Unreasonable to change the bedroom of college son?

[OKCyndi]

My oldest, now a sophomore in college, has always had the best bedroom in the house with an attached bathroom. During his freshman year, we left the bedroom intact, even though it was a pit.

 

He is busy at college and rarely home, except for school breaks. He won't be coming home this summer because he's been selected for a summer position that will require him to be at the university.

 

My daughter, age 14, has been chomping at the bit to get the bedroom so she can have a bathroom that she doesn't have to share with her other younger brothers. It makes sense to move her to college boy's bedroom; she will make the best use of it, and I want to reclaim it and make it habitable again.

 

I will re-do younger sister's bedroom to make it masculine, and college boy will have this bedroom when he comes home. Nevertheless, he feels uprooted and can't understand why I don't get why he's so upset about this.

 

Am I being unreasonable to think that I don't need to leave the bedroom a shrine for a child who is home 30 days (at a maximum) a year?

 

Thanks for your input!

[KarenNC]

Sounds perfectly reasonable to me to change it. It's not like he's being sent to a pup tent in the backyard when he comes home.:001_smile:

[Renee in NC]

My dh left fore bootcamp in August. When he came home at Christmas, his room had become the den.:tongue_smilie:

 

I think there was some passive aggressiveness going on, though, as he joined the Army against his mother's wishes.:tongue_smilie:

[JumpedIntoTheDeepEndFirst]

As a parent I totally understand and would probably do the same thing.

 

As a college student I would have been hurt that my room was being dismantled-as if I'd been kicked out and lost my home base. That I was the lesser member of the family just 'cause I went to university. Sort of like loosing my place in the family.

 

Perhaps you can turn over the room but get enough participation from him to help ease the transition.

[JennyD]

I agree that it is perfectly reasonable for you to change the room; in fact, it seems rather unfair to your daughter not to change it.

 

That said, I can empathize with your son. Growing up is hard on everyone sometimes.

[kalanamak]

 

Am I being unreasonable to think that I don't need to leave the bedroom a shrine for a child who is home 30 days (at a maximum) a year?

 

 

Personally, unless you have one already, I'd turn the 14 year old's room into a good-looking guest room. My folks provided some attic and closet space, but off to college is off.

[hsmom]

I see nothing wrong with doing that.

 

I would really talk to him and let him know how he has moved on and is moving on in life. Not that he is not part of the family anymore, but he is in college and soon going to have his own home. So, his sister who is still home will move up to a nicer room for her time here, then when she is off to college the room goes to the next one in line. This way all kids have something to look forward to.

 

Let him know he will still have a room at the house, just since he is not there as much anymore the larger one is not necessary.

[OrganicAnn]

I think you should have been telling your oldest DS that when he goes off to college, then his room will be made over to the next oldest. Then he could have know what to expect. You should be telling this to your DD so she'll know when she goes to college it will happen to her too (though she'll probably be more accepting).

 

I would not change it over until your DS had time to come home and move anything he wants to move himself, since he thought it was his room forever.

[rwjx2khsmj]

No, you are not being unreasonable. That doesn't mean he won't be upset.

 

I'd try to get group participation (his and hers) in the changes while everyone is home over the break. Assuming that they are going to be home.

[Remudamom]

It's unfair for your dd to have to share a bathroom with brothers when there is another available. He's being selfish.

[Garga]

I agree that it is perfectly reasonable for you to change the room; in fact, it seems rather unfair to your daughter not to change it.

 

That said, I can empathize with your son. Growing up is hard on everyone sometimes.

 

 

When I moved out to get married, my mother started redecorating the room the afternoon after the wedding. I felt bad about it, even though I would never be in it again. In my case it was all in my mother's attitude. It was like she was glad I was gone and now had a new room to play with. If she had said something like, "Sweetie, I'm so glad you're married, but we'll miss you so much! The house will feel empty without you." And then waited at least until the next day, I probably wouldn't have had a problem with it.

 

After experiencing that, I, personally, would probably say some gentle soothing words about how missed my ds is and how sad I feel to see his room empty (or whatever soothing words come to mind), but I would still change his room around. I wouldn't say, "Oh Mortimer, get over yourself! You're never here! What'd ya expect?" I'd be kind and gentle about it.

