Pretty in Pink Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 I just found out. Three positive tests. I could not feel more disappointed right now, and of course I feel guilty for feeling that way. I had grand plans. This is my last semester of pre-reqs before I was supposed to start nursing school. Now that's on the back burner, again. I have worked so hard. I know that sounds selfish. I want to cry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMom Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 :grouphug: When plans change, it is difficult. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 I just found out. Three positive tests. I could not feel more disappointed right now, and of course I feel guilty for feeling that way. I had grand plans. This is my last semester of pre-reqs before I was supposed to start nursing school. Now that's on the back burner, again. I have worked so hard. I know that sounds selfish. I want to cry. I am sorry the timing didn't work our like you wanted. That is a hard disappointment to accept. I had always planned to go back to school when my kids got to the ages they are now.....then we unexpectedly adopted dd4. We thought we were just fostering her for a while, we didn't know it would lead to adoption. When we were given the chance to adopt, it was laced with a feeling much like I expect you are having. I knew by adopting her, I was giving up something that I was finally doing for myself. While I knew the feelings were a bit selfish, it didn't change the fact that they were real and justified. Please know that many of us have had the same feelings at times in our lives and can empathises with you . It is hard and it does hurt to give up something you wanted. :grouphug::grouphug:Prayers, congratulations and well wishes for a happy and healthy pregnacy:grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lolly Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 :grouphug: When plans change, it is difficult. :grouphug: :iagree::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 I just found out. Three positive tests. I could not feel more disappointed right now, and of course I feel guilty for feeling that way. I had grand plans. This is my last semester of pre-reqs before I was supposed to start nursing school. Now that's on the back burner, again. I have worked so hard. I know that sounds selfish. I want to cry. {{{many hugs}}} Congratulations. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Ohh hun. :grouphug::grouphug: Believe me, I cried till the cows came home with #7. Mostly through the whole pregnancy, too. I love her to pieces now, but her timing still sucks big time. It's OK, just cry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonshineLearner Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 It's hard when you have your plans changed for you... A little behind where you want to finish school... but you'll get there. Perhaps your 1 year old and this one.... will be best little buds... It'll happen.... Slings work in school, too?? :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plucky Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 No, doesn't sound selfish. I've had a pregnancy or three interupt my plans. You will get over it and be happy, but it is okay to mourn. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teachin'Mine Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blakereese Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug: It's OK to be disappointed, don't feel guilty for feeling that way. :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LG Gone Wild Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 I just found out. Three positive tests. I could not feel more disappointed right now, and of course I feel guilty for feeling that way. I had grand plans. This is my last semester of pre-reqs before I was supposed to start nursing school. Now that's on the back burner, again. I have worked so hard. I know that sounds selfish. I want to cry. Oh honey, I've had that happen. I was completely floored. Your grand plans can change and become something grander. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:All your disappointment will be gone once that baby is placed in your arms.:001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 You are entitled to feel the way you feel, so let it out. :grouphug: It isn't selfish. It's realistic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kari C in SC Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 My mom had 3 kids under 3 and thought she was DONE. Then 5 years later she ended up pregnant with me. She cried and was so not happy. She was tired and her last one had gone off to school. She tells me all the time that I was the best gift she could have ever received. She tells me how much she loves me and my children and how she couldn't imagine her life without me. So, it is okay to feel down and upset. It will all work out in the end... I promise! Blessings to you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lisamarie Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 Despite actively trying for #2, I still felt that way. I didn't start to accept it until my 20 week u/s. And even past that, I didn't really bond with her until she was almost 6 months old. A lot of that was due to pregnancy depression and post partum depression, and probably from having had a tramatic first pregnancy and delivery, but I still have the momma guilt and the what ifs. Either way, I love her and she is a delight and I can't imagine our lives without her. And my lack of excitement and early attachment has had no long term effects on DD. She is very affectionate, well adjusted, outgoing, loving, etc. With time you will adjust and bond with this new child. Just give yourself time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathleen in VA Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 It's hard when your plans change.:grouphug: This child will be the one who takes care of you in your old age.:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalphs Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 I just found out. Three positive tests. I could not feel more disappointed right now, and of course I feel guilty for feeling that way. I had grand plans. This is my last semester of pre-reqs before I was supposed to start nursing school. Now that's on the back burner, again. I have worked so hard. I know that sounds selfish. I want to cry. