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Susan in TX

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About Susan in TX

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    Hive Mind Level 6 Worker: Scout Bee

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  1. Don't cook on those nights. Either assign the cooking to someone else or have things available that you can just heat up in the microwave. For us that would be canned soup or chili, frozen dinners, frozen pizza. You could also get ingredients to throw together a salad. Costco has burgers that are already cooked that just need heating up in the microwave. Another option is sandwiches. Or you can make stuff ahead, like burritos, and freeze them. Then all you need to do is heat it up. Less clean up that way too. Susan in TX
  2. Think in terms of natural consequences. You mentioned that they break a lot of pencils. You could institute a "you break it, you buy it" policy. So if they get allowance, you make them pay for the cost of every pencil they break. If they don't get an allowance you could give them each $5 and every time they break a pencil, they have to give you X amount. After a set period of time...maybe two weeks... let them spend the money they have left on candy or something. Let them know ahead of time that all the money will be theirs to spend if they don't break any pencils. As far as the cheating is concerned I would first want to know why he felt the need to cheat. Was it not wanting to do the work (boredom/fatigue) or was it not wanting to get it wrong (fear of failure). If it is the first, the work you are having him do may be too easy or simply boring/tedious. If it is the latter then the work may be too hard. If he continues to insist that he didn't cheat it may be possible that he really didn't. I would talk to him about the purpose of the assignment and emphasize that the point isn't just doing it, the point is to learn something, and if he just copies the answers he is defeating the purpose. Then make him do it again without copying or give him another similar assignment. The problem of them shoving food into their desks is fixed by not allowing any food outside of the kitchen/dining room. Supervision will be necessary to enforce this rule and make it a habit. If you see them with food where they aren't allowed to have it you correct them and tell them to take it to the designated eating space. If they break the rule and make a mess with food outside the designated eating area you have them clean it up. This isn't a "tell them once and you are done" kind of a thing. This is something you have to continue to enforce. Susan in TX
  3. Your boys are very typical children. Children who behave as you did as a child are the rare ones. I would stop worrying about rewards and punishments and start focusing on your relationship. Kids who have a close relationship with their parents want to please them. Also you are probably being too hard on them. You need to think in terms of teaching them how to behave not just expecting them to do it and then getting exasperated when they don't. And you don't help them by doing things like having the teacher's book easily accessible to them when you know they struggle with cheating. That just sets them up to fail. Susan in TX
  4. You will definitely need it for level one. At that level the teacher reads most of the directions to the student and those directions are in the teacher's manual. I am not sure at what level they start putting all the instruction in the student books but the teacher's manuals are worth it just to have the answers to make correcting easier. Susan in TX
  5. Don't leave him alone when he is working on an assignment. He can't cheat if you are right there supervising. If you have to leave the room then take the teacher's book with you. Also, I have never expected my kids to get schoolwork done while I am not home. It just doesn't work. Yes they have work they can do independently, but they still need someone to be there to help as needed and keep them on task. Susan in TX
  6. What the teacher should do is bring every failing grade on each assignment for which accommodations were not given to a passing grade. Or they should drop those assignments from his grade altogether. If they won't work on this with you then get a lawyer. Susan in TX
  7. Mississippi is not a community property state so if her name is not on the debt, she is not liable for it. She said that the credit card was not a joint account so she is just an authorized user on that account. If that is the case she is not liable for that debt. Susan in TX
  8. I don't see how she could be liable for his debts and expenses if they are not living together. She is only an authorized user on the credit card. I think she can ask the credit card company to remove her as an authorized user and then whatever happened with that account would not affect her. Susan in TX
  9. Do you have to get a divorce to leave? If he continues to be abusive just take the kids and leave. The state can make it hard to get a divorce but they cannot force you to live with him. Obviously leaving would be easier if you had a job and/or some money saved up or some supportive friend or family that could take you in. But please don't resign yourself to just putting up with his abuse. Susan in TX
  10. Have you thought of just saying no to some things? Having kids doing different sports that meet at the same time when there is only one parent to do the driving seems unsustainable to me. It is one thing for you to be doing it ALL but you cannot be in two places at once. And I am unsure why you ever agreed to stretch yourself so thin. If dh is going to continue to travel a lot I would just say that something has to give and that something might have to be the kids extracurriculars. Or you need to find someone else to take up the slack when dh is gone. Can they carpool to games/practices? Or can you hire someone to do some of the driving? My dh works two jobs part of the year. Pretty much all of the kid stuff and house stuff is my responsibility. I do it ALL. But I also understand my limits. So there are things I simply don't do. It is okay to know your limits and draw a line somewhere. And please, let go of the guilt. You have a lot on your plate and you are doing the best you can. And it is good for kids to be left to their own resources some of the time. You do not have to orchestrate the fun stuff for them. Often kids have more fun just dong their own thing anyway. Susan in TX
  11. My Dad got bladder cancer when he was in his 80s. He was is great health up until then. He smoked as a teenager but gave it up when he was eighteen. He had his bladder removed and they did radiation but chemo was not an option because of his age (I was told that his heart would not be able to handle chemo). He had at least three good years after that. Then the cancer came back and there wasn't much they could do. They did do some more radiation, but at that point it was palliative care. He was a heavy drinker so I think that probably was a risk factor. Susan in TX
  12. Christian Light Education Susan in TX
  13. Don't think of those things as not school work. Incorporate these things into his schooling. Don't turn them into school but count it as school and use it as a jumping off point for the other required subjects. If he is interested in art maybe he can cover history by studying art history. Maybe he can do a writing assignment that is in some way connected to his interests. I am sure there is some way to connect programming with math. The beauty of homeschooling is you are not limited by the four walls of a classroom and a textbook. Susan in TX
  14. I would sit down with him and ask him what his goals are. Does he want to go to college? What types of jobs/careers is he interested in doing in the future? Then I would collaborate with him on a plan to prepare him for what he wants to do. So if he wants to go to college he needs to find a way to complete all the traditional high school courses that colleges require. But this does not need to be done with traditional textbook curriculum. Let him design his own. Set him loose. He can learn history with a library card and researching on the internet or even just watching documentaries. He may need traditional curriculum for some things but give him a choice in how to cover the subjects that need to be covered. If college is not something he wants to pursue then I would make sure he has the basics down and then let him pursue whatever he wants. I would give him free rein with the understanding that he needs to be working on something and have a plan--goals he wants to achieve and what steps he needs to take to achieve them. Susan in TX
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