[MindyD]

Right after I went to college for my sophomore year, my family moved to the parsonage of my dad's new church. It was a 3 bedroom house, and my 2 sisters each got their own room. I got the couch when I came home. It gets better though. My baby sister would fall asleep on the couch, and I would go to bed in her room. At some point in the night, she'd wake up and come to bed. I would then have to move to the couch. I didn't come home much my sophomore year. As for your son, it's part of growing up. Give the room to your daughter and let him have the smaller room. Honestly, if it was my kid, he would have lost the awesome bedroom the day he moved to college. =)

[Karen in CO]

I kept my ds's room intake his first semester because I just couldn't let him go. After paying rent for him for an apartment in Tokyo for his second semester, I quick overcame my reluctance.

 

Now when he comes home, he sleeps in a single bed in hubby's office. When my brother and his family come for Christmas, he sleeps on the couch. I can't speak for how he feels about it, but it is what it is.

[EKS]

I would change it. We've always told our older son that when he goes away to college, his bedroom is up for grabs.

[Mejane]

I agree that it is perfectly reasonable for you to change the room; in fact, it seems rather unfair to your daughter not to change it.

 

That said, I can empathize with your son. Growing up is hard on everyone sometimes.

 

This.

[Renthead Mommy]

Is he coming home for christmas? I would change it, but I would not do it if he wasn't there to move his own things.

 

He'll come to understand and see it makes sense, but he may have big issues with you just going in and touching his stuff and going through it all to move it. Even if you think you have the world's best, most open relationship with no secrets, he's got things in his room that he wouldn't want you to know about or see. These could be anything from the forgotten dime bag, dirty mags or the leftover tequilla hidden in a shoe box down to something as simple as to notes written to/from some crush in high school you might consider cute. (Whatever you do, don't tell him that part if you see them!!LOL!) It could even be notes/poems/drawings he did that he kept personal to himself.

 

Make sure you tell him you won't go through his things, or move them without him. But if he won't be home for a year, why make the room a storage unit?? And then throw in, besides, after you graduate, it's not like you'll want to be moving back in here! You'll probably have big plans on an apartment with your friends or something! Leaving all us in the dust! Then give a laugh letting him know you expect to be the forgotten one, not him.

[AnitaMcC]

My oldest, now a sophomore in college, has always had the best bedroom in the house with an attached bathroom. During his freshman year, we left the bedroom intact, even though it was a pit.

 

He is busy at college and rarely home, except for school breaks. He won't be coming home this summer because he's been selected for a summer position that will require him to be at the university.

 

My daughter, age 14, has been chomping at the bit to get the bedroom so she can have a bathroom that she doesn't have to share with her other younger brothers. It makes sense to move her to college boy's bedroom; she will make the best use of it, and I want to reclaim it and make it habitable again.

 

I will re-do younger sister's bedroom to make it masculine, and college boy will have this bedroom when he comes home. Nevertheless, he feels uprooted and can't understand why I don't get why he's so upset about this.

 

Am I being unreasonable to think that I don't need to leave the bedroom a shrine for a child who is home 30 days (at a maximum) a year?

 

Thanks for your input!

 

I am with you... I don't understand why he is upset. It just makes common sense to allow his sister to have her own room and bathroom if that option is available.

 

In our house once a child is moved off to college, etc, their room is up for grabs-LOL. But then again I have 4 bedroom upstairs and a bedroom in basement for 9 people living here. We ended up converting the dining room (we used it as a play room for the kids when younger) into a bedroom. So we have 6 bedrooms for 9 people.

 

When niece went off to college, her bedroom was turned over to Dd. But granted at the time Dd and her twin brother had to share a bedroom (niece is 9 yrs older than our twins), while two nephews shared space in basement, and two youngest Ds's shared a bedroom. For us, moving Dd into niece's room was a necessity!!!!

 

Niece had to share bedroom with Dd when she came home on breaks. Niece also gotten her own apartment at college (shared with 2 other roommates) for her last two years of college. When she graduated, she came back home... but she got lucky that her boyfriend's parents gave her a room in their place

[ChandlerMom]

I agree that it is perfectly reasonable for you to change the room; in fact, it seems rather unfair to your daughter not to change it.

 

That said, I can empathize with your son. Growing up is hard on everyone sometimes.

