For smart-alecks: Why are you homeschooling?

[Guest Dulcimeramy]

I'll go first.

 

I started homeschooling for the usual reasons but now I'm homeschooling because I can't stop. It is like perpetual motion.

 

1. The older kids are ahead of their local ps'd peers and it would waste their time to go to school. There they'd sit, staring off into space, mentally writing librettos that no one would ever hear, and rearranging the teacher's grammar in their minds until they went crazy.

 

2. The younger kids have to be homeschooled because I saved all this curriculum for them and it would really, really annoy me not to use it. The only thing that consoled me about my second son's rejection of Write Shop was that I could save it for his brother.

 

3. I don't remember any alternate paradigms. I am homeschool mother, hear me roar. When the kids graduate I have no idea who I will be. As long as I keep homeschooling, I am delaying that moment of forced self-discovery.

 

4. If I stop homeschooling I'll have to find some other justification for these denim jumpers I like to wear.

 

5. If I stop homeschooling I'll lose my excuse for being a pitiful housekeeper. As it is now, I can put a sacrificial and fatigued look on my face and tell my husband that, "It's omelets on paper plates for dinner again....you know, formal logic and algebra. Took all my time, but your kids are smart now. Sigh."

 

So why are you homeschooling?

[SonshineLearner]

Because I'd have no one to let the dog out or get the cat off the counter. No one to help with laundry; I'd have to pair socks myself.

I'd have no one to fetch me bon bons or look for the remote control they lost "before school started". I'd have no one to pick up the trash, get the mail, or answer the door when it's the mailperson.

In general, I'd have to actually get off my butt :)

Oh wait, then what would I do??

:)

PS, Denim Jumpers are fancy!! I prefer sweats!

[Spy Car]

Home schooling? Is this a home schooling forum???!!! :D

 

Bill

[Audrey]

I homeschool so I can mainline my immeasurable genius directly into my profoundly gifted child 24/7.

 

As IF there could be another reason. *sniff*

[myfunnybunch]

We homeschool so that I don't have to get up in the morning.

 

Because I can't find another job that allow me to surf the net in my pj's and drink coffee instead of...er, while I work.

 

Cat

[ElizabethB]

So I can coerce someone to learn Latin with me. :)

[Jean in Newcastle]

Because it is all about Me, Me, Me. I need to feel fulfilled and needed so I need to keep my kids stunted while I keep them firmly tied to my very short apron strings (that is, when I don't have them locked in the basement). ;)

[EthiopianFood]

1. I already told everyone I was going to do it, and I don't want to lose face.

2. I hate waking up early, and am certainly too lazy to drive dd to school every morning since I'm sure she will always miss the bus due to my poor time management.

3. Real jobs stress me out.

4. I'll look stupid if I attend my homeschool group without a child in tow.

[Rosie_0801]

To save me the trouble of reading "How to Win Friends and Influence People" again to learn how to bend the local principal and teaching team to my will. It's a hassle I can do without.

 

:D

[Heather in Neverland]

Because I like the look of shock, dismay and sometimes, contempt that I get when they say "But you're a PRINCIPAL!" :D What can I say? I am a pot-stirrer.

[Laura Corin]

Because I needed something to give me an excuse for the house never being presentable.

 

Oh, and I have this little didactic voice in my head which constantly forms my actions into lessons (... now if you fold the towel into thirds then it fits over the skinny towel rail. Look, just like that...) and the dog listens even less than the children did.

 

Laura

[Joyofsixreboot]

I'd hate to abdicate my spot as family 'oddball'.

[Onceuponatime]

I do it for the books. What other occupation will allow me to stay home and read as much as I want while seeming industrious?

[RegularMom]

It's all part of my dastardly plan to give certain key family members anuerisms. Bwaa-ha-ha-ha-haaaa!!!

[....]

Because it is all about Me, Me, Me. I need to feel fulfilled and needed so I need to keep my kids stunted while I keep them firmly tied to my very short apron strings (that is, when I don't have them locked in the basement). ;)

 

:iagree: This is EXACTLY why I homeschool.

[Tarreymere]

I homeschool to keep my kids culturally naive so that I don't have to deal with demands for name brand clothing and Ipods. I need the money for bon bons.

 

I'm also having a torrid affair with the UPS man and I need an excuse to keep ordering more books.

 

And I enjoy having 'minions'.

[kwickimom]

Because I was a bored housewife, which no college education, who felt the need to do something with her time.

 

That and I want to run "off the grid" and isolate my children and shove my religious beliefs down their throats.

 

Cant figure out which is my better reason :D

[TXMary2]

1. Because I need to shelter my kids from the scary real world.

2. Because I prefer socially awkward children.

3. Because I don't want them to get into college.

4. Because weird is where it's at!

5. Because I need to control every moment of their day.

 

DUH!!!!

[Sasharowan]

Because I hate mornings.

 

Because I hate cleaning.

 

Because I love books.

 

Because I hate corporations and that is what ps feels like to me.

