I'm not sure I would say I'm happier in my 40s as I was when I was younger. I am in different circumstances. My living arrangements are nicer now than when I was in my early 20s, but I was perfectly happy in my small apartment with a futon sofa and milk crates and boards for some furniture. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 “Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know.†~Ernest Hemingway But then we all know Hemingway had issues. :tongue_smilie: Yes, in general I am happy. I have no reason not to be.I have so many amazing blessings in my earthly life and a heavenly future to look forward to. But I am also moody and brooding by nature which could be mistaken for being unhappy. But really, I just think too much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb_ Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 But I am also moody and brooding by nature which could be mistaken for being unhappy. But really, I just think too much. Yes, I'm completely contented, fulfilled, and secure. Just not cheerful much of the time. There is just too much work to do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twilight Woods Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 If I could learn to "forgive & forget" I would be MUCH happier. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EthiopianFood Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 I can barely get out of bed in the morning, to the point where I stay up late (my only alone time where my life can be my own), just to avoid having to face another day. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peela Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 (edited) Happier as I age. Yes, happy, with some difficult days, but I find it easier to manage them as I get older. I learn to surf the waves more rather than getting dumped. I pull out of a tail spin more quickly. My life is fairly simple and uncomplicated nowadays. I have a good roof over my head, good food, good friends, good family, no major crises, and plenty of things that interest me. We have occasional money problems, but who doesn't, and in the great scheme of things ours aren't bad. I think I am fairly cheerful a lot of the time, too, but not always. I guess I don't see happiness as a "happy happy happy" sort of attitude- just more a general contentment with how things are, and I guess an absence of ongoing depression or major grief, etc It doesnt mean I am never sad or unhappy, but I am not stuck there. The emotions flow and ebb and cycle, and underlying that is a general happiness. Edited May 20, 2011 by Peela Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halftime Hope Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 "I'm on the top of the world".....ummm not. In the past 12mths..... I found out that my back issue is permanent and is not operable. My employer cut my position's hours by 20% and that translates into more work, less time to do it. My job is a bad place to be, and no one wants to work for my company due to it. I am working full time to put some money in the bank, and that translates in to my 'mom' job suffering. My new boss, has a horrible reputation as a tyrant with ADD. She is proving this to be true in her first month. My son was accused of a felony that he didn't commit, and while he was found innocent, it will be on his record for the rest of his life and can affect his chance at acceptance in college/jobs in the future. I have to look at the neighbors who accused him, every day as I drive into the neighborhood. There are many days when driving home is the most stressful 3 minutes of my day, due to my brain replaying events over and over. My husband is losing his job of 10 years. Due to this, we can't sell our house, and I have to keep looking at my neighbors....and my brain keeps replaying events...... I had to put my (then) 3yo on major psych meds. The past 12 months have been the worst consecutive months of my life. Oh Tap, I'm so sorry! You have had a rotten year. I'll pray that something (many things) will give and things will start to lookup for you and yours. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenangelcat Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 I'm so happy that I now have a niggling paranoia that something bad is going to happen to ruin it all. Last year my husband quit his job and we sold our house to move across Canada to start a small farm. We're working towards a self-sufficient lifestyle. I had dreamed about for years but dh was never on board. Our income has been cut in half, we live rurally, have to get up early to milk our goats and feed the rest of the animals and we are the happiest we've ever been. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halftime Hope Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 (edited) This is a tough one to answer. There are some pretty miserable "people" circumstances that I have to live with. Many days I look at myself in the mirror and remind myself that the stresses that I live with are not of my making or doing, and I try to breathe deep and not to internalize or blame myself and let it affect my self-worth. I am a great mom and a good wife, a kind and thoughtful relative, and a loyal friend. When other people around me behave badly because they are not coping well with difficulties in their lives, that is not a reflection on me. I'm trying to learn to be joyful and "rise above." The thought of "how do I want my children to remember me" is a great motivator! But the thought of pinching someone's head off (my Okie grandmother's line) has its appeal at times. :glare: LOL Edited May 20, 2011 by Valerie(TX) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nono Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 Put me in the happy column. Do I have a perfect marriage? NO! Do I have an easy life? NO! Am I happy with my behavior all the time? NO! But, I've been given/have acquired more than enough skills to get through life, and that makes me feel content, happy, etc. In fact, we're having an awful spate of luck of it lately (I call it the anti-Midas touch), but in a way that makes me feel optimistic. At some point, the tide will have to turn for us. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 I'm happy with many aspects of my life. There are other areas that I'm not happy with, but I can live with some and try to improve others. I've been a basically optimistic and cheerful person my whole life, so I don't know if I get happier as I get older, but I'm definitely more self confident and content as I get older. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FeFe Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 This is really tough to answer. I'll start by saying that I am so very, very grateful for the life I have and those that are in it. "Going through the motions" really caught me and I think that's exactly how I feel. I think the two reasons that I'm a bit unhappy are: 1. I graduated high school and got pregnant 10 months later and married 2 years later. No college or anything. Never wanted to go. Never applied myself in school and generally didn't have direction or confidence in myself. I've been at home for over 11 years and I just feel like I never got around to really getting my feet, you know? I don't know who I am or what I am capable of accomplishing. With each passing day I realize my children are growing all too fast and will leave home. What in the world am I going to do? 2. I feel like I put way to much focus on what others think of me. I wish that I could just relax. After writing that out I'm thinking my hyper-focus on what others think is what really squashes my confidence. It's a vicious cycle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heidi Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 (edited) I am EXTREMELY happy with my life. I have a great husband who treats me good and is my best friend, is a wonderful father and provider, and he's HOT (see avatar). I have four healthy, beautiful children, soon to be five, that bring me so much joy (most days). I have the priviledge of being a mother (what I've always wanted to be) and homeschooling just magnifies that calling. However I don't know that I could find as much satisfaction in my family and life if it were not for the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. I know who I am and why I'm here. I'm led by Prophets of God so I can prepare both temporally and spiritually for the days ahead. I have the Book of Mormon, which clarifies the Bibles and the gospel of Jesus Christ, so I can fully feast on the scriptures and fully understand His gospel, and truly grow in knowledge and truth. I have the privilege of having the Holy Ghost as my constant guide and comforter. I partake in sacred ordinances that have sealed my little family together forever, past death and into eternity. I am able to enter God's holy house (temples) and feel literally in His presence in the middle of this crazy world and life, and gain peace, hope, and perspective. I am filled by it all; the gospel is rich and moves me to become a better person. It brings me a constant peace and it all brings me so. much. JOY. Edited May 20, 2011 by hmsmith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2denj Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 I am happy. As long as my family is healthy and happy, we have food on the table and a roof over our heads I will always be happy. I have times when I am in a funk or things aren't going my way. I take a break or count my blessings and realize it's all okay. :iagree:This would be my answer!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iquilt Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 Yes I am. Life is not perfect but I am happy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom4him Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 I am happy not only because I choose to be but also because I have made some deliberate choices in my life. I chose to close down a very successful business so I could spend my time caring for children that I love. I have chosen to adopt two children when I was in my 50's. I chose to home school my two not only because I believe it is the best choice for them but also for me. There are some things we don't have much choice over but there are way more than we recognize. We do have to make the conscious choice though and then live with that choice. Just for the record, I am 62 1/2 now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 I'm very happy with my life. I wish our finances were as they were back when the economy was better, but I'm still happy. I love my hubby. I love my boys. They love me back. We live in a semi-rural area that I really like. I enjoy my job (most days). I'm content in my faith and relationship with God. While not being concerned with bills would be nice, it doesn't shift all the above to move me into the unhappy realm. I do miss not traveling more, but again, it's not enough to shift my overall feelings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Girls' Mom Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 Overall, yes I am VERY happy with my life. I have a husband that loves me and our family and works to provide for us. We have a home, our kids are healthy. We are following what we feel is God's will for us. I couldn't ask for more. I do have moments of being down, but they are far between and usually have nothing to do with my actual circumstances. It was a tough road to get here though. Four or so years ago, I was an extremely UNhappy person. It took some life changing events for me to realize that what I had was pretty good. The most important event was accepting Christ. My life hasn't been the same since. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 For the most part I'm content. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 I was happy on May 5 and on May 6 until 3:30 pm. I think I'd describe that as a kind of quiet joy. I couldn't get the song, San Francisco (Be Sure to Wear Some Flowers in Your Hair) out of my head, and that was okay because I like that song. There was no reason for it at all, except that I was recovering from successful surgery and no one could expect anything of me because the list of what I couldn't do was quite long. I didn't feel Responsible for everything because I was down for the count. Then we jumped immediately onto the next serious bad thing to happen to a family member since February, and I have had moments of despair since then. I wouldn't say I am happy, but I am a resilient person and I have a pretty good sense of humor. There have been good things, obvious silver linings, to everything that has happened to us this year, except for our dog dying too young of cancer. I adore Aidan and he's brought a lot of laughter to our family, but he isn't a silver lining. I joke that our next vehicle will be an ambulance ... a good thing in a place where it takes an ambulance 20-30 minutes to get here, longer if their GPS breaks and they get lost (which happened on May 5). Not to worry, though, because another ambulance company's paramedic immediately responded in his own vehicle and stayed with me in the ambulance all the way to the hospital. There are many good people here like that. I have a lot to be thankful for, and I try to keep that in mind. I also have hope that for the rest of the year, nothing else bad will happen. Right now, I sometimes feel like one of those bop bag clown toys that kids hit and then it bounces back up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 Generally not, but I'm not well suited to the baby and toddler years. I expect to be just dandy once ds is preschool age and sleep deprivation is an occasional occurrence instead of the general routine. When most days are the sorts of days where I can get school, a bit of housework and a bit of study done, and am still properly awake when dh gets home, life will be quite nice. Rosie I'm not a baby person either. I love that my son is older, than he can take care of himself for five minutes. 13 has been awesome for the most part, so, yes, the best is yet to come. "I'm on the top of the world".....ummm not. The past 12 months have been the worst consecutive months of my life. :grouphug::grouphug: I've been thinking of you, hoping you had already moved. I'm sorry. I wish you good news soon. Am I happy? Sometimes. I'm mid 40s and my contentment seems to get less and less each year. I'm tired of feeling stressed all the time. I can find my own peace, but when I re enter my life, the stress comes back. Dh has been un/underemployed for over a year. Things are starting to get back to normal, but it will be another year before everything gets untangled. Anyway, that's the new stresses. We're finally in a house that we both love and so I feel more secure that I have for while. Happiness is fleeting and tied to so much more than simply my attitude. Attitude can make a difference, but I think I've been more happy since I've discovered my inner pessimist. :tongue_smilie: I don't feel so disappointed if things don't work out. I don't feel fake. I try to find joy in everyday. Last night my ds and I were sitting on the couch. He put his feet in my lap and I rubbed his legs (his very hairy legs). It was a bonding moment because it reminded me of all the time when he was little that he would sit that way. It was a moment of joy. Will I look back and be content with my course of my life? That remains to be seen, I still have a few goals up my sleeve. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted May 20, 2011 Author Share Posted May 20, 2011 Thank you all for sharing. I read every reply and smilled, teared up, learned something and/or said a little prayer as I read. For me...my internal "life" has always been very complex. A friend calls it "morbidly intense". I tend to overthink, which leads to brooding. I am prone to anxiety, which is a phenomenon of developed nations. People in third world counties don't have anxiety disorders.;) Some days, I consider myself very blessed - and I clearly am compared to many (though it is not a good practice to compare). Other days, it seems that life has dogpiled me. The last time I was truly "happy", meaning that my heart was not heavy for one reason or another, was the summer of 2002, when I was pregnant with my 8 year old. Life was gloriously good. My mother was living and healthy, my husband was well-employed, and I was blissfully unaware of what was coming in many areas. Besides my mother, the blissful unawareness is what I miss the most. I have learned to find quiet joy amidst the circumstances since then, but my heart remains heavy at the core. I have begun to accept that the heaviness comes with the "second half of my life". (I am 44, by the way.) I'm far too angsty to ever be fully content, but I am able to find moments of contentment and gratitude. My faith alternately sustains me and causes me more angst. However, I am funny (better laugh than cry, ya know;)), I have many opportunities professionally, I have a husband who loves me, and my kids are really amazing, even the one who breaks my heart. I am loved. :grouphug: to those in a dark place. I will carry you in my heart.