 

:iagree: And I agree your ds is being selfish to put his bruised ego ahead of his sister's needs. And for you as a parent, I think you need to put your daughter's needs ahead of your son's sensibilities. I also agree you would have made your life easier to explain these things to him before he went to college, but hey, that's just water under the bridge. We can only go from here. Maybe you can point out YOU have to share your bedroom and it's your house! :lol:

 

That said, you might try the approach of reaffirming to ds that this will always be his home and he will always be your son and an important part of the family. BUT right now this home needs to function for the people living there 365 days a year.

 

I think you're being darn thoughtful to have a room for when he does visit instead of just a couch in the living room! :D

[LunaLee]

I think it's perfectly reasonable. My dd's friend had her room converted to gym before her plane even touched down in FL the day she left.

[Harriet Vane]

It's unfair for your dd to have to share a bathroom with brothers when there is another available. He's being selfish.

 

:iagree:

[Hannah C.]

I moved away to college and slept on the couch whenever I came home, because there were so many of us. I already shared a room with two sisters, and the fourth girl took my place when I left. :)

 

If you could wait and let him move his stuff instead of moving it for him, that would be nice. I can see why he's against it. I think his sister needs it more though!! And he'll still have a room, from what you've said, so it's not like he's being kicked out!

[Meriwether]

It's unfair for your dd to have to share a bathroom with brothers when there is another available. He's being selfish.

 

 

I agree. I wouldn't have waited a year to move Dd, either.

[Oak Knoll Mom]

One of my brothers took my room as soon as I left for college. Whenever I was home, whoever went to bed first got the bed and the other had to sleep on the sofa. Can't say either of us liked the arrangement, but it worked for the few short weeks I was home every year.

[PiCO]

Perfectly reasonable. But with the younger ones, make sure they know NOW that when they go off to college someone else will get the "good" room.

 

I've told my kids for years what I'm doing with their rooms when they go off to college. Sure, they can come visit in the summer and on breaks if they want to. But if they are spending 3/4 of the year elsewhere they don't get exclusive rights to a room here 365 days/year.

[Aubrey]

It's unfair for your dd to have to share a bathroom with brothers when there is another available. He's being selfish.

 

:iagree: And I bet deep down he knows this. Still, it would be nice to be gentle when you tell him so. :001_smile:

[Catwoman]

Maybe he's worried that if he ever wants to move back home after college, he won't have his room any more?

 

Of course, he's being selfish. I think it's perfectly normal not to want to lose his place in the house. OTOH, you're in a situation where someone else could be using the bedroom and the bathroom, and it's not like you're converting your dd's room into a nice craft room for yourself (although now that I've mentioned it, you're probably thinking about it... ;)) so your ds really has nothing to complain about.

 

I agree with everyone who suggested that you be super-nice about it, and that you let him pack up his own stuff, but leaving the rooms unused while the other kids all have to share one bathroom doesn't make sense.

 

Cat

[Brindee]

We have done that. DS19 went to a college not that far away for his freshman year. He was home quite a few times a year, so we left it as his room. We talked with him, though, about the possibility of switching rooms with a younger sibling.

 

DS17 is now going to a Christian Boarding school--the perfect situation for him right now. He passed on wanting the bigger room, since he's home once a month, and didn't feel the need for a different room.

 

DD13 has wanted a bigger room since ds19 first went to college. When, during the year last year, ds decided to go to a Christian College in Mexico this year, we discussed EVERYTHING about it, and what his options would be. By then he already understood about the room change and was fine with it. He chose to stay down there during this break, so he's travelling with friends and really enjoying it. We miss him and won't get to see him until next summer, but we talk to him about every other day, and are so glad he gets to live his dream!

 

ANYWAY, before he left, he cleaned out his room really well, and after he left we finished up cleaning it out and moving what he didn't get to into what had been her room. He had a full-size bed. She wanted to keep her twin-size bed. So now she's in what used to be his room, and loves it! We set up her old room as a guest room, and it will be the room he uses when he's home.

Edited December 20, 2010 by Brindee

[ereks mom]

I think you should have been telling your oldest DS that when he goes off to college, then his room will be made over to the next oldest. Then he could have know what to expect. You should be telling this to your DD so she'll know when she goes to college it will happen to her too (though she'll probably be more accepting).

 

I would not change it over until your DS had time to come home and move anything he wants to move himself, since he thought it was his room forever.