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 Just come here and say what you need to say; let it out. Holding it in only creates more stress. I can completely, 100% relate to your feelings. When I found out I was pregnant with our last ds, I lost it. We'd been told NOT to have anymore because of my health problems so I was charting and we were using two back up methods of birth control. I ovulated WAY later than normal. Boom, little ds. (((HUGS))) I am just glad for you that you can come here and find a place to release the negativity and encouragement. I had NONE. My youngest ds is now my buddy. Literally, we are two people who are 99 times out of 100, in sync and enjoy each other's company immensely. He's a wonderful blessing, but I couldn't see that future at the time. Faith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alenee Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 I was always excited but my dh sure wasn't. That's not quite the same but it certainly made me question if the baby was the right thing if dh was that unhappy. He adores all three girls now, even though it took him quite a while to bond with #1 and #3. I have plans to return to school in a few years and I know I would be upset if plans changed. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 :grouphug: (((Pretty in Pink))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Celia Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 I know how you feel. With my last pregnancy, I sat on the floor with my newly adopted daughter in my arms and just BAWLED. And I did the same thing every time I thought about it for months. And now, here I sit, wondering if, despite all our precautions, I'm pregnant again. I've got some of the signs, and I simply can't make myself go get a test. Keeping on hoping the lack of my monthly is stress related! It's alright to cry about this, and there's nothing wrong with feeling rough about such a big change of plans. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kim in Appalachia Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 :grouphug: I'm sorry this not what you had planned. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JadeOrchidSong Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heatherwith4 Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 :grouphug: I'm sorry you're disappointed. Congratulations and prayers for a healthy pg and peace. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gooblink Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sheryl Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 I just found out. Three positive tests. I could not feel more disappointed right now, and of course I feel guilty for feeling that way. I had grand plans. This is my last semester of pre-reqs before I was supposed to start nursing school. Now that's on the back burner, again. I have worked so hard. I know that sounds selfish. I want to cry. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hockey Mom Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 :grouphug: BTDT too. My youngest (born a year after DS8) made me feel the same way. I barely had a chance to get used to DS8 when baby DS came along. I cried even harder when I found out he wasn't going to be a girl. I think that's why it takes so long for them to 'bake'. Gives us enough time to prepare mentally for them. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 I think that's why it takes so long for them to 'bake'. Gives us enough time to prepare mentally for them. :grouphug: [/size] :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest pbbuttercup Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 It is normal to feel this way when things do not go as you had planned - especially for something as life changing as finding out you are pregnant. It is going to take a while to adjust your plans and figure out an alternative route, but the good news is there ARE alternative routes. There are ways to accomplish everything that you wanted despite your plans altering. Discuss all of your options with the father or family/friends before making any serious decisions about your life. Everything happens for a reason and this could be the biggest blessing of your life! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 :grouphug: You are entitled to your emotions and feelings :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
littlebug42 Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug: I will be thinking of you, hoping that you can find some peace. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 Oh honey, I've had that happen. I was completely floored. Your grand plans can change and become something grander. :grouphug: This.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elfgivas Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 :grouphug: :grouphug: and more :grouphug: ann Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 :grouphug: :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LittleIzumi Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: I was terrified with my first--no insurance, in school, dh & I were sharing a house with three friends (two of whom were getting divorced from each other), etc. But of course now she's our best mistake ever :lol:. I did end up having nearly the longest bachelor's ever, but I graduated eventually! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Supertechmom Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 I was on the path to a grand job that would fly me around to gorgeous places taking photos( as 2nd assistant HUGE POSITION!), following my dreams. The foundation was laid, plans in place, meetings scheduled with the final people, the end of school insight with a fabulous job . And those pesky few weeks of stomach flu that got worse and worse as each day passed... well it was my firstborn. Happy I was not. Pleased I was not. I couldn't even finish school because the pregnancy was so bad. ( I went back after his birth but still..) But once he was placed in my arms, everything changed. And the path that it set me on is one I have never regretted. It's okay to feel however you want to feel. It is a set back and that is something you must process and work out. It is a change you had not envisioned and that is something you must work out. If we were near, you could come over and cry your eyes out and we would eat lots of ice cream and double chocolate brownies and I would tell no one. :001_smile: Your entitled to work through your feelings. AND NOT FEEL BAD about that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coffeefreak Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 Surprise Pregnancies are hard. The thing to remember is, they always turn into blessings. It's OK to be sad. You'll figure everything out and it will be OK. :grouphug: Blessings! Dorinda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FO4UR Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