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mejane Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 Carol, you pretty much described me perfectly. I would say that more than happy, I am grateful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 For me...my internal "life" has always been very complex. A friend calls it "morbidly intense". I tend to overthink, which leads to brooding. I am prone to anxiety, which is a phenomenon of developed nations. People in third world counties don't have anxiety disorders.;) I have learned to find quiet joy amidst the circumstances since then, but my heart remains heavy at the core. I have begun to accept that the heaviness comes with the "second half of my life". (I am 44, by the way.) I'm far too angsty to ever be fully content, but I am able to find moments of contentment and gratitude. My faith alternately sustains me and causes me more angst. :grouphug: to those in a dark place. I will carry you in my heart.:grouphug: :grouphug: Hugs back to you. I brood a lot, dh doesn't get it. He is blissfully unaware that some of his "unawareness" is what makes me brood. I'm sure I do the same to him, just in different areas. I wonder about 44, seriously. At 41-42 I was more content, even though our life was still a struggle. I was glad to be over 40, glad to be old enough to speak my mind. At 43 I got opinionated. Maybe some of that is this board, but IRL I am seldom confrontational, but I spoke up more. At 44 I feel frazzled. I don't know if it's the age or the circumstances. I'm concerned I might end up that eccentric old woman that lives on the corner. I'm concerned that I might not care. I'm concerned that my quirkiness might spin me right off the edge on some days. I'm concerned that I might find myself on a deserted island without a good pair of tweezers. But next month is a writing contest. I've done it for the last three years, but forgot about it coming up so soon. A friend reminded me this morning. Writing is cheap therapy, now I just have to determine what kind of plot I'm going to frame this "therapy" around. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SailorMom Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 Finances are tight, DH is deployed 6 months out of the year, boys are teenagers, I have a 15 page paper due in 5 days that I haven't started,,,, But - I am happy. I think more than I have ever been. Paritally through a decision to live for the day and enjoy more little moments (not just looking for the next big, exciting thing to happen), but also because I have a wonderful family and while money is tight, we're fine, and I know I can feed, clothe, and shelter my kids. Grateful for all of it :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassenach Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 "I'm on the top of the world".....ummm not. In the past 12mths..... I found out that my back issue is permanent and is not operable. My employer cut my position's hours by 20% and that translates into more work, less time to do it. My job is a bad place to be, and no one wants to work for my company due to it. I am working full time to put some money in the bank, and that translates in to my 'mom' job suffering. My new boss, has a horrible reputation as a tyrant with ADD. She is proving this to be true in her first month. My son was accused of a felony that he didn't commit, and while he was found innocent, it will be on his record for the rest of his life and can affect his chance at acceptance in college/jobs in the future. I have to look at the neighbors who accused him, every day as I drive into the neighborhood. There are many days when driving home is the most stressful 3 minutes of my day, due to my brain replaying events over and over. My husband is losing his job of 10 years. Due to this, we can't sell our house, and I have to keep looking at my neighbors....and my brain keeps replaying events...... I had to put my (then) 3yo on major psych meds. The past 12 months have been the worst consecutive months of my life. :grouphug: Some years are really tough. Last year was hard for us. I posted something on Facebook New Year's Day about not being sad to say good-bye to 2010. Some of my friends replied with how great 2010 had been for them (most of them had had babies, one of them received a big windfall and was on the verge of moving into a 3000 sq ft house). I was surprised that even though they knew what our family had been through, they still felt the need to "defend" 2010. :confused: I pray the tide starts to turn for you. I coped first by not leaning on my own power, but on Jesus. Second, (and this is a little morbid) by alternating between reading Jane Austin and holocaust fiction. One helped me to be happy/hopeful, the other reminded me that my troubles could be much worse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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