 

:iagree:

[Rosie_0801]

I'd have thought that moving out means you forfeit your right to ownership of space in your parents' house unless they've got so much space they've got nothing else to do with your room. Or does going away to college not count as moving out?

 

 

Rosie

[QueenCat]

Not unreasonable but do it with care. Especially since he could end up home another summer, or after college for a bit. Try to make the new room have some of his things from the old room.

[Parrothead]

I can't believe you've let it go for this long. Your dd should have moved in there the day after your college son left.

[AlaskaGrownFamily]

I can't believe you've let it go for this long. Your dd should have moved in there the day after your college son left.

 

:iagree: Exactly. Your son needs to grow up. Passing his room on to his sister is a good first step, imo! :001_smile:

[AndyJoy]

You could watch Toy Story 3 together and comment on how much better he has it than Andy. His mom made him move out all his stuff as he was leaving for college so his sister could have the room immediately.:D

[Suzanne in ABQ]

My 5yodd is already planning the move into her 14yo sister's room, just as soon as older sis goes away to college. There won't be any question about it.

[AuntieM]

It's unfair for your dd to have to share a bathroom with brothers when there is another available. He's being selfish.

 

:iagree:

The bathroom is the dealbreaker for me. I would want my dd to have privacy, especially as she gets older. I could dance around and say it in a nicer way but, frankly, your son is the one being unreasonable. I don't even think you need to go all group-think and have him buy into it. If it were me, I'd not announce my plans, but as soon as he returned to school for the next semester, I'd be pulling a swap.

 

And (I didn't read all the replies yet) what did you mean by "his room has always been a pit"? If that means he has the best room, yet keeps it a mess... well, I say privilege lost.

[LisaKinVA]

Absolutely reasonable... your dd is "growing up" and needs her space (since you have it).

 

He at least gets a bedroom to come home to... I got a couch :D

[myfunnybunch]

Of course you're not being unreasonable. Give the room to your dd.

 

:grouphug:

 

He's coming from an emotional place, not a rational one. He's never going to be a child again, in his room, in his childhood home. Growing up is hard sometimes. Maybe after he's had some time to think it over, he could help get the room ready for your dd, feel like he's turning over his special space to his little sister.

 

I agree with the poster who suggested turning the now-extra room (your dd's old room) into a guest room, with the assurance that your home is always open to him.

 

Cat

[Tap]

I would guess he is feeling a loss of 'position' in the family. He is moving up and out, but wants it only on his terms. He had probably always had the 'king of the world' feeling at home, because he was the oldest and his bedroom was the one with the throne. (teee heee heee) I am thinking he feels a bit 'dethroned' and now his little sis is the biggest in the house, and now you are passing this honor to her.

 

I would talk to him and see if you can get an honest answer out of him about it. If the above is part of it....I would validate these feelings. It is hard to leave family, be away at college and to not think wistfully about being back home. That room probably represents a lot more to him than you think. To you, it is a house and a room. To him, it is security and memories, feeling safe and loved, but also about his place in the family as the oldest and it was 'his personal space'. You can't just move down the hall and have the same feelings and memories. I would acknowledge all of this as legitimate concerns/thoughts/and desires. Most people want the past to stay just like they left it. Most people, when they return to a hometown are sad about changes like a bowling ally closing, or a new shopping center replacing an old little league field. It is very hard to let go of who you were, and to acknowledge who we have become sometimes. He may need to be reminded that he will always be the big brother, even if he is the room down the hall.

 

 

But, time does move forward and things do change. HE does need to realize that your home is still home for everyone else who lives there 365 and that a bedroom with a throne doesn't really make him king. The honor and respect of his family are far more important that bedroom assignments. Honor and respect is based on his actions, and this action of not giving up a bedroom is self serving and inconsiderate. These are personality traits of people who are pitied, and loathed, not honored.

 

A major part of growing up is seeing how your own actions affect others, AND changing your actions based on that observance. A toddler is in the me, me, me phase and then pretty much grows out of it. A little bit of this toddler still exists in most people as they grow up but what they do with that feeling is one of the character traits that define a person.