 

Because my oldest loves his routines and ps would allow him to build a routine while I can shake him up in the name of learning.

 

Because I would spend the week in the principal's office explaining that dd didn't mean anything by arguing with the teacher, she just can't breathe without arguing.

[FO4UR]

I homeschool so I can mainline my immeasurable genius directly into my profoundly gifted child 24/7.

 

As IF there could be another reason. *sniff*

 

:lol:

 

If we didn't HS, we would have to go to the zoo and museums and parks when all the ps's were out.:scared:

[Carrie12345]

1. So I don't have to go out in the cold to drive to the bus stop.

2. So I don't have to panic if anyone is out of clean underwear.

3. So I have someone to bring in the garbage cans before they blow all over the neighborhood.

4. So I don't have to deal with the PTO.

5. So I can produce cynical liberal-libertarians without interference. :tongue_smilie:

[C_l_e_0..Q_c]

I homeschool because I don't want to deal with preparing lunch boxes.

I don't have to face lunch meat at 6h30 in the morning. I don't want to hear the kids complain about sandwiches 5 days of the week.

I homeschool because I want to prepare a hot lunch every single day of the year!

[Tarreymere]

http://www.bonbonschocolatier.com/

[hsbaby]

1. So that I don't have to make school lunches on the morning when I could be sleeping.

 

2 to keep my children so unsocialized that they will never feel comfortable in the real world. Then they can live at home, sheltered by me forever, and giving my life meaning.

 

3. To avoid fundraisers

 

4. I enjoy arguing with children on a daily basis about school work.

 

5. I don't want to help with homework.

 

6. I don't want my kids exposed to the illnesses public schooled kids carry.

 

7. I like to save money on clothes by wearing pajamas 90% of the time.

 

8. And finally, I am far too intelligent to NOT share my gifts with my children.

[Remudamom]

Another reason for my little brothers and sisters to see how superior I am. 8))))

[jlmom]

I can't think of anything smart-aleck to say, but I just had to tell you all that this post is just what I needed today!! Thanks for all of your hilarious answers!!

[elegantlion]

I homeschool because:

 

1. I take great joy in watching the school bus go by each morning, knowing my ds is still asleep.

 

2. Otherwise I'd have to get a full time job and who wants that.

 

3. Without homeschooling I'd have no reason to buy all these books.

 

4. If we didn't homeschool dh would take the spare bedroom as his office and that would be one less room I get to decorate for myself.

 

5. My ds would get kicked out of public school because they required shirts and shoes to attend.

[kchara]

1. Because this is my passive-aggressive way of telling my parents exactly how badly they did their jobs.

 

2. So my daughter doesn't become a brain-dead Justin Bieber/Twilight/whatever the new idiotic fad is addict at 9

 

3. Because if I sent my olders who school, who would change the little's diapers when I'm pregnant and have morning sickness and can't stand to? For that matter, who would raise the littles if my biggers were in school??? SOMEONE's gotta raise them, for heaven's sake!!

 

Thanks for this... I needed it this morning. :D

[BarbecueMom]

We're trying to avoid head lice and popularity.

[pdalley]

1. We don't do normal around here and the public schools are full of it.

 

2. My kids hate eating breakfast that early in the morning.

 

3. I'm allergic to the local public school administrators.

 

4. They wouldn't let my youngest do his math hanging upside down in a chair.

 

5. This helps me to fulfill my life long ambition of being a crotchety eccentric old lady.

[Sahamamama]

Sorry these are not snarkier, but it's the best I can do without coffee....

 

1. Because my sister told me that my children are "too sweet" to send to school.

 

2. Because my mother told me she likes being able to actually see the girls during the week. ;)

 

3. Because my dad likes to drop by at odd moments and play "Monster Pop Pop." Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek. I have three little girls. Imagine the shrieking.

 

4. Because my husband works all sorts of odd hours, and if we homeschool we can have a day with him in the middle of the week, then do school on Saturday when he gets a call case.

 

5. Because we like to have a relaxing morning, instead of the hectic rush.

 

6. Because I don't want my six year old sent to the psychiatric hospital.

 

:banghead:

 

http://moms.today.com/_news/2011/02/15/6058506-6-year-old-committed-to-psych-ward-against-moms-wishes

 

7. Because we like to snuggle too much to give it up when they're four, four and six.

 

8. Because no six year old needs to put in a 40-hour work week, not including homework (to the bus stop at 8:20 am--back home at 4:20 pm).

 

9. Because the school system's Kindergarten Registrar told me two years ago that they had "no place" for a kid like my daughter, who was only four and was already reading Little House books for fun. When I asked, "What will she learn in Kindergarten?" I was told, "She'll learn to stand in line, hang up her coat on a peg, and put her things in her cubby. Oh, and the pledge of allegiance, things like that." I'm not kidding.

 

10. Because if I sent them to school they would be unpaid Teacher Aides. Enough said.

Edited February 23, 2011 by Sahamamama

[MommyOwl]

So I don't have to come up with an excuse why my kid isn't in school today.