homeschooltoone Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug: and congratulation! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tree House Academy Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 If you are a Christian, just know that God is in control here and He has a plan for you that may be different from what you had planned for you - but it will work for His good in the end. Let that give you peace. I understand...I would be horrified if I found out I was pregnant right now too...but the above would comfort me (I hope). If you are not Christian, then I guess all I can really say is, "I'm sorry you are disappointed." *hugs* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlessedMom Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanceXToo Posted February 12, 2011 Share Posted February 12, 2011 Don't feel guilty. You didn't expect this or plan for it, it's changing some major plans you've had, and your hormones are probably going crazy right now anyway... so go ahead and accept your feelings... ...and know that they will pass, that you'll come to love this baby as much as you do your others, and there will come a point when you couldn't imagine your life any other way. And it will NEVER be too late to follow through with your plans, even if it's on hold at the moment. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted February 12, 2011 Share Posted February 12, 2011 :grouphug: don't feel guilty. I felt that way with a couple of mine. You do move past it, but the timing isn't always what we want. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Random Posted February 12, 2011 Share Posted February 12, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Pretty in Pink, Sounds like you have some good company on here. It's okay to feel sad. Many of us have resented a pregnancy. Sometimes it takes a while to appreciate, but like the others have said, the baby is always the bigger blessing. School will always be there. Praying for peace for you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoPlaceLikeHome Posted February 12, 2011 Share Posted February 12, 2011 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ocelotmom Posted February 12, 2011 Share Posted February 12, 2011 (edited) I just found out. Three positive tests. I could not feel more disappointed right now, and of course I feel guilty for feeling that way. I had grand plans. This is my last semester of pre-reqs before I was supposed to start nursing school. Now that's on the back burner, again. I have worked so hard. I know that sounds selfish. I want to cry. It doesn't sound selfish - it sounds normal! I found myself unexpectedly and unintentionally pregnant in my last semester of nursing school. It was horrible. My family sacrificed so much to get me through school, and I'd worked hard... and then this went and threw a wrench in all our plans. It took a lot of mental adjustment before I was at all ok with it - I think most of the first trimester, at least. Now she's born, and absolutely wonderful. I'm having such a good time with her, much moreso than I did with my first two. It's still hard watching my classmates all go on with their lives and get nursing jobs and talk about paychecks and carpooling together to RN-to-BSN programs and so on. And I'm torn between serious job-searching (which my family needs, and before I get too far out of school to be reasonably hireable), and just taking care of this baby for a while longer. So, I totally adore her, but I still, nearly a year after finding out I was pregnant, have mixed feelings about it all. Let yourself be upset - it doesn't mean you'll love the baby any less. Edited February 12, 2011 by ocelotmom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted February 12, 2011 Share Posted February 12, 2011 It is so awful.... these standards we hold ourselves and others to... Yes children are a gift from God but they are also an ENORMOUS, LIFE-LONG responsibility! It is perfectly acceptable to freak out, be sad for lost opportunities, etc. I know lots of other women who have felt the same as you and have been villified by others for not jumping for joy at the "wonderful news". I applaud you for being real about your feelings. I tried actively for #1 and when the test came up positive (even though it was what I wanted) the VERY FIRST THOUGHT I HAD was "Oh no. What have I done?" When we adopted ds#2 the process took a year. I swear I almost went mad going back and forth between being thrilled and terrified. For dd that we adopted here.... well, I had given up on the possibility completely, moved to another country, took a step forward in my career, was half-way through a grad program, etc. So even though my heart yearned for a baby girl....practically speaking, I had written off the possibility. Man makes plans and God laughs. We got the call and I had about 5 minutes to decide. I then had 12 hours to adjust to the idea until she was in my arms. I have never been so thrilled and so FREAKED OUT in my life. I had JUST rearranged my whole life in a new direction...one that I could not reverse... and now THIS? How would I do it all? And I am not going to tell you it has been super easy and that God just smoothed out the whole path. He has provided for us in amazing, miraculous ways but it has still been the busiest year of my life. But I am also one of those people who believe everything happens for a reason. Praying that God gives you some peace about this. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan in TX Posted February 12, 2011 Share Posted February 12, 2011 Your entitled to work through your feelings. AND NOT FEEL BAD about that. I thought the above was worth repeating. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Susan in TX Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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