 

When you talk to him, I would talk to him about what he expects as far as how you treat him. Does he expect to come home and be treated like a child of 10, 12 or an 18-20yo? Does he expect you to approve every place he goes? Have an 10pm curfew? Have chores and family duties? I assume he expects to be treated like an adult when he is home, not a toddler who is saying 'My room! Mine, mine!" I would ask him how long he thinks his childhood room should remain intact? 24? 29? I would ask him why his childhood room should remain intact? If the bathroom is a big deal to him, maybe strike a deal with sister that when big bro is in town, he can use her bathroom. You may need to remind him that when he comes home it is to family and a home, not a bedroom. The rest isn't changing....just where he sleeps.

 

I would try to accommodate his biggest points if you can by getting cooperation between him and his sister. It will show her that compromise is valuable in getting what you want, but also part of being a family and making sure every one's feelings are acknowledged and taken into consideration.

 

 

If he fights you and won't relinquish the room willingly.....I would trump him and move his stuff anyways. I would try very hard to get his approval in the process, but in the end....it makes absolutely more sense to have dd in that room than him.

Edited December 20, 2010 by Tap, tap, tap

[KJB]

Truly, I think it sends your college age son (and all of your children) the right message. Children need to know that after college, it's time to find a job and build a life, not move back into their own comfy pad at home.

 

His feelings are totally understandable. They are also immature.

 

I would validate his feelings by letting him know they are normal. Then, I would validate his adulthood by letting him know that his life is in front of him and not behind him.

 

You are helping him grow up by doing this for him and for your other children.

[Mom in High Heels]

Personally, unless you have one already, I'd turn the 14 year old's room into a good-looking guest room. My folks provided some attic and closet space, but off to college is off.

 

Absolutely this! When you go to college, you're out. You come home to visit, but your room should be turned back over to the house. My parents changed my room into a guest room about 5 minutes after I left for school. Your daughter should be given the room. She should have been given the room as soon as he left last year. It's not his any longer.

[TravelingChris]

Absolutely not. WE were living in a large house but not with enough bedroom when my son went to college. He didn't like it but we had told him, his bedroom was becoming his sister's when he left. We don't have the luxury of empty bedrooms. When he came back for break, we put him in the guest room which is bigger (it isn't solely a guest room so not appropriate for regular bedroom). When we moved and then he got ill, he got the bedroom again and we had older dd in the guest room/office. In this house, we have enough bedrooms for everyone. In our next potential house, we will have two regular bedrooms, one guest room, and if we have more rooms, we will have a bedroom for older dd who is going away to college next year.

[Chris in VA]

I'd have thought that moving out means you forfeit your right to ownership of space in your parents' house unless they've got so much space they've got nothing else to do with your room. Or does going away to college not count as moving out?

 

 

Rosie

 

I think there's some hesitation on the boy's part to think of going to college as moving out.

 

I can really understand how he feels.

 

Unlike other posters, I think I'd let your daughter have the bathroom, and then, next year, let her have the room. He just needs some transition time, and really, is it killing her not to have more space? She's not sharing a room with anyone, just a bathroom. I'd let him keep the room, but at break, tell him to clean it up.

[NanceXToo]

I see nothing wrong with doing that.

 

I would really talk to him and let him know how he has moved on and is moving on in life. Not that he is not part of the family anymore, but he is in college and soon going to have his own home. So, his sister who is still home will move up to a nicer room for her time here, then when she is off to college the room goes to the next one in line. This way all kids have something to look forward to.

 

Let him know he will still have a room at the house, just since he is not there as much anymore the larger one is not necessary.

 

Yep, I agree. It's not like you're changing the locks and refusing him a bed when he does want to visit home. But he doesn't LIVE there anymore. He lives at school, he's not even coming home for the summer anymore, and presumably he's going to get his own place after college. You don't need to keep his old room like a shrine... it's time to pass the torch and let the younger one enjoy the same benefits he did when he was younger and still lived at home. He's being a little selfish/immature, and you're being totally reasonable. He'll get over it!

 

ETA: And at his age, that wouldn't have bothered me. But then again.. at his age, I was already a mom. :P

[Tammyla]

Sounds reasonable and logical to me.

 

I would just move your dd in and expect him to be the grown up man that he is. The other bedroom would be used by either someone in the home or a very nice guest room. He still has two years of college left and possibly grad-school...and then life.

 

Don't feel guilty, he may fuss, but it wont harm him.