So We can go skiing (or anywhere else we want) during the week if we want.

So we can travel off-peak and avoid the crowds.

So I don't have to race for the bus and can stay in my comfy bed as long as I want.

[Tammyla]

I continue to homeschool... because it gives my in-laws indigestion;).

 

My other reasons are a profound love of slippers, a general dislike of going out in inclement weather, and my strong attachment to books. And of course keeping my kids as unsocialized as possible.

[Mommyfaithe]

I'm no quitter. :D

It gives me an excuse to feed my book addiction

I get to learn stuff I want to learn under the guise that I have to teach it.

I get to be a "controlling hovercraft mom". Yep...someone told me that....

Someone has to make sure the wood rack is full.

I get to snuggle my kids well past the age of three.

If I sent them to school, who would make me laugh?

If I sent them to school, I would have no excuse to research and buy curricula and then how would I resell to buy again?

I would have no excuse to say no to lunch dates with people I don't want to go to lunch with.

I wouldn't be able to get the best doctor appointment times.

We wouldn't be able to go to the amusement park, batting cages, ice skating, go carts, when everyone else is in school.

 

Quite honestly, I like homeschooling and I dread the day it will end. Of course I will be 58 by then...and probably loving up my grandkids.

Edited February 23, 2011 by Mommyfaithe

[Mommyfaithe]

We're trying to avoid head lice and popularity.

 

Really, you do not know how accurate these two reasons are...especially with my kids' old testament hair.

 

Faithe

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

Because I'm against socialization and am actively rearing hermits-to-be. :tongue_smilie:

[Teachin'Mine]

I'm doing it to maintain my forum membership here. :tongue_smilie:

[Dmmetler]

Because it gives me an excuse to buy all those nice books, manipulatives and teaching supplies!

[lanabug]

I'd have to get a "real" job if I didn't homeschool.

 

Lana

[Mejane]

So we can go to Disney in January and have no crowds.

 

Because we live in an "excellent school district" and I'm just that much of a rebel.

 

Because I love paying school taxes and getting nothing for my money.

 

Because I hated parent-teacher conferences; those teachers intimidated me with their amazing ability to know what was best for my kids!

 

Because my son couldn't possibly get up at 5:30 to catch the bus. Wait... that one is probably true.

[Nakia]

1. So I don't have to get up early. I like getting up at 8...or 9.

2. So we don't have to wait until June or July to go on vacation.

3. Because I would have to work full time if the kids went to school.

4. Because I don't want my girls making out with boys. See, this is an all girls school.

5. Because my family already thinks I'm a freak, and you all know how I love flying my freak flag.

6. Because my mother said I couldn't do it. HAH! I showed her.

7. Because I like my kids being unsocialized. I mean, how goofy is it that they like hanging out with the old people at the nursing home where my grandmother lives?!?! So goofy and it rocks!

8. I like making sure they girls have time to fold laundry because it's my least favorite chore.

9. So I can hang out with all of you. :D

[2cents]

I like going to the Staples and Office Depot Teacher Days because I get free stuff and they feed me Chick-fil-a, donuts and bagels. :)

[Snickerdoodle]

You guys & gals are so funny.

 

My favorite is the torrid love affair with the UPS man. :lol:

[elise1mds]

I homeschool...

 

1. So I can listen to my son shriek like a banshee when I act like a slave driver and make him do math.

 

2. So I can indulge my love of all things Michael's/Hobby Lobby without seeming like a freak.

 

3. Repeat #2, but change the stores to Borders/Barnes & Noble/Books-A-Million/Scholastic.

 

4. So that, as someone else said, I don't have to get a "real job."

 

5. So I have an excuse to go to the zoo/aquarium/children's museum in the middle of the day.

 

6. So I can treat my son like a minion and make him do whole lists of stuff.

 

Other than the "I don't want him socialized" part, I think that's pretty much it!

[elise1mds]

Home schooling? Is this a home schooling forum???!!! :D

 

Bill

 

I'm doing it to maintain my forum membership here. :tongue_smilie:

 

:lol: :lol: :lol:

 

Also this!

[Snickerdoodle]

One of my best homeschooling friends is married to a UPS guy. Really, I'm serious.

 

Groan... :lol:

[JumpedIntoTheDeepEndFirst]

Because my PTA meetings have the BEST snacks!

[JudoMom]

Homeschool my kids? Stinkin' monkeys!....I knew I was forgetting to do something everyday!

[Veritaserum]

We're trying to avoid head lice and popularity.

 

:lol:

[pahansen]

Because if I had to get a real job, I could only shop for Social Studies supplies on the taxpayers' dime. This way I get to shop for everything -- and pay for it, too! (History is boring, after all, right?)

 

Oh, and also because I believe that only professionally educated teachers are able to instruct children in the mysterious ways of 1+1=2.

 

This is fun!

--Pamela