Edited December 20, 2010 by Tammyla

[Mary in VA]

When our oldest dd went to college we kept her room intact, just so she knew it was there waiting for her just as she left it, kind of like a security blanket. But her younger sister had her own acceptable room, just substantially smaller. We kept it that way through her sophmore year. That spring when I picked her up at college (12 hour drive home, lots of talking time!) she said while her sister was gone at camp during the summer she wanted to switch rooms with her so she would be surprised when she came home. We stealthily pumped younger dd for info on bedding, etc. Just a casual walk through Ikea after eating lunch there one day did it :001_smile: So while she was gone we moved everything, put up a new artist's desk that wouldn't fit in her old room and used the new bedding. Older sister meanwhile painted her new room the way she wanted. Younger daughter was THRILLED when she came home.

 

All this to say, I know what you are going through. You want to respect your ds's feelings but it isn't really fair to your dd. I think enough time has passed for you to switch the rooms; especially since your son isn't coming home for the summer! It might be nice if he could pick out something for his new room to make it his, if he would care :001_smile:

 

Hope the transition goes smoothly!

HTH,

Mary

[Sherry in OH]

My oldest, now a sophomore in college, has always had the best bedroom in the house with an attached bathroom. During his freshman year, we left the bedroom intact, even though it was a pit.

 

He is busy at college and rarely home, except for school breaks. He won't be coming home this summer because he's been selected for a summer position that will require him to be at the university.

 

My daughter, age 14, has been chomping at the bit to get the bedroom so she can have a bathroom that she doesn't have to share with her other younger brothers. It makes sense to move her to college boy's bedroom; she will make the best use of it, and I want to reclaim it and make it habitable again.

 

I will re-do younger sister's bedroom to make it masculine, and college boy will have this bedroom when he comes home. Nevertheless, he feels uprooted and can't understand why I don't get why he's so upset about this.

 

Am I being unreasonable to think that I don't need to leave the bedroom a shrine for a child who is home 30 days (at a maximum) a year?

 

Thanks for your input!

 

Your daughter waited a whole year? My sister was ready to move into my room the day I graduated high school! She so willingly helped me pack for college and chose which of my remaining belongings could stay in her room. The rest were packed into boxes and stored. She and her friends painted the room on the day my parents drove me to college.

[Kathleen in VA]

You could watch Toy Story 3 together and comment on how much better he has it than Andy. His mom made him move out all his stuff as he was leaving for college so his sister could have the room immediately.:D

 

This is what occurred to me, too. When I went to college my room stayed the same, but then it was just my mom and me. She already had a bedroom so she didn't need mine too.:D

 

:iagree:

The bathroom is the dealbreaker for me. I would want my dd to have privacy, especially as she gets older. I could dance around and say it in a nicer way but, frankly, your son is the one being unreasonable. I don't even think you need to go all group-think and have him buy into it. If it were me, I'd not announce my plans, but as soon as he returned to school for the next semester, I'd be pulling a swap.

 

And (I didn't read all the replies yet) what did you mean by "his room has always been a pit"? If that means he has the best room, yet keeps it a mess... well, I say privilege lost.

 

This too. The bathroom is a huge deal for a teenage girl, but I don't suppose your son has any way of relating to that so he probably doesn't quite get it. And it's not like you're putting him on the sofa - he's getting a personal space, just not the same one. He's being unreasonable and he will figure it out. I also think the change can wait until after his winter break, and I also agree that if he kept his room a disaster area that's the final clincher. And as another poster said, growing up can be painful - but it is what it is. He'll be ok.

[angela in ohio]

I wouldn't have waited this long. ;)

[JFSinIL]

Here, most folks we know have moved the college kid from the best bedroom (if that is what they had) to a lesser room, allowing the next-in-line sibling to move up in life. These are mostly folks with newer homes, though.

 

In our house, now freshman (and Wise Person Who Knows Everything in his "humble" opinion) gets to keep his room simply because in our old house all the rooms are pretty much the same.

[Haiku]

Am I being unreasonable to think that I don't need to leave the bedroom a shrine for a child who is home 30 days (at a maximum) a year?

 

 

I understand your son's anxiety, and it bears sensitive listening to. However, your dd should have the bedroom, no questions asked. I wouldn't have even waited as long as you did. My dd16 has already been informed that as soon as she goes away to college, her bedroom (with the attached bathroom) will be reallocated. It's nothing personal; it's about practicality.

 

Were it me I would talk with my son, listen to him, sympathize with him, and tell him he's still losing his room.

